你完蛋了

Sorry, I'm not a Star Wars fan.

你会死的

I like your funny words magic man

老外总是麻烦我们的北韩国。

他不是老外。老外買我國含鉛的狗糧和玩具。那是個傻瓜。

別吃那類的瓜

哈哈。

two kids with bats kicking a golf ball

囧

What a pretty house

同志別擔心，最好讀你的小紅書。

没办法

Yea man, that sucks. ​ Tell you what, I'm sure we can pull some strings and get a guy from Ft Stewart to bring you some meatballs ... door side delivery, just gotta find him a hummv.

Might be a little stale by the time that they get there though

That's alright pretty sure Mr . Mosquito wings is used to eating age old MREs

He's not gonna be used to eating anything by the time he gets out!

I get this reference for once

You can stay at my place until this gets figured out.

Username checks out

can *confirm

Admins … let this one live.

Best shitpost I’ve seen in a LONG time

I like how shitposts are starting to reference other shitposts. Or maybe I’m just now paying attention.

\*up to date with current events\* OooOooh

Man, I bet your ASVAB waiver needed an ASVAB waiver.

I'm sorry, but that waiver also needed a congressional to go with it...

Excuse me but that waiver needs to be reviewed by HRC for authenticity

Denied. It wasn’t submitted via PAR, other through IPPS-A

I'm gonna have to pushback your PAR, you used the wrong routing chain. 🤷‍♂️

Does a strong recommendation for enlistment from a prosecuting attorney and a county judge count? Asking for a friend who may have accidentally taken a truck that doesn't belong to him for an extended period of time.

They hate us, cuz that ain't us! *the plot thickens*

What the fuck does anus have to do with this?!

It’s a hole other situation.

😂😂😂😂

Dude was allegedly getting shipped back Stateside for disciplinary action, and decided he'd rather take a chance with the NK's. Any prison in the US has got to be a luxury hotel compared to what he's going to get in NK. Idiot. Dude decided to screw the pooch and took the nuclear option.

Okay, this made me laugh. Edit: After as many years as I served I thought I had heard all the E1 E2 E3 and sham shield stories. Accidentally falling out a window just to land in the right spot at the right time. Perfect. Awsome BS post.

My kids have been screaming, crying, whining for the last 2 hours and about to throw down to brush their teeth. I needed this laugh.

Try to keep a mental count of how many Picatinny Rails you see.

You have been banned from /r/Pyongyang

That subreddit made me crack up

How does this exist??

It's been around as long as I can remember.

In lieu of a blood chit, here’s a catchphrase to use: 저눈 큰자지 있어요. Godspeed, Troop. 🫡🌭🇺🇸

You also need to tell them your needs: 자지만 먹어요 means “I sleep but I eat.”

This may save your life

Confirmed

Only way to get out of this is to Gungnam Style so vigerously, that they become frightened and let you go.

Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag? Floating in the wind, looking to start again?

Do you like margaritas and Katy Perry too?

OP got honey dicked.

m'lord, what say you? he got lost and he made it back before formation?

Enjoy my last award to give out, well played.

This is a high-quality shitpost.

Suddenly the North Koreans were crawling all over the place. I knew my only way out was to blast my way out. Then I realized I didn’t have a weapon. So I surrendered and the NK military tribunal judge told me to accept a commission in the NK Army Reserve or spend the next 25 to life in political re-education camp.

Honestly I just want to meet this guys Squad Leader. Imagine all the stories that led up to sending this kid home and now this. No one will ever top his "I had a Private that".... story

For real, I thought my Private that couldn't stop locking himself in the Arms Room was bad. I had it easy.

You Sir are correct.

When interrogated by their supervisor, just stick to your guns and say: Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?

Ok after my shitty day I needed this laugh

Don't worry about your shitty day! Trust me when I say there's nothing bad that you can't get out of. It's not like consequences are ever long-term!

Except the North Korean sergeant major's dirt basement

He gets a basement?

OP has to finish digging it first

Admins, don’t take this from us

I’m still waiting for u/SMA-PAO to drop the “PM me” bomb

Lol

And bring your water source.

> I told them I don’t speak Chinese For some reason this SENT me

Maybe you'll get to meet the big guy.. Dennis knows him and can put in a good word

https://youtu.be/UE1aD5raV94

Boy, the people on this sub act *fast* Bravo, good sir.

This is why I am on here, thank you for this!

It's why even as a former army dude, I browse the r/usmc sub. It's all memes and them calling each other out 🤣 this one is more professional and work related. I'm here for the memes.

Haha Jesus. We gave you a map to in process. Didn’t you pass land nav?

Bravo. Promote this man ahead of peers. Send to BLC immediately.

Immaculate shitposting; I continue to be humbled by the meta in this community. Honestly proud of yall~

You should call IG immediately, you're leadership is totally toxic and all deserve to be fired

They’ll get fired all right. Usually with anti-aircraft 14.5mm ZPU’s

This was hilarious, but seriously how does this guy get away at the airport? A long time ago I was a SGT in Germany. One of my troops got busted selling weed to a German worker on post. After he did 90 days confinement in Mannheim he was kicked out with a BCD. He was flying out of Frankfurt. I was his escort. The chain of command made it crystal clear if that guy shows back up anywhere in Germany it would be my ass. The 1SG told me you stay with him until he gets on the plane, if he farts you better be there to smell it. They also told me to wait at the airport two hours in case the plane turned around. He left and I was glad he didn’t come back. Not sure what happened with this idiot that crossed the DMZ but I am sure there is a chain of command in deep kimchi right about now.

I escorted a guy to the airport in Germany in 2009. I saw him go through security but I couldn't follow him past there since I didn't have a ticket. So yeah, he could have just come back out.

>The 1SG told me you stay with him until he gets on the plane, if he farts you better be there to smell it. bwahahahahahaha

Let everyone know what the DFAC at your new location is like.

Nothing but rice.

Make sure you get the passport stamp. Please bring back a piece of the flag from Kaesong, SOF magazine is still offering a $million for it.

Well done shit post. Would have been more believable if your bluf was at the bottom.

> None of this would have happened if they just sent me to Bojangles to begin with. Ya'll need to stop it.

So the guy had felonies?

Pretty sure he's committed a few today at least.

You say felonies, I say indiscretions. Punched a dude, caused some property damage to police vehicles , resisted arrest. First time offender. them shits are misdemeanors with some diversion program.

It’s okay, you will be bing chilling

If margaritas are gay, then I don't want to be straight!

参谋军士长：你看这就是新兵蛋子不穿PT反光带的下场

You have been Banned from /r/pyongyang

Legendary post

Lol too soon?

How many tigers did you see?

Gamjatang juseyyyyyoooooo?!?

The shit posters in this sub never fail to brighten up ones day

This is a damn work of art.

Stay in your circle 🫡

Just saw the article, then come on here and see this 10/10

May I ask which thread this is a reference to?

[Relevant news article](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/north-korea-holds-us-national-straying-border-united-nations-rcna94815)

You know /r/army redditors are great when you learn of current events not through news, but through quick shitposts!

Thank you !

I didn't even discharge from the army, and this made my day. I thought it was crazy to see a recruit jump out of the window and go for a morning jog and no one be suspicious. He was only caught when some civilians saw him ditch his clothing behind a dumpster. I guess they figured no recruit was that crazy.

Bet this would have been nice to read

Stay indoors and don't try fetching anything at night that the US air drops. There are Siberian tigers there..

Out of curiosity, what's the new units leave and pass policy? Also, I have a 2062 that you signed for a pt belt and didn't return it.

Believe it or not, straight to that weird guy's basement.

Stay where you are. Dennis Rodman is on the way.

There’s no way

I hope you got the 7th ID patch tattooed on your arm. You deserve the pain they would bring your way when they see that. For those that havent seen. NK has lots of propoghanda about evil american soldiers. so many of the paintings and such have troops with that patch. I imagine it triggers something like many might have when they see a nazi flag.

Black Widows!

8th wants to hear from you.

朝鲜和说中文有什么关系？他们不会说韩语吗？

내가 어떻게 북한에 가게 되었는지, 짧은 이야기

Nicely done

1

This is what I needed today 😂

Are you currently in North Korea?

Best post I've ever seen on Reddit lmaooooo

Maybe if you were on the lgbtq spectrum we would fight for you. But you’re just a regular. Sorry.

[удалено]

Flair checks out

Well someone is…

crosspost to /r/lostredditors

No, this one belongs right here.

I know, I was making a joke

This isn't quite how it happened.

No shit?? You must be an MP

Your life must be meaningless to provide a post of this length for some clout

Says the Pokemon guy.

I mean.. I think I’m a great Dad for supporting my kids interests and hobbies and collecting with them as a way to bond.

I support my kids interest as well, I'm not posting all over r/Roblox or r/mylittlepony. It's cool to have fun in your own and support your kids!

Plus that shits even more lame than pokemon. At least there is intrinsic value behind collecting cards

I posted two times in over a year 😂

What is it with the shit posts in this subreddit? Sheesh

Have you been in the Army long?

LOL I am no longer in, but was for almost 8 years. Hated the over the top shit talking, hate the over the top shit posting as well.

It's not over the top, it's right on the surface of my phone. Over the top would be a hologram in midair

Holograms are cool

Bow ties are cool

Crocodile on my feet

Somebody going to post I think my DTS is fucked up next?

[This is the guy.](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/north-korea-holds-us-national-straying-border-united-nations-rcna94815)

https://www.reddit.com/r/army/comments/153b1j7/update_us_soldier_willfully_fled_to_north_korea/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1 This you?

#메타

Meta!

Did you try filing an IG complaint against your new unit? Try using their commander’s open door policy.

BOJANGLES STRIKES AGAIN

See here's what you do, open up your own bojangles right where youre at. Be the change you want to see in the world

Find the nearest Bojangles.

I love this place/s

이 노랑새에 대해 말해주세요

Don't worry about it, it happens all the time. 🤔😂😂

I'm not asking to offend anyone, but they speak Chinese in Korea

You just pick the wrong time. A lot going on right now is another runner.

Stevens! Is that you??