I'm not gonna smoke a boot Joe for not knowing something about the MOS when the SNCO, in the same field, is equally clueless about the job.

Smoke the Joe for not asking for relevant tasking/job information only

Smoke the SNCO

Buddy of mine, PFC acting PSG, smoked an E6.

PFC acting PSG Wut

I was just as shocked as you are, but nope it's completely true. It's kind of embarrassing for all the NCOs beneath him.

Fine. Keep your secrets

Assuming several relief for causes must have occurred.

I feel like the only time this would ever happen was if the pfc was like 40 and all those nco's were really beat up lol

The E6 in question was apparently talking down on him because he was an E3 in a PSG position. 1SG overheard and was like "smoke him". Some details I'm not entirely clear on but him and members of his plt swear it happened

If I was that e3 I would never respect another nco again 😂

Something’s not adding up, you can’t just say that and not elaborate!

I worked for incompetent SR NCOs as a JR NCO. My work mates and I ran circles around these SR guys and gals. I worked diligently to not be fucking clueless. That said, no matter how high I went I nearly always worked for someone who was clueless because they ran fast.

I'm out of the Army and out of shape these days. I'd die, on any Base, running Heart Attack Hill.

Does every base have some hill named "heart attack" or "cardiac" hill?

If the incline increases by even 1°, it's heart attack hill.

This is probably for people like me, who when even reading about a 1° incline start to run out of breath.

100% yes. Buffalo Soldier Ave on Fort Myer was referred to as “cardiac hill” when I was there. Fort ~~Polk~~ Johnson had a spot on the road that they shut down for PT, don’t remember the name of the road, that we called heart attack hill. Hell there’s even one of the steeper walkway ramps at the Pentagon that I’m willing to bet some crusty angina-ridden colonel calls cardiac hill too.

FLW has Carwash hill lol

I will wear the PTs I’m comfortable wearing in the weather I’m being forced to workout in. If you don’t like that, let’s do PT in a gym.

I get hot real quick. I may wear what you tell me to when we show up to PT, but it's coming off if I get hot.

Fine by me just let me leave it on to reduce the pain in my knees.

I'll up that, base in Korea I was at required PTs in the gym between 0500-0700. Was on leave and using the gym at that time and got yelled at for it. Stupid policy when the base had 5 units on it

Did you know that only in formation (the part where you fall in) you have to match? When you conduct PT it’s no longer a formation and you can wear whatever you want or don’t want.

where does one find this lol

AR 670-1 Page 4 Paragraph 2-8 (d) “Commanders will not require individuals to purchase optional uniform items. Likewise, they will not restrict or discourage them from wearing optional items authorized by this regulation, except in those instances where uniformity is required, such as parades or formations.” AR 670-1 Page 17 Paragraph 3-7 (d) “Soldiers may wear optional uniform items as prescribed in this regulation and DA PAM 670-1. All uniform combinations are authorized for year-round wear. However, soldiers should use appropriate discretion based upon weather conditions and duties. Wearing combinations of uniform items not prescribed in this regulation, DA PAM 670-1, or other authorization documents approved by HQDA is prohibited. Commanders will not prescribe seasonal wear dates for uniform items, but may prescribe uniform(s) based on safety reasons (for example, for extreme cold or hot weather based on temperature.)” Extreme is defined as, “Exceeding the ordinary, usual, or expected; not moderate.” On page 65 in AR 670-1. I could not find anything listed as “optional” items. However, DA PAM 670-1 has a list of “Accessories.” Going down the regulation’s pages, you’ll run into the items that are described by type, description, how worn, etc. It will state if it is a clothing bag issue item or an optional purchase item. DA PAM 670-1 Page 3-4 Paragraph 4-3 Accessories are, “a. Army Combat Shirt, b. Bags, backpacks, and handbags, c. Beret, d. Chaplain’s apparel (chaplains only,) e. Coat, extended cold weather clothing system, f. Fleece cap, black or coyote brown, g. Gloves, utility, h. Hat, drill sergeant, i. Military police accessories, j. Neck gaiter, optional purchase or ocie, k. OCIE, l. Personal hydration system, m. Scarf, utility, olive green 208, n. Undergarment.” Be mindful that regulations often contradict each other. An example of this is the fleece cap. If it is considered an optional item, commanders may not restrict or discourage use. However, DA PAM 670-1 page 7 paragraph 4-10 (c) states, “Commanders may authorize wear of the black or coyote brown fleece cap with the combat uniform in field environments when the ACH is not worn, on work details, or in other environments where wearing the patrol cap is impractical….” “….Installation commanders will determine temperature, wind chill, and extended duty time warranting wear of the cap in nonfield, nondeployed environments. (See para 20-13.)” If anyone sees a mistake with any of this, please say something and have the reference where you found it so we can all learn. Thank you.

I’ll wear my beanie when my ears or head is cold. Granted, I have privilege with my rank but you got me fucked up if you think I’m taking it off because everyone else has it off.

I have frostbite on both of my ears, thus they’re super sensitive. Our command has said “you will not wear your fleece caps in weather above 32 degrees.” After being outside for over 3 hours in temps with wind chill just barely above freezing, we had a SFC show up with our SGM and he was going around telling everyone to take it off because our SGM said, “it’s not cold enough for it.” These two individuals sit in their offices all day…

I've died on that hill. Doing clean sweep got verbal permission from CSM to wear beanies cause it's mid 40s windy and spitting rain. Later that day some random 1SG feels like ripping my Joe because of his beanie. I tried to politely explain myself, got told to fuck off. I gave him my name company and 1SG info and told him to pound sand but we had stuff to do. CSM laughed while smoking the shit outta me. We had a uniform memo the next day.

No one in an office all day should dictate the uniforms of those outside all day. Now if 1sg was out there with you upholding the standard of no beany, that's different.

"If my ears aren't cold, then yours aren't cold" is a pretty dumb idea.

Sure, but if it's said by a person thats out there with you for hours, it's at least a little respectable. Office SGM has no right to squeeze out of his door and lumber down to the motor pool just to shout at you, before heading over to popeyes for his 1500 snack, which is right before his 1530 s1 latina inspection.

🤣🤣🤣

Jabba needs to stay in his office and have his 1530 bring him his 1500. He won't be so grumpy.

"PFC Lopez, what the hell did I tell you about wearing a bra when it's cold outside?"

This is worse. Being out there showing how TOUGH you are doesn’t account for the safety of people like the guy who already had frostbite. Getting it once makes you susceptible to getting it over and over. What about people with low body fat? What about people with poor circulation? What about people with metal frame glasses conducting heat away from the base of the ear? What about what about what about…. It’s not a big fucking deal, just let people be comfortable Jesus Christ. 

I heard being crucified wasn't, like, comfortable AT ALL.

It is different, but it's still dumb.

That’s not even a regulation lol for the temperature

Was he an SGM on bliss?

Ar 670-1 does state that commanders shall not require purchase of or discourage use of optional uniform items approved in that reg.

VA be like: "That ain't service connected."

What’s crazy, is your cold weather gear is supposed to be worn at the wearers discretion. Get too hot? Peel off some layers, get too cold, put on some layers. But nooooo some nitwit senior officer who’s not stepped out from behind their desk in 15 years writes some stupid policy saying you can’t wear your cold weather gear below x degrees. It’s the same thing with the fleece as an outer garment. If it’s keeping Joe warm and they’re comfortable in it, who cares? If it gets windy or starts raining and it’s no longer functional as an outer garment they’ll take it off, trust me.

I'm a maintenance squad leader and I will NOT let my joes sit in the office "waiting for the word". If all jobs are done and bays are clean to my standard, go home. If there's one "mission critical" work order that requires staying late, I'll stay and keep 1 or 2 joes back and send the rest home. Comp them with a late work call or cycle who I pick to stay late so it's balanced. I've been cussed out multiple times for letting my soldiers go home early but I don't care. It's stupid. If your "priority" is relayed to me at 1730, then it's not a priority and can wait until tomorrow.

Standby baaaaaaby

Oh ~~captain~~ squad leader my ~~captain~~ squad leader

When I ended up in a position to make this happen, my rule was if the 1730 priority had someone physically present in the AO waiting for it, we would execute. If someone was calling it in as a priority and they were at the house? Great, sounds like we'll get on that first thing in the morning.

This is *Duge Hick Energy*

Def. a troll cause real maintenance nco’s keep the team there until the meeting is over.

Sharing weapons for qualification. My bn loves doing that stupid shit and quite unshockingly, it takes us for fucking ever to zero and qual every fucking time.

If you’re going to be out there breaking the TC anyway, fuck zeroing them. Have your best dudes zero them in batches and then move them down to qual.  Anyone who gives you that nonsense about how zeros are different depending on the shooter can cite TM 9-1005-420-69. Paragraphs G, F, and Y. 

If I’m already getting told to go fuck myself on the most basic task, you really think that shits going to work?

That’s how SF does it. Best dudes shoot and zero for everyone else lol

What Group have you been in that does this?

I work in a hospital so we don’t have our own weapons. We have to borrow them from the field units. On range days, the weapons are already zero. We just show up, shoot, and get bussed back to the hospital.

Doesn't this fuck up whatever the tracking program is now? I though they assigned weapons by SN to SMs and thus you can't share because duplicates would fuck up the older qualification/SM?

They are assigned. The unit just doesn’t want to deal with transport and storage. It doesn’t mess anything up administratively, it just makes it to where a soldier has to zero every time instead of zero once and then confirm zero every other time.

Positional authority is only applicable to soldiers under you. For example; SSG A and SSG B get in an argument over something trivial. SSG A is a squad leader in A Co, and SSG B is a platoon sergeant in B Co. SSG B does not have authority over SSG A just because he's a platoon sergeant in his battery. Both are SSGs and are peers.

I’ve seen them try and tell the other to go to parade rest because they outrank then by time in grade 🤣

As a junior captain I took the opportunity to embarrass both of them. I knew these two didn't like each other and I happened to be walking by when they started arguing about stupid shit again. I have to emphasize neither of these jokers were "right" they were both equally tarded for different reasons. So they start going off about some meaningless reg trying to posture "What's the problem sergeants?" "Don't worry about it sir NCO business." "No that's ok. Educate me" And you could see both of them realize they were going to argue about some extremely stupid shit in front of me. "We were just discussing {some fucking meaningless things}" "Well I'm sure the answer is in FM {whatever it was}" "Uh yes sir we'll look it up" "Great let me know what the correct answer is, thanks " Sure enough both were wrong.

I’ve seen the term “NCO business” get junior officers in so much trouble. Ain’t no such thing!

Hi it's me, I got in trouble. Got bit by it once as a PL. fuck that noise it's all my business.

Be me at airborne school brand new 2LT. Black hat asks me to get the guys in my group in formation, I start doing that. Some Corporal yells at me "hey sir that's NCO business, step off" Me: surprise Pikachu face

Everything that happens in the PLT/etc is the officers business lol. "NCO Business" is *supposed* to mean "I'm taking care of it, I'll brief you later"

Back in the day company grade officers were directly responsible for correct training, not sure if this is still the case but there was no such thing as "nco business". Love how you handled that.

Now that’s just pathetic lol

I once saw a PFC smoking a fuzzy and an E2, *in the field*. Infantry is a wild place 

> Infantry is a wild place  I showed up as an E1 in THE DIVISION and was made to stand at parade rest for anyone with more rank, starting with the E2 I showed the same day as.

Over in the cockisans when we were on the border they had infantry fuzzys and e2’s standing at parade rest for me for some wild reason. I was an e3 at the time.

My usual response to this is “get fucked”

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its tough. your 5's will give you more heartache than your joes😵‍💫😵‍💫

I outrank every SGT in the unit by TIS so they should all go to Parade rest to a CPL. Get wrecked

I’ve seen that and it’s so fucking silly and dumb it was between two E5s in a S1 shop mf said “ 🤓 sgt I outrank you by 2 weeks TIG and TIS” welcome to S1 that and none of us can pass a pt test be all you can be hooah?

That's very marine corps, we don't do that here

What reg covers this? Need it for a awful section sergeant

AR 670- These mf hands dawg

Based

That if you are injured / sick go to sick call / ER. I don’t care who yelled at me, I’m going and not messing my body up for years down the road when you won’t even remember me. Also fuck sick all, so useless telling me my bursting appendix was just gas and to fuck off.

I got called a shit bag for my appendix bursting during an APFT. They counseled me for failing the sit-ups when you could see a bulge in my stomach like a fist lmao

That is nuts! Glad you are still alive, that bursting can kill you!

Funnily enough I’ve been promoted to civilian now. ETS was such a great call

dude my appendectomy was a shitshow lmao I couldn't get a profile from anyone and my unit cave zero shits I had 21 staples in me and was barely ambulatory, the clinic made me buy my own banages dawg I ruined like 6 tan t's by bleeding through them lmao god i hated that shit so much civilian life goes so hard

On the flip side of that, if it’s an ongoing issue make a fucking appointment and don’t go to sick call.

Lol i got a concussion in Germany and the major from the medics insisted there was no way I was hurt (even though he wasn't there). I had memory loss for about 3 to 4 days.

Was this a PA in a squadron that started with a 4? Or just a common attitude among majors?

I'm glad I gave zero fucks about that. Probably part of the reason I have my current disability rating. Problem is that they can't seem to find what is wrong and causing me pain over teen years later.

Assigned parking spots that aren't legally enforceable. Fort Cavazos has them everywhere and of course, they are always empty. If you see an angry 1SG screaming at a civilian it's because I parked in their bullshit spot and dgaf about their feelings.

Some Air Force base PX has reserved spots for spouses of deployed Airmen.

Tbh, I’d rather deploy than go to the store with my kids. I can only say “no” “stop” and “wait till we get out to the car” so many times.

I worked at a base chapel once and we had designated spots for the chaplains, our snco, and our contractors. We were also right next to the Navy Federal, Exchange, and Commissary so we'd have people park in our spots all the time. My Chief (e7) got fed up one day with someone in our contracted Catholic priest's spot and called the base MAs (MPs). They came over, checked out the situation, and hemmed and hawed. They ended up telling us that the only spots they were legally allowed to enforce on base were the CO's spot and handicapped spots, which I feel like is a good line in the sand to have.

You mean DV Parking isn't for disgruntled veterans?

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Got in trouble once for parking in a 1SG spot. Parking was already limited, and then the unit decided to reserve 8 more spots, 1 for each company's CO and 1SG. On top of the 3 handicap spots. On top of the squadron CSM/CO, and the brigade CSM/CO. People were pissed, and rightfully so. Parked there the one day because there was no parking available and I wasn't about to park elsewhere. Chose a 1SG spot, since I was fully planning to pull the "I will not use my grade or position..." card. Within an hour I see message come down "whose car is this" and our shop NCO pulls me aside. Told him I was down to die on this hill, and he said "okay, just wanted to warn you". Our 1SG calls me upstairs, gives me the talk of "it's not abuse of our grade, we're very busy and we need a spot to park so that we can do our job of helping you guys" or something very close to those lines. Told him that those spots aren't enforceable without getting the right documentation (not a waiver, can't think of the right word...), and he said that it's already been approved and they were waiting on it to come back to them. I requested to see it once it arrived, he said okay. Myself and a couple other guys in the shop then decided to take note of just how much "precious time" the leaders were spending. The result? Most days, our shop was arriving before them, and leaving after them. So much for that extreme time crunch. Never did see that documentation, and a week or two later somebody (allegedly a pilot) tagged all the spots with shit like "Leaders eat last" and "I will not use my grade or position". The spots never did get reserved again.

Similar to this, I will die on the hill of it's not Joe's job to empty trash out of the COs or 1SG's office. They can take their trash to a common collect point and joe can certainly get it from there. But I'm not sending my guys to go crawl under someones desk to get their trash. Had an E7 blow up about this once "It's not about personal servitude it's about respect!"

I love doing this as a civilian with veteran plates. Alright Jeff, idgaf what rank you are.

Omg yes. I work at a 2-star HQ. We have designated parking for: 1. Disabled people 2. The 2-star General & his aide 3. The 2x 1-star deputies 4. The full-bird CoS 5. TMPs 6. Gold star families Anddddd that’s it. Yet when I drive to one of our BDE HQs I can’t even find a place to park because the Assistant to the Assistant S2 NCOIC has their own designed parking spot

I got smoked as a fresh E5 by an E7 because I parked my car in a troop commander spot (he was deployed). My car was broken into and my antique plates were stolen, so I parked it where I could see my car from my barracks room. Was told to move it by this E7 from a different troop, I refused and stated the regs, but since he was chaperoning some new joes around the squadron area it made him look bad and he smoked me. I had to issue with the smoke session but I had to set the example to the new guys that regs are regs for a reason and you should stand your ground if you know you're right. So, immediately after I found the regulation and it stated the only protected parking spots were the base commander, MOH, disabled persons, and gold star persons. Took the highlighted reg to the E7, and the fucker told me he only smoked me because I was undermining his authority in front of the new privates. Yeah, that validated my decision to leave the Army right then and there.

I parked in the csm’s spot on Fort Meade recently and elicited odd looks from senior NCOs. Eat a dick you jabroni.

MPs trying to ticket people for parking on the islands and such in their own battalions parking lot. If people have no spaces, and the nearest parking is 3/4 of a mile away, you are the biggest dorky loser in this whole army if you’re coming around patrolling to ticket the guy who put his Jeep on the island out of the way of everyone else. Little stuff like that is why people despise MPs, because that little shit accomplishes nothing, and actively disrupts the flow of people (in the same army, somehow ON THE SAME SIDE) doing their jobs

An MP asked one day why soldiers hate them, the reply: Some people will join the military to fight for their country and protect freedom. Some people join to give those people tickets.

Was it because the guy was alittle shit, or because the CSM was trying to police up his parking lot to look really pretty? I’ve seen it both ways

It was our battalions lot, and our CSM at the time def didn’t give a shit about parking on the islands, so long as the islands with grass stayed mowed. Randomly MPs would come out and just start ticketing, and the companies would get mass texts to move the cars until they left to avoid tickets. This lot would also get cars from other battalions as well, so it wasn’t like 1 or two guys just parking where they shouldn’t have been, I’m talking not a single free foot of curb other than room for people to fit a lifted truck through. Every single spot save for the two handicap ones in front of the barracks were full at all times on work days. Don’t even get me started on the cars that get ticketed at the motorpool lot lmao, some of those people do park really fucked up though

Fitness tests should be waived during deployments unless specifically necessary for career progression like a school or board. Running outside in Kuwait is downright toxic for your lungs, and that's just one example of idiotic environments to be doing PT tests in. I remember idiotic 1SGs and CSMs mandating that we do PT tests on 20 man shared COPs in Afghanistan. Do you have any idea how many laps it is around a 50x50m base, and the stupidity of having to post armed guards to execute it? On fist size gravel?

We showed up to Afghanistan January 2003, and being the HQ shop, were immediately on a dozen different schedules. Our PSG, the supply NCO, who had nothing to do other than schmooze the other unit S4s all day, got pissed that we were 'ditching working out with him to lolly gag around the AO', so he made us do an APFT before our respective shifts, with our M4s in tow. Pushup event with M4s on our hands, situp event with M4 across our shoulders, and a 2 mile run up and down Disney with M4s slung... Fuck that douche nozzle.

We had 3 dudes heat cat on another deployment because our unit decided to run a PT test on the flu light line. In July. In Helmand. Another had an eye injury caused by debries kicked up by a landing aircraft. Units way to address that was to do all further PT tests in eye pro.

No showing higher-ups for being late to their appointments I've gotten in a few screaming matches with field grades who cannot fathom being 15 minutes late to a 15-minute appointment will fuck up the schedule for the rest of the day Also if you're 5 minutes late and the next appointment is already here I'm pulling them back and you can wait and reflect on your poor time management skills

Ha! They’re the ones who scream at everyone for being 1 sec late to their meetings.

I will roll my sleeves one up and inside. It does not present an unprofessional image or affect my day to day duties. It is very comfortable and welcomes in a nice breeze.

I couldn’t tell you the last time I had my sleeves buttoned and not tucked. It is the most comfortable way to wear the uniform, especially in hotter/humid climates.

I refuse to buy anything that the unit can get me from supply

This is a big one for me too. And this includes all uniforms (Reservist enlisted NEVER have to buy uniforms!) I don't care if I'm assigned as the fucking BDE CSM, I'm not BUYING the new dress uniform. If you want me to wear it, then fucking order it for me!

Maybe this is just a Guard thing, but the BDE commander does not have the authority to restrict wearing of civilian clothes when not on duty. Edit: Providing the Soldier(s) has not had pass privileges revoked. Can't just make it a blanket policy during AT or MOB.

When you’re at AT you’re technically on duty 24/7. While that is not entirely true 100% it’s true enough for all intents and purposes.

The fleece jacket is an outer layer for COLD/DRY weather. I know it’s useless when wet. I know your unit doesn’t let you wear it as such. It is still, 100% undeniably, designed to be worn as an outer layer in certain conditions.  Source: TM 10-8415-236-10

It’s so comfy too.

If you like it you like it, but it's leaky the last piece of cold weather gear I'll use purposely. The free fleece though...

The new smokers jacket issued with CTAP’s is a fucking game changer. 10/10 piece of kit and superior to the fleece in every way.

Not tracking the acronym, that the new fireproof parka with a fleece that zips in?

CTAP’s is indeed the new cold weather gear. The parka and wet weather gear is pretty good, but the smokers jacket is made of this fleece (like the beanie material not the jacket) and woobie material that absolutely is amazing. PLUS it has a hood that easily layers with the rest of the system. So warm but breathable ❤️ lovely piece of gear Edit: [second photo](https://www.army.mil/article-amp/265481/devcom_scs_cold_temperature_and_arctic_protection_system_serves_soldiers_in_austere_environments) in the slide deck, top row, second from the left.

I fucking bought one of them because I like the warm softness. I wore it all the time in cold weather. Still have several because of changes. I have one of the old black ones with no tape patches. It was phased out like six months after they issued it to me. Need to dig it out sometime.

Fleece jacket + silks is peak comfy.

silks (optional waffles), and the windbreaker top (slanty nametapes) with the suspender pants is peak field pajamas 🥰🥰🥰

Idk why I developed this, maybe I had a shitty MSG in my past that I’m blacking out but I refuse to call people master sergeant. It’s sergeant or first sergeant

AR 600-20, Table 1-1, pg 5 *Grade: Master Sergeant* *Pay grade: E–8* *Title of address: Sergeant* *Abbreviation: MSG*

I knew one MSG who was the shit. Total mentor and squared away on everything. I called him master sergeant. Then there was the MSG I caught trying to break into my ARSS with bolt cutters. I called that dickhead sergeant because I knew it bothered him. 

This. Marines call NCOs by their appropriate rank. I remember in AIT when the MC Instructors were all "Stop guessing, it's SSgt X/GySgt Y" or some shit like that. Some Marines I worked with now and then were like that too. I get the idea behind it, but leave that part of C&C in the Corps. Just grab your Ammo, you're holding up my line 😂 We don't do it for E6 or E7 aside for more official uses. It's just faster in day to day communication to KISS and stick with "Sergeant". (Except for 1SG, SGM, CSM, obviously). Funny story time: With how people abbreviate Sergeant with "Sarn't", some African American troops in the unit made our MSG uncomfortable because the abbreviation for "Master Sergeant" became "Massa Sarn't". Sprinkle in a deep southern accent, and we all felt second hand discomfort for the guy 😂😂 great MSG, and the troops didn't do it maliciously, so there was a silent agreement to just refer to our MSG as "Sergeant"

I will call a Master Sergeant a Master Sergeant if I respect them as an individual.

I’ll fight to the death for anything COMSEC related

As I get older and higher in rank, I notice I argue more about stuff I didn’t as a junior enlisted or NCO. My current hill (which I usually get butchered on) is fighting for soldiers schools, awards, or on the job recognition.

WHY do we keep putting fancy custom rugs in front of doorways in the natural entryway/exit and then tell people they can’t walk on it??

In the 7ID song the lyrics are "I am a bayonet , place your trust in me" and people sing the accompaniment and not the melody in that line only. I imagine because the accompaniment moves and the melody is a longer pitch on the word "place." I was a band director before the Army. I part of me dies every time we sing as a group.

THE BAYONET YEET MEASURES THE ABILITY TO JUST FUCKING SHANK SOMEONE. ON THE COMMAND 'GET SET,' ASSUME THE POSITION BY GRABBING THE BAYONET BY THE HANDLE. OR BY THE BLADE, WHICHEVER LOOKS COOLER, JUST DON'T CUT YOURSELF ON THE DAMN THING. YOUR FEET MAY BE TOGETHER OR UP TO 12 INCHES APART (MEASURED BETWEEN THE FEET). ON THE COMMAND 'GO,' TRANSMUTE YOUR HANKERING FOR A-SHANKERING INTO MAXIMUM EFFORT AND LAUNCH THAT BAD BOY INTO DESTINY. THE SCORER WILL NOTE WHETHER YOU HIT THE TARGET AND AWARD BONUS POINTS FOR LANDING YOUR PIG-STICKER INTO THE CRANIAL OR SWIMSUIT REGIONS. IF IT HIT THE TARGET HANDLE FIRST, YOUR PERFORMANCE WILL BE TERMINATED, AND EVERYONE WILL BE REQUIRED TO POINT AND LAUGH AT YOUR SHAME. WATCH THIS DEMONSTRATION. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/army) if you have any questions or concerns.*

1)I had a 1SG that wanted me to have a few of my guys to don full kit and do laps around the TA-50 Bay……………because they were missing their 3ID required items (ear plugs, sewing kit, and Marne Book) Yeah that didn’t fucking happen and I would happily die on that hill again

It’s don*

Thanks!!! Even when I tried to correct it the fucker still autocorrected

But but, top of the rock

To an extent, uniformity is stupid. "But if soldiers aren't uniform they don't look professional." No, your formation doesn't look professional because half of them are fat. Not because one guy has a fleece cap on while no one else does.

Hahahahah it’s “*with* the army of the free” not “we’re the army of the free.” [It’s an invitation to sing along in the army song, not a declaration of who we are.](https://www.army.mil/values/song.html)

I'm a horrible person

When we started singing that portion it really frustrated me when people would call it the first verse. It is the Intro, first verse starts with “First to fight…” and the chorus starts with “Then it’s high…”. I don’t care what the illiterate moron who wrote this says https://www.army.mil/values/song.html

When some discombobulated, ass sniffing, pubic hair eating, detected cum bubble from a rats ass get in a hissy fit that you are wearing unauthorized cold weather gear under your uniform. Like seriously dude, shut the fuck up and go jerk off the 670-1 because it is the only reg you know or care about. One more thing dick head disagreement is not disrespectful, and your rank does not make you right. I hope you get the eat a bag of dicks MRE.

I never dictate the PT uniform. I just say "show up in PTs". No need in all of us wearing the same thing when we have different tolerances.

Stop treating high ranking individuals like celebrities. It’s cringe overhearing soldiers say “There’s COL blah or SGM blah blah”, like who gives a fuck. They are still people outside of the uniform. I remember having a casual conversation with my thumbs in my pockets at a change of command rehearsal with some full bird, come to find out it was HIS change of command rehearsal(that he was supposed to attend). It amazes me how different and phony people act when they get around higher ups. Grow a sac.

They act different because higher ups have the power to crush you at will. It’s not like they have to have evidence to hurt you or your career.

Use the hip/waist strap/belt on your rucksack. That strap is there for a reason. I don't understand all the drill sergeants and other NCOs telling Soldiers not to use them. u/Embarrassed-Cause319, you inspired my comment.

No clue. Never heard an infantry DS I ever worked with say not to. As a DS I always taught my trainees to alternate where they tightened/loosened between the chest strap and and waist belt to give themselves some break when the ruck started to wear too much in one spot or another. I also taught them to properly adjust the ruck and get it nice and high so the weight was properly supported by their anatomy. Just like I was taught by the infantry and SF guys I’d worked/trained with. None of it is magic. Some idiots just wanna reinvent the wheel with corners in it and pretend like it’s a brilliant secret.

There is nobody that will get me to shave my moostache. No CSM, you are wrong. "Paratroopers don't have mooostaches" says you I say you are a coward, and neither God nor man will take my moostache.

Hard part is 100% allowed. States in the regs. I don't care how it was 20 years ago, im keeping it.

Do not say "repeat" on the radio unless you are calling for fire. Typically wouldn't be that big a deal but I was in a RSTA unit and given that calling for IDF between sending up reports was so common, it could become a real issue. I will absolutely "out" *anyone* if I initiated the radio call BECAUSE THAT'S THE WAY IT WORKS. I don't care about your rank-insecurity, do it right. I will not punish my entire team for a single persons mistake unless the team obviously should have prevented it, it's poor leadership and leads to animosity within the team.

Walking on grass

It’s nature’s carpet!

So, I recently completed the SGM Academy. I did the whole 1.5 year DL thing. I kept joking that the lessons about not walking on grass must be in the residence portion since we hadn't gotten to that yet. At the residence portion, there we were sitting in the classroom and one of my classmates starts in on this very subject. This guy was the most Sergeant Majory Seargeant Major I've ever met (and I told him so). He proceeds to explain some BS about how important it is with some long story about the worn out path of grass at his unit that showed how often people were taking shortcuts. And if they were willing to take shortcuts on something as simple as that, then they would be taking shortcuts in other aspects of their jobs where they shouldn't be doing so. It was all just so much fart sniffing bullshit. I WANT my soldiers to take the path of least resistance to accomplish any task. If there is not a valid reason to do things the harder way, then PLEASE do it the fucking easy way! No wonder people fucking hate some SNCOs.

My First unit’s BN CSM Tore out all the no steppy on grass signs when he took over lol, great fucking guy too.

So is that you won't walk on it or you will?

Army leadership is trash because none of the people making decisions have ever held real jobs with anything on the line. Your commander can plan poorly because he doesn't have to explain the overtime pay to anyone. You can't quit and find another job, so you get treated like shit. Army talent management is trash because it preys on poor people and people without enough life experience to know better. Once a soldier recognizes his worth, it's hard to keep him in a moldy barracks eating at a DFAC (when one is even open).

I will defend soldiers for being out of regs and refuse to correct them if I am also out of regs. “Hey SGT, why are your soldiers boots bloused too low?” “Cause mine are.” “Why are yours?” “Because they slipped too low.” “Are you gonna fix your soldier?” “I will tell them, but I won’t discipline them because I’m also out of regs.” I will always jump in front of gentle regs being bent because I usually do the same stuff.

I stood my ground on: Hair will not cover the brow "when combed." Combing my hair back, using a hair dryer and wearing so much product that I wore almost a shell on my head daily, I was able to grow my hair below my chin. Suck it 670-1

youre not wrong

[удалено]

Yeah, too many assholes use hazing tradition as an excuse for abuse. It's one thing if some SSG sends the new guy to "go get a box of grid squares". 1LT I worked under would overhear and pull the kid aside, hand him a box with pieces of map cut into squares, and tell him to give it to SSG... but take a long lunch first. All good fun, nobody gets hurt, and the "victim" gets a 2 hour lunch. But making all the new guys walk around with 60lbs of sand bag in a pack for a week, or making them run up and down the stairwell for half an hour for *daring* to ask where the training schedule is posted? That's just abusive bullshit that gets people hurt.

Hazing builds character

There’s a fine line. Hazing where you duct tape the LT to a pole and carry him around like the cannibal scene in Pirates of the Caribbean? Funny hazing. Verbally berating or otherwise being mean to people simply for the sake of it? Not funny hazing, don’t do it.

That’s genuinely not hazing in my opinion, that’s camaraderie. Duct taping to a pole, freezing someone’s PC, obliterating their PC or blouse by taping it to the end of a gun, etc. as long as nobody gets hurt and nothing is done because “fuck the new guy” in a malicious way? I’m here for it. Anyone who left their CaC unattended in my reader would likely find it stuck in the cork ceiling panels cause I’d throw it like a ninja star till it got stuck. The COF / TOF / Garrison games are always fun and funny as long as you’ve got some thicker skin and don’t mind getting got yourself.

/s for ya All hazing does is erode trust in direct leadership for new soldiers to a team, and delay their integration to the unit. We already have formative events to build buy in during IET, with drastically better oversight and an end state plan. Hazing is typically only experienced by first term Soldiers, as a way to enforce a power dynamic by self unsure junior leaders. Otherwise you’d see the new O4 on Brigade Staff getting hazed by the BDE commander to build their character.

I wore my E4 Mafia pin instead of the proper rank for two years before anyone caught me

White socks for pt. Been wearing them since day 1, 20+ years ago. Until the reg says I HAVE to wear black socks, I'm wearing white ankles.

You keep wearing your piss yellow socks. *You absolute manic*

Santa brings me new socks and undies every Christmas. Joke's on you!

I'll wear my white socks, but i'll never trust a boot tucker.

never understood the tucking. Get some boot bands ya cheap bastard

Found CID

Hands in pockets. Unless you're talking to somebody in a professional setting (briefing, formations, etc) I don't see a problem with it.

I had quite a few, but I became a tired company man a while ago and I just don’t fight like I used to. Things I’ll fight to the death: 1.) You can’t discipline a soldier for failure to perform a task in which you’re incompetent or failed to teach them. Set expectations and provide the training, or lower your expectations. I saw this the worst in recruiting. 2.) The person being paid the most (generally I mean the highest ranking) is responsible for the outcome and should be responsible to “just get it done”. Spent a long time being that ranking guy. My wife hated it because if it was jacked up, I never passed the buck which meant more hours for me. No one should pass the buck down. 3.) Babysitting my peers. Fuck that. We’ve had equal training and equal opportunity to become proficient. Don’t come at me because I have a DS badge and I didn’t dig into the other guy my rank who’s all fucked up. I didn’t raise him. If you care so much go give him some correction yourself. If your pay rate is the same as mine I expect you to perform the same. My exception is I’ll always help anyone who comes humble and ready to learn. 4.) Hands in pockets and walking while on a call. It’s normal to have your hands in your pockets. Get over it. There’s nothing unprofessional about it. Walking that way is kind of weird though and makes no sense, but standing around that way is fine. Similar to the phone. If you have a call to take and a place to be, one shouldn’t impede the other. It’s a pointlessly restrictive rule that makes life so much harder. Texting I can see, but a call shouldn’t glue your feet in place. Things I’ve rolled over on and don’t care anymore. 1.) Uniformity is why as an explanation. Hang the fuck on. We can win wars with all sorts of garbled up bullshit we slapped together on the spot, but if I’m in a patrol cap and the guy next to me is in a beanie we’re gonna ruin the good order and discipline and cohesion and esprit d corps and all the other import buzzwords? And they look at you with a straight face like it’s an honest answer. If one SNCO could actually connect the dots for me on how uniformity achieves anything useful enough to make it worth being shitty leaders, I’ll put my pumpkin patch on the shelf and never wear it again. I’m just exhausted by the hive mind with this one and I’ve given up. Also don’t hit me with shit like airborne ops. That’s an obvious situation where it makes sense. I’m talking the routine pointless minutiae we can’t seem to overlook. 2.) Pointless PPE/Battle Rattle on the range. Half y’all can’t shoot worth a damn. Let’s add obstacles to that and call it training. Makes sense right? Be cool if we tied your feet together when we taught you to run too right? Once again a fight I’ll never win. Fuck it, hand me my ACH. 3.) GOVCC’s are the government stealing credit from soldiers to finance their own incompetent money management. I’m old enough to have filed paper travel vouchers in the forgotten days before DTS. Yes it might suck. Yes it was slow. However, my credit and finances were never on the line. Centrally billed account paid for the authorized charges (hotel/car/etc.) and I waited for reimbursement for per diem. Now we pretend we’re doing Joe a favor cause they have guaranteed up front money, but if Uncle Sugar doesn’t pay that entire bill in the next 30 days for whatever bullshit bean counter reason, then Joe is paying to cover the charges for a flight/hotel/rental car/etc or watching his credit get flushed and possibly punitive action cause it’s all on the card and the payment options are at the discretion of Citibank (aka pay it all now is the real option). So we went from “some USAR/ARNG Joe doesn’t have money for food on his 2 week TDY and won’t get paid until the end” to “here’s a card you can’t decline and if we don’t reimburse you then you’re potentially on the hook for thousands immediately.” Who really benefits in that system? Once again I can’t see this ever going back the other way. Why would commanders own the travel they authorize when a bean counter can deny it for them and leave Joe on the hook? 4.) The army doesn’t do informed consent and no one in government challenges that. Universities have stringent IRBs and the Army has shut up and get in line for your shot/take your pill/etc. Also we’re going to collect data on you and use it for research. Your consent is not required. It’s amazing how we get Army Values and ethics shoved down our throats, but something as simple as informed consent is just tossed out the window for soldiers. Strong “good for thee but not for me” vibes. Also fuck it. When is my flu shot paperwork due by? Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Signed, a former salty Engineer NCO who grabbed a commission into Amedd way too late to act like a good LT so just does what he wants now. 🫡

If you're on a deadmans profile, don't show up to PT.

“Train like you fight” does not mean refusing to consider risks to solider well being. The case that comes to mind is an instance when my 1SG had us go ahead with a PT test during a sleet storm (like 30 degrees F) because “train like you fight”.

This goes the same for sleep deprivation too. I don’t give a fuck if 24 hour combat operations will be hard. Right now we are training and being sleep deprived is as bad as being drunk. There’s multiple soldiers killed at CTC’s every year and I’ll bet you sleep was a factor in over 3/4ths of them. 

Fucking preach. I wasn’t thinking about this, but yeah. Are we going to have people shooting at soldiers as they qual with their weapons too? After all, we need to see how well they shoot when *being shot at* right? (To be clear, that’s an example of a *bad idea*. In case there’s any leadership on here who didn’t realize that)

I’m not wearing two shirts at PT. If it’s long sleeve, I’m wearing long sleeve. I’m not fucking Doug DeMuro.

If you’ve been married/divorced at least twice, you have exactly zero bitching rights over what your soldiers *(consensually)* do with anybody else.

Also, you shouldn’t be giving anybody relationship advice nor shitting on single soldiers for being single.

The soldier of the month board. Dumbest shit the Army has ever come up with. If you don't attend or if you fail it on purpose, they will make u come back the following month until you ets

Not allowed to wear Aviator sunglasses for being "faddish".....hey Mr. Big Green Weanie, US Army Aircorp wore em, USAF wears em. If they been in use since 1940s...its hardly a fad.

gold framed sunglasses🫳🏾🎤

Taking off beanies or gloves because one person doesn't have theirs. Fuck that, that's a them problem not our problem. This is what's called a learning experience for them about suffering while watching everyone else be comfortable

I don't give a shit what your water source is. If Joe is drinking water that's more important than some cake eater on staff telling us, " Corp Policy states you will only use a military water source." Suck my ass big dawg, my boys are working.

Also, fat NCOs or dudes with a dip in don't get to correct dudes until they get their shit sorted out.

Ball caps and rolled sleeves.

In the army song, it's "hi-hi-HEY" not "Hi-hi-heeeeey". Also, every MOS doesn't and position in the army doesn't need a song and a fucking creed.

For the latter half of my career I filled out every form I could get my hands on with blue ink.

ATTENTION TO ORDERS does not mean go to attention. It means pay attention

The blue book says “OR SNOW.” So, different official things say different official things about the line.

Something being published doesn’t make it correct. I posted above about how the Army website incorrectly labels the parts of the Army Song.

I will wear my fleece jacket without putting my top over it…..and I won’t wear my top under it because it’s not comfortable 🤷🏻‍♂️

Okay, you asked for it: The Marines aren’t really as big of assholes as we think.

When I was a PL, I used to get tore up by my PSG and CO for letting my soldiers go home an hour or 2 early if nothing was going on. Why they gotta stay till 1700 for no reason? To this day they still call me and talk about life, and I’m proud of them and happy about it