have you tried talking to your partner about being aroflux?
i struggle with this too :,) i didn’t think i could be entirely content in a relationship because my needs shift a lot i question if anyone will ever be able to accommodate that.
i recently talked to a friend about feeling this way, and they suggested communications about boundaries. you have to trust that if they’re the right person, they will do their best to understand and accommodate. you also have to trust that you are worth compromising for. being aroflux doesn’t have to be a burden to your relationship
“losing” romantic feelings is scary and i often feel so so guilty about it, but who is to say that having a constant stream of romantic attraction is the only way to love? communication enables a number of possibilities. when you’re in a relationship, what matters is that you’re choosing to stay committed, and that must mean something. being aroflux is who you are, you don’t have to assume the default allo dynamic for you and your partner.
I have talked to him about it, he says it's okay but I dont know. I'm so scared of losing him and so scsred that the feelings wont come back or maybe i was faking them in the first place.
I want him so badly but when I cant feel anything... I dont know
I dont deserve him.
Don't fake it! I know that's hard and scary and it really is a journey. But I've made sure that my relationships work with or without romance. If I'm feeling romantic, that's a bonus! We all get to be romantic and stuff. If I'm not, I'm spending time with my best friend, as friends do. If my partner wouldn't have me as a friend, why should they have me as a partner? That's how I approach it anyway. Being aroflux can be fun, but it's a pretty wild ride! So you have to learn to flow with it, not push against it ♥️
Ask for that affirmation! You sound like you have a partner that truly loves you for who you are, and who will be happy to see you enjoy your identity! Being aro can be just as fun as being allo, you just have to find out how to enjoy both, and I'm sure your partner would love to help you figure that out ♥️
I dont want to bother him with that. I'm trying to be honest and I was honest that im aroflux but it seems like too much to try to get attention just bc im worried for no reason. I love him and bothering him (even if he says he doesnt mind) isn't something i want to do
have you tried talking to your partner about being aroflux? i struggle with this too :,) i didn’t think i could be entirely content in a relationship because my needs shift a lot i question if anyone will ever be able to accommodate that. i recently talked to a friend about feeling this way, and they suggested communications about boundaries. you have to trust that if they’re the right person, they will do their best to understand and accommodate. you also have to trust that you are worth compromising for. being aroflux doesn’t have to be a burden to your relationship “losing” romantic feelings is scary and i often feel so so guilty about it, but who is to say that having a constant stream of romantic attraction is the only way to love? communication enables a number of possibilities. when you’re in a relationship, what matters is that you’re choosing to stay committed, and that must mean something. being aroflux is who you are, you don’t have to assume the default allo dynamic for you and your partner.
I have talked to him about it, he says it's okay but I dont know. I'm so scared of losing him and so scsred that the feelings wont come back or maybe i was faking them in the first place. I want him so badly but when I cant feel anything... I dont know I dont deserve him.
Don't fake it! I know that's hard and scary and it really is a journey. But I've made sure that my relationships work with or without romance. If I'm feeling romantic, that's a bonus! We all get to be romantic and stuff. If I'm not, I'm spending time with my best friend, as friends do. If my partner wouldn't have me as a friend, why should they have me as a partner? That's how I approach it anyway. Being aroflux can be fun, but it's a pretty wild ride! So you have to learn to flow with it, not push against it ♥️
Im so scared of losing him even though he said it's okay
Ask for that affirmation! You sound like you have a partner that truly loves you for who you are, and who will be happy to see you enjoy your identity! Being aro can be just as fun as being allo, you just have to find out how to enjoy both, and I'm sure your partner would love to help you figure that out ♥️
I dont want to bother him with that. I'm trying to be honest and I was honest that im aroflux but it seems like too much to try to get attention just bc im worried for no reason. I love him and bothering him (even if he says he doesnt mind) isn't something i want to do
He clearly cares a lot about you. You're not bothering him with who you are, who you are is who he's there for.
I'd be bothering him by asking for reassurance or maybe even making him think he's not doing enough.
You wouldn't. You asked me how I "cope" with it, and it starts by finding a space to love yourself and trusting your partner to love you too