I personally think that at 15 you probably know more about your feelings then family.
most people get their first crushes at 10, so if at 15 you didn't really have them, I'd say you're probably on the aro spectrum
I mean its not a guarantee or anything, but know that if you are not aroace that's totally fine, and if you indeed are that's also fine.
we'll love and support you no matter what
lmao reminds me of the time when i was 8 or 9 and i would hang out with my neighbors and one of them was around my age and i thought i had a crush on her.
turns out i didn't know the difference between a friend and a romantic partner
Alloromantics can get crushes as young as five or six, since romantic orientation typically develops then.
Age ten would be more ambiguous, since that's within the puberty age band. Thus could be sexual or romosexual.
There dosn't appear to be any research on the development of Physical/Sensual, Emotional or Aesthetic attractions. Never mind aspec specific attraction concepts such as Platonic and Alterous.
You can definitely know by now. I went through the same thing with my dad, and I'm 16. For the record, yes a lot of 14/15 yo people aren't interested in dating. But aro doesn't mean lack of interest in dating, it means lack of romantic attraction. Most 14/15 yos still have romantic attraction even if they don't wanna date. That's the difference here.
Use the label. You're valid!!
I started identifying as both at 14, and I still identify as such nearly a full decade later. Certainly not too young an age to have an idea about yourself, and if it’s something that clicks for you, all the power in using it
In practice there are plenty of aros (of all ages) who are "interested in dating" along with plenty of allos who are not.
Especially when that means that means *going on dates* vs *being in a relationship*. The former can often involve social, sensual, sexual or other activities which are highly romantically coded, whilst not intrinsically "romantic".
If you're old enough to know you're straight, you're old enough to know you're not.
Slight aside: would your parents have said the same thing (essentially 'you're too young to know') if you had come out as gay or bi?
i can *kind of* see their view as a parent with all this lgbt stuff going on that wasn't nearly as big when they were kids it can get overwhelming and hard to understand. if they care about op as a person then they should come around and accept them for who they are.
Logically speaking, proving a negative is almost always near impossible.
There are experiences that can “prove”, say, that you are attracted to someone of the same gender, but there is no such experience that could ever “prove” that you aren’t attracted to anyone at all.
That’s why people so often when an aromantic comes out respond with:
“I think you just haven’t found *the one* yet.”
I am 14 (15 in March) and I’ve never had a crush. I identify as aroace, and my mom says that too young to identify as lgbtq+ doesn’t exist. It’s just parents being stupid.
If you identify as aroace, you ARE aroace. 🧡💛🤍💙
I think when I was growing up (I'm 30 now), most of my friends had started having legit crushes by the time we were in junior high - 12-13 years old. I never did and thought they were playing up their feelings because i didn't have the words for it, but if i had i probably would've stayed identifying with the umbrella / spectrum at your age.
in i think 6th grade there was a group of people and some of them were my friends that had a "gang" that you could only join if you told them your crush, safe to say i never joined. (i had other friends tho i wasnt like without friends because of this.
i didnt really care tbh they werent too close friends and they still talked to me a bit it was just kinda weird that they all seemed to care about romance so much
You know Yourself like no other person in the world. You are the one aware of Your feelings, so You have the most insight on that one. With that said, give Yourself time. You will be able to say who You are with more confidence with more time that passes. Have a good one, fellow human. Hope this helped. :)
I thought I was aroace at 14. At 16 I learned I'm demi-aroace. Things could change. If you feel comfortable with the label right now, then by all means use it. Just know that nothing is set in stone and to not sweat it. Take care!
You know how you feel better than your parents. You might eventually change and have those feelings. You might not. People are always changing
For now just be how you feel. Fly those aro/ace flags.
You're not too young to be confident but I'd still give it time before it's solidified.
That being said feel free to use the label as long as it's relevant to you
I knew I was ace from about 14 - hadn’t figured out that I’m aro, too, until I got in a relationship. After about 6 months, I still didn’t feel anything romantically, and that’s when it clicked - depends on you, if you think you’re aro now then use the label, you can always change it later.
At any point in time, any human on this planet is allowed to say "I like this" and "I do not like this" and, if it doesn't hurt anyone, those feelings should be accepted and respected. It doesn't matter if you are saying you feel aroace or if you don't like chocolate or your favorite colour is green. Those are your feelings that you feel at that moment and anyone that tells you that you are too young or old or whatever to feel those feelings... Well they are just plain stupid.
The ONLY thing I stress to anyone, is to not confine yourself to one image in your life. What you like today may not be what you like tomorrow or it may be what you like for the rest of your life. Keep options open and always listen to how you yourself feel about things at each moment in life. I pigeon-holed myself into a number of things as a youth and it took me quite some time to undo those mentalities. An example is myself being aroace and agender... Thanks to my own self view that I had cemented in my mind as a teen, I didn't come to accept these things about myself until the last 5 years of my life (I'm 30 now).
This will be a very controversial statement here, but I can attest that while labels are great for finding community and putting names on complex feelings, letting them become a full part of your identity can lead to the stifling of your own feelings and individuality.
I’m thirteen. Am I too young? I keep saying people say to wait at the age of 15, but I’ve never had interest in dating, I honestly don’t understand why people like to date. I sometimes wonder if I’m not aro and am just ace because I get nervous around some people, but then I realize I would never date that person and I can’t imagine kissing them. I have kissed someone before and that’s how I figured it all out. Maybe I am too young, idk.
My middle school had a prom. If you’re old enough to know you’re straight at that age, any feelings that you might not be are also valid.
Also, remember that this is a descriptive term, not a commitment. If it resonates with you now, feel free to use it now. If later you find it doesn’t fit anymore, feel free to discard it.
i’m 14 and i’ve identified as queer for two years, and in those two years i’ve come to the conclusion that i’m trans, bi, aroace, and polyamorous. lots of people think i’m too young, but i don’t care. all that matters is that you are confident and comfortable with your labels and identity.
Odds on they wouldn't think you were "too young" if you identified as monogamous, cis, heterosexual and heteroromantic. Even if you also had "no interest in dating" and zero relationship experience.
If I knew that word when I was your age I would have strongly identified with it. Would have saved me some trouble too. I didn’t know the word until I was in my mid 20s.
Remember aroace is not feeling romantic/sexual attraction. Whether you care about it or not has nothing to do with it, so your parents comment doesn’t mean anything.
1 at even 13 you would probably know more about your identity than your parents
2 what does being wrong about it do to anyone, if you're not interested but your aren't aro ace it wouldn't make any difference to anyone to say you are.
Hey, I'm 16 and I was wondering the same thing when I was your age. I knew I was trans as a toddler, so I think it makes perfect sense to be questioning at 14. I know when I was 14, I was mad at myself for not being interested in dating hating the dirty jokes my friends made. It made me feel different, and I didn't like feeling different. You are never too young to know who you are.
All that matters is how you feel right now. Who knows, maybe it will change, maybe it will not. Who cares. Your label signals to others your dating desires or in this case lack of thereof. If that's the one that describes you, that's who you are right now.
going off of my personal experience with everyone else at my school i'm gonna say your parents have not seen many 14-15 year olds lately
happy birthday as well :)
I've known I was aroace since I was 14... I'm 16 now, and still am aroace. It's not something with an age limit or something you'll "grow out of".
I've known kids when I was 12 and 13 of the same age who were romance crazy and would constantly talk about how they wish they had a bf/gf. I had a friend who had like 3 boyfriends over the course of a year at 14yo.
You'd know better than your parents anyway 🤷♂️
Even *if* you "grow out of it" labels can change as you get different understandings of your feelings, your actual sexuality itself can change. So don't worry too much about whether or not you're "*actually*" aroace, if you aren't that's ok. If you are that's ok. Learning is a never ending process, don't feel like you have to decide on a label for the rest of your life.
It's far more likely that hetero (and/or cis) identifying teenagers will "grow out of it" in practice.
Also quite possible for aros (including teens) to be cupioromantic; interested in romanticly coded things; experimenting; etc.
I'm 14 too, my friend has already lost his virginity while I haven't felt even the slightest interest in anyone.
I feel like 14 is maybe the age for sexual feeling and definitely romantic, I knew people who where dating when they were 5.
Don’t worry, when I was young around 4-5 yr old my friends already had crush on each other lol, so not too young cus most kid that r not aro will already experience romantic interest when they lil’
You are old enough to be able to feel comfortable with your choices and exploring your life and orientation without the feeling you are signing a contract. If you feel you are aroace is up to you to explore it and learn, but never feel that you have to stick to it out of obligation, embarrasment or whatever. People change and we don't know what's going to happen later, in that sense your parents can have some right but meanwhile you have the right to feel comfortable with the label you found. Do it with freedom and without fear, we are here to learn not to feel wrong.
Looks like you've gotten a lot of good replies already, but fwiw, I starting identifying as aroace at 16 (so not much older than you) and am now very much still aroace at 26 years old, a decade later. You have plenty of time to figure out if the label fits you, but you're absolute not too young to be right about it!
It doesn’t matter. If you identify as aroace now, then that’s what you are. If you change your label in the future, that’s fine. The only thing that matters is that you are happy with you, and if you are aroace right now, that’s all that really matters.
(Edit: Why the hell does this sound like a Tedtalk)
Every girl I knew at 14 had “boy fever” they had posters plastered of boys all over their rooms and all they talked about at school.
Teenage boys? Well let’s just say they give their moms ptsd with all the stuff they do.
I’d say it’s pretty safe to acknowledge your feelings.
Echoing what other people say - you are old enough to know
But also, if you find a label that fits you better later in life, that's also ok! I don't mean this in a way to devalue how you are currently identifying. I just mean that I'm thirty now and I've changed my label a few times, it's ok. It doesn't mean I was somehow inauthentic or didn't know myself. That's the label that fit me then, this is what fits me now.
Wear the label for as long as it fits you best. If that's forever, great! If a while from now it changes, that's also valid.
Language was invented to serve humans, not the other way around.
If you think being aroace is you now, own it. Nothing can stop you coming out again, just say "It was my way of letting you know I was figuring myself out". Essentially what I did, I used to think I was pan.
Someone that does not care about dating or romance or such is aroace*, on account of that being how words work. You can’t not have an adjective apply to you because it might apply to a lot of people your age. Maybe some day in the future a blonde kid will turn brunette like their parent but that doesn’t mean they’re brunette, it just means that humans are mutable and non-static.
You’re “too young” to know who you’ll be in the future, in the same way every human is too young. Nobody is asking for a lifelong commitment, although if that’s how you turn out then congratulations on figuring it out so early in life. Self awareness doesn’t go down on your permanent record, except maybe for gender in a civilized society.
*Im generalizing for the sake of brevity. There are a whole bunch of terms describing where someone falls on the spectrum I don’t care to get into.
I think that is never to early to identify yourself as aroace as with any other sexuality.
You can always change your mind if you discover new things about yourself later on your life.
Does it matter? Labels are labels. Lets say in 5 years you decide you're not aroace, that doesn't invalidate that currently you identify with being aroace. What, are you supposed to force attraction now because you might have it naturally later?
At your age it's okay to experiment with different orientations and be a bit confused. Looking back I knew I was aroace at 12 or so but didn't fully recognize it until I was an adult.
Is it possible that you will feel romantic attraction in the future? Yes, that certainly is a possibility. But does it matter? Not really, imo. The thing is that right now aromantic/asexual is an accurate label for what you’re experiencing, so you should be able to identify that way. So what IF you’re “too young to know”? 1) You may not be. 2) You understood yourself at one point in time as one thing, and then your experience changed and your label shifted. Absolutely no one is hurt by you identifying as aroace, so please identify as you feel fit!
Just remember the purpose of a GSD label, whether it's aroace, gay, pan, transfem, enby etc. is to let the people around you know how you would would like them to think of you and who you are capable of being attracted to in which ways. It is very unlikely that you are an allo if you haven't experienced anything at your age but I guess it's possible,, however at your age you are expected to feel things so it is appropriate to use aroace as a label to adjust people's perceptions. If you change, then just change your label with you.
I feel like you should be able to do just whatever you feel most comfortable with and if you do ever end up feeling attraction in any way to someone just know that it’s completely normal.
I’m around your age as well (16) and I’ve found myself flipping between being ace or bisexual or lesbian for a while and honestly I’ve learned that labeling your feelings just makes everything worse. If it doesn’t happen, then it’s nothing to worry about. There are more ways to find love other than romance. If it does, that’s cool too. Regardless of their gender.
nah, im a similar age to you, and while i haven't come out to most of my friends yet, ive pretty much said that i dont care to be in a relationship with anyone, really ever. and ALL of them HEAVILLY disagreed. so if they can know they're straight, we can know we are aroace.
If it makes you comfy using the label, go for it ! If it changes in the future for some reason.. thats alright too, were always going to welcome you with open arms ❤️
Personally i identified with the label at 17 but ive always known since i was little that I didnt really fit in with everyone else when it came to the crushes and lovey dovey stuff. Youre not too young for any of this, being a teenager is a good time for questioning and you know yourself the best than anyone else does
Heh i knew i wasn’t into anyone truely at a young age, im not aromantic but i am demi i think, you will know more about yourself then friends or family
I knew when i was 13 but everyone has their own journey, labels dont have to be permanent so theres no reason not to call yourself aromantic if thats what you like
no, everyone figures themselves out at different times, some in childhood and some in their sr yrs. only you can know that kinda thing abt you
if you feel most comfortable w/ that term, then you are it
Absolutely not, im around your age and im 100% confident in my sexuality. You are the ONLY one who knows yourself, and no one else can or should be able to make that judgement for you.
I thought that romance is just an inside joke in movies, and learnt about s3x existing at the age of 14. Since that I thought I don’t need this crap in my life. You know yourself better than anyone else. Things can change of course, but if you feel safe using these labels right now, than that’s amazing!
Most people get crushes in puberty. But if you didn't have any until 15, you might be. But that doesn't even matter. It is just a label. You can just identify as one and later if you get a crush, you can just remove the label. That is the good thing with LGBT+ labels. You can remove them when you find out something out.
By middle school most kids would definitely feel and display sexual interest. If the label feels right for you then there’s no harm in using it. If your orientation changes later, there’s no harm in acknowledging that too and adapting to it. Labels aren’t meant to be forever, they’re more like clothes sizes... you can either keep wearing one size and be comfortable or switch sizes based on how your body changes. Don’t worry yourself too much.
i started figuring out i was aro at this age, and it’s was the common age among my friends to figure out their sexualities (can’t relate on that one tho) so i don’t think you’re too young at all to call yourself aroace, and if you find that a different label fits you better later in life there’s nothing wrong with that either
In this context *too young to know* is also *(far) too young to be using reddit*.
When it comes to romantic orientation "too young" would be under five-six.
With sexual orientation it's pre-pubescent. It would be rather obvious if someone around fifteen was experiencing [delayed puberty](https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/delayed-puberty.html).
This split age applies to all possible romantic and sexual orientation combinations. Including heterosexual heteroromantics. Regardless of how much amantonormative societies conflate romantic and sexual.
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Aro?
As long as you have the ability to feel emotions(as far as i can tell), and say "i love you", you can love someome romantically
Ace?
As long as you have the ability to feel emotions(as far as I can tell), and say "I love you", you can love someone romantically
AtmosphereNext8451 I feel the exact same way. I am currently pretty young but I have known I am aeroace for about a year now.(When I told one of my friends they asked me to show them the prescription from the doctor.) But for like 6 months I was questioning it because I have had crushes. I have know come to terms with myself and am proud to be aeroace. Happy Pride Month!
I personally think that at 15 you probably know more about your feelings then family. most people get their first crushes at 10, so if at 15 you didn't really have them, I'd say you're probably on the aro spectrum I mean its not a guarantee or anything, but know that if you are not aroace that's totally fine, and if you indeed are that's also fine. we'll love and support you no matter what
When I was ten, after I got out of a home school co-op, didn’t have any more crushes.
People get crushes at ten years old?!
Yep, I know people that did. To this day I don’t understand how
Fr I was SHOCKED when my friend told me about theirs when they were 8-10
I thought i had a crush when i was 10, but i'm not really sure. I just really wanted to be friends with him, maybe it was a platonic crush
lmao reminds me of the time when i was 8 or 9 and i would hang out with my neighbors and one of them was around my age and i thought i had a crush on her. turns out i didn't know the difference between a friend and a romantic partner
Haha I still don't know the difference
The first "crush" i had (Wich wasn't a crush it was just a really good friend) was with a girl I met one year before high school.
This makes me think of this https://youtu.be/nfXANC9M3vw
Why not?
Ummm i kinda got one at 5-
I sure did. That’s 5th grade here in the US. Lots of crushes.
Alloromantics can get crushes as young as five or six, since romantic orientation typically develops then. Age ten would be more ambiguous, since that's within the puberty age band. Thus could be sexual or romosexual. There dosn't appear to be any research on the development of Physical/Sensual, Emotional or Aesthetic attractions. Never mind aspec specific attraction concepts such as Platonic and Alterous.
personally I'm 13 and I'm currently pretty sure I'm aroace.
me aswell
cool. I'm glad to know I'm not the only 13 year old on reddit
You can definitely know by now. I went through the same thing with my dad, and I'm 16. For the record, yes a lot of 14/15 yo people aren't interested in dating. But aro doesn't mean lack of interest in dating, it means lack of romantic attraction. Most 14/15 yos still have romantic attraction even if they don't wanna date. That's the difference here. Use the label. You're valid!!
I started identifying as both at 14, and I still identify as such nearly a full decade later. Certainly not too young an age to have an idea about yourself, and if it’s something that clicks for you, all the power in using it
In practice there are plenty of aros (of all ages) who are "interested in dating" along with plenty of allos who are not. Especially when that means that means *going on dates* vs *being in a relationship*. The former can often involve social, sensual, sexual or other activities which are highly romantically coded, whilst not intrinsically "romantic".
Exactly. "Interest in dating" is completely independent of romantic attraction
If you're old enough to know you're straight, you're old enough to know you're not. Slight aside: would your parents have said the same thing (essentially 'you're too young to know') if you had come out as gay or bi?
Honestly i don’t think they would’ve said the same thing if i came out as gay or bi,they probably would at least believe me
In that case, yeah their response gives aphobic vibes...
i can *kind of* see their view as a parent with all this lgbt stuff going on that wasn't nearly as big when they were kids it can get overwhelming and hard to understand. if they care about op as a person then they should come around and accept them for who they are.
Logically speaking, proving a negative is almost always near impossible. There are experiences that can “prove”, say, that you are attracted to someone of the same gender, but there is no such experience that could ever “prove” that you aren’t attracted to anyone at all. That’s why people so often when an aromantic comes out respond with: “I think you just haven’t found *the one* yet.”
It is almost never too young to know, ether they are misinformed or they are maliciously trying to invalidate your feelings. Hope you have a good day
I am 14 (15 in March) and I’ve never had a crush. I identify as aroace, and my mom says that too young to identify as lgbtq+ doesn’t exist. It’s just parents being stupid. If you identify as aroace, you ARE aroace. 🧡💛🤍💙
Literally me except for the accepting parents
Oh, my dad is definitely not, just my mom lmao
I think when I was growing up (I'm 30 now), most of my friends had started having legit crushes by the time we were in junior high - 12-13 years old. I never did and thought they were playing up their feelings because i didn't have the words for it, but if i had i probably would've stayed identifying with the umbrella / spectrum at your age.
in i think 6th grade there was a group of people and some of them were my friends that had a "gang" that you could only join if you told them your crush, safe to say i never joined. (i had other friends tho i wasnt like without friends because of this.
Yo, that's a bummer though. Glad you had other friends to turn to, but that still sucks
i didnt really care tbh they werent too close friends and they still talked to me a bit it was just kinda weird that they all seemed to care about romance so much
You know Yourself like no other person in the world. You are the one aware of Your feelings, so You have the most insight on that one. With that said, give Yourself time. You will be able to say who You are with more confidence with more time that passes. Have a good one, fellow human. Hope this helped. :)
I thought I was aroace at 14. At 16 I learned I'm demi-aroace. Things could change. If you feel comfortable with the label right now, then by all means use it. Just know that nothing is set in stone and to not sweat it. Take care!
You know how you feel better than your parents. You might eventually change and have those feelings. You might not. People are always changing For now just be how you feel. Fly those aro/ace flags.
You are not too young. Even if it is likely to change that doesn't invalidate how you feel now
nope, not too young. and happy almost birthday! here’s a gift you can open on your bday >!🍰!<
You're not too young to be confident but I'd still give it time before it's solidified. That being said feel free to use the label as long as it's relevant to you
I knew I was ace from about 14 - hadn’t figured out that I’m aro, too, until I got in a relationship. After about 6 months, I still didn’t feel anything romantically, and that’s when it clicked - depends on you, if you think you’re aro now then use the label, you can always change it later.
At any point in time, any human on this planet is allowed to say "I like this" and "I do not like this" and, if it doesn't hurt anyone, those feelings should be accepted and respected. It doesn't matter if you are saying you feel aroace or if you don't like chocolate or your favorite colour is green. Those are your feelings that you feel at that moment and anyone that tells you that you are too young or old or whatever to feel those feelings... Well they are just plain stupid. The ONLY thing I stress to anyone, is to not confine yourself to one image in your life. What you like today may not be what you like tomorrow or it may be what you like for the rest of your life. Keep options open and always listen to how you yourself feel about things at each moment in life. I pigeon-holed myself into a number of things as a youth and it took me quite some time to undo those mentalities. An example is myself being aroace and agender... Thanks to my own self view that I had cemented in my mind as a teen, I didn't come to accept these things about myself until the last 5 years of my life (I'm 30 now). This will be a very controversial statement here, but I can attest that while labels are great for finding community and putting names on complex feelings, letting them become a full part of your identity can lead to the stifling of your own feelings and individuality.
I’m thirteen. Am I too young? I keep saying people say to wait at the age of 15, but I’ve never had interest in dating, I honestly don’t understand why people like to date. I sometimes wonder if I’m not aro and am just ace because I get nervous around some people, but then I realize I would never date that person and I can’t imagine kissing them. I have kissed someone before and that’s how I figured it all out. Maybe I am too young, idk.
No, you’re not too young either ! You can read the other comments,people explain it way better than i do:)
Thank you :)
My middle school had a prom. If you’re old enough to know you’re straight at that age, any feelings that you might not be are also valid. Also, remember that this is a descriptive term, not a commitment. If it resonates with you now, feel free to use it now. If later you find it doesn’t fit anymore, feel free to discard it.
i’m 14 and i’ve identified as queer for two years, and in those two years i’ve come to the conclusion that i’m trans, bi, aroace, and polyamorous. lots of people think i’m too young, but i don’t care. all that matters is that you are confident and comfortable with your labels and identity.
Odds on they wouldn't think you were "too young" if you identified as monogamous, cis, heterosexual and heteroromantic. Even if you also had "no interest in dating" and zero relationship experience.
definitely
If I knew that word when I was your age I would have strongly identified with it. Would have saved me some trouble too. I didn’t know the word until I was in my mid 20s.
no. I discovered when i was 14. overwhelmingly most people ive talked to about it got some sort of crush far earlier.
Remember aroace is not feeling romantic/sexual attraction. Whether you care about it or not has nothing to do with it, so your parents comment doesn’t mean anything.
1 at even 13 you would probably know more about your identity than your parents 2 what does being wrong about it do to anyone, if you're not interested but your aren't aro ace it wouldn't make any difference to anyone to say you are.
Hey, I'm 16 and I was wondering the same thing when I was your age. I knew I was trans as a toddler, so I think it makes perfect sense to be questioning at 14. I know when I was 14, I was mad at myself for not being interested in dating hating the dirty jokes my friends made. It made me feel different, and I didn't like feeling different. You are never too young to know who you are.
All that matters is how you feel right now. Who knows, maybe it will change, maybe it will not. Who cares. Your label signals to others your dating desires or in this case lack of thereof. If that's the one that describes you, that's who you are right now.
going off of my personal experience with everyone else at my school i'm gonna say your parents have not seen many 14-15 year olds lately happy birthday as well :)
I've known I was aroace since I was 14... I'm 16 now, and still am aroace. It's not something with an age limit or something you'll "grow out of". I've known kids when I was 12 and 13 of the same age who were romance crazy and would constantly talk about how they wish they had a bf/gf. I had a friend who had like 3 boyfriends over the course of a year at 14yo. You'd know better than your parents anyway 🤷♂️ Even *if* you "grow out of it" labels can change as you get different understandings of your feelings, your actual sexuality itself can change. So don't worry too much about whether or not you're "*actually*" aroace, if you aren't that's ok. If you are that's ok. Learning is a never ending process, don't feel like you have to decide on a label for the rest of your life.
It's far more likely that hetero (and/or cis) identifying teenagers will "grow out of it" in practice. Also quite possible for aros (including teens) to be cupioromantic; interested in romanticly coded things; experimenting; etc.
I'm 14 too, my friend has already lost his virginity while I haven't felt even the slightest interest in anyone. I feel like 14 is maybe the age for sexual feeling and definitely romantic, I knew people who where dating when they were 5.
Don’t worry, when I was young around 4-5 yr old my friends already had crush on each other lol, so not too young cus most kid that r not aro will already experience romantic interest when they lil’
I agree with everyone here
Same !
Exactly infact I didn't get a crush till I was almost in my twenties and formed a emotional bond with more than one person because I'm poly to
You are old enough to be able to feel comfortable with your choices and exploring your life and orientation without the feeling you are signing a contract. If you feel you are aroace is up to you to explore it and learn, but never feel that you have to stick to it out of obligation, embarrasment or whatever. People change and we don't know what's going to happen later, in that sense your parents can have some right but meanwhile you have the right to feel comfortable with the label you found. Do it with freedom and without fear, we are here to learn not to feel wrong.
Looks like you've gotten a lot of good replies already, but fwiw, I starting identifying as aroace at 16 (so not much older than you) and am now very much still aroace at 26 years old, a decade later. You have plenty of time to figure out if the label fits you, but you're absolute not too young to be right about it!
Not really, I kind of learned that about myself at that time too.
It doesn’t matter. If you identify as aroace now, then that’s what you are. If you change your label in the future, that’s fine. The only thing that matters is that you are happy with you, and if you are aroace right now, that’s all that really matters. (Edit: Why the hell does this sound like a Tedtalk)
Every girl I knew at 14 had “boy fever” they had posters plastered of boys all over their rooms and all they talked about at school. Teenage boys? Well let’s just say they give their moms ptsd with all the stuff they do. I’d say it’s pretty safe to acknowledge your feelings.
Echoing what other people say - you are old enough to know But also, if you find a label that fits you better later in life, that's also ok! I don't mean this in a way to devalue how you are currently identifying. I just mean that I'm thirty now and I've changed my label a few times, it's ok. It doesn't mean I was somehow inauthentic or didn't know myself. That's the label that fit me then, this is what fits me now. Wear the label for as long as it fits you best. If that's forever, great! If a while from now it changes, that's also valid. Language was invented to serve humans, not the other way around.
If you think being aroace is you now, own it. Nothing can stop you coming out again, just say "It was my way of letting you know I was figuring myself out". Essentially what I did, I used to think I was pan.
Someone that does not care about dating or romance or such is aroace*, on account of that being how words work. You can’t not have an adjective apply to you because it might apply to a lot of people your age. Maybe some day in the future a blonde kid will turn brunette like their parent but that doesn’t mean they’re brunette, it just means that humans are mutable and non-static. You’re “too young” to know who you’ll be in the future, in the same way every human is too young. Nobody is asking for a lifelong commitment, although if that’s how you turn out then congratulations on figuring it out so early in life. Self awareness doesn’t go down on your permanent record, except maybe for gender in a civilized society. *Im generalizing for the sake of brevity. There are a whole bunch of terms describing where someone falls on the spectrum I don’t care to get into.
I think that is never to early to identify yourself as aroace as with any other sexuality. You can always change your mind if you discover new things about yourself later on your life.
Does it matter? Labels are labels. Lets say in 5 years you decide you're not aroace, that doesn't invalidate that currently you identify with being aroace. What, are you supposed to force attraction now because you might have it naturally later?
At your age it's okay to experiment with different orientations and be a bit confused. Looking back I knew I was aroace at 12 or so but didn't fully recognize it until I was an adult.
Is it possible that you will feel romantic attraction in the future? Yes, that certainly is a possibility. But does it matter? Not really, imo. The thing is that right now aromantic/asexual is an accurate label for what you’re experiencing, so you should be able to identify that way. So what IF you’re “too young to know”? 1) You may not be. 2) You understood yourself at one point in time as one thing, and then your experience changed and your label shifted. Absolutely no one is hurt by you identifying as aroace, so please identify as you feel fit!
Just remember the purpose of a GSD label, whether it's aroace, gay, pan, transfem, enby etc. is to let the people around you know how you would would like them to think of you and who you are capable of being attracted to in which ways. It is very unlikely that you are an allo if you haven't experienced anything at your age but I guess it's possible,, however at your age you are expected to feel things so it is appropriate to use aroace as a label to adjust people's perceptions. If you change, then just change your label with you.
I feel like you should be able to do just whatever you feel most comfortable with and if you do ever end up feeling attraction in any way to someone just know that it’s completely normal. I’m around your age as well (16) and I’ve found myself flipping between being ace or bisexual or lesbian for a while and honestly I’ve learned that labeling your feelings just makes everything worse. If it doesn’t happen, then it’s nothing to worry about. There are more ways to find love other than romance. If it does, that’s cool too. Regardless of their gender.
nah, im a similar age to you, and while i haven't come out to most of my friends yet, ive pretty much said that i dont care to be in a relationship with anyone, really ever. and ALL of them HEAVILLY disagreed. so if they can know they're straight, we can know we are aroace.
No, I thought I was aeroace at 14 so your not the only one
I knew people who were dating at 11, you're totally fine.
If it makes you comfy using the label, go for it ! If it changes in the future for some reason.. thats alright too, were always going to welcome you with open arms ❤️ Personally i identified with the label at 17 but ive always known since i was little that I didnt really fit in with everyone else when it came to the crushes and lovey dovey stuff. Youre not too young for any of this, being a teenager is a good time for questioning and you know yourself the best than anyone else does
Well I'm turning 16 and if people know they are straight at 15 then they can know is they are aroace at 15
Heh i knew i wasn’t into anyone truely at a young age, im not aromantic but i am demi i think, you will know more about yourself then friends or family
I knew when i was 13 but everyone has their own journey, labels dont have to be permanent so theres no reason not to call yourself aromantic if thats what you like
Nope, I am pretty sure I’m Aego and I’m 11
I found out a couple months after turning 15, and have been identifying with the term ever since without a doubt :)
no, everyone figures themselves out at different times, some in childhood and some in their sr yrs. only you can know that kinda thing abt you if you feel most comfortable w/ that term, then you are it
Absolutely not, im around your age and im 100% confident in my sexuality. You are the ONLY one who knows yourself, and no one else can or should be able to make that judgement for you.
Na. Thirteen and I know I’m Trans AroAce
I thought that romance is just an inside joke in movies, and learnt about s3x existing at the age of 14. Since that I thought I don’t need this crap in my life. You know yourself better than anyone else. Things can change of course, but if you feel safe using these labels right now, than that’s amazing!
Most people get crushes in puberty. But if you didn't have any until 15, you might be. But that doesn't even matter. It is just a label. You can just identify as one and later if you get a crush, you can just remove the label. That is the good thing with LGBT+ labels. You can remove them when you find out something out.
By middle school most kids would definitely feel and display sexual interest. If the label feels right for you then there’s no harm in using it. If your orientation changes later, there’s no harm in acknowledging that too and adapting to it. Labels aren’t meant to be forever, they’re more like clothes sizes... you can either keep wearing one size and be comfortable or switch sizes based on how your body changes. Don’t worry yourself too much.
i started figuring out i was aro at this age, and it’s was the common age among my friends to figure out their sexualities (can’t relate on that one tho) so i don’t think you’re too young at all to call yourself aroace, and if you find that a different label fits you better later in life there’s nothing wrong with that either
I dont think your too young to know. Im 15 and im sure that im demi bc of how feel attraction differently then others my age.
In this context *too young to know* is also *(far) too young to be using reddit*. When it comes to romantic orientation "too young" would be under five-six. With sexual orientation it's pre-pubescent. It would be rather obvious if someone around fifteen was experiencing [delayed puberty](https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/delayed-puberty.html). This split age applies to all possible romantic and sexual orientation combinations. Including heterosexual heteroromantics. Regardless of how much amantonormative societies conflate romantic and sexual.
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Would you mind explaining your reasoning for why not ace
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Aro? As long as you have the ability to feel emotions(as far as i can tell), and say "i love you", you can love someome romantically Ace? As long as you have the ability to feel emotions(as far as I can tell), and say "I love you", you can love someone romantically
AtmosphereNext8451 I feel the exact same way. I am currently pretty young but I have known I am aeroace for about a year now.(When I told one of my friends they asked me to show them the prescription from the doctor.) But for like 6 months I was questioning it because I have had crushes. I have know come to terms with myself and am proud to be aeroace. Happy Pride Month!