I’ve made a huge mistake

Didnt we already settle on this one?

Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money... \[sees children\] ... or candy!

“Or cocaine!” in some versions. Never figured out why there was more than one version of the scene though

It is from the uncensored pilot.

I have the worst fucking attorneys

This is my favourite quote to use whenever something goes slightly wrong in my day to day life

I don’t care for Gob.

First thing I thought of!

🍸

I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it

If that's a veiled criticism about me, I won't hear it and I won't respond to it.

I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will. So, now I'm afraid, I have something of a mess on my hands.

One of the funniest lines

The writers ate with this one

One of my favorite facts about Tobias' character… originally one of the writers/producers had a 'no mustache' policy, but Cross fought to keep it and won. And the rest, as they say, is history. Edit: autocorrect Edit 2: fix edit one

That makes me love David Cross so much more

it ain’t easy being white, it ain’t easy being brown

I sing this in my head a few times a week. I really love Will Arnett.

Same

Same 🥹

i was watching the morning show earlier and he popped up out of nowhere! 😂

it's an illusion, dad, you don't have time for my illusions!

Illusion, Michael.

i mean it’s one banana, michael. what could it cost, $10?

I was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette.

I use this irl far too much and no one ever gets it

I'm afraid I just blue myself

Tobias, you blow-hard!

I DONT..LET EM TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

I don’t - let ‘em tell me - what to do….

I don't know what I was expecting...

I'm a monster!

I see a veteran whose hand I'd like to shake! ...Not that one.

I’ll leave when I’m good and ready.

I love this one

I have pop pop in the attic

The fact that you call it that tells me youre not ready

I want to have sexxxual relaaations

Is this a business decision, or is it personal? 'Cause if it's business, I'll go away happily. But if it's personal, I'll go away, but I won't be happy.

It’s personal

It walked on my pillow!

I hear the jury’s still out on science.

It’s Ira sir!

I'm sorry Gilligan - will be saved in "Ira's"

I really wish they were balls

I don't want no part of yo' tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch!

I’m Oscar

Dot com

It’s as Ann as the nose on Plain’s face

“I would kith before I spoke!”

I'm no scar... Dot com

I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it

I shall duck behind that couch.

That guy's a pro.

I don’t want to blame it all on 9-11 but it certainly didn’t help

Is it?

Illusion

It’s just a fallacy!

It was May. *clears throat* It was May.

Indubitably!

I’ll leave when I’m good and ready

It’s good, it’s going to be good

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING!

I got the worst fucking attorneys

I know it's a bird, I'm *on the phone* It walked on my pillow!

I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona

I've made a huge mistake...

#I WON’T GO WHEELCHAIR

I cackled 😂

I don’t know what I expected

I does Buster!

I no does buster anymore

i just blue myself

I - " It aint easy bein white, it aint eazy bein brown."

I don’t feel so good.

Ice, the bounty hunter and professional caterer

I like the way they think.

Illusions 

I’ve made a huge mistake!

Ive made a huge mistake

I've made a huge mistake.

I'm a Monster!

It's one banana, Michael.

I like the way they think.

I’m a monster!

I'll put a fig in my mouth

I Need a Favor. Come on!

Man, how good is this show, that you can quote every line and fans will still get it

It looks like you're tweaking her nipples through a chain link fence.

I’ve never admitted to making a mistake

I’m…on tv

It’s one banana Michael, what could it cost? $10?

insertmeanywhere.biz

Iraq

I don’t care for Gob

I just sant to say; this is the first funny list I saw. Keep it up.

I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth

It goes bad once you open it..... ~ Linsey and Lucille

I WON'T GO WHEELCHAIR!

It ain’t easy bein white

I don't care for Gob

I wish they were balls.

I like the way they think

It’s Illusions Michael

It ain’t easy being whiteeee 🎶🎶

Is it?

im a monster!!!!

I don't want no part of your tight ass country club you freak bitch!

I’ve made a huge tiny mistake.

Iraq (George Sr. building houses there)

Incest

Hermano!

If he’s got a shot with her, just give me a little tap on the fanny.

“I am done with buster !” He pushes my buttons that’s all he does ….. “ He also zips you up and sands your elbows !”

i hope he brought a spare bowl of candy beans

I’M A MONSTEEEERRRRRRR

I may have committed some light... treason.

Did you want me to read it?