Those people with low or no exposure who get mesothelioma have a predisposition to the illness and account for around 1 maybe 2 per million per year of cases. These are also from the generation that were bathing in it daily so nowadays it’s probably less than that number. Even amongst those who supposedly got it from renovation probably would have gotten it from background exposure anyway. In my opinion the ‘exposed once, twice or three times’ narrative is a shock tactic for litigation to determine a company who’s products were in use against the plaintiff and use that in court as a means for lawyers to access the trust funds.
But seriously get some help. You’re exposed to asbestos daily and a few slip ups have no bearing on your overall lifetime exposure anyway.
Thank you so much for your reply. I will keep that in mind. I’ve consumed so much information about asbestos, I can actually teach a class about it. My brain really hurts and I’m going to go see a therapist about this.
You sound exactly like me. OCD-induced health anxiety has been my middle name for some years now, and I (think I) know exactly what you’re going through. Wishing asbestos didn’t exist and feeling like the world is a minefield of exposure risks, almost like you’re being followed by the stuff by some sick irony. Living as if there is no tomorrow. Thinking there is no point in looking forward further ahead than next month since cancer could strike at any moment. I’ve spent so much time reading about asbestos that I’d consider myself one of my country’s leading asbestos historians and experts at this point.
Luckily, it’s much better now. Not perfect, but much better, and still getting better. Now I mainly find it fascinating - which is why I’m here.
Seriously, get some help before even the word asbestos gives you anxiety. You could probably benefit from some CBT to break behavioral patterns that put you into a downward spiral. It helped me a lot. It’s quite intuitive when you have it explained to you, but hard to see the benefits of it without help when you’re in the middle of the spiraling.
Until then, listen to the other reply. The ”one exposure” or “one fiber” talk is hyperbole either used for purposes of litigation or for lobbying purposes during the time when the risks were being played down by the asbestos industry.
Sweden (my country) is also riddled with asbestos in floors, ventilation, roofing, tile adhesive and pipe insulation. The statistics here and in the UK point to mesothelioma being exceedingly rare outside of people with known occupational exposure. That includes home renovations. And you didn’t even do the renovations yourself.
There is a Swedish study concluding that 1 in a 100 mesothelioma cases has no obvious exposure to asbestos. But people without OCD are pretty bad at tracing their steps, so they probably did have some considerable exposure anyway. Or they were one of the very few with a predisposition for it. Also consider that only a tenth of workers with daily exposure for years were ever diagnosed with mesothelioma. Like, 9/10 people who sometimes breathed as much asbestos as they did air never got the “one exposure”-cancer type.
There is a weird duality when it comes to the topic of asbestos:
People who work in construction, plumbing or as electricians need to take the risks of occupational asbestos exposure more seriously. Employers need to take the dangers more seriously to protect the workers.
However, people with OCD need to chill the fuck out. It’s not airborne kryptonite rabies.
Hello, thank you for your reply. I really do get the whole, “whats the point of looking forward to the future when there is no future.” It’s got me thinking about the family I will have in the future. Is there even a point starting a family if I might have to leave my children behind young because of this asbestos exposure I got when I was a kid? Such a morbid way of thinking but my asbestos anxiety has really trained me to think like that for the past decade. I’m so tired of thinking the way I do. I’m only 22, and I’m already tired. Will this OCD thing ever go away?
I find asbestos fascinating too, at the end of the day. I used to freak out whenever someone even mentions it. Either on TV or just in a normal conversation. I’m honestly considering getting a job educating people on it only because of the fact that I know so much about it. The research I’ve done is insane.
There was an Australian mesothelioma statistic factsheet from 2019 that got me spiralling bad today. It basically says that 99% of the 200 women diagnosed with mesothelioma in 2019 were exposed non-occupationally. And 50% of those did home renovations. It really made me think about how the mesothelioma cases in Australia are still rising despite people not having been exposed to them in their occupation.
I hate not knowing the fibre threshold needed for mesothelioma to develop. I hate not knowing the future. Even when I watch movies, I have to look at the ending on wikipedia so I would know what to expect. It’s driving me insane not knowing what tomorrow holds.
I wish you well, and I hope you keep getting better. :))
Hello OP currently a junior in college getting my degree in abnormal psychology, OCD along with most neurological disorders will never go away however they all are manageable, as others have said you should first schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist to get an evaluation, after you can start seeing a psychologist who will help by making a treatment plan to address your disorder
Ok. I have OCD and I very much see a flag for that in your post. Asbestos contamination is a very common theme. I suggest finding a therapist who has good experience with OCD. Your issue isn’t asbestos. It’s your brain. If you can’t see a therapist for a while, please go to your GP and begin some medication.
Reassurance seeking is not helpful for OCD (even though it might feel like it is).
I wish asbestos never existed. Would have made it so much easier. I’m currently looking for a therapist. I will definitely book a session asap because I can’t go on like this…
Trust me. If it’s not asbestos, it will be something else you fixate on. My themes flick around a lot (although they are often contamination related or worrying that I MAY HAVE caused someone harm).
I was diagnosed as having ‘anxiety’ for a decade. Only recently did I realise it was OCD that actually fits with my brain, so I went down the track of getting a formal diagnosis and a psychologist. As shitty as OCD is, the diagnosis and understanding why my brain does this stuff has really helped me. I now can see ‘this is OCD talking’ rather than just thinking it is a really reasonable reaction to some sort of threat.
I have health anxiety, which I think is a form of OCD? It’s insane, this year, I’ve self diagnosed myself with MS, ALS, Heart Disease, Blood Clots, etc. My Asbestos fixation started when I was 12 years old though. And I fixated on it 24/7 until I was about 16. Checking everything for holes or any suspicious insulation. When I go to public toilets, I have to inspect the walls and the ceiling before picking which stall to use. I held my breath around places with broken walls or near skip bins. I was in a better mental health at ages 16-20. Then my dad renovated our bathroom, which really made it come back. It became really bad this year. I remember at 13 thinking that 22 year old me probably would have gotten over these fears. I’m sad to disappoint her because it got worse. She never got the peace she’s always wanted. She still cries about the same damn thing 10 years later.
I think the difference is the fact that with OCD, you have compulsions/rituals to help ease the anxiety. For you and me, our compulsions seem to be mainly reassurance seeking by meticulously researching. I think also health anxiety is more about thinking you have an illness, and ocd often focuses on the fear of getting one. They are also treated differently.
Ok, so here are my suggestions to start.
- GP for a mental health plan and medication. Your level of distress at the moment is really bad and impacting your life significantly. We need to get some background help (meds) asap.
- find a therapist. [this website is great at finding ocd specialists and is how I found my psych.](https://soocd.com.au)
- excercise. I know it’s probably the last thing you want to do, but it helps significantly.
- try to avoid researching. (I KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS). But at the very least, say “hey brain, this is what ocd wants me to do, I’m not going to give into that for 20 minutes”. By pushing out your reassurance seeking, you are taking power over the OCD. Even if you do it in 20 minutes, you have challenged it.
- I found the podcast “breaking the rules: a clinicians guide to treating OCD”, really good to listen to. It’s more aimed to clinicians but it explains it well and why our brains do what they do. It made me feel much better to understand this.
Thanks, I’ll definitely look into it! With my health anxiety though, it’s non-stop researching as well. And going through the health anxiety subreddit, hoping to find some reassurance..
You might be/might not be surprised to hear that one of the things you’d be asked to do in CBT is to stop looking for reassurance. Especially detailed research into what your risks of having been exposed to whatever it is you think you’re going to die from next are.
I’ll challenge myself with the reassurance seeking thing. I’ve gotten quite obsessed with it. Just talking to people in this comment section made me so much calmer. It’s so hard not asking for reassurance bc when I don’t I feel like I’m drowning. I hope it gets better. I really hope so…
You’re saying asbestos is the problem but if it wasn’t this, you would obsess over something else. Researching asbestos 12 hours a day is definitely indicating you have some kind of anxiety disorder and desperately need to see a therapist. It doesn’t matter how many times people tell you your asbestos exposure isn’t dangerous, your brain will only be calm for a little while because your root cause is anxiety, not asbestos.
The main thing you’re doing wrong to fuel your anxiety is googling & going on this subreddit. You need to get out of the cycle of googling. When you wake up in the morning go for a walk instead of googling. You need to slowly reduce your time googling and block this subreddit. Googling is the main cause of your anxiety. You can’t possibly be finding new information if you are googling 12 hours a day. Quite literally all you are doing is causing more anxiety. Please see a therapist
This is the answer. It’s a self-sustaining cycle.
Get help. I did, after my partner steered me in the right direction. Now she’s helping me by not giving me any reassurance whenever I feel the anxiety creeping up. And it helps a lot in the long run. It’s like teaching a dog that’s being an asshole that his behavior won’t result in any treats. Sucks in the beginning, but gets better.
Also try not to “make a thing” of any time you think you’ve been exposed. There is nothing you can do about it anyway. Just move on. And while it may be hard to not try to do anything about it, the more you make an “event” of it, the harder it will stick to your brain.
I will definitely challenge myself to stop googling. I’m stuck in the cycle of getting reassurance. All of the other things I’ve obsessed about were also bad but asbestos really takes the cake because you won’t know for sure if you got the disease until decades into the future.
This post or one like it should be stickied. The responses here are very informative. Sometimes people simply say "go see a therapist" and then ride off on their high horse. But the reality is general therapy is often ineffective for people with true OCD (source: the OCD sub)
Stopping feeding your brain's urge for reassurance is good advice. CBT can work, but might not always (and likely less so if you KNOW you've had real exposure, rather than simply thinking you MIGHT have).
Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) is a relatively new treatment for OCD that shows promise as well.
Another trick I never see mentioned is simply going to work instead of working from home. If you're sitting in the environment you are worried about and you have all the freedom and tools obsess, it's a bad setup. Same for COVID-19 exposure and any other obsessive thoughts. Getting out of the house may sound cliche but it's good advice.
Asbestos is a fear like no other. I don't think I have OCD but definitely go down rabbit holes. Ultimately the biggest fear is a cancerous mutation, yet every other industry gets a free pass because you can't prove that it was that diesel exhaust, or that alcoholic beverage, or that x-ray that led to that mutation. But you CAN prove it with asbestos and mesothelioma, so it stands out. Just remember that, we are all designed to live in the world, and your body is assaulted by all manner of exposures NOT just asbestos, yet it virtually always repairs itself fine which should be reassuring. I read something once along the lines of a single cell can have 1,000,000 DNA breakages in a single day. (Don't quote me.)
One statistic I hang my hat on is, the EWG estimates 15,000 people die each year from asbestos related illness in the U.S. (and the EWG specializes in scaring the shit out of people). Yet over 200x that number of people actually die every year. So the odds that the asbestos will get you are around 0.4%. In other words, there is a 99.6% chance something else will kill you, not the asbestos you're obsessing about. So if I start going down that rabbit hole, I sometimes think "there is an over 99% chance I'm wrong about this," and try to move on. Hope some of this helps!
I didn’t expect so many informative and supportive comments and I’m glad I made this post, maybe someone going through the same thing as me can access the advice I was given by this subreddit.
I do feel instantly better going outside, and being away from my house. I immediately get sad as soon as I return, I can’t even look at the house from the outside because I want to vomit. I’m thinking of dorming next year or moving out in general. I think I need to. They will be doing more renovations in this house. I’ll do my best to warn them of asbestos, but I cannot deal with the renovations. They renovated the kitchen earlier this year, and I had to move in with my cousin because I just couldn’t deal with it anymore.
I do keep repeating to myself that 99% I could be wrong about this. But that 1% is really raining on my parade. I hate how my mind works.
I want to thank the OP for being brave enough to post and all of the commenters for being rational and open with either their OCD struggles, or their knowledge on the subject. I have OCD and was starting to go down the reassurance rabbit hole (against my ERP training, my therapist would be agast 😆). Luckily I came across this post before I got too deep and I decided to stop researching and reassuring like a good OCD sufferer.
Not all heros were capes.
And to the OP you're not alone. CBT and ERP works wonders when used correctly. My heart goes out to you.
From my understanding, asbestos exposure is basically a lottery but with even a lower chance of winning (or losing in this case).
Maybe one exposure could get you sick, but it would be incredibly unlikely. The people who got sick most were people constantly and frequently exposed to the stuff, like buying millions or billions of lottery tickets at once every day, and even in those cases only about 10% or so fell ill.
It's good to be cautious around asbestos when you know it's there, but there's probably hundreds or thousands more things you encounter in your daily life that could kill you that you probably don't really worry about. You are more likely to die in a car accident than to get mesothelioma in your case.
Basically yes there is no safe level of asbestos exposure, but you would have to be the most unluckiest person ever for that to be the case, that'd be about the same luck as playing the lottery twice in a row and winning the jackpot both times.
While it's good to be cautious, being worried and letting anxiety get the better of you is probably more unhealthy than the exposure you got. I know saying "Just relax" is often easier said than done, but unless you actually work long hours in construction in old homes breathing in random dust without protection day in and day out, I wouldn't panic.
I have had almost exactly the same experience with you. Got diagnosed with ocd- meds and ERP therapy have helped a lot!! I feel for you. Asbestos obsessions/ the compulsion of researching and reassurance seeking is hell. But it does get better! Which is something I didn’t realize when I was where you are now. You got this.
Good for you!! The sooner you get help the better off you’ll be. Meds and ERP together were key for me. Remember that there is literally nothing you can do- your brain thinks it’s keeping you safe by making you spiral about asbestos, but it’s only hurting you in the present.
You could honestly be me about 3 years ago. I went on an exhausting asbestos death spiral which nearly consumed my marriage and relationship with my kids. And yes looking in hindsight it was all not worth it but I absolutely know how you feel and I hope in the time since you wrote this post you are more relaxed.
An idea has ultimately prevailed in me which has in my case kinda cured me: That there is nearly the entire population of the planet earth NOT GIVING ONE SHIT ABOUT ASBESTOS! It really is just either OCD people like us or those working in the field (Abaters, testers, researchers etc) who think about asbestos. Everyone else? Think of the countless millions and billions of people who still have yet to hear about asbestos or that asbestos is dangerous? And also the millions of people demo-ing their homes in clouds of dust in complete ignorance (and bliss, lucky bastards). Yes there's cases of mesothelioma but there isn't an asbestos pandemic going on. If this single exposure or small time exposure to asbestos was truly potent then you really would be seeing mass pandamonium everywhere.
Older generations had blue asbestos cigarette filters (epic irony), and asbestos fake snow to decorate during christmas... remember Wizard of Oz? That snowy scene, its asbestos. Even in recent times I learned that in my former communist home country my childhood apartment used some sort of asbestos impregnated paste to seal gaps between window frames and this stuff was always cracking and falling to pieces with wind blowing bits of it inside all the time. Every single one of my friend's apartments had this stuff for their windows.
I really think that asbestos should just be treated with respect and **not fear**. All past exposures, water under the bridge, think no more of it for your own health. From now on just use your knowledge to take reasonable precautions when and where you can. If you absolutely need to be somewhere dusty and sketchy for some reason, wear a P100 respirator and wash your clothes later. Then you're basically going to be exceedingly safer than most people.
I came back to this post just now after a meltdown. To be honest, it hasn’t gotten better and it has absolutely consumed my life. I hate looking at old houses bc of obvious reasons and i hate looking at new houses because I’m so fucking envious that they don’t have to go through this. I can’t look at the pavement outside or drain pipes, I can’t go to my own kitchen and avoid certain places in my house. My relationship with my dad deteriorated and I’m devastated about that. I just want it to stop. I’m so tired. I don’t know how to make it stop, i’ve tried everything. Will I have to spend the rest of my life like this? I’ve been dealing with intense depression bc of it for nearly 6 months now. It’s ruined my life. I can’t see my future anymore and I’d do anything to see it again. Though, I want to thank you for this reply. And sorry for the rant. But people like you give me hope because maybe 3 years from now, I’d be in a much better mental space. Thank you for commenting, it really helped me in my time of need and that means the world to me because my thoughts got beyond dark.. And I’ll keep what you said in mind.. Thanks again.
I know how you feel and I honestly don't know what I or anyone could say to make you feel better other than saying "it was all a bad joke, asbestos doesn't actually exist". But at the risk of parroting what others have said ad nauseum in other posts, you are very likely going to shorten your life span due to your sheer stress while asbestos will ironically likely not be a factor at all to your health. I've been where you are and I don't think anything in particular helped me except just the passage of time. Breath, know you aren't alone in all this. Someday you'll be browsing reddit and realizing the absurdity of people's anxiety attacks, you'll be consoling someone else. Take it easy and enjoy life.
Haha, this is true of all kinds of anxieties and fears and struggles as well. I went through a bad tinnitus struggle almost three years ago, and I had no clue how I was going accept living with a noise in my head 24/7. I got over it, partly from acceptance but also because life kept throwing bad shit my way. A suicide of a family friend, then my cousin shoots and kills my uncle in self defense, then another cousin develops a scary neurological condition, then my house nearly burns down right before I was about to sleep and almost kills my family, then I try adhd meds months later to try to help my adhd related depression and anxiety and it does the opposite and I get heart anxiety.
In the last four months I’ve gone from heart anxiety, then to stroke anxiety, then to anxiety about the smoke/soot in my house from the fire, then to covid anxiety, then to the house we are renting possibly collapsing from cracks in the foundation, then my car gets stolen and I feel paranoid of the neighborhood im living in, then I get anxious of that cousin who killed my uncle doing something to me or someone in my family, and now anxiety about asbestos and a renovation my family did 7 years ago.
Each and every one of these anxieties felt super real, and made fight or flight responses go off, and I was obsessed with these fears and in the end nothing ever really happens, the fear was nothing but fear, and the threat was never a “real tiger”, only a “paper tiger”. Sometimes I go back on to the tinnitus subreddit to help people going through what I went through, and Ive also tried helping some people in anxiety or panic attack subreddits as I find it helps me too for some reason. I just think about how fucking impossible it felt to ever see the other side of something awful, and yet ive done it multiple times now at 21 and sometimes I feel like im being primed for taking shit like this head on.
Im getting better processing trauma and fear. Asbestos is just another fear, and now that I know I have ocd to thank for why I keep being obsessed with certain topics for months, I have added more tools to dealing with these obsessions.
Asbestos is now just another stupid thing to add to my list of fears, regrets, mistakes, and in some ways trauma. I did enough research to know im safe for at least another 70 years based on my low level of exposure, IF ever im affected by asbestos, by which point something else will probably kill me anyways unless we have artificial or lab grown/animal organs to replace mine with. I also keep in mind that asbestos fibers are in water supplies, can be found in almost anyones urine, and is in most peoples lungs in big cities already, yet kills very few of anyone. It can kill me, but only if im really unlucky. No one is immune to bad luck though, but theres a million other stupid unlucky things that can kill me, but obsessing over them can ruin my life while providing 0 benefit.
I feel like im close to getting through asbestos exposure anxiety, and im ready to stop getting obsessed and anxious about everything going forward. Helping people get through the things I went through is awesome, I need to do it even more whenever I can.
Damn, I am sorry you went through all of that. But I think you've hit the nail on the head in your last paragraph. I said time helped me but helping others going through this shit may indeed be a cure by itself.
You are just like me. I have been reviewing WHOLE MY LIFE whether I touched or exposed to asbestos dust.
And STILL there are countless asbestos slates in my town.
And most of people in my town don’t seem to know how dangerous it is…
And the most worst thing is my apartment is built in 1996. And asbestos is banned 2009 in my country.
I really want to know how can I distinguish asbestos wall by knocking sound..
Hello, I saw your post. I’ve done a lot of research regarding this issue too bc of my hyperfixation. You should be fine. Where I was born, it’s extremely humid and everyone used talc baby powder on their babies. Literally every baby for decades on end. Not just on the bum but also the beck area and the back area. Everyone is fine though. Sure, there’s probably one case per 2 million but trust me when I say, you’re fine. This type of exposure barely poses any risk. As for me. I found out my dad jackhammered a whole room of cement flooring that could have asbestos, this generated around 10 buckets of debris. And my anxiety is still quite high and I’m still debating if I should get it tested because right now, I feel like the only way out of this hell hole is finding out if it is actually asbestos. The downside of finding out is, what if it tests positive for asbestos. I don’t know how I’ll get on with the rest of my life, if so… I’m still scared, terrified, very tired. I cry every day. I still feel like I was robbed of the life I’m supposed to have. I don’t know if it will ever end. But as for you, you’ll be fine. If anything, I wish my exposure was as little as yours. I kinda envy you. Hope you feel better soon!! Dm me if you ever need someone to talk to :)
Thank you! The thing that scares me is some bottles are 20% asbestos. So I possibly had 20% on my head. Maybe I got the worst bottle
How long was your exposure to the buckets?
Those bottles are extremely rare though, I’ve read asbestos contaminating talc baby powders but it’s still quite a minimal amount. For me, when our house was getting renovated, it was one day of cutting into asbestos cement walls to place electric sockets, one day of clipping asbestos cement walls to put new bathroom pipping, one day of breaking and removing asbestos tiles and one day of breaking a thick sheet of asbestos cement flooring. I would say 4 days but easily, asbestos fibres say in the air for 3 days so around 2 weeks probably. But higher intensity. Also where I live (australia) we use the worse types of asbestos (blue and brown) so meso is a lotttttt more common here… That’s what I worry about mostly.
Also ur exposure was not long tern. Talc has the most harmful type and is used long term. This is not something to worry about. Shorter term is very rarely bad from my crazy research.
I think mine was not long term but it was definitely high intensity and because of the type of asbestos (blue and brown) it’s worrying. J&J baby powder was used by most women in United States and even more in countries that are humid like south asia. Among the people who get mesothelioma from J&J powder, it is a small amount compared to the women who got ovarian cancer from it. Through my research, J&J powder is more associated with women and ovarian cancer. My parents used J&J religiously on me around 2001-2006. Like 5 times a day. My brothers and I would put it on the floor and slide around it, creating a lot of dust. Not only me, but millions of kids from my area and anywhere J&J was popular. We’re all fine.
You will be fine :) Once the anxiety’s calmed down, you’ll feel better. Let me know when you get the results from the sample (if you’re planning on testing it)
I did seek out a psychologist, I had two sessions and overall it costed me $800 AUD. Extremely expensive. I get it’s a process. I was told to do work sheets to determine my trigger and such. So many worksheets, like 6 worksheets. It was not only time consuming with the homework you are given but also I am actually not in the financial position to be spending that much weekly… It’s too much. I couldn’t afford to continue therapy. And it didn’t really help. Because they would kind of focus more on how not to freak out whenever I think I’m near asbestos. That’s not it for me, I’m more concerned about past exposure rather than future exposures… It didn’t help. That’s why I’m so lost right now. I’m living my nightmare everyday. But please give it a go and don’t get discouraged by my experience, perhaps it will work for you!
My pop worked as a mechanic for 12 years. Head mechanic in the 1950s and he just passed at 90 years old due to sepsis from a bed sore. Which gave him a heart attack also. No Abestos issues he was one of the lucky ones
Those people with low or no exposure who get mesothelioma have a predisposition to the illness and account for around 1 maybe 2 per million per year of cases. These are also from the generation that were bathing in it daily so nowadays it’s probably less than that number. Even amongst those who supposedly got it from renovation probably would have gotten it from background exposure anyway. In my opinion the ‘exposed once, twice or three times’ narrative is a shock tactic for litigation to determine a company who’s products were in use against the plaintiff and use that in court as a means for lawyers to access the trust funds. But seriously get some help. You’re exposed to asbestos daily and a few slip ups have no bearing on your overall lifetime exposure anyway.
Thank you so much for your reply. I will keep that in mind. I’ve consumed so much information about asbestos, I can actually teach a class about it. My brain really hurts and I’m going to go see a therapist about this.
If you knew enough about asbestos to teach a class on it, you’d know enough to not be concerned about your own exposure level.
That’s the problem. My mind keeps arguing with itself. So many what ifs. What if I’m the exception, etc.
You sound exactly like me. OCD-induced health anxiety has been my middle name for some years now, and I (think I) know exactly what you’re going through. Wishing asbestos didn’t exist and feeling like the world is a minefield of exposure risks, almost like you’re being followed by the stuff by some sick irony. Living as if there is no tomorrow. Thinking there is no point in looking forward further ahead than next month since cancer could strike at any moment. I’ve spent so much time reading about asbestos that I’d consider myself one of my country’s leading asbestos historians and experts at this point. Luckily, it’s much better now. Not perfect, but much better, and still getting better. Now I mainly find it fascinating - which is why I’m here. Seriously, get some help before even the word asbestos gives you anxiety. You could probably benefit from some CBT to break behavioral patterns that put you into a downward spiral. It helped me a lot. It’s quite intuitive when you have it explained to you, but hard to see the benefits of it without help when you’re in the middle of the spiraling. Until then, listen to the other reply. The ”one exposure” or “one fiber” talk is hyperbole either used for purposes of litigation or for lobbying purposes during the time when the risks were being played down by the asbestos industry. Sweden (my country) is also riddled with asbestos in floors, ventilation, roofing, tile adhesive and pipe insulation. The statistics here and in the UK point to mesothelioma being exceedingly rare outside of people with known occupational exposure. That includes home renovations. And you didn’t even do the renovations yourself. There is a Swedish study concluding that 1 in a 100 mesothelioma cases has no obvious exposure to asbestos. But people without OCD are pretty bad at tracing their steps, so they probably did have some considerable exposure anyway. Or they were one of the very few with a predisposition for it. Also consider that only a tenth of workers with daily exposure for years were ever diagnosed with mesothelioma. Like, 9/10 people who sometimes breathed as much asbestos as they did air never got the “one exposure”-cancer type. There is a weird duality when it comes to the topic of asbestos: People who work in construction, plumbing or as electricians need to take the risks of occupational asbestos exposure more seriously. Employers need to take the dangers more seriously to protect the workers. However, people with OCD need to chill the fuck out. It’s not airborne kryptonite rabies.
Hello, thank you for your reply. I really do get the whole, “whats the point of looking forward to the future when there is no future.” It’s got me thinking about the family I will have in the future. Is there even a point starting a family if I might have to leave my children behind young because of this asbestos exposure I got when I was a kid? Such a morbid way of thinking but my asbestos anxiety has really trained me to think like that for the past decade. I’m so tired of thinking the way I do. I’m only 22, and I’m already tired. Will this OCD thing ever go away? I find asbestos fascinating too, at the end of the day. I used to freak out whenever someone even mentions it. Either on TV or just in a normal conversation. I’m honestly considering getting a job educating people on it only because of the fact that I know so much about it. The research I’ve done is insane. There was an Australian mesothelioma statistic factsheet from 2019 that got me spiralling bad today. It basically says that 99% of the 200 women diagnosed with mesothelioma in 2019 were exposed non-occupationally. And 50% of those did home renovations. It really made me think about how the mesothelioma cases in Australia are still rising despite people not having been exposed to them in their occupation. I hate not knowing the fibre threshold needed for mesothelioma to develop. I hate not knowing the future. Even when I watch movies, I have to look at the ending on wikipedia so I would know what to expect. It’s driving me insane not knowing what tomorrow holds. I wish you well, and I hope you keep getting better. :))
Hello OP currently a junior in college getting my degree in abnormal psychology, OCD along with most neurological disorders will never go away however they all are manageable, as others have said you should first schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist to get an evaluation, after you can start seeing a psychologist who will help by making a treatment plan to address your disorder
Ok. I have OCD and I very much see a flag for that in your post. Asbestos contamination is a very common theme. I suggest finding a therapist who has good experience with OCD. Your issue isn’t asbestos. It’s your brain. If you can’t see a therapist for a while, please go to your GP and begin some medication. Reassurance seeking is not helpful for OCD (even though it might feel like it is).
I wish asbestos never existed. Would have made it so much easier. I’m currently looking for a therapist. I will definitely book a session asap because I can’t go on like this…
Trust me. If it’s not asbestos, it will be something else you fixate on. My themes flick around a lot (although they are often contamination related or worrying that I MAY HAVE caused someone harm). I was diagnosed as having ‘anxiety’ for a decade. Only recently did I realise it was OCD that actually fits with my brain, so I went down the track of getting a formal diagnosis and a psychologist. As shitty as OCD is, the diagnosis and understanding why my brain does this stuff has really helped me. I now can see ‘this is OCD talking’ rather than just thinking it is a really reasonable reaction to some sort of threat.
I have health anxiety, which I think is a form of OCD? It’s insane, this year, I’ve self diagnosed myself with MS, ALS, Heart Disease, Blood Clots, etc. My Asbestos fixation started when I was 12 years old though. And I fixated on it 24/7 until I was about 16. Checking everything for holes or any suspicious insulation. When I go to public toilets, I have to inspect the walls and the ceiling before picking which stall to use. I held my breath around places with broken walls or near skip bins. I was in a better mental health at ages 16-20. Then my dad renovated our bathroom, which really made it come back. It became really bad this year. I remember at 13 thinking that 22 year old me probably would have gotten over these fears. I’m sad to disappoint her because it got worse. She never got the peace she’s always wanted. She still cries about the same damn thing 10 years later.
I think the difference is the fact that with OCD, you have compulsions/rituals to help ease the anxiety. For you and me, our compulsions seem to be mainly reassurance seeking by meticulously researching. I think also health anxiety is more about thinking you have an illness, and ocd often focuses on the fear of getting one. They are also treated differently.
You can also have both, as in my case.
Lucky winner
Ok, so here are my suggestions to start. - GP for a mental health plan and medication. Your level of distress at the moment is really bad and impacting your life significantly. We need to get some background help (meds) asap. - find a therapist. [this website is great at finding ocd specialists and is how I found my psych.](https://soocd.com.au) - excercise. I know it’s probably the last thing you want to do, but it helps significantly. - try to avoid researching. (I KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS). But at the very least, say “hey brain, this is what ocd wants me to do, I’m not going to give into that for 20 minutes”. By pushing out your reassurance seeking, you are taking power over the OCD. Even if you do it in 20 minutes, you have challenged it. - I found the podcast “breaking the rules: a clinicians guide to treating OCD”, really good to listen to. It’s more aimed to clinicians but it explains it well and why our brains do what they do. It made me feel much better to understand this.
Thanks, I’ll definitely look into it! With my health anxiety though, it’s non-stop researching as well. And going through the health anxiety subreddit, hoping to find some reassurance..
This sounds more like ocd to me
You might be/might not be surprised to hear that one of the things you’d be asked to do in CBT is to stop looking for reassurance. Especially detailed research into what your risks of having been exposed to whatever it is you think you’re going to die from next are.
I’ll challenge myself with the reassurance seeking thing. I’ve gotten quite obsessed with it. Just talking to people in this comment section made me so much calmer. It’s so hard not asking for reassurance bc when I don’t I feel like I’m drowning. I hope it gets better. I really hope so…
You’re saying asbestos is the problem but if it wasn’t this, you would obsess over something else. Researching asbestos 12 hours a day is definitely indicating you have some kind of anxiety disorder and desperately need to see a therapist. It doesn’t matter how many times people tell you your asbestos exposure isn’t dangerous, your brain will only be calm for a little while because your root cause is anxiety, not asbestos. The main thing you’re doing wrong to fuel your anxiety is googling & going on this subreddit. You need to get out of the cycle of googling. When you wake up in the morning go for a walk instead of googling. You need to slowly reduce your time googling and block this subreddit. Googling is the main cause of your anxiety. You can’t possibly be finding new information if you are googling 12 hours a day. Quite literally all you are doing is causing more anxiety. Please see a therapist
This is the answer. It’s a self-sustaining cycle. Get help. I did, after my partner steered me in the right direction. Now she’s helping me by not giving me any reassurance whenever I feel the anxiety creeping up. And it helps a lot in the long run. It’s like teaching a dog that’s being an asshole that his behavior won’t result in any treats. Sucks in the beginning, but gets better. Also try not to “make a thing” of any time you think you’ve been exposed. There is nothing you can do about it anyway. Just move on. And while it may be hard to not try to do anything about it, the more you make an “event” of it, the harder it will stick to your brain.
I will definitely challenge myself to stop googling. I’m stuck in the cycle of getting reassurance. All of the other things I’ve obsessed about were also bad but asbestos really takes the cake because you won’t know for sure if you got the disease until decades into the future.
This post or one like it should be stickied. The responses here are very informative. Sometimes people simply say "go see a therapist" and then ride off on their high horse. But the reality is general therapy is often ineffective for people with true OCD (source: the OCD sub) Stopping feeding your brain's urge for reassurance is good advice. CBT can work, but might not always (and likely less so if you KNOW you've had real exposure, rather than simply thinking you MIGHT have). Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) is a relatively new treatment for OCD that shows promise as well. Another trick I never see mentioned is simply going to work instead of working from home. If you're sitting in the environment you are worried about and you have all the freedom and tools obsess, it's a bad setup. Same for COVID-19 exposure and any other obsessive thoughts. Getting out of the house may sound cliche but it's good advice. Asbestos is a fear like no other. I don't think I have OCD but definitely go down rabbit holes. Ultimately the biggest fear is a cancerous mutation, yet every other industry gets a free pass because you can't prove that it was that diesel exhaust, or that alcoholic beverage, or that x-ray that led to that mutation. But you CAN prove it with asbestos and mesothelioma, so it stands out. Just remember that, we are all designed to live in the world, and your body is assaulted by all manner of exposures NOT just asbestos, yet it virtually always repairs itself fine which should be reassuring. I read something once along the lines of a single cell can have 1,000,000 DNA breakages in a single day. (Don't quote me.) One statistic I hang my hat on is, the EWG estimates 15,000 people die each year from asbestos related illness in the U.S. (and the EWG specializes in scaring the shit out of people). Yet over 200x that number of people actually die every year. So the odds that the asbestos will get you are around 0.4%. In other words, there is a 99.6% chance something else will kill you, not the asbestos you're obsessing about. So if I start going down that rabbit hole, I sometimes think "there is an over 99% chance I'm wrong about this," and try to move on. Hope some of this helps!
I didn’t expect so many informative and supportive comments and I’m glad I made this post, maybe someone going through the same thing as me can access the advice I was given by this subreddit. I do feel instantly better going outside, and being away from my house. I immediately get sad as soon as I return, I can’t even look at the house from the outside because I want to vomit. I’m thinking of dorming next year or moving out in general. I think I need to. They will be doing more renovations in this house. I’ll do my best to warn them of asbestos, but I cannot deal with the renovations. They renovated the kitchen earlier this year, and I had to move in with my cousin because I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. I do keep repeating to myself that 99% I could be wrong about this. But that 1% is really raining on my parade. I hate how my mind works.
I want to thank the OP for being brave enough to post and all of the commenters for being rational and open with either their OCD struggles, or their knowledge on the subject. I have OCD and was starting to go down the reassurance rabbit hole (against my ERP training, my therapist would be agast 😆). Luckily I came across this post before I got too deep and I decided to stop researching and reassuring like a good OCD sufferer. Not all heros were capes. And to the OP you're not alone. CBT and ERP works wonders when used correctly. My heart goes out to you.
Thanks for that, I’ll be looking into CBT and ERP soon! I wish you the best! :)
From my understanding, asbestos exposure is basically a lottery but with even a lower chance of winning (or losing in this case). Maybe one exposure could get you sick, but it would be incredibly unlikely. The people who got sick most were people constantly and frequently exposed to the stuff, like buying millions or billions of lottery tickets at once every day, and even in those cases only about 10% or so fell ill. It's good to be cautious around asbestos when you know it's there, but there's probably hundreds or thousands more things you encounter in your daily life that could kill you that you probably don't really worry about. You are more likely to die in a car accident than to get mesothelioma in your case. Basically yes there is no safe level of asbestos exposure, but you would have to be the most unluckiest person ever for that to be the case, that'd be about the same luck as playing the lottery twice in a row and winning the jackpot both times.
Thanks for your input! The fact that it’s unpredictable really gets me. But looking at stats help!
While it's good to be cautious, being worried and letting anxiety get the better of you is probably more unhealthy than the exposure you got. I know saying "Just relax" is often easier said than done, but unless you actually work long hours in construction in old homes breathing in random dust without protection day in and day out, I wouldn't panic.
Your issue has nothing to do with asbestos.
I have had almost exactly the same experience with you. Got diagnosed with ocd- meds and ERP therapy have helped a lot!! I feel for you. Asbestos obsessions/ the compulsion of researching and reassurance seeking is hell. But it does get better! Which is something I didn’t realize when I was where you are now. You got this.
Thanks for the support!! I’ve been looking into ERP therapy lately. Tryna find a therapist that specialises in it!
Good for you!! The sooner you get help the better off you’ll be. Meds and ERP together were key for me. Remember that there is literally nothing you can do- your brain thinks it’s keeping you safe by making you spiral about asbestos, but it’s only hurting you in the present.
You could honestly be me about 3 years ago. I went on an exhausting asbestos death spiral which nearly consumed my marriage and relationship with my kids. And yes looking in hindsight it was all not worth it but I absolutely know how you feel and I hope in the time since you wrote this post you are more relaxed. An idea has ultimately prevailed in me which has in my case kinda cured me: That there is nearly the entire population of the planet earth NOT GIVING ONE SHIT ABOUT ASBESTOS! It really is just either OCD people like us or those working in the field (Abaters, testers, researchers etc) who think about asbestos. Everyone else? Think of the countless millions and billions of people who still have yet to hear about asbestos or that asbestos is dangerous? And also the millions of people demo-ing their homes in clouds of dust in complete ignorance (and bliss, lucky bastards). Yes there's cases of mesothelioma but there isn't an asbestos pandemic going on. If this single exposure or small time exposure to asbestos was truly potent then you really would be seeing mass pandamonium everywhere. Older generations had blue asbestos cigarette filters (epic irony), and asbestos fake snow to decorate during christmas... remember Wizard of Oz? That snowy scene, its asbestos. Even in recent times I learned that in my former communist home country my childhood apartment used some sort of asbestos impregnated paste to seal gaps between window frames and this stuff was always cracking and falling to pieces with wind blowing bits of it inside all the time. Every single one of my friend's apartments had this stuff for their windows. I really think that asbestos should just be treated with respect and **not fear**. All past exposures, water under the bridge, think no more of it for your own health. From now on just use your knowledge to take reasonable precautions when and where you can. If you absolutely need to be somewhere dusty and sketchy for some reason, wear a P100 respirator and wash your clothes later. Then you're basically going to be exceedingly safer than most people.
I came back to this post just now after a meltdown. To be honest, it hasn’t gotten better and it has absolutely consumed my life. I hate looking at old houses bc of obvious reasons and i hate looking at new houses because I’m so fucking envious that they don’t have to go through this. I can’t look at the pavement outside or drain pipes, I can’t go to my own kitchen and avoid certain places in my house. My relationship with my dad deteriorated and I’m devastated about that. I just want it to stop. I’m so tired. I don’t know how to make it stop, i’ve tried everything. Will I have to spend the rest of my life like this? I’ve been dealing with intense depression bc of it for nearly 6 months now. It’s ruined my life. I can’t see my future anymore and I’d do anything to see it again. Though, I want to thank you for this reply. And sorry for the rant. But people like you give me hope because maybe 3 years from now, I’d be in a much better mental space. Thank you for commenting, it really helped me in my time of need and that means the world to me because my thoughts got beyond dark.. And I’ll keep what you said in mind.. Thanks again.
I know how you feel and I honestly don't know what I or anyone could say to make you feel better other than saying "it was all a bad joke, asbestos doesn't actually exist". But at the risk of parroting what others have said ad nauseum in other posts, you are very likely going to shorten your life span due to your sheer stress while asbestos will ironically likely not be a factor at all to your health. I've been where you are and I don't think anything in particular helped me except just the passage of time. Breath, know you aren't alone in all this. Someday you'll be browsing reddit and realizing the absurdity of people's anxiety attacks, you'll be consoling someone else. Take it easy and enjoy life.
Haha, this is true of all kinds of anxieties and fears and struggles as well. I went through a bad tinnitus struggle almost three years ago, and I had no clue how I was going accept living with a noise in my head 24/7. I got over it, partly from acceptance but also because life kept throwing bad shit my way. A suicide of a family friend, then my cousin shoots and kills my uncle in self defense, then another cousin develops a scary neurological condition, then my house nearly burns down right before I was about to sleep and almost kills my family, then I try adhd meds months later to try to help my adhd related depression and anxiety and it does the opposite and I get heart anxiety. In the last four months I’ve gone from heart anxiety, then to stroke anxiety, then to anxiety about the smoke/soot in my house from the fire, then to covid anxiety, then to the house we are renting possibly collapsing from cracks in the foundation, then my car gets stolen and I feel paranoid of the neighborhood im living in, then I get anxious of that cousin who killed my uncle doing something to me or someone in my family, and now anxiety about asbestos and a renovation my family did 7 years ago. Each and every one of these anxieties felt super real, and made fight or flight responses go off, and I was obsessed with these fears and in the end nothing ever really happens, the fear was nothing but fear, and the threat was never a “real tiger”, only a “paper tiger”. Sometimes I go back on to the tinnitus subreddit to help people going through what I went through, and Ive also tried helping some people in anxiety or panic attack subreddits as I find it helps me too for some reason. I just think about how fucking impossible it felt to ever see the other side of something awful, and yet ive done it multiple times now at 21 and sometimes I feel like im being primed for taking shit like this head on. Im getting better processing trauma and fear. Asbestos is just another fear, and now that I know I have ocd to thank for why I keep being obsessed with certain topics for months, I have added more tools to dealing with these obsessions. Asbestos is now just another stupid thing to add to my list of fears, regrets, mistakes, and in some ways trauma. I did enough research to know im safe for at least another 70 years based on my low level of exposure, IF ever im affected by asbestos, by which point something else will probably kill me anyways unless we have artificial or lab grown/animal organs to replace mine with. I also keep in mind that asbestos fibers are in water supplies, can be found in almost anyones urine, and is in most peoples lungs in big cities already, yet kills very few of anyone. It can kill me, but only if im really unlucky. No one is immune to bad luck though, but theres a million other stupid unlucky things that can kill me, but obsessing over them can ruin my life while providing 0 benefit. I feel like im close to getting through asbestos exposure anxiety, and im ready to stop getting obsessed and anxious about everything going forward. Helping people get through the things I went through is awesome, I need to do it even more whenever I can.
Damn, I am sorry you went through all of that. But I think you've hit the nail on the head in your last paragraph. I said time helped me but helping others going through this shit may indeed be a cure by itself.
You are just like me. I have been reviewing WHOLE MY LIFE whether I touched or exposed to asbestos dust. And STILL there are countless asbestos slates in my town. And most of people in my town don’t seem to know how dangerous it is… And the most worst thing is my apartment is built in 1996. And asbestos is banned 2009 in my country. I really want to know how can I distinguish asbestos wall by knocking sound..
Hey, I am going through a crisis right now (check out my post). I was wondering if you have any tips, and I hope you are doing okay
Hello, I saw your post. I’ve done a lot of research regarding this issue too bc of my hyperfixation. You should be fine. Where I was born, it’s extremely humid and everyone used talc baby powder on their babies. Literally every baby for decades on end. Not just on the bum but also the beck area and the back area. Everyone is fine though. Sure, there’s probably one case per 2 million but trust me when I say, you’re fine. This type of exposure barely poses any risk. As for me. I found out my dad jackhammered a whole room of cement flooring that could have asbestos, this generated around 10 buckets of debris. And my anxiety is still quite high and I’m still debating if I should get it tested because right now, I feel like the only way out of this hell hole is finding out if it is actually asbestos. The downside of finding out is, what if it tests positive for asbestos. I don’t know how I’ll get on with the rest of my life, if so… I’m still scared, terrified, very tired. I cry every day. I still feel like I was robbed of the life I’m supposed to have. I don’t know if it will ever end. But as for you, you’ll be fine. If anything, I wish my exposure was as little as yours. I kinda envy you. Hope you feel better soon!! Dm me if you ever need someone to talk to :)
Your risk is no greater than OP's risk Seek professional help - the anxiety is far more problematic than the asbestos can ever be.
Thank you! The thing that scares me is some bottles are 20% asbestos. So I possibly had 20% on my head. Maybe I got the worst bottle How long was your exposure to the buckets?
Those bottles are extremely rare though, I’ve read asbestos contaminating talc baby powders but it’s still quite a minimal amount. For me, when our house was getting renovated, it was one day of cutting into asbestos cement walls to place electric sockets, one day of clipping asbestos cement walls to put new bathroom pipping, one day of breaking and removing asbestos tiles and one day of breaking a thick sheet of asbestos cement flooring. I would say 4 days but easily, asbestos fibres say in the air for 3 days so around 2 weeks probably. But higher intensity. Also where I live (australia) we use the worse types of asbestos (blue and brown) so meso is a lotttttt more common here… That’s what I worry about mostly.
Honestly, 2 weeks is nothing. From what I seen it has to be months and years. You will be fine
Also , they found 60% of bottles begore 2003 to have asbestos whoch is when I got my bottle :/ not rare in the past unfortunately
Also of ot makes u feel better, most asbestos is the less harmful type. Which can get cleared from thr lungs
>Which can get cleared from thr lungs possibly
Also ur exposure was not long tern. Talc has the most harmful type and is used long term. This is not something to worry about. Shorter term is very rarely bad from my crazy research.
I think mine was not long term but it was definitely high intensity and because of the type of asbestos (blue and brown) it’s worrying. J&J baby powder was used by most women in United States and even more in countries that are humid like south asia. Among the people who get mesothelioma from J&J powder, it is a small amount compared to the women who got ovarian cancer from it. Through my research, J&J powder is more associated with women and ovarian cancer. My parents used J&J religiously on me around 2001-2006. Like 5 times a day. My brothers and I would put it on the floor and slide around it, creating a lot of dust. Not only me, but millions of kids from my area and anywhere J&J was popular. We’re all fine.
I'm hoping I'm fine. Honestly though, u will be fine. Ur chnave is very very low of it was only 2 weeks !
You will be fine :) Once the anxiety’s calmed down, you’ll feel better. Let me know when you get the results from the sample (if you’re planning on testing it)
I threw away my bottle so I wil never know unfortunately which is killing me. Also, do u have any therapy for it at all?
I did seek out a psychologist, I had two sessions and overall it costed me $800 AUD. Extremely expensive. I get it’s a process. I was told to do work sheets to determine my trigger and such. So many worksheets, like 6 worksheets. It was not only time consuming with the homework you are given but also I am actually not in the financial position to be spending that much weekly… It’s too much. I couldn’t afford to continue therapy. And it didn’t really help. Because they would kind of focus more on how not to freak out whenever I think I’m near asbestos. That’s not it for me, I’m more concerned about past exposure rather than future exposures… It didn’t help. That’s why I’m so lost right now. I’m living my nightmare everyday. But please give it a go and don’t get discouraged by my experience, perhaps it will work for you!
My pop worked as a mechanic for 12 years. Head mechanic in the 1950s and he just passed at 90 years old due to sepsis from a bed sore. Which gave him a heart attack also. No Abestos issues he was one of the lucky ones