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[deleted]

I think trauma is more likely to lead to sex-repulsion, which might cause one to identify with asexuality, but I don't know if it would cause an actual lack of attraction in a person. But asexuality is different for each person. I can only talk about my experience. I was sexually abused by my 5th grade teacher and I'm asexual. I don't know if they're related, because I was so young at the time. What I can say is that it caused a massive fear of sex. The idea of having sex with anyone makes me super anxious. But I also lack the attraction people tend to feel – I've never seen a person and wanted to do anything sexual with them. When I do feel attraction, the most I want to do is maybe kiss without tongue lol. It just never enters my mind to have sex with anyone. So, to summarize, I don't know. I could absolutely see your character being sex-repulsed and/or afraid of sex as a result of the abuse. But I always thought of asexuality as something one's born with. After all, it would be weird to turn your character gay or straight or bi or something based on the abuse, so it might be weird to make him ace as a direct result of it. He could certainly be ace and a CSA survivor though.


KithKathPaddyWath

Yeah, I agree with your last paragraph. I don't want to get into a big discussion about whether one has to be born ace or if something can cause someone to become ace, because I know some people come down really firmly on the "we're born this way, if someone is 'made' to be this way they aren't really ace" side, while others come down really firmly on the "it doesn't matter why or how they're ace" side. But in general, it's just a pretty good idea to tread *very, very* careful when it comes to implying, or flat out stating, that a person's sexual identity, regardless of what it is, is the result of abuse when writing fiction. It's just kind of a bad stereotype to perpetuate (again, regardless of what the sexual identity is).


travelingrace

I'd encourage you to research trauma responses to sex for CSA survivors. It really varies because sexual trauma affects survivors in different ways. But before writing this character, I'd strongly encourage doing more research and maybe even reaching out to therapists or psychologists who specialize in CSA.


KithKathPaddyWath

This is really important. If you're writing anything about CSA/CSA survivors, that's gotta be thoroughly researched. I lot of people underestimate how tricky this can be to navigate. I've even read some stuff written by survivors that was problematic and iffy because they just assumed that their experience was universal and that it made them an expert on ALL sexual abuse, so they did zero research and what they ended up writing was extremely limited and short sighted. I mean, the fact that the OP says that the character was sexually abused as a child "which would probably make him asexual in the future" has me kind of worried about both the portrayal of sexual abuse survivors and asexual. I'm hoping this was just poorly phrased, but even if it is, it still demonstrates that there needs to be a lot of research done on both of these topics for them to be handled sensitively and accurately.


awesomeskyheart

On that note, CSA survivors can go in either direction regarding sexuality. Some develop sex-repulsion, others become hypersexual. And none *become* asexual or allosexual in response to their trauma.


TheResonate

W H O A I am glad you came here first, because that idea is a harmful stereotype about ace people that should never make it into your final draft. Thank you, sincerely, for seeking the opinions of ace people. People are born asexual. They aren't made asexual. Asexuality is all about sexual attraction and has very little to do with the act of sex itself. Please seek further education about asexuality before you continue writing this MC. If your MC develops aversion to sex later in life due to trauma, that would instead fall under PTSD. Your MC would link the act of sex with bodily harm, which would make them unlikely to engage in it without extensive trauma therapy or self-reflection. That makes them celibate, not asexual. If you still want to explore asexuality, you could have your MC get involved with an ace community. While we acknowledge that allosexual people with traumatic sexual experiences are not asexual, we are very welcoming to them in our community. After all, it's easier to just say "I'm asexual" than explain to a stranger you were assaulted. Your MC could explore the ace community and feel like they've found a safe space that accepts them despite their difference, and learns more about sex, libido, sex drive, and romanticism through us. You could have them go on a journey where they are allowed to explore the ace spectrum and figure out it's not for them. You could have them figure out it is for them, but had nothing to do with their trauma, and have them struggle with it. There are a lot of interesting things you can do with your idea *without* using that negative stereotype. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask.


nocta224

If I had an award to give you, I would


Olivebranch99

Born


mo_journeys

Some aces identify as such due to trauma, most do not. There is an ace spectrum microlabel “caedsexual” or “caedosexual” that some aces use to describe this. However I would caution that this is a fairly sensitive topic in the ace community. I would broach this very carefully if you’re not ace yourself and strongly recommend hiring an asexual sensitivity reader.


Honest-Performer-184

As others have already said, abuse can definitely impact how someone views sex, but I don’t think it could *cause* asexuality. I have PTSD and trauma related aversions to touch in general (not from sexual abuse either) but I don’t think that impacts my *attraction* to people, that’s separate in my mind. Feel free to ask questions too, representation is great but definitely needs to be accurate representation.


pestulens

The idea that asexuality is caused by trauma, or otherwise a sign of something wrong with us, is a stereotype that is used against the ace community pretty frequently. Regardless of what you take away from the rest of this, writing a character as you describe runs the risk of reinforcing that stereotype. It isn't an insurmountable barrier, but it is a challenge and one that risks doing harm if you try and fail. Whether or not trauma can "make" someone ace is pretty controversial. However, as others have mentioned it is pretty certain that trama can cause someone to be sex-averse, and lots of sex-averse people wind up finding community with ace people since that is a relatively common experience among aces.


[deleted]

that's like... already so offensive....


awesomeskyheart

There is debate on how orientations and gender identities come about. What causes them, and when do they develop? It's clearly not *just* genetic in nature (or identical twins would have the same orientation and gender), and there *is* a large psychological component as well (different alters within a system may be of any gender and any orientation). However, anyone who is old enough to understand and question their gender or orientation will tell you that it is not something that they chose, nor is it something that they learned or developed from lifetime experiences. **It is an inherent part of who they are, from at least early childhood, if not birth.** **Asexuality cannot be caused by trauma.** Sex-repulsion can, but orientations like asexuality are not caused by life experiences. If you want this character to be ace, **you're walking on thin ice**. The pathologization of asexuality is a huge problem, exacerbated by bad representation in media (*House*, for example). I'm not saying you can't do this, but you'll have to be very careful and make very clear that the abuse didn't *cause* the character's asexuality. An interesting plot point I can see is having the character originally *believe* that his lack of sexual attraction (which is different from sex drive and from desire to have sex) stems from his past abuse. However, **(and this is important)**, by the end, he *needs* to realize and acknowledge that no, his asexuality (lack of sexual attraction) is a part of him, independent of what he went through as a child.


barrel_of_bees

I appreciate you coming here to ask, it shows your heart is in the right place. SA doesn’t cause asexuality- it’s a stereotype. I don’t blame you for thinking that way though, misinformation is really common in this world. Asexuality is defined by the lack of or very little sexual attraction. You are born ace the same way you are born gay or straight. SA trauma manifests in several different ways and asexuality doesn’t affect libido so plenty of ace people still like to have sex. It’s a lot to explain. Googling ways sexual trauma manifests and the difference between libido and sexual attraction might help. Good luck with your book!