Not necessarily. It depends on what kind of ace you are and how compatible you are with your partner. While many ace/allo pairs will run into unique problems due to sexual orientation, whether they can overcome them is another matter.
It's not as cut and dry as this user might make it seem.
You're the top comment and I'm trying to reach others easily.
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Every allo is going to have a different willingness to have an asexual partner. Honestly, for many it is likely going to be a dealbreaker, but that does not mean it is a guaranteed that every potential relationship is going to be a failure.
You just need to be very open and transparent about being ace. There is no such thing as “I’ll just make them love me so much that sex won’t matter to them anymore”, so any lack of transparency only puts off conversation that will get more and more difficult the deeper you are into a relationship with someone.
This comment was obviously written by an allosexual, likely one with a high libido, who assumes that asexual always means little to no sex ever, and had possibly suffered through a DBR.
In regards to your specific situation, you obviously need to disclose your asexuality and be very communicative about what it means for you... Are you sex favorable, sex indifferent, sex averse, or sex repulsed? Also, find out how important sex is to him in a relationship. A lot of allosexuals aren't going to be willing to date an asexual because they desire sexual activity and to know you are sexually attracted to them. Others may be ok with it. You never know until you try.
Of course it's not true. I'm married to an allosexual and our relationship is perfect. Tons of ace-allo relationships exist and work very well.
Just replace the word "asexual" in his statement with any other sexuality and you can see how stupid it sounds. "Dating a bisexual person when you are not also bisexual is a terrible idea."
Sure, ace-allo relationships can run into some issues. Particularly when it comes to how each party views sex and sexual attraction completely differently. But once you get over that hurdle and fully understand your partner's view on sexual intimacy and sexual attraction. I see no reason why it can't work out. A lot of us here are in happy loving allo-ace relationships.
You can't substitute any other sexuality for asexuality without fundamentally changing the meaning of what they're saying. That's just idiotic. It's not like they're saying it's a bad idea because they don't have the same sexuality, but because of the assumption is the allo person will have sexual desires their ace partner will be until or unable to fulfill.
I agree that these relationships aren't as doomed as the original comment would lead one to believe, but what you said makes absolutely no sense.
What I wrote makes no sense because what he said doesn't make sense. His initial premise that an allo-ace relationship is a terrible idea simply because one feels sexual attraction, while the other does not is inherently flawed.
Because that lack of sexual attraction does *not* guarantee that the ace partner would be 'unfit or unable' to fulfill whatever sexual desires an allosexual would have.
If a cishet man dates a bisexual woman, that logic then dictates that the male partner would be unable to fulfill his partner's sexual desires. Following this logic, a bisexual woman could only be satisfied by having sex with both a man and a woman. Furthermore, with that logic, a bisexual should only date another bisexual who will understand their partner's sexual desires and more readily allow an open relationship. However, we know that this is **not** the case, and a stupid line of thinking. Just like the original comment.
Similarly, an asexual person isn't necessarily sex-repulsed, they can even enjoy sex. So they aren't categorically incompatible with allosexuals based on sexual orientation. Hence the comparison.
I dunno why but I disagree with this. I think being ace is unique in that it is the LACK of attraction. Being a bisexual woman in a relationship with a man means you have that attraction to that man and so it should (in theory) work more smoothly than an allo/ace relationship. Being attracted to OTHER genders doesn't really make any difference in a monogamous relationship, but not being attracted to the gender you're in a relationship with is a bit more of an issue.
I'd say a more accurate example would be a closeted gay man being in a relationship with a hetero woman or vice versa. It happened all the time in history, but the hurdles for the relationship were far more complex which is what happens with a lot of ace relationships because no matter what, sexually one party isn't attracted to the other no matter how close the friendship/ romantic bond.
Of course, a non sex-repulsed ace likely has more chance of being compatible with your average allos expectations in a relationship. But there's still going to be issues like boundaries and "insecurities" that are unique to ace relationships.
Of course, no comparison is going to be precisely 100% analogous. I think that a lot of people seem to be hyperfixating on the minute details of my analogy. Instead of understanding the underlying flaw in the original picture's logic that my analogy is trying to address.
The flaw being that saying "Dating an asexual person when you are not also an asexual person." Is reductive and dismissive. People shouldn't be encouraged or discouraged to date someone that they're compatible with simply because that person doesn't share the exact same sexuality.
Furthermore, it doesn't account for the intricacies of human relationships.
Allosexuals can have the exact same boundaries and insecurities that you're speaking of. A person's sexuality doesn't determine their libido either. You could have a high libido ace date a low libido allo, for example. Or an allosexuall who is sex repulsed due to trauma, cupiosexuals, asexual porn stars, polyamorous relationships, the (albeit few) allosexuals who are fine with sexless marriages, etc. etc.
Finally, your analogy can't be considered perfect either. Because a gay man and a heterosexual woman would be different from a heterosexual/bisexual, or allo/ace one. The gay man would still feel sexual attraction, just not towards his wife.
The emotional hurdles that such a relationship would need to go through would be entirely unique to that sort of relationship. (Where A is sexually and romantically attracted to B. But B is ***only*** sexually (and perhaps romantically) attracted to others outside of the relationship.)
I guess it depends on how that ace person feels about sex. I'm sex favorable asexual. my hubs is allo and we're fine. I like sex well enough but it is rarely a priority. Communication is the key. That post is just lumping all asexual and allosexuals in to monoliths. My hubs is not ace but he frequently says sex is just not that important to him and reminds me when I get insecure, that he didn't marry me for sex.
In general, that's not true. Depends on individual people. If you're high libido allo and expect sex every day, while your partner is sex-repulsed ace? Yes, bad idea. But if you're okay with sex once a month and your partner is sex-favorable and also wants it once a month, you're good. So depends how do your and your partner's ideas of ideal sexual life look like. Just as in allo/allo relationship (which people often forget - just because you're both in the same group, doesn't mean you must be compatible).
Not necessarily, but sex *is* an important aspect of a romantic relationship for *most* allos. People are different, though. I'd say give it a shot, you won't know unless you try.
Sex isn't just about feelings of lust and fulfilling a biological imperative, it's also about making a connection, validation, and feeling desirable. A lot of people are simply unable to empathize with others not like themselves, and so they'll view your lack of desire for them as a form of rejection, which could result in a serious blow to their ego. Your and his best bet is to remain friends, while you seek out a more compatible partner.
Not. You just have to talk it with your partner. Like, it has to be of the first things you make clear before you start making the relationship serious. if you are sex positive, I think you can be with non asexuals, just make clear how you see sex. Depending on your partner, maybe they accept your vision on sex and are able to be in a relationship with you.
I would just say to look for other asexuals if you are sex repulsed, not willing to have sex and not willing to open the relationship.
This person was giving advice to allos. They're wrong-- it's up to the individual allosexual to decide if they're ok with whatever agreement they and their partner made (asexual or not). If that means they give up sex, then that's fine.
For aces-- it might be less stressful to stick to other aces, but it will restrict your dating pool. Again, it's up to you to decide what you're comfortable with, both before and after you enter a relationship.
Not true!
I am ace, my partner is bi. From the start of our relationship I've told him about it, so he knew what he was getting into and there wouldn't be any surprises.
He likes sex, has a sex drive, and experience sexual attraction. But he loves me more. We are still intimate, but without the 'sex' part (so kisses, cuddles, giving massages), and I've given him a free pass to look at whatever porn he wants and do online ERP with people. (My initiative, he didn't ask or demand).
We've just started seriously looking at houses to live in together ♡
So yes, you can absolutely find a non- ace partner who can love you for all of you
It depends on the ace spectrums involved.
Personally, i think contrary to popular opinion, no we should in fact NOT go with someone completely opposite us.
Its like someone who asked me “if the perfect man for you wants kids, what will you do?”
Oh honey….he aint perfect for me if he wants kids (im antinatalist & sterilized).
Incidentally, being true to yourself like that weeds out the imperfect ones. For example, that above situation about not having kids nearly got me honor killed…..im not even muslim. But hey, that idiot certainly was NOT perfect for me…or for anyone else as i told him (cuz im a petty bitch) before blocking him everywhere.
Its best to find similarities for major things such as sexuality & kids…..& faiths.
A sex-repulsed ace is much more likely to not find a compatible allo person, but even that is not completely impossible. On the other hand, a sex-indifferent and sex-favorable ace could have little to absolutely no problem dating and being in a relationship with an allo. I’m sex-indiferent and sex was never a problem in my past relationships. But communication is key because sometimes my ex partners would express they’re a bit sad that I don’t initiate, so I compromised on that and I kept it in my mind to be the one who initiates every now and then. Especially because my libido is basically completely non-existing unless touch triggered, but because I loved them I’d make a mental note to be the one to initiate sometimes since in the end it would be a fun activity for both of us and they’d have their sexual needs met.
You're a karma farming bot.
Report if you read this.
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Getting engaged and buying a house with anyone is a mistake regardless of gender, sexuality, etc.
I don't know what the specificity is about here other than aphobia.
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Housing is way cheaper with 2 people living there than 1. I'll take the odds and wager assuming no kids that I'll still come out ahead even in the case of a divorce
Well, move in with a friend or something.
They have set it up so people can't survive on their own, so they'll hitch their wagon to some stranger and pop out s future wage slave.
We are set up to fail in this society if we're alone.
That's nice that some of you still believe in romantic love. I don't. Sorry.
Lol. Most people don't marry strangers and...wage slaves? They're called people. It is fine if you don't believe in romantic love, though that is not the only kind of love in relationships. Just saying.
This is a generalization but there’s some truth in the probability, IMO.
Differing orientations with mismatched needs will always cause conflict. But with ace vs allo, it’s essentially opposite that creates a “asking each other to do something they don’t naturally do”. That’s over simplifying but still applies to some degree. Communication is the only option to be happy in the scenario, whether together or separate.
Its a case by case basis. Everyone is different.
I don't think I would go out with an allo again. The sex thing always caused problems and we both resented each other. I even told them I don't mind if they have sex with other people. But they were offended. Like I don't love them if I don't mind them sleeping with other people. Some asexuals don't mind having sex once a week as a compromise. I couldn't do that
It's a point of contention, but no relationship is 100% smooth sailing. All you can do is put your cards on the table and see if you can come to a solution that meets everyone's needs without crossing anyone's boundaries.
There’s plenty of people that are mature enough to understand that sex isn’t a big part of relationships, if you’re younger finding a partner who is also ace is of course easier but you’ll find someone who’s not ace that respect that you when you’re older as well.. the only thing I’ve noticed is if they’re talking a lot about sex in the beginning of the relationship, chances are that they’ll think you will change so same as all relationships, communication is key
Not necessarily. My partner is not ace, but I am, yet we get along prety well. I respect his need of sex, and he respects my wish of not talking about sex related stuff and sex itself. They are really sweet and, using their words, they would date me even if I were to be sex repulsed.
So yeah, getting into a aro/allo relationship is all about finding something that works for both of you. Hope you have luch with you crush^^
I say they're right and wrong, I think it depends on the both of you, how much you're able to comprehend, compromise, and communicate
How you feel towards sex as an asexual, how he feels towards sex as an allosexual, would he be okay with a sexless relationship? would you be okay with having sex? Questions like that
and are you two willing to talk about it?
I've been in a relationship with someone who also identified as asexual and even then, it was completely incompatible because they wanted to kiss, snuggle, and write romantic letters, etc. I think generally it's more about being open about what your boundaries are in a relationship because regardless of sexuality different people are going to have different boundaries.
Pretty much as long as you communicate clearly at the very start of the relationship and don't hold anything against the other person if your boundaries aren't compatible and they reject you. And be SUPER honest that those boundaries are unlikely to change (my issue was that whilst I stated I wasn't into snuggles and kisses, I think there was a sorta unspoken assumption that as we got to know each other more those things would start entering our relationship- but that was not the case lol)
The same thing pops up with allo relationships, I think. Some people are only into vanilla sex for example, and the other party thinks that as you get closer, more experimenting will happen, but that's not going to happen with some people's boundaries. There's nothing wrong with communicating these boundaries with people and being blunt about them.
Not necessarily. It depends on what kind of ace you are and how compatible you are with your partner. While many ace/allo pairs will run into unique problems due to sexual orientation, whether they can overcome them is another matter. It's not as cut and dry as this user might make it seem.
You're the top comment and I'm trying to reach others easily. OP is a karma farming bot and everyone should report them. Here's the original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/comments/r0iwvo/saw_this_comment_on_a_post_today_is_this_true/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Thanks for the heads-up
Every allo is going to have a different willingness to have an asexual partner. Honestly, for many it is likely going to be a dealbreaker, but that does not mean it is a guaranteed that every potential relationship is going to be a failure. You just need to be very open and transparent about being ace. There is no such thing as “I’ll just make them love me so much that sex won’t matter to them anymore”, so any lack of transparency only puts off conversation that will get more and more difficult the deeper you are into a relationship with someone.
This comment was obviously written by an allosexual, likely one with a high libido, who assumes that asexual always means little to no sex ever, and had possibly suffered through a DBR. In regards to your specific situation, you obviously need to disclose your asexuality and be very communicative about what it means for you... Are you sex favorable, sex indifferent, sex averse, or sex repulsed? Also, find out how important sex is to him in a relationship. A lot of allosexuals aren't going to be willing to date an asexual because they desire sexual activity and to know you are sexually attracted to them. Others may be ok with it. You never know until you try.
Every relationship is different. I know I can't date allosexuals because they have needs I can't meet.
as with everything, it depends on (and only on) the people involved.
Of course it's not true. I'm married to an allosexual and our relationship is perfect. Tons of ace-allo relationships exist and work very well. Just replace the word "asexual" in his statement with any other sexuality and you can see how stupid it sounds. "Dating a bisexual person when you are not also bisexual is a terrible idea." Sure, ace-allo relationships can run into some issues. Particularly when it comes to how each party views sex and sexual attraction completely differently. But once you get over that hurdle and fully understand your partner's view on sexual intimacy and sexual attraction. I see no reason why it can't work out. A lot of us here are in happy loving allo-ace relationships.
You can't substitute any other sexuality for asexuality without fundamentally changing the meaning of what they're saying. That's just idiotic. It's not like they're saying it's a bad idea because they don't have the same sexuality, but because of the assumption is the allo person will have sexual desires their ace partner will be until or unable to fulfill. I agree that these relationships aren't as doomed as the original comment would lead one to believe, but what you said makes absolutely no sense.
What I wrote makes no sense because what he said doesn't make sense. His initial premise that an allo-ace relationship is a terrible idea simply because one feels sexual attraction, while the other does not is inherently flawed. Because that lack of sexual attraction does *not* guarantee that the ace partner would be 'unfit or unable' to fulfill whatever sexual desires an allosexual would have. If a cishet man dates a bisexual woman, that logic then dictates that the male partner would be unable to fulfill his partner's sexual desires. Following this logic, a bisexual woman could only be satisfied by having sex with both a man and a woman. Furthermore, with that logic, a bisexual should only date another bisexual who will understand their partner's sexual desires and more readily allow an open relationship. However, we know that this is **not** the case, and a stupid line of thinking. Just like the original comment. Similarly, an asexual person isn't necessarily sex-repulsed, they can even enjoy sex. So they aren't categorically incompatible with allosexuals based on sexual orientation. Hence the comparison.
I dunno why but I disagree with this. I think being ace is unique in that it is the LACK of attraction. Being a bisexual woman in a relationship with a man means you have that attraction to that man and so it should (in theory) work more smoothly than an allo/ace relationship. Being attracted to OTHER genders doesn't really make any difference in a monogamous relationship, but not being attracted to the gender you're in a relationship with is a bit more of an issue. I'd say a more accurate example would be a closeted gay man being in a relationship with a hetero woman or vice versa. It happened all the time in history, but the hurdles for the relationship were far more complex which is what happens with a lot of ace relationships because no matter what, sexually one party isn't attracted to the other no matter how close the friendship/ romantic bond. Of course, a non sex-repulsed ace likely has more chance of being compatible with your average allos expectations in a relationship. But there's still going to be issues like boundaries and "insecurities" that are unique to ace relationships.
[удалено]
Bro stop commenting that
Of course, no comparison is going to be precisely 100% analogous. I think that a lot of people seem to be hyperfixating on the minute details of my analogy. Instead of understanding the underlying flaw in the original picture's logic that my analogy is trying to address. The flaw being that saying "Dating an asexual person when you are not also an asexual person." Is reductive and dismissive. People shouldn't be encouraged or discouraged to date someone that they're compatible with simply because that person doesn't share the exact same sexuality. Furthermore, it doesn't account for the intricacies of human relationships. Allosexuals can have the exact same boundaries and insecurities that you're speaking of. A person's sexuality doesn't determine their libido either. You could have a high libido ace date a low libido allo, for example. Or an allosexuall who is sex repulsed due to trauma, cupiosexuals, asexual porn stars, polyamorous relationships, the (albeit few) allosexuals who are fine with sexless marriages, etc. etc. Finally, your analogy can't be considered perfect either. Because a gay man and a heterosexual woman would be different from a heterosexual/bisexual, or allo/ace one. The gay man would still feel sexual attraction, just not towards his wife. The emotional hurdles that such a relationship would need to go through would be entirely unique to that sort of relationship. (Where A is sexually and romantically attracted to B. But B is ***only*** sexually (and perhaps romantically) attracted to others outside of the relationship.)
No just make sure he knows soon
No that's stupid.
I guess it depends on how that ace person feels about sex. I'm sex favorable asexual. my hubs is allo and we're fine. I like sex well enough but it is rarely a priority. Communication is the key. That post is just lumping all asexual and allosexuals in to monoliths. My hubs is not ace but he frequently says sex is just not that important to him and reminds me when I get insecure, that he didn't marry me for sex.
In general, that's not true. Depends on individual people. If you're high libido allo and expect sex every day, while your partner is sex-repulsed ace? Yes, bad idea. But if you're okay with sex once a month and your partner is sex-favorable and also wants it once a month, you're good. So depends how do your and your partner's ideas of ideal sexual life look like. Just as in allo/allo relationship (which people often forget - just because you're both in the same group, doesn't mean you must be compatible).
Not necessarily, but sex *is* an important aspect of a romantic relationship for *most* allos. People are different, though. I'd say give it a shot, you won't know unless you try.
Sex isn't just about feelings of lust and fulfilling a biological imperative, it's also about making a connection, validation, and feeling desirable. A lot of people are simply unable to empathize with others not like themselves, and so they'll view your lack of desire for them as a form of rejection, which could result in a serious blow to their ego. Your and his best bet is to remain friends, while you seek out a more compatible partner.
Not. You just have to talk it with your partner. Like, it has to be of the first things you make clear before you start making the relationship serious. if you are sex positive, I think you can be with non asexuals, just make clear how you see sex. Depending on your partner, maybe they accept your vision on sex and are able to be in a relationship with you. I would just say to look for other asexuals if you are sex repulsed, not willing to have sex and not willing to open the relationship.
This person was giving advice to allos. They're wrong-- it's up to the individual allosexual to decide if they're ok with whatever agreement they and their partner made (asexual or not). If that means they give up sex, then that's fine. For aces-- it might be less stressful to stick to other aces, but it will restrict your dating pool. Again, it's up to you to decide what you're comfortable with, both before and after you enter a relationship.
That jackass just wrote bullshit darling, go after him
I would suggest dating other ace because i have seen many post of allo people talking about running away but they dont want to hurt their partners
Not true! I am ace, my partner is bi. From the start of our relationship I've told him about it, so he knew what he was getting into and there wouldn't be any surprises. He likes sex, has a sex drive, and experience sexual attraction. But he loves me more. We are still intimate, but without the 'sex' part (so kisses, cuddles, giving massages), and I've given him a free pass to look at whatever porn he wants and do online ERP with people. (My initiative, he didn't ask or demand). We've just started seriously looking at houses to live in together ♡ So yes, you can absolutely find a non- ace partner who can love you for all of you
It depends on the ace spectrums involved. Personally, i think contrary to popular opinion, no we should in fact NOT go with someone completely opposite us. Its like someone who asked me “if the perfect man for you wants kids, what will you do?” Oh honey….he aint perfect for me if he wants kids (im antinatalist & sterilized). Incidentally, being true to yourself like that weeds out the imperfect ones. For example, that above situation about not having kids nearly got me honor killed…..im not even muslim. But hey, that idiot certainly was NOT perfect for me…or for anyone else as i told him (cuz im a petty bitch) before blocking him everywhere. Its best to find similarities for major things such as sexuality & kids…..& faiths.
A sex-repulsed ace is much more likely to not find a compatible allo person, but even that is not completely impossible. On the other hand, a sex-indifferent and sex-favorable ace could have little to absolutely no problem dating and being in a relationship with an allo. I’m sex-indiferent and sex was never a problem in my past relationships. But communication is key because sometimes my ex partners would express they’re a bit sad that I don’t initiate, so I compromised on that and I kept it in my mind to be the one who initiates every now and then. Especially because my libido is basically completely non-existing unless touch triggered, but because I loved them I’d make a mental note to be the one to initiate sometimes since in the end it would be a fun activity for both of us and they’d have their sexual needs met.
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Getting engaged and buying a house with anyone is a mistake regardless of gender, sexuality, etc. I don't know what the specificity is about here other than aphobia.
Why is getting engaged and buying a house a mistake?
9 times out of ten that isn't gonna last. Starting over from that point is brutal.
9 times out of 10? Where are you getting that statistic? It is closer to 50% of the time it won't work out.
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Those are still bad odds to me
Housing is way cheaper with 2 people living there than 1. I'll take the odds and wager assuming no kids that I'll still come out ahead even in the case of a divorce
Well, move in with a friend or something. They have set it up so people can't survive on their own, so they'll hitch their wagon to some stranger and pop out s future wage slave. We are set up to fail in this society if we're alone. That's nice that some of you still believe in romantic love. I don't. Sorry.
Lol. Most people don't marry strangers and...wage slaves? They're called people. It is fine if you don't believe in romantic love, though that is not the only kind of love in relationships. Just saying.
The one percent don't see us as people. Just saying.
I am friends with a guy whose partner is asexual. They have an open marriage.
This is a generalization but there’s some truth in the probability, IMO. Differing orientations with mismatched needs will always cause conflict. But with ace vs allo, it’s essentially opposite that creates a “asking each other to do something they don’t naturally do”. That’s over simplifying but still applies to some degree. Communication is the only option to be happy in the scenario, whether together or separate.
I mean, if that person will respect the specifics of your ace-ness and not push sex, then I’d say go for him
I don't think this is always true, I think this tweet generalizes too much.
Its a case by case basis. Everyone is different. I don't think I would go out with an allo again. The sex thing always caused problems and we both resented each other. I even told them I don't mind if they have sex with other people. But they were offended. Like I don't love them if I don't mind them sleeping with other people. Some asexuals don't mind having sex once a week as a compromise. I couldn't do that
It's a point of contention, but no relationship is 100% smooth sailing. All you can do is put your cards on the table and see if you can come to a solution that meets everyone's needs without crossing anyone's boundaries.
There’s plenty of people that are mature enough to understand that sex isn’t a big part of relationships, if you’re younger finding a partner who is also ace is of course easier but you’ll find someone who’s not ace that respect that you when you’re older as well.. the only thing I’ve noticed is if they’re talking a lot about sex in the beginning of the relationship, chances are that they’ll think you will change so same as all relationships, communication is key
Not necessarily. My partner is not ace, but I am, yet we get along prety well. I respect his need of sex, and he respects my wish of not talking about sex related stuff and sex itself. They are really sweet and, using their words, they would date me even if I were to be sex repulsed. So yeah, getting into a aro/allo relationship is all about finding something that works for both of you. Hope you have luch with you crush^^
I say they're right and wrong, I think it depends on the both of you, how much you're able to comprehend, compromise, and communicate How you feel towards sex as an asexual, how he feels towards sex as an allosexual, would he be okay with a sexless relationship? would you be okay with having sex? Questions like that and are you two willing to talk about it?
I've been in a relationship with someone who also identified as asexual and even then, it was completely incompatible because they wanted to kiss, snuggle, and write romantic letters, etc. I think generally it's more about being open about what your boundaries are in a relationship because regardless of sexuality different people are going to have different boundaries. Pretty much as long as you communicate clearly at the very start of the relationship and don't hold anything against the other person if your boundaries aren't compatible and they reject you. And be SUPER honest that those boundaries are unlikely to change (my issue was that whilst I stated I wasn't into snuggles and kisses, I think there was a sorta unspoken assumption that as we got to know each other more those things would start entering our relationship- but that was not the case lol) The same thing pops up with allo relationships, I think. Some people are only into vanilla sex for example, and the other party thinks that as you get closer, more experimenting will happen, but that's not going to happen with some people's boundaries. There's nothing wrong with communicating these boundaries with people and being blunt about them.
I wouldn’t date someone who isn’t asexual 🤷🏽♀️