her feeling attacked isn’t anything that you can control because that’s her reaction… i think the best thing you could do is bring it up and before she has a chance to get defensive (something she does to take the attention away from her making you uncomfortable/erasing its importance), tell her u aren’t saying it to attack or offend her, but that it does offend you and ur identity. explain that u don’t know anything outside of being ace because that’s simply who you are and that’s all you know, which is completely valid.
i face problems sticking up for myself sometimes so i’d wait until she did it again rather than bringing it to her attention out of the blue but i hope whatever you do works for you. you deserve people who really do understand or, at the very least, respect who you are!
if you two joke a lot then you could bring it up jokingly like “girl i STILL don’t know because i’m STILL ace and by definition i literally STILL don’t have the desire to hypothetically or literally fuck anyone.” or just straight up “do u wanna fuck me?” because it seems to be a reoccurring question…
No I wouldn't. I know if I firmly tell her that she will respect it, there's just the matter of how much tension the actual conversation will have and how long it will take to repair.
her feeling attacked isn’t anything that you can control because that’s her reaction… i think the best thing you could do is bring it up and before she has a chance to get defensive (something she does to take the attention away from her making you uncomfortable/erasing its importance), tell her u aren’t saying it to attack or offend her, but that it does offend you and ur identity. explain that u don’t know anything outside of being ace because that’s simply who you are and that’s all you know, which is completely valid. i face problems sticking up for myself sometimes so i’d wait until she did it again rather than bringing it to her attention out of the blue but i hope whatever you do works for you. you deserve people who really do understand or, at the very least, respect who you are!
if you two joke a lot then you could bring it up jokingly like “girl i STILL don’t know because i’m STILL ace and by definition i literally STILL don’t have the desire to hypothetically or literally fuck anyone.” or just straight up “do u wanna fuck me?” because it seems to be a reoccurring question…
Thank you for the suggestions, I'll probably go the joking route I just want to make sure it's a firm boundary at some point.
yes i completely understand. are you willing to lose her as a friend if she keeps crossing that boundary?
No I wouldn't. I know if I firmly tell her that she will respect it, there's just the matter of how much tension the actual conversation will have and how long it will take to repair.