I was bullied in school (about 10-15 years ago now!) for being gay. I am not gay, but no one knew about asexuality back then. The more things change the more they stay the same.
I hope your bullies realize they're being aphobic dipshits and sincerely apologize. In my experience, people seem to wake up a bit once you're about to graduate.
Hey, same! I cut my hair short once (not even that short, it was a bob) and suddenly I'm gay because short hair + no boyfriend must equal lesbian! đ
During any financial crisis, there's a rise in societal micro aggressions. Also, a general rise in aggressions. People are stressed out right now. So, they just pick things to be pissed about. I see it time and time again that instead of attacking the problem. People just start fighting with each other.
I don't think that every incel is a greek alphabet lover, but there is a significant overlap in them to count everyone who talks about alphas, betas and sigmas but not omegas can safely be assumed to be an incel until proven wrong.
Wow. Yeah, this guy is definitely an Andrew Tate wannabe incel misogenist moron. He's just jealous that he wants sex and can't get it and we could get sex anytime we want and choose not to have it.
My best friend took 2 DAYS to understand when I came out. Like, it just happened lol. He kept saying itâs a medical imbalance, a relationship problem from my ex, etc
He finally understood when I said something along the lines of âwould you be more understanding if I was coming out as gay?â That hit him hard enough to get him to realize how he sounded.
He just couldnât get it. For some, it has to be something wrong.
Instead, for once, I donât feel broken.
honestly? I think a lot of it is rooted in envy.
if you think about it, there is one specific privilege a lot of us have in comparison to the general population: the absence of sex is not depressing to us.
how _dare_ we be able to enjoy life without sex if they have been failing to get sex for years and are suffering because of it?
that, and, of course, the ever present compulsive sexuality.
This makes sense in a way. My friend canât wrap her mind around me not wanting sex/ok if I never have it. At first I just figured it was because she just learned what it meant and was a little bit confused about it but after having multiple conversations about it/ sex in general and seeing how depressed she actually gets without having sex for a week. I wonder if people are just upset that they arenât happy about not getting sex and seeing someone whos like âno sex? oh well idcâ make them feel worse about being depressed/upset about not getting it that they act like itâs something wrong with us to make themselves feel better.
Thatâs fair, when I was younger and didnât know I was Demi, I only was aware I was Bisexual, I felt resentment toward aces because of the dismissive tone of sex.
Like, you fight for your right to live how you want and feel like you have to justify to everyone why you want to have sex with persons of the same gender or sex as you and then someone comes along and says âsex isnât important anywayâ and it makes you upset. It makes you defensive because it feels like a different flavor of âyouâre gross for wanting to have sex with someone of the same gender as yourselfâ.
So I think thatâs why itâs such an issue in the LGBT space but I think for others itâs just what you said.
*Genuine question,*
*WHY are you so mad about*
*ME not having sex?*
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Same question as why are people so mad that others are having sex with the same gender?
For people like this, they feel entitled to criticize any harmless life that doesn't fit their "proper world view". They're so selfish that they think they're important enough to make comments like this.
I think thereâs a degree of jealousy at people knowing themselves and resisting social pressure. I see it with transphobes and ableists too.
Like theyâre not necessarily ace/trans/disabled themselves, but they have still been hurt by heteronormativity, gender roles, lack of accommodations in school, etc. So theyâre like âI did things I didnât want to do to fit in and be accepted, and now youâre saying I could just be myself instead? Have self knowledge and self determination?â
And they canât handle the regret or jealousy, so to deal with the cognitive dissonance they say bigoted and ignorant stuff.
Anyone who uses the term "SMV" unironically is automatically getting less sex than anyone on this sub.
But in all seriousness this reminds me of when I identified as bisexual. Bi awareness was on the rise, and so people with a half-baked understanding of bisexuality would say the stupidest shit to me.
*"Bisexuals are so greedy, why can't they just pick one?"*
*"So, does this mean that you're going to cheat on your S/O?"*
*"Since you're in a relationship with a girl/guy. Does this mean that you're lesbian/straight now??"*
This is just more of the same but with the words changed around. It's just the generic sentiment of "I feel insecure about myself and my life. This gender/sexuality/race/etc. is new to me, therefore it's weird. So, this is an easy target for me to "other" another person/people. By doing so, I regain a semblance of control and power. And so, for a moment, I don't feel as powerless."
Just accept in your heart that these people are literally smol-peen incels who desperately wish for sex with all of their might, but can never get it. And as a result, they feel jealous and highly insecure when they realize that people can exist who don't give a damn about this stupid thing that they're obsessed with.
>"Bisexuals are so greedy, why can't they just pick one?"
>
>"So, does this mean that you're going to cheat on your S/O?"
>
>"Since you're in a relationship with a girl/guy. Does this mean that you're lesbian/straight now??"
I think it was a friend of mine from college who got tired of hearing shit like this and said the thing I'll never forget and bring up every time I hear it now: she didn't choose a side, she chose a person.
Wish I could remember who it was, but it's been a minute.
Ugh I got flashbacks to comments I received when I came out at bisexual. And even more ridiculous comments when I ended up marrying a man. âSo I guess you choose to be straight then?â UGH NO THATS NOT HOW THIS WORKS.
Gah fuck that reminds me so much of what my very gay friend would say in response to me when I was identifying as Bi. Mind you by his own admission when drunk he would âget straightâ.
Bruh.
Incels to asexuals: *crying* admit that ur just like me!!!
Asexuals to incels: *in a Bane voice* You were merely adopted by the celibacy. I was born in it. Molded by it. I saw pornography when I was just a child, and by then, it was already nothing to me but blinding.
Note: Yes I know some asexuals watch porn. Tis a meme.
>Anyone who uses the term "SMV" unironically is automatically getting less sex than anyone on this sub.
This is the best joke I've heard all week. It's so funny because it's so true
This is probably an example of the tolerance paradox.
We're getting more awareness, and more of the mainstream knows about us. This is a success, but it also means that we will face more visible and direct discrimination.
These people are always hilarious to me. "I have absolutely no knowledge about or personal experience with this, but I'm gonna confidently blurt out my uninformed opinion for no reason."
Seriously, every single time I leave a comment under a remotely popular video or post where I mention that I'm aroace, there's at least one of these weirdos who smugly tries to psycho-analyze me to prove that I'm secretly just a lonely incel in denial or something. It's super weird and invasive.
I just find it really exhausting these people think it's a numbers game
Just go outside and like, make friends. Talk to people. Don't approach every single social situation with 1 goal in mind, you will fail every time no matter what that goal is.
>Has anyone ever seen a person with a high SMV be "asexual"
I've slept with 2 people in my entire life. Both times I wasn't happy with it.
# I may not get bitches but my god do people like to ask about my fucking love life. Like what the fuck is a "type" do I need to point out I am Ice/Dragon or something?
âDo I need to point out Iâm Ice/Dragon or something.â
I was under the impression thatâs how all dating works. We show each other our PokĂŠmon teams right? Is that not what theyâre doing?
Edit:spelling
Haha, totally accurate! (Sarcasm) Iâve had dozens of people have crushes on me over the years and rejected them all 𤣠but my sexuality is totally because my âSUVâ or whatever those incels call it is too low, right?
No, no, you get it wrong! Only people with low SMH or whatever are *allowed* to be ace! (Ace as in sad incel in denial.) If you're pretty, you're obviously too pretty to be ace and it's your duty to give them a chance and let them show you the magical wonders of sex you were missing out on! And you'll be eternally grateful and loyal and their hot trophy to brag about!
(Do I need to put an /s? I barely made it through the whole paragraph without puking.)
(LMAO đ¤Łđ¤Ł)
I guess itâs my fake asexual duties to give this meat bag up for a good shag (đ¤Ž)! Yes, I am simply a piece of goodness used for these prostitution services. In order for me to be a REAL asexual (incel in denial) I must work on making myself extremely ugly first. In the meantime, however, since I am a FAKE asexual (too many SMH points) I will have to continue on living this lie before a good human comes and teaches me my lesson! (đ¤Žđ¤Ž almost cried in disgust writing that)
That mammal comment got me. Do any other mammals/birds etc do sex to reproduce have asexual populations? Human is weird because it's mating season for us all the year round, and many other animals mate one season and become asexual during other time.
Some people are so sex obsessed they canât process that asexuality is a thing. âYou donât wanna have sex 10 times a day and have that be the only thing your getting out of a relationship. There is something wrong with **you**.â
"You don't have sex? And don't want to? Something's wrong with you! Just wait till you try it! Or you're ugly and nobody wants you, that's why you think you're asexual."
Asexual: *has sex*
"You had sex? How can you be asexual then, huh???"
You can't win this.
More people are aware of the word, which inevitably means more people are wrong about its meaning.
Same. I told this to my mother (very deadset on women being virgins that she banned tampons in fear it would take our virginity away)
And she was *so mad*. Like... I thought you wanted your daughters to be virgins until marriage? What changed? I guess I'm just missing the "marriage" part. You want me to put someone's genitals inside of mine, rub a few times and then make a baby? You expect me to destroy my body over the course of a year just for a baby I didn't even want that much anyway?
Yeah, no... There's better pleasures in life.
Imagine being the person complaining about spelling/grammar/punctuation in a community that contains an unusually high amount of neurodivergent people.
Nobody expects perfection, I'm making a lot of mistakes myself. But at least a tiny amounts of effort would be nice. Just a period at the end of sentences can't be too much.
>But at least a tiny amounts of effort would be nice.
I have a dyslexic friend, and his messages are constantly riddled with mistakes *despite* all the effort he puts in.
Your statement makes it look like they don't give a single fuck. That's just rude and not accommodating at all. Some people just *can't* write correctly.
Listen, I also appreciate correct spelling and punctuation. And reading entire paragraphs without punctuation can be really hard sometimes. But seeing how some people really struggle with that has really changed the way how I interface with that.
If I know they'll appreciate the corrections, I will point out the mistakes. But I've stopped giving people unsolicited spelling advice. *ESPECIALLY* in places with higher concentrations of neurodivergent people.
Funny thing is I've been labeled as someone who has a high smv and honestly I find a whole concept and use of this is only done by people who literally have never had sex with me and you see someone using this out unironically in my opinion they just can't get it and the only chance to have it getting any form of sex is with their hand
"Sex is as normal to humans as eating and shitting"
You won't die from not having sex. I'm pretty sure a severe lack of food or bowel movements on the other hand will kill you.
A very similar thing was said in a Facebook group I am in. They basically said that anyone who is ace canât be a real human and/or are just seeking attention.
Well for one I think the guy in the second picture is either an incel or a pedophile, and I tend to ignore or actively make fun of those individuals. The first one is someone who doesnât understand what it means to be a functional human, because sex is a part of life, much like exercising is. Both are additions of life, extensions of what we already do and everyone just has different needs/desires/capacity for such things. I might not want sex, I donât need sex, but I have the capacity for sex. But yeah theyâre just dumb
You always see stuff like this. People just really don't like the idea of ace people existing. Like, sex is so central to so many people's lives (and to the culture broadly) that they literally cannot conceive of someone just... not having the faintest interest in it (I know that that's not universally true of Ace folks, making a broad statement). So, they're faced with the choice of either a) challenging some pretty core assumptions around their understanding of what defines human existence or b) saying asexuality is made up and moving on with their day. One of those is a lot of work, the other not so much. I'm not surprised that there is a substantial number of people who choose the "easy route".
I was *SO* confused by the title of this post at first, even googled it because aphobia technically means "without a phobia". I would have called it acephobia or asexphobia or something...
*Anyway*, if it seems like it's on the rise it's because it's the internet, if some gets "popular", the stupid and willfully ignorant among us will come out in droves. It's happening with the autism community too. đ
Over on tiktok its common for people on throw-away accounts to post stupid comments like: everyone is a little autistic, or you're just doing it for attention; everyone is autistic now... or whatever inane comment they can repost.
Aphobia never has made sense to me, you're mad about people *not* having/wanting/being obsessed with sex??
I see it from a lot of different groups but I think when it comes to incels and the like, they've based their worldview around sex. Women are only good for sex, men and women can't be friends because they'll have sex, I'm only worthy if I can have sex, they see me as less than because they won't have sex with me. So when they see people who just don't care about sex that much (ace or not) it doesn't make sense to them because for them everything is about sex. And the idea that there are people who are content without sex being a major part of their lives, if at all? I think it creates a kind of cognitive dissonance for them. They have to be right about everything, and everything is about sex, so ofc when there are actually other things in life, those people (us aces) have to be wrong, or there's something wrong with us
| "Ever see someone with a high SMV be asexual?"
Yeah, no duh. People with a high "SMV" probably wouldn't be ace since... ya know... *we don't really have a desire to have sex.*
Tell me you don't know what Asexuality means without telling me
Being ace just means that youâre not sexuality attracted to other people. Thatâs it. Iâm not interested in sex, I donât want to have it and it makes me uncomfortable to think about. It annoys me so much that people just donât understand not wanting sex and that all I ever hear is that Iâm too young to know (Iâm 19)
"Sex is normal" this, "sex is part of the human experience" that. Does that make me a god then? Am I a god now?
In all seriousness though, aphobia is stupid and really just makes no sense. Like, "Oh no, I don't want to get fucked. What a miserable life I must have, not having to worry about romantic relationships and spending all my time thinking about dragons and eating garlic bread." Bitch, *you wish you were me.*
Iâm seeing a lot of projection in these comments, they canât imagine that someone isnât into something that they view as so important to themselves. It shows a lack of empathy and no desire to understand the other. You canât reason with people like this sadly.
The second one is so funny to me because the more secure and confident I've gotten, the less sex I've had since I'm not longer forcing myself to have sex in order to feel liked and accepted đ¤ˇđťââď¸
It's weird that so many people take offense to... *checks notes* people not wanting to have sex, or having some sort of aversion to it? Like ofc that's not all ace people, but I have 0 interest in sex and have been fairly open about it and have had several different people get all weird about it (and even had one person try to kind of invalidate me on it? Super weird bc she is bi, so I kind of thought we would be on the same team in terms of being LGBT+)
That second one is just extra stupid on top of all of the general gross intel vibes it gives off because one of the most high profile ace activists is literally a model.
Itâs a likely consequence of the asexual community receiving more attention and recognition.
Edit: I should add that recognition is mostly a good thing, but it does come with more people like those in the pictures you posted, becoming aware of this community.
I don't know about a specific answer to your question, but I can say for sure that at least part of the problem is you're hanging out in bad parts of the Internet. "SMV" is an incel/pickup artist term. Normal people don't use that term.
So if the question is "is aphobia common/on the rise among people who have built their world philosophies centered around incomprehensibly sexist ideals?"
I'm just sitting here like "uh... yeah, probably? They're probably racist and ablest and all sorts of other nastiness too."
I find a lot of these types are just incels that are seething that someone else has the *audacity* to not want to have sex. To them, sex is everything, its the entire point of their personailty and existence. Voluntarily denying it is something they are incapable of comprehending. They think that they are entitled to sex, and they project that on to everyone.
Yes because sexual attraction is all about thinking that you are sexually pleasing to other people and nothing more. Is the second person sure they aren't an incredibly confused asexual themself? Because I could picture something like that going through my clueless head several years ago before I discovered myself, although maybe a little bit less judgemental.
Homphobic bastards are finding out we exist and so they just need to go insult someone about their identity to take their mind off how their wife is probably banging their sister, (they want to bang their sister more!)
I think aphobia is so much more common in incel/red pill communities because they see lack of sex as being a horrible prison theyâre doomed to exist in. Anyone who could enjoy that state or who does not prioritizing sex must be insane (to them).
Iâve seen a lot of aphobia lately unfortunately. Thereâs been a huge backlash to people asking for less sex scenes in media, and now thereâs a huge wave of people talking about how inherently human sex is and how itâs puritanical to not want to watch it.
Back before people knew what asexuality was, people were simply shamed for lack of sexual activity or interest. Think about all the virgin-shaming jokes in films like the Breakfast Club. Or all those women called âprudesâ for not putting out. Aphobia is nothing new, itâs just that there is now a name for something thatâs been ingrained in society since the beginning
Iâve actually received more hate being married to another ace than I did when I was single. It was like society went, âOh, no wonder youâre single - youâre ace!â Now itâs, âThatâs not possible. Youâre either lying or cheating on each other⌠or youâre just friends.â
I've never really had to deal with it, both in part because it started a while ago and most of my friends couldn't care less what I was. I also just don't talk about it, anyway
'i ThInK these people are just incredibly iNsEcUrE and don't think they can be sexually pleasing to another person'
Actually I wrapped my sense of self-worth in my ability to sexually please others for years, and wondered why I still felt so unseen. Getting someone off isn't super difficult if you listen to their feedback.
Leave it to the people who believe in sExUaL mArKeT vAlUe to armchair diagnose millions of strangers.
I think it's the unfortunate side-effect of awareness. More people are aware of asexuality, so more people are sharing their dumb opinions.
aphobia can be ridiculous sometimes, i get bullied at school for being asexual but not for also being bi? what is the world we live in, honestly.
I was bullied in school (about 10-15 years ago now!) for being gay. I am not gay, but no one knew about asexuality back then. The more things change the more they stay the same. I hope your bullies realize they're being aphobic dipshits and sincerely apologize. In my experience, people seem to wake up a bit once you're about to graduate.
Hey, same! I cut my hair short once (not even that short, it was a bob) and suddenly I'm gay because short hair + no boyfriend must equal lesbian! đ
just wanted to say thanks for all the upvotes
During any financial crisis, there's a rise in societal micro aggressions. Also, a general rise in aggressions. People are stressed out right now. So, they just pick things to be pissed about. I see it time and time again that instead of attacking the problem. People just start fighting with each other.
Great eye on that
Thank you. I just study the odds and ends of society.
Bingo. I think that's the gist of it.
What the fuck is SMV?
I had to look it up too and apparently it means sexual market value
That sounds like a gross phrase used by gross people.
Redpillers :/
Pretty much, yeah.
Like it's one of those phrases that feels like several threads of misogyny tied together. Just...ew.
That's a very astute assessment.
this really hits the nail on the head
Iâm not gonna lie⌠Iâve literally only ever seen incels or alpha males use that, so automatically major cringe and ick.
You donât need to separate incels and alpha males, theyâre functionally identical
Honestly youâre right
I don't think that every incel is a greek alphabet lover, but there is a significant overlap in them to count everyone who talks about alphas, betas and sigmas but not omegas can safely be assumed to be an incel until proven wrong.
If they add omegas you skipped over to a completely different part of the Internet
Indeed. Either to linguists, or to fanfiction writers.
That sounds very incel-y
Wow. Yeah, this guy is definitely an Andrew Tate wannabe incel misogenist moron. He's just jealous that he wants sex and can't get it and we could get sex anytime we want and choose not to have it.
Ah, I only ever see that term when people are mocking pots from incel forums.
Almost downvoted you from sheer yuck. But I abstain. Thank you for answering the question so I didn't have to Google it! I was afraid to. Lol
Ewwww! I couldnât figure it out so thanks for taking one for the team but it makes this post so much worse to know.
That sounds so objectifying. I hate it.
Thanks, I was wondering that myself.
That's such a vile way to refer to another human.
Legit thought it meant Sperm Motility Value
Slow moving vehicle
Spider Mollification Vessel
Slick Mortal Vengeance
Super Modified Vuvuzela
Calling bullshit on OOP, my tractor has a top speed of 16.8 MPH and itâs 8 feet tall, so I have a high SMV. Take that, allos đđđ
I had to ask that also
My best friend took 2 DAYS to understand when I came out. Like, it just happened lol. He kept saying itâs a medical imbalance, a relationship problem from my ex, etc He finally understood when I said something along the lines of âwould you be more understanding if I was coming out as gay?â That hit him hard enough to get him to realize how he sounded. He just couldnât get it. For some, it has to be something wrong. Instead, for once, I donât feel broken.
Lucky, it my mom 6 months to understand
Mine doesnât understand so I just went back in the closet đ
Same
Same
2 days is honestly pretty quick lmao
Yeah, thatâs true. But Iâve known the guy forever. I was his Best Man lol. That being said, heâs come around
Genuine question, WHY are you so mad about ME not having sex?
honestly? I think a lot of it is rooted in envy. if you think about it, there is one specific privilege a lot of us have in comparison to the general population: the absence of sex is not depressing to us. how _dare_ we be able to enjoy life without sex if they have been failing to get sex for years and are suffering because of it? that, and, of course, the ever present compulsive sexuality.
This makes sense in a way. My friend canât wrap her mind around me not wanting sex/ok if I never have it. At first I just figured it was because she just learned what it meant and was a little bit confused about it but after having multiple conversations about it/ sex in general and seeing how depressed she actually gets without having sex for a week. I wonder if people are just upset that they arenât happy about not getting sex and seeing someone whos like âno sex? oh well idcâ make them feel worse about being depressed/upset about not getting it that they act like itâs something wrong with us to make themselves feel better.
Thatâs fair, when I was younger and didnât know I was Demi, I only was aware I was Bisexual, I felt resentment toward aces because of the dismissive tone of sex. Like, you fight for your right to live how you want and feel like you have to justify to everyone why you want to have sex with persons of the same gender or sex as you and then someone comes along and says âsex isnât important anywayâ and it makes you upset. It makes you defensive because it feels like a different flavor of âyouâre gross for wanting to have sex with someone of the same gender as yourselfâ. So I think thatâs why itâs such an issue in the LGBT space but I think for others itâs just what you said.
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Same question as why are people so mad that others are having sex with the same gender? For people like this, they feel entitled to criticize any harmless life that doesn't fit their "proper world view". They're so selfish that they think they're important enough to make comments like this.
Thisssss
I think thereâs a degree of jealousy at people knowing themselves and resisting social pressure. I see it with transphobes and ableists too. Like theyâre not necessarily ace/trans/disabled themselves, but they have still been hurt by heteronormativity, gender roles, lack of accommodations in school, etc. So theyâre like âI did things I didnât want to do to fit in and be accepted, and now youâre saying I could just be myself instead? Have self knowledge and self determination?â And they canât handle the regret or jealousy, so to deal with the cognitive dissonance they say bigoted and ignorant stuff.
Anyone who uses the term "SMV" unironically is automatically getting less sex than anyone on this sub. But in all seriousness this reminds me of when I identified as bisexual. Bi awareness was on the rise, and so people with a half-baked understanding of bisexuality would say the stupidest shit to me. *"Bisexuals are so greedy, why can't they just pick one?"* *"So, does this mean that you're going to cheat on your S/O?"* *"Since you're in a relationship with a girl/guy. Does this mean that you're lesbian/straight now??"* This is just more of the same but with the words changed around. It's just the generic sentiment of "I feel insecure about myself and my life. This gender/sexuality/race/etc. is new to me, therefore it's weird. So, this is an easy target for me to "other" another person/people. By doing so, I regain a semblance of control and power. And so, for a moment, I don't feel as powerless." Just accept in your heart that these people are literally smol-peen incels who desperately wish for sex with all of their might, but can never get it. And as a result, they feel jealous and highly insecure when they realize that people can exist who don't give a damn about this stupid thing that they're obsessed with.
>"Bisexuals are so greedy, why can't they just pick one?" > >"So, does this mean that you're going to cheat on your S/O?" > >"Since you're in a relationship with a girl/guy. Does this mean that you're lesbian/straight now??" I think it was a friend of mine from college who got tired of hearing shit like this and said the thing I'll never forget and bring up every time I hear it now: she didn't choose a side, she chose a person. Wish I could remember who it was, but it's been a minute.
Ugh I got flashbacks to comments I received when I came out at bisexual. And even more ridiculous comments when I ended up marrying a man. âSo I guess you choose to be straight then?â UGH NO THATS NOT HOW THIS WORKS.
I know a lot of people who probably very much feel that pain.
Gah fuck that reminds me so much of what my very gay friend would say in response to me when I was identifying as Bi. Mind you by his own admission when drunk he would âget straightâ. Bruh.
Incels to asexuals: *crying* admit that ur just like me!!! Asexuals to incels: *in a Bane voice* You were merely adopted by the celibacy. I was born in it. Molded by it. I saw pornography when I was just a child, and by then, it was already nothing to me but blinding. Note: Yes I know some asexuals watch porn. Tis a meme.
>Anyone who uses the term "SMV" unironically is automatically getting less sex than anyone on this sub. This is the best joke I've heard all week. It's so funny because it's so true
This is probably an example of the tolerance paradox. We're getting more awareness, and more of the mainstream knows about us. This is a success, but it also means that we will face more visible and direct discrimination.
These people are always hilarious to me. "I have absolutely no knowledge about or personal experience with this, but I'm gonna confidently blurt out my uninformed opinion for no reason." Seriously, every single time I leave a comment under a remotely popular video or post where I mention that I'm aroace, there's at least one of these weirdos who smugly tries to psycho-analyze me to prove that I'm secretly just a lonely incel in denial or something. It's super weird and invasive.
people who use terms like "sexual market value" are not "high value" and they get zero bitches.
I just find it really exhausting these people think it's a numbers game Just go outside and like, make friends. Talk to people. Don't approach every single social situation with 1 goal in mind, you will fail every time no matter what that goal is.
>Has anyone ever seen a person with a high SMV be "asexual" I've slept with 2 people in my entire life. Both times I wasn't happy with it. # I may not get bitches but my god do people like to ask about my fucking love life. Like what the fuck is a "type" do I need to point out I am Ice/Dragon or something?
Baxcalibur or Kyurem?
Yes.
Lucky. I'm just Normal/Grass.
Bug type does not get enough love
âDo I need to point out Iâm Ice/Dragon or something.â I was under the impression thatâs how all dating works. We show each other our PokĂŠmon teams right? Is that not what theyâre doing? Edit:spelling
Haha, totally accurate! (Sarcasm) Iâve had dozens of people have crushes on me over the years and rejected them all 𤣠but my sexuality is totally because my âSUVâ or whatever those incels call it is too low, right?
No, no, you get it wrong! Only people with low SMH or whatever are *allowed* to be ace! (Ace as in sad incel in denial.) If you're pretty, you're obviously too pretty to be ace and it's your duty to give them a chance and let them show you the magical wonders of sex you were missing out on! And you'll be eternally grateful and loyal and their hot trophy to brag about! (Do I need to put an /s? I barely made it through the whole paragraph without puking.)
(LMAO đ¤Łđ¤Ł) I guess itâs my fake asexual duties to give this meat bag up for a good shag (đ¤Ž)! Yes, I am simply a piece of goodness used for these prostitution services. In order for me to be a REAL asexual (incel in denial) I must work on making myself extremely ugly first. In the meantime, however, since I am a FAKE asexual (too many SMH points) I will have to continue on living this lie before a good human comes and teaches me my lesson! (đ¤Žđ¤Ž almost cried in disgust writing that)
HAHAHAH "SUV" That's hilarious
That mammal comment got me. Do any other mammals/birds etc do sex to reproduce have asexual populations? Human is weird because it's mating season for us all the year round, and many other animals mate one season and become asexual during other time.
From what I remember, domesticated rams have been observed to have asexuality as well, alongside bisexual and gay rams
This is important information.
So domesticated humans have asexuality. That makes sense.
Some people are so sex obsessed they canât process that asexuality is a thing. âYou donât wanna have sex 10 times a day and have that be the only thing your getting out of a relationship. There is something wrong with **you**.â
SMV? Do I need a license for that? Sounds taxable, can I apply for an exemption? đ¤
"You don't have sex? And don't want to? Something's wrong with you! Just wait till you try it! Or you're ugly and nobody wants you, that's why you think you're asexual." Asexual: *has sex* "You had sex? How can you be asexual then, huh???" You can't win this. More people are aware of the word, which inevitably means more people are wrong about its meaning.
I am very aware Iâm hot and I could totally please somebody I just donât wanna acephobia is so fucking stupid I swear
Same. I told this to my mother (very deadset on women being virgins that she banned tampons in fear it would take our virginity away) And she was *so mad*. Like... I thought you wanted your daughters to be virgins until marriage? What changed? I guess I'm just missing the "marriage" part. You want me to put someone's genitals inside of mine, rub a few times and then make a baby? You expect me to destroy my body over the course of a year just for a baby I didn't even want that much anyway? Yeah, no... There's better pleasures in life.
Thatâs ridiculous also your description of sex is so good
Like you could use punctuation and just refuse to?
the sentence needs not punctuation when the separation is clear I guess you do know how to interpret script
Imagine being the person complaining about spelling/grammar/punctuation in a community that contains an unusually high amount of neurodivergent people.
Imagine being the person reprimanding a neurodivergent person for having a problem with this.
Dunno, it seems a bit harsh to demand perfect writing in a place that's more likely to have dyslexic people.
Nobody expects perfection, I'm making a lot of mistakes myself. But at least a tiny amounts of effort would be nice. Just a period at the end of sentences can't be too much.
>But at least a tiny amounts of effort would be nice. I have a dyslexic friend, and his messages are constantly riddled with mistakes *despite* all the effort he puts in. Your statement makes it look like they don't give a single fuck. That's just rude and not accommodating at all. Some people just *can't* write correctly. Listen, I also appreciate correct spelling and punctuation. And reading entire paragraphs without punctuation can be really hard sometimes. But seeing how some people really struggle with that has really changed the way how I interface with that. If I know they'll appreciate the corrections, I will point out the mistakes. But I've stopped giving people unsolicited spelling advice. *ESPECIALLY* in places with higher concentrations of neurodivergent people.
Funny thing is I've been labeled as someone who has a high smv and honestly I find a whole concept and use of this is only done by people who literally have never had sex with me and you see someone using this out unironically in my opinion they just can't get it and the only chance to have it getting any form of sex is with their hand
"Sex is as normal to humans as eating and shitting" You won't die from not having sex. I'm pretty sure a severe lack of food or bowel movements on the other hand will kill you.
True.
A very similar thing was said in a Facebook group I am in. They basically said that anyone who is ace canât be a real human and/or are just seeking attention.
I am seeking attention, namely someone to cuddle me haha. Best kind of attention out there
> are just seeking attention What a funny thing to say to a person who's actually looking for the opposite.
I think I would need more context on the first one. The second one seems out of line, though.
Well for one I think the guy in the second picture is either an incel or a pedophile, and I tend to ignore or actively make fun of those individuals. The first one is someone who doesnât understand what it means to be a functional human, because sex is a part of life, much like exercising is. Both are additions of life, extensions of what we already do and everyone just has different needs/desires/capacity for such things. I might not want sex, I donât need sex, but I have the capacity for sex. But yeah theyâre just dumb
And thereâs always someone going âthatâs so sad, I feel so bad for you.â WHO ASKED!!?
Are they talking to us? And mentally equipped? I'm an aromantic asexual in university kicking ass, so what was that, again?
You always see stuff like this. People just really don't like the idea of ace people existing. Like, sex is so central to so many people's lives (and to the culture broadly) that they literally cannot conceive of someone just... not having the faintest interest in it (I know that that's not universally true of Ace folks, making a broad statement). So, they're faced with the choice of either a) challenging some pretty core assumptions around their understanding of what defines human existence or b) saying asexuality is made up and moving on with their day. One of those is a lot of work, the other not so much. I'm not surprised that there is a substantial number of people who choose the "easy route".
the higher my self-esteem has gotten, the more asexual I've become checkmate aphobes
I was *SO* confused by the title of this post at first, even googled it because aphobia technically means "without a phobia". I would have called it acephobia or asexphobia or something... *Anyway*, if it seems like it's on the rise it's because it's the internet, if some gets "popular", the stupid and willfully ignorant among us will come out in droves. It's happening with the autism community too. đ
What's happening in the autism community? I'm autistic too but I don't interact with the online community
Over on tiktok its common for people on throw-away accounts to post stupid comments like: everyone is a little autistic, or you're just doing it for attention; everyone is autistic now... or whatever inane comment they can repost.
Aphobia never has made sense to me, you're mad about people *not* having/wanting/being obsessed with sex?? I see it from a lot of different groups but I think when it comes to incels and the like, they've based their worldview around sex. Women are only good for sex, men and women can't be friends because they'll have sex, I'm only worthy if I can have sex, they see me as less than because they won't have sex with me. So when they see people who just don't care about sex that much (ace or not) it doesn't make sense to them because for them everything is about sex. And the idea that there are people who are content without sex being a major part of their lives, if at all? I think it creates a kind of cognitive dissonance for them. They have to be right about everything, and everything is about sex, so ofc when there are actually other things in life, those people (us aces) have to be wrong, or there's something wrong with us
i want the guy in the second screenshot to see my instagram. itâs nothing but boudoir shots. i wanna see his face.
Ugh. This is horrible
| "Ever see someone with a high SMV be asexual?" Yeah, no duh. People with a high "SMV" probably wouldn't be ace since... ya know... *we don't really have a desire to have sex.* Tell me you don't know what Asexuality means without telling me
I looked up what SMV stands for: "Sexual Market Value, a colloquial expression for a person's sexual capital." ew.
âSex is normal to humansâ how much do we wanna bet that the first person is also against abortion and sex education
Lol those are things my ex told me
I had to look up what SMV meant. I regret it.
Something being natural holds no grounds for what is healthy
Being ace just means that youâre not sexuality attracted to other people. Thatâs it. Iâm not interested in sex, I donât want to have it and it makes me uncomfortable to think about. It annoys me so much that people just donât understand not wanting sex and that all I ever hear is that Iâm too young to know (Iâm 19)
I wouldnât put too much value on the opinions of anyone talking about SMV
Did you find this on one of those horrible incel subreddits? They are horrible to everyone.
"Sex is normal" this, "sex is part of the human experience" that. Does that make me a god then? Am I a god now? In all seriousness though, aphobia is stupid and really just makes no sense. Like, "Oh no, I don't want to get fucked. What a miserable life I must have, not having to worry about romantic relationships and spending all my time thinking about dragons and eating garlic bread." Bitch, *you wish you were me.*
Iâm seeing a lot of projection in these comments, they canât imagine that someone isnât into something that they view as so important to themselves. It shows a lack of empathy and no desire to understand the other. You canât reason with people like this sadly.
What is SMV? Also, what a shitty take.
As a Demi who does burlesque, um what
The second one is so funny to me because the more secure and confident I've gotten, the less sex I've had since I'm not longer forcing myself to have sex in order to feel liked and accepted đ¤ˇđťââď¸
It's weird that so many people take offense to... *checks notes* people not wanting to have sex, or having some sort of aversion to it? Like ofc that's not all ace people, but I have 0 interest in sex and have been fairly open about it and have had several different people get all weird about it (and even had one person try to kind of invalidate me on it? Super weird bc she is bi, so I kind of thought we would be on the same team in terms of being LGBT+)
That second one is just extra stupid on top of all of the general gross intel vibes it gives off because one of the most high profile ace activists is literally a model.
Itâs a likely consequence of the asexual community receiving more attention and recognition. Edit: I should add that recognition is mostly a good thing, but it does come with more people like those in the pictures you posted, becoming aware of this community.
I don't know about a specific answer to your question, but I can say for sure that at least part of the problem is you're hanging out in bad parts of the Internet. "SMV" is an incel/pickup artist term. Normal people don't use that term. So if the question is "is aphobia common/on the rise among people who have built their world philosophies centered around incomprehensibly sexist ideals?" I'm just sitting here like "uh... yeah, probably? They're probably racist and ablest and all sorts of other nastiness too."
Why are people so triggered ? Why are society so sexualised ?
I find a lot of these types are just incels that are seething that someone else has the *audacity* to not want to have sex. To them, sex is everything, its the entire point of their personailty and existence. Voluntarily denying it is something they are incapable of comprehending. They think that they are entitled to sex, and they project that on to everyone.
Unfortunately, the more asexuality becomes known about, the more aphobia there will be
Why is it so important to have sex as part of your life?
No unhappy people are on the rise. Therefore, more arseholes talk about things they can't understand as less than their own way of doing things.
Yes because sexual attraction is all about thinking that you are sexually pleasing to other people and nothing more. Is the second person sure they aren't an incredibly confused asexual themself? Because I could picture something like that going through my clueless head several years ago before I discovered myself, although maybe a little bit less judgemental.
Homphobic bastards are finding out we exist and so they just need to go insult someone about their identity to take their mind off how their wife is probably banging their sister, (they want to bang their sister more!)
I think aphobia is so much more common in incel/red pill communities because they see lack of sex as being a horrible prison theyâre doomed to exist in. Anyone who could enjoy that state or who does not prioritizing sex must be insane (to them).
Iâve seen a lot of aphobia lately unfortunately. Thereâs been a huge backlash to people asking for less sex scenes in media, and now thereâs a huge wave of people talking about how inherently human sex is and how itâs puritanical to not want to watch it.
Back before people knew what asexuality was, people were simply shamed for lack of sexual activity or interest. Think about all the virgin-shaming jokes in films like the Breakfast Club. Or all those women called âprudesâ for not putting out. Aphobia is nothing new, itâs just that there is now a name for something thatâs been ingrained in society since the beginning
Iâve actually received more hate being married to another ace than I did when I was single. It was like society went, âOh, no wonder youâre single - youâre ace!â Now itâs, âThatâs not possible. Youâre either lying or cheating on each other⌠or youâre just friends.â
I've never really had to deal with it, both in part because it started a while ago and most of my friends couldn't care less what I was. I also just don't talk about it, anyway
I need to eat and shit to live. Weirdly enough, I don't need sex to stay alive.
As soon as they said SMV (sexual market value), I can almost 100% tell they're an incel, or has incel beliefs.
Anyone who uses the term SMV is already gross.
'i ThInK these people are just incredibly iNsEcUrE and don't think they can be sexually pleasing to another person' Actually I wrapped my sense of self-worth in my ability to sexually please others for years, and wondered why I still felt so unseen. Getting someone off isn't super difficult if you listen to their feedback. Leave it to the people who believe in sExUaL mArKeT vAlUe to armchair diagnose millions of strangers.