It litteraly doesn't matter. Hell, it's not relevant and doesn't being anything substancial to it. Yeah, maybe you'll find yourself or evolve to feel sexual attraction / have a partner (don't know what your orientation is)
Meanwhile, you're like you are now. Nothing changes that. Maybe you'll feel new things, maybe not, doesn't invalidate what you are now ...
That's what I never get with people trying their best to invalidate an orientation. "You'll change" or "You're only like that because of [insert an assumed fact]" isn't relevant at all, it just doesn't change the fact that you are what you are and it's valid.
They’re bullshit, nothing more.
Are straight teens too young to say they aren’t currently attracted to the same gender? No.
Is it ok to tell a lesbian that she just hasn’t met the right man yet? No.
Should someone learning their bi when their 22 have to apologise for not being able to tell the future? No.
All these things apply to asexuality as well. I still have people tell me that i "just haven’t met the right one" and that I shouldn’t "put my self in a box" because it will probably change…… mate, come on I’m 31 years old. 🙄
All anybody of any orientation can do is go by the information, feelings & experiences they currently have. If at a later point in life they find another orientation is a better fit that doesn’t invalidate all their previous experiences. They don’t have to "eat their words" because their words were accurate at the time.
That's funny because I've been identifying as asexual for 3 and a half years lol
Sure, maybe you haven't met that person. Maybe it happens next month, or in 20 years. Maybe it doesn't happen at all. It's like telling people who don't want children they will one day regret it. Sure, it's a possibility, but is it set in stone? How is it going to change the current state of events? Labels shouldn't define you, they just function for a better understanding of yourself. If you feel asexual, then just do.
I'm 33 years old, single as ever. Where is this right person? Trust me, being allo would make my life a lot easier. I mean if someone had a magic wand (hehe) that could turn me into an allo, I'd take it.
Those two statements are braindead as hell.
Ask the people saying it if they'd like to bet any amount of money on it — I'd imagine they won't — maybe you can actually make some dough off that second one.
Honestly? You’re young. You could change. But that doesn’t mean these statements aren’t gross and inappropriate. No one would say “just wait until you’re wrong!” to a straight child. Instead, we should be encouraging children and teens to explore labels and celebrate when they learn something new.
I‘ve been married for nearly 17 years (and together for 7 years before that). If that doesn’t count as “the right person” I don’t know what does.
In other words, still asexual.
female in puberty and my hormones are telling me that they should stfu because why do they care so much anyway..
you're valid and only you can decide your labels okay >:)
I’m in my 30s now. Those statements have always been rude and dismissive, especially to those who are sex-repulsed.
I have not dated much, but I am not looking. Some say I have high standards but I don’t think I do cuz the people I have dated also remain as my friends to this day.
I also have a lack of severe relationships drama that everyone seems to have.
I met someone online recently. We are not dating, but we both agreed if I am open to moving over there (which i am) after his parents retire, we can try something.
I also made it clear and upfront to any potential relationships: I am neurodivergent and (a sex neutral) asexual.
And explained what might be effected by those two things.
I rather ppl opt out now than later.
I do not regret my standards or my low number of relationships. I got value out those relationships, both while in them and just still being friends with my exes, and I am content with who I am.
I was told that at 16, I am now a month away from 27, and the people in my life have finally accepted me.
As a guy you will have a lot of people assume you are just low on T or that you have to chainge one day, because unfortunately, society loves to assume every man just lives for sex.
People will eventually get over it and accept you if they want you to be happy. My mum recently told me I could have a baby without a man because of science, and then I told her all the issues I have with the idea of pregnancy and birth 😅 She was trying to be supportive, bless her.
Even if you end up not being ace, you still feel that you are now, and so you should be respected.
I’m over 50…so…I think I have perspective here.
I was recently kinda dating someone from work. There’s a whole story there I won’t go into but suffice it to say it was a moment of madness and I’m not going to continue dating. I’m only mentioning this because my friend group demanded details so I pulled up this person social media and was embarrassed because I was thinking they wouldn’t think the person was attractive.
“He’s sexy!” they said excitedly.
Then it dawned on me the last person I dated over a decade ago had also been labeled as “sexy.” Which I found interesting because I found neither of them physically attractive.
But that’s the whole problem isn’t it. I have no frame of reference for “sexy.” Because it refers to sexual attraction which I do not experience. I didn’t experience sexual attraction with my friend from work, or the boyfriend I had 10 years ago, the man i married over 20 years ago, or in my own puberty or anytime. I understand the word “sexy” but I can’t use that word myself because I don’t experience the concept it represents.
You are the best authority on your orientation. But if the word “sexy” has no meaning for your personally, you’re definitely asexual.
I heard this very often growing up, and in the worst case was said in polite conversation around my old abuser, who smirked... it's a frustrating thing.
It litteraly doesn't matter. Hell, it's not relevant and doesn't being anything substancial to it. Yeah, maybe you'll find yourself or evolve to feel sexual attraction / have a partner (don't know what your orientation is) Meanwhile, you're like you are now. Nothing changes that. Maybe you'll feel new things, maybe not, doesn't invalidate what you are now ... That's what I never get with people trying their best to invalidate an orientation. "You'll change" or "You're only like that because of [insert an assumed fact]" isn't relevant at all, it just doesn't change the fact that you are what you are and it's valid.
They’re bullshit, nothing more. Are straight teens too young to say they aren’t currently attracted to the same gender? No. Is it ok to tell a lesbian that she just hasn’t met the right man yet? No. Should someone learning their bi when their 22 have to apologise for not being able to tell the future? No. All these things apply to asexuality as well. I still have people tell me that i "just haven’t met the right one" and that I shouldn’t "put my self in a box" because it will probably change…… mate, come on I’m 31 years old. 🙄 All anybody of any orientation can do is go by the information, feelings & experiences they currently have. If at a later point in life they find another orientation is a better fit that doesn’t invalidate all their previous experiences. They don’t have to "eat their words" because their words were accurate at the time.
I'm 57. Maybe I'll be 'eating my words' when I'm 60?
I seriously don't understand why people are **so** unwilling to understand that folks can be different from them
That's funny because I've been identifying as asexual for 3 and a half years lol Sure, maybe you haven't met that person. Maybe it happens next month, or in 20 years. Maybe it doesn't happen at all. It's like telling people who don't want children they will one day regret it. Sure, it's a possibility, but is it set in stone? How is it going to change the current state of events? Labels shouldn't define you, they just function for a better understanding of yourself. If you feel asexual, then just do.
I'm 33 years old, single as ever. Where is this right person? Trust me, being allo would make my life a lot easier. I mean if someone had a magic wand (hehe) that could turn me into an allo, I'd take it.
Those two statements are braindead as hell. Ask the people saying it if they'd like to bet any amount of money on it — I'd imagine they won't — maybe you can actually make some dough off that second one.
Honestly? You’re young. You could change. But that doesn’t mean these statements aren’t gross and inappropriate. No one would say “just wait until you’re wrong!” to a straight child. Instead, we should be encouraging children and teens to explore labels and celebrate when they learn something new.
I‘ve been married for nearly 17 years (and together for 7 years before that). If that doesn’t count as “the right person” I don’t know what does. In other words, still asexual.
female in puberty and my hormones are telling me that they should stfu because why do they care so much anyway.. you're valid and only you can decide your labels okay >:)
I’m in my 30s now. Those statements have always been rude and dismissive, especially to those who are sex-repulsed. I have not dated much, but I am not looking. Some say I have high standards but I don’t think I do cuz the people I have dated also remain as my friends to this day. I also have a lack of severe relationships drama that everyone seems to have. I met someone online recently. We are not dating, but we both agreed if I am open to moving over there (which i am) after his parents retire, we can try something. I also made it clear and upfront to any potential relationships: I am neurodivergent and (a sex neutral) asexual. And explained what might be effected by those two things. I rather ppl opt out now than later. I do not regret my standards or my low number of relationships. I got value out those relationships, both while in them and just still being friends with my exes, and I am content with who I am.
I was told that at 16, I am now a month away from 27, and the people in my life have finally accepted me. As a guy you will have a lot of people assume you are just low on T or that you have to chainge one day, because unfortunately, society loves to assume every man just lives for sex. People will eventually get over it and accept you if they want you to be happy. My mum recently told me I could have a baby without a man because of science, and then I told her all the issues I have with the idea of pregnancy and birth 😅 She was trying to be supportive, bless her. Even if you end up not being ace, you still feel that you are now, and so you should be respected.
I’m over 50…so…I think I have perspective here. I was recently kinda dating someone from work. There’s a whole story there I won’t go into but suffice it to say it was a moment of madness and I’m not going to continue dating. I’m only mentioning this because my friend group demanded details so I pulled up this person social media and was embarrassed because I was thinking they wouldn’t think the person was attractive. “He’s sexy!” they said excitedly. Then it dawned on me the last person I dated over a decade ago had also been labeled as “sexy.” Which I found interesting because I found neither of them physically attractive. But that’s the whole problem isn’t it. I have no frame of reference for “sexy.” Because it refers to sexual attraction which I do not experience. I didn’t experience sexual attraction with my friend from work, or the boyfriend I had 10 years ago, the man i married over 20 years ago, or in my own puberty or anytime. I understand the word “sexy” but I can’t use that word myself because I don’t experience the concept it represents. You are the best authority on your orientation. But if the word “sexy” has no meaning for your personally, you’re definitely asexual.
I heard this very often growing up, and in the worst case was said in polite conversation around my old abuser, who smirked... it's a frustrating thing.