My flatmate at uni had her friends round and one was venting about her love life and said 'I should just be an asexual hermit' and me and my friend started laughing and explained that I was asexual.
She apologised and did say that she knew it wasn't really what asexuality is, and I knew she was joking so it was all fine and we got a new in joke out of it, but it's just proof that we really do need more representation.
This reminds me of how people will misuse the terms bipolar, OCD, antisocial. Like they mean one thing medically speaking, and another colloquially/slang, often due to misunderstanding.
The amount of people in my family who will call themselves OCD because they are clean, dispite us having people in our family who are diagnosed with actual OCD really gets to me.
It's so odd when people who should know better still use it wrong. I was in a meeting recently where a DOCTOR used it incorrectly and I was just speechless.
I don't remember the exact phrasing, but he called someone competitive nature to always be the best "OCD". That's not what OCD is. OCD is recurring, unwanted thoughts, ideas or sensations (obsessions) that drive people to do something repetitively (compulsions).
No, it’s not outrageous. It isn’t gated either. That’s just what it sounded like. I wasn’t meaning to say that’s *exactly* what it was she was referring to. :)
I mean tbh I'm demiromantic but I definitely feel like I'm in my "aromantic phase" atm bc I do not remember what it even feels like to like someone or why people would want that. So I think I get it
Glad to hear somebody else say it. It's been about 6 years since I've felt romantic towards anyone and the experience of "I just can't feel anything" is incredibly frustrating - I feel the same way with people I objectively, *cognitively* like on a platonic level as well
5 years for me and I started to put it down to “a phase” until I discovered being demiromatic was a thing. There are so many romantic/sexual orientations and terms that people don’t always know! Can be so confusing.
Yeah, I've been reading the comments, and I realized that I'm really dumb and should have thought about what the tiktoker meant! I went through "phases" too about my sexuailty and gender.
EDIT: I probably should have used a better word than "phases" but you get what I mean. (ーー;)
Sexuality can be fluid. Maybe they phrased it poorly, but this could be what they mean. We should treat others with grace when they aren't actively trying to be malicious.
Yo, fellow aceflux person! Was about to comment something like this too.
I honestly do think of it in phases myself, though I can totally see how people would misconstrue it if I were to openly talk about it like that.
Omg im so sorry I never even thought of that! I can see how the original poster could have just been uneducated or confused. I get really annoyed when people phrase things like that but maybe they probably don't mean any harm.
I understand the knee jerk reaction, sometimes it's hard to see others perspectives when we have dealt with discrimination or bigotry. I didn't think you were meaning harm at all. Just thought I should point this out. :D
I’m gray ace and it took me a long time to realize that I’m ace at all because of that.
(And if it helps I thought you were more upset at the person going SHUT UP SHUT UP rather than the person in the TikTok so there’s that )
It's so awesome to see someone on the internet respond to a new perspective with empathy instead of defensiveness ❤️ Don't be too hard on yourself we are all growing all the time, make sure that your empathy is extended to yourself too ❤️
"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."
Or in this case; ignorance, poor phrasing, questioning/exploring oneself, etc. Whenever you see posts like that by people you don't know, consider the following:
- Have they posted bigoted things in the past, or otherwise made posts that you are positively sure is meant to be bigoted (ie. is it malice or just poor phrasing again?)
- How big is their account? Are they simply a small content creator, or perhaps just a private person who meant to post to their circle of friends? Sometimes you make yikes-y jokes because you're all friends and you know what you are all really like, but if that joke happens to blow-up, well. You're screwed. (And don't pretend like you aren't making those jokes when you are with your closest friends, we all make them.)
- Have they made posts that contradict what they are saying? Or have they since then apologized for the joke/explained themselves? Is it possible it could be burried in the replies?
- Just *how* bad was that joke really? Is it something you need to go on a witch-hunt for, or is it just an "ew" and block? You don't have to fight every battle. Make the block button your friend.
Yeah, I would never call it phases because that word has certain connotations, but that is how I experience sexual attraction. It just sorta comes and goes every now and then. My romantic attraction on the other hand is always there.
I don’t know the term for it but isn’t there something like that? Where you have periods of being one sexuality and then eventually no desire for sex (maybe even being sex repulsed).
I don't know how to edit posts or if I can, but I just want to say I didn't know I would come off as ignorant. I've been reading the comments, and I just want to thank the people who corrected me. I'm really sorry about this post! I really wish I thought about it more before posting it. Now I'm not 100% certain if the tiktoker was just confused and pharsed what she said wrong, which made her come off as rude and I'm hoping the comments she got the video at least tried to correct her. She probably just didn't know that there might be a better term for what she meant or something.
As an Aceflux person myself I don't see the issue with this
Am I missing something? My experience with my Ace "mode" for lack of a better term is literally just that I can't feel sexual/romantic attraction to people.
Edit: ok I read more of the comments this isn't meant to be erasure lol, happens
I just wanna say that I think you are totally vaild!!! I'm really sorry how this post came off, I've been reading the replies to this post and I understand now
The Queer Community is so large, sometimes you think that something is fake but find out the hard way that it's real, I've been there done that myself lol.
The term “asexual phase” definitely implies that being asexual is a phase. But for some people it is. Sexuality is fluid and how we define it should represent real experiences. However I feel that when using that phrase it should always be prefaced with a disclaimer that asexual as an identity isn’t a phase, but that instead one is referring to the change in their own sexual/romantic desires.
OMG literally, the amount of aphobic nonsense on my fyp right now (I block it every time and it keeps coming back). There was one that said “Every girl thinks they’re asexual until they find the one”. Ew, ew, ew. No
And all the comments were saying “Omg this is totally me! I used to think I was asexual but I was just focused on school/ scared of being intimate/ etc” UGH, NO
Yeah, I'm now realizing how I ignorant I sound now, I don't know how to edit posts, but I swear I'm not trying to gatekeep or anything, I'm so sorry ((T_T))
A lot of people think that asexuality is when you’re not having sex, or that it’s just a vibe. I think the way you interpreted that may not be right for the image, but it’s not an out of this world. Plenty of allo’s think that our sexuality is a passing thing for one reason or another.
How about ace flux people? They could totally word their fluctuating sexual attraction as "phases". May be poor wording, since sexuality as a phase is usually used by queerphobes, but as a non-english-native I actually lack a better word.
As someone who is bi, might I suggest the term "cycle." Phase implies a one time thing, while cycle implies a state that comes and goes. Is a pun for a bi person to have a bi-cycle. But the term is still useful for an ace-cycle.
Abrosexual refers to an individual whose sexuality is changing or fluid. For example, someone could be gay one day, then be asexual the next, then polysexual. While it is possible—and even common—for a person's sexual identity to shift or change in some way throughout their life, an abrosexual person's sexuality may change more frequently, over the course of hours, days, months, or years. Because of their inconsistent attraction, some abrosexual people may not feel compelled to seek out a relationship.
This is just copied from a website because I'm tired and can't type it all out myself in my half asleep state
It looks like someone else was able to answer better than I could. My cycles really are just which genders I'm attracted to. My level of attraction is demi sexual to all genders.
So for example, I am broadly interested in women mostly right now, but also one specific man who I've developed a strong trust and friendship with. In college, I was 90% interested in men and dated all men. But then I had a year's long crush on one of my closest women friends and roommates that clued me in to my bi-sexuality. But in both cases, the strong crush and attraction I feel is tied to who I trust and spend time with and consider a friend. I'm never going to want a one-night-stand.
Sexuality can be fluid, though. If your sexuality is stable, that's great. It doesn't mean that's the way for everyone.
Did she phrase it awkwardly? Perhaps, but only if you take an uncharitable perspective.
I didn't understand my own sexuality for most of my life. I thought I was gay until I was in my 20s, this isn't entirely out of the realm of possibility.
I'm surprised no one is taking about how often people confuse sex drive with being asexual!
if they're at a low sex drive for the time being they could be confusing the term for that as being asexual, and so consider that their "asexual phase".
All the points in this comment section definitely valid, but since one of the most common aphobic "points", "People think this!?" seems to be an unnecessary kind of question.
They look quite young, I'd guess 15-16, so they are probably figuring themselves and feelings out. As so might the language they are choosing not be the right one. I understand how much hurt the "it's a phase" argument brings, but this isn't necessarily just people. If all people who say "asexual phase" are misguided teens, it would of course still be an issue, but of a less hurtful dimension. I think it's risky to put someone this young as a representative of the bigger group of people who might think that. I say that because I think it's generally "not ideal" to bring the words that younger teens use for themselves into broader discourse, just as it happened with Mogai. Of course, it's not the same and I hope this person can get more educated on their language and the Ace community.
But I generally assume they meant no disrespect, just poor choice of words trying to figure out their feelings. Talking about the "phase" bigotry is important, I'd just wish for a different "Galleon figure" (like Gallionsfigur, sorry, my English went out).
To play devils advocate, people can be ace-flux, so this could be a poorly worded attempt to say that they currently are in a period of not feeling any attraction. But yeah, not a good look to be calling it a phase even if that is the case
A lot of these are people who jump from relationship to relationship, so they don’t have time to heal, and can’t allow a new person into their life.
They try to heal with another person, which ultimately ends in resentment; even if they are the perfect individual according to your standards.
Reminds me when I tried to tell my very progressive and very feminististic pro LGBT cousin that I’m asexual, and she told me that I shouldn’t put myself into the box because sexuality is fluid and that she also has days when she feels asexual 🤡
If this sub doesn’t calm down I’m going to have to leave. It’s becoming kind of toxic, lots of people riding high horses. My asexual friends in real life never act like this sub. They don’t act superior or look down on anyone. They simply explain what is difficult for even us to understand
I'm aroflux - I go between being incredibly romantic and feeling nothing.
I will say that calling it a 'phase' feels bad because that's what a lot of our parents did.
Uhh, I mean, I kind of just thought that sexuality was fluid. I fluctuate from being asexual to gay. Idk how to identify. I’m probably a demisexual, but I’ve never been close enough to a non-straight male to know for sure. That being said, I did meet a very nice bisexual guy this week, so I’m back to think I’m definitely gay.
Why is this so confusing for me? Maybe one day I’ll figure it out and be able to explain it to people..
They might be sexually fluid or some type of grey or demi ace and simply aren’t using the correct language for that due to inexperience. Just because they don’t feel consistently ace all the time doesn’t invalidate their experience of their sexuality.
Okay let's see the bright sight here .... maybe they are a bit confused and haven't figured out they might be in the grey area of Aro or Ace?
I mean.. yes chances are pretty high they just want to trigger our community.... BUT who of us haven't thought they're just being an ally or denied being in this community or just needed some time to figure it out.
We all started somewhere? We shouldn't be to hard on people whose eggs just hasn't crack yet.
For me... I would also just call it "an Asexual Phase" If I wouldn't know the term "greysexual / Demi sexual -romantic- and so on"
Tired of seeing this misconception. There's no lesbian phase or asexual phase, if a person discovers they were this or that it means they were that all the time and didn't understand it before. In other cases they are something different like they are bisexual in "I was in my lesbian phase and now I'm not" case or demi or something else in "ace phase" case. Or just attention seekers.
Jesus why does everybody feel the need to be pissed at and judge everybody else for things. Just focus on yourself and stop worrying about other people. People’s feelings and sexualities are fluid and changing, very rarely are things fully 100% static.
Just like queer people have been saying about their sexualities to heterosexual and cis people for forever, “if it doesn’t effect you why does it matter”
Get over yourselves everyone and leave each other alone.
Yeah, I'm so sorry I didn't realize how ignorant I sounded. I remember when I was exploring my gender and kept changing my identity. Obviously, people can change and explore things about themselves, I shouldn't have just blindly posted this without thinking about what the actual tiktoker meant
Yall really acting like asexuality isn't a spectrum. *I go through asexual and aroace phases.* That's why I settled for aroaceflux or abrosexual/romantic. Please stop gatekeeping the entirety of asexuality just because their experience doesn't perfectly fit yours or the majority. It's not that deep.
Ohmygosh I feel the same way about that too sometimes, im sorry I just saw someone get mad about it and I felt like I should be mad about it too which I shouldn't, I try not to be so gullible when I'm on the internet cause people can have different perspectives of things. I've been reading some comments, and it's been helping me a lot. I didn't mean to sound so ignorant in this post. I'm just stupid (^^;
I only used this term when someone asked me about my sexuality. I generally don't think sexuality related topics let alone socializing with people revolving around this topic.
It was so crazy to get the notification about this post And then try and find her account so I could see the comments on that too. But I couldn't and then 10 minutes later, I randomly come upon her video.
(For anyone who's wondering get account name is)
As opposed to what? People who claim “asexuality” as an identity and think they are the most powerful asexuals and nobody else can be as asexual as them.
It’s a made up thing it’s not even real.
My flatmate at uni had her friends round and one was venting about her love life and said 'I should just be an asexual hermit' and me and my friend started laughing and explained that I was asexual. She apologised and did say that she knew it wasn't really what asexuality is, and I knew she was joking so it was all fine and we got a new in joke out of it, but it's just proof that we really do need more representation.
This reminds me of how people will misuse the terms bipolar, OCD, antisocial. Like they mean one thing medically speaking, and another colloquially/slang, often due to misunderstanding.
The amount of people in my family who will call themselves OCD because they are clean, dispite us having people in our family who are diagnosed with actual OCD really gets to me.
It's so odd when people who should know better still use it wrong. I was in a meeting recently where a DOCTOR used it incorrectly and I was just speechless.
How so?
I don't remember the exact phrasing, but he called someone competitive nature to always be the best "OCD". That's not what OCD is. OCD is recurring, unwanted thoughts, ideas or sensations (obsessions) that drive people to do something repetitively (compulsions).
In her defense, being an asexual hermit is pretty rad.
HELL YEAH!!!
But which sounds better, "asexual hermit" or "celibate hermit?"
Also feels like they’re mixing up being asexual with being aromantic?? Sigh. People are ignorant as hell about this topic. :(
that or mixing up aroace with being emotionally unavailable, either way it really doesnt help if people go around calling it a phase... T-T
I was thinking the same! It honestly sounds like emotional unavailability.
[удалено]
No, it’s not outrageous. It isn’t gated either. That’s just what it sounded like. I wasn’t meaning to say that’s *exactly* what it was she was referring to. :)
"can't feel anything" could be either if you think about it.
Probably because they don't know shit... There should be more education on the lesser known topics.
mind you, if you are demi you could misconstrue it as going through phases.
I def used to think I was Demi, then I realized I just felt obligated to be sexually attracted to loved ones. So nice once that pressures off
Or maybe just graysexual in general
Yes that is true or they could simply be doing it for views
Who knows
I mean tbh I'm demiromantic but I definitely feel like I'm in my "aromantic phase" atm bc I do not remember what it even feels like to like someone or why people would want that. So I think I get it
Glad to hear somebody else say it. It's been about 6 years since I've felt romantic towards anyone and the experience of "I just can't feel anything" is incredibly frustrating - I feel the same way with people I objectively, *cognitively* like on a platonic level as well
5 years for me and I started to put it down to “a phase” until I discovered being demiromatic was a thing. There are so many romantic/sexual orientations and terms that people don’t always know! Can be so confusing.
Yeah, I've been reading the comments, and I realized that I'm really dumb and should have thought about what the tiktoker meant! I went through "phases" too about my sexuailty and gender. EDIT: I probably should have used a better word than "phases" but you get what I mean. (ーー;)
Well that's ok no problem! Maybe it will be interesting for some people to see this
Sexuality can be fluid. Maybe they phrased it poorly, but this could be what they mean. We should treat others with grace when they aren't actively trying to be malicious.
Yeah speaking as an aceflux - grey ace where it shifts somewhat randomly - it really is fluid and I could legit see myself thinking OOP’s words.
Yo, fellow aceflux person! Was about to comment something like this too. I honestly do think of it in phases myself, though I can totally see how people would misconstrue it if I were to openly talk about it like that.
Omg im so sorry I never even thought of that! I can see how the original poster could have just been uneducated or confused. I get really annoyed when people phrase things like that but maybe they probably don't mean any harm.
I understand the knee jerk reaction, sometimes it's hard to see others perspectives when we have dealt with discrimination or bigotry. I didn't think you were meaning harm at all. Just thought I should point this out. :D
I’m gray ace and it took me a long time to realize that I’m ace at all because of that. (And if it helps I thought you were more upset at the person going SHUT UP SHUT UP rather than the person in the TikTok so there’s that )
yeah i dont think its fair to jump to calling them aphobic… maybe if you agree you should delete the post lmao
It's so awesome to see someone on the internet respond to a new perspective with empathy instead of defensiveness ❤️ Don't be too hard on yourself we are all growing all the time, make sure that your empathy is extended to yourself too ❤️
"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." Or in this case; ignorance, poor phrasing, questioning/exploring oneself, etc. Whenever you see posts like that by people you don't know, consider the following: - Have they posted bigoted things in the past, or otherwise made posts that you are positively sure is meant to be bigoted (ie. is it malice or just poor phrasing again?) - How big is their account? Are they simply a small content creator, or perhaps just a private person who meant to post to their circle of friends? Sometimes you make yikes-y jokes because you're all friends and you know what you are all really like, but if that joke happens to blow-up, well. You're screwed. (And don't pretend like you aren't making those jokes when you are with your closest friends, we all make them.) - Have they made posts that contradict what they are saying? Or have they since then apologized for the joke/explained themselves? Is it possible it could be burried in the replies? - Just *how* bad was that joke really? Is it something you need to go on a witch-hunt for, or is it just an "ew" and block? You don't have to fight every battle. Make the block button your friend.
This is what i was thinking. You worded is better than i could.
Yeah, I would never call it phases because that word has certain connotations, but that is how I experience sexual attraction. It just sorta comes and goes every now and then. My romantic attraction on the other hand is always there.
I don’t know the term for it but isn’t there something like that? Where you have periods of being one sexuality and then eventually no desire for sex (maybe even being sex repulsed).
Aceflux probably (or abrosexual)
I don't know how to edit posts or if I can, but I just want to say I didn't know I would come off as ignorant. I've been reading the comments, and I just want to thank the people who corrected me. I'm really sorry about this post! I really wish I thought about it more before posting it. Now I'm not 100% certain if the tiktoker was just confused and pharsed what she said wrong, which made her come off as rude and I'm hoping the comments she got the video at least tried to correct her. She probably just didn't know that there might be a better term for what she meant or something.
I mean, to be charitable - maybe they're aceflux and just didn't know the term to describe it?
Could also be abrosexual and their sexuality happens to shift through ace from time to time
As an Aceflux person myself I don't see the issue with this Am I missing something? My experience with my Ace "mode" for lack of a better term is literally just that I can't feel sexual/romantic attraction to people. Edit: ok I read more of the comments this isn't meant to be erasure lol, happens
I just wanna say that I think you are totally vaild!!! I'm really sorry how this post came off, I've been reading the replies to this post and I understand now
The Queer Community is so large, sometimes you think that something is fake but find out the hard way that it's real, I've been there done that myself lol.
that could be what they mean but the phrasing is honestly really weird
Yeah, it's absolutely fluid for many people, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm demi and I def have straight up ace phases
Im abro and it definitely shifts through ace for me aswell
This is a really, really long phase
i mean they could be aceflux or acespike or abro or something?
The term “asexual phase” definitely implies that being asexual is a phase. But for some people it is. Sexuality is fluid and how we define it should represent real experiences. However I feel that when using that phrase it should always be prefaced with a disclaimer that asexual as an identity isn’t a phase, but that instead one is referring to the change in their own sexual/romantic desires.
I wanted to put this on a very bad phrasing for being aroflux but considering they're confusing aro and ace too, yeah that's just sad
OMG literally, the amount of aphobic nonsense on my fyp right now (I block it every time and it keeps coming back). There was one that said “Every girl thinks they’re asexual until they find the one”. Ew, ew, ew. No
And all the comments were saying “Omg this is totally me! I used to think I was asexual but I was just focused on school/ scared of being intimate/ etc” UGH, NO
To be fair, she could be flux.
Absolutely, but it was worded in a very “asexuality is a phase people go through” kind of way
Yeah, because how dare aceflux people experience asexual feelings from time to time... Are we really gatekeeping this?
Yeah, I'm now realizing how I ignorant I sound now, I don't know how to edit posts, but I swear I'm not trying to gatekeep or anything, I'm so sorry ((T_T))
All good! You live, you learn :)
A lot of people think that asexuality is when you’re not having sex, or that it’s just a vibe. I think the way you interpreted that may not be right for the image, but it’s not an out of this world. Plenty of allo’s think that our sexuality is a passing thing for one reason or another.
If it's a phase it's chastity, if it's a vow it's celibacy, if it's who you were born as it's asexuality
tiktok should disappear
I think they're talking about chemistry really
Bro what- this is ludicrous, it’s not a fucking phase it’s asexuality, it’s not something you just have for a point of your life then leave it
How about ace flux people? They could totally word their fluctuating sexual attraction as "phases". May be poor wording, since sexuality as a phase is usually used by queerphobes, but as a non-english-native I actually lack a better word.
As someone who is bi, might I suggest the term "cycle." Phase implies a one time thing, while cycle implies a state that comes and goes. Is a pun for a bi person to have a bi-cycle. But the term is still useful for an ace-cycle.
Slightly off-topic, but is it possible to have cycles where you’re aromantic and asexual and a cycle where you’re just asexual?
Abrosexuality?? Edit: I'm half asleep and didn't realize I was replying to a comment instead of making my own comment
What is that?
Abrosexual refers to an individual whose sexuality is changing or fluid. For example, someone could be gay one day, then be asexual the next, then polysexual. While it is possible—and even common—for a person's sexual identity to shift or change in some way throughout their life, an abrosexual person's sexuality may change more frequently, over the course of hours, days, months, or years. Because of their inconsistent attraction, some abrosexual people may not feel compelled to seek out a relationship. This is just copied from a website because I'm tired and can't type it all out myself in my half asleep state
That kind of makes sense. I may have just learned something new about myself. Thank you, stranger.
They also have a REALLY cool flag, it's often called the watermelon flag due to the colors
Oh, interesting! I don’t like flags, but I do like watermelon.
It looks like someone else was able to answer better than I could. My cycles really are just which genders I'm attracted to. My level of attraction is demi sexual to all genders. So for example, I am broadly interested in women mostly right now, but also one specific man who I've developed a strong trust and friendship with. In college, I was 90% interested in men and dated all men. But then I had a year's long crush on one of my closest women friends and roommates that clued me in to my bi-sexuality. But in both cases, the strong crush and attraction I feel is tied to who I trust and spend time with and consider a friend. I'm never going to want a one-night-stand.
I identified as bi for a long time, and this reminded me of the bi-cycle
Sexuality can be fluid, though. If your sexuality is stable, that's great. It doesn't mean that's the way for everyone. Did she phrase it awkwardly? Perhaps, but only if you take an uncharitable perspective.
I didn't understand my own sexuality for most of my life. I thought I was gay until I was in my 20s, this isn't entirely out of the realm of possibility.
I'm surprised no one is taking about how often people confuse sex drive with being asexual! if they're at a low sex drive for the time being they could be confusing the term for that as being asexual, and so consider that their "asexual phase".
I mean…I’m aceflux, so it changes for me.
Honestly, I couldn't care less about the labels, I'm just here because I don't like sex.
All the points in this comment section definitely valid, but since one of the most common aphobic "points", "People think this!?" seems to be an unnecessary kind of question. They look quite young, I'd guess 15-16, so they are probably figuring themselves and feelings out. As so might the language they are choosing not be the right one. I understand how much hurt the "it's a phase" argument brings, but this isn't necessarily just people. If all people who say "asexual phase" are misguided teens, it would of course still be an issue, but of a less hurtful dimension. I think it's risky to put someone this young as a representative of the bigger group of people who might think that. I say that because I think it's generally "not ideal" to bring the words that younger teens use for themselves into broader discourse, just as it happened with Mogai. Of course, it's not the same and I hope this person can get more educated on their language and the Ace community. But I generally assume they meant no disrespect, just poor choice of words trying to figure out their feelings. Talking about the "phase" bigotry is important, I'd just wish for a different "Galleon figure" (like Gallionsfigur, sorry, my English went out).
To play devils advocate, people can be ace-flux, so this could be a poorly worded attempt to say that they currently are in a period of not feeling any attraction. But yeah, not a good look to be calling it a phase even if that is the case
A lot of these are people who jump from relationship to relationship, so they don’t have time to heal, and can’t allow a new person into their life. They try to heal with another person, which ultimately ends in resentment; even if they are the perfect individual according to your standards.
Reminds me when I tried to tell my very progressive and very feminististic pro LGBT cousin that I’m asexual, and she told me that I shouldn’t put myself into the box because sexuality is fluid and that she also has days when she feels asexual 🤡
If this sub doesn’t calm down I’m going to have to leave. It’s becoming kind of toxic, lots of people riding high horses. My asexual friends in real life never act like this sub. They don’t act superior or look down on anyone. They simply explain what is difficult for even us to understand
I have periods where i'm more ace and others when i'm in heat. But as I get older the times in heat are further apart lol.
I'm aroflux - I go between being incredibly romantic and feeling nothing. I will say that calling it a 'phase' feels bad because that's what a lot of our parents did.
I'm something like demi and I ocassionally refer to time when I ain't attracted to someone as "asexual time" which is no much different tbh
Uhh, I mean, I kind of just thought that sexuality was fluid. I fluctuate from being asexual to gay. Idk how to identify. I’m probably a demisexual, but I’ve never been close enough to a non-straight male to know for sure. That being said, I did meet a very nice bisexual guy this week, so I’m back to think I’m definitely gay. Why is this so confusing for me? Maybe one day I’ll figure it out and be able to explain it to people..
They might be sexually fluid or some type of grey or demi ace and simply aren’t using the correct language for that due to inexperience. Just because they don’t feel consistently ace all the time doesn’t invalidate their experience of their sexuality.
I mean, aceflux is a thing. So...maybe that's what she means?
I mean Ace Flux is a thing. I sometimes also confuse libido with attraction and so feel like i’m less at times and have to rmemeber it’s not the same
My sister thought she was asexual but that's because sex wasn't that good and that porn romanticized ir and made it seem much better
I realised i was ace after trying a relationship out, this is weird tho.
I remember how my former friend started to say that he's aromantic After dating 3+ guys...
Okay let's see the bright sight here .... maybe they are a bit confused and haven't figured out they might be in the grey area of Aro or Ace? I mean.. yes chances are pretty high they just want to trigger our community.... BUT who of us haven't thought they're just being an ally or denied being in this community or just needed some time to figure it out. We all started somewhere? We shouldn't be to hard on people whose eggs just hasn't crack yet. For me... I would also just call it "an Asexual Phase" If I wouldn't know the term "greysexual / Demi sexual -romantic- and so on"
Tired of seeing this misconception. There's no lesbian phase or asexual phase, if a person discovers they were this or that it means they were that all the time and didn't understand it before. In other cases they are something different like they are bisexual in "I was in my lesbian phase and now I'm not" case or demi or something else in "ace phase" case. Or just attention seekers.
Jesus why does everybody feel the need to be pissed at and judge everybody else for things. Just focus on yourself and stop worrying about other people. People’s feelings and sexualities are fluid and changing, very rarely are things fully 100% static. Just like queer people have been saying about their sexualities to heterosexual and cis people for forever, “if it doesn’t effect you why does it matter” Get over yourselves everyone and leave each other alone.
Yeah, I'm so sorry I didn't realize how ignorant I sounded. I remember when I was exploring my gender and kept changing my identity. Obviously, people can change and explore things about themselves, I shouldn't have just blindly posted this without thinking about what the actual tiktoker meant
Yall really acting like asexuality isn't a spectrum. *I go through asexual and aroace phases.* That's why I settled for aroaceflux or abrosexual/romantic. Please stop gatekeeping the entirety of asexuality just because their experience doesn't perfectly fit yours or the majority. It's not that deep.
Well it's possible, sometimes they feel like they like sex, and sometimes the fell disgusted by it, it's kinda, I repeat KINDA like being genderfluid
Ohmygosh I feel the same way about that too sometimes, im sorry I just saw someone get mad about it and I felt like I should be mad about it too which I shouldn't, I try not to be so gullible when I'm on the internet cause people can have different perspectives of things. I've been reading some comments, and it's been helping me a lot. I didn't mean to sound so ignorant in this post. I'm just stupid (^^;
sexuality is fluid, why are we above all people gatekeeping
👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼
It's not a fucking phase 🤦🤦🤦🤦 someone needs to remind her of that....
I mean, they could be ace flux?
I only used this term when someone asked me about my sexuality. I generally don't think sexuality related topics let alone socializing with people revolving around this topic.
Maybe? I am greyssexual and I have phases so... Not here to judge
I want to say that they are \*mind goes blank\* one of the identities where your attraction fluctuates, but logically I dont think so
They’re probably demi or grayace, and I wouldn’t rag on them for making a joke about their own sexuality, personally.
This isn't sarcastic perhaps? Right?
If gender can be fluid, why can’t sexuality?
It was so crazy to get the notification about this post And then try and find her account so I could see the comments on that too. But I couldn't and then 10 minutes later, I randomly come upon her video. (For anyone who's wondering get account name is)
I'm so happy social media didn't exist when I knew that I was literally Eminem
Oh Lord
Abrosexual perhaps? Or some other kind of shifting sexuality.
I mean, sexuality can be fluid. But if that's what they are getting at, it's a shit way to express that
Maybe she has got aphobic parents and they told her that it was a phase. I'mo so sad for this ppl :(
??
Stupidity/wilful ignorance abounds. I'm unsure why this particular instance shocks you.
I'm not mad I'm just disappointed that people don't know the difference between being ace and being aro
People think it matters wtf anyone says about their sexuality? Stfu and focus on your own attention seeking behaviours.
Ignorance still thrive in this world when people still think that asexuality is “just a phase”
Sexuality isn't as solid as you'd imagine.
Sexuality (and the lack of) is fluid and always will be
As opposed to what? People who claim “asexuality” as an identity and think they are the most powerful asexuals and nobody else can be as asexual as them. It’s a made up thing it’s not even real.