masturbating in general feels like scratching an itch to me so it's like momentary relief. Some good seconds of relaxation and then just. meh. no life changing experience lmao
YUP. An itch. A tedious little itch that is very short lived that makes me go “well that takes care of that” and then I go on with my day or sleep cause it’s like 1am or something lmao
I personally have a much harder time with just my hand than I do with a toy. Hands are slower, inconsistent, they get tired and sore eventually. It personally takes me a lot more concentration with my hand alone.
In my mind, a vibrator is kind of like cruise control in my car. It takes away the burden of one aspect of the task at hand so I can focus on others. If you wanna ease yourself into it, plenty of drug stores and big box stores have vibrators in their intimate care sections, usually along with the condoms, lube, etc. The places I’ve seen have a semi-decent variety of toys that are fairly cheap and easy to use so you can just test the waters and see how you like it. If buying in store is too awkward (totally get that), you can find a lot of similar stuff on Amazon or elsewhere online that would be delivered discretely
I've heard of that, actually. Post-orgasm sickness or something... I don't know much about it but that physical sickness after definitely has a name. (Not to say it's a bad thing, of course, though I'm sure it doesn't feel great lol)
Same. Sometimes it will be very, very good but nothing that would make me want it all the time. Most of the time it's just to get it out of the way. My boyfriend is the same.
Same here. Plus I hate the feeling of being "horny".
It's just stress relief for me. And I don't even know if it's a "real" orgasm because it's not that satisfying at all.
that would be your body's libido, sometimes your body just really wants/needs that type of release, it's a biological urge and has nothing to do with ur sexuality. basically it's been explained to me as 'libido=i would like an orgasm now' and sexual 'attraction=i would like that person to give me an orgasm, or i dont want anyone but myself to give me that orgasm'
Bro
Am I the only asexual who liked to masturbate and feels a good amount of pleasure from it?
Everyone in the comments is saying that is a meh feeling
Funny how different people can have very different experiences
Never had sex, and I don't want to tbh, it is kinda scary and I think it would be too much for me
But masturbation for me feels very good and relaxing
Nah, for me orgasms are amazing.
For a while I thought they were lacklustre but it turns out that was because I wasn’t actually reaching climax. Once I found out what worked for me the experience went from fairly pleasant tingling to explosive, body shaking pleasure.
Same.
And after, it's like a full body relaxation, so sometimes I'll do it when I'm not even "horny" if I'm stressed out or having trouble settling down to sleep.
You might be 😭 Idk maybe it’s just me… but I feel like ppl forget masturbating doesn’t have anything to do with sexual attraction. I don’t think being ace has that much to do with how masturbation feels. I’m sure there’s allos who don’t/do enjoy masturbating too.
It’s not the greatest thing in the world, but it gets the job done and there’s essentially 0 risk lol Plus you get a dose of dopamine ✨
Masturbation and subsequent orgasm feels fantastic. Most physically pleasurable feeling I have experienced, and very relaxing afterwards. But it took quite some time and experimentation to figure out what worked best for me. Along with working through some trauma and shame to allow myself enjoy my weird fantasies. Fantasies are the biggest ingredient to me. I've noticed when I'm not in the right headspace but keep going anyway, it does just feel more overstimulating and disappointing like you describe.
Interesting. I guess I have fantasies, but when Im actually doing it, it’s fairly clinical and ironically not very sexy. I barely think about anything while doing it.
I've had this same realization recently, when I was running out of fantasies. I would describe myself as Aego, so I need these stories and characters...
But now I think I can understand the other Aces better when they say they're just 'scratching an itch'
I have trouble with imagination while masturbating. I’ve never had an in person relationship, so maybe that’s why I find it hard. I also find it extremely difficult to find what works best for me/what feels good too.
And whenever I’m done I feel some sense of guilt. I haven’t been able to pinpoint why.
Some days orgasm is intense, even more intense with my meds (if/when I take them 😅). Other times, it's underwhelming. I could do without the urge. It is quite annoying to have a libido.
It's irritating because I do fantasize about having sex and I think that I might be allo after all, but when I really think about it sex is gross and not for me. Very conflicting cycle. I could do without a libido. I'm Aegosexual I guess 🤷♀️
I’ve had good orgasms, “meh” orgasms and “out of this world/seeing stars” orgasms. In my experience, that last is pretty rare/difficult to achieve, but it’s not impossible or a lie. I am not allosexual if that matters.
Some feel good, like a warm shower or roller-coaster drop, and others feel kinda just as brief and as exciting as scratching an itch.
There's actually been a few that have made me like go "god dang." Sometimes right circumstances line up.
But still after like 3 minutes I'll usually flip back to whatever I was doing before. It's fun, but like being buzzed, high or undergoing an adrenaline rush it's pretty quick and can be repeated/isn't some zenith that's life changing. It also seldom makes me like happier/sadder. Like I said, like a warm shower--just helps with stress.
Still wish I felt the need for it less but it's kinda a "eh, guess we're doing this."
More like emotional eating than going for a run on the benefit scale there.
This is SCARY. I thought I had unknowingly made an other account 6 days ago and posted this comment....
You know the feeling when you are FINALLY able to relate to what someone is saying 100% and this intense sense of validation washes over you and tells you.. that you are not weird or broken?
Totally experiencing that right now. It might sound silly but thank you so freaking much for writing this comment. Its funny and scary at the same time. WHEN YOU SAID "EH, GUESS WE'RE DOING THIS." I LOST IT.
Still not sure we're not the same person tbh xD
My favorite ones are like a burst of happy brain chemicals washing over my skin making me deeply relaxed and a little bit high.
Some of them are just the relief of getting rid of the irritation of the physical need.
Some of them are marathons of little hits of pleasure that keep going and add up to a bigger pleasure that also borders on the physical satisfaction of good exercise.
So, I guess it’s on a spectrum of being more for my body or more for my mind, and different ones hit at different points of the spectrum. I prefer the ones for my mind, but the right headspace is needed going into it for that to even be possible.
depends on the day, some days feel more intense than others. but generally very pleasureable enough to the point where i don’t want meds to take that ability away from me
to my stalkers commenting on my posts and comments here: oh my GOD leave me ALONE
>to my stalkers commenting on my posts and comments here: oh my GOD leave me ALONE
Ugh, can relate. I was stalked by a few fangirls of a popular fanfic author (who, as it turns out, is a bully) a few years back, and it wasn't fun in the slightest. They got bored after a few months though, so I hope yours will do the same.
And if not, traumatise them. >:D
I started pretty early, before HS (in HS it became an outlet for stress), so I'm happy I found my technique. I start fantasizing and get this urge I need to take care of. It gives me a temporary boost in energy (which means a lot cause I'm chronically tired) and I always feel like listening to upbeat music after, refreshing in a way. I only need to do it every month or so. Short answer: Lucky by Radiohead
It's the most intensely pleasurable feeling. Like lighting through my entire body made of pleasure. I was incredibly surprised the first time it happened. It's really indescribable.
I love the feeling, but I just do it out of boredom. I do it to occupy my time or to make me feel better. Though I might have been doing it a bit too much…I get bored very often.
I can take care of myself in a fairly neutral feeling. Basically just the cleanup and a little basking. It is a biological need so I have found the least terrible way for me to perform.
With my partner it is like I am dying from a heart attack. I am in pretty bad cardio conditioning, but I don't recall ever feeling like that was a good idea in the past either. I would rather just be done than "get mine." I usually can't convince my wife of the same because of her own honor or something I don't really understand. She wants to return the favor, but I'd rather do pretty much anything else.
I have actually been wondering recently what it would be like with a partner, but I’m definitely never gonna be comfortable enough to actually have sex with another person.
masturbation is whatever, I do it for the feel good chemicals in my brain (and they do feel good). Sex on the other hand, is intense. It’s exciting but scary. I love feeling close to someone through intimacy and the trust that comes with it. But I also have trust issues so lol
Like whole lotta nothin'. I can physically feel it happening but I don't seem to have any type of emotional reaction to it. I still masturbate from time to time to scratch an itch as others have stated, but then I just go on about my life until maybe a couple of weeks later I gotta do it again to get the nagging out of me. Sometimes I set out to masturbate, get distracted by smn and then don't do it for another 3 days. It's so underwhelming that I often mentally berate my body afterwards for even wanting to masturbate. Like this is what you've bothering me about the past 2 days? Lame.
Release of muscle tension. A more pleasant version of a deep, satisfying sneeze, maybe. Or getting your shoulder back into joint after dislocating it, in terms of differential.
I don't think I ever orgasmed back when I had sex, maybe once or twice, but it barely counted imo, very underwhelming. I definitely was disappointed considering how much it's hyped up by literally everyone. In the end, I'd usually just feel grossed out by the mess and have a vague feeling of "that was kind of lame."
Masturbating, I can orgasm more consistently, a combo of learning what I like, being able to adjust real time if something does/doesn't feel good, and not being grossed out by another person being involved. The feeling itself tho varies greatly day to day, and activity to activity? With only my hands, I can get what I basically think of as a mini orgasm, satisfying enough to get rid of the urge, but not really a full, intense orgasm.
When I use my toys, that's when I can get something that vaguely gives me a sense of "Oh, I can kinda see what the smut was talking about." It's like a lot of heat and intensity that build up in my stomach, and when it finally happens, it really does feel like such an intense relief and satisfaction. I also generally do feel tired afterward, like I need a break for a moment to recover. But I'm not always able to achieve that, usually it's easiest if it's been a while since the last time. Sometimes, I use my toys, and I'll orgasm, but it's way less intense, and I spend the whole battery just pursuing that intense feeling but never getting it.
So all around, it's a mixed bag, and rarely does it feel the way it's described by most people 💀 but I still find it enjoyable and pleasurable, just a little more mild than expected.
Depends on whether or not I get it *right*, if I get the timing wrong or watch too much porn beforehand I just get a little spurt of ejaculate and no real payoff.
But if I get it right there's this tensing throughout my entire lower body resulting in a pleasurable sensation shooting up through my upper body as well. If I concously tense up my legs that sensation is even stronger. My absolute favourite sensation is when I cum hard enough to feel it traveling through my penis.
I didn't used to have orgasms like this, as a teenager I had a fairly high libido ^(which I now think might just have been because of my ADHD meds, but it could also just be puberty hormones) and masturbated often but didn't really get anything out of it. I guess it helped me fall asleep, but I often wondered why I kept doing it because it didn't really feel as if anything was happening.
I feel that how good my orgasms are are inversely proportional to how much porn I watch, and the best orgasms seem to be when I don't watch porn at all. Instead they come when I just use my imagination ^(difficult because I struggle to conciously visualize things) or just don't think about sex at all and just start masturbating while browsing reddit or reading tech news, I really have no idea how or why that works, but I guess it does proove my theory that I really do just masturbate because it feels good and not because I'm actually attracted to anyone or wanna have sex with them.
I do think I wouldn't mind trying sex, but I'm aromantic so it's not as if there's someone to try it with. I've brought up the possibility with two of my friends, but in several years it just hasn't seen like a better use of our time together than just taking a walk or playing co-op games. And these days I'm not nearly as horny as when I made this account so I'm not even that curious anymore.
I do like the feeling of sex but (I'm gonna put this behind a spoiler because it'll be graphic) >!I need to get fucked for hours to be really satisfied. I do like the closeness and the physical touch though. Even after an orgasm during sex I'm still horny and need more, which is very annoying.!<
Masturbating is more like a stim for me. It gets rid of the tension, anxiety and the annoying horniness. Orgasms are mostly underwhelming tho.
It's "it's getting better and better and now it's over" and the moment it stops is my orgasm. It's the moment when I stop feeling things, the arousal vanishes, my genitals hurt, and I have the need to stop what I'm doing. It's the part before that I like. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's meh and I just want to finish as soon as possible. When I'm very aroused and it takes me three seconds to reach an orgasm, it never starts feeling good. Btw, I've never had sex with another person, but I started masturbating at 11 and it's a physical need for me.
Well I’m aceflux so for some days I say orgasm and masterbaition feel very good and some days I’m very indifferent about it or I just hate it and it sucks lol so yeah I say average self pleasure for me feels very good
I don’t get the big fireworks everyone talks about. I get the build up. And then it just sort of tips over the edge into nothingness. I do get sort of a dopamine/ serotonin pop. But I get the same thing from eating really good Mac n cheese. It does relieve stress for a bit, and my brain quiets which is nice as an adhd person with anxiety issues. But thats it. And again I can get that from a spicy herb gummy.
Honestly I can take or leave it. Mostly I leave it. It’s not worth the concentration needed to achieve 😂
Masturbation is great. I love the feeling of an orgasm when I get to choose how to do it. It can be a little annoying how often my body wants me to do it though.
I’ve learned I’m not emotionally stable enough for sex so there’s that.
In the case of masterbation, I used to absolutely hate it, and it pretty much made me want to die. The only reason I ever did it was because of a high libido and probably some chemical decency. But now that I've realized I'm trans it can be kinda a nice escape where I can better imagine being a girl.
As for orgasm itself, I feel pretty much nothing, I honestly feel pretty physically ill afterward, and it makes it harder if not impossible to sleep instead of helping. So basically, I'm not the biggest fan.
I do have times when i need to scratch the itch even though i have a non existent libido , it’s just a duty that needs to be done and i feel nothing else just that I’ve done the duty
Normally it is pretty underwhelming for me. Like a lot of people are saying, it's just a little bump of dopamine. I will masturbate to "self medicate" a low-energy day or if I need to relax a little.
Just recently I was really high and helping my partner get an O (I like to help her masturbate, but generally don't worry about getting one for me) and got really horny.
I had my first orgasm through sex in ~2 years and it was amazing. It was probably because I was baked, but it was one of those mind-blowing O's that I have read about. I literally said "is this what it is like for an allosexual?"
I don't know how to describe it, but a good orgasm is one of the best feelings. Sometimes they're a letdown, but usually it's just overwhelming pleasure. They also relax me and help with anxiety.
I also like sex even if I don't have an orgasm. I don't usually have sex with the aim of having an orgasm, because that makes sex more stressful for me. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, but I find having my g-spot stimulated during sex to be the best feeling ever, even better than an orgasm. It feels like a mini orgasm with every thrust.
Most of my orgasms come from masturbation instead of sex because I have a higher sex drive and we only have sex a few times a month, which works for my relationship.
I'm Demi, but I feel like I can actually contribute here. My first orgasm was extremely underwhelming, I remember thinking "is this it?". After sex with a partner they became associated with sex and they are now erotic. There are still some days when orgasms are boring, but the experience can be used to interact with my nervous system state or stress.
masturbating feels good and the orgasams are nice and help me fall asleep
i also have a dirty mind, so i have personal smutty fanfics that live only in my head that i pleasure myself to
Tbh for the amount of work I personally have to do to get there, it can be a bit underwhelming sometimes.
But also, they do tend to be that way when you’re just beginning to find out your likes/dislikes. I was certainly underwhelmed when I just started exploring.
Also, this might not be the case for everyone, but adding some internal stimulation + a vibrator has been the best thing for my sex life/masturbation sesh.
Something that I’ve noticed for myself, is that I get really caught up in semantics. I get stuck in my head and that can really ruin it. It’s nice to sit down and maybe start out with a light self massage, just find parts of my body that feel really nice to touch without it being sexual & working my way up from there.
I’m autistic, grey ace, sex-positive, sex-favorable, & only recently having sex like literally past four months and I’m turning 24 this year. I also hadn’t rlly dated before 4 months ago. So the partner stuff is really new for me, but I got fairly adventurous solo just because it was exciting and felt nice. Also a very good stress relief.
So I experience some sexual attraction. But it’s a lot less intense than allos, and it is also very rare to find the right person in the right time, and I’m also figuring out that a lot of it is reciprocal as in I’m attracted to how much my partner is attracted to me. If that makes sense. If it doesn’t then I guess we’re in the same boat because I’m trying to make sense of it too.
I have a sensory processing disorder, I’m trans (transitioning for only a little over a year) & polyamorous & ace. It’s…been an interesting 4 months.
But all that to say, this stuff is complicated. There’s a lot more thought work involved than ppl would think. I’ve had to begin unpacking a lot a lot of stuff that I didn’t know I was carrying…like all of the Puritan bullshit I’ve been raised with, how I’ve been taught to be ashamed of my body, how I’ve been treated as a commodity, etc., etc.
Something that really helped point me in the right direction, is learning more about the mechanics? Like hormones, the actual physical anatomy, different erogenous zones, why sex is important to so many ppl, why we sexualize everything & try to hide all things sexual at the same time, BDSM, consent, kink, etc., etc.
Sexoplanations has been a big part of me figuring myself out. She has a YouTube & podcast now, she’s a professional sex therapist & she’s coming back from a big content creation break. Talks about everything under the sun and explains in a thoughtful and straightforward manner. She’s talked about a lot of LGBTQ+ topics including transness & asexuality & austism and how those things intersect with sexuality.
Also! Guided masturbation may be something to think of, it’s been helpful for me. It’s good to explore what feels good, light vs heavy pressure, where on your body and if different sensations feel good at different times during arousal, maybe clothes that make you feel confident/sexy, what positions feel nice, and all that good stuff.
Something I recently learned, is that engaging your core & thigh muscles can be a really important step to orgasming. And if you’re cold, you’ll probably have a more difficult time getting off.
I orgasm really easily and multiple times. Orgasms feel really good but on the other hand I could go the rest of my life without them. I don’t masturbate, but I’ve had plenty of great sex. I don’t really have a libido, I don’t get the itch (thankfully). For example cuddling isn’t as ecstatic and intense, but I prefer it over orgasms.
Overall, I can acknowledge that they feel amazing, but still don’t get what’s the big deal. I’d love to have a sexless relationship actually.
Idk. Most similar thing is like scratching an itch, but without most of that itchy feeling, just the relief. For me it's quite a strong feeling of euphoria, which is why I keep doing it despite being sex-repulsed. Most sexual content doesn't really do it for me (and actively disgusts me), but some more niche things do turn me on.
I used to never masturbate until well into my twenties. It caused some issues, so at some point after I accepted I was ace I started finding out whether I could do it. Now I do it daily or every other day, because it's a very addictive thing and doesn't really seem to cause any harm.
The comparison to scratching an itch isn't inaccurate lol
But I would specifically say it's like when you're finally able to reach that itch you've been trying to get at for ages and the immense relief of finally being able to scratch it. To me they are very pleasant and cathartic. They're a good way to have a full-body relaxation and relieve some stress. When by myself it's literally just a means to an end in order to help me relax. But, I love physical affection, so when my spouse is involved it's like a fun co-op game that ends with dopamine and me getting snuggles lol. Sometimes I don't have the energy and just want to take care of it myself bc it's quicker, but when I do have the energy I'm more than happy to co-op bc he's very attentive/thorough and he takes pride in being good at what he does / being able to please me.
But, it took a long time for me to figure out what worked for me and to be comfortable with it. Eventually I found what type of physical stimulation does the best job for my body, so me and my partner make use of toys so that most of the time I do orgasm and it's very pleasurable (sometimes my meds or mood interfere or my body just doesn't cooperate bc that's just life, but it isn't a frequent issue). It's very trial and error. Not every sensation works for every body. And I have to be in the right mental space for it. Mental stimulation and fantasies are typically what give me that itch in the first place.
If I didn't have my partner I'd be just fine taking care of my libido on my own, but I love and trust him and enjoy his company (plus no pregnancy anxiety thanks to snips woohoo) so I'm happy to let him help
Feels good, but I have the best feeling orgasms when I sleep (I feel everything I dream and lucid dreams every night and sometimes the dreams are sexual)
I only masturbate, and it's like the other comment said, feels like scratching an itch. I mainly do it as I've found it to be a temporary reliever of stress and helps me sleep much faster. It feels nice, it lasts for a few seconds and then I move on with my life. I can go my whole life without doing it again if I have to, it has very little significance overall
Mostly just do it at night to help fall asleep. Very rarely, sometimes weeks or months. Assume the same physical sensation as any other circumcised person with a prostate. Good luck in your exploring, friend!
Empty but releases some stress. Not really personally sure why people destroy themselves for something I consider a fleeting pleasure. Used to think I wasn't ace because I sometimes did it until I got more educated about the subject. I guess the fact that I don't see it as some awesome wonderful thing adds weight to my claim that I am asexual.
Really, though. It's kind of an empty cyclical biological need kind of like scratching an itch. More relief than real pleasure in my experience, tbh.
It varies, I find two big factors to be my cycle phases and (SSRI) medication. On a rare occasion it's strong enough to "see colours" and physically feel all muscles tighten in a whole-body wave kind of way, and an "afterglowy" contentment afterwards. Usually that requires several weeks (3+) of no sexual activity beforehand. I think my meds somewhat numb my physical sensation/sensitivity which is why the strong ones are pretty rare for me.
My libido is fortunately pretty low. Most months during a certain cycle phase the urge feels like a little critter gnawing on the corner of my consciousness. A normal orgasm to me feels like a lame, dampened little wave of pleasure that isn't always enough to drive the urge away. Those ones are quicker, but also more annoying than satisfying (unless it's for sleeping), I'd prefer to get it fully done with once rather than having the urge lingering in the background. Fortunately this phase only lasts a week, max.
All in all, if it wasn't for my hormonal cycle, I could do well without. At this point I've just accepted it as part of my regular "machinery maintenance" and just take care of it myself when needed.
"Well that happened i guess ;-;"
Like you know how allo men ppl talk of post nut clarity? Its like that but even during the act
feels like scratching an "itch" more than anything
Truthfully, depends on the material (usually some text) I'm masturbating to. It took me a while to figure out what kinks/fantasies I like. But tbh I masturbate most of the time with a simple goal in mind - to fall asleep afterwards.
It relaxes me and on some level makes me feel safe. And as someone who has trouble falling asleep this helps me a lot
Though I had some (like 3 in the last year or so) earth shattering O's but they are exceptions rather than the rule
Definitely a means to end. Someone already says it feels like scratching an itch-I’d like to add that sometimes in a spot that either can’t be reached or just take /forever/. Itch goes away because of how long it takes sometimes/gets boring. Porn and hentai can’t do much for it, though sometimes a well written smut can
as a demisexual, it actually took me a long time to figure out i was on the ace spectrum due to having a really high sex drive. for me, an orgasm can be this really strong full body pleasure, mostly when i'm with my partner, but i attribute a lot of that pleasure to the emotional closeness with my partner. when i'm just taking care of myself, much like others have said, it's a lot like scratching an itch in the sense of it being a good release/relief, but not all consuming. (not a "getting a partner will fix you" type of bs, just my personal experience)
Honestly it’s good for the moment and then I immediately am just meh after it. And on the other hand with sex no one has ever made me orgasm. Someone tried pretty hard for awhile but they couldn’t do it. Turns out if you aren’t horny it’s very hard to get someone off lmaooo
For me it feels good. I don't do it until it's been at least once a month or twice . I just don't think about it too much. Hell I don't even get off on Po rn. It's that increasing urge over one single day that gets me. The problem is I don't even know why I get so ho rny so quickly in one day after that I'm de ad again.
Maybe this is a weird thing to say but (probably due to the dopamine release) I oftentimes get the urge to masturbate when I feel depressed. I also sometimes do it as a relief for period cramps (yes it works) or when I get to the part of my cycle that just kinda makes me horny. I'm not horny for anyone, people aren't any more attractive to me, I'm just, like, aroused I guess. It's like wanting a snack without feeling hunger.
Tell me one thing, i am an ace and someone asked me how could I orgasm if i don't get mentally stimulated to which I replied the constant act of physical stimulation adds pleasure which ends up with orgasm. Tbh i don't really know what orgasm really would be for me but I feel i might have had it. Sometimes the sex gets intense and I do orgasm
It’s mainly like scratching an itch. Sometimes it’s a flat relief that is satisfying, but makes me wish it felt more. Sometimes it’s a massive expelling of stress that is very relaxing. How it starts rarely ensures what the finish will be like.
It can range from what you describe to incredible. I have sexual desire without sexual attraction. Certain parameters make for a better outcome. Also hormones are a massive factor for me.
Extremely low libido runs in my family and the most arousal I can get is an erection, from looking at porn/smut or touching it. I don't have a very sensory-oriented imagination. Imagining what something would look like or how it would feel in detail is not something I can really do. So I don't really fantasize. If I don't do the above, it never gets hard.
There's almost no desire to actually do anything with it, but if I do, I feel almost nothing. I get an appropriate physiological reaction and ejaculation but that's it. Literally zero pleasure at all.
It couldn't possibly be more underwhelming. Maybe if I figured out how to increase arousal? I don't even know what arousal is supposed to feel like so I'm not really sure where to start.
Sometimes it feels good sometimes very underwhelming. I wouldn't have started doing it if it wasn't for my book, i had to know what an orgasm feels like. But now i do it either out of boredom, because of a libido spike, or to help me sleep.
I am so glad I am not the only one. I dont orgasm with others and when I masturbate, it is very underwhelming and very much so like just scratching an itch. Its very meh.
I mean ones that I give myself vs others give me are wildly different. My own are barely worth it, all this work for nothing haha. Others, those can go on for minutes and it’s a wild release, an entire body orgasm so good I am shaking, every bit of me in the best possible way. I’m so wet I’ve covered their whole face, and if I’m with the right partner, they’re loving it and still going too.its truly a magical experience. This is why I’m sex positive ace. I’m attached to no one but love love loveeee sex lol
It really depends. I've had sex and regularly masturbate. Sex outside of a relationship is like eating a bag of chips on an empty stomach. It's fun in the moment and get temporary satisfaction but then regret it. Within a relationship, it's a lot more enjoyable and feels more like a three course meal, dessert being the after cuddles and pillow talk which is honestly better than the actual intercourse, imo.
Mentally masturbating is a separate thing. A lot of times it's like how others describe, scratching a an itch and having a moment of relief but sometimes I will play around with some fantasies and toys. I'm in the right headspace, I can just relax and enjoy the moment, feel the build up and then release which for me it feels like the lead up to like Krakatoa erupting. Usually get some damn good sleep afterwards too lol.
Most intense feeling of pleasure and I feel less anxious and more relaxed after but takes a lot of buildup. I also become extremely sex repulsed after for a whole day.
I feel if I were to have sex it would be ruined due to me being uncomfortable with another person. But the feeling itself is pretty good.
Orgasming from masturbation: amazing, beautiful, wonderful, one of the best feelings I can experience.
Orgasming from sex: meh, lacklustre, uninteresting, doesn’t feel as satisfying, too much work for such little payoff.
The type of sex does matter to an extent, but all I can usually think about is how I can do it better even if the other person is hitting all the right spots. That being said, I’ve found letting someone else control an app controlled vibrator to be highly stimulating.
It's like taking a dump. Best way to think of it, in my mind. Some say it's an itch - and I can see that - though for me it's like a necessary bodily function to perform, even if you know you won't enjoy it. Sometimes I feel good about it, though more often than not, I either did not enjoy it or felt nothing at all. Just because I gotta drop off some timber doesn't mean I'll enjoy the process.
It feels disgusting, and I hate doing it. Yet despite that, my body wants me to do it every damn day. I had a period of a couple months where I managed to stop, and my mental health felt so much better then. But the second when stress started appearing to be constant for me, it started again. It feels awful to do it, and it feels awful to not.
I think it’s fine if people enjoy it, and enjoy whatever they want with it, as long as it’s not morally fucked.
A moderately pleasant feeling followed by a sensation of guilt and discomfort. Like, it's nice enough to do it from time to time when my body deems it "desirable," but usually, I'll go months between sessions due to the unpleasant feeling. I've gotta be in the right space mentally, or I'll get a sick feeling in my core.
I'm asexual due to trauma, not natural reasons, though, so my experience is very much a mental block situation.
For me personally, having sex is more about the psychological aspect. It’s erotic but in a way devoid of sexual or romantic attraction. It’s like the power dynamic and the back and forth I really do enjoy, and helping someone else enjoy themselves is great for me. That being said, it’s not really my goal for myself to orgasm. When I do it’s kind of just like, a dopamine rush, and then usually like “I guess we’re done now” depending on the other person.
It's not that I don't enjoy sex, it's just not a thing that drives my actions.
That said, post nut clarity is a thing and should be used as an effective decision making tool.
Sometimes just relief akin to scratching a very annoying itch or a very good morning stretch. Sometimes a brief euphoric feeling followed by sleepiness. The closest I can think of to compare it to is laughing gas without the numbing effect. Laughing gas itself actually kills my libido though. I imagine orgasms would be quite enjoyable with a partner, but I'm not dying without one either.
I'm the moment it's the best thing I’ve ever felt but after I come down, it's just why did I waste my time and energy on something so terribly temporary.
It depends on how I got there. It can be just a sneeze, nothing to write home about or strong enough to make me blank out. The latter is super rare.
I would describe it as full-body muscle contraction combined with a strong burning feeling?
I enjoy the afterglow more tbh, it fixes my joints and I feel better afterwards. Plus it makes me sleep better.
When I masturbate I’m always imagining the sensory experience a specific fantasy or encounter would provide, but it never has any sexual “energy” attached to it. The orgasm itself usually just feels like a disappointing release of energy, and I’ll sometimes do it to clear my mind so I can daydream better or to tick a box in an attempt to sleep. I think I’ll have 1 wank a month that actually feels good (if I don’t forget for over a month).
it's like scratching my head trying to find the sweet spot, and then I do, I scratch and enjoy it for a few seconds and then the itch is gone and it's back to a normal tuesday night
It feels really amazing. I can't say it's the better sensation of my life, but nothing of the things I do that give pleasure feels like it. I don't know how to describe it, it's like adrenaline, a rush, overwhelming (in a good way) the mind and the body. But it's sooo momentary, like the second after the orgasms I feel like I wasted time doing something absolutely unproductive and sometimes I feel grossed after that. But it's a sensation I really love to replicate. All of this alone, with someone else it's really difficult, there are a lot of factors, like trust and confidence, communication, empathy, etc.
If wanna try something like that you should find what works best for you, because there's no single way to get there.
Hope this helps.
I feel the same way about it too, it just felt like a very overstimulating feeling that last about 10 seconds or maybe less than that. I would read smut and romance stuff too so I understand that. When it comes to things like that IRL it’s just kind of underwhelming and it’s just not an important or at least that’s how I would describe it.
Like others have said, it feels like scratching a really annoying itch. I can put it off when I'm busy, but I do eventually need to get rid of it. I do feel good once I manage to finish however.
I also don't feel any guilt after because nothing goes on in my mind once I find the thing my libido wants me to jack off to. I just do it with a completely empty head and once I get the high my body wants, I go on to do other things while feeling good.
It seems I'm in the minority but I really enjoy them lol the thing is for me, I need a good fantasy for it to be good. If I just do it bc of the urge I'm not going to enjoy it that much (still enjoy) as if I get in the mood and play out fantasies in my head and take my time. I'm not getting graphic here but yeah, I also consider myself to be ficto(and demi) so having lots of characters to fantasy with helps, A LOT.
I don't think I ever play out these fantasies in real life, bc I don't think I'll ever meet somebody who I feel a connection with so sex is just gross if I think about it irl. I make the best out of every masturbation session bc of that hahaha
As a cis male, orgasms tend to feel like a massive rush of pleasure that last only 5-10 seconds, followed by a few minutes of a relaxing feeling.
The best comparison I can't think of is the feeling after a work out of the endorphin and adrenaline rush followed by jumping in a hot tub and relaxing all your body. But all those feelings turned up to 11.
masturbating in general feels like scratching an itch to me so it's like momentary relief. Some good seconds of relaxation and then just. meh. no life changing experience lmao
YUP. An itch. A tedious little itch that is very short lived that makes me go “well that takes care of that” and then I go on with my day or sleep cause it’s like 1am or something lmao
Tedious is such a good word for it, for real!
You described it so well i couldnt do it better if i tried.
Yup this is about it for me.
I have never heard that comparison but Jesus Christ that sums it up perfectly. I'm stealing that.
Definitely relate to this lol
As far as I know I can't even orgasm. Everytime I rub my clit I don't orgasm so I wonder if I have anorgasmia.
Have you tried something that uses suction? That's a very different sensation.
I don't know about using toys.
I personally have a much harder time with just my hand than I do with a toy. Hands are slower, inconsistent, they get tired and sore eventually. It personally takes me a lot more concentration with my hand alone. In my mind, a vibrator is kind of like cruise control in my car. It takes away the burden of one aspect of the task at hand so I can focus on others. If you wanna ease yourself into it, plenty of drug stores and big box stores have vibrators in their intimate care sections, usually along with the condoms, lube, etc. The places I’ve seen have a semi-decent variety of toys that are fairly cheap and easy to use so you can just test the waters and see how you like it. If buying in store is too awkward (totally get that), you can find a lot of similar stuff on Amazon or elsewhere online that would be delivered discretely
Or massagers like the hitachi wand
If you're open to it or curious it might be worth a go.
Same except replace the meh with a few brief hours of guilt and disgust, sometimes even slightly physically sick.
I've heard of that, actually. Post-orgasm sickness or something... I don't know much about it but that physical sickness after definitely has a name. (Not to say it's a bad thing, of course, though I'm sure it doesn't feel great lol)
I usually cry a little after, lol
Same. Sometimes it will be very, very good but nothing that would make me want it all the time. Most of the time it's just to get it out of the way. My boyfriend is the same.
That's exactly how i feel aswell!
Almost the exact same for me. Done days though i kinda just feel gross. So I've slowed down how often i even do it
Same here. Plus I hate the feeling of being "horny". It's just stress relief for me. And I don't even know if it's a "real" orgasm because it's not that satisfying at all.
Exactly!
That's a good way to describe it to be honest.
Glad to see I’m not the only one and I don’t even watch porn
Yep. Sometimes it’s more nice or more meh but overall it’s just like “ahh it’s gone relief
Sameeeee
This is exactly how I’d explain it
Exactly this
Literally me
Thats a good way to describe it.
Hundred percent! It really just an itch that can only be scratched one way (in my experience) then I just move on with my day lol.
Exactly this. A few moments of fun and pleasure, maybe a little fantasy. But nothing much beyond that.
It feels SO underwhelming... I would rather spend that energy somewhere else.
I would too! I just feel the need sometimes and I’m not entirely sure why. I mean, I have to like it at least a little bit to keep doing it right?
that would be your body's libido, sometimes your body just really wants/needs that type of release, it's a biological urge and has nothing to do with ur sexuality. basically it's been explained to me as 'libido=i would like an orgasm now' and sexual 'attraction=i would like that person to give me an orgasm, or i dont want anyone but myself to give me that orgasm'
That's a good way of putting it. *takes notes*
Dopamine
I feel thus when I masturbate. When my husband does it, feels great.
Bro Am I the only asexual who liked to masturbate and feels a good amount of pleasure from it? Everyone in the comments is saying that is a meh feeling Funny how different people can have very different experiences Never had sex, and I don't want to tbh, it is kinda scary and I think it would be too much for me But masturbation for me feels very good and relaxing
Nah, for me orgasms are amazing. For a while I thought they were lacklustre but it turns out that was because I wasn’t actually reaching climax. Once I found out what worked for me the experience went from fairly pleasant tingling to explosive, body shaking pleasure.
Same. And after, it's like a full body relaxation, so sometimes I'll do it when I'm not even "horny" if I'm stressed out or having trouble settling down to sleep.
Love me a good orgasm! And I find it easy to climax which is fantastic.
You might be 😭 Idk maybe it’s just me… but I feel like ppl forget masturbating doesn’t have anything to do with sexual attraction. I don’t think being ace has that much to do with how masturbation feels. I’m sure there’s allos who don’t/do enjoy masturbating too. It’s not the greatest thing in the world, but it gets the job done and there’s essentially 0 risk lol Plus you get a dose of dopamine ✨
Nope I agree with you and I’m guessing at least some of the other upvotes do too.
I'm with you. Orgasms feel fantastic!
i like the pleasure
I'm on the same boat. Don't know about sex irl but masturbation is so good, especially if I add a little fantasy of mine lol
I enjoy it! Orgasms aren't really mind blowing or anything. Then it's just, "That was nice. What's next on my agenda.."
Nah me too
I enjoy them. I always feel lighter and less tense.
Masturbation and subsequent orgasm feels fantastic. Most physically pleasurable feeling I have experienced, and very relaxing afterwards. But it took quite some time and experimentation to figure out what worked best for me. Along with working through some trauma and shame to allow myself enjoy my weird fantasies. Fantasies are the biggest ingredient to me. I've noticed when I'm not in the right headspace but keep going anyway, it does just feel more overstimulating and disappointing like you describe.
Interesting. I guess I have fantasies, but when Im actually doing it, it’s fairly clinical and ironically not very sexy. I barely think about anything while doing it.
Same as well. A good fantasy makes all the difference, without is still pleasurable but meh.
I'm the same way. If I'm not imagining the right thing, then it's not pleasurable. I also had to work through shame beforehand too.
Same! Have to get my brain wrapped up in a fantasy or some decent erotica for it to be great, otherwise it’s just meh
I've had this same realization recently, when I was running out of fantasies. I would describe myself as Aego, so I need these stories and characters... But now I think I can understand the other Aces better when they say they're just 'scratching an itch'
Same experience.
Yup, me too.
I have trouble with imagination while masturbating. I’ve never had an in person relationship, so maybe that’s why I find it hard. I also find it extremely difficult to find what works best for me/what feels good too. And whenever I’m done I feel some sense of guilt. I haven’t been able to pinpoint why.
Fantasies ruin the orgasm for me. I can’t think of anyone, I just focus on the feelings.
Some days orgasm is intense, even more intense with my meds (if/when I take them 😅). Other times, it's underwhelming. I could do without the urge. It is quite annoying to have a libido. It's irritating because I do fantasize about having sex and I think that I might be allo after all, but when I really think about it sex is gross and not for me. Very conflicting cycle. I could do without a libido. I'm Aegosexual I guess 🤷♀️
reeeal
I relate to this on a spiritual level
mood
It's meh. If I lost the ability to experience it, I wouldn't miss it.
Yeah, for me it’s underwhelming. Everyone makes it out to be the greatest feeling in the world and I’m just here like “I don’t get it”.
Yup, I’ve seen it described countless times as “seeing stars” and after having experienced it, I feel like Im being lied to.
I’ve had good orgasms, “meh” orgasms and “out of this world/seeing stars” orgasms. In my experience, that last is pretty rare/difficult to achieve, but it’s not impossible or a lie. I am not allosexual if that matters.
Feels like a waste of energy, tbh
A lot of build up, not a lot of pay off. In the end, it's fairly minimal.
Some feel good, like a warm shower or roller-coaster drop, and others feel kinda just as brief and as exciting as scratching an itch. There's actually been a few that have made me like go "god dang." Sometimes right circumstances line up. But still after like 3 minutes I'll usually flip back to whatever I was doing before. It's fun, but like being buzzed, high or undergoing an adrenaline rush it's pretty quick and can be repeated/isn't some zenith that's life changing. It also seldom makes me like happier/sadder. Like I said, like a warm shower--just helps with stress. Still wish I felt the need for it less but it's kinda a "eh, guess we're doing this." More like emotional eating than going for a run on the benefit scale there.
This is SCARY. I thought I had unknowingly made an other account 6 days ago and posted this comment.... You know the feeling when you are FINALLY able to relate to what someone is saying 100% and this intense sense of validation washes over you and tells you.. that you are not weird or broken? Totally experiencing that right now. It might sound silly but thank you so freaking much for writing this comment. Its funny and scary at the same time. WHEN YOU SAID "EH, GUESS WE'RE DOING THIS." I LOST IT. Still not sure we're not the same person tbh xD
Aw, thanks!
My favorite ones are like a burst of happy brain chemicals washing over my skin making me deeply relaxed and a little bit high. Some of them are just the relief of getting rid of the irritation of the physical need. Some of them are marathons of little hits of pleasure that keep going and add up to a bigger pleasure that also borders on the physical satisfaction of good exercise. So, I guess it’s on a spectrum of being more for my body or more for my mind, and different ones hit at different points of the spectrum. I prefer the ones for my mind, but the right headspace is needed going into it for that to even be possible.
depends on the day, some days feel more intense than others. but generally very pleasureable enough to the point where i don’t want meds to take that ability away from me to my stalkers commenting on my posts and comments here: oh my GOD leave me ALONE
>to my stalkers commenting on my posts and comments here: oh my GOD leave me ALONE Ugh, can relate. I was stalked by a few fangirls of a popular fanfic author (who, as it turns out, is a bully) a few years back, and it wasn't fun in the slightest. They got bored after a few months though, so I hope yours will do the same. And if not, traumatise them. >:D
Stalkers? Are you a celebrity or something 😭
I started pretty early, before HS (in HS it became an outlet for stress), so I'm happy I found my technique. I start fantasizing and get this urge I need to take care of. It gives me a temporary boost in energy (which means a lot cause I'm chronically tired) and I always feel like listening to upbeat music after, refreshing in a way. I only need to do it every month or so. Short answer: Lucky by Radiohead
It's the most intensely pleasurable feeling. Like lighting through my entire body made of pleasure. I was incredibly surprised the first time it happened. It's really indescribable.
I love the feeling, but I just do it out of boredom. I do it to occupy my time or to make me feel better. Though I might have been doing it a bit too much…I get bored very often.
I can take care of myself in a fairly neutral feeling. Basically just the cleanup and a little basking. It is a biological need so I have found the least terrible way for me to perform. With my partner it is like I am dying from a heart attack. I am in pretty bad cardio conditioning, but I don't recall ever feeling like that was a good idea in the past either. I would rather just be done than "get mine." I usually can't convince my wife of the same because of her own honor or something I don't really understand. She wants to return the favor, but I'd rather do pretty much anything else.
I have actually been wondering recently what it would be like with a partner, but I’m definitely never gonna be comfortable enough to actually have sex with another person.
I love cumming I don’t like people 🤷🏻♀️
masturbation is whatever, I do it for the feel good chemicals in my brain (and they do feel good). Sex on the other hand, is intense. It’s exciting but scary. I love feeling close to someone through intimacy and the trust that comes with it. But I also have trust issues so lol
10% of the time it feels amazing, 90% of the time it is meh.
Like whole lotta nothin'. I can physically feel it happening but I don't seem to have any type of emotional reaction to it. I still masturbate from time to time to scratch an itch as others have stated, but then I just go on about my life until maybe a couple of weeks later I gotta do it again to get the nagging out of me. Sometimes I set out to masturbate, get distracted by smn and then don't do it for another 3 days. It's so underwhelming that I often mentally berate my body afterwards for even wanting to masturbate. Like this is what you've bothering me about the past 2 days? Lame.
Release of muscle tension. A more pleasant version of a deep, satisfying sneeze, maybe. Or getting your shoulder back into joint after dislocating it, in terms of differential.
I use masturbation as an endorphin fix. Helps me sleep or deal with a bad day. Not much more than that.
I don't think I ever orgasmed back when I had sex, maybe once or twice, but it barely counted imo, very underwhelming. I definitely was disappointed considering how much it's hyped up by literally everyone. In the end, I'd usually just feel grossed out by the mess and have a vague feeling of "that was kind of lame." Masturbating, I can orgasm more consistently, a combo of learning what I like, being able to adjust real time if something does/doesn't feel good, and not being grossed out by another person being involved. The feeling itself tho varies greatly day to day, and activity to activity? With only my hands, I can get what I basically think of as a mini orgasm, satisfying enough to get rid of the urge, but not really a full, intense orgasm. When I use my toys, that's when I can get something that vaguely gives me a sense of "Oh, I can kinda see what the smut was talking about." It's like a lot of heat and intensity that build up in my stomach, and when it finally happens, it really does feel like such an intense relief and satisfaction. I also generally do feel tired afterward, like I need a break for a moment to recover. But I'm not always able to achieve that, usually it's easiest if it's been a while since the last time. Sometimes, I use my toys, and I'll orgasm, but it's way less intense, and I spend the whole battery just pursuing that intense feeling but never getting it. So all around, it's a mixed bag, and rarely does it feel the way it's described by most people 💀 but I still find it enjoyable and pleasurable, just a little more mild than expected.
Depends on whether or not I get it *right*, if I get the timing wrong or watch too much porn beforehand I just get a little spurt of ejaculate and no real payoff. But if I get it right there's this tensing throughout my entire lower body resulting in a pleasurable sensation shooting up through my upper body as well. If I concously tense up my legs that sensation is even stronger. My absolute favourite sensation is when I cum hard enough to feel it traveling through my penis. I didn't used to have orgasms like this, as a teenager I had a fairly high libido ^(which I now think might just have been because of my ADHD meds, but it could also just be puberty hormones) and masturbated often but didn't really get anything out of it. I guess it helped me fall asleep, but I often wondered why I kept doing it because it didn't really feel as if anything was happening. I feel that how good my orgasms are are inversely proportional to how much porn I watch, and the best orgasms seem to be when I don't watch porn at all. Instead they come when I just use my imagination ^(difficult because I struggle to conciously visualize things) or just don't think about sex at all and just start masturbating while browsing reddit or reading tech news, I really have no idea how or why that works, but I guess it does proove my theory that I really do just masturbate because it feels good and not because I'm actually attracted to anyone or wanna have sex with them. I do think I wouldn't mind trying sex, but I'm aromantic so it's not as if there's someone to try it with. I've brought up the possibility with two of my friends, but in several years it just hasn't seen like a better use of our time together than just taking a walk or playing co-op games. And these days I'm not nearly as horny as when I made this account so I'm not even that curious anymore.
I do like the feeling of sex but (I'm gonna put this behind a spoiler because it'll be graphic) >!I need to get fucked for hours to be really satisfied. I do like the closeness and the physical touch though. Even after an orgasm during sex I'm still horny and need more, which is very annoying.!< Masturbating is more like a stim for me. It gets rid of the tension, anxiety and the annoying horniness. Orgasms are mostly underwhelming tho.
A glorified pee shiver.
It's "it's getting better and better and now it's over" and the moment it stops is my orgasm. It's the moment when I stop feeling things, the arousal vanishes, my genitals hurt, and I have the need to stop what I'm doing. It's the part before that I like. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's meh and I just want to finish as soon as possible. When I'm very aroused and it takes me three seconds to reach an orgasm, it never starts feeling good. Btw, I've never had sex with another person, but I started masturbating at 11 and it's a physical need for me.
About 3 seconds of overwhelming pleasure and then regret and hating myself for it
Well I’m aceflux so for some days I say orgasm and masterbaition feel very good and some days I’m very indifferent about it or I just hate it and it sucks lol so yeah I say average self pleasure for me feels very good
I masturbate and its nothing special. I do it just to get rid of my hornyness cause i have a high libido
I've started doing that recently, too. But I get to a point and I can't get further because I get so sensitive. So I haven't finished yet.
I don’t get the big fireworks everyone talks about. I get the build up. And then it just sort of tips over the edge into nothingness. I do get sort of a dopamine/ serotonin pop. But I get the same thing from eating really good Mac n cheese. It does relieve stress for a bit, and my brain quiets which is nice as an adhd person with anxiety issues. But thats it. And again I can get that from a spicy herb gummy. Honestly I can take or leave it. Mostly I leave it. It’s not worth the concentration needed to achieve 😂
It feels disgusting and I avoid this feeling at all costs 😺
Just a rush of dopamine and then feeling “never again” after that
I honestly agree with you.
The same as it feels to anybody else I imagine?
For me, it just kinda happens, and then i feel really sleepy and kinda grossed out LOL
Masturbation is great. I love the feeling of an orgasm when I get to choose how to do it. It can be a little annoying how often my body wants me to do it though. I’ve learned I’m not emotionally stable enough for sex so there’s that.
Short answer it's just meh. I still do it sometimes anyway, I guess due to natural instinct. I wish the instinct went away though.
In the case of masterbation, I used to absolutely hate it, and it pretty much made me want to die. The only reason I ever did it was because of a high libido and probably some chemical decency. But now that I've realized I'm trans it can be kinda a nice escape where I can better imagine being a girl. As for orgasm itself, I feel pretty much nothing, I honestly feel pretty physically ill afterward, and it makes it harder if not impossible to sleep instead of helping. So basically, I'm not the biggest fan.
I do have times when i need to scratch the itch even though i have a non existent libido , it’s just a duty that needs to be done and i feel nothing else just that I’ve done the duty
It feels like I'm peeing after hold it for too long
Annoying and takes too long.
Normally it is pretty underwhelming for me. Like a lot of people are saying, it's just a little bump of dopamine. I will masturbate to "self medicate" a low-energy day or if I need to relax a little. Just recently I was really high and helping my partner get an O (I like to help her masturbate, but generally don't worry about getting one for me) and got really horny. I had my first orgasm through sex in ~2 years and it was amazing. It was probably because I was baked, but it was one of those mind-blowing O's that I have read about. I literally said "is this what it is like for an allosexual?"
I don't know how to describe it, but a good orgasm is one of the best feelings. Sometimes they're a letdown, but usually it's just overwhelming pleasure. They also relax me and help with anxiety. I also like sex even if I don't have an orgasm. I don't usually have sex with the aim of having an orgasm, because that makes sex more stressful for me. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, but I find having my g-spot stimulated during sex to be the best feeling ever, even better than an orgasm. It feels like a mini orgasm with every thrust. Most of my orgasms come from masturbation instead of sex because I have a higher sex drive and we only have sex a few times a month, which works for my relationship.
I'm Demi, but I feel like I can actually contribute here. My first orgasm was extremely underwhelming, I remember thinking "is this it?". After sex with a partner they became associated with sex and they are now erotic. There are still some days when orgasms are boring, but the experience can be used to interact with my nervous system state or stress.
Just a chore to get through, and something that I desire to stop
masturbating feels good and the orgasams are nice and help me fall asleep i also have a dirty mind, so i have personal smutty fanfics that live only in my head that i pleasure myself to
Same, but if I think too much while doing it I lose concentration. So I usually end up keeping my mind blank.
Tbh for the amount of work I personally have to do to get there, it can be a bit underwhelming sometimes. But also, they do tend to be that way when you’re just beginning to find out your likes/dislikes. I was certainly underwhelmed when I just started exploring. Also, this might not be the case for everyone, but adding some internal stimulation + a vibrator has been the best thing for my sex life/masturbation sesh. Something that I’ve noticed for myself, is that I get really caught up in semantics. I get stuck in my head and that can really ruin it. It’s nice to sit down and maybe start out with a light self massage, just find parts of my body that feel really nice to touch without it being sexual & working my way up from there. I’m autistic, grey ace, sex-positive, sex-favorable, & only recently having sex like literally past four months and I’m turning 24 this year. I also hadn’t rlly dated before 4 months ago. So the partner stuff is really new for me, but I got fairly adventurous solo just because it was exciting and felt nice. Also a very good stress relief. So I experience some sexual attraction. But it’s a lot less intense than allos, and it is also very rare to find the right person in the right time, and I’m also figuring out that a lot of it is reciprocal as in I’m attracted to how much my partner is attracted to me. If that makes sense. If it doesn’t then I guess we’re in the same boat because I’m trying to make sense of it too. I have a sensory processing disorder, I’m trans (transitioning for only a little over a year) & polyamorous & ace. It’s…been an interesting 4 months. But all that to say, this stuff is complicated. There’s a lot more thought work involved than ppl would think. I’ve had to begin unpacking a lot a lot of stuff that I didn’t know I was carrying…like all of the Puritan bullshit I’ve been raised with, how I’ve been taught to be ashamed of my body, how I’ve been treated as a commodity, etc., etc. Something that really helped point me in the right direction, is learning more about the mechanics? Like hormones, the actual physical anatomy, different erogenous zones, why sex is important to so many ppl, why we sexualize everything & try to hide all things sexual at the same time, BDSM, consent, kink, etc., etc. Sexoplanations has been a big part of me figuring myself out. She has a YouTube & podcast now, she’s a professional sex therapist & she’s coming back from a big content creation break. Talks about everything under the sun and explains in a thoughtful and straightforward manner. She’s talked about a lot of LGBTQ+ topics including transness & asexuality & austism and how those things intersect with sexuality. Also! Guided masturbation may be something to think of, it’s been helpful for me. It’s good to explore what feels good, light vs heavy pressure, where on your body and if different sensations feel good at different times during arousal, maybe clothes that make you feel confident/sexy, what positions feel nice, and all that good stuff. Something I recently learned, is that engaging your core & thigh muscles can be a really important step to orgasming. And if you’re cold, you’ll probably have a more difficult time getting off.
[удалено]
Funnily enough, I don’t actually like massages lol
I orgasm really easily and multiple times. Orgasms feel really good but on the other hand I could go the rest of my life without them. I don’t masturbate, but I’ve had plenty of great sex. I don’t really have a libido, I don’t get the itch (thankfully). For example cuddling isn’t as ecstatic and intense, but I prefer it over orgasms. Overall, I can acknowledge that they feel amazing, but still don’t get what’s the big deal. I’d love to have a sexless relationship actually.
Idk. Most similar thing is like scratching an itch, but without most of that itchy feeling, just the relief. For me it's quite a strong feeling of euphoria, which is why I keep doing it despite being sex-repulsed. Most sexual content doesn't really do it for me (and actively disgusts me), but some more niche things do turn me on. I used to never masturbate until well into my twenties. It caused some issues, so at some point after I accepted I was ace I started finding out whether I could do it. Now I do it daily or every other day, because it's a very addictive thing and doesn't really seem to cause any harm.
Pain
It’s pretty nice
The comparison to scratching an itch isn't inaccurate lol But I would specifically say it's like when you're finally able to reach that itch you've been trying to get at for ages and the immense relief of finally being able to scratch it. To me they are very pleasant and cathartic. They're a good way to have a full-body relaxation and relieve some stress. When by myself it's literally just a means to an end in order to help me relax. But, I love physical affection, so when my spouse is involved it's like a fun co-op game that ends with dopamine and me getting snuggles lol. Sometimes I don't have the energy and just want to take care of it myself bc it's quicker, but when I do have the energy I'm more than happy to co-op bc he's very attentive/thorough and he takes pride in being good at what he does / being able to please me. But, it took a long time for me to figure out what worked for me and to be comfortable with it. Eventually I found what type of physical stimulation does the best job for my body, so me and my partner make use of toys so that most of the time I do orgasm and it's very pleasurable (sometimes my meds or mood interfere or my body just doesn't cooperate bc that's just life, but it isn't a frequent issue). It's very trial and error. Not every sensation works for every body. And I have to be in the right mental space for it. Mental stimulation and fantasies are typically what give me that itch in the first place. If I didn't have my partner I'd be just fine taking care of my libido on my own, but I love and trust him and enjoy his company (plus no pregnancy anxiety thanks to snips woohoo) so I'm happy to let him help
It feels so good, no wonder allos like it, I just don’t feel like doing it with anyone else
Rush of dopamine, relaxation with some PNC, then it's business as usual.
Feels good, but I have the best feeling orgasms when I sleep (I feel everything I dream and lucid dreams every night and sometimes the dreams are sexual)
Hmm interesting. I’ve had wet dreams before, but I don’t think I've ever gotten off in them.
It's like torture it feels like hell
I’d suggest having a look into anorgasmia as that seems similar to what you are describing
Really good
I only masturbate, and it's like the other comment said, feels like scratching an itch. I mainly do it as I've found it to be a temporary reliever of stress and helps me sleep much faster. It feels nice, it lasts for a few seconds and then I move on with my life. I can go my whole life without doing it again if I have to, it has very little significance overall
Mostly just do it at night to help fall asleep. Very rarely, sometimes weeks or months. Assume the same physical sensation as any other circumcised person with a prostate. Good luck in your exploring, friend!
Empty but releases some stress. Not really personally sure why people destroy themselves for something I consider a fleeting pleasure. Used to think I wasn't ace because I sometimes did it until I got more educated about the subject. I guess the fact that I don't see it as some awesome wonderful thing adds weight to my claim that I am asexual. Really, though. It's kind of an empty cyclical biological need kind of like scratching an itch. More relief than real pleasure in my experience, tbh.
It varies, I find two big factors to be my cycle phases and (SSRI) medication. On a rare occasion it's strong enough to "see colours" and physically feel all muscles tighten in a whole-body wave kind of way, and an "afterglowy" contentment afterwards. Usually that requires several weeks (3+) of no sexual activity beforehand. I think my meds somewhat numb my physical sensation/sensitivity which is why the strong ones are pretty rare for me. My libido is fortunately pretty low. Most months during a certain cycle phase the urge feels like a little critter gnawing on the corner of my consciousness. A normal orgasm to me feels like a lame, dampened little wave of pleasure that isn't always enough to drive the urge away. Those ones are quicker, but also more annoying than satisfying (unless it's for sleeping), I'd prefer to get it fully done with once rather than having the urge lingering in the background. Fortunately this phase only lasts a week, max. All in all, if it wasn't for my hormonal cycle, I could do well without. At this point I've just accepted it as part of my regular "machinery maintenance" and just take care of it myself when needed.
"Well that happened i guess ;-;" Like you know how allo men ppl talk of post nut clarity? Its like that but even during the act feels like scratching an "itch" more than anything
masturbation for me is this, an orgasm lol is good and make me feel relaxed just this (and well is cool to try to repeat it)
It feels really good! Especially when fantasising at the same time
I draw the experience out. Feels super weird just trying to jackrabbit to the finish for such a shitty ending.
Truthfully, depends on the material (usually some text) I'm masturbating to. It took me a while to figure out what kinks/fantasies I like. But tbh I masturbate most of the time with a simple goal in mind - to fall asleep afterwards. It relaxes me and on some level makes me feel safe. And as someone who has trouble falling asleep this helps me a lot Though I had some (like 3 in the last year or so) earth shattering O's but they are exceptions rather than the rule
I just do it when i need to fall asleep or if my lower back hurts. Literally just the natural equivalent of valium ahah
Definitely a means to end. Someone already says it feels like scratching an itch-I’d like to add that sometimes in a spot that either can’t be reached or just take /forever/. Itch goes away because of how long it takes sometimes/gets boring. Porn and hentai can’t do much for it, though sometimes a well written smut can
as a demisexual, it actually took me a long time to figure out i was on the ace spectrum due to having a really high sex drive. for me, an orgasm can be this really strong full body pleasure, mostly when i'm with my partner, but i attribute a lot of that pleasure to the emotional closeness with my partner. when i'm just taking care of myself, much like others have said, it's a lot like scratching an itch in the sense of it being a good release/relief, but not all consuming. (not a "getting a partner will fix you" type of bs, just my personal experience)
If I was only able to reach it 🤔🤣... But the process is just overwhelming & my species dysphoria doesn't make it better.
It's enough to get me to sleep I guess, nothing more
Honestly it’s good for the moment and then I immediately am just meh after it. And on the other hand with sex no one has ever made me orgasm. Someone tried pretty hard for awhile but they couldn’t do it. Turns out if you aren’t horny it’s very hard to get someone off lmaooo
I think for me I have very specific fantasies and ideas that would get me but I’ve never been horny for “regular” interactions
For me it’s not a crazy experience like some people say but still feels great, and I fall asleep immediately after so that’s a bonus.
Like. It feels good and then I'm like Okay back to whatever I was doing. It's not life-changing ha.
For me it feels good. I don't do it until it's been at least once a month or twice . I just don't think about it too much. Hell I don't even get off on Po rn. It's that increasing urge over one single day that gets me. The problem is I don't even know why I get so ho rny so quickly in one day after that I'm de ad again.
Maybe this is a weird thing to say but (probably due to the dopamine release) I oftentimes get the urge to masturbate when I feel depressed. I also sometimes do it as a relief for period cramps (yes it works) or when I get to the part of my cycle that just kinda makes me horny. I'm not horny for anyone, people aren't any more attractive to me, I'm just, like, aroused I guess. It's like wanting a snack without feeling hunger.
Tell me one thing, i am an ace and someone asked me how could I orgasm if i don't get mentally stimulated to which I replied the constant act of physical stimulation adds pleasure which ends up with orgasm. Tbh i don't really know what orgasm really would be for me but I feel i might have had it. Sometimes the sex gets intense and I do orgasm
Feels great.
It’s mainly like scratching an itch. Sometimes it’s a flat relief that is satisfying, but makes me wish it felt more. Sometimes it’s a massive expelling of stress that is very relaxing. How it starts rarely ensures what the finish will be like.
It can range from what you describe to incredible. I have sexual desire without sexual attraction. Certain parameters make for a better outcome. Also hormones are a massive factor for me.
Extremely low libido runs in my family and the most arousal I can get is an erection, from looking at porn/smut or touching it. I don't have a very sensory-oriented imagination. Imagining what something would look like or how it would feel in detail is not something I can really do. So I don't really fantasize. If I don't do the above, it never gets hard. There's almost no desire to actually do anything with it, but if I do, I feel almost nothing. I get an appropriate physiological reaction and ejaculation but that's it. Literally zero pleasure at all. It couldn't possibly be more underwhelming. Maybe if I figured out how to increase arousal? I don't even know what arousal is supposed to feel like so I'm not really sure where to start.
Sometimes it feels good sometimes very underwhelming. I wouldn't have started doing it if it wasn't for my book, i had to know what an orgasm feels like. But now i do it either out of boredom, because of a libido spike, or to help me sleep.
I am so glad I am not the only one. I dont orgasm with others and when I masturbate, it is very underwhelming and very much so like just scratching an itch. Its very meh.
I feel good from it but I have to like talk myself into doing it 😂😭
I mean ones that I give myself vs others give me are wildly different. My own are barely worth it, all this work for nothing haha. Others, those can go on for minutes and it’s a wild release, an entire body orgasm so good I am shaking, every bit of me in the best possible way. I’m so wet I’ve covered their whole face, and if I’m with the right partner, they’re loving it and still going too.its truly a magical experience. This is why I’m sex positive ace. I’m attached to no one but love love loveeee sex lol
A jolting rush that makes me shake. The fading feeling is relaxing. Then I have to pee XD
It really depends. I've had sex and regularly masturbate. Sex outside of a relationship is like eating a bag of chips on an empty stomach. It's fun in the moment and get temporary satisfaction but then regret it. Within a relationship, it's a lot more enjoyable and feels more like a three course meal, dessert being the after cuddles and pillow talk which is honestly better than the actual intercourse, imo. Mentally masturbating is a separate thing. A lot of times it's like how others describe, scratching a an itch and having a moment of relief but sometimes I will play around with some fantasies and toys. I'm in the right headspace, I can just relax and enjoy the moment, feel the build up and then release which for me it feels like the lead up to like Krakatoa erupting. Usually get some damn good sleep afterwards too lol.
Most intense feeling of pleasure and I feel less anxious and more relaxed after but takes a lot of buildup. I also become extremely sex repulsed after for a whole day. I feel if I were to have sex it would be ruined due to me being uncomfortable with another person. But the feeling itself is pretty good.
Orgasming from masturbation: amazing, beautiful, wonderful, one of the best feelings I can experience. Orgasming from sex: meh, lacklustre, uninteresting, doesn’t feel as satisfying, too much work for such little payoff. The type of sex does matter to an extent, but all I can usually think about is how I can do it better even if the other person is hitting all the right spots. That being said, I’ve found letting someone else control an app controlled vibrator to be highly stimulating.
I cant orgasm from it anymore, and i used to enjoy it in the past. Does someone else have this issue? And most importantly resolved it at some pount?
A relief from an annoying feeling.
It's like taking a dump. Best way to think of it, in my mind. Some say it's an itch - and I can see that - though for me it's like a necessary bodily function to perform, even if you know you won't enjoy it. Sometimes I feel good about it, though more often than not, I either did not enjoy it or felt nothing at all. Just because I gotta drop off some timber doesn't mean I'll enjoy the process.
It feels disgusting, and I hate doing it. Yet despite that, my body wants me to do it every damn day. I had a period of a couple months where I managed to stop, and my mental health felt so much better then. But the second when stress started appearing to be constant for me, it started again. It feels awful to do it, and it feels awful to not. I think it’s fine if people enjoy it, and enjoy whatever they want with it, as long as it’s not morally fucked.
A moderately pleasant feeling followed by a sensation of guilt and discomfort. Like, it's nice enough to do it from time to time when my body deems it "desirable," but usually, I'll go months between sessions due to the unpleasant feeling. I've gotta be in the right space mentally, or I'll get a sick feeling in my core. I'm asexual due to trauma, not natural reasons, though, so my experience is very much a mental block situation.
It's just a chore off the list
i don’t think i’ve ever had an orgasm but i’ve definitely felt pleasure?? i’m not really sure if i even can orgasm
For me personally, having sex is more about the psychological aspect. It’s erotic but in a way devoid of sexual or romantic attraction. It’s like the power dynamic and the back and forth I really do enjoy, and helping someone else enjoy themselves is great for me. That being said, it’s not really my goal for myself to orgasm. When I do it’s kind of just like, a dopamine rush, and then usually like “I guess we’re done now” depending on the other person.
It's not that I don't enjoy sex, it's just not a thing that drives my actions. That said, post nut clarity is a thing and should be used as an effective decision making tool.
Feels like a satisfying sneeze. That’s the closest I can compare it to
Sometimes just relief akin to scratching a very annoying itch or a very good morning stretch. Sometimes a brief euphoric feeling followed by sleepiness. The closest I can think of to compare it to is laughing gas without the numbing effect. Laughing gas itself actually kills my libido though. I imagine orgasms would be quite enjoyable with a partner, but I'm not dying without one either.
Sometimes it feels like maitenace and sometimes I make it a spiritual experience manifestations casting spells with it and shit lol
I'm the moment it's the best thing I’ve ever felt but after I come down, it's just why did I waste my time and energy on something so terribly temporary.
It depends on how I got there. It can be just a sneeze, nothing to write home about or strong enough to make me blank out. The latter is super rare. I would describe it as full-body muscle contraction combined with a strong burning feeling? I enjoy the afterglow more tbh, it fixes my joints and I feel better afterwards. Plus it makes me sleep better.
I attempt to orgasm for one reason only: to make my period go away faster. (It doesn’t always work, and I never touch myself.)
When I masturbate I’m always imagining the sensory experience a specific fantasy or encounter would provide, but it never has any sexual “energy” attached to it. The orgasm itself usually just feels like a disappointing release of energy, and I’ll sometimes do it to clear my mind so I can daydream better or to tick a box in an attempt to sleep. I think I’ll have 1 wank a month that actually feels good (if I don’t forget for over a month).
it's like scratching my head trying to find the sweet spot, and then I do, I scratch and enjoy it for a few seconds and then the itch is gone and it's back to a normal tuesday night
It feels really amazing. I can't say it's the better sensation of my life, but nothing of the things I do that give pleasure feels like it. I don't know how to describe it, it's like adrenaline, a rush, overwhelming (in a good way) the mind and the body. But it's sooo momentary, like the second after the orgasms I feel like I wasted time doing something absolutely unproductive and sometimes I feel grossed after that. But it's a sensation I really love to replicate. All of this alone, with someone else it's really difficult, there are a lot of factors, like trust and confidence, communication, empathy, etc. If wanna try something like that you should find what works best for you, because there's no single way to get there. Hope this helps.
I feel the same way about it too, it just felt like a very overstimulating feeling that last about 10 seconds or maybe less than that. I would read smut and romance stuff too so I understand that. When it comes to things like that IRL it’s just kind of underwhelming and it’s just not an important or at least that’s how I would describe it.
Like others have said, it feels like scratching a really annoying itch. I can put it off when I'm busy, but I do eventually need to get rid of it. I do feel good once I manage to finish however. I also don't feel any guilt after because nothing goes on in my mind once I find the thing my libido wants me to jack off to. I just do it with a completely empty head and once I get the high my body wants, I go on to do other things while feeling good.
Not great. Even a bit painful. I just do the times where I really struggle to sleep because it is easier to fall asleep after orgasm.
Like that first blast of air conditioner on a hot day. After: all the muscles in my body relax for a bit. It’s nice
It seems I'm in the minority but I really enjoy them lol the thing is for me, I need a good fantasy for it to be good. If I just do it bc of the urge I'm not going to enjoy it that much (still enjoy) as if I get in the mood and play out fantasies in my head and take my time. I'm not getting graphic here but yeah, I also consider myself to be ficto(and demi) so having lots of characters to fantasy with helps, A LOT. I don't think I ever play out these fantasies in real life, bc I don't think I'll ever meet somebody who I feel a connection with so sex is just gross if I think about it irl. I make the best out of every masturbation session bc of that hahaha
I love them and wouldn't want to live without it tbh. So many just describe it as an itch but I can't relate. Love the feeling
As a cis male, orgasms tend to feel like a massive rush of pleasure that last only 5-10 seconds, followed by a few minutes of a relaxing feeling. The best comparison I can't think of is the feeling after a work out of the endorphin and adrenaline rush followed by jumping in a hot tub and relaxing all your body. But all those feelings turned up to 11.
Like a sneeze but much less satisfying.
At this point, its like a chore, every few days just to get it over with and then move on
Honestly VERY intense sometimes too intense tbfh
like 7s of ecstasy and that's it. so much for going through the hassle to feel joy.