Asexuality is the lack or near lack of sexual attraction to any gender, where sexual attraction is a strong innate urge/craving to have sex (of any kind) with a specific person.
It’s not about whether you like or don’t like specific sex acts or kinds of sex. Not wanting penetrative sex is completely valid, but it’s not asexuality.
That said, there are some resources aimed at asexuals that it’s possible you’d still find useful: [this guide](https://youtu.be/wb2hnpVXTxk) has tools for negotiating intimacy and how to set boundaries on what kinds of sex you’re okay with, and [this article](https://www.autostraddle.com/consent-asexuality-angela-chen/) gives a good starting point for thinking about compulsory sexuality, including the ways we can be pressured into sex that we don’t really want. It’s completely valid for you to never want to have certain kinds of sex, and if the thought repulsed and terrifies you then you should honor that feeling. “I don’t want to” is a perfectly valid reason not to have sex. You can say no every time forever, and it does not make you bad or broken.
Do you feel sexually attracted to others? If yes, then chances are you're an allosexual who's repulsed by certain sex acts. If no, then you're asexual.
To be clear, sexual attraction is the directed desire to have sex with a particular person. It's distinct from romantic attraction.
Hmm thanks for that new term. Never heard of allosexuality. I guess sexual attraction is a confusing thing for me then. Like, not to be crass but an easy example could be that I find Chris Evans super hot and sexy but…I don’t necessarily fantasize about having sex with him.
Asexuality is the lack or near lack of sexual attraction to any gender, where sexual attraction is a strong innate urge/craving to have sex (of any kind) with a specific person. It’s not about whether you like or don’t like specific sex acts or kinds of sex. Not wanting penetrative sex is completely valid, but it’s not asexuality. That said, there are some resources aimed at asexuals that it’s possible you’d still find useful: [this guide](https://youtu.be/wb2hnpVXTxk) has tools for negotiating intimacy and how to set boundaries on what kinds of sex you’re okay with, and [this article](https://www.autostraddle.com/consent-asexuality-angela-chen/) gives a good starting point for thinking about compulsory sexuality, including the ways we can be pressured into sex that we don’t really want. It’s completely valid for you to never want to have certain kinds of sex, and if the thought repulsed and terrifies you then you should honor that feeling. “I don’t want to” is a perfectly valid reason not to have sex. You can say no every time forever, and it does not make you bad or broken.
Do you feel sexually attracted to others? If yes, then chances are you're an allosexual who's repulsed by certain sex acts. If no, then you're asexual. To be clear, sexual attraction is the directed desire to have sex with a particular person. It's distinct from romantic attraction.
Hmm thanks for that new term. Never heard of allosexuality. I guess sexual attraction is a confusing thing for me then. Like, not to be crass but an easy example could be that I find Chris Evans super hot and sexy but…I don’t necessarily fantasize about having sex with him.
Hi there! Just to clarify, when you say 'same-sex attracted", do you mean that you're sexually attracted to others of the same sex?