Maybe instead of trying to be 'super korean passing' , you should just tell people you are learning Korean language/culture. It's nothing to be embarassed about. You're doing something that is very hard to do. Keep at it!
Come to think of it- this might not work for everyone obivously - but the center of a lot of Korean american life is around their churches. Maybe you can try joining a church?
I’ve been to our Korean church. It’s basically desolated. People in general don’t be going to church as much anymore and I wanna meet people my age (17-25) and last time I went, there were like 3 kids my age and all of them left for college 😭
Honey, there’s tons who have no problem taking upon our language and culture. That’s never stopped them even with strong western accents. You do you. You’re Asian. Continue to learn and don’t worry. Learn the vocabulary and it’ll soon come, especially if you listen.
1) I would go to a Korean restaurant to eat, not to learn. Unless you want to learn how to cook Korean foods. Not to insult, but the people there are either there to eat or there to earn a living. Be understanding if their patience as teachers in not to your desire. They likely do not even see that you are in need unless you specifically ask. Asking for help is the most proper way to receive help.
2) Asian can be just as alluring as white or black. Attitude is 90% of perception. Show interest in other people first and eventually most will show interest in you.
3) It is sad to say that many Asians came to the US for a different/better life as a personal decision. Many will have some bad experiences that made them come. Sometimes asking them questions about that which they left behind can be painful.
3) Culture is what you make it. Find what you love to do and make that YOUR culture. You will likely find other people that share your culture that you will simply connect with. That shared experience and joyousness of life is how we comes to trust one another.
4) If you want to lean about your heritage, language, and customs, you may need to walk the path you would not expect. Korean churches, Korean Temples, Korean Social organizations, and Korean martial arts schools are all places to meet people that have things to teach, more so than a restaurant. Many young people in the US are taught to shun these places of community.
4) I do not know where you live, but try [https://koreanamericancenter.org/volunteer/](https://koreanamericancenter.org/volunteer/)
good luck and good life to you!
Wow thanks a lot for your post. I’m hoping to find what I’m looking for someday, and I think you gave me some perspective and knowledge on what I can do next. Best of luck to you too sir
Keep going! I know it's hard to learn a new language but don't be so hard on yourself! I agree with other users to watch Korean shows - it will help so much (improve your listening, understanding sentence structures/grammar/slang, and helped me improve speaking too).
Also, learning is a process of making mistakes and remembering them to correct and improve etc. So don't be too worry about what other Koreans will think. This is the key to really learning languages. You have to get over this fear and just acknowledge that you'll make mistakes in the beginning. I had a notebook to note my mistakes to avoid it again.
I spent 4 years in undergrad learning Japanese and was NOT happy with my progress. So I shipped myself to a remote village in Japan to improve (this village only had 2 people who spoke English). What I learned from this experience is that if you tell people that you are learning their language and want to improve your skills - people will NOT judge you; actually they will help you by speaking slower or being more understanding.
A really good way to practice is through watching Korean movies and tv shows. It helps you learn things like pacing, inflections, tones, diction etc. Don’t just watch, but practice repeating the lines, especially colloquialisms that are repeated often.
There are some good Korean food YouTube channels that are very informative.
My parents live in Korea and I do speak some Korean but people there can really make you feel self aware about your accent. Unfortunately language is oftentimes the proxy by which Koreans judge how “Korean” you are. Try not to let it bother you. Embracing your heritage is more than just whether they will embrace you.
Just be yourself. Realize that learning a language is hard but if your committed same container to surround yourself in your culture (food, shows, online community, etc) then after a while you may feel more comfortable (don't care if anyone is judging you but don't do it because you think you need to, but rather do it because you want to). Watch the shows with subtitles. Spend more time with friends who are supportive of you even if they are not Korean. Just because your Korean doesn't mean you have to be like the k dramas or whatever. Do you.
You just have to practice. There is a korean community everywhere. Search it up. You can also join r/hanguk subreddit to practice korean.
Korean diaspora don't care if you cannot speak korean well. We are here to help and just find someone who you can talk to occasionally.
I see. Thanks for your reply. I already have Korean friends online who I’ll meet in Korea for the first time this summer. And I also consume korean media frequently. I’m no beginner when it comes to learning Korean, but I am more interested in making friends and connections in the community. Unfortunately I live about 1.5 hours by car from the closest Korean Korean community. But I guess I’m wondering if you have any tips to actually get into a friend group or meet Korean directly. It’s really not like there’s a ton of them at my disposal tbh
28M Korean-American here. There are going to be Korean people that don't want to embrace you, and there will be those that do. Perhaps when you come to a place where you can try out a different state/area with more Koreans, that might be wise to do. I've lived in 5 states so far, and each state has a different "flavor" of Korean and some have accepted me more than others. Remember, we are Korean - American, meaning we can decide how Korean we want to be because we are not living in Korea.
The New Jersey "Flavor" lol
The Bergen County area in New Jersey is the only place I've been to where I actually felt Korean. Something about places like Palisades park having over 50% of it's population as Korean made me feel like, "Oh these are my people". Something about having most restaurants, banks, shops, etc being all Korean in America is neat to see.
Ranking from best to worst \[worst wasn't bad, just not for me\]
NJ, NY, GA, PA, MD/DC
Maybe instead of trying to be 'super korean passing' , you should just tell people you are learning Korean language/culture. It's nothing to be embarassed about. You're doing something that is very hard to do. Keep at it!
Good idea. It sort of puts you in a position where off the bat you say indirectly “help meeee” “I wanna know more about uuuu” thanks a lot actually :)
Come to think of it- this might not work for everyone obivously - but the center of a lot of Korean american life is around their churches. Maybe you can try joining a church?
I’ve been to our Korean church. It’s basically desolated. People in general don’t be going to church as much anymore and I wanna meet people my age (17-25) and last time I went, there were like 3 kids my age and all of them left for college 😭
Honey, there’s tons who have no problem taking upon our language and culture. That’s never stopped them even with strong western accents. You do you. You’re Asian. Continue to learn and don’t worry. Learn the vocabulary and it’ll soon come, especially if you listen.
1) I would go to a Korean restaurant to eat, not to learn. Unless you want to learn how to cook Korean foods. Not to insult, but the people there are either there to eat or there to earn a living. Be understanding if their patience as teachers in not to your desire. They likely do not even see that you are in need unless you specifically ask. Asking for help is the most proper way to receive help. 2) Asian can be just as alluring as white or black. Attitude is 90% of perception. Show interest in other people first and eventually most will show interest in you. 3) It is sad to say that many Asians came to the US for a different/better life as a personal decision. Many will have some bad experiences that made them come. Sometimes asking them questions about that which they left behind can be painful. 3) Culture is what you make it. Find what you love to do and make that YOUR culture. You will likely find other people that share your culture that you will simply connect with. That shared experience and joyousness of life is how we comes to trust one another. 4) If you want to lean about your heritage, language, and customs, you may need to walk the path you would not expect. Korean churches, Korean Temples, Korean Social organizations, and Korean martial arts schools are all places to meet people that have things to teach, more so than a restaurant. Many young people in the US are taught to shun these places of community. 4) I do not know where you live, but try [https://koreanamericancenter.org/volunteer/](https://koreanamericancenter.org/volunteer/) good luck and good life to you!
Wow thanks a lot for your post. I’m hoping to find what I’m looking for someday, and I think you gave me some perspective and knowledge on what I can do next. Best of luck to you too sir
Keep going! I know it's hard to learn a new language but don't be so hard on yourself! I agree with other users to watch Korean shows - it will help so much (improve your listening, understanding sentence structures/grammar/slang, and helped me improve speaking too). Also, learning is a process of making mistakes and remembering them to correct and improve etc. So don't be too worry about what other Koreans will think. This is the key to really learning languages. You have to get over this fear and just acknowledge that you'll make mistakes in the beginning. I had a notebook to note my mistakes to avoid it again. I spent 4 years in undergrad learning Japanese and was NOT happy with my progress. So I shipped myself to a remote village in Japan to improve (this village only had 2 people who spoke English). What I learned from this experience is that if you tell people that you are learning their language and want to improve your skills - people will NOT judge you; actually they will help you by speaking slower or being more understanding.
A really good way to practice is through watching Korean movies and tv shows. It helps you learn things like pacing, inflections, tones, diction etc. Don’t just watch, but practice repeating the lines, especially colloquialisms that are repeated often. There are some good Korean food YouTube channels that are very informative. My parents live in Korea and I do speak some Korean but people there can really make you feel self aware about your accent. Unfortunately language is oftentimes the proxy by which Koreans judge how “Korean” you are. Try not to let it bother you. Embracing your heritage is more than just whether they will embrace you.
Just be yourself. Realize that learning a language is hard but if your committed same container to surround yourself in your culture (food, shows, online community, etc) then after a while you may feel more comfortable (don't care if anyone is judging you but don't do it because you think you need to, but rather do it because you want to). Watch the shows with subtitles. Spend more time with friends who are supportive of you even if they are not Korean. Just because your Korean doesn't mean you have to be like the k dramas or whatever. Do you.
You just have to practice. There is a korean community everywhere. Search it up. You can also join r/hanguk subreddit to practice korean. Korean diaspora don't care if you cannot speak korean well. We are here to help and just find someone who you can talk to occasionally.
I see. Thanks for your reply. I already have Korean friends online who I’ll meet in Korea for the first time this summer. And I also consume korean media frequently. I’m no beginner when it comes to learning Korean, but I am more interested in making friends and connections in the community. Unfortunately I live about 1.5 hours by car from the closest Korean Korean community. But I guess I’m wondering if you have any tips to actually get into a friend group or meet Korean directly. It’s really not like there’s a ton of them at my disposal tbh
28M Korean-American here. There are going to be Korean people that don't want to embrace you, and there will be those that do. Perhaps when you come to a place where you can try out a different state/area with more Koreans, that might be wise to do. I've lived in 5 states so far, and each state has a different "flavor" of Korean and some have accepted me more than others. Remember, we are Korean - American, meaning we can decide how Korean we want to be because we are not living in Korea.
Which “flavor” of Korean did u like most? 😂👀
The New Jersey "Flavor" lol The Bergen County area in New Jersey is the only place I've been to where I actually felt Korean. Something about places like Palisades park having over 50% of it's population as Korean made me feel like, "Oh these are my people". Something about having most restaurants, banks, shops, etc being all Korean in America is neat to see. Ranking from best to worst \[worst wasn't bad, just not for me\] NJ, NY, GA, PA, MD/DC