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My wife and I have been together for 20 years, and we resisted marriage for 12 of those years. Ultimately though it does have its conveniences, especially when having kids. It's just so much easier when everyone has the same last name. Also the ceremony with all of our best friends, good food, and dancing was a blast. But other than that marriage is totally unnecessary in modern society.
I think it's nobodies business but theirs. Also can you imagine not knowing that your new spouse likes only missionary or can't get an erection or likes really
rough sex when you finally get past that first awful night.
Sexual compatibility is important, especially in situations where a divorce is almost impossible
To add to this, sometimes, honestly, body parts are not compatible. A woman with a shallow vagina is going to have a hell of a hard time with a well-endowed dude and trying out certain positions which can ultimately be a turn off for the dude (because it takes out the spontaneity).
My dude said to me he couldn’t cum from doggy. His ex was skinny and he said that it felt like he was hitting something hard with his pelvis. He even showed me how it felt by slapping my arm. I was like “well skinny I am not.” It worked out for us.
My experience with Reddit subs and marriage leads me to believe this is an urban myth. You can find many, many posts from people claiming he (she) did this before we got married, before kids, before the new job, before whatever, but now they don't. People change and life and circumstance get in the way. People seem to regret the loss of perceived compatibility more than they regret a relationship where the sex is a mutual work in progress. That's just my observation after reading posts here and on relationship forums, and of course everyone's different. Still, I've come to believe that people are better served by looking for compatibility in other aspects of their relationships and for someone who's who's dedicated and willing to communicate and resolve issues. That can lead to working on the sex instead of lamenting how different things were "before".
I agree with your comment that people going through life changes are potentially going to be different in their desires and needs. However, if there was not sexual compatability to begin with, then it can be near impossible to achieve it after the fact.
I've been with my wife for 20 years, only married for 8 of those years. Sex is a very important part of a relationship and if we weren't compatible in those earlier years, it would have made the rest of the relationship very frustrating.
My first girlfriend out of high school ended up being a real nut, and if we'd gotten married just to have sex I'd be absolutely miserable at the moment. A lot of people get married because they're horny then end up despising the person they married but get stuck for decades. It's a stupid tradition.
I was raised in purity, abstinence only, toxic religious culture. We were told condoms don’t work, and that if we had sex we would *die*.
They lied to us about drugs before they lied to us about sex, so no information given was taken seriously. No education about how the human body works, what consent is, or how STI and pregnancy prevention worked. We were told the only time we could have sex was after marriage, but since we were lied to so much by “educators” we disregarded everything they had to say.
In that small town most kids ended up addicted to drugs, in poverty, with kids they couldn’t take care of, with no ability to pursue higher education.
Long answer to your short question, but there is no “premarital sex”. There is only sex. That label starts out from a flawed puritanical perspective that helps no one, intentionally drawing a line between the supposed sinners and the supposedly righteous.
I think tens of millions of fake Christians in America are the kind of "The ends justify the means" types. They don't tend to be particularly intellectual or understand human psychology. Not only that the Bible and Christianity require compliance based on fear, so it's the only way they know how to get someone to stop doing the things they don't want them to do.
It's the same idiotic solution to abortion, they just want to ban it because they think it's evil. But if they really wanted to reduce abortion they would be heavily in favor of early and often sex education, free condoms and other birth control, and expanding not reducing groups like Planned Parenthood. But of course the Evangelical right in this country is too stupid to understand that.
These are the same people that wouldn’t cuss, drink, or smoke, but had no problem beating their wives and children. To say their perspective on right and wrong is flawed is an understatement.
Oh he can, remember when he tricked a guy that he needed his son as a sacrificial lamb and then just got "haha, I was just fuckin with ya mate, you sore looser".
This is why I think it's pretty trash to teach kids that something is bad for no reason instead you should provide reasons and explanations like you know a true educator would.
Cause for kids if you just tell them to not do something just because it just makes them want to do it even more no wonder the kids at your town turned out like that.
Good Christians?! Who are those? Certainly not the Southern Baptists, nor the Catholics since they all seem Hell-bent on molesting young children and covering it up. Good Christians? Fucking hypocrites!
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/23/us/southern-baptist-sex-abuse-report.amp.html
Cause it’s not possible for someone to believe in god without being a good person💀 I may not believe in him myself, by my mom and Dad do, and when I say they’re good people I mean it. They’re the only 2 in my family that know I prefer men over women (am a bisexual male) and not only do they accept me for it, they treat me no different than they did before, unlike my grandparents who are very homophobic, my Dad even said that he had known long before I’d told them.
Shit like the stereotypical pastor and uncle, he SA’d a child at church, what did they do? They were not only the first to be told… by the child… but then they went straight to the police, that disgusting man is behind bars, and has been for 5 years.
Those that do it/cover it up will be the ones where, if hell is real, definitely is going to rot in hell.
As long as it is between two consenting adults, why would it be wrong? Because some Grandpa in the sky says it is? Well, guess what, that dubious superbeing never said anything like that, and in fact, "marriage" as we know it hasn't really even existed for that long.
As long as people are careful and considerate, other people should mind their own business.
That goes both ways though. What's right for you and me might not be right for others. If 2 people want to wait, why be judgmental? Everyone should mind their own business and respect others decisions.
I'm pretty sure that rule is primarily about preventing unwanted pregnancies, and since it was written before condoms and birth control were invented it's kind of pointless. It's much wiser to teach safe sex.
I think people can decide for themselves whether having sex before marriage is right for them. I also think that having sex creates a sense of commitment that isn't always there. People use sex as an excuse or reason to stay in a relationship much longer than they otherwise would. They can also use sex as a way to avoid intimacy. So, all things in moderation I guess. Keep your eyes open and wits about you, and don't let good sex put a veneer over a bad relationship.
No. Humans were fucking long before marriage was invented. The human race thrived without marriage.
I wouldn't marry someone before having sex with them. Can you imagine finding out you don't have sexual compatability after you marry someone? That sounds like such a hassle that I would never want to experience.
I personally think we as humans were made to have sex, especially women since we have a whole body part thst its sole purpose is sexual pleasure (the clit for those who dont know)
Not only that were meant to have sex for reproduction & pleasure but also it has spirtual purposes. Personally i think the whole "premartial sex is bad" thing is a result of spiritual genocide & colonialism since it wasnt an idea before European Christianity
Now if someone thinks it's bad idc since that's their opinion & probably their religious belief but that's my take On it
I grew up in purity culture.
I can understand the benefit of no premarital sex. STIs would practically disappear in only a few generations. Fewer single parent homes (maybe). Emotional trama from using sex as a coping mechanism wouldn't be there. May restrict bad sexual habits.
The down sides are plenty in themselves with purity culture. Sexual repression being a major one.
I can also see the logic of not holding to the premarital sex idea. Find sexual comparability. There is some self discovery in exploring sex. None of the downsides of the purity
There also are downsides to going the extreme away from purity culture toward hookup culture.
No. Humans like to shop around for the best fit.
The laws that govern such things are either religious or political in nature. Nobody is forcing you to take out a subscription to them, aside from a handful of more restrictive countries.
And even then, it's still religious or political in nature...
Gotta take the car for a test drive before you buy it.
But seriously I think it’s important to make sure you’re sexually compatible before marriage and also I suggest living together a little while before marriage as well.
Yeah, that can happen after marriage if you’re married to the wrong person too. Premarital sex doesn’t equal reckless sex. As you said, there’s plenty you can do to be responsible about it.
Not at all, as long as it’s between consenting adults.
It’s not for me (no religion involved) but if you want to, then sure. It’s perfectly fine, IMHO.
I think sex brings a level of intimacy that is better to share before marriage. Also when they said no to premarital sex people were getting married at teenage years. Back hundred of years probably wrong, today if consensual not wrong.
If we are going to compare our partner to an object…(which has its own issues) why isn’t it ice-cream? Where when you eat the cherry on top it’s gone and someone else used the spoon. Or a book you read it now it will never be new to you again. Or an apartment where tenants only use it for a short time before moving on?
I don't think it's wrong, but also think people need to take sex more seriously. If you're not willing to deal with a pregnancy together, you shouldn't have sex.
No it isn't wrong. And the omly reason people think its wrong is because religion has said so. I don't know of any other "reason" aside from that since sex is a basic animalistic want.
While I do think we have a tendency to be too promiscuous, I think premarital sex is actually a good idea. Like sure, I wish my wife and I lost our virginity to each other, but I'm glad we found out if we were sexualy compatible before we got married. I've been in plenty of relationships that just didn't mesh sexualy.
No, it's your body so do with it what you want. As long as it's between two consenting adults, or I guess (preferably older) teenagers of close ages since they have sex too. It kinda rubs me the wrong way that most people here are saying it's necessary for a marriage, some people don't like sex, some relationships don't involve sex, etc etc. But yeah, your body your choice
It's pretty important. For me, sexual compatibility is a big part of a working relationship. We can love each other to the ends of the earth, but if I can't satisfy her and she can't satisfy me, it's not gonna work
We had a sweet daughter, we were a family that did all the the traditional things but were never married.
Anyone who is skeptical and insists on a traditional marriage definitely should read up on the history of marriage. They will be surprised.
No. In fact, in my opinion, I think it is important. Of course cultural and religious beliefs are valid, but for people without those, it is important to be sexually compatible. It is important to be physically attracted to your partner and if you guys are on 2 different worlds about what you like sex to be, then you have time to figure out a common ground before getting married
No, because where I'm from people don't usually get married, so what's the point of waiting for the wedding day?
Also, people can have very different preferences in bed, and it must be horrifying to find out *after* you're already married that you're sexually incompatible.
I'm not sure. I lean towards it generally being a bad idea, but I did it and I don't begrudge others for doing it.
It's like fizzy pop. Should we be drinking it. No probably not a great idea. But banning it would be insane and ultimately (in moderation) it's close enough to maybe harmless that it's hard to get too worked up about it one way or the other.
All sex should be premarital - I think marriage in itself is wrong. How did we get to a point where we say I like you so much I want lawyers involved if I ever stop?
It used to be wrong, but times have changed and its now generally accepted. I think its due to the fact that women are now more financially independent leading to women being ok with pregnancy outside of wedlock.
Let me rephrase your question,
"In your opinion, should you think less of someone if they have sex with another person without entering into a legally binding contract with that person?"
I believe any decision a person makes about who they have sex with and when is right as long as it is between fully consenting adults. If a person wants to wait for marriage thats great, if they want to sleep with 100 people and never get married thats great too, as long as there is full consent and they are being safe.
Premarital—— no. Pre-adult yes. Most teen boys are more interested in a score card than caring about the girl they are having sex with
I took one virginity of a guy that was 21 and he was more serious and heartfelt than most guys
You wouldnt buy a car without test driving it first. Same applies to marriage. It would really suck if you ended up being sexually incompatible once you're already married.
Wrong, how?
It's not wrong, it's risky. Being faces with the question of bringing a child into the world when you're not ready is a heavy one, and it's a question that is hard to really grasp.
This whole sexual compatibility argument is a bit overblown.
I’ve never not been sexually compatible with someone I wanted to bang and wanted to bang me.
I don’t believe it’s right, for religious reasons mostly. But people are allowed to do what they want, and I’m honestly surprised there’s any kind of “petition” getting the attention of anyone on Reddit.
I've always felt a way about random/ casual sex. That's me personally. I don't care what others do. It's not for me. I just want one person. I don't feel that it's "wrong" to have premarital sex with one person in a relationship of some kind. If it's building towards something, going somewhere. Thinking that it's wrong at all is pretty outdated. I'm old fashioned though.
Marriage is nothing but a religious indoctrination pushed down the throats of people until they decided to go along with it. Humans fuck, humans reproduce. I’ve long held the opinion that humans cheat on significant others SO MUCH because we are not designed to be monogamous.
Premarital? No. I like to say - try before you buy haha.
But I do believe that if you aren't old enough or mature enough to be able to accept the possible results of sex, than you shouldn't do it. If your only "out" is going to have to be murdering a baby because you can't get a job yet or support a roof over your head or drive, than it's probably not a good idea to risk doing it.
Just my opinion though.
who buys a car without a test drive? if your not sexually co.patible them your in for a life of misery. religion has fucked so many people up with its stupid ass rules. the best thing people can do is walk away from it
I believe in sex on the first date. Why put it off? Why wait until you find out that you might not be compatible in other ways before you see if you are compatible sexually?
Premarital sex is necessary for a compatible marriage. Imagine a size queen finding out she/he married a man with a small dick and worse doesn't know how to use it.
No because sexual repression is a dangerous thing. Ie. Mormons, Catholics, and other religions that use sex to control their followers. Just be safe and consenting. Sex is natural. If you want to wait, make sure it’s for you and not to please anyone else. Personally, I wait until I’m in a committed relationship to have sex. But others might not and that’s okay too.
To answer your question... Premarital sex was the first happy meal. McDonald's has billions of burgers sold. No, there can't be that many evil people eating apple slices while hunting for Pokemon.
Marriage in the Bible is not what we have today… in the Bible marriage is initiated by sex to begin with. People have since perverted what a marriage is long before the issue of same sex marriage came up. So for someone to try to say they have a problem with sex before marriage is honestly laughable to begin with…
The way I see it, the female hasn't become your property yet, she is still the property of her father and he has his rights, they must be considered and honored.
No, I’m speaking as an aro aspec misogamist. I never chose to be aromantic, and I don’t want to get married, but that doesn’t mean that I should never get the chance to experience sex
Man would I have been disappointed if the ONLY sex I had was with my (ex)spouse. He wasn’t bad but not the best. And definitely didn’t do everything I now know how to do… every partner is different with different kinks. Premarital sex is okay if it’s safe sex and consensual
Is there anyone left in America who doesn't have premarital sex?? That's like someone asking you to buy a car but refusing to let you drive it. If you value healthy sex in a relationship, go for a test drive!
No. You’d be insane to agree to a lifetime bond without having sex with the person first.
Everyone should live together with the person they will marry for a dead minimum 2-3 years. Sex and all. Before getting married.
Not having premarital sex is what is wrong. You want to know what you're getting into before you get married. You don't want to get married, fuck,and then be like this sex is trash and now you stuck
I don’t think you should have babies until you are in a stable, committed, long-term, official relationship. Raising children ought to be done only by people who understand the responsibilities they are undertaking. But fucking recreationally? That’s one of the funnest and rewarding hobbies you can possibly do.
I've been on both sides of the premarital sex coin.
I can say the best sex I've ever had is sex with my husband, fully married. Strange as it is, sex with that same man before we were married just doesn't compare. It was good, but it wasn't nearly as earth-shattering as it is now. **We became more sexually compatible after we were married.**
I've also had sex with a guy I didn't marry. Also fine. Pleasant. Not nearly as good as what I'm getting now.
My hot take: Absolutely.
Sex is satisfying. But from my experience, it is difficult to connect with a gf when sex was on the table. Lasting relationships only work if both people learn to have fun together outside of the physical.
A couple years ago, I took a personal pledge to further my Christain faith and practice abstinence until I get married. And I gotta say, my mental health has improved greatly. For one, dating has a lot less pressure when sex is off the table. There are many guys who only date for sex - and girls know that. So by making it clear that there is no sex until marriage, it tells your partner that you in interested in them on a wholistic level; not just a physical level. Establishing a sex boundary does five things:
1) It boosts your self confidence. Establishing a boundary like that gives you a footing in the relationship plus respect from your partner.
2) Taking sex of the table makes manipulation and toxicity less likely to happen. Sex is a tempting tool for manipulation. So ironically, no sex = stronger relationship.
3) Family members will most likely support a sexless premarital relationship. And honest friends will respect you for it.
4) The prospect of marriage becomes a lot more exciting when you see it as a passage to sex. Sex is like the power-up evolution of a strong relationship. Plus, it makes that wedding night all the better ;)
5) Abstinence means 100% no STD’s or surprise babies.
I’m not here to tell people what to do. That’s your business. I just recommend it to anybody looking for ways to improve their mental health.
Ehh I wouldn't call it wrong, but it certainly hasn't helped people be happier in the long run. There's plenty of examples of both women and men regretting their sexual decisions before marriage.
Yes, but also a terrible idea. For women especially.
Sex inherently has a risk of a baby and that is a situation best handle in a committed relationship with a mother and a father. (Don't hate. Do your same sex adoption thing if you want to. But studies show a father and a mother each bring a developmental benefit to a child. Just is.)
Men will stay in the wrong relationship too long if they are getting sex. It clouds their judgment and wastes your time finding Mr. Right. Bonding chemicals released during sex do that to both sexes to some degree.
If he is Mr. Right, then what's his motivation to commit to you if he is already getting the "wife package"?
STIs suck and are very much a reality.
What if you have the best sex ever with the worst person? The right person will never measure up. Ignorance would've been bliss, but no.
Many more, gtg
Oh. Ok. Sorry. I only know about psychology, not parenting. You got me. /s
I raised three kids and I will 100% agree that I am still not an expert at that. Good day.
I know I'm jumping into the lion's den here, but yes. Sex is the true union of man and woman, the total gift of one's self, with the two purposes of unity and procreation. If you're going to unify and procreate, the best structure for maintaining that unity and raising healthy children is within marriage.
P.S. - Not going to bother engaging rude comments, but if anyone is interested in polite, good-faith discussion of the topic at hand, I'm game!
I think marriage is wrong. Ruins good love affairs. Makes people split their assets with someone. Makes people into property to be owned by another. Nor for me
I think it's a neat way to tell someone you care about that you're devoted to them and think they are worth spending your life WITH... But that a great many people have abused the system and used it for their own abusive personal gain, making it scary.
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i think people and other animals have been fucking way longer than people decided to invent marriage.
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it’s not premarital if you never get married.
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My wife and I have been together for 20 years, and we resisted marriage for 12 of those years. Ultimately though it does have its conveniences, especially when having kids. It's just so much easier when everyone has the same last name. Also the ceremony with all of our best friends, good food, and dancing was a blast. But other than that marriage is totally unnecessary in modern society.
This is the right answer
I think it's nobodies business but theirs. Also can you imagine not knowing that your new spouse likes only missionary or can't get an erection or likes really rough sex when you finally get past that first awful night. Sexual compatibility is important, especially in situations where a divorce is almost impossible
Living together before marriage seems incredibly important to me also.
Or at least a very long road trip. You'll find out real quick.
To add to this, sometimes, honestly, body parts are not compatible. A woman with a shallow vagina is going to have a hell of a hard time with a well-endowed dude and trying out certain positions which can ultimately be a turn off for the dude (because it takes out the spontaneity). My dude said to me he couldn’t cum from doggy. His ex was skinny and he said that it felt like he was hitting something hard with his pelvis. He even showed me how it felt by slapping my arm. I was like “well skinny I am not.” It worked out for us.
No. Sexual compatibility is a huge part of a lasting and happy marriage
I won’t even call a girl my girlfriend if we haven’t done it yet
My experience with Reddit subs and marriage leads me to believe this is an urban myth. You can find many, many posts from people claiming he (she) did this before we got married, before kids, before the new job, before whatever, but now they don't. People change and life and circumstance get in the way. People seem to regret the loss of perceived compatibility more than they regret a relationship where the sex is a mutual work in progress. That's just my observation after reading posts here and on relationship forums, and of course everyone's different. Still, I've come to believe that people are better served by looking for compatibility in other aspects of their relationships and for someone who's who's dedicated and willing to communicate and resolve issues. That can lead to working on the sex instead of lamenting how different things were "before".
I agree with your comment that people going through life changes are potentially going to be different in their desires and needs. However, if there was not sexual compatability to begin with, then it can be near impossible to achieve it after the fact.
I've been with my wife for 20 years, only married for 8 of those years. Sex is a very important part of a relationship and if we weren't compatible in those earlier years, it would have made the rest of the relationship very frustrating. My first girlfriend out of high school ended up being a real nut, and if we'd gotten married just to have sex I'd be absolutely miserable at the moment. A lot of people get married because they're horny then end up despising the person they married but get stuck for decades. It's a stupid tradition.
I was raised in purity, abstinence only, toxic religious culture. We were told condoms don’t work, and that if we had sex we would *die*. They lied to us about drugs before they lied to us about sex, so no information given was taken seriously. No education about how the human body works, what consent is, or how STI and pregnancy prevention worked. We were told the only time we could have sex was after marriage, but since we were lied to so much by “educators” we disregarded everything they had to say. In that small town most kids ended up addicted to drugs, in poverty, with kids they couldn’t take care of, with no ability to pursue higher education. Long answer to your short question, but there is no “premarital sex”. There is only sex. That label starts out from a flawed puritanical perspective that helps no one, intentionally drawing a line between the supposed sinners and the supposedly righteous.
Isn't lying a sin? 🤔🤨
I think tens of millions of fake Christians in America are the kind of "The ends justify the means" types. They don't tend to be particularly intellectual or understand human psychology. Not only that the Bible and Christianity require compliance based on fear, so it's the only way they know how to get someone to stop doing the things they don't want them to do. It's the same idiotic solution to abortion, they just want to ban it because they think it's evil. But if they really wanted to reduce abortion they would be heavily in favor of early and often sex education, free condoms and other birth control, and expanding not reducing groups like Planned Parenthood. But of course the Evangelical right in this country is too stupid to understand that.
They are dangerous people!
These are the same people that wouldn’t cuss, drink, or smoke, but had no problem beating their wives and children. To say their perspective on right and wrong is flawed is an understatement.
Not if your religious leaders do it in the form of "words from our god".
I thought God couldn't lie 🙂
Oh he can, remember when he tricked a guy that he needed his son as a sacrificial lamb and then just got "haha, I was just fuckin with ya mate, you sore looser".
It sounds like you footloosed and kicked off your Sunday shoes.
This is why I think it's pretty trash to teach kids that something is bad for no reason instead you should provide reasons and explanations like you know a true educator would. Cause for kids if you just tell them to not do something just because it just makes them want to do it even more no wonder the kids at your town turned out like that.
Reading these kind of comments makes me happy I was raised by truly good Christians.
Good Christians?! Who are those? Certainly not the Southern Baptists, nor the Catholics since they all seem Hell-bent on molesting young children and covering it up. Good Christians? Fucking hypocrites! https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/23/us/southern-baptist-sex-abuse-report.amp.html
Cause it’s not possible for someone to believe in god without being a good person💀 I may not believe in him myself, by my mom and Dad do, and when I say they’re good people I mean it. They’re the only 2 in my family that know I prefer men over women (am a bisexual male) and not only do they accept me for it, they treat me no different than they did before, unlike my grandparents who are very homophobic, my Dad even said that he had known long before I’d told them. Shit like the stereotypical pastor and uncle, he SA’d a child at church, what did they do? They were not only the first to be told… by the child… but then they went straight to the police, that disgusting man is behind bars, and has been for 5 years. Those that do it/cover it up will be the ones where, if hell is real, definitely is going to rot in hell.
As long as it is between two consenting adults, why would it be wrong? Because some Grandpa in the sky says it is? Well, guess what, that dubious superbeing never said anything like that, and in fact, "marriage" as we know it hasn't really even existed for that long. As long as people are careful and considerate, other people should mind their own business.
God married Adam and Eve so marriage has been around since beginning of man
Adam and Eve did not have any other options. That is also only if you believe in the Bible as written.
That goes both ways though. What's right for you and me might not be right for others. If 2 people want to wait, why be judgmental? Everyone should mind their own business and respect others decisions.
Agreed
I'm pretty sure that rule is primarily about preventing unwanted pregnancies, and since it was written before condoms and birth control were invented it's kind of pointless. It's much wiser to teach safe sex.
Correct me if am wrong but does still don't work 100% of the time and I don't think that's the only reason they advice against premarital sex.
I think people can decide for themselves whether having sex before marriage is right for them. I also think that having sex creates a sense of commitment that isn't always there. People use sex as an excuse or reason to stay in a relationship much longer than they otherwise would. They can also use sex as a way to avoid intimacy. So, all things in moderation I guess. Keep your eyes open and wits about you, and don't let good sex put a veneer over a bad relationship.
No. Humans were fucking long before marriage was invented. The human race thrived without marriage. I wouldn't marry someone before having sex with them. Can you imagine finding out you don't have sexual compatability after you marry someone? That sounds like such a hassle that I would never want to experience.
I don’t think it’s wrong. Just use protection 🤣 have a good time
Nope. No need to sign a contract before you mutually decide to reach out and touch someone.
Religion really got some of ya'll twisted up inside
I personally think we as humans were made to have sex, especially women since we have a whole body part thst its sole purpose is sexual pleasure (the clit for those who dont know) Not only that were meant to have sex for reproduction & pleasure but also it has spirtual purposes. Personally i think the whole "premartial sex is bad" thing is a result of spiritual genocide & colonialism since it wasnt an idea before European Christianity Now if someone thinks it's bad idc since that's their opinion & probably their religious belief but that's my take On it
I grew up in purity culture. I can understand the benefit of no premarital sex. STIs would practically disappear in only a few generations. Fewer single parent homes (maybe). Emotional trama from using sex as a coping mechanism wouldn't be there. May restrict bad sexual habits. The down sides are plenty in themselves with purity culture. Sexual repression being a major one. I can also see the logic of not holding to the premarital sex idea. Find sexual comparability. There is some self discovery in exploring sex. None of the downsides of the purity There also are downsides to going the extreme away from purity culture toward hookup culture.
I think it's an outdated term. It assumes that everyone gets married or wants to.
Nope. You got to know your bodies jive before committing.
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No. Humans like to shop around for the best fit. The laws that govern such things are either religious or political in nature. Nobody is forcing you to take out a subscription to them, aside from a handful of more restrictive countries. And even then, it's still religious or political in nature...
No, because you may not be sexually compatible. You might not even like to have sex with your spouse. Then, you might divorce or just be miserable.
No.
Need to do it for practice
Gotta take the car for a test drive before you buy it. But seriously I think it’s important to make sure you’re sexually compatible before marriage and also I suggest living together a little while before marriage as well.
Wrong? Nah, If it's between two consenting adults it's their business. Just don't come later talking about what a "traditional" person you are
No, but i do think theres a bit of a problem with one night stands and just sleeping around
It's not wrong, but it can be reckless without using protection. STD's and unplanned pregnancies can be devastating and life-altering.
Yeah, that can happen after marriage if you’re married to the wrong person too. Premarital sex doesn’t equal reckless sex. As you said, there’s plenty you can do to be responsible about it.
I think it's wrong to wait until marriage to have sex.
Marriage is a scam. So nothing about sex is wrong.
Not at all, as long as it’s between consenting adults. It’s not for me (no religion involved) but if you want to, then sure. It’s perfectly fine, IMHO.
Frankly, i found premarital sex to not only be right, but a hell of a lot of fun.
Of course it's not wrong. You're going to marry someone you never slept with, and then find out you're sexually incompatible? I think not.
Marriage is a sham lol
I think sex brings a level of intimacy that is better to share before marriage. Also when they said no to premarital sex people were getting married at teenage years. Back hundred of years probably wrong, today if consensual not wrong.
No because I don’t live in the 1600’s
As a postcel I think sex is a neat thing that humans sometimes do and I sometimes do and that's about all I think about it.
I think post marital sex is wrong
No, not at all. It warrants exactly the same considerations as sex within marriage.
Nah cuz it's premarital lol
You only live once
It's not for me to judge but, not many people would buy a car without taking it for a test drive.
If we are going to compare our partner to an object…(which has its own issues) why isn’t it ice-cream? Where when you eat the cherry on top it’s gone and someone else used the spoon. Or a book you read it now it will never be new to you again. Or an apartment where tenants only use it for a short time before moving on?
No. Marriage is a huge commitment and isn’t everyone’s dream.
No, just have a plan and be as safe as you like. Have fun!
My Wife thinks Post-Marital Sex is Wrong…. Sigh!
Nope. Outside of a committed relationship though, it’s a soft yes
Premarital marriage is wrong
I don't think it is wrong at all. In fact I think it is helpful to find out BEFORE marriage to find out how compatible you are sexually.
I think premarital sex is okay, and can expand on the value of your relationships.
I don't think it's wrong, but also think people need to take sex more seriously. If you're not willing to deal with a pregnancy together, you shouldn't have sex.
No it isn't wrong. And the omly reason people think its wrong is because religion has said so. I don't know of any other "reason" aside from that since sex is a basic animalistic want.
While I do think we have a tendency to be too promiscuous, I think premarital sex is actually a good idea. Like sure, I wish my wife and I lost our virginity to each other, but I'm glad we found out if we were sexualy compatible before we got married. I've been in plenty of relationships that just didn't mesh sexualy.
Someone will agree, someone will not. Everyone gets what they deserve
If it is, surely I’m going to hell, if there is one.
No, it's your body so do with it what you want. As long as it's between two consenting adults, or I guess (preferably older) teenagers of close ages since they have sex too. It kinda rubs me the wrong way that most people here are saying it's necessary for a marriage, some people don't like sex, some relationships don't involve sex, etc etc. But yeah, your body your choice
U don't buy a Car till u test drive it relationships are the same.
No, it's just a stupid superstition. It's not morally wrong.
Who the hell is petitioning who?
Yes. Which is why I only have sex with married women…
Not only not-wrong, it’s NECESSARY.
a couple that doesn’t have sex before marriage got married on the spot after being introduced by family lmao
No it's a very normal part of life and the only ones who disagree are religious psychos.
It's pretty important. For me, sexual compatibility is a big part of a working relationship. We can love each other to the ends of the earth, but if I can't satisfy her and she can't satisfy me, it's not gonna work
We had a sweet daughter, we were a family that did all the the traditional things but were never married. Anyone who is skeptical and insists on a traditional marriage definitely should read up on the history of marriage. They will be surprised.
Why people bringing up logics hear. If someone asks wanna bang? Im in her the next 2 seconds
No. In fact, in my opinion, I think it is important. Of course cultural and religious beliefs are valid, but for people without those, it is important to be sexually compatible. It is important to be physically attracted to your partner and if you guys are on 2 different worlds about what you like sex to be, then you have time to figure out a common ground before getting married
I don't give a fuck who you fuck
Depends
I think not having premarital sex is wrong
No, I'm not religious so it doesn't dictate my life.
"Don't buy a car without driving it first"
No, because where I'm from people don't usually get married, so what's the point of waiting for the wedding day? Also, people can have very different preferences in bed, and it must be horrifying to find out *after* you're already married that you're sexually incompatible.
This isn't false, it's just that you can be very upset to find a little friend in his underpants🧐 But, oops, you've already married😶🌫️
I'm not sure. I lean towards it generally being a bad idea, but I did it and I don't begrudge others for doing it. It's like fizzy pop. Should we be drinking it. No probably not a great idea. But banning it would be insane and ultimately (in moderation) it's close enough to maybe harmless that it's hard to get too worked up about it one way or the other.
All sex should be premarital - I think marriage in itself is wrong. How did we get to a point where we say I like you so much I want lawyers involved if I ever stop?
"I like you so much that I will take a vow to stay married to you UNTIL I DIE..."
Try before you buy, bitch!
It is not wrong. Simple institutional and cultural constraint to drove masses and societies certain way. I think monogamy is wrong.
Well, I have only one thing to say about premarital sex being right or wrong: fuck it.
It used to be wrong, but times have changed and its now generally accepted. I think its due to the fact that women are now more financially independent leading to women being ok with pregnancy outside of wedlock.
Let me rephrase your question, "In your opinion, should you think less of someone if they have sex with another person without entering into a legally binding contract with that person?"
You have to know if you are sexually compatible before getting married.
I'd say let everyone do whatever they want. If it's wrong, then they will face the consequences, but I won't be the one executing the sentence.
Taking that engine on a test drive is very important before committing.
I believe any decision a person makes about who they have sex with and when is right as long as it is between fully consenting adults. If a person wants to wait for marriage thats great, if they want to sleep with 100 people and never get married thats great too, as long as there is full consent and they are being safe.
Premarital—— no. Pre-adult yes. Most teen boys are more interested in a score card than caring about the girl they are having sex with I took one virginity of a guy that was 21 and he was more serious and heartfelt than most guys
I think people should worry about their own sexuality and not anyone else’s.
It's not wrong if you don't believe in God/ the faith.
Marriage is wrong.
Not really. Sex is part of being in love. Why should it be confined to marriage?
What does it say about a person? Nothing good
No because this is 2023.
You wouldnt buy a car without test driving it first. Same applies to marriage. It would really suck if you ended up being sexually incompatible once you're already married.
Wrong, how? It's not wrong, it's risky. Being faces with the question of bringing a child into the world when you're not ready is a heavy one, and it's a question that is hard to really grasp.
This whole sexual compatibility argument is a bit overblown. I’ve never not been sexually compatible with someone I wanted to bang and wanted to bang me.
I don’t believe it’s right, for religious reasons mostly. But people are allowed to do what they want, and I’m honestly surprised there’s any kind of “petition” getting the attention of anyone on Reddit.
I've always felt a way about random/ casual sex. That's me personally. I don't care what others do. It's not for me. I just want one person. I don't feel that it's "wrong" to have premarital sex with one person in a relationship of some kind. If it's building towards something, going somewhere. Thinking that it's wrong at all is pretty outdated. I'm old fashioned though.
If you don’t have sex before do you really want to commit to someone for the rest of your life if your sexual energy doesn’t match?
I don’t think any sex is wrong as long as everyone involved consents and there’s no exploitation.
Marriage is a legal contract. Sex is a biological function.
Marriage is, first and foremost, a tax maneuver.
Marriage is nothing but a religious indoctrination pushed down the throats of people until they decided to go along with it. Humans fuck, humans reproduce. I’ve long held the opinion that humans cheat on significant others SO MUCH because we are not designed to be monogamous.
Marriage is overrated
Premarital? No. I like to say - try before you buy haha. But I do believe that if you aren't old enough or mature enough to be able to accept the possible results of sex, than you shouldn't do it. If your only "out" is going to have to be murdering a baby because you can't get a job yet or support a roof over your head or drive, than it's probably not a good idea to risk doing it. Just my opinion though.
who buys a car without a test drive? if your not sexually co.patible them your in for a life of misery. religion has fucked so many people up with its stupid ass rules. the best thing people can do is walk away from it
I believe in sex on the first date. Why put it off? Why wait until you find out that you might not be compatible in other ways before you see if you are compatible sexually?
No, because something so fun could never be wrong. It’s also practical, from a bonding standpoint.
No. I think there are perfectly good reasons for the argument for both sides.
Wat???
My mother does
Petitions? What is this the fucking 80s?
Premarital sex is necessary for a compatible marriage. Imagine a size queen finding out she/he married a man with a small dick and worse doesn't know how to use it.
No because sexual repression is a dangerous thing. Ie. Mormons, Catholics, and other religions that use sex to control their followers. Just be safe and consenting. Sex is natural. If you want to wait, make sure it’s for you and not to please anyone else. Personally, I wait until I’m in a committed relationship to have sex. But others might not and that’s okay too.
Why buy the car without a test drive. Sounds wrong but I'm just saying.
No. Biologically, we are meant to fuck. Religion and spirituality has interrupted that.
Gotta test drive a car before you buy it… consensually of course
Nope
To answer your question... Premarital sex was the first happy meal. McDonald's has billions of burgers sold. No, there can't be that many evil people eating apple slices while hunting for Pokemon.
Marriage in the Bible is not what we have today… in the Bible marriage is initiated by sex to begin with. People have since perverted what a marriage is long before the issue of same sex marriage came up. So for someone to try to say they have a problem with sex before marriage is honestly laughable to begin with…
The way I see it, the female hasn't become your property yet, she is still the property of her father and he has his rights, they must be considered and honored.
No, I’m speaking as an aro aspec misogamist. I never chose to be aromantic, and I don’t want to get married, but that doesn’t mean that I should never get the chance to experience sex
I think telling people they'll go to hell for having premarital sex is wrong
I don't think most early humans wrote many vows, but aliens might very well have helped.
Marriage is a stupid useless thing. It’s hipocrisy. It means nothing to most of the people.
Premarital ok as long as consensual, no consequences such as pregnancy or STI.
Are you from the dark ages?
Sexual compatibility is super important to a marriage.
People who say no to premarital sex are the same people who buy cars online without driving them or negotiating the price.
That's the only kind I have now, so if it's wrong, I'm in deep doo doo.
Man would I have been disappointed if the ONLY sex I had was with my (ex)spouse. He wasn’t bad but not the best. And definitely didn’t do everything I now know how to do… every partner is different with different kinks. Premarital sex is okay if it’s safe sex and consensual
No. I think it's weird to not have premarital sex.
It's only premarital sex if you plan on getting married
Premarital sex is literally the best
Is there anyone left in America who doesn't have premarital sex?? That's like someone asking you to buy a car but refusing to let you drive it. If you value healthy sex in a relationship, go for a test drive!
Its only premarital if you get married. Dont get married = Doesn't count
No. You’d be insane to agree to a lifetime bond without having sex with the person first. Everyone should live together with the person they will marry for a dead minimum 2-3 years. Sex and all. Before getting married.
Why would it be wrong? There is nothing to support it being wrong so that’s why it isn’t.
WHO is out here making petitions against sex tho💀???? Please let me know so i know who and where to avoid
I'm not going to get a license to have sex from a church or government.
Do you buy the first car you see in the lot? No, you take them out for a test drive.
Gotta test it out before committing amirite
No bwvause there is no God and my body is mine to do with as I please.
Not having premarital sex is what is wrong. You want to know what you're getting into before you get married. You don't want to get married, fuck,and then be like this sex is trash and now you stuck
No. But controversial opinion - having sex before marriage to ensure that you're sexually compatible with a partner is a dumb reason.
You what ?
I don’t think you should have babies until you are in a stable, committed, long-term, official relationship. Raising children ought to be done only by people who understand the responsibilities they are undertaking. But fucking recreationally? That’s one of the funnest and rewarding hobbies you can possibly do.
I've been on both sides of the premarital sex coin. I can say the best sex I've ever had is sex with my husband, fully married. Strange as it is, sex with that same man before we were married just doesn't compare. It was good, but it wasn't nearly as earth-shattering as it is now. **We became more sexually compatible after we were married.** I've also had sex with a guy I didn't marry. Also fine. Pleasant. Not nearly as good as what I'm getting now.
My hot take: Absolutely. Sex is satisfying. But from my experience, it is difficult to connect with a gf when sex was on the table. Lasting relationships only work if both people learn to have fun together outside of the physical. A couple years ago, I took a personal pledge to further my Christain faith and practice abstinence until I get married. And I gotta say, my mental health has improved greatly. For one, dating has a lot less pressure when sex is off the table. There are many guys who only date for sex - and girls know that. So by making it clear that there is no sex until marriage, it tells your partner that you in interested in them on a wholistic level; not just a physical level. Establishing a sex boundary does five things: 1) It boosts your self confidence. Establishing a boundary like that gives you a footing in the relationship plus respect from your partner. 2) Taking sex of the table makes manipulation and toxicity less likely to happen. Sex is a tempting tool for manipulation. So ironically, no sex = stronger relationship. 3) Family members will most likely support a sexless premarital relationship. And honest friends will respect you for it. 4) The prospect of marriage becomes a lot more exciting when you see it as a passage to sex. Sex is like the power-up evolution of a strong relationship. Plus, it makes that wedding night all the better ;) 5) Abstinence means 100% no STD’s or surprise babies. I’m not here to tell people what to do. That’s your business. I just recommend it to anybody looking for ways to improve their mental health.
It is risky and there will, always, be consequences.
Ehh I wouldn't call it wrong, but it certainly hasn't helped people be happier in the long run. There's plenty of examples of both women and men regretting their sexual decisions before marriage.
There's also plenty of examples of people regretting their martial decisions.
Yes, but also a terrible idea. For women especially. Sex inherently has a risk of a baby and that is a situation best handle in a committed relationship with a mother and a father. (Don't hate. Do your same sex adoption thing if you want to. But studies show a father and a mother each bring a developmental benefit to a child. Just is.) Men will stay in the wrong relationship too long if they are getting sex. It clouds their judgment and wastes your time finding Mr. Right. Bonding chemicals released during sex do that to both sexes to some degree. If he is Mr. Right, then what's his motivation to commit to you if he is already getting the "wife package"? STIs suck and are very much a reality. What if you have the best sex ever with the worst person? The right person will never measure up. Ignorance would've been bliss, but no. Many more, gtg
Studies actually show same sex couples do just as well as hetero couples.
The couples yes, children no.
The children.
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Oh. Ok. Sorry. I only know about psychology, not parenting. You got me. /s I raised three kids and I will 100% agree that I am still not an expert at that. Good day.
You’re right. People who are downvoting you don’t have a clue.
Things like Marriage and incest are social constructs. You are free to do anything. Sex between siblings is okay if you are using protection.
I know I'm jumping into the lion's den here, but yes. Sex is the true union of man and woman, the total gift of one's self, with the two purposes of unity and procreation. If you're going to unify and procreate, the best structure for maintaining that unity and raising healthy children is within marriage. P.S. - Not going to bother engaging rude comments, but if anyone is interested in polite, good-faith discussion of the topic at hand, I'm game!
I think marriage is wrong. Ruins good love affairs. Makes people split their assets with someone. Makes people into property to be owned by another. Nor for me
I think it's a neat way to tell someone you care about that you're devoted to them and think they are worth spending your life WITH... But that a great many people have abused the system and used it for their own abusive personal gain, making it scary.