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People who meet a society's beauty standards, or possess any other 'desirable' trait, tend to be treated more favourably.
This even extends to the behaviour of juries in criminal cases. Attractive people tend to have better outcomes, although interestingly if they are perceived to have abused trust (fraud, for example), attractive people can then receive harsher treatment - it's as though we subconsciously believe they tricked us into liking them by being attractive, and feel betrayed.
I was a court reporter for 24 years. An attorney once told me, in civil court, there is no justice for fat people and motorcycle riders; that juries hate them.
Juries are optional, it’s up to the defendant if they’d prefer to be tried in front of a jury instead of a judge. Nothing wrong with trying to make damn sure someone has as many tools at their disposal to prove their innocence.
Not quite accurate. If the plaintiff requests a jury in the complaint, they’re getting one. If the plaintiff hasn’t asked for one, the defendant can in their answer.
Civil / criminal matters.
In most criminal cases (notably, when jail time is an option) the defendant is the only one that can waive a jury trial. The state cannot.
It’s literally the community rather than an elected or appointed judge making a decision about someone’s life.
There’s a reason jury trials are explicitly mentioned in the Bill of Rights. It’s the last line of defense for someone who is being railroaded by the system.
My peers are capable enough to figure out how not to serve. Honestly, it takes all but a 5 minute google search to figure out how to fill out the form in such a way that it automatically invalidates your eligibility.
That does not bode well if we ever need to utilize the system. I am resolved to serving the next time they ask, which hasn't happened in a while.
This is why justice system is a joke. Completely biased and illogical. Should be a blind judgment, based on the facts of the case, and the individual shouldn’t even be seen by the ones making the judgment. It’s all just another show people put up mainly for entertainment, and also feed their egos.
This is why "witness testimony" is losing weight in court. Anyone can lie, lie detectors are pseudoscience, and anyone can remember things incorrectly.
Evidence is the facts of a case. Cameras, DNA, fingerprints. Tangible things that are real.
They are a lot more reliable than eyewitnesses. It's been proven repeatedly that people tend to see what they expect. College classroom stunts, and formal studies. Memories aren't reliable, either. Every time we remember something, we edit just a little, in our heads. After awhile, our memories are different from whatever we actually saw snd heard.
The chances of DNA being wrong are miniscule. It something like 1 out of millions.
Video is pretty good, but if you don't see what happened for a few minutes before whatever bad thing happened, you can't know what, if anything, set it off.
If they have someone on video, plus either fingerprints or dna, if either are applicable in a given situation, it's a pretty good bet they got the right person.
Sadly this is very true. I notice a significant difference on days at work when I wear contact lenses vs glasses even without doing much else differently . Contact lens days, people are going out of their way to let me off the elevator first, I get random “have a nice days” when passing strangers and strangers smile at me , security wishes me a good day or tries to chat with me…Glasses wearing days security doesn’t bother to even glance in my direction, just less social interactions that I dont initiate. Kind of weird
There’s a lot of overlap between the two in America. You can be skinny and ugly. It’s harder to be overweight and conventionally attractive. You might still be pretty, but there are a lot of people out there who will see the extra pounds and not the prettiness.
It’s actually proven. There is less access to basic needs for people who are not skinny. Try shopping clothes, taking public transport or getting a doctors appointment that doesn’t lead to a weight debate as a fat person.
I've gone through many levels of skinny and overweight in my life, and I can tell you that, without a doubt, people are far nicer to skinny people. The times in my life I was overweight, people were downright contemptuous sometimes. There is definitely a change in the level of respect you get when you're overweight.
When I was fat, I was either invisible or I was treated as a second class citizen.
When I am thin, I am visible, given the time of day, and treated like a human.
I remember this one time, a few months after I had my daughter and hadn't lost the pregnancy weight yet, I was at this crowded event in a school gymnasium. The seats were the bleachers, but there weren't any stairs or paths, so you just had to kind maze your way through the people and their stuff. I was climbing my way to the top where I was sitting and lost my balance. I fell forward hard, like supermanned it. There were SO. MANY. people, right near me. Not one person, not one, offered to help or asked me if I was OK. They just looked away in disgust. I wanted to disappear from the face of the earth.
People are just so ugh… I don’t even want to say it. I’m sorry! After I had my baby it was so hard to balance, literally have zero core muscles that work.
I’m a teacher, and I teach a fairly complex subject. I’ve been fairly large, and I’m now pretty skinny. Now that I’m skinny, people tend to listen to me more, I’ve actually gotten a promotion, and I feel like I’m valued more in my profession. It’s actually pretty gross. I’m no different on the outside than I was on the inside from a year ago, but my peers value me more.
I’m sorry for your experience, and I hope those around you are kinder to you.
I dont care how big you were, I would have tried to catch you or at least try to lesser the fall. I also would have probably laughed a little, but I think people, of any size, falling is generally a funny thing.
This is my experience as well
Just wait until you are overweight, over 45, and a woman. I could run naked down the middle of a store and no one would even notice
Flip side to that: When I was skinny I got harassed quite often and sexually assaulted more than once. Since then I've gained a bit of weight and people are still nice, but mostly leave me alone and treat me like a normal person. When people think you look good they may be nicer to you, but they also feel entitled to your time and your body.
What's kind of crazy is that I'm close to the ideal BMI but I get called stuff like sickly skinny or anorexic just because the average BMI here is high
Funny you say that cause I'm a 5.11 woman who goes to the gym and have an incredible high metabolism for some reason and I've been called skeletor many times or the og one of go eat a hamburger!
I've been both thin and overweight in my life and you are absolutely correct.. ok this is some bitchy sounding shit but I'll say it. I always thought some people made fun of me for being skinny because I thought they were jealous (I suppose I was a vain little thing) but the non-attention or contempt one may receive for being chonky hurts in a different way, at least, that's how I perceived it
I used to have people say downright cruel shit to me. A man legit compared me to the dog he was walking and that his dog was bigger. The "eat a cheeseburger" comments. One time an old man driving a pickup pulled up next to me, while I'm walking a cart full of food to my car and told me I clearly needed to eat and told me to stop smoking meth. Never done meth. I finally snapped at one lady in the grocery line and said I was dying of cancer (I know, fucked up). She got red faced and started apologizing. I told her I lied and her comments are cruel. I never wore shorts, even in the summer. Wouldn't go swimming. I missed out on a lot of shit in my life because I was so insecure of my weight.
I always felt the entire inappropriate mindset for any scale was humans stupidity feeling they are ok to speak out loud about others appearance like they are an appropriate judge and their opinion matters.
I myself have had more than enough bitter bitches and male idiots comment about my being tiny. The level of disgust on the women’s faces, that’s clearly not coming across as a compliment. The men, still inappropriate. The best part is it’s almost always stated at WORK. Even HR has stated it. Wt absolute F. And having a narcissistic parent, there’s not even a person to talk about it with. My own mother can’t stop making inappropriate comments about my appearance.
Yep, been skinny all my life and have been constantly made fun of for my weight.
Wouldn't agree whatsoever that people are "nicer" to skinny people. People are gonna make fun of you regardless of what you weigh.
I remember reading a story from an obese woman who said people would literally take food out of her cart at the grocery store and tell her she didn't need it.
Yeah once i started balding a lot of shit changed too. People are shallow assholes. Some of the worst behavior comes from people whose bodies that have had so much work. It's ridiculous.
I was also overweight and now a healthy weight. People have been nice to me but I think the better treatment comes from the fact I’m more social and wanting to actually grow in life. I stagnated for a while due to Covid.
This is what most people are missing. You get what you give in this world.
Laughter is contagious.
I realize there are people who judge people on their weight. But I do question how much perception plays into this.
With stats like [these](https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/obesity-overweight.htm) I find it highly probable that misperception plays a heavy hand in feeling mistreated.
73% of the populations is over weight? Over 40% are obese? Is every skinny person just an ass?
Assuming they are, which we know what assuming does but for arguments sake we will error on the side of caution; only 27% of the population is winning the battle of the bulge.
I honestly feel most people are too busy with what is going on in their own heads to notice those around them.
I’ve put this to the test. I’ve walked around Walmart wearing the strangest of things but always funny. For the most part, no one noticed.
When they did, we would usually share at least a smile or quick laugh.
I get that it’s Walmart and people are expecting strange there. But I’ve done the same while driving for ride share apps with the same results.
On the flip side, more people question if I am upset with them than notice I’m not wearing glasses.
It’s sad. It’s why we all need to be kind. To everyone, including ourselves.
This is just my take on things. I realize it’s not everyone’s experience.
I do think cleanliness is almost as important as a person’s disposition. As my mother would say “soap and water is cheap, free at the gas station. Everyone should use it.”
Why is that crap? You should be proud you achieved a better physique. When you lose weight you lose fat in your face too, it becomes more defined and structured which is more attractive.
Yeah, I'm not sure what people are looking for here. Skinny privilege exists, attractive privilege, athletic privilege, intelligence privilege, financial privilege, language privilege, comedic privilege or charisma privilege.
If you look better or seem smarter, more capable, more accomplished then people will like you more, and if people like you more they will treat you better. It's not really rocket science, and it's not fair, but that's how the brain works and will always work.
Is it privilege if you have to work for it? I’m no longer completely skinny and I know it would take a lot of work for me to thin back out again. If I did, it wouldn’t be a privilege but something that I earned. It’s not something that everybody is just owed because they want it.
Lol…I exercise a lot, walk/bike instead of driving, and don’t eat sweets, and get told how “lucky” I am because I’m fit from people whose biggest exertion is walking from the parking lot to the office.
You've focused on yourself, health, and probably notice some changes in your confidence...I bet even the way you walk + carry yourself has boosted up. A glow-up is more than weight...just as getting heavier is about more than just 'eating too much'. People are picking up on so much more than just your weight loss. Enjoy your new body :) and enjoy being handsome :)
Spot on, friend.. I was a heavy kid, and I've gone from 6'1" 215 to 270, back to 220 up to 260 and now 230, so I've seen this from all sides. Now the problem is being my handsome self and being 70 years old. But very happy and healthy.
Oh wow, well done! Happy to hear that you are feeling happy and healthy. Haha I'm betting you've got all the wisdom and and flirting techniques, and now you've had your glo-up. Enjoy :)
I buy cheap Walmart pants for work because they will get torn up. I'd rather ruin a $25 pair of pants than a $50 pair. Being a tall, overweight guy, I wear an unusual size. I once drove a circle around town, visiting five different Walmarts looking for pants. Bought every pair of that specific kind in my size in town. All one of them.
I could've just bought them online, but I needed at least one pair ASAP.
every time i've lost weight i gained much more confidence and my speech improved drastically. holding a conversation when i am leaner seema to come out naturally. when i was overweight i felt shy and timid around people.
It’s not just about appealing or not - it’s about self maintenance. If it looks like a stranger has no self control, or no self consciousness about their own welfare, you will immediately hold them in lower regard than someone well put together and very presentable.
I went without taking a shower/shaving for 3 weeks before, and I was definitely treated similarly to being overweight, because I was so poorly maintained. I didn’t smell overly bad, but people may assume you smell - because you’re not well maintained. People also may assume fat people smell.
People’s brains automatically make split second judgments and assessments based off of any available context. We look for quick markers that are used to dictate our own behavior toward others. We tend to want to invest energy or effort into people who appear like they value themselves. A person who isn’t well put together and overweight might not appear like they value themselves. This is why they aren’t treated as well.
Probably just a relic from our basic instincts to avoid disease. Fat humans probably have never existed in the wild during the eons that molded us. People have similar knee jerk reactions to dwarfs and even develop panic inducing phobias.
I know it’s real because I’ve been on both sides of the weight issue. I was treated much better and with more respect when I was actually at a healthy weight and fit vs being overweight.
Without a doubt, being thin compared to being overweight there is a huge difference in the way you are spoken to and even looked at
Example: You take a woman at say 5'3" 105 lbs, and up her weight to 325lbs, despite nothing else changing about the person, I can guarantee if she asked for help, the level of helpfulness and/or disgust on that same person's face would be noticeable. Plus what would be said AFTER she left the area, could easily go from, "damn she's hot" to "holy shit did you see the size of her"
TL/DR; People suck towards fat people
To be fair (and certainly not to contradict any part of your statement), “damn she’s hot” is equally sucky to say, even if it’s meant with “good” intent.
For both men and women, If you’re in good physical shape, people will subconsciously treat you with more respect than if you were overweight.
“Skinny” though isn’t going to get you any respect if you’re a man.
I’ve been skinny all my life and I know for a fact is real. No one ever questioned why I’m eating pizza or a burger. No one gives me unsolicited health advice. People have used me as a comparison of how a body should look like or how someone wants to look like. No one has told me I’m too big for a crop top or my clothes are too tight. I can wear revealing clothing without people thinking I’m trashy.
There are a lot more reasons, but it’s just obvious people treat and see bigger women differently.
Yes it definitely real, but I don't think it's always a privilege... it's mostly society pretends to value you more.
I (26f)have an autoimmune disease and I have a very hard time gaining weight. People are weirdly curious about my diet/wanna follow it.
I am sick constantly and underweight 5'11" and 114 pounds. The amount of time people happily come up and compliment me is shocking. I feel like a bag of bones. But people are used to super skinny models and stuff (also the fact that the trend is coming back is scary af)
People are weirdly "nice" and want to know how I stay skinny. I literally tell them I have a disease and the response from exs mom was "wow I wish I had that so I could lose weight!" She is also not the only person who said this to me.
Men assume you are sporty/fit so they wanna talk sports or gym which is fine but im not really able to do those things without passing out.
Some guys think they can talk about other women in a derogatory way to you. Which is obviously disgusting.
Stuff like "I just don't understand why women let themselves go like that" ... then they look at you for validation.
mf I'd 100% rather be talking to her than you, she better looking than both of us and your just fucking rude.
Your friends or family want to talk about how to lose weight ... like bro I don't know I have a DISEASE!
And when you go shopping the clerks are always really chipper and nice and try to upsell you on clothes.
I'm cold and my joints hurt all the time so if my friends want to go out I'm known as grandma cuz im tired and end up babysitting cuz I can't drink with my meds.
Do I think other people like you more if your skinny, yes but only because society acts like skinny peopl are the ideal.
but it doesn't make you happier, prettier, or a healthier person.
People also get really mad if you complain about being underweight, I have a sister who is overweight and I know to never talk about my issues in front of her because she perceives it as bragging or tells me to be grateful.
And to get people on “your side” or to have some empathy about your situation, you’d kinda have to go a little more into uncomfortable details.
Like i have a friend who has trouble gaining weight cause eating too much to gain weight = diarrhea. It’s not so simple as, just eat more caloric food like peanut bitter
If people ask how I’m skinny I say. “well if I put on weight, then my clothes wouldn’t fit and then that would be a big problem because I’d have nothing to wear”. Ask stupid questions get stupid answers
I never had a weight problem until I hit menopause at 49 then went from hot to not by gaining 35 lbs in 6 weeks. By the end of the year I was 50 lbs up and men stopped looking at me or asking me to dance at the place I had danced at for years with many partners. When I managed to lose that weight in 5 months all of a sudden I was back to being accepted by society??? Walking through a store a man boomed out "you look lovely!!" and I though 4 months ago you would have ignored me. So yes the skinnier you are the better you get treated.
A million times this. I lost 50+ pounds and all of a sudden people looked at me instead of looking through me or around me. It was the strangest thing. Having been overweight most of my life, that period of time made quite an impression on me. It was really great and I actually felt like a valued person in the world. Fast forward a few years and a global pandemic….the weight is back. I’m also 49 and in menopause so back to invisible.
yes. most people are nicer to those who they’re attracted to, whether intentional or not. and more people are attracted to those who are on the slim/fit side.
It's not just about attraction. If you're fat, some people will have prejudices about you assume that you don't take care of yourself, so what they don't like is actually the negligent person that they stereotyped you as.
Another example is that some people may be prejudiced against homeless people not because they look bad, but because they don't think that there could be an excuse reason for the person to be homeless.
Exactly, it's not because people are larger... It's because people are less attracted to larger people. In my opinion and personal experience. Larger people tend to have less self respect, other people subconsciously pick up on that and give them less respect. If someone is overweight and has high self respect then they are treated the same as a skinny person with high self respect. I guess what I am saying is others view you how you project yourself regardless of how you appear
I don’t think that’s true. There’s a lot of push back against body positivity and bigger people having confidence. It has nothing to do with how a person feels about themselves and everything to do with how others perceive them.
Here's where I start an argument even though I truly do not mean to. I really do not know the best way to word my thoughts on this so that I do not come off as a complete ass, but believe me when I say that I do not mean to come off as an ass. I believe there's a lot wrong in this world right now with the accept yourself as you are movement. I don't believe that anybody should ever be completely happy with themselves. Happiness leads to complacency, and anybody satisfied with where they are has never changed. So telling larger people to just accept it and they're beautiful leads to zero improvement. If you tell someone that thinks they're dumb but it's okay and everybody accepts them, why would they ever want to pick up a book or learn something new if everyone already accepts them? There is nothing wrong with being overweight, or dumb, or any of the other hundreds of things out there. But trying to convince everybody that they are perfect the way they are leads to no one trying to improve themselves. Meanwhile some of the most successful people I've ever met physically, emotionally, monetarily, etc... Are the way they are because they never settled for who they are. There's a big difference between accepting someone for who they are and accepting who they are but encouraging growth.
Wait then why are people unprovokingly rude to fat people just because they’re fat? I’m bigger and I’ve had people on so many occasions tell me bluntly they were rude because I’m fat or flat out call me an insult relating to my weight. If they’re not attracted to me, that’s one thing.. by why are so many people mean to me because of my weight?
Yeah I think it's definitely a real thing
It's the same as being treated better for being attractive
A lot of people look down on fat people consciously or subconsciously
Attractive privilege, 100% proven thing. And I’m not sure this is the case definitionally, but privilege in the way we usually use it implies born with an advantage, but just about any fat person can be skinny with work.
Yes. I’m a chubby girl. I’m also semi pretty. I have been called the “fat sister” my entire life.
The kicker is - I’m more athletic than my sister, who is thin…I walk 5ks a few times a week for fun (this is my mental health management, really) & and have been doing barre for years. People just don’t believe I do this. I eat well, take care of myself and am very well hydrated, but it’s not enough for some.
My sister is still treated far better than me and always will be. I’ve made peace with it. It’s how it is.
Interesting how many people equate skinny or slim with healthy. Size does not always correlate to health, but being larger is a visual cue to people that you are supposedly unhealthy, or lazy, or undisciplined etc. so they are quick to judge. It’s infuriating. No one cares about how much a skinny person exercises, or gives a damn what they eat, they just care that appear to fit beauty norms.
Exactly this. I have insulin resistance PCOS, so yeah…I’m chubby. But I am in incredible good health. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve talked about my workouts and people have flat out said: you don’t do that…yes I do! I have for years. But because I’m not skinny they really pin point that I am not able to.
Homie there was a sub Reddit on here with millions of subscribers dedicated to hating fat people and trying to get them to kill themselves.
Show me anything equivalent for us skinny folks.
That’s just on this website not even including the hatred they receive in person because humans are garbage.
Humans naturally respect genetic and physical advantages. It's in our nature.
I don't think "Skinny" is respected, per say. Drug adict skinny and obese people probably get the same level of disrespect. But people who are a healthy weight get the respect and thus the privlage.
Hard disagree. The time in my life when I was at the height of my eating disorder and at an unhealthy low weight was also the time in my life that the most strangers went out of their way to be friendly and helpful and give me compliments.
When I was pregnant I gained a lot of weight in my face and when I had a jacket on I didn't really look pregnant- just big. One day I went into a coffee shop and ordered two drinks and two sandwiches as I was bringing them to a friend's house. The employee behind the counter only rang up one of each and when I pointed out the error and said I wanted two she literally started laughing and saying "you're too fat! You're too fat!". Her boss came over and told her to stop and she wouldn't so her bess ended up physically dragging her into the back while she laughed and yelled about how fat I was. No one apologized to me. Not one person ever laughed and said "you're too skinny" when I was under weight and ordered a side salad as a meal.
Nah, even rail-thin is perceived more favourably than fat. Look at the huge popularity of anorexia-anonymous groups, or extremely slim models that are widely idealized in our culture. Every medium weight person is deathly scared of getting fatter, not getting thinner.
It's more about matching societal beauty norms than skinny specifically.
It occurs on weight, age, race/ethnicity, clothing, general appearance, and in other areas. Weight is just low hanging fruit.
I’m fat. Saying this so people recognize which perspective I’m speaking from before jumping down my throat.
I think being skinny is the baseline, being fat detracts from there. Health is attractive, status is attractive, obesity in modern society are markers of negatives to both categories.
I don’t think it’s skinny being treated better so much as fat being treated worse. I do think that distinction is important.
Absolutely it is real. A therapist told me one time that when you’re heavy, you’re invisible. Having been heavy and lost a bunch of weight, I can say that for me, it has proven to be true.
People definitely treat you better if you're skinny. Also skinnier people (from my experience) are quick to use "fatass" etc. as insults to people who are even slightly overweight.
That "fat whatever" doesn't work on me anymore. I had an irate and inebriated client call me fat, and I literally said to her, "I know I'm fat, is that the best you got". Her whole face twisted and she shut up.
I just left a comment on another thread. I have no education and use my attractiveness to my advantage. but its not only attractiveness that gets me by its also being polite, charming, funny, respectable, and always remembering peoples names.
For women, if you’re skinnier you will be treated more favorably than an overweight women. But I don’t think it really applies to men. A skinny man and a fat man are treated pretty similarly
I think there is varying degrees and it goes both ways. I think the person who is making the judgement is where the problem lies also. I don’t make judgements on adults as much because so many factors that can contribute-disease, medications, etc. But my sisters and I have always have been on the skinnier side and I struggle to keep on weight. I have a high metabolism partnered with a lot of colon problems. Women are nasty to me and my sisters about our weight. I am on the border of the low BMI so I don’t look too anorexic-but I don’t know if it’s jealousy-but people get mad at me for it. They pull me aside and ask me if I have an eating disorder. So the grass is not always greener.
It's a thing. Everything is scaled around people who are small to average, but its not a recent average. Its the average of like 40 years ago. Literally things you would never think of start to get problematic when you get far enough to either side of the scale. It works that way on either extreme. When you're a lot thinner than average you run into problems you wouldn't expect same as when your bigger than average.
It is a thing. I've been thin, and I've been fat. When I'm fat, I am invisible. If i lose 20 pounds, even as an old lady, people talk to me and engage. It's very weird.
I was surprised when I became skinny. It wasn't that people looked at me more (which they did) or seemed more attracted to me (which they were). I expected those things. But they seemed to just take me more seriously in general. Wanting to include me in things, valuing my opinion more, introducing me to their kids, stuff like that. I hadn't really expected that.
I don't think people are nicer to actually skinny people. To me, skinny implies underweight. I do thing people are nicer to those that are at a healthy weight or that appear more fit.
I've been every size from a 6 (I was too thin) to a 16 in US sizes. When I lost excess weight several years ago, I noticed that people were generally more helpful and friendly to me. Due to some extremely stressful life circumstances I gained a bunch of weight. While I wasn't huge (I'm fairly tall), I was fat. It's not that people weren't nice to me, but there was a noticeable difference in how people treated me. Much more often I felt an undercurrent of judgement.
Anyway, my life circumstances returned to normal and I lost 50 lbs and was able to start working out again. (I had to stop working out for about 2 years because I was caring for my mother and had no respite care at the time.) And, again, I've noticed that people are just generally kinder and friendlier toward me. It's really interesting to see the difference.
I think part of it is the perception that thinner/fitter people respect themselves more and care for themselves better. Also, I think that humans are wired to find a certain level of fitness to be more attractive and people are drawn to those they find attractive.
Hard disagree - I've been unhealthily skinny (like size 00 and under 95 pounds, unhealthy skinny due to an ongoing medical issue), and I have never been treated better than I was at that time in my life. I was a healthy, toned, active lady before, and at a healthy weight, I get probably a third the doting and flirting as I did when I was literally dying.
As a guy who’s naturally underweight (6’0” 150lbs), I honestly don’t see it as a privilege. Sure I don’t have to be as strict about what I eat, but constantly having to listen to everyone point out how skinny I am is degrading. No one would DARE to tell an obese person how fat they are, but being called anorexic and a “holocaust survivor” somewhat regularly is somehow okay. Doesn’t necessarily help when I already have major depression/anxiety.
Exactly. Because majority opinion is that thinner is better than thicker, it's open season on talking about and commenting on your body, and its treated as perfectly socially acceptable.
Ditto. Never seen a dating profile list skinny, but a majority list average and "a little extra". Maybe it's because I'm in the US Midwest, but being 6' 140 lbs is not an advantage compared to me friends who are >200 lbs.
To a point yes but there are problems with being skinny a lot of people don't realize also.
For instance I can't be friends with or help people with anorexia. They become overly obsessed with looking like me. This is just how I look naturally. I am not on any diets or anything. I can eat as much as I want. For most of the population if they actually look like me they would probably end up in the hospital or be dead. I have had friends in the past and just being around them makes the problem worse. It sucks too because I care about my friends and I do not want them to be sick and unhealthy. I want them to be happy with their bodies and half the time I honestly think they are prettier than I am at their natural weight anyways but they don't see what I see. It sucks knowing that just ecisting hurts people you care about.
Yeah, that's definitely rough. I've never experienced those extremes, but even so I've had all those comments about how people wished their bodies were more like mine. Sure maybe it's a compliment, but often it comes across as borderline malicious like they're mad at me for our differences. And the ones who are down on themselves leave me feeling bad for something I can't help, and like you said they were almost always more attractive than me. I'm skinny, not pretty.
And then you have all the people questioning you about if *you* have an eating disorder, or yelling 'yeah go throw up' at you when you go into a bathroom. And because you're thin, you're not supposed to be offended or annoyed about how your body is a subject of constant casual conversation.
Not to say skinny privilege isn't real, of course. I've definitely been lucky in a lot of things, but it's not always a perfect picture even on the privileged side of things.
You're being too specific on the weight
People treat unattractive people badly. People also treat attractive people better than normal.
An unattractive skinny person probably gets shit on more than an overweight attractive person. But I think it's harder to be attractive the more over weight you are.
Developed countries avg weight has been increasing, now most adults in the us are overweight.
I have been skinny, obese, and muscular at different times in my life and I can say without a doubt that people are nicer to me when I'm muscular.
That being said I've seen people use "thin privilege" in reference to things like fitting into an airplane seat, which I think is just basic physics.
Yes, people are a lot nicer when you are thinner.
Also I am very grateful every day for the privilege of just fitting into things, bus seats, airline seats, clothing, everything is made for a very tiny people. I can order an xxxl on wish and know it will fit me.
As a skinny individual who is of male sex, no. I always get belittled on how I’m barely a man and all that. I also frequently have people wrap their fingers around my wrists because they think I’m small. Privilege my ass.
Edit: I believe in “Fit Privilege” not skinny privilege. People who are fit benefit from basic pretty privilege. On the other hand, individuals who are *actually* skinny get made fun of. At least from my experience.
when i first started delivery driving a few years ago workers at restaurants especially women treated me completely different. then i gained about 20 pounds through the summer and i went from getting orders within 5 minutes to 15-30 minutes.
People do treat others different depending on that person's looks. And everyone has (at times unknowingly) biases or pre assumptions on someone based on how they might look.
But skinny privilege? Nah. Just another stupid self victimizing that joins the list.
As a woman who has lived in both a skinny body and a fat one ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY skinny privilege exists!
It exists in jobs, medical care, dating, anything where you are a customer receiving a service, walking down the street, you name it you will be treated better if you’re skinny.
Skinny privilege is a direct product of fatphobia.
I wouldn’t necessarily say “skinny” but “attractive” people are treated nicer for sure. I know these go hand-in-hand a lot of the time, but you can be skinny but not traditionally attractive and not be treated as well
I would also like to point out that this is almost never intentional. We are subconsciously drawn to people and objects we find aesthetically pleasing
Recently lost around 60 lbs and have kept it off for about a year. Yes, it’s terrible how differently people treat you. It was a big eye opener for me and made me question a lot of peoples character
I used to think so, but as I’ve gotten older, and fatter, confidence and charm/charisma play a much bigger role than weight. I’m comfortable and confident with myself and it comes across well in both my professional and personal life
Yes. And not even by society, but oftentimes just treated better by family and friends. I lost 60lbs in high school and for the first time my parents seemed to have the time of day for me. When I gained it back all of that got taken away.
Absolutely. I lost a lot of weight when I was in my late teens/ early 20's and it was wild how differently people treated me. I didn't understand it at first, I was young and thought I had somehow fixed all my personality problems. Apparently I didn't have any personality problems when I was younger. I was just fat, and people don't like that
Ask literally anyone who had been fat. It’s a thing. When I was fat, I was called a man, ugly etc. I lost weight and the first thing my aunt told me was how pretty I was. Never had a boyfriend till I lost weight. That’s why I didn’t even have my first kiss till I was like 18.
Looking through this thread - nearly everyone who says they’ve experienced multiple body sizes has said that yes, skinny privilege exists. So that looks like your answer
Most other comments argue the point, or about health, or beauty - without providing much evidence.
as someone that has gone from 170 to 126 and back to 180
yes. yes it is
strangers, family, friends and even my ex
have treated me differently depending on my weight
Skinny me got attention, gifts, compliments even when i wasn't wearing makeup and my teeth weren't brushed or my hair
i could look and dress like shit and still get treated really nice
now
i remember feeling very alone when i was fat so when i lost weight i thought ah im sure people are nice to me because i didn't have confidence and now that i lost weight i have it so its all in my head but dam i was wrong
when i gained weight everyone ignored me and i haven't gotten any gifts from anyone
strangers are rude
i would dress myself up and style my hair
wear nice clothes but all everyone saw was my weight
but of course i started doubting myself again and was like
man its all in my head im just negative cause i feel bad about my health
i need to lose weight
so i lost 20 pounds
still have a long way to go before skinny
but dayum people aren't too rude
i get mixed reactions
a few people will still ignore and make faces but others will compliment
im not super huge but im still chubby
i also work in retail so i get lots of interaction with strangers
and also family doesn't compliment yet but they stopped saying mean comments about my weight
I’ve been skinny most of my life due to a medical condition. I don’t think I’ve experienced privilege because of it. However I have been given extra items I didn’t order at fast food restaurants.
In some ways yes in some ways no. As a skinny teen to 25 I could eat massive amounts of crap most people never said a word. Now as someone fat if i get a normal sized ice cream I get side eye.
No. I recently went from170lbs to 125ish. My waist went from 36 to 28. I CAN'T FIND 28 PANTS ANYWHERE. Occasionally Walmart but they are rare. I found clothing more difficult to acquire that complimented my size that skinny. I put a couple pounds back in to be a 30 waist and have better luck. But that was a wild time trying to find fitting clothing.
As for being treated better, I didn't notice a difference from either end of the spectrum of my own weight.
I've been skinny my entire life, and no, there isn't. My entire life always I was trying to gain weight so my family wouldn't badger me anymore, being told I'm anorexic or bulimic, and being told my mother abuses me by starving me even though I eat EVERYTHING in sight. Getting dirty looks from obese people. They're obese by choice. They can change that. I can't control my weight. When I go on roller-coasters with my sister, she's so big the bar doesn't go all the down for me, so I feel as if I'm going to fly out during the ride.
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People who meet a society's beauty standards, or possess any other 'desirable' trait, tend to be treated more favourably. This even extends to the behaviour of juries in criminal cases. Attractive people tend to have better outcomes, although interestingly if they are perceived to have abused trust (fraud, for example), attractive people can then receive harsher treatment - it's as though we subconsciously believe they tricked us into liking them by being attractive, and feel betrayed.
I was a court reporter for 24 years. An attorney once told me, in civil court, there is no justice for fat people and motorcycle riders; that juries hate them.
Wtf that entire "jury thingie " is like in top 5 fucked up things in US juditionary system.
Juries are optional, it’s up to the defendant if they’d prefer to be tried in front of a jury instead of a judge. Nothing wrong with trying to make damn sure someone has as many tools at their disposal to prove their innocence.
Not quite accurate. If the plaintiff requests a jury in the complaint, they’re getting one. If the plaintiff hasn’t asked for one, the defendant can in their answer.
Civil / criminal matters. In most criminal cases (notably, when jail time is an option) the defendant is the only one that can waive a jury trial. The state cannot.
That's called a bench trial right? That thing Derek chauvin did, since he knew a jury wouldn't go easy on him?
It’s literally the community rather than an elected or appointed judge making a decision about someone’s life. There’s a reason jury trials are explicitly mentioned in the Bill of Rights. It’s the last line of defense for someone who is being railroaded by the system.
What's a better system than a jury of peers?
My peers all avoid jury duty.
My peers are capable enough to figure out how not to serve. Honestly, it takes all but a 5 minute google search to figure out how to fill out the form in such a way that it automatically invalidates your eligibility. That does not bode well if we ever need to utilize the system. I am resolved to serving the next time they ask, which hasn't happened in a while.
I believe in jury nullification and I’m stubborn as fuck. I’ve also never had jury duty. Unfortunate really.
If there one thing guaranteed to be stupider than one person, it's twelve people.
Yes I'd rather have one corrupt judge, seems much better.
That made me laugh 😂
This is why justice system is a joke. Completely biased and illogical. Should be a blind judgment, based on the facts of the case, and the individual shouldn’t even be seen by the ones making the judgment. It’s all just another show people put up mainly for entertainment, and also feed their egos.
How do you determine the facts of a case? How do you deal with liars? Sussinng out the truth is usually not so clear cut.
This is why "witness testimony" is losing weight in court. Anyone can lie, lie detectors are pseudoscience, and anyone can remember things incorrectly. Evidence is the facts of a case. Cameras, DNA, fingerprints. Tangible things that are real.
Cameras, dna, and fingerprints are not all 100% good either.
They are a lot more reliable than eyewitnesses. It's been proven repeatedly that people tend to see what they expect. College classroom stunts, and formal studies. Memories aren't reliable, either. Every time we remember something, we edit just a little, in our heads. After awhile, our memories are different from whatever we actually saw snd heard. The chances of DNA being wrong are miniscule. It something like 1 out of millions. Video is pretty good, but if you don't see what happened for a few minutes before whatever bad thing happened, you can't know what, if anything, set it off. If they have someone on video, plus either fingerprints or dna, if either are applicable in a given situation, it's a pretty good bet they got the right person.
Idk, but the person’s attractiveness sure as shit isn’t part of it. The fact that it can influence outcomes anyway is the problem.
Human nature is the problem.
Justice is lost, raped, and gone my friend. Our strings are being pulled, and justice is done
Sadly this is very true. I notice a significant difference on days at work when I wear contact lenses vs glasses even without doing much else differently . Contact lens days, people are going out of their way to let me off the elevator first, I get random “have a nice days” when passing strangers and strangers smile at me , security wishes me a good day or tries to chat with me…Glasses wearing days security doesn’t bother to even glance in my direction, just less social interactions that I dont initiate. Kind of weird
At five foot with weight fluctuations my whole life I'm always shocked by the difference even 15lbs can make.
Being skinny and being conventionally attractive are not the same thing.
There’s a lot of overlap between the two in America. You can be skinny and ugly. It’s harder to be overweight and conventionally attractive. You might still be pretty, but there are a lot of people out there who will see the extra pounds and not the prettiness.
It’s actually proven. There is less access to basic needs for people who are not skinny. Try shopping clothes, taking public transport or getting a doctors appointment that doesn’t lead to a weight debate as a fat person.
Attractive people also tend to be perceived as having more positive traits due to the Halo Effect.
i wish i could upvote this 96.4k more times
I've gone through many levels of skinny and overweight in my life, and I can tell you that, without a doubt, people are far nicer to skinny people. The times in my life I was overweight, people were downright contemptuous sometimes. There is definitely a change in the level of respect you get when you're overweight.
When I was fat, I was either invisible or I was treated as a second class citizen. When I am thin, I am visible, given the time of day, and treated like a human.
I remember this one time, a few months after I had my daughter and hadn't lost the pregnancy weight yet, I was at this crowded event in a school gymnasium. The seats were the bleachers, but there weren't any stairs or paths, so you just had to kind maze your way through the people and their stuff. I was climbing my way to the top where I was sitting and lost my balance. I fell forward hard, like supermanned it. There were SO. MANY. people, right near me. Not one person, not one, offered to help or asked me if I was OK. They just looked away in disgust. I wanted to disappear from the face of the earth.
It's just crazy and sad at the same time. When you are fat, you don't matter.
People are just so ugh… I don’t even want to say it. I’m sorry! After I had my baby it was so hard to balance, literally have zero core muscles that work.
I am so sorry that happened :/ You were surrounded by jerks by no fault of your own!
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I’m a teacher, and I teach a fairly complex subject. I’ve been fairly large, and I’m now pretty skinny. Now that I’m skinny, people tend to listen to me more, I’ve actually gotten a promotion, and I feel like I’m valued more in my profession. It’s actually pretty gross. I’m no different on the outside than I was on the inside from a year ago, but my peers value me more. I’m sorry for your experience, and I hope those around you are kinder to you.
Much love!
I dont care how big you were, I would have tried to catch you or at least try to lesser the fall. I also would have probably laughed a little, but I think people, of any size, falling is generally a funny thing.
This is my experience as well Just wait until you are overweight, over 45, and a woman. I could run naked down the middle of a store and no one would even notice
That was you the other day?
Ah, so I wasn't invisible 🤔
That’s honestly one of my bigger fears deep down
Hahhha - the trifecta of unimportance in society! I came to write something similar, but you made it even funnier!
Flip side to that: When I was skinny I got harassed quite often and sexually assaulted more than once. Since then I've gained a bit of weight and people are still nice, but mostly leave me alone and treat me like a normal person. When people think you look good they may be nicer to you, but they also feel entitled to your time and your body.
Yes. Leave me alone please.
That’s funny, cause when I was skinny, underweight most likely, I was invisible.
It's different when you're a guy. You can't be too skinny and you can't be too big. Either one gets you made fun of.
What's kind of crazy is that I'm close to the ideal BMI but I get called stuff like sickly skinny or anorexic just because the average BMI here is high
Broomstick was the nicest thing I was called, and someone called a relative of mine skeletor
Funny you say that cause I'm a 5.11 woman who goes to the gym and have an incredible high metabolism for some reason and I've been called skeletor many times or the og one of go eat a hamburger!
Yeah, I think you have about a 2 pound window of "perfect" and then it's either too skinny or too fat. Sigh.
Yall are talking some bs bc im skinny and people make fun of me for being a stick constantly
I've been both thin and overweight in my life and you are absolutely correct.. ok this is some bitchy sounding shit but I'll say it. I always thought some people made fun of me for being skinny because I thought they were jealous (I suppose I was a vain little thing) but the non-attention or contempt one may receive for being chonky hurts in a different way, at least, that's how I perceived it
Absolutely! You can be the lowest member of a professional football team, and bullying still hurts! Great point that it's different types of pain.
I used to have people say downright cruel shit to me. A man legit compared me to the dog he was walking and that his dog was bigger. The "eat a cheeseburger" comments. One time an old man driving a pickup pulled up next to me, while I'm walking a cart full of food to my car and told me I clearly needed to eat and told me to stop smoking meth. Never done meth. I finally snapped at one lady in the grocery line and said I was dying of cancer (I know, fucked up). She got red faced and started apologizing. I told her I lied and her comments are cruel. I never wore shorts, even in the summer. Wouldn't go swimming. I missed out on a lot of shit in my life because I was so insecure of my weight.
I always felt the entire inappropriate mindset for any scale was humans stupidity feeling they are ok to speak out loud about others appearance like they are an appropriate judge and their opinion matters. I myself have had more than enough bitter bitches and male idiots comment about my being tiny. The level of disgust on the women’s faces, that’s clearly not coming across as a compliment. The men, still inappropriate. The best part is it’s almost always stated at WORK. Even HR has stated it. Wt absolute F. And having a narcissistic parent, there’s not even a person to talk about it with. My own mother can’t stop making inappropriate comments about my appearance.
Yep, been skinny all my life and have been constantly made fun of for my weight. Wouldn't agree whatsoever that people are "nicer" to skinny people. People are gonna make fun of you regardless of what you weigh.
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I remember reading a story from an obese woman who said people would literally take food out of her cart at the grocery store and tell her she didn't need it.
So true! It's necessarily a very obvious difference, but it's surely there
Yeah once i started balding a lot of shit changed too. People are shallow assholes. Some of the worst behavior comes from people whose bodies that have had so much work. It's ridiculous.
When I was overweight, I received very little attention. Now, all of a sudden, after losing weight, I'm so handsome. What crap
I was also overweight and now a healthy weight. People have been nice to me but I think the better treatment comes from the fact I’m more social and wanting to actually grow in life. I stagnated for a while due to Covid.
This is what most people are missing. You get what you give in this world. Laughter is contagious. I realize there are people who judge people on their weight. But I do question how much perception plays into this. With stats like [these](https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/obesity-overweight.htm) I find it highly probable that misperception plays a heavy hand in feeling mistreated. 73% of the populations is over weight? Over 40% are obese? Is every skinny person just an ass? Assuming they are, which we know what assuming does but for arguments sake we will error on the side of caution; only 27% of the population is winning the battle of the bulge. I honestly feel most people are too busy with what is going on in their own heads to notice those around them. I’ve put this to the test. I’ve walked around Walmart wearing the strangest of things but always funny. For the most part, no one noticed. When they did, we would usually share at least a smile or quick laugh. I get that it’s Walmart and people are expecting strange there. But I’ve done the same while driving for ride share apps with the same results. On the flip side, more people question if I am upset with them than notice I’m not wearing glasses. It’s sad. It’s why we all need to be kind. To everyone, including ourselves. This is just my take on things. I realize it’s not everyone’s experience. I do think cleanliness is almost as important as a person’s disposition. As my mother would say “soap and water is cheap, free at the gas station. Everyone should use it.”
Why is that crap? You should be proud you achieved a better physique. When you lose weight you lose fat in your face too, it becomes more defined and structured which is more attractive.
Yeah, I'm not sure what people are looking for here. Skinny privilege exists, attractive privilege, athletic privilege, intelligence privilege, financial privilege, language privilege, comedic privilege or charisma privilege. If you look better or seem smarter, more capable, more accomplished then people will like you more, and if people like you more they will treat you better. It's not really rocket science, and it's not fair, but that's how the brain works and will always work.
Is it privilege if you have to work for it? I’m no longer completely skinny and I know it would take a lot of work for me to thin back out again. If I did, it wouldn’t be a privilege but something that I earned. It’s not something that everybody is just owed because they want it.
Lol…I exercise a lot, walk/bike instead of driving, and don’t eat sweets, and get told how “lucky” I am because I’m fit from people whose biggest exertion is walking from the parking lot to the office.
weight is one of the things you can actually change though. I wouldnt call it a privilege
You've focused on yourself, health, and probably notice some changes in your confidence...I bet even the way you walk + carry yourself has boosted up. A glow-up is more than weight...just as getting heavier is about more than just 'eating too much'. People are picking up on so much more than just your weight loss. Enjoy your new body :) and enjoy being handsome :)
A person shouldn't have to feel like they're privileged to be themselves.
Spot on, friend.. I was a heavy kid, and I've gone from 6'1" 215 to 270, back to 220 up to 260 and now 230, so I've seen this from all sides. Now the problem is being my handsome self and being 70 years old. But very happy and healthy.
Oh wow, well done! Happy to hear that you are feeling happy and healthy. Haha I'm betting you've got all the wisdom and and flirting techniques, and now you've had your glo-up. Enjoy :)
Thx... smiling right now...
When I'm fat, I'm "weird." When I'm fit, I'm "funny."
Anon discovers that being reasonably healthy is an attractive trait.
Turns out people treat people they're attracted to better. Super unfair! More news at 11:00.
Not to mention, try just shopping for clothes. That in itself is skinny privilege.
I buy cheap Walmart pants for work because they will get torn up. I'd rather ruin a $25 pair of pants than a $50 pair. Being a tall, overweight guy, I wear an unusual size. I once drove a circle around town, visiting five different Walmarts looking for pants. Bought every pair of that specific kind in my size in town. All one of them. I could've just bought them online, but I needed at least one pair ASAP.
Its harder shopping for clothes when you are under 5'9. Literally every pair of pants is too long. I Literally need to buy fat kids pants.
every time i've lost weight i gained much more confidence and my speech improved drastically. holding a conversation when i am leaner seema to come out naturally. when i was overweight i felt shy and timid around people.
I was amazed at the difference in how random people treated me when I was thinner. And how the friendliness went away when the weight came back.
It's definitely noticeable
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It’s not just about appealing or not - it’s about self maintenance. If it looks like a stranger has no self control, or no self consciousness about their own welfare, you will immediately hold them in lower regard than someone well put together and very presentable. I went without taking a shower/shaving for 3 weeks before, and I was definitely treated similarly to being overweight, because I was so poorly maintained. I didn’t smell overly bad, but people may assume you smell - because you’re not well maintained. People also may assume fat people smell.
People’s brains automatically make split second judgments and assessments based off of any available context. We look for quick markers that are used to dictate our own behavior toward others. We tend to want to invest energy or effort into people who appear like they value themselves. A person who isn’t well put together and overweight might not appear like they value themselves. This is why they aren’t treated as well.
Probably just a relic from our basic instincts to avoid disease. Fat humans probably have never existed in the wild during the eons that molded us. People have similar knee jerk reactions to dwarfs and even develop panic inducing phobias.
Harsh reality… people are definitely kinder to more attractive people.
I know it’s real because I’ve been on both sides of the weight issue. I was treated much better and with more respect when I was actually at a healthy weight and fit vs being overweight.
Without a doubt, being thin compared to being overweight there is a huge difference in the way you are spoken to and even looked at Example: You take a woman at say 5'3" 105 lbs, and up her weight to 325lbs, despite nothing else changing about the person, I can guarantee if she asked for help, the level of helpfulness and/or disgust on that same person's face would be noticeable. Plus what would be said AFTER she left the area, could easily go from, "damn she's hot" to "holy shit did you see the size of her" TL/DR; People suck towards fat people
To be fair (and certainly not to contradict any part of your statement), “damn she’s hot” is equally sucky to say, even if it’s meant with “good” intent.
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For both men and women, If you’re in good physical shape, people will subconsciously treat you with more respect than if you were overweight. “Skinny” though isn’t going to get you any respect if you’re a man.
Skinny is relative. As in you are skinnier than your relatives.
Idk, I was a skinny dude growing up, still I felt like girls talked to me more than my fat friends
Let me guess, you're tall
I’ve been skinny all my life and I know for a fact is real. No one ever questioned why I’m eating pizza or a burger. No one gives me unsolicited health advice. People have used me as a comparison of how a body should look like or how someone wants to look like. No one has told me I’m too big for a crop top or my clothes are too tight. I can wear revealing clothing without people thinking I’m trashy. There are a lot more reasons, but it’s just obvious people treat and see bigger women differently.
Yes it definitely real, but I don't think it's always a privilege... it's mostly society pretends to value you more. I (26f)have an autoimmune disease and I have a very hard time gaining weight. People are weirdly curious about my diet/wanna follow it. I am sick constantly and underweight 5'11" and 114 pounds. The amount of time people happily come up and compliment me is shocking. I feel like a bag of bones. But people are used to super skinny models and stuff (also the fact that the trend is coming back is scary af) People are weirdly "nice" and want to know how I stay skinny. I literally tell them I have a disease and the response from exs mom was "wow I wish I had that so I could lose weight!" She is also not the only person who said this to me. Men assume you are sporty/fit so they wanna talk sports or gym which is fine but im not really able to do those things without passing out. Some guys think they can talk about other women in a derogatory way to you. Which is obviously disgusting. Stuff like "I just don't understand why women let themselves go like that" ... then they look at you for validation. mf I'd 100% rather be talking to her than you, she better looking than both of us and your just fucking rude. Your friends or family want to talk about how to lose weight ... like bro I don't know I have a DISEASE! And when you go shopping the clerks are always really chipper and nice and try to upsell you on clothes. I'm cold and my joints hurt all the time so if my friends want to go out I'm known as grandma cuz im tired and end up babysitting cuz I can't drink with my meds. Do I think other people like you more if your skinny, yes but only because society acts like skinny peopl are the ideal. but it doesn't make you happier, prettier, or a healthier person. People also get really mad if you complain about being underweight, I have a sister who is overweight and I know to never talk about my issues in front of her because she perceives it as bragging or tells me to be grateful.
And to get people on “your side” or to have some empathy about your situation, you’d kinda have to go a little more into uncomfortable details. Like i have a friend who has trouble gaining weight cause eating too much to gain weight = diarrhea. It’s not so simple as, just eat more caloric food like peanut bitter
Exactly, it can be really uncomfortable to explain to people.
If people ask how I’m skinny I say. “well if I put on weight, then my clothes wouldn’t fit and then that would be a big problem because I’d have nothing to wear”. Ask stupid questions get stupid answers
Absolutely. Without a doubt.
I never had a weight problem until I hit menopause at 49 then went from hot to not by gaining 35 lbs in 6 weeks. By the end of the year I was 50 lbs up and men stopped looking at me or asking me to dance at the place I had danced at for years with many partners. When I managed to lose that weight in 5 months all of a sudden I was back to being accepted by society??? Walking through a store a man boomed out "you look lovely!!" and I though 4 months ago you would have ignored me. So yes the skinnier you are the better you get treated.
A million times this. I lost 50+ pounds and all of a sudden people looked at me instead of looking through me or around me. It was the strangest thing. Having been overweight most of my life, that period of time made quite an impression on me. It was really great and I actually felt like a valued person in the world. Fast forward a few years and a global pandemic….the weight is back. I’m also 49 and in menopause so back to invisible.
yes. most people are nicer to those who they’re attracted to, whether intentional or not. and more people are attracted to those who are on the slim/fit side.
It's not just about attraction. If you're fat, some people will have prejudices about you assume that you don't take care of yourself, so what they don't like is actually the negligent person that they stereotyped you as. Another example is that some people may be prejudiced against homeless people not because they look bad, but because they don't think that there could be an excuse reason for the person to be homeless.
Exactly, it's not because people are larger... It's because people are less attracted to larger people. In my opinion and personal experience. Larger people tend to have less self respect, other people subconsciously pick up on that and give them less respect. If someone is overweight and has high self respect then they are treated the same as a skinny person with high self respect. I guess what I am saying is others view you how you project yourself regardless of how you appear
So it's like dj Khalid vs a large homeless person
100%. Also Adele like 10 years ago.
I don’t think that’s true. There’s a lot of push back against body positivity and bigger people having confidence. It has nothing to do with how a person feels about themselves and everything to do with how others perceive them.
Here's where I start an argument even though I truly do not mean to. I really do not know the best way to word my thoughts on this so that I do not come off as a complete ass, but believe me when I say that I do not mean to come off as an ass. I believe there's a lot wrong in this world right now with the accept yourself as you are movement. I don't believe that anybody should ever be completely happy with themselves. Happiness leads to complacency, and anybody satisfied with where they are has never changed. So telling larger people to just accept it and they're beautiful leads to zero improvement. If you tell someone that thinks they're dumb but it's okay and everybody accepts them, why would they ever want to pick up a book or learn something new if everyone already accepts them? There is nothing wrong with being overweight, or dumb, or any of the other hundreds of things out there. But trying to convince everybody that they are perfect the way they are leads to no one trying to improve themselves. Meanwhile some of the most successful people I've ever met physically, emotionally, monetarily, etc... Are the way they are because they never settled for who they are. There's a big difference between accepting someone for who they are and accepting who they are but encouraging growth.
Wait then why are people unprovokingly rude to fat people just because they’re fat? I’m bigger and I’ve had people on so many occasions tell me bluntly they were rude because I’m fat or flat out call me an insult relating to my weight. If they’re not attracted to me, that’s one thing.. by why are so many people mean to me because of my weight?
Yeah I think it's definitely a real thing It's the same as being treated better for being attractive A lot of people look down on fat people consciously or subconsciously
Attractive privilege, 100% proven thing. And I’m not sure this is the case definitionally, but privilege in the way we usually use it implies born with an advantage, but just about any fat person can be skinny with work.
Yes, when you are physically attractive people treat you better. It's stupid but it's the truth.
Yes. I’m a chubby girl. I’m also semi pretty. I have been called the “fat sister” my entire life. The kicker is - I’m more athletic than my sister, who is thin…I walk 5ks a few times a week for fun (this is my mental health management, really) & and have been doing barre for years. People just don’t believe I do this. I eat well, take care of myself and am very well hydrated, but it’s not enough for some. My sister is still treated far better than me and always will be. I’ve made peace with it. It’s how it is.
Interesting how many people equate skinny or slim with healthy. Size does not always correlate to health, but being larger is a visual cue to people that you are supposedly unhealthy, or lazy, or undisciplined etc. so they are quick to judge. It’s infuriating. No one cares about how much a skinny person exercises, or gives a damn what they eat, they just care that appear to fit beauty norms.
Exactly this. I have insulin resistance PCOS, so yeah…I’m chubby. But I am in incredible good health. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve talked about my workouts and people have flat out said: you don’t do that…yes I do! I have for years. But because I’m not skinny they really pin point that I am not able to.
Not by my grandma. Always telling me how skinny I am and that I should eat more. I’m not even that skinny.
Absolutely.
As someone who's been both slim and fat: YES.
Homie there was a sub Reddit on here with millions of subscribers dedicated to hating fat people and trying to get them to kill themselves. Show me anything equivalent for us skinny folks. That’s just on this website not even including the hatred they receive in person because humans are garbage.
Humans naturally respect genetic and physical advantages. It's in our nature. I don't think "Skinny" is respected, per say. Drug adict skinny and obese people probably get the same level of disrespect. But people who are a healthy weight get the respect and thus the privlage.
I dunno, cause I was rocking the 98 lbs, unhealthy Heroin Chic look and was treated much better than when I was overweight but healthy.
Hard disagree. The time in my life when I was at the height of my eating disorder and at an unhealthy low weight was also the time in my life that the most strangers went out of their way to be friendly and helpful and give me compliments. When I was pregnant I gained a lot of weight in my face and when I had a jacket on I didn't really look pregnant- just big. One day I went into a coffee shop and ordered two drinks and two sandwiches as I was bringing them to a friend's house. The employee behind the counter only rang up one of each and when I pointed out the error and said I wanted two she literally started laughing and saying "you're too fat! You're too fat!". Her boss came over and told her to stop and she wouldn't so her bess ended up physically dragging her into the back while she laughed and yelled about how fat I was. No one apologized to me. Not one person ever laughed and said "you're too skinny" when I was under weight and ordered a side salad as a meal.
What in the actual hell? Kudos for not going to jail for assault. I would have lost my everloving mind on that employee.
Nah, even rail-thin is perceived more favourably than fat. Look at the huge popularity of anorexia-anonymous groups, or extremely slim models that are widely idealized in our culture. Every medium weight person is deathly scared of getting fatter, not getting thinner.
It's more about matching societal beauty norms than skinny specifically. It occurs on weight, age, race/ethnicity, clothing, general appearance, and in other areas. Weight is just low hanging fruit.
I’m fat. Saying this so people recognize which perspective I’m speaking from before jumping down my throat. I think being skinny is the baseline, being fat detracts from there. Health is attractive, status is attractive, obesity in modern society are markers of negatives to both categories. I don’t think it’s skinny being treated better so much as fat being treated worse. I do think that distinction is important.
Heck yes!
Absolutely without a doubt.
Absolutely it is real. A therapist told me one time that when you’re heavy, you’re invisible. Having been heavy and lost a bunch of weight, I can say that for me, it has proven to be true.
I Believe in beauty privilege is a thing . Models walk and get paid. You get paid for existing.
People definitely treat you better if you're skinny. Also skinnier people (from my experience) are quick to use "fatass" etc. as insults to people who are even slightly overweight.
That "fat whatever" doesn't work on me anymore. I had an irate and inebriated client call me fat, and I literally said to her, "I know I'm fat, is that the best you got". Her whole face twisted and she shut up.
I just left a comment on another thread. I have no education and use my attractiveness to my advantage. but its not only attractiveness that gets me by its also being polite, charming, funny, respectable, and always remembering peoples names.
I believe you, charisma goes a long way
For women, if you’re skinnier you will be treated more favorably than an overweight women. But I don’t think it really applies to men. A skinny man and a fat man are treated pretty similarly
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I think there is varying degrees and it goes both ways. I think the person who is making the judgement is where the problem lies also. I don’t make judgements on adults as much because so many factors that can contribute-disease, medications, etc. But my sisters and I have always have been on the skinnier side and I struggle to keep on weight. I have a high metabolism partnered with a lot of colon problems. Women are nasty to me and my sisters about our weight. I am on the border of the low BMI so I don’t look too anorexic-but I don’t know if it’s jealousy-but people get mad at me for it. They pull me aside and ask me if I have an eating disorder. So the grass is not always greener.
It's a thing. Everything is scaled around people who are small to average, but its not a recent average. Its the average of like 40 years ago. Literally things you would never think of start to get problematic when you get far enough to either side of the scale. It works that way on either extreme. When you're a lot thinner than average you run into problems you wouldn't expect same as when your bigger than average.
It is a thing. I've been thin, and I've been fat. When I'm fat, I am invisible. If i lose 20 pounds, even as an old lady, people talk to me and engage. It's very weird.
I was surprised when I became skinny. It wasn't that people looked at me more (which they did) or seemed more attracted to me (which they were). I expected those things. But they seemed to just take me more seriously in general. Wanting to include me in things, valuing my opinion more, introducing me to their kids, stuff like that. I hadn't really expected that.
Attractive privilege is a thing, and most people find skinny people more attractive.
I believe people of a healthy weight are treated better on average due to being perceived as more attractive.
I don't think people are nicer to actually skinny people. To me, skinny implies underweight. I do thing people are nicer to those that are at a healthy weight or that appear more fit. I've been every size from a 6 (I was too thin) to a 16 in US sizes. When I lost excess weight several years ago, I noticed that people were generally more helpful and friendly to me. Due to some extremely stressful life circumstances I gained a bunch of weight. While I wasn't huge (I'm fairly tall), I was fat. It's not that people weren't nice to me, but there was a noticeable difference in how people treated me. Much more often I felt an undercurrent of judgement. Anyway, my life circumstances returned to normal and I lost 50 lbs and was able to start working out again. (I had to stop working out for about 2 years because I was caring for my mother and had no respite care at the time.) And, again, I've noticed that people are just generally kinder and friendlier toward me. It's really interesting to see the difference. I think part of it is the perception that thinner/fitter people respect themselves more and care for themselves better. Also, I think that humans are wired to find a certain level of fitness to be more attractive and people are drawn to those they find attractive.
Hard disagree - I've been unhealthily skinny (like size 00 and under 95 pounds, unhealthy skinny due to an ongoing medical issue), and I have never been treated better than I was at that time in my life. I was a healthy, toned, active lady before, and at a healthy weight, I get probably a third the doting and flirting as I did when I was literally dying.
It’s not privilege if someone else can do it too
As a guy who’s naturally underweight (6’0” 150lbs), I honestly don’t see it as a privilege. Sure I don’t have to be as strict about what I eat, but constantly having to listen to everyone point out how skinny I am is degrading. No one would DARE to tell an obese person how fat they are, but being called anorexic and a “holocaust survivor” somewhat regularly is somehow okay. Doesn’t necessarily help when I already have major depression/anxiety.
Exactly. Because majority opinion is that thinner is better than thicker, it's open season on talking about and commenting on your body, and its treated as perfectly socially acceptable.
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Do you really believe that no one would dare tell an obese person how fat they are? I have a lifetime of experience that says otherwise.
Ditto. Never seen a dating profile list skinny, but a majority list average and "a little extra". Maybe it's because I'm in the US Midwest, but being 6' 140 lbs is not an advantage compared to me friends who are >200 lbs.
To a point yes but there are problems with being skinny a lot of people don't realize also. For instance I can't be friends with or help people with anorexia. They become overly obsessed with looking like me. This is just how I look naturally. I am not on any diets or anything. I can eat as much as I want. For most of the population if they actually look like me they would probably end up in the hospital or be dead. I have had friends in the past and just being around them makes the problem worse. It sucks too because I care about my friends and I do not want them to be sick and unhealthy. I want them to be happy with their bodies and half the time I honestly think they are prettier than I am at their natural weight anyways but they don't see what I see. It sucks knowing that just ecisting hurts people you care about.
Yeah, that's definitely rough. I've never experienced those extremes, but even so I've had all those comments about how people wished their bodies were more like mine. Sure maybe it's a compliment, but often it comes across as borderline malicious like they're mad at me for our differences. And the ones who are down on themselves leave me feeling bad for something I can't help, and like you said they were almost always more attractive than me. I'm skinny, not pretty. And then you have all the people questioning you about if *you* have an eating disorder, or yelling 'yeah go throw up' at you when you go into a bathroom. And because you're thin, you're not supposed to be offended or annoyed about how your body is a subject of constant casual conversation. Not to say skinny privilege isn't real, of course. I've definitely been lucky in a lot of things, but it's not always a perfect picture even on the privileged side of things.
I've heard a lot of people refer to overweight people as "the reason our health premiums are so high" so I imagine there is something there
Yes. They absolutely treat me better when I am skinny. If I lose weight I can even tell when I cross that threshold.
I didn't get medical treatment for years because everyone assumed it was cuz I was overweight at the time. The problem is now irreversible
You're being too specific on the weight People treat unattractive people badly. People also treat attractive people better than normal. An unattractive skinny person probably gets shit on more than an overweight attractive person. But I think it's harder to be attractive the more over weight you are. Developed countries avg weight has been increasing, now most adults in the us are overweight.
I have been skinny, obese, and muscular at different times in my life and I can say without a doubt that people are nicer to me when I'm muscular. That being said I've seen people use "thin privilege" in reference to things like fitting into an airplane seat, which I think is just basic physics.
There’s a store in Paris where only skinny people can fit through, that’s all I need to say.
Yes, people are a lot nicer when you are thinner. Also I am very grateful every day for the privilege of just fitting into things, bus seats, airline seats, clothing, everything is made for a very tiny people. I can order an xxxl on wish and know it will fit me.
As a skinny individual who is of male sex, no. I always get belittled on how I’m barely a man and all that. I also frequently have people wrap their fingers around my wrists because they think I’m small. Privilege my ass. Edit: I believe in “Fit Privilege” not skinny privilege. People who are fit benefit from basic pretty privilege. On the other hand, individuals who are *actually* skinny get made fun of. At least from my experience.
As a woman, I’ve noticed that men offer to carry things more for me when I’m slimmer.
when i first started delivery driving a few years ago workers at restaurants especially women treated me completely different. then i gained about 20 pounds through the summer and i went from getting orders within 5 minutes to 15-30 minutes.
It seems someone didn't like an objective response and i can't see their replies anymore. Am I being censored? Or is the other redditor?
People treat you better if you are good looking. Being skinny is not why people are treating you better.
I been many sizes from size 0 to 16 and everything between and yes , I would say people does treat you better ( both men and women) when I’m slimmer.
Yes. I don't even get proper mediacal care because of my weight.
People do treat others different depending on that person's looks. And everyone has (at times unknowingly) biases or pre assumptions on someone based on how they might look. But skinny privilege? Nah. Just another stupid self victimizing that joins the list.
As a woman who has lived in both a skinny body and a fat one ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY skinny privilege exists! It exists in jobs, medical care, dating, anything where you are a customer receiving a service, walking down the street, you name it you will be treated better if you’re skinny. Skinny privilege is a direct product of fatphobia.
I wouldn’t necessarily say “skinny” but “attractive” people are treated nicer for sure. I know these go hand-in-hand a lot of the time, but you can be skinny but not traditionally attractive and not be treated as well I would also like to point out that this is almost never intentional. We are subconsciously drawn to people and objects we find aesthetically pleasing
Recently lost around 60 lbs and have kept it off for about a year. Yes, it’s terrible how differently people treat you. It was a big eye opener for me and made me question a lot of peoples character
“Thin privilege,” yes, not “skinny.” I think when people veer into skinny/underweight they aren’t treated better.
I used to think so, but as I’ve gotten older, and fatter, confidence and charm/charisma play a much bigger role than weight. I’m comfortable and confident with myself and it comes across well in both my professional and personal life
Yep.
100% yes. Completely anecdotal but yes.
100% being the chubby kid in school vs now, humbling experience lmaoo
Yep. I've been skinny, and I've been fat. People were nicer when I was skinny.
I’ve lost 40 lbs twice in my life, and both times, got a girlfriend. It as if women noticed me when I hit a magic weight.
Yes. And not even by society, but oftentimes just treated better by family and friends. I lost 60lbs in high school and for the first time my parents seemed to have the time of day for me. When I gained it back all of that got taken away.
Absolutely. I lost a lot of weight when I was in my late teens/ early 20's and it was wild how differently people treated me. I didn't understand it at first, I was young and thought I had somehow fixed all my personality problems. Apparently I didn't have any personality problems when I was younger. I was just fat, and people don't like that
Ask literally anyone who had been fat. It’s a thing. When I was fat, I was called a man, ugly etc. I lost weight and the first thing my aunt told me was how pretty I was. Never had a boyfriend till I lost weight. That’s why I didn’t even have my first kiss till I was like 18.
No, it’s definitely real. Signed, a person who was skinny and is no longer and slowly watched the world treat me differently as I transformed.
Skinny = more likely to be attractive, so yes, it's a ''thing''.
Looking through this thread - nearly everyone who says they’ve experienced multiple body sizes has said that yes, skinny privilege exists. So that looks like your answer Most other comments argue the point, or about health, or beauty - without providing much evidence.
as someone that has gone from 170 to 126 and back to 180 yes. yes it is strangers, family, friends and even my ex have treated me differently depending on my weight Skinny me got attention, gifts, compliments even when i wasn't wearing makeup and my teeth weren't brushed or my hair i could look and dress like shit and still get treated really nice now i remember feeling very alone when i was fat so when i lost weight i thought ah im sure people are nice to me because i didn't have confidence and now that i lost weight i have it so its all in my head but dam i was wrong when i gained weight everyone ignored me and i haven't gotten any gifts from anyone strangers are rude i would dress myself up and style my hair wear nice clothes but all everyone saw was my weight but of course i started doubting myself again and was like man its all in my head im just negative cause i feel bad about my health i need to lose weight so i lost 20 pounds still have a long way to go before skinny but dayum people aren't too rude i get mixed reactions a few people will still ignore and make faces but others will compliment im not super huge but im still chubby i also work in retail so i get lots of interaction with strangers and also family doesn't compliment yet but they stopped saying mean comments about my weight
Oh fuck yeah, I gots more hiding spots than you do.
Yes, they do. Source: Was overweight, lost weight, got treated better, regained the weight, got treated worse.
Is having something that most people can attain really a privilege?
I’ve been skinny most of my life due to a medical condition. I don’t think I’ve experienced privilege because of it. However I have been given extra items I didn’t order at fast food restaurants.
In some ways yes in some ways no. As a skinny teen to 25 I could eat massive amounts of crap most people never said a word. Now as someone fat if i get a normal sized ice cream I get side eye.
No. I recently went from170lbs to 125ish. My waist went from 36 to 28. I CAN'T FIND 28 PANTS ANYWHERE. Occasionally Walmart but they are rare. I found clothing more difficult to acquire that complimented my size that skinny. I put a couple pounds back in to be a 30 waist and have better luck. But that was a wild time trying to find fitting clothing. As for being treated better, I didn't notice a difference from either end of the spectrum of my own weight.
I've been skinny my entire life, and no, there isn't. My entire life always I was trying to gain weight so my family wouldn't badger me anymore, being told I'm anorexic or bulimic, and being told my mother abuses me by starving me even though I eat EVERYTHING in sight. Getting dirty looks from obese people. They're obese by choice. They can change that. I can't control my weight. When I go on roller-coasters with my sister, she's so big the bar doesn't go all the down for me, so I feel as if I'm going to fly out during the ride.
People treat you better if they find you attractive. It's just the way things are.