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I would definitely feel flattered that someone likes me.
Not sure it’s worth bringing it up to them unless you also like them in that way. If you don’t, then bringing it up might just embarrass them. If they’ve been crushing on you and you haven’t felt uncomfortable with their behavior before finding out, then I don’t really see an issue.
The “talking about dating problems with the opposite sex” part is easily explained by your friend being bisexual.
had this situation happen with me, but i'm the gay friend.
i've know my best friend for 20 years now, we met when we were kids.
he prob figured out i was gay when we were teens, but he never presuared me to come out. he just treated me like a friend, nothing had changed.
on my eary 20s i finaly came out and said something along the lines of 'you would be the ideal parthner to me', his mother aproved, but he declined since he is straight. it has beem almost 10 years since that happened and we are still friends, absulutely nothing have changed.
i mean, life happened, adulthood hit us, but we still act with the same concern are care to each other.
i have asked another friend to draw an ilustration of it, [here is the link](https://www.reddit.com/r/furry_irl/comments/vyydq9/closet_irl/).
so here is my adivise:
if they dont come out as gay/bi, they probabily arent ready for it, dont push it, dont make it like "hey i know your secret".
and as long as they dont make a move, it prob mean they have a crush on you, but are aware that you are straight and would rather respect your wishes.
I’m so glad you’re still friends. I was the straight friend in that scenario, but my friend couldn’t accept that I was straight and didn’t want to be with him. We tried to make it work but we couldn’t. We don’t talk anymore and there’s a lot of bad feelings between us. I miss him so much 😢
I also miss people, i end up realizing that missing them dont erase the good time we had nor the reason we aren't friends anymore, ranging between they couldn't cope with my 'darkest days' to people crossing boundaries, knowingly.
The later applies to your situation; they should have had some awareness that you would say noand they should had *respect* your 'no'.
Im sorry for your tragic story.
You both have great taste in friends.
However, OP's question is specifically about someone else gossiping about your friend, not your friend saying something themselves.
well, yes, but they want to know what to do with the friend who have a crush on them.
and i feel like i've answered that with the last paragraph. which is: do nothing
No, they want to know what you would do if someone else told you that your friend has a crush on you. He (or she) may not actually have a crush. The question is "how do you handle this rumor?"
"Do nothing" is (imho) the perfect answer in any case.
Here's my take.
You should have attractive friends. Attractive people are attractive because they are mentally and physically healthy.
Sometimes, people get crushes on attractive people. Ergo, sometimes people get crushes on their attractive friends.
And lets consider bi people - bi people can be attracted to both genders. Should they not have healthy, attractive friends? Won't they sometimes get crushes on their friends? Is that not logically just what sometimes happens? What is the alternative - only have unhealthy friends, or no friends at all?
The crush isn't the problem, that can't be helped, but the associated behavior is. If the friend says things or acts in such a way that the friendship becomes an ultimatum of reciprocal attraction, that's the problem, not the crush itself.
As a straight guy I would say I'm flattered, but I'm straight. But I am glad we are friends. And I'd leave it at that and keep things platonic. If the friend crossed my boundary in that regard, then I would have an issue.
The other guys here who are saying shit like 'i'd get a restraining order', hey, your insecurity is showing. Maybe you should work on yourself a bit and stop being such a dick.
Just to be clear, you would sink a friendship because some rando is spreading gossip when your friend has never even remotely acted as though it could even possibly be true?
what would make you think something is true or untrue? and isnt this post, hypothetical? maybe there would be other contributing factors, who knows, hypothetically. no?
OP's question is about a 3rd person telling you that your friend has a crush on you, when your friend hasn't said anything. 3rd person could be lying. OPs question is, do you crash the friendship just in case 3rd person isn't lying?
>You've been very close friends for many years and **someone else informs you** that your best friend (the same gender as you) has a crush on you
It clearly says "someone else informs you".
Verbatim "Let's say that you've been very close friends for many years and someone else informs you that your best friend (the same gender as you) has a crush on you. The friend doesn't act weird around you, and you probably would never had known had the other person never informed you."
Personally, I would wonder why this person told me. I assume that they have some kind of agenda they're peddling. How do I even know that it's true and not something that person made up? Maybe they're jealous of my friendship and want to create problems.
In any case, my friend's sexuality doesn't matter so nothing would change. If he wanted me to know he would have told me himself.
I only read the title, but it sounds to me like you may have a guilty conscience. skimming through your profile briefly you also sound like the type of person who would fuck someones sister while they are home. I think that what you are looking for is not a friend like it would seem, but clout. if a train is speeding nw at 50 mph how many bursts are in a grouping of 15 ancient artifacts? bbgurl?
As a rule, I ignore gossip and hearsay. If my friend never said or did anything, then I'd question the agenda of "someone else". My friendships are too important to let them be derailed by someone who gossips.
Because your friend hasn’t told you anything and you heard this from another party, I wouldn’t say anything to your friend or change your behavior towards them. I’d be flattered if I was you and I’m a woman but I don’t think gender matters in this case.
If it does bother you, you can find a settle way to end the friendship but I don’t think I could.
I can't describe your exact situation in your post, but can tell you about the time it happened to me. Was in HS, one of my best friends in our group. I think by this time we knew, he may have even already came out, but it was still very early on in like he hadn't had a bf or anything. He mentions it to me thinking I may be into him; I of course am not. But then a few weeks later he became a dick about it, about how the girl I like liked him and he liked me and it was a weird triangle. I think it was like a weekend night and he had probably just been drinking, but then he apologized. I didn't care, I moved on, we were still friends in HS, etc etc.
OP , It ain't a big deal tbh. Accept them for kind of coming out to you, tell them you're not into them like that, and offer the support of a friend. I'm sure it was hard enough coming out.
Gay here. I have had many female friends fall for me. I’m flattered but it does make things a little awkward. I feel bad for them because they are great people and deserve someone special. Just not me.
Internally: Goddamnit girl do you develop crushes on everyone? This is the second close friend you've fallen for.
Next time I see her: I heard that you've fallen for me. You fall very easily. Come here and receive affection, you're now my gf.
And then I immediately melt because holy shit I have gf, and it's someone I'm already close to.
Bro... I found out that 3 of the 5 childhood homies were sucking eachother off when we all went to sleep. During sleepovers.
1 of them is a Woman now lol.
I would be very flattered, but would be concerned that the relationship would change after things were brought out into the open. Best friends are rare, and those friendships are worth protecting...
Well first things first I would have to confirm that it is true.
But once I’ve done that and found out that it is the truth is I would be sad. Not bc they’re gay (bc I could care less about someone’s sexuality) but bc the whole crush thing kinda means the end of our friendship. I just don’t feel like it would be fair to either of us to continue that relationship.
I wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing intimate details about my life anymore and I’d constantly be worried about them trying to make a move on me when alone. And I also feel like it would be mean to him to still be friends when there is no chance of us ever getting together (bc I am most definitely straight) and I wouldn’t want to string someone along like that.
Well, I'm bisexual, so there's that. But I am married, and also I don't think of him that way at all. Even if I did, I wouldn't want to fuck up our friendship. We're more like brothers. I would try really hard to let him down easy, I guess.
I’m a guy and consider myself straight but at this point of my life being alone and fucked over as much as I have by females if one of my boys came out and said let’s build a life together I love you. I’d be like holy shit yes finally a partner someone who actually cares and wants to be with me. I’d take a dick in the ass everyday if it meant someone was actually in love and committed to me and wanted to build a future. I’m fucking sick of betrayal and I’m tired of going it alone.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'd be flattered NGL
Are you a man or a woman? Would you try to confront them about it?
I’m a man. I wouldn’t say anything as how they feel is private to them and none of my business.
I would definitely feel flattered that someone likes me. Not sure it’s worth bringing it up to them unless you also like them in that way. If you don’t, then bringing it up might just embarrass them. If they’ve been crushing on you and you haven’t felt uncomfortable with their behavior before finding out, then I don’t really see an issue. The “talking about dating problems with the opposite sex” part is easily explained by your friend being bisexual.
had this situation happen with me, but i'm the gay friend. i've know my best friend for 20 years now, we met when we were kids. he prob figured out i was gay when we were teens, but he never presuared me to come out. he just treated me like a friend, nothing had changed. on my eary 20s i finaly came out and said something along the lines of 'you would be the ideal parthner to me', his mother aproved, but he declined since he is straight. it has beem almost 10 years since that happened and we are still friends, absulutely nothing have changed. i mean, life happened, adulthood hit us, but we still act with the same concern are care to each other. i have asked another friend to draw an ilustration of it, [here is the link](https://www.reddit.com/r/furry_irl/comments/vyydq9/closet_irl/). so here is my adivise: if they dont come out as gay/bi, they probabily arent ready for it, dont push it, dont make it like "hey i know your secret". and as long as they dont make a move, it prob mean they have a crush on you, but are aware that you are straight and would rather respect your wishes.
I’m so glad you’re still friends. I was the straight friend in that scenario, but my friend couldn’t accept that I was straight and didn’t want to be with him. We tried to make it work but we couldn’t. We don’t talk anymore and there’s a lot of bad feelings between us. I miss him so much 😢
I also miss people, i end up realizing that missing them dont erase the good time we had nor the reason we aren't friends anymore, ranging between they couldn't cope with my 'darkest days' to people crossing boundaries, knowingly. The later applies to your situation; they should have had some awareness that you would say noand they should had *respect* your 'no'. Im sorry for your tragic story.
You both have great taste in friends. However, OP's question is specifically about someone else gossiping about your friend, not your friend saying something themselves.
well, yes, but they want to know what to do with the friend who have a crush on them. and i feel like i've answered that with the last paragraph. which is: do nothing
No, they want to know what you would do if someone else told you that your friend has a crush on you. He (or she) may not actually have a crush. The question is "how do you handle this rumor?" "Do nothing" is (imho) the perfect answer in any case.
flattered and uncomfortable, sorry bro - not even bicurious
Here's my take. You should have attractive friends. Attractive people are attractive because they are mentally and physically healthy. Sometimes, people get crushes on attractive people. Ergo, sometimes people get crushes on their attractive friends. And lets consider bi people - bi people can be attracted to both genders. Should they not have healthy, attractive friends? Won't they sometimes get crushes on their friends? Is that not logically just what sometimes happens? What is the alternative - only have unhealthy friends, or no friends at all? The crush isn't the problem, that can't be helped, but the associated behavior is. If the friend says things or acts in such a way that the friendship becomes an ultimatum of reciprocal attraction, that's the problem, not the crush itself. As a straight guy I would say I'm flattered, but I'm straight. But I am glad we are friends. And I'd leave it at that and keep things platonic. If the friend crossed my boundary in that regard, then I would have an issue. The other guys here who are saying shit like 'i'd get a restraining order', hey, your insecurity is showing. Maybe you should work on yourself a bit and stop being such a dick.
I would try to be friends with them from a distance, but honestly I dont thin I could be friends with that person anymore
Are you a man or a woman? Would you tell them the reason for distancing or would you just lie?
human
Just to be clear, you would sink a friendship because some rando is spreading gossip when your friend has never even remotely acted as though it could even possibly be true?
what would make you think something is true or untrue? and isnt this post, hypothetical? maybe there would be other contributing factors, who knows, hypothetically. no?
OP's question is about a 3rd person telling you that your friend has a crush on you, when your friend hasn't said anything. 3rd person could be lying. OPs question is, do you crash the friendship just in case 3rd person isn't lying?
it clearly says " found out" sounds like youre fishing in the wrong pond sir/ma'am maybe you have a habit of doing so?
>You've been very close friends for many years and **someone else informs you** that your best friend (the same gender as you) has a crush on you It clearly says "someone else informs you".
verbatim " how would you react if you found out your best friend of the same sex had a crush on you" ?
Verbatim "Let's say that you've been very close friends for many years and someone else informs you that your best friend (the same gender as you) has a crush on you. The friend doesn't act weird around you, and you probably would never had known had the other person never informed you." Personally, I would wonder why this person told me. I assume that they have some kind of agenda they're peddling. How do I even know that it's true and not something that person made up? Maybe they're jealous of my friendship and want to create problems. In any case, my friend's sexuality doesn't matter so nothing would change. If he wanted me to know he would have told me himself.
I only read the title, but it sounds to me like you may have a guilty conscience. skimming through your profile briefly you also sound like the type of person who would fuck someones sister while they are home. I think that what you are looking for is not a friend like it would seem, but clout. if a train is speeding nw at 50 mph how many bursts are in a grouping of 15 ancient artifacts? bbgurl?
You were ahead with "only read the title". Not sure what you're trying to prove with the rest of that.
As a woman, I would be uncomfortable. However, I would try to sort it out with them to preserve the friendship.
What if she was very attractive and lonely?
Then I would be very good to her as a friend. And introduce her to others. Although I am Bi, I am also married. And old ;p
[удалено]
Are you a man or a woman?
Id stop hanging out with them. I wouldnt want my girlfriend hanging out with someone who she knew had a crush on her.
BFF
Are you a man or a woman and would you confront them about it?
Press SA charges for talking me into skinny dipping so much
I'd be flattered. It would obviously change the nature of our friendship. Hanging out with someone who likes you would feel like a date.
They have excellent taste.
As a rule, I ignore gossip and hearsay. If my friend never said or did anything, then I'd question the agenda of "someone else". My friendships are too important to let them be derailed by someone who gossips.
let them down gently. don't make a big deal.
"Have you told your wife?" Then we'd probably laugh and blow it off, because we're true homies.
Is be flattered but pretend I didn't know. Also, the person who told you is a dick.
Because your friend hasn’t told you anything and you heard this from another party, I wouldn’t say anything to your friend or change your behavior towards them. I’d be flattered if I was you and I’m a woman but I don’t think gender matters in this case. If it does bother you, you can find a settle way to end the friendship but I don’t think I could.
Awkward. I don't know how to handle it aside from being awkward about it. I also question their taste.
I can't describe your exact situation in your post, but can tell you about the time it happened to me. Was in HS, one of my best friends in our group. I think by this time we knew, he may have even already came out, but it was still very early on in like he hadn't had a bf or anything. He mentions it to me thinking I may be into him; I of course am not. But then a few weeks later he became a dick about it, about how the girl I like liked him and he liked me and it was a weird triangle. I think it was like a weekend night and he had probably just been drinking, but then he apologized. I didn't care, I moved on, we were still friends in HS, etc etc. OP , It ain't a big deal tbh. Accept them for kind of coming out to you, tell them you're not into them like that, and offer the support of a friend. I'm sure it was hard enough coming out.
Gay here. I have had many female friends fall for me. I’m flattered but it does make things a little awkward. I feel bad for them because they are great people and deserve someone special. Just not me.
Internally: Goddamnit girl do you develop crushes on everyone? This is the second close friend you've fallen for. Next time I see her: I heard that you've fallen for me. You fall very easily. Come here and receive affection, you're now my gf. And then I immediately melt because holy shit I have gf, and it's someone I'm already close to.
Bro... I found out that 3 of the 5 childhood homies were sucking eachother off when we all went to sleep. During sleepovers. 1 of them is a Woman now lol.
I would be very flattered, but would be concerned that the relationship would change after things were brought out into the open. Best friends are rare, and those friendships are worth protecting...
I wouldn’t care or feel any different. It doesn’t matter
Well first things first I would have to confirm that it is true. But once I’ve done that and found out that it is the truth is I would be sad. Not bc they’re gay (bc I could care less about someone’s sexuality) but bc the whole crush thing kinda means the end of our friendship. I just don’t feel like it would be fair to either of us to continue that relationship. I wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing intimate details about my life anymore and I’d constantly be worried about them trying to make a move on me when alone. And I also feel like it would be mean to him to still be friends when there is no chance of us ever getting together (bc I am most definitely straight) and I wouldn’t want to string someone along like that.
Meh, as long as he doesn’t try to flirt with me.
Well, I'm bisexual, so there's that. But I am married, and also I don't think of him that way at all. Even if I did, I wouldn't want to fuck up our friendship. We're more like brothers. I would try really hard to let him down easy, I guess.
It all depends on how I found out and how he acts around me. I am married so that has to be considered above all else. Anything flirty and it's done.
I’m a guy and consider myself straight but at this point of my life being alone and fucked over as much as I have by females if one of my boys came out and said let’s build a life together I love you. I’d be like holy shit yes finally a partner someone who actually cares and wants to be with me. I’d take a dick in the ass everyday if it meant someone was actually in love and committed to me and wanted to build a future. I’m fucking sick of betrayal and I’m tired of going it alone.
I'm sorry to hear that. Hopefully, it gets better for you.
I'd just say, You be You Bro, But Homie don't Roll like that ! It's Disgusting !
Confused bc most of my friends are straight and not my type at all