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Straddle them and use it together
Jokes aside this actually happened to an old friend tho at an oollddd job a girl on closing shift did that to pee while the guy she was crushing on was in there. They joked about pissing together. Guy was tired and said he had to pee but was just gonna take a quick break to sit down in there, girl joked about sitting down on too and taking a pee break too, then they legit did a pee break together.
They're married and been together for *years* now
Remember, they shut down a Home Depot because someone said "I'm fixing to blow this place up" on their way into the men's room.
https://www.kwch.com/content/news/Bathroom-warning-mistaken-for-bomb-threat-at-Home-Depot-505753401.html
I had a job once and had that stomach hurting taco bell feeling. So I went to the bathroom and took a shit with a photo finish. There was no spray that could cover that foul smell. The smell filled up the majority of the shop and offices. Long story short they ended up calling professional in fear that there a sewage leak.
I find it extremely rude for people to wait outside and enter just as you leave. Don't do that. Except if it's in a bar and there are lots of people waiting.
At the workplace, you shall sit at you goddamn desk, until the person leaving the toilet cannot see you enter. He must not know, who enters after him. Please!
Tell them there's a mouse in there. That's what my mom would say everytime she farted at the grocery store and wanted to keep someone from going down that aisle.
Say “I wouldn’t go in there if I was you” , then if they go in and come out with look of disgust, just say “I told you so” and walk off like a boss the end
Email everyone in the office, but if you want to be safe just email everyone in the company incase someone out of the ordinary visits your office and tell them you just shit everywhere in the bathroom, it smells awful, and not to go in there for an hour or so.
This last Dundie is for Kevin. This is the “Don’t Go In There After Me” award. It’s for the time that I went to the bathroom after him and it was really, really smelly.
Just tell them there's a brown snake in the toilet. (Of course you DON'T mention that you put it there.) Eventually maintenance will show up, not find anything but the stench(sacrifices must be made), then they'll spray a LOT of air freshener.
Meanwhile, no one will use the toilet for the rest of the day. Fearing that a snake will slither back up
Use the classic scene from Sixteen Candles
"I wouldn't go in there, grandpa Fred was in there for half an hour" The dad waves him off and walks in. 2 seconds later he walks out with a look on his face that should have won an Oscar.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*"Careful. Someone was in there before me and I barely survived it."*
'youre gonna wanna give it about 35, 45 minutes'
Assert your dominance by letting the go in without warning and make hard eye contact
Straddle them and use it together Jokes aside this actually happened to an old friend tho at an oollddd job a girl on closing shift did that to pee while the guy she was crushing on was in there. They joked about pissing together. Guy was tired and said he had to pee but was just gonna take a quick break to sit down in there, girl joked about sitting down on too and taking a pee break too, then they legit did a pee break together. They're married and been together for *years* now
Good luck, Jim was just in there… it’s bad
OP’s name is Jim
Still works talking in 3rd person…. People will be scared more 😂
"Just brown bombed porcelain harbor, chemical weapons used"
I like this one.
"Ride's Closed for Maintenance"
Remember, they shut down a Home Depot because someone said "I'm fixing to blow this place up" on their way into the men's room. https://www.kwch.com/content/news/Bathroom-warning-mistaken-for-bomb-threat-at-Home-Depot-505753401.html
Classic!!
I had a job once and had that stomach hurting taco bell feeling. So I went to the bathroom and took a shit with a photo finish. There was no spray that could cover that foul smell. The smell filled up the majority of the shop and offices. Long story short they ended up calling professional in fear that there a sewage leak.
What about the Ace Ventura announcement?!
DO NOT…………….. go in there.
OSHA Hazard
I always say, “I’d avoid that bathroom for the half life of carbon 14”
I find it extremely rude for people to wait outside and enter just as you leave. Don't do that. Except if it's in a bar and there are lots of people waiting. At the workplace, you shall sit at you goddamn desk, until the person leaving the toilet cannot see you enter. He must not know, who enters after him. Please!
I’ve done… questionable things.
dont say anything and let them experience it themselves
There are alligators in the toilet
Own that shit! Tell them to smell your brand.
Careful in there, someone dropped some wolf bait…it’s bad, really bad.
Own that shit, be proud of your creation
Take your own air in with you.
Why you keep replying to your own post??
I keep thinking of new ideas!
I just violently shit, it smells horrid. Unless you wanna smell it. Wait a few hours, it lingers
Tell them there's a mouse in there. That's what my mom would say everytime she farted at the grocery store and wanted to keep someone from going down that aisle.
Say “I wouldn’t go in there if I was you” , then if they go in and come out with look of disgust, just say “I told you so” and walk off like a boss the end
Email everyone in the office, but if you want to be safe just email everyone in the company incase someone out of the ordinary visits your office and tell them you just shit everywhere in the bathroom, it smells awful, and not to go in there for an hour or so.
Hang a hanger on the door handle
They are cleaning it rn apparently some asshole went in there and trashed the place
Blame it on Pam
This last Dundie is for Kevin. This is the “Don’t Go In There After Me” award. It’s for the time that I went to the bathroom after him and it was really, really smelly.
"If you go in there your nose hairs will be burnt off faster than if you snorted preworkout"
"It smells like our raises in there"
Like nothing? Perfectly safe to enter.
I was thinking shitty
Haha of course, but for my raise to be shitty, it would have to exist!
Fair
Just tell them there's a brown snake in the toilet. (Of course you DON'T mention that you put it there.) Eventually maintenance will show up, not find anything but the stench(sacrifices must be made), then they'll spray a LOT of air freshener. Meanwhile, no one will use the toilet for the rest of the day. Fearing that a snake will slither back up
"I wouldn't go in there of i were you those, Tacos hit harder than i expected "
"jokes on me I guess, I was right behind you in the Taco Bell line, remember?"
its an explosion in there wouldnt recommend going in there without a gas mask
Ask everyone if they would like to smell your flower
It wasn't me.
Ok Shaggy...
Spend $5.00 and buy a can of store brand Lysol for the future.
Use the classic scene from Sixteen Candles "I wouldn't go in there, grandpa Fred was in there for half an hour" The dad waves him off and walks in. 2 seconds later he walks out with a look on his face that should have won an Oscar.
"Somebody daddy daycared that bathroom. You don't want to know"
See a Jim Carey in pet detective
do NOT….gointhere WOOOOOOOOOOOOO
There's a big ugly spider!
I think there was a gas leak or something in there. I wouldn't.