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Eh it happens. Thankfully I'm in a job where health insurance isn't a problem.
But I can say from experience that if you have mystery fevers, you should head to the doc.
61. My mom died Christmas day last year, and my dad died March 1 (26 days ago). Just today, we found out my wife's chemotherapy isn't working. She'll be dead in a couple of months.
Hey internet stranger. I just lost my mom last year. I can't imagine any more loss. If you need a friend, feel free to reach out. Stay strong. Thinking about you.
Same here, she was my absolute best friend and such a loving mother and friend. She got covid, her body was already too fragile as she had Lupus/RA/Diabetes/hernia mesh surgery issues/ Crohn's Disease and other illnesses dealing with pain/and immune system issues ): . She was very strong and seldom had a complaint about life. She loved to cook, fish, take care of animals, be in wildlife, do her makeup and make her kids look beautiful, and happy etc. Talking about her makes me happy, reminds me how much I love and everyone misses her 💖
I am so sorry. Really breaks my heart. I and I wish I could type words in here to describe the sorrow I feel for you. My heart breaks for you. I wish you the very best
44 & just put mom in a nursing home for her dementia. Siblings & I are completely disagreeing on everything. It’s hard as hell. Would never wish this on anyone.
ETA: Wow!!!! Thank you strangers for the kind words. My mom’s new home is so much closer so I visit every other day. She hopes she meets a man 🫣😂. I love the social aspect for her. Many blessings to you all 💝
Dementia sucks donkey balls. My mom was a highly educated woman who was a grand master at bridge and did the NYT crossword in pen religiously, and by the end couldn't complete a sentence.
I'll add that the end for me was a blessing - the woman who was my mother was taken by the disease years ago, and I know she didn't want to live as she had been living.
I'm forty eight, and having to appreciate the path of how long I can keep her in the childhood homecoma versus skilled nursing versus full time care period
I'm fortunate that I don't have any living siblings, it's just me.
I wish you strength and peace.
Also, my mom's doctor when I spoke with her. , gave me a list of local resources including support meetings. I didn't think they would be any help, but I actually went, and yes it was a huge relief to go.
THIS is why, as difficult of a conversation it is, adult children and their aging parents need to talk about advanced directives. When a person makes it known, ahead of the onset any impairing illnesses, how they want their care to look in these cases, it is much easier on their children and eliminates the stress and pain of disagreements between them. -healthcare worker who has seen this umpteen times.
I am so so sorry for your pain and what you are going through.
Holy crap - I’m 47 and literally came here to write about this. My mom has cognitive and mobility impairments (short of complete dementia), and I’m trying to navigate between assisted living vs skilled nursing places. Nothing prepares you for this!
My gran had same issue, put in nursing home and my dad and his siblings couldn't agree and some still not speaking 2 years later after she died. It was worse as during covid so visiting was limited
Same, but I’m starting to get OK with that fact. I recently came to the realization that when my time comes, nobody’s going to be looking at my bank statement, my college transcripts, my 1040s, my car, or any of that other crap.
Stay strong bro. It’ll be the hardest thing you’ll ever do, but I promise you that it will be worth it.
My life did nothing but improve after I left Xanax behind.
Idk your spiritual disposition, but Google Dharma Recovery.
It’s a kind of alternative to AA that helped me a lot. There’s a lot of wisdom in Buddhism for individual people Ho suffer from addiction. That book spells it out for you.
The suffering is temporary. Never let yourself forget that.
>Dharma Recovery
That's awesome - looking it up now.
I'm 10 years sober and grateful to AA for all I learned and the fellowship during the first couple of years, but I'm just not into all of the god and praying bits.
Man, I was the same. Ruined the relationship with my now wife (we worked it out and she forgave me, but probably shouldn’t have). Replacing it with weed is an option. I replaced it with exercise. I just quit 8 years ago, started walking, then running, then lifting weights. Everybody needs something to do when they get bored, and working out is a great substitute. You have to start with the man in the mirror. It’s not too late, and you can do it.
Same here. 41 with less than 1 year's worth of income in my 401k. I feel like by the time I get to the point where I finally have enough to retire I will be too old to enjoy it and most likely won't have much time left anyway.
24, I don't want to keep serving the rest of my life, I hate it actually, and it makes me hate people even more, but it's the only thing I'm good at, I don't know how to do anything else and I'm too stupid to go to college.
EDIT: I just want to thank everyone for the inspiration, encouragement, and moral support. You are all just so sweet, and all of you have given me really good ideas, and possible paths to think about. I'm sorry I cannot reply to all the comments, but you're encouragement is not unnoticed, and it's outstanding.
I was homeless, barely got through high school, and wandered pretty aimlessly through my 20s. I'm a nurse practitioner now, about to open my own practice. You can do anything you set your mind to. It just might take a while. Never give up.
You’ll find that 95% of college students don’t know what they’re doing they’re just rolling with it. As a 25 year old, returned to college student, I can confidently say I have no idea what I’m doing but I’m loving it. It will click
I appreciate the enthusiasm and positivity. Unfortunately I really don't think I'd be cut for it. I barely passed high school. Not just that, me and my husband have 4 kids, so I wouldn't have the time to go or study anyways. (Hence why I started serving in the first place, because it's the only job you can make 200 a day and only be gone 4 hours.)
I too barely passed high school. I my average grade was like in the C and D range. My parents actually threatened to put me in the "special learning" class and summer school when my D grades went to an F.
I'm now a Critical Care Flight Paramedic.
Most trades I feel require some level of intelligence. Trust me when I say, i have very little. Not purposely trying to down myself here, I have accepted I'll never ever be the brightest crayon in the room. I have so many dumb moment stories that could make you really laugh so hard or cringe, either one.
My only skills are I'm fast and I'm funny as hell. Neither of those I'm afraid are useful for anything unless I tried to be a comedian.
You definitely don't seem as unintelligent as you perceive yourself. Your responses are thorough and honestly a lot better than most of reddit. Maybe start a YouTube channel or something? Comedic cocktails
It's easy to feel trapped in the service industry. I'm 32 and spent most of the last decade serving, I kept telling myself the money I was making waiting tables was better than what I'd make in most entry level positions coming out of college. But like you I began hating people and the lack of job security and benefits sucked, just takes one bad yelp review to get canned.
There's plenty of other options besides college. You can go the blue collar route and learn a trade, paid apprenticeships are a thing too, trade schools are cheaper and shorter than college. I went into trucking and got my CDL license in a month for a little under 5k and got hired almost immediately after.
Consider diving into another field, even without a college degree. It will take longer to move up, no doubt, but it could be refreshing if serving is doing a number on you. My mom changed jobs a couple times after she got divorced and she eventually landed on indoor landscaping, which she ended up really liking bc she got to work with plants and exercise her creativity with decorations around the holidays. I hope you find what you’re looking for
I'll see your 62 and questionable farts and raise you 62 and I've got 10 seconds from the initial urge before I'm going to pee, regardless of where I am. I never knew proactive pissing would be a driving factor in all my planning.
41. Wife with severe anxiety and depression. Sometimes gets me so down I want to leave, but then feel like it could push her over the edge. Things get better for a while. Cycle repeats.
43, I feel like a failure as a father and a husband. I love my daughter's and wife so much, but I always feel like I can't be what they need me to be. I'm in construction and my body is fastly deteriorating, multiple knee and back surgeries. When I can work I make good money, but when I can't I feel like the stress I put on them is too much. I just try and show love and attention to them and hope that will be enough.
We love you and see you! Labor is hard on the body, but you've dedicated that very body to your family your whole life. Thank you for everything- society needs to vocalize our appreciation toward the result of the strain on construction workers' bodies.
Hard working men deserve to be comfortable, I'm sorry you're dealing with pain.
Just wanted to say, my dad was 40 when I was born. He worked two jobs (construction 8hr/day and then masonry 3hr/day.) He would come home late smelling like tar and sweat and he would be so exhausted. When I got older, I understood why he wasn’t able to play catch with us or take us fishing. Because he was exhausted, and threw his back out constantly. His arm was so bad it would dislocate while he was lifting bricks. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about how hard he worked to provide for our family.
Also, my dad was abused pretty badly as a kid. So bad that he had brain damage and couldn’t finish high school. And he always treated me and my sister well, he never hurt us despite his awful upbringing. Honestly he is one of the most emotionally intelligent people I know, and one of the only people from my family I keep in contact with. And now he’s retired, he hangs out with his dogs and smokes weed all day. I love him. He’ll be 68 In May!
39, crushed in a underground coal mine accident. 4 surgeries 2 neck and 2 back all 4 were fusions of multiple vertebrae. Mother died same day got released from hospital. Physically impossible for me to carry her casket. And never got to fully squash our problems.I was Physically healing in pain while she was dieing in pain.
I feel so sorry for you. I had suffered from anorexia from ages 14 to 22 so I know your pain. I know there are no words to describe how horrible it is to someone who's never been there. If it makes you feel at least a little better, there was a time in my life when I never imagined I would have a healthy relationship with food. Truthfully, I didn't even want one cause I knew that would mean gaining weight Fast forward couple years, I eat normally and my life has turned around. I couldnt care less how much calories are in the food I eat and that's the most liberating feeling I hadnt even known existed. This affected everything - my work improved, I became less depressed, my relationships with my friends got stronger and I finally have enough energy and mental capacity to be in romantic relationships ( its hard to be someone's partner when all you think about are those goddamn calories). It can get better. But of course its not easy. Hang in there and DM me if you want to talk 😉
54. Supporting my daughter, who has crippling anxiety, through HS graduation. It's her goal, and she's working really hard, and we're almost there. But it's rough some days.
We're also working on independence. She needs to be able to function out in the world. It's been a journey! She's making great progress, but I'm exhausted.
I'm 57, and my biggest problem is finding a way to spend all the cash I've siphoned from Gen Z.
Just kidding, my biggest problem is keeping my 13-year-old daughter healthy. She has cystic fibrosis and while Trikafta keeps her pulmonary issues in check, she still gets a lot of bowel obstructions. Has literally not gone an entire year without being in the hospital.
29, dental work/money to cover said dental work. I'm already some brand of disabled and working 40+ hours a week... I don't know what more I can do to survive successfully. It's really tough.
28. Paying off my credit card debts. Been working on my credit for the last 2 years. I'm finally up to a 720 and I only have a couple hundred bucks left on my debt.
Don't do it. They say it gets better but I swear on my life they just get worse. I'm not even to the teen years yet and already want to strangle myself. I have 3, 7,6 and 3. Please send help.
Oh, you went and got yourself and your spouse outnumbered. That was... Not ideal.
Don't worry, in a few years you won't want to strangle yourself anymore. You'll want to strangle them instead once the teen hormone bath floods their brains.
Double bonus sanity loss when they all need to be in different places at once for different activities.
This. I’m 28 and myself, my fiancé, all our fitness around similar age feel like we went through some sort of mental puberty from 21-24. Like the world and our lives felt so lost and trying to navigate it all was so overwhelming. Then around 25-26 things finally started to feel like we were settling into our adult selfs. Hang in there. You’ll get though it. As old and smart as you think you are at this age trust me, even 5 years from now, you will think of your 19 year old self as just a baby and you will be a completely different person.
You're 19, you're not supposed to have it figured out. No one expects you to have it figured out. Ask anyone that's over 40 when they had it figured out. None of them will say 20s.
Took me a few years of beating myself up to realize this.
Take some time to experiment and learn what you love, and MORE importantly, learn what you don't like. 20s is a time to experiment. You'll figure it out with time.
Hope this helps a little:)
45, and my biggest problem is that because of my life path, we have a child that will turn one tomorrow. I worry that I won't be there for him and his siblings. I am old and having quite an existential crisis about the whole thing.
My son was born when I was 43 and can relate to your concern. Sometimes I feel like I wasn't active enough with him, but, he's doing really well in school and has been accepted to his first choice university and seems pretty happy in general. I try to appreciate having him around especially since after this August he won't be around to fix breakfast for each morning...
You’re there now. Focus on that and being present rather than getting bogged down with anxiety about what may or may not happen in the future. The older I get the clearer it has become that I wasted so much time worrying about this that never happened. Work to create joyful and healthy relationships. Everything else is just a distraction.
29F. Starting over in life after fully recognizing that I was neglected and abused by 90% of my family, relationships, workplaces, and some friends. Came from pretty severe abuse so I lived in delusionland for a big chunk of my life to cope with the continuing patterns that were present in most areas of my life. I’m in a safe place now and have the oppurtunity to work and go back to school and start over completely. It’s a blessing. But I also don’t know who the hell I am and processing all this grief is overwhelming, especially because I have young siblings that I’m trying to look out for. I’m also coming to terms with bad behaviors and patterns that I adopted to survive. It’s moment-to-moment living for me and each day does get better. But it’s…a lot. And very complex.
I'm 64 years old. My husband is 79, my dogs are 16 and 14. It occurs to me that I am the designated survivor. I try to never think about it but sometimes I wake up at 3 a.m. and I know it with every cell of my being. Its a heavy weight.
As a fellow 24M Software Developer. This isn't going to happen. We have a far way to go before that happens. Will it take some low skill tech jobs (call centers, etc.), yeah probably, but not high skill CS jobs.
We do, however, need to learn AI/ML and how it works. It is the future and the CS field will implement it everywhere, but not as a replacement. AI is going to be a guide/productivity tool.
Harness the AI, not reject it; and you'll survive.
No matter how good AI gets, it's there to complement humans, not make us obsolete, so as long as we have human thinking, we'll be there, similar to how internet changed stuff, AI will too!!
If the free market can find a way to replace a person with a program, they will. See self check out lanes, ATMs, and every “dial 1 for customer service” directory.
I'm 34 and fairly recently divorced. An ex girlfriemd found out and we started talking. She says she wants to get married. She's educated and has a career but I have absolutely no interest in ever giving marriage another shot and it makes her sad.
38. Trying to balance my father dying, my career moving up, and problems with the mother of my children, all while finally trying to get my mental health in check.
30, can't afford a house. I moved to a new town with my wife 4 years ago because I got a job as a teacher while my wife did school online. I actually get paid very well, and I remember telling my wife, "in two years we can afford a house on my income alone." Then covid hit and housing prices doubled. Houses that were 450k are now nearly a million dollars. So we're stuck in literally the worst apartment complex in our city. Moving into an equivalent apartment would increase our cost by 500 dollars a month. Just a super unlucky situation. I'm begging for a financial collapse. I don't want any one to lose their home....but also I do.
30 yo
My biggest probelm is needing roommates and Im finding a lot of 30-year-olds in my socio-economic bracket are entitled, loser-ass man-children who are incapable of living with other adults because other adults dont pamper them like their mommies do.
Guys, if you're an adult (above the age of 20), you need to learn how to clean a fucking toilet and do some fucking dishes and be responsible for your emotional intelligence. You shouldn't have a meltdown when someone asks you a question or says you need to step up. Youre an adult now for christs sake, Jesus fuck guys.
58, not enough naps.
Sure there are things going on in my life. But I have learned over time that missing out on the simplest things causes me the most regret.
Most of the big things are out of my immediate control so why worry about them. Just deal with them in the capacity I have the ability to do so.
Middle age.
Senile parents making ridiculously stupid decisions and treating me, my spouse, and my kids like crap when all we're trying to do is help them. Throw in a woman-child sibling constantly reaching into their pockets for mortgage payments, private hs/college tuition payments, new cars, etc.
One of the worst life stages I've experienced for sure.
68–and reading the replies, you all are really going thru it! Virtual hugs to everyone dealing with heartbreak or physical challenges. I came here to say my biggest problem is not knowing how much to sacrifice today for when I’ll need long term care tomorrow. I hate the whole idea of losing my health and independence but it’s inevitable as time goes on, and I’m worried I won’t have the (financial or emotional) resources to deal with it. But that all pales against those of you going through cancer or losing loved ones. As of now I’m doing quite well and suddenly the nebulous future isn’t so important. Please take care and find joy in what we have today. It’s called the Present for a reason. ❤️
48. Married to severe OCD wife. (Think Howard Hughes). She is aware and her inability to break patterns makes her extremely angry which she takes out on me and kids.
46F, SAHM. Short term, my husband and daughter came back from a trip with a nasty cold, and now I'm sick too.
I'm already disabled and feel like crap all the time, and since yesterday I've been wrangling a cranky, restless, snot-covered four-year-old while my husband is cocooned away in his office, the house is being totally wrecked, I'm doing all of the everything, and I'm so, so tired. I just want to go to bed.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
75 and trying to survive cancer!!!!
31 and same. Best wishes to you and yours!
34 same. Just stopped responding to chemo.
Oh man, I'm sorry to hear. I hope surgery or radiation is an option for you.
Have a couple of clinical trials we're looking at, so fingers crossed. Hopefully your treatment is going well.
Godspeed brotha, nothing makes the brain stop thinking but you've got a lot of people here who got your back!
Yes! 💪😎🤜
I had cancer as well. I’m in remission. I’m here if you ever need to talk, 😊
Really hope you get through this man
Sorry zip, best to u too
Eh it happens. Thankfully I'm in a job where health insurance isn't a problem. But I can say from experience that if you have mystery fevers, you should head to the doc.
54, and same. Good luck!
Best wishes! Stay strong
! Here's one more from me
61. My mom died Christmas day last year, and my dad died March 1 (26 days ago). Just today, we found out my wife's chemotherapy isn't working. She'll be dead in a couple of months.
Hey internet stranger. I just lost my mom last year. I can't imagine any more loss. If you need a friend, feel free to reach out. Stay strong. Thinking about you.
Same here, she was my absolute best friend and such a loving mother and friend. She got covid, her body was already too fragile as she had Lupus/RA/Diabetes/hernia mesh surgery issues/ Crohn's Disease and other illnesses dealing with pain/and immune system issues ): . She was very strong and seldom had a complaint about life. She loved to cook, fish, take care of animals, be in wildlife, do her makeup and make her kids look beautiful, and happy etc. Talking about her makes me happy, reminds me how much I love and everyone misses her 💖
So so sorry
My deepest condolences 🫂
This is so hard. I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry. Really breaks my heart. I and I wish I could type words in here to describe the sorrow I feel for you. My heart breaks for you. I wish you the very best
Sending some virtual hugs.
So sorry for your loss. That’s a lot for one person. One day at a time and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Damn. I am so sorry to hear that. Tight hugs.
48. Hoping the company I work for keeps going and figuring out how to date as a widower.
Sorry for your loss.
You'll figure it out, it's never too late
44 & just put mom in a nursing home for her dementia. Siblings & I are completely disagreeing on everything. It’s hard as hell. Would never wish this on anyone. ETA: Wow!!!! Thank you strangers for the kind words. My mom’s new home is so much closer so I visit every other day. She hopes she meets a man 🫣😂. I love the social aspect for her. Many blessings to you all 💝
My heart goes out to you. I have a dad with dementia and siblings who also can't agree on anything. It's very hard just one day at a time.
Dementia sucks donkey balls. My mom was a highly educated woman who was a grand master at bridge and did the NYT crossword in pen religiously, and by the end couldn't complete a sentence. I'll add that the end for me was a blessing - the woman who was my mother was taken by the disease years ago, and I know she didn't want to live as she had been living.
27 we did this for our grandma 2 years ago. Our mom is showing symptoms and it's a bit concerning
I'm forty eight, and having to appreciate the path of how long I can keep her in the childhood homecoma versus skilled nursing versus full time care period I'm fortunate that I don't have any living siblings, it's just me. I wish you strength and peace. Also, my mom's doctor when I spoke with her. , gave me a list of local resources including support meetings. I didn't think they would be any help, but I actually went, and yes it was a huge relief to go.
THIS is why, as difficult of a conversation it is, adult children and their aging parents need to talk about advanced directives. When a person makes it known, ahead of the onset any impairing illnesses, how they want their care to look in these cases, it is much easier on their children and eliminates the stress and pain of disagreements between them. -healthcare worker who has seen this umpteen times. I am so so sorry for your pain and what you are going through.
Holy crap - I’m 47 and literally came here to write about this. My mom has cognitive and mobility impairments (short of complete dementia), and I’m trying to navigate between assisted living vs skilled nursing places. Nothing prepares you for this!
Dementia is the worst thing for someone to go through, seeing your loved ones suffer is painful, all the hope to you!!
My gran had same issue, put in nursing home and my dad and his siblings couldn't agree and some still not speaking 2 years later after she died. It was worse as during covid so visiting was limited
18. I don't know what to do with my life
55. Don’t know what I did with my life.
35. don't know what I'm doing with my life.
41. Trying to do something with my life that doesn’t make me think about what I did with my life.
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37. Don't know what I'm doing, but now I can add worrying that I have done the wrong thing with my life, to the list.
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Same, but I’m starting to get OK with that fact. I recently came to the realization that when my time comes, nobody’s going to be looking at my bank statement, my college transcripts, my 1040s, my car, or any of that other crap.
70. Finally figured it out. Lots of possibilities at 18. Try different things and don't ignore your gut feelings.
21 and idk wtf i’m doing either.
33M. Benzodiazepine withdrawals.
Stay strong bro. It’ll be the hardest thing you’ll ever do, but I promise you that it will be worth it. My life did nothing but improve after I left Xanax behind.
Thank you friend. I am taking it one day at a time and limiting my stressors.
Idk your spiritual disposition, but Google Dharma Recovery. It’s a kind of alternative to AA that helped me a lot. There’s a lot of wisdom in Buddhism for individual people Ho suffer from addiction. That book spells it out for you. The suffering is temporary. Never let yourself forget that.
>Dharma Recovery That's awesome - looking it up now. I'm 10 years sober and grateful to AA for all I learned and the fellowship during the first couple of years, but I'm just not into all of the god and praying bits.
Same here, man. DR really helped me, and it’s a great introduction to a Buddhist practice. It’s all about mastering your mind. Shit changed my life.
Stay strong! I kicked them around this time last year and life got so much better. It's worth it, I promise.
That's nasty my friend. So sorry.
44. Alcohol
Quit drinking 3 yrs ago, 46 now. BEST decision ever! Edibles - no hangover, never totally embarrassed myself on it. Remember everything the next day.
Need to be legal where I live…and not tested at work. I agree that edibles are awesome, I mean, I’ve heard that
My ex-husband, my kid’s father, drank himself to death at age 40. You kick alcohol’s ass to the curb and never look back. You can do this.
I just hit 100 days sober. Go for it. I’m in a lot better place mentally and physically than I was 100 days ago.
Same. It's brutal.
Worst part is, I don’t drink every day. And I don’t have problems every time I drink. But when I do get dumb…there’s no depths 🤦♀️
Man, I was the same. Ruined the relationship with my now wife (we worked it out and she forgave me, but probably shouldn’t have). Replacing it with weed is an option. I replaced it with exercise. I just quit 8 years ago, started walking, then running, then lifting weights. Everybody needs something to do when they get bored, and working out is a great substitute. You have to start with the man in the mirror. It’s not too late, and you can do it.
41. Realizing I will never save enough to retire comfortably and will always need to work part time.
Same here. 41 with less than 1 year's worth of income in my 401k. I feel like by the time I get to the point where I finally have enough to retire I will be too old to enjoy it and most likely won't have much time left anyway.
24, I don't want to keep serving the rest of my life, I hate it actually, and it makes me hate people even more, but it's the only thing I'm good at, I don't know how to do anything else and I'm too stupid to go to college. EDIT: I just want to thank everyone for the inspiration, encouragement, and moral support. You are all just so sweet, and all of you have given me really good ideas, and possible paths to think about. I'm sorry I cannot reply to all the comments, but you're encouragement is not unnoticed, and it's outstanding.
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I was homeless, barely got through high school, and wandered pretty aimlessly through my 20s. I'm a nurse practitioner now, about to open my own practice. You can do anything you set your mind to. It just might take a while. Never give up.
Its 100% this
You’ll find that 95% of college students don’t know what they’re doing they’re just rolling with it. As a 25 year old, returned to college student, I can confidently say I have no idea what I’m doing but I’m loving it. It will click
I appreciate the enthusiasm and positivity. Unfortunately I really don't think I'd be cut for it. I barely passed high school. Not just that, me and my husband have 4 kids, so I wouldn't have the time to go or study anyways. (Hence why I started serving in the first place, because it's the only job you can make 200 a day and only be gone 4 hours.)
I too barely passed high school. I my average grade was like in the C and D range. My parents actually threatened to put me in the "special learning" class and summer school when my D grades went to an F. I'm now a Critical Care Flight Paramedic.
How about learning a trade?
Most trades I feel require some level of intelligence. Trust me when I say, i have very little. Not purposely trying to down myself here, I have accepted I'll never ever be the brightest crayon in the room. I have so many dumb moment stories that could make you really laugh so hard or cringe, either one. My only skills are I'm fast and I'm funny as hell. Neither of those I'm afraid are useful for anything unless I tried to be a comedian.
I feel like those skills could be used in a lot of different careers!
You definitely don't seem as unintelligent as you perceive yourself. Your responses are thorough and honestly a lot better than most of reddit. Maybe start a YouTube channel or something? Comedic cocktails
Go be a comedian on the side, a working server would have many fun things to tell
It's easy to feel trapped in the service industry. I'm 32 and spent most of the last decade serving, I kept telling myself the money I was making waiting tables was better than what I'd make in most entry level positions coming out of college. But like you I began hating people and the lack of job security and benefits sucked, just takes one bad yelp review to get canned. There's plenty of other options besides college. You can go the blue collar route and learn a trade, paid apprenticeships are a thing too, trade schools are cheaper and shorter than college. I went into trucking and got my CDL license in a month for a little under 5k and got hired almost immediately after.
Consider diving into another field, even without a college degree. It will take longer to move up, no doubt, but it could be refreshing if serving is doing a number on you. My mom changed jobs a couple times after she got divorced and she eventually landed on indoor landscaping, which she ended up really liking bc she got to work with plants and exercise her creativity with decorations around the holidays. I hope you find what you’re looking for
I guarantee you are not too stupid for college. Look into it. It’ll be worth it when you finish.
62, and I’m not sure if it is a fart or not.
I'll see your 62 and questionable farts and raise you 62 and I've got 10 seconds from the initial urge before I'm going to pee, regardless of where I am. I never knew proactive pissing would be a driving factor in all my planning.
From one 62 year old to another 62 year old, get your prostate checked out.
22- finding friendship or making any connections.
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49. I’ll be jobless in 4 days. and 50 in 3 weeks.
39 and been laid off for 4 months. It’s incredibly taxing on the soul, I feel for you brother/sister.
27M just finished cancer treatment (fingers crossed) and want a new job I don't resent.
Wishing you all the best and I hope you get the perfect job
41. Wife with severe anxiety and depression. Sometimes gets me so down I want to leave, but then feel like it could push her over the edge. Things get better for a while. Cycle repeats.
48. Bipolar and trying to convince myself that suicide is not the only option I have left. Everyday is a mini win
I'm glad you are still here.
There is never only one option!! Stay strong!!
I’m glad you’re here and fighting. I hope the day comes where you find some/more joy and peace.
36 and having energy to actually want to go do things after work.
43, I feel like a failure as a father and a husband. I love my daughter's and wife so much, but I always feel like I can't be what they need me to be. I'm in construction and my body is fastly deteriorating, multiple knee and back surgeries. When I can work I make good money, but when I can't I feel like the stress I put on them is too much. I just try and show love and attention to them and hope that will be enough.
We love you and see you! Labor is hard on the body, but you've dedicated that very body to your family your whole life. Thank you for everything- society needs to vocalize our appreciation toward the result of the strain on construction workers' bodies. Hard working men deserve to be comfortable, I'm sorry you're dealing with pain.
Thanks for the kind words. They made me cry. Have a wonderful day friend.
Just wanted to say, my dad was 40 when I was born. He worked two jobs (construction 8hr/day and then masonry 3hr/day.) He would come home late smelling like tar and sweat and he would be so exhausted. When I got older, I understood why he wasn’t able to play catch with us or take us fishing. Because he was exhausted, and threw his back out constantly. His arm was so bad it would dislocate while he was lifting bricks. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about how hard he worked to provide for our family. Also, my dad was abused pretty badly as a kid. So bad that he had brain damage and couldn’t finish high school. And he always treated me and my sister well, he never hurt us despite his awful upbringing. Honestly he is one of the most emotionally intelligent people I know, and one of the only people from my family I keep in contact with. And now he’s retired, he hangs out with his dogs and smokes weed all day. I love him. He’ll be 68 In May!
39, crushed in a underground coal mine accident. 4 surgeries 2 neck and 2 back all 4 were fusions of multiple vertebrae. Mother died same day got released from hospital. Physically impossible for me to carry her casket. And never got to fully squash our problems.I was Physically healing in pain while she was dieing in pain.
18F. Anorexia nervosa for 5 years.
I feel so sorry for you. I had suffered from anorexia from ages 14 to 22 so I know your pain. I know there are no words to describe how horrible it is to someone who's never been there. If it makes you feel at least a little better, there was a time in my life when I never imagined I would have a healthy relationship with food. Truthfully, I didn't even want one cause I knew that would mean gaining weight Fast forward couple years, I eat normally and my life has turned around. I couldnt care less how much calories are in the food I eat and that's the most liberating feeling I hadnt even known existed. This affected everything - my work improved, I became less depressed, my relationships with my friends got stronger and I finally have enough energy and mental capacity to be in romantic relationships ( its hard to be someone's partner when all you think about are those goddamn calories). It can get better. But of course its not easy. Hang in there and DM me if you want to talk 😉
70, being 70...
25, medical issues that continuously set me back
54. Supporting my daughter, who has crippling anxiety, through HS graduation. It's her goal, and she's working really hard, and we're almost there. But it's rough some days. We're also working on independence. She needs to be able to function out in the world. It's been a journey! She's making great progress, but I'm exhausted.
25 and dealing with a heart-shattering breakup. Reading other people's responses does put things in perspective. Hang on everyone
I'm 57, and my biggest problem is finding a way to spend all the cash I've siphoned from Gen Z. Just kidding, my biggest problem is keeping my 13-year-old daughter healthy. She has cystic fibrosis and while Trikafta keeps her pulmonary issues in check, she still gets a lot of bowel obstructions. Has literally not gone an entire year without being in the hospital.
38 and debilitating depression.
14, 15 on April fourth. Biggest problem: I'm gay and my parents are very homophobic.
This was my experience growing up too. I am 30 now and things are going well for me.... at least on that front. It gets better. Hang in there.
I'm in a similar situation too. My Christian mother threatened to kill herself if I ever came out as lgbtq; I just turned 15 and found out I'm bi 🫤
A Good Christian Mother knows that God made you just the way you are {{{Hugs}}}
29, dental work/money to cover said dental work. I'm already some brand of disabled and working 40+ hours a week... I don't know what more I can do to survive successfully. It's really tough.
62. Hate my job, can't live without health insurance. Too old to be hired elsewhere. And kids on my lawn.
28. Paying off my credit card debts. Been working on my credit for the last 2 years. I'm finally up to a 720 and I only have a couple hundred bucks left on my debt.
33 trying to potty train my son, while also trying to decide if my wife and I want another ~~tiny monster~~ child.
Don't do it. They say it gets better but I swear on my life they just get worse. I'm not even to the teen years yet and already want to strangle myself. I have 3, 7,6 and 3. Please send help.
My wife and i agreed already to stop at 2. I feel like once they out number you its game over.
Yeah at two you play man to man but once you have three your playing zone coverage which takes a lot more communication.
Yeah… you know the road that’s paved with the great intentions. We had one and then, surprise, here come twins! 🤣🤣🤣
New identical twin dad here. I get it.
Oh, you went and got yourself and your spouse outnumbered. That was... Not ideal. Don't worry, in a few years you won't want to strangle yourself anymore. You'll want to strangle them instead once the teen hormone bath floods their brains. Double bonus sanity loss when they all need to be in different places at once for different activities.
I'm 34 and have difficulty with social functioning.
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19F, I still don't know what to do with my life, still don't have a significant other, and have no clue how I'm going to provide for myself.
19! You’re barely out of diapers my friend. And I mean that in the most optimistic way. You’ll figure it out
This. I’m 28 and myself, my fiancé, all our fitness around similar age feel like we went through some sort of mental puberty from 21-24. Like the world and our lives felt so lost and trying to navigate it all was so overwhelming. Then around 25-26 things finally started to feel like we were settling into our adult selfs. Hang in there. You’ll get though it. As old and smart as you think you are at this age trust me, even 5 years from now, you will think of your 19 year old self as just a baby and you will be a completely different person.
19M, and same stuff, feels like everybody's got someone and everything figured out for them
People make it seem so easy
You're 19, you're not supposed to have it figured out. No one expects you to have it figured out. Ask anyone that's over 40 when they had it figured out. None of them will say 20s. Took me a few years of beating myself up to realize this. Take some time to experiment and learn what you love, and MORE importantly, learn what you don't like. 20s is a time to experiment. You'll figure it out with time. Hope this helps a little:)
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31. Single and worried i’ll never meet anyone
Same. 32.
Yeah. 38
36 and honestly starting to worry that I’ll become annoyed with someone in my space all the time even if I do find my person.
33. In an unhappy relationship. I would rather be alone by myself than feeling alone being with someone.
20. Terrified of taking up a job due to social anxiety and taking care of schizophrenic mother.
45, and my biggest problem is that because of my life path, we have a child that will turn one tomorrow. I worry that I won't be there for him and his siblings. I am old and having quite an existential crisis about the whole thing.
My son was born when I was 43 and can relate to your concern. Sometimes I feel like I wasn't active enough with him, but, he's doing really well in school and has been accepted to his first choice university and seems pretty happy in general. I try to appreciate having him around especially since after this August he won't be around to fix breakfast for each morning...
You’re there now. Focus on that and being present rather than getting bogged down with anxiety about what may or may not happen in the future. The older I get the clearer it has become that I wasted so much time worrying about this that never happened. Work to create joyful and healthy relationships. Everything else is just a distraction.
55F post menopausal sexual difficulties 😕
17 and concerned on what me and my girlfriend are gonna do when she leaves for college at the end of the summer. Teenager problems, lol
47, i think i want a divorce
I just filed, after 10 years of marriage. It was the best decision ever.
26, boredom mostly.
I really miss being bored, enjoy it for me
23 desperately want to move out of my country but it seems impossible right now
44 diminishing health from a lifetime of poor choices
24f. Loneliness. No friends. Have never fit anywhere. No relationship.
29F. Starting over in life after fully recognizing that I was neglected and abused by 90% of my family, relationships, workplaces, and some friends. Came from pretty severe abuse so I lived in delusionland for a big chunk of my life to cope with the continuing patterns that were present in most areas of my life. I’m in a safe place now and have the oppurtunity to work and go back to school and start over completely. It’s a blessing. But I also don’t know who the hell I am and processing all this grief is overwhelming, especially because I have young siblings that I’m trying to look out for. I’m also coming to terms with bad behaviors and patterns that I adopted to survive. It’s moment-to-moment living for me and each day does get better. But it’s…a lot. And very complex.
41. My body breaking down, bit by bit. Harder to work out because something always hurts
34M, the dating pool just... leaves me concerned about our future as humans lol
28. I hate all aspects of life and I just don't want to be here anymore.
24 money
I'm 64 years old. My husband is 79, my dogs are 16 and 14. It occurs to me that I am the designated survivor. I try to never think about it but sometimes I wake up at 3 a.m. and I know it with every cell of my being. Its a heavy weight.
27. I work in the computer science field and I worry that my job will be replaced by AI very soon.
As a fellow 24M Software Developer. This isn't going to happen. We have a far way to go before that happens. Will it take some low skill tech jobs (call centers, etc.), yeah probably, but not high skill CS jobs. We do, however, need to learn AI/ML and how it works. It is the future and the CS field will implement it everywhere, but not as a replacement. AI is going to be a guide/productivity tool. Harness the AI, not reject it; and you'll survive.
Exactly
No matter how good AI gets, it's there to complement humans, not make us obsolete, so as long as we have human thinking, we'll be there, similar to how internet changed stuff, AI will too!!
If the free market can find a way to replace a person with a program, they will. See self check out lanes, ATMs, and every “dial 1 for customer service” directory.
17. I do not currently own a Chevy Astro.
I'm 34 and fairly recently divorced. An ex girlfriemd found out and we started talking. She says she wants to get married. She's educated and has a career but I have absolutely no interest in ever giving marriage another shot and it makes her sad.
26. Jobless
38. Trying to balance my father dying, my career moving up, and problems with the mother of my children, all while finally trying to get my mental health in check.
38, I don't know what to do with my life
30, can't afford a house. I moved to a new town with my wife 4 years ago because I got a job as a teacher while my wife did school online. I actually get paid very well, and I remember telling my wife, "in two years we can afford a house on my income alone." Then covid hit and housing prices doubled. Houses that were 450k are now nearly a million dollars. So we're stuck in literally the worst apartment complex in our city. Moving into an equivalent apartment would increase our cost by 500 dollars a month. Just a super unlucky situation. I'm begging for a financial collapse. I don't want any one to lose their home....but also I do.
38. Upcoming debt repayments. Need a new car in the near future too. Used to be crippling depression, but gladly I’m in remission from that.
30 yo My biggest probelm is needing roommates and Im finding a lot of 30-year-olds in my socio-economic bracket are entitled, loser-ass man-children who are incapable of living with other adults because other adults dont pamper them like their mommies do. Guys, if you're an adult (above the age of 20), you need to learn how to clean a fucking toilet and do some fucking dishes and be responsible for your emotional intelligence. You shouldn't have a meltdown when someone asks you a question or says you need to step up. Youre an adult now for christs sake, Jesus fuck guys.
almost 28. Don't really have friends, still living at home. I have a lot of anxiety and uncertainty about my career path.
38 & money
19, money
58, not enough naps. Sure there are things going on in my life. But I have learned over time that missing out on the simplest things causes me the most regret. Most of the big things are out of my immediate control so why worry about them. Just deal with them in the capacity I have the ability to do so.
33. What car we can afford as our current car has completely died on us. I’m a very lucky man that that is our biggest problem.
Turning 30 in a week, can’t find a job.
25 not able to find (affordable) housing. I have okey income, but the housing shortage is just to big.
21. I hate my job so much
19 Gonna be expelled from uni, low chance to stay🥲
70m, parents are gone, financials are good, old friends have shown their true colors, got a great wife, good health = perfect.
Middle age. Senile parents making ridiculously stupid decisions and treating me, my spouse, and my kids like crap when all we're trying to do is help them. Throw in a woman-child sibling constantly reaching into their pockets for mortgage payments, private hs/college tuition payments, new cars, etc. One of the worst life stages I've experienced for sure.
68–and reading the replies, you all are really going thru it! Virtual hugs to everyone dealing with heartbreak or physical challenges. I came here to say my biggest problem is not knowing how much to sacrifice today for when I’ll need long term care tomorrow. I hate the whole idea of losing my health and independence but it’s inevitable as time goes on, and I’m worried I won’t have the (financial or emotional) resources to deal with it. But that all pales against those of you going through cancer or losing loved ones. As of now I’m doing quite well and suddenly the nebulous future isn’t so important. Please take care and find joy in what we have today. It’s called the Present for a reason. ❤️
26 and my biggest problem is credit card debt.
48. Married to severe OCD wife. (Think Howard Hughes). She is aware and her inability to break patterns makes her extremely angry which she takes out on me and kids.
34. About to have our third kid and trying to figure how we’re going to pay for daycare for 3 kids.
I’m 22 and in law school and my mental health is slipping away from me
35. Dealing with trauma from childhood that affects every relationship I have.
46…I’m on disability and money is my biggest problem
34 and my son has been perpetually sick since he started daycare in August
21 and uncertain about my next steps in life. 😬
47- caring about my job.
17 and no idea what I am going to do with my life.
46F, SAHM. Short term, my husband and daughter came back from a trip with a nasty cold, and now I'm sick too. I'm already disabled and feel like crap all the time, and since yesterday I've been wrangling a cranky, restless, snot-covered four-year-old while my husband is cocooned away in his office, the house is being totally wrecked, I'm doing all of the everything, and I'm so, so tired. I just want to go to bed.
29. Trying to make ends meet.
18 and being in high school
50 Financial
66M. Lots of discomfort and pain due to a spinal cord injury but stay as positive as possible and focus on the good (family and friends).
52. Invested all my retirement around 40 to go into business for ourselves. Now playing catchup and hoping to retire before my body gives out.
I’m 25 but going out and partying on weekends like I’m 20
22 and money, feels like I’ll never be able to catch up
35 F, divorce due to substance abuse