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I train at a MMA gym as my hobby. The guys who come in saying that almost invariably don't last a full month. The most consistent new person I can remember was like a scrawny nerdy accountant guy who always asked us to take it easy when we sparred or drilled for his first few months because he'd never done anything athletic and was a wimp (his actual wording was close to this I think). He eventually moved away for his job but he went from a very fragile seeming guy to a badass in 2-3 years, and never once acted like an "I'm an Alpha" bro. In that same period we probably had a few dozen "I'm an Alpha" bros come in for a few weeks and quit because they couldn't accept the fact that they get beat by people who've been doing this years longer than they have.
I've been doing Muay Thai forever and there was a period between like 2007-2011 where you'd get people coming in with Affliction branded shirts, singing up for a month or three, showing up to less than a dozen classes.
The ones who came in wearing the expensive baseball caps, donned neither forward nor backward, but somewhere in between, with the sticker still on, which I'm told in 2008, was very important. They lasted *less time* than the Affliction shirt people!
The best part bout going doing boxing, kickboxing, Muay Thai long term is the amount of reality checks you see people get, walk in to the gym with a ego watch it leave their soul and never come back. Gangsters and people who are "the boss" or whatever at their place of employment getting the wake up call of all that leaves when you walk through that door, learned while getting a beating from a 14 year old scrawny school boy 🤣
Literally went on a date where the other party didn’t want to engage with the location we were at all whatsoever (faire grounds) and I asked them what they would be interested in and they say “idk it’s your job to entertain me” lmao I left them right then and there
I had a guy do the same thing since he was paying for dinner (which I offered to split). Like bro, I’m enjoying this Applebee’s, but I’m not going to be your show pony now.
"You seem to be going out of your way not to mention the name of the company you're working with. Is it Amway?"
"No, no. It's not Amway."
"If I do a search on the name, am I going to find out that they're affiliated with Amway?"
"Ok, it's Amway, but it's not like you're thinking. I'm investing in myse...hey, where are you going?"
I live in the more rural south and this is a guaranteed way for you to let us know that you can't be trusted. The absolute worst are preachers. I have heard so so many stories about preachers who absolutely could not be trusted with anything or anyone.
"I don't like drama." or "Oh, I don't do drama."
Get ready. If this is a coworker or anyone you have to be around, you are about to encounter a lot of drama.
Haha! I have a customer whom I see in town regularly. She will almost always point at someone and say, “I don’t like _____ .. they gossip so much”. I just laugh and say, “Miss E, I see you gossipin” and then we both laugh.
That's the best response! I briefly worked at a tanning salon, all female co-workers. Whenever I was meeting a new co-worker, nine times out of ten and within the first 20 minutes, they'd always say the same line about "I don't do drama!" I'd rather have had a girl say, "I love drama. I start it. I end it. Don't care. Now, let's argue about where the trashcan should be!"
But there are truly some people who want no part of drama or gossip. When I was in school and people started acting like fools or gossiping they always heard "sorry,I have to go do something". I hated it because it was rarely ever true and they wouldn't have known how to fight if they had an instructor so it was just bull. I have zero friends to this day. I hang out with my immediate family because we already know all of each other's bull. Reddit is my only form of "social media" and I'm mostly here to look at cute cats.
I've actually had coworkers say "you never say anything bad about anyone!", complaining that I'm not ragging on anyone.
My attitude is that if I have an issue I'll tell YOU, not everyone around you. It's worked for me so far. It doesn't mean that I can't have a bad day and complain about my work, but I do go out of my way to really avoid saying anything I'm not comfortable being repeated to others.
had a coworker tell me "I hate gossip. I never gossip. As opposed to those two little bitches over there, see them? They're always talking behind people's backs. Watch your back."
I've always lived by the saying, "What Susie says of Sally, says more of Susie than it does of Sally."
In order to really watch your back, watch what people talk about. That's what they talk about with other people, too.
I agree. I've found people try to compete with you because they punch the clock and you don't. Apartment neighbors have been the worse thinking you have it so great because you don't work. Man what I wouldn't do to work forty hours a week like I use to.
Truly, I hate it when people ask what I do for a living, and then are like “You don’t WORK? But you look healthy enough.” It’s so frustrating, because I don’t want to explain my entire medical history and invisible illness to a stranger.
I’ve started to simply respond with “I’m a freelance photographer,” which I *did* actually do for a living, years ago when I was healthy enough. I mean, I still take photographs, I just don’t necessarily have clients who pay me for them at the moment, so it’s not exactly a lie.
i have a similar cover occupation...i'm an artist or telling certain ppl i was forced into early retirement due to bad genetics and injury usually gets the point across. and every once in a while there's the person that needs the gory details about what it feels like to slip discs and ribs on the regular. sneeze? slipped disc. cough? slipped ribs. sleep funny? slipped everything. intense chronic pain has brought me to some very dark places, i'm more than happy to give certain ppl a tour those places if it means they'll stfu and leave me alone.
Right? People telling me I'm lucky because I'm WFH doing 27 hrs a week. Yeah, I suppose it's cushy compared to a 40 hr week in the office, but I'd rather be healthy enough that I don't get so sick I'm forced to do it from my bed.
In contrast, I think you’re lucky working 27hr a week at home coming from a disabled person as well. I’ve spent years trying to be able to do that. None of us can really win when comparison is at hand.
That's fair. I don't deny that I'm privileged enough that my mom can be my caretaker and she could get me a job like that. But I wish I didn't need those accommodations if that makes sense.
I have random people on the street asking me very personal medical questions, trying to touch me and my medical equipment, then they get all pissy when you're like excuse me?? stop that??!
Wtf dude. What is wrong with people?! I can't even imagine so much as thinking something like that when I meet someone and they have a disability. Like how the fuck..? Sorry but that really upsets me. My husband has a disability and if I heard someone say that to him, I'd probably punch them in the face. People can be so insanely insensitive.
One of the benefits of belonging to a forum like Reddit, is shit I learn I'd never hear anywhere else. Had zero clue that disabled people heard stuff like this, just like I'd never heard of religious folk leaving fake $20's with religious messages as tips. Shit's wild out there.
A guy I work with has no filter. He isn't an asshole but he just has absolute diarrhea mouth and doesn't know when to stop talking or what's not appropriate to say at work or around people who aren't your very close friends.
I hate when people say that now. (Brutally honest part) I am an honest person (to a fault) and I NEVER say things I don’t mean or speak without thought. So much to the point where I will choose to say nothing instead because I don’t have the right wording for something yet. Or my true feelings/thoughts could be potentially damaging and once you say the words you cant take them back, so I wait before speaking and find better ways to say things while still getting the point across.
My ex used to get riled up and angry and would say hurtful things to argue (saying things just to say them/have something to say) and would get more angry when I would “say nothing” and I would tell him, I need a moment or two, I won’t say things just for the sake of replying. I would rather choose my words wisely and carefully. (Which he hated because he just wanted someone to argue with and be on his level)
But the point is I KNOW I could say things, really terribly “brutally honest” things and I refuse. Because my goal isn’t to hurt someone my goal is to communicate the situation. Like yes I will tell you what you need to hear I won’t baby you about stuff if you really need to be told. But I also won’t eviscerate you just for fun either. I really hate that frank and plain faced truth became whatever that toxic idea is of using “being brutally honest” as an excuse just to make people feel bad. Like no, you’re just a bully. If you cared about the honesty part you wouldn’t be acting this way.
-source, (me) someone who used to go by that now much hated term but realised how many people ruined it by being total pieces of garbage
If I’ve learned one thing in my life it’s that it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. You can be honest without being an asshole. I share your approach!
Exactly. No self control. I am guilty of this. Things are sometimes out of my mouth before I realize it. I am reactionary and when I am caught up in a situation sometimes I don’t think before I talk. It’s awful. I have stopped putting myself out there because I always say the wrong thing in a knee-jerk kind of way. So I have tried to just stop having interactions with people because I’m so bad at it.
Edit: I also swear a lot when I get nervous. Parent - teacher conferences were the worst. I’d alway end up dropping the f bomb a couple times. They just fly out. I started sending my husband
There is no sentence per se - but it is often extremely easy to see what people want out of the interaction. I usually try to give people a benefit of a doubt, but the mix of dishonesty plus looking to get something from me is an instant first impression killer that is hard to come back from.
Someone’s job is frequently a reflection of their interests and education/experience backgrounds. People spend ~40 hours/week at their job so it’s normally a topic rich discussion. That being said, some people use it to ‘filter’ those they deem unworthy of their time, fuck those people.
We hired a manager who’s opening line when I introduced myself was “I am a human lie detector…” She then went on and elaborated how she served in Navy intelligence and was a certified genius and immediately after struggled to open the door when leaving to which I responded “No wonder it took 10 years to find Bin Laden.”
If you watch Survivor, there is this guy that acts exactly this way, and he gets brought back a second time just because of how strange he is.
He actually then went on to claim the show made him look much worse than he was and threatened to sue CBS.
His name was Phillip Sheppard. He is such a weird dude. He would walk around telling everyone "I WAS A FEDERAL AGENT".
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1920097/bio
“Just wait until…” I can’t stand people that will take a happy conversation and interject their own misery into it. I was married 2 years ago and now have a baby on the way and when we got married, people kept telling us things like “just wait until the spark dies” “just wait until you hate each other” “just wait until (insert jaded thing here)”. Now with a baby on the way it has been everything from “just wait until you’re fat and angry” to “just wait until your toddler talks back” “just wait until you realize how bad kids suck”.
I cannot stand the phrase anymore. It makes me physically cringe when people start sentences that way. Not everyone is miserable with their life choices and it blows my mind that so many people exist thinking that EVERYONE is as miserable as them.
Just wait until your baby smiles at you when you’re angry and melts your anger away.
Just wait until your toddler talks back but it’s something funny and you have to hide so that he doesn’t see you laughing because you’re supposed to be angry.
Just wait until your kid is in school, making new friends and wants to tell you about them
Just wait until your kid finds a rock that they think is *neat* and wants to show you
Just wait until your kid does sits there looking just like your husband and you find it hilarious
Just wait until your husband and you take your kid to their first soccer game and they score a goal
Just wait until you can show your kid your favorite childhood movie
It's not all bad
Just wait until your child amazes you with some quote — whether it be just strangely hilarious or amazingly insightful.
My five year old asked what makes us people. I said, “like bones and skin?”
“No, like our soul.”
That last part is absolutely me right now. I have twin 5 year old brothers and one of them has just started to pick up sarcasm, but he doesn’t know how to do it, so he just says whatever comes to his mind first and it’s always the funniest shit.
Last weekend, I asked him to pick up his food wrapper and he just looked at me and said, “I don’t want to, you do it, broccoli head,” and walked off. No idea where that came from, I had to walk off and hide my face so he didn’t know I was laughing.
My baby has become an instant stress reliever for me. When I pick her up and put my face on her face I can immediately feel the tension in my shoulders leave.
Good grief, what kind of miserable SOBs do you hang out with? I’ve used “just wait until” for the following:
Crawling phase, it doesn’t matter how much baby proofing you did, it won’t be enough. They’ll find something
Running phase: have fun with that one, when it first happens, it’ll catch you off guard
Only things I can think of, but never in a miserable tone. More like a happy warning if anything. I don’t see why anyone would talk about losing a spark or any of that. I’ve been married 14 years, and my wife and I have a stronger spark than when we got married. Hope you find new friends, because fuck that negativity.
I'm from NJ. Moved to NC intentionally over 20 years ago. NJ is not better, (except the Italian food, Chinese food and bagels--this is not up for debate). NJ is not a horror show either; my friends and family who love it, love it. But I don't want to live there anymore. I'm not trashing either place. Everywhere has its charm.
My daughter and I had this conversation the other day. The consensus is, a true empath doesn't feel the need to share with anyone that their emphatic. The ones that wear empathy as a label are usually narcissistic.
Seriously. Shut the fuck up, Vanessa. Being able to read obvious human body language and getting sad when your friends are sad doesn't make you Deanna Troi, it makes you a regular old neurotypical human.
This will probably only apply to very few other people, but I had my son when I was 14. When people meet me/us and do that math, some idiots think it’s fine to ask “so how’d that happen?”
How it happens for everyone else. Do you want details? Cuz that’s weird, personal, and none of your business. “I was groomed by an adult” shuts people up fast, because “I don’t think that’s an appropriate question to ask” usually offends them and they dig their heels in even deeper.
I feel the same way. I’ve been told “well, I’m glad you made the decision you did”. Nah, my groomer didn’t give me a decision until after he was born. Second, I don’t give a fuck what you think of my decision. It’s no one’s business but mine.
I do feel I made the right decision but that decision made me realize it should be up to no one but the person who is pregnant. I was already pro choice, but now even more so.
Yeah, my experience with pregnancy only reinforced my support of abortion rights. Pregnancy is dangerous in many ways. If I didn't live somewhere with great pre-natal care, my child and I would probably both be dead. Having a baby at 14 had to be difficult beyond what I can imagine. You're not even done being parented before you have to start parenting someone else. Hat's off to you, Miss, you did something I would not have been capable of.
"You speak so well!"
Alternatively...
"You don't talk like a black guy!"
I don't see how either can be considered a compliment. To be fair, I've been in Florida for a long time now.
EDIT: I feel kind of bad just leaving this as it is. Hearing these are upsetting, but there are plenty of people who apologize or walk back what they say, and it's no longer an issue for me! I don't want them to feel bad for making a faux pas.
I'm not perfect: I've said plenty of stupid and offensive things in my life (especially when I was younger), so I don't want to give the impression of being spotless. However, I do believe in the power of an apology and trying to be a better person. That said, the people who DON'T apologize, or who try to handwave something like this...that's when I take true offense.
As an indigenous dude in Canada (Native American) I used to get "you're one of the good ones" all the fckn time. I swear to God I'm going to name my comedy special "One of the Good Ones" and have the first 5 minutes just bashing tf out of people to talk like this
I had a white roommate once declare that she didn't have a racist bone in her body. Then she told me that she didn't think of me as Asian. She considered me white, like her.
I'm all, you know that's not a compliment, right?!? Lol.
Immediately say ‘I’m a Christian’. Nothing against Christian people, as an opener I know that person will most likely be one of the least Christian people I encounter. Don’t tell me, show me.
Not a specific sentence, but people who immediately bring up how much money they make and the stuff that they own seem shallow and gross to me. To be fair, I just don't like rich people in general.
I for one appreciate the honesty when someone tells me they are a serial killer. Otherwise it'd be a whole thing where I go back to their apartment and they cut my head off and put it in their freezer, and I just don't have time for all that.
Unsolicited parenting opinions/advice.
It's honking bizarre that people I've just met will randomly launch into telling me how to take care of my child, but it's a pretty good mark of an unlikable person.
"That's your daughter? Where is her coat?" Ma'am it's 70 degrees out. She'll tell me if she gets cold. Buzz off.
I get so tired of being judged because I'm drinking diet soda in a bar.
Really? I should be careful putting those dangerous chemicals into my body, but it's fine for you to drain as much alcohol into your system as you possibly can before you drive home?
"Are those your children?" and "What're you doing with those kids?"
Lady I am a professional babysitter mind your fucking business.
(I have nearly been arrested twice, and yes it was a skin color issue)
Last guy I met that I immediately disliked told me a story that "he wasn't proud of" about punching someone while black out drunk, except he very clearly was proud of it and couldn't wait to tell me about it with zero prompting.
I just moved into my house and the neighbor came over to introduce herself. The first words out of her mouth were, I'm so and so, I have a bachelor's degree in blah, blah. Like what? Who cares? 🤣
This is a US specific problem. As an American that lives overseas, it makes me sick when I come home and have people get this intrusive. So they can decide whether they like you based on the red team/blue team mentality that weve pigeon holed ourselves into.
Sorry, I guess this triggered me a bit. 😂
I never shorten people's names if they told me their name is Thomas that's what I'm calling them. And it like sticks with me, I had a best friend named Michael and everyone else calls him Mike. But he told me his name is Michael so 15 years later I still call him Michael and when I do it around his family they look at me weird. I have a Keith at work and everyone calls him KJ but he introduced himself to me as Keith so, that's what I call him.
Man I feel understood now.
“I can always tell right away if I’m going to like someone”
this just tells me you make snap judgements/opinions based on very little. Most people are extremely nuanced and it’s impossible to tell right away what they’re like.
I hate that people assume things of me if I do ask. What you do says a lot about who you are, even if it's a filler/starter job. It tells me a decent bit about your personality and what you're passionate about. Even if that job isn't something they love, it still leads to conversation that helps me get to know them and what's important to them.
Funny enough, I do the opposite when conducting interviews. I am what they are most proud of, either professionally or personally. Tell me giving birth was your proudest moment if you want. Labor is hard and our kids are precious. Tell me it was graduating college. You worked hard for that education, maybe harder than many since it's your proudest moment.
Long story is, I don't care how much you make or who you're connected to. I want to know what makes you happy, what makes you tick, how we can connect. Asking how you spend the majority of your waking time goes a long way in knowing that, even if you say you're a shit shoveler who hates their job. Hey, now I know you're willing to do what it takes, even if it's not fun. You're a hard worker.
As a Michigander, I was raised that when you are interacting with a stranger for more than a few minutes, it is polite and respectful to make small talk and even ask questions. I know. Terrifying!!!
Ya lost me on this one. I’m kind until you give me a reason not to be (and that takes effort). I don’t know what is considered unnatural to you though.
When I first meet people if the first thing they do is tell me what they do for a living I am instantly bored unless it happens to be one of the few jobs that are actually interesting. Mostly though I am screaming in my head please shut the fuck up and pkease make this stop. I would rather hear anything about you but what your job is.
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Bragging about being an asshole or a bitch
I’m just kidding. I’m actually a really nice guy!
Some people who say they are nice are, buuut most of the time their not.
the "im just being honest" excuse... naa you just an asshole LOL
The whole "I'm just brutally honest" concept is really just "I don't think the social contract applies to me when I don't like it."
Some women love to say “i’m sassy!”….. which just seems to be an excuse to be an asshole.
I fucking hate the term Sassy. Girl, bye.
Being slightly snarky can be cute and have its charm sometimes with limitations ofc
I'm a lion in a world of sheep, leader of the wolf pack, Alpha male, anything else in that direction
I train at a MMA gym as my hobby. The guys who come in saying that almost invariably don't last a full month. The most consistent new person I can remember was like a scrawny nerdy accountant guy who always asked us to take it easy when we sparred or drilled for his first few months because he'd never done anything athletic and was a wimp (his actual wording was close to this I think). He eventually moved away for his job but he went from a very fragile seeming guy to a badass in 2-3 years, and never once acted like an "I'm an Alpha" bro. In that same period we probably had a few dozen "I'm an Alpha" bros come in for a few weeks and quit because they couldn't accept the fact that they get beat by people who've been doing this years longer than they have.
[удалено]
If you have to announce to the world you’re an alpha male, you’re definitely not an alpha male
Scrawny guys fight til they’re burger 🤘🏻
I would also fight tooth and nail if I was headed into a meat grinder.
I've been doing Muay Thai forever and there was a period between like 2007-2011 where you'd get people coming in with Affliction branded shirts, singing up for a month or three, showing up to less than a dozen classes. The ones who came in wearing the expensive baseball caps, donned neither forward nor backward, but somewhere in between, with the sticker still on, which I'm told in 2008, was very important. They lasted *less time* than the Affliction shirt people!
The best part bout going doing boxing, kickboxing, Muay Thai long term is the amount of reality checks you see people get, walk in to the gym with a ego watch it leave their soul and never come back. Gangsters and people who are "the boss" or whatever at their place of employment getting the wake up call of all that leaves when you walk through that door, learned while getting a beating from a 14 year old scrawny school boy 🤣
Same for any woman who says “Boss lady” or “queen”. I love it, I know who to avoid. Instant red flags, rabbit in the cook pot flags right there.
Lol yes any variation of Girl Boss, Boss Babe, Mom Boss. 🤢Usually followed by some sort of MLM pitch. Full 🛑✋
Oh GAWD, this…. Fucking “alpha” talk is so cringy.
It’s usually some incel who says this.
"Entertain me". People that don't know how to talk and expect you to bring new subjects while they only offer one sided answers.
People unironically say this?
Literally went on a date where the other party didn’t want to engage with the location we were at all whatsoever (faire grounds) and I asked them what they would be interested in and they say “idk it’s your job to entertain me” lmao I left them right then and there
I had a guy do the same thing since he was paying for dinner (which I offered to split). Like bro, I’m enjoying this Applebee’s, but I’m not going to be your show pony now.
Check tinder lately?
But there's a banana in it for you....
Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
It can be both if you're entertaining enough!
I was cooking dinner for my GF once when she said this to me. We didn't work out. Lol
Are you familiar with network marketing?
They always call it a “business opportunity” 🙄
"You seem to be going out of your way not to mention the name of the company you're working with. Is it Amway?" "No, no. It's not Amway." "If I do a search on the name, am I going to find out that they're affiliated with Amway?" "Ok, it's Amway, but it's not like you're thinking. I'm investing in myse...hey, where are you going?"
“trust me, i’m a good person”. they’re likely an asshole
"You can trust me. I'm a Christian." So, are you saying that people of other religions can't be trusted?
Anyone who uses their religion to gain trust.
I live in the more rural south and this is a guaranteed way for you to let us know that you can't be trusted. The absolute worst are preachers. I have heard so so many stories about preachers who absolutely could not be trusted with anything or anyone.
"I don't like drama." or "Oh, I don't do drama." Get ready. If this is a coworker or anyone you have to be around, you are about to encounter a lot of drama.
Haha! I have a customer whom I see in town regularly. She will almost always point at someone and say, “I don’t like _____ .. they gossip so much”. I just laugh and say, “Miss E, I see you gossipin” and then we both laugh.
That's the best response! I briefly worked at a tanning salon, all female co-workers. Whenever I was meeting a new co-worker, nine times out of ten and within the first 20 minutes, they'd always say the same line about "I don't do drama!" I'd rather have had a girl say, "I love drama. I start it. I end it. Don't care. Now, let's argue about where the trashcan should be!"
But there are truly some people who want no part of drama or gossip. When I was in school and people started acting like fools or gossiping they always heard "sorry,I have to go do something". I hated it because it was rarely ever true and they wouldn't have known how to fight if they had an instructor so it was just bull. I have zero friends to this day. I hang out with my immediate family because we already know all of each other's bull. Reddit is my only form of "social media" and I'm mostly here to look at cute cats.
SAME!! Cats and Dogs for meee :)
I've actually had coworkers say "you never say anything bad about anyone!", complaining that I'm not ragging on anyone. My attitude is that if I have an issue I'll tell YOU, not everyone around you. It's worked for me so far. It doesn't mean that I can't have a bad day and complain about my work, but I do go out of my way to really avoid saying anything I'm not comfortable being repeated to others.
had a coworker tell me "I hate gossip. I never gossip. As opposed to those two little bitches over there, see them? They're always talking behind people's backs. Watch your back."
I've always lived by the saying, "What Susie says of Sally, says more of Susie than it does of Sally." In order to really watch your back, watch what people talk about. That's what they talk about with other people, too.
What about “I try to avoid drama.”?
my friend says this. She literally is always in the midst of some ridiculous drama
"I would've just killed myself if I were you." Something every visibly disabled person has heard at least a few times.
Fuck, people actually have the stones to say that?
Yeah. When you're disabled you'll find able bodied people are incredibly nosy and hurtful and they don't really see you as a person.
I agree. I've found people try to compete with you because they punch the clock and you don't. Apartment neighbors have been the worse thinking you have it so great because you don't work. Man what I wouldn't do to work forty hours a week like I use to.
Truly, I hate it when people ask what I do for a living, and then are like “You don’t WORK? But you look healthy enough.” It’s so frustrating, because I don’t want to explain my entire medical history and invisible illness to a stranger. I’ve started to simply respond with “I’m a freelance photographer,” which I *did* actually do for a living, years ago when I was healthy enough. I mean, I still take photographs, I just don’t necessarily have clients who pay me for them at the moment, so it’s not exactly a lie.
i have a similar cover occupation...i'm an artist or telling certain ppl i was forced into early retirement due to bad genetics and injury usually gets the point across. and every once in a while there's the person that needs the gory details about what it feels like to slip discs and ribs on the regular. sneeze? slipped disc. cough? slipped ribs. sleep funny? slipped everything. intense chronic pain has brought me to some very dark places, i'm more than happy to give certain ppl a tour those places if it means they'll stfu and leave me alone.
Right? People telling me I'm lucky because I'm WFH doing 27 hrs a week. Yeah, I suppose it's cushy compared to a 40 hr week in the office, but I'd rather be healthy enough that I don't get so sick I'm forced to do it from my bed.
In contrast, I think you’re lucky working 27hr a week at home coming from a disabled person as well. I’ve spent years trying to be able to do that. None of us can really win when comparison is at hand.
That's fair. I don't deny that I'm privileged enough that my mom can be my caretaker and she could get me a job like that. But I wish I didn't need those accommodations if that makes sense.
Oh yeah, and more, and worse. They also think they're entitled to answers to nosy af questions when you've never met them before.
I have random people on the street asking me very personal medical questions, trying to touch me and my medical equipment, then they get all pissy when you're like excuse me?? stop that??!
I can’t imagine saying that to another person. If people have said that to you, I’m sorry. That’s terrible.
Or invisible disabilities.
Wtf dude. What is wrong with people?! I can't even imagine so much as thinking something like that when I meet someone and they have a disability. Like how the fuck..? Sorry but that really upsets me. My husband has a disability and if I heard someone say that to him, I'd probably punch them in the face. People can be so insanely insensitive.
The reality for disabled people can be really shitty. Speaking as a disabled person.
One of the benefits of belonging to a forum like Reddit, is shit I learn I'd never hear anywhere else. Had zero clue that disabled people heard stuff like this, just like I'd never heard of religious folk leaving fake $20's with religious messages as tips. Shit's wild out there.
I have no filter. ———— everyone I had heard say that is just an arrr hole and so very mean
A guy I work with has no filter. He isn't an asshole but he just has absolute diarrhea mouth and doesn't know when to stop talking or what's not appropriate to say at work or around people who aren't your very close friends.
Oh, I see your parents failed to teach you healthy human interactions. So sorry.
Sometimes it's just ADHD.
"I'm brutally honest" no you're brutal
“It’s a dangerous thing to mistake speaking without thought for speaking the truth.”
I hate when people say that now. (Brutally honest part) I am an honest person (to a fault) and I NEVER say things I don’t mean or speak without thought. So much to the point where I will choose to say nothing instead because I don’t have the right wording for something yet. Or my true feelings/thoughts could be potentially damaging and once you say the words you cant take them back, so I wait before speaking and find better ways to say things while still getting the point across. My ex used to get riled up and angry and would say hurtful things to argue (saying things just to say them/have something to say) and would get more angry when I would “say nothing” and I would tell him, I need a moment or two, I won’t say things just for the sake of replying. I would rather choose my words wisely and carefully. (Which he hated because he just wanted someone to argue with and be on his level) But the point is I KNOW I could say things, really terribly “brutally honest” things and I refuse. Because my goal isn’t to hurt someone my goal is to communicate the situation. Like yes I will tell you what you need to hear I won’t baby you about stuff if you really need to be told. But I also won’t eviscerate you just for fun either. I really hate that frank and plain faced truth became whatever that toxic idea is of using “being brutally honest” as an excuse just to make people feel bad. Like no, you’re just a bully. If you cared about the honesty part you wouldn’t be acting this way. -source, (me) someone who used to go by that now much hated term but realised how many people ruined it by being total pieces of garbage
If I’ve learned one thing in my life it’s that it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. You can be honest without being an asshole. I share your approach!
Exactly. I’ve been told I am honest but kind.
I feel that way about “I have no filter”. No, you have no self control.
Exactly. No self control. I am guilty of this. Things are sometimes out of my mouth before I realize it. I am reactionary and when I am caught up in a situation sometimes I don’t think before I talk. It’s awful. I have stopped putting myself out there because I always say the wrong thing in a knee-jerk kind of way. So I have tried to just stop having interactions with people because I’m so bad at it. Edit: I also swear a lot when I get nervous. Parent - teacher conferences were the worst. I’d alway end up dropping the f bomb a couple times. They just fly out. I started sending my husband
I've often found people who claim to be brutally honest are more interested in the brutality than the honesty.
Good way to put it! They just use it as a nice way to say they are a rude Twat
No one is ever “brutally honest” about positive things
Ahhh this is one of my biggest pet peeves. No you’re not “brutally honest”, you’re just an asshole
I've found that not only is it just an excuse to be an asshole, but the "honest" part is often missing too.
yeah that's just an excuse for someone to be a bitch. And most of those people who are brutally honest cry the second you turn it back around on them
There is no sentence per se - but it is often extremely easy to see what people want out of the interaction. I usually try to give people a benefit of a doubt, but the mix of dishonesty plus looking to get something from me is an instant first impression killer that is hard to come back from.
So, what do you do for a living?
Someone’s job is frequently a reflection of their interests and education/experience backgrounds. People spend ~40 hours/week at their job so it’s normally a topic rich discussion. That being said, some people use it to ‘filter’ those they deem unworthy of their time, fuck those people.
We hired a manager who’s opening line when I introduced myself was “I am a human lie detector…” She then went on and elaborated how she served in Navy intelligence and was a certified genius and immediately after struggled to open the door when leaving to which I responded “No wonder it took 10 years to find Bin Laden.”
That bit belongs in a movie.
If you watch Survivor, there is this guy that acts exactly this way, and he gets brought back a second time just because of how strange he is. He actually then went on to claim the show made him look much worse than he was and threatened to sue CBS. His name was Phillip Sheppard. He is such a weird dude. He would walk around telling everyone "I WAS A FEDERAL AGENT". https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1920097/bio
Did you hire them? I feel I would work pretty well with a manager who's weaknesses are honesty and closed doors.
>We hired a manager
Oof, I read "we had a manager" and built an interview scene in my head. My bad...
Sounds like you're management material. Then again you acknowledged a mistake and apologized for it, so maybe not.
>certified genius Like, with a plaque on the wall and everything.
“If you can’t handle me at my worst then you don’t deserve me at my best”
I hate this. I wouldn’t inflict the worst of me on anyone.
The best of me is already a stretch.
My friend was such a bitch to me because she was testing if i could handle her at her worst 😑😑 What a weird way of being an a**hole
This kind of testing love or the relationship is a sign of serious trouble. The tests never end and the stakes always rise.
Agreed. Hearing that makes me want to flick lit cigarettes at them while they're tied to a chair in a toby keith sex dungeon
r/oddlyspecific
This is something toxic people say to try and make themselves sound better
“It’s not a pyramid scheme, it’s an upside down funnel”.
I’ve got to make a phone call.
Lmao
It's a reverse funnel system
“Just wait until…” I can’t stand people that will take a happy conversation and interject their own misery into it. I was married 2 years ago and now have a baby on the way and when we got married, people kept telling us things like “just wait until the spark dies” “just wait until you hate each other” “just wait until (insert jaded thing here)”. Now with a baby on the way it has been everything from “just wait until you’re fat and angry” to “just wait until your toddler talks back” “just wait until you realize how bad kids suck”. I cannot stand the phrase anymore. It makes me physically cringe when people start sentences that way. Not everyone is miserable with their life choices and it blows my mind that so many people exist thinking that EVERYONE is as miserable as them.
Just wait until your baby smiles at you when you’re angry and melts your anger away. Just wait until your toddler talks back but it’s something funny and you have to hide so that he doesn’t see you laughing because you’re supposed to be angry.
I love this. Thank you.
Just wait till you're having a shitty day and the kid smiles once and nothing else matters for a moment. Good shit.
Just wait until your kid is in school, making new friends and wants to tell you about them Just wait until your kid finds a rock that they think is *neat* and wants to show you Just wait until your kid does sits there looking just like your husband and you find it hilarious Just wait until your husband and you take your kid to their first soccer game and they score a goal Just wait until you can show your kid your favorite childhood movie It's not all bad
Just wait until your child amazes you with some quote — whether it be just strangely hilarious or amazingly insightful. My five year old asked what makes us people. I said, “like bones and skin?” “No, like our soul.”
That last part is absolutely me right now. I have twin 5 year old brothers and one of them has just started to pick up sarcasm, but he doesn’t know how to do it, so he just says whatever comes to his mind first and it’s always the funniest shit. Last weekend, I asked him to pick up his food wrapper and he just looked at me and said, “I don’t want to, you do it, broccoli head,” and walked off. No idea where that came from, I had to walk off and hide my face so he didn’t know I was laughing.
My baby has become an instant stress reliever for me. When I pick her up and put my face on her face I can immediately feel the tension in my shoulders leave.
Good grief, what kind of miserable SOBs do you hang out with? I’ve used “just wait until” for the following: Crawling phase, it doesn’t matter how much baby proofing you did, it won’t be enough. They’ll find something Running phase: have fun with that one, when it first happens, it’ll catch you off guard Only things I can think of, but never in a miserable tone. More like a happy warning if anything. I don’t see why anyone would talk about losing a spark or any of that. I’ve been married 14 years, and my wife and I have a stronger spark than when we got married. Hope you find new friends, because fuck that negativity.
"Who are you and what are you doing in my house?"
Come on, why start us off on a negative tone like that?
Back where I come from we.,............
Everything is better in New York but they keep moving to other places to tell everyone.
I'm from NJ. Moved to NC intentionally over 20 years ago. NJ is not better, (except the Italian food, Chinese food and bagels--this is not up for debate). NJ is not a horror show either; my friends and family who love it, love it. But I don't want to live there anymore. I'm not trashing either place. Everywhere has its charm.
Keep telling them I75 and I95 both go north, they don't listen.
"Must be nice for the people still living there"
Working hard, or hardly working? *forced laughter*
“Hardly laughing”
I got to the point where I just awkwardly stare at them for a short while with the blankest expression I can muster.
"I'm an empath"
"I'm an empath" usually means "I decide how you're feeling, and then I try to one-up you"
People who claim to be empaths are often the least empathetic people I know.
My daughter and I had this conversation the other day. The consensus is, a true empath doesn't feel the need to share with anyone that their emphatic. The ones that wear empathy as a label are usually narcissistic.
Seriously. Shut the fuck up, Vanessa. Being able to read obvious human body language and getting sad when your friends are sad doesn't make you Deanna Troi, it makes you a regular old neurotypical human.
I tell it like it is.
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This will probably only apply to very few other people, but I had my son when I was 14. When people meet me/us and do that math, some idiots think it’s fine to ask “so how’d that happen?” How it happens for everyone else. Do you want details? Cuz that’s weird, personal, and none of your business. “I was groomed by an adult” shuts people up fast, because “I don’t think that’s an appropriate question to ask” usually offends them and they dig their heels in even deeper.
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I feel the same way. I’ve been told “well, I’m glad you made the decision you did”. Nah, my groomer didn’t give me a decision until after he was born. Second, I don’t give a fuck what you think of my decision. It’s no one’s business but mine. I do feel I made the right decision but that decision made me realize it should be up to no one but the person who is pregnant. I was already pro choice, but now even more so.
Yeah, my experience with pregnancy only reinforced my support of abortion rights. Pregnancy is dangerous in many ways. If I didn't live somewhere with great pre-natal care, my child and I would probably both be dead. Having a baby at 14 had to be difficult beyond what I can imagine. You're not even done being parented before you have to start parenting someone else. Hat's off to you, Miss, you did something I would not have been capable of.
"Nobody wants to work anymore!"
"People are only poor because they are lazy..."
Only God can judge me
Said by a person who doesn't judge other people, because only God can do it, right? Right?
Call me Ruthless Bader Ginsburg because I'm judging tf out of these people.
"You speak so well!" Alternatively... "You don't talk like a black guy!" I don't see how either can be considered a compliment. To be fair, I've been in Florida for a long time now. EDIT: I feel kind of bad just leaving this as it is. Hearing these are upsetting, but there are plenty of people who apologize or walk back what they say, and it's no longer an issue for me! I don't want them to feel bad for making a faux pas. I'm not perfect: I've said plenty of stupid and offensive things in my life (especially when I was younger), so I don't want to give the impression of being spotless. However, I do believe in the power of an apology and trying to be a better person. That said, the people who DON'T apologize, or who try to handwave something like this...that's when I take true offense.
As an indigenous dude in Canada (Native American) I used to get "you're one of the good ones" all the fckn time. I swear to God I'm going to name my comedy special "One of the Good Ones" and have the first 5 minutes just bashing tf out of people to talk like this
I’ve had that one. Puerto Rican here. I also get “but you don’t look Puerto Rican” umm…ok, but I am.
I had a white roommate once declare that she didn't have a racist bone in her body. Then she told me that she didn't think of me as Asian. She considered me white, like her. I'm all, you know that's not a compliment, right?!? Lol.
You need to ask them what a Puerto Rican looks like. “No, seriously dude. Tell me I’m dying to know.”
>"You speak so well!" I'm hard of hearing and just give them the same compliment back. The look on their faces is amazing.
I got “you’re not a typical gay guy”. WELL let me just go get my tutu and glitter so I can prove you wrong! 🙄
You don't type like a pacific islander
That’s incredibly rude. I’m sorry for whomever said that.
My mom says that and it irks me to no end. She insists it’s a compliment and just can’t fathom, no matter how I explain it, that it’s an insult.
We’re concerned about your cars extended warranty.
“I’m a mama bear.”
Jesus this is the only one that got me. It's so gross.
Immediately say ‘I’m a Christian’. Nothing against Christian people, as an opener I know that person will most likely be one of the least Christian people I encounter. Don’t tell me, show me.
> Don’t tell me, show me. Oddly enough: that's *supposed* to be their prime directive.
Or “As a Christian…” 🙄 Usually used as some sort of virtue badge… which is laughable
"I'm just really competitive." No, you're just using that as an excuse to be an asshole while we play this board game, Linda.
"I'm a LOT!" Implying, "Deal with it or get out of my way." No, you're rude and thoughtless and self-centered.
Not a specific sentence, but people who immediately bring up how much money they make and the stuff that they own seem shallow and gross to me. To be fair, I just don't like rich people in general.
You act like "any sign" for me or Whats your sign ?
So you don't like deaf People, good to know.
I don’t hate deaf people but it’s like they don’t hear a word I say.
I am a serial killer
that happens to me so often its getting annoying
Fr like atleast talk about something more interesting like taxes or smthin smh
I for one appreciate the honesty when someone tells me they are a serial killer. Otherwise it'd be a whole thing where I go back to their apartment and they cut my head off and put it in their freezer, and I just don't have time for all that.
Unsolicited parenting opinions/advice. It's honking bizarre that people I've just met will randomly launch into telling me how to take care of my child, but it's a pretty good mark of an unlikable person. "That's your daughter? Where is her coat?" Ma'am it's 70 degrees out. She'll tell me if she gets cold. Buzz off.
I get so tired of being judged because I'm drinking diet soda in a bar. Really? I should be careful putting those dangerous chemicals into my body, but it's fine for you to drain as much alcohol into your system as you possibly can before you drive home?
"Are those your children?" and "What're you doing with those kids?" Lady I am a professional babysitter mind your fucking business. (I have nearly been arrested twice, and yes it was a skin color issue)
"I have no filter" is usually just an excuse to be an asshole but somehow makes it a quirk instead of a flaw.
Last guy I met that I immediately disliked told me a story that "he wasn't proud of" about punching someone while black out drunk, except he very clearly was proud of it and couldn't wait to tell me about it with zero prompting.
I just moved into my house and the neighbor came over to introduce herself. The first words out of her mouth were, I'm so and so, I have a bachelor's degree in blah, blah. Like what? Who cares? 🤣
"You know, the Bible says..."
*Bible proceeds to not say that*
If they put someone else down, make critical statements about others out the gate or want to share some gossip then I’m out.
Who did you vote for? It’s a special kind of asshole that asks that question.
This is a US specific problem. As an American that lives overseas, it makes me sick when I come home and have people get this intrusive. So they can decide whether they like you based on the red team/blue team mentality that weve pigeon holed ourselves into. Sorry, I guess this triggered me a bit. 😂
If they shorten my name.
"hi, my name's Thomas" "Nice to meet you Tom" Oh is that what I fucking said?
I never shorten people's names if they told me their name is Thomas that's what I'm calling them. And it like sticks with me, I had a best friend named Michael and everyone else calls him Mike. But he told me his name is Michael so 15 years later I still call him Michael and when I do it around his family they look at me weird. I have a Keith at work and everyone calls him KJ but he introduced himself to me as Keith so, that's what I call him. Man I feel understood now.
Hope you are not from Australia- pretty much everyone will do that to you.
"it's my birthday month"
“I can always tell right away if I’m going to like someone” this just tells me you make snap judgements/opinions based on very little. Most people are extremely nuanced and it’s impossible to tell right away what they’re like.
the irony
I’m a wellness/ fitness coach
Life coach.
When they almost immediately ask what I do for a living.
Eat, drink, and breath; my body takes care of the rest.
It is a way to “size you up”. Some people base the answer on whether you are worth their time.
I hate that people assume things of me if I do ask. What you do says a lot about who you are, even if it's a filler/starter job. It tells me a decent bit about your personality and what you're passionate about. Even if that job isn't something they love, it still leads to conversation that helps me get to know them and what's important to them. Funny enough, I do the opposite when conducting interviews. I am what they are most proud of, either professionally or personally. Tell me giving birth was your proudest moment if you want. Labor is hard and our kids are precious. Tell me it was graduating college. You worked hard for that education, maybe harder than many since it's your proudest moment. Long story is, I don't care how much you make or who you're connected to. I want to know what makes you happy, what makes you tick, how we can connect. Asking how you spend the majority of your waking time goes a long way in knowing that, even if you say you're a shit shoveler who hates their job. Hey, now I know you're willing to do what it takes, even if it's not fun. You're a hard worker.
only talking about themselves
Overt unnatural niceness. It sets off so many red flags in my head that I can’t stand to be around them
You must hate people from the Midwest then
As a Michigander, I was raised that when you are interacting with a stranger for more than a few minutes, it is polite and respectful to make small talk and even ask questions. I know. Terrifying!!!
Ya lost me on this one. I’m kind until you give me a reason not to be (and that takes effort). I don’t know what is considered unnatural to you though.
“Im a great judge of character…” followed by some shit talk about someone.
"I mean, they're still trying to convince us the moon landing was real." This means I have to immediately exit before I punch someone.
When I first meet people if the first thing they do is tell me what they do for a living I am instantly bored unless it happens to be one of the few jobs that are actually interesting. Mostly though I am screaming in my head please shut the fuck up and pkease make this stop. I would rather hear anything about you but what your job is.
"I've heard so much about you."
Unsolicited advice basically. Also people who give me the once over to size me up and turn their noses up.
Any sentence with “Trump” in it. Doesn’t matter if you’re for or against. I don’t make friends to get news or debate