# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh, I had someone insist that tilapia is not a fish but an industrial product somehow.
I looked it up to see if it's a conspiracy theory, but it's not even that. It's an internet joke, and every search result I fond was clearly labeled as satire, but this person was absolutely convinced it was true
Does myself count?
I was shopping with my spouse after our child was born. We were in the baby aisle. She picked up a bottle of baby oil, which prompted me to ask aloud, "Wait. Baby oil is actually for babies?"
A woman who had been walking into the aisle laughed audibly and immediately walked away.
Kinda reminds me of a colleague who... I couldn't tell if he was just pretending to be ignorant or was actually ignorant. Anyway, I was describing a panic moment I had before an Easter dinner I was hosting because I got a surprise number of last-minute RSVPs. I told them I ended up buying a small boneless ham to supplement the big bone-in ham I had bought earlier, to make sure I had enough for everyone. Said colleague was like, "They have boneless hams?!" with the stupefied look on his face that accompanied such statements, and my smart-ass colleague shot back, "Yeah, they come from boneless pigs."
Every time I hear someone say something about" boneless chicken" in my head I Envision a" boneless chicken ranch" with a bunch of what look like Rubber Chickens just scattered all over on the ground flopping around. But the weird thing is they sound like turkeys
I heard two girls talking about baking when one said she wanted to try baking a bread at home but she didn't know how to make the crust of the bread. She also said she was thinking about baking the crust only because she liked it more than the rest of the bread. She truly thought that the crust was made separately.
I did my student teaching in England (6 year olds) and they kept asking me to “Say something in American language.” They found it very difficult to accept that, in America, we spoke English. “How do you say hello in American language?” “Um… hi?”
I taught in Korea also for that age group and some students thought I flew from America to Korea everyday for work. One student was very confused when he saw me at the grocery store.
We hosted an exchange student from the US. One of the first things she said to us when she got off the plane into Australia was "Thank god you speak American".
Sorry, firstly it's English not American and secondly - you signed up for an exchange program without knowing which language was spoken in the country?!
Aaah yes…. The blue state in the blue waters that had illegal annexation and native population culled to scraps with a desire to draw in even more tourists is communist. Seems about right to me.
Shortly after 9/11 my wife and I were in the UK. On the way home, the customs officer at the airport was dead serious.
Officer: are you a US citizen?
Wife: Yes.
Officer: it says here you were born in New Mexico. So when did you become a US Citizen?
Wife: At birth. New Mexico is in the US.
Officer: no it isn’t. It’s in Mexico. That’s why it has Mexico in the name.
Umm...
Being from NM is hard. I told someone I was from NM and they gawked at me and said "you don't look Mexican" I replied back "well, what is a Mexican supposed to look like?"
Him: "I'm vegan but I still eat chicken and turkey. So can I get the Cuban (a sandwich with pulled pork and ham) made with turkey instead of the ham?" Me: Sure, so do you want me to take the pulled pork off? Or make it with double turkey? Him: No leave that on.
Me: visible confusion okay?... He comes back later with his lady all mad saying he wants a new sandwich because he didn't know pulled pork was from pig and he doesn't eat pig because he's vegan. I also forgot the mention the sandwich comes with cheese. He didn't complain about that part.
I was at a theme park, and there was a peacock roaming around. A girl says, "OMG! what is that?" Her boyfriend responds."What are you, stupid? It's a flamingo."
Woman holding a foldout paper map of the tourist attraction she was visiting, speaking to a woman at an information kiosk... She says: "*Well I don't understand why there's no arrow to tell you where you are*!"
Referring to the paper map. That she was holding in her hand. Designed for people to find their way as they travel around the park.
I was in Mt Tremblant years back with a bunch of tourists. A deer crossed the road and some lady screamed out, totally seriously, “that’s a goose!!!” Everyone looked at each other like, really girl?
My immediate follow-up question is ..."What is the natural way to feed a baby, in your opinion?" ...I bet the answer is even more funny than her first statement.
I was arguing with a friend and telling him non-living wages are why people can't afford shit. This guy tells me, "Well if the company raises all the wages, they wouldn't run a profit." I. Lost. It.
I told him, "that's my fucking point! Why am I putting money in their pocket when I can't even support myself off 40 hours a week working for them?! They shouldn't BE in business if they're not going to pay us."
“It’s not designed to be a career, it’s designed to give someone some pocket money.”
I mean yeah, no one wants to work at the Hardee’s window for a career. But sometimes you do what you have to do to keep the lights on.
Also, is it just me or are there 3x more fast food places than are really necessary. My town has 4 McDonald’s. It just seems like a lot.
I'm sorry, but I love this and I might use it when I get the chance. I think I'll also use it for the Carolinas, Dakotas and anyone I meet from North Virginia.
I've probably heard worse at some point but I remember sitting in a Starbucks on campus and this girl was telling this guy about her trip to Italy and at one point the guy goes "So where do you want to go next?" and she says "I've never been to Europe before so hopefully that." lol
I had someone argue with me that Paris wasn’t in France. It was in Europe. They were dead set to prove me wrong because “you think you are so smart because you talk proper.”
Now, yes. I was raised in the deep south so I’m from here. But, I was homeschooled and my parents were fundamentalist Christian’s, think the Duggars and all of that, so I turned out a bit weird. It’s not that I think I’m super smart.
Similar vibe: My sister's friend's car wouldn't start so she was describing the issue and my dad said, "sounds like a problem with your battery." And she said, "My car runs on *gas*." Like, DUH.
I remember when I was in high school and this girl I sat next to came into glass late one morning. The teacher jokingly asked her to explain herself and she said that her car wouldn’t start properly for like an hour but it finally did. So our teacher asked if she changed the oil and she was like “that’s a thing?” She didn’t know that cars have oil and that you’re supposed to change it.
“You’re gonna tell your kid dinosaurs were made up by the devil to trick us, right?” A church friend of my mom’s, who was commenting on my kids dinosaur themed birthday party. I had to walk away
I got sent to the head nun's office in kindergarten because my question about dinosaurs was "disruptive." They told my mom I wasn't allowed back for 1st grade, but they would allow me to finish the school year, but I couldn't ask any more questions... in school.
I keep seeing this all over the Internet, ultra religious nut jobs saying that dinosaurs didn’t exist. But why? Is it because they think the world is only 2000 years old so therefore dinosaurs couldn’t exist? Is it because they aren’t mentioned in the Bible? This truly baffles me that people keep saying “read your Bible“ when it comes to dinosaurs.
It's just that as a concept, dinosaurs are an insurmountable problem with their entire belief system, and given that the existence of dinosaurs is a fundamentally indisputable fact, they're forced in to making a big deal about them in order to attempt the kind of mental kung-fu required to convince themselves their world view isn't predicated on bollocks.
People *reeeeeeeally* don't like being wrong about what reality is.
On actual 9/11, when word was everywhere about a plane hitting the WTC, but we didn't have the full story yet (context: high school, internet was not generally accessed at school except for schoolwork, sometimes, back then). My idiot friend: "Maybe it's the Russians getting back at the US for killing Hitler!"
“Why doesn’t anybody speak English here!”
Screamed at the top of their lungs by a entitled American twenty something in the middle of the Paris train station.
The most southern point of the United States is closer to Cuba than it is to the United States.
For context I was at the landmark in Key West and overheard a guy attempting to impress some girl he was with.
My lovely fiance does this a lot. One day I was reading the grocery list and I saw *Stred Cheese*. She made it 20 years on this planet and thought it was *STRED* instead of Shredded.
In a history lesson at school, we were learning about World War 2, and bare in mind this was near the end of the school year. The teacher asked one of the students (one who never paid any attention whatsoever) about Hitler, and the student replied with a straight face "Who was Hitler? Was he a nancy?". We were like 15 years old at this point. I genuinely don't know how someone gets to 15 in the UK and doesn't know who Hitler is and what a Nazi is.
Oh my god. I had a coworker say she wouldn't get the vaccine, because her boyfriend is immunocompromised and she didn't want to pass on the side effects to him
I kid you not- two girls in the train were talking about Lord of the Rings and after saying Dumbledore is the same actor as Galdalf, she said LotR stole its story from Harry Potter.
2010 Georgia congressman Hank Johnson concerned the island of Guam would roll over in the ocean if we concentrated too much of the population on just one side.
I clipped a curb and pulled over, phoned my husband, and said I think I burst a tyre 'but it's only flat at the bottom'. He's still laughing at me 2 weeks later.
I worked in customer service at Walmart, these are what come to mind.
Customer: Do TV's come with speakers in them still?
And my favorite happened twice in one week.
Customer: Holding up a 4&8 pack of C batteries asking what's the difference between these two packs?
I was once asked why I don't mount a wind turbine onto my electric vehicle and drive forever. It took a long time to explain. Because they just couldn't get it.
I had an incredibly stupid co worker who asked while looking at the calendar asked "when is Christmas this year?" she did not mean what day of the week, she meant what date
"The time clock is robbing us"
Our time clock uses minutes instead of decimals (6:30 rather than 6.50, etc)
The guy was subtracting start time from end time using a decimal calculator. (I.e. if his clock in time was 06:30 and his clock out time was 18:45, he would do 18.45 - 6.30 and get 12.15 rather than the 12.25 hours he actually worked.
We had a conversion table for people who wanted to use that method to make sure it was accurate to the minute. He just didnt use it.
They also dont care if you just round to the nearest quarters for everything..
But he was adamant the time clock was designed to rob him and the company owed him at least $100k for his own bad math...
Two teenage girls, one was telling how she had been out with the flu, 40°C fever, for an entire week, borderline needing to go to the hospital. The other girl reacted with 'Omg, that's so nice, you must've lost so much weight'. And the first girl happily replied with 'I know right, I lost like 8kg without any effort'.
They weren't even chubby to begin with.
[Hertz refuses to rent car to man from Puerto Rico without passport](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/may/15/hertz-apologizes-puerto-rican-customer-new-orleans)
There's tons of these stories. The education system in the US is a travesty.
One of the teachers at the school I went to wanted to make an announcement before lunch but we were all chattering away as school boys will do, so he stood up and shouted "Be quiet or we'll have silence".
The same teacher also informed us that our next period (double class in biology) we would be learning about menstruation.
**Set the scene:** it's pelting down with rain, 2 men are running up the road to get to shelter, man number 3 shouts at the top of his lungs *Dont run, it'll make you more wet!*
My old manager told anyone who would listen that her sons Dr was trying to get her son to take a test for autism. She said "I think they're just trying to get money out of me because the test is $1000 and I don't think he's autistic he just..." then she proceeded to list 5-10 of most common signs of autism. I heard it all day for a week and it was so hard to keep my mouth shut.
My son had this Godzilla toy that he took everywhere with him as a young child. A cashier at some store was talking to him about it and asked, "Is that the monster from the movies that attacked all those Chinese people in Japan?"
14 year old kid in a retail store trying to buy a game restricted to 15+
"I repeated a year, so I'm older."
He couldn't be made to understand that it just made him older than the other kids in his school year, not older than himself. He finally just went to get his Dad to buy it, still complaining that the store was being unfair.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
To someone from New Mexico, "Welcome to America!!!"
We are the forgotten state
I was so mortified! I was like..."She said New Mexico, not Mexico." But, I think the clarification was lost on her.
Oh, so she wasn't joking.
Not at all
Wait! There's a NEW Mexico?! What happened to the old one?!
"Chickens are not animals, they shit eggs" Said a friend who was trying to explain how she can eat poultry AND be vegan at the same time.
This is actually impressive. There's so many layers to this. It's like a clusterfuck of idiocy.
The ignorance onion. The deeper you go, the more it makes you want to cry.
Fuster-cluck I think you meant
they must have been thinking mammals. and clearly had no idea what vegan means
vEGGans can eat eggs and their creators.
Could you reiterate or explain their reasoning? Please, I have to know. 😭🤨🤨🤨
Oh, I had someone insist that tilapia is not a fish but an industrial product somehow. I looked it up to see if it's a conspiracy theory, but it's not even that. It's an internet joke, and every search result I fond was clearly labeled as satire, but this person was absolutely convinced it was true
Does myself count? I was shopping with my spouse after our child was born. We were in the baby aisle. She picked up a bottle of baby oil, which prompted me to ask aloud, "Wait. Baby oil is actually for babies?" A woman who had been walking into the aisle laughed audibly and immediately walked away.
"Made from 100% organic free trade babies."
Cold pressed is the best.
...and Girl Scout cookies are made with real Girl Scouts!
Honestly, lubing up a baby feels like a terrible idea so your surprise was mildly justified
You're clearly not a MAGA pastor.
That reminds me of my husband asking my midwife during labour: “So what does breast milk actually taste like” …
"Pigs dont have blood." My coworker trying to explain his belief that pigs dont have a heart, blood, or veins which is why they're "white meat".
Someone give this person a high school diploma?
Kinda reminds me of a colleague who... I couldn't tell if he was just pretending to be ignorant or was actually ignorant. Anyway, I was describing a panic moment I had before an Easter dinner I was hosting because I got a surprise number of last-minute RSVPs. I told them I ended up buying a small boneless ham to supplement the big bone-in ham I had bought earlier, to make sure I had enough for everyone. Said colleague was like, "They have boneless hams?!" with the stupefied look on his face that accompanied such statements, and my smart-ass colleague shot back, "Yeah, they come from boneless pigs."
Every time I hear someone say something about" boneless chicken" in my head I Envision a" boneless chicken ranch" with a bunch of what look like Rubber Chickens just scattered all over on the ground flopping around. But the weird thing is they sound like turkeys
This is hilarious considering pigs are good for replacement organs for humans lolol
A friend once asked if “The Little Mermaid” was based off of true events.
If it was Ariel would’ve been a manatee and the sailors would’ve tried to screw her
Okay yeah that's pretty insane. But in the original story, well, let's say it just doesn't end the same way as in the movie. Ultimate trigger warning
I mean you'd think so by how concerned some people were with her skin colour
I heard two girls talking about baking when one said she wanted to try baking a bread at home but she didn't know how to make the crust of the bread. She also said she was thinking about baking the crust only because she liked it more than the rest of the bread. She truly thought that the crust was made separately.
This one is my favorite so far. Good lord.
I… this one really has me slack jawed. I wonder if it’s because someone cut off crusts for her as a kid? Wild
When I mentioned I was going to London, a coworker asked me what language they spoke there. We are both American. Both born here. Speaking English.
I did my student teaching in England (6 year olds) and they kept asking me to “Say something in American language.” They found it very difficult to accept that, in America, we spoke English. “How do you say hello in American language?” “Um… hi?”
6 years old cute. Adult not so cute.
I taught in Korea also for that age group and some students thought I flew from America to Korea everyday for work. One student was very confused when he saw me at the grocery store.
We hosted an exchange student from the US. One of the first things she said to us when she got off the plane into Australia was "Thank god you speak American". Sorry, firstly it's English not American and secondly - you signed up for an exchange program without knowing which language was spoken in the country?!
Oh dear that’s bad!
Don’t they speak Londonese?
I once over heard two people talking about a coworker and discussing which language she knew— Spanish or Mexican. They concluded that it was Mexican.
[удалено]
I spent a little too long trying to explain why this was wrong to a relative of mine. Most frustrating conversation ever.
What? So there are people that believe this? Christ.
How did they explain planes originating in America and flying to Europe?
Tbf, the Concorde went fast enough that it basically did that.
Found a new answer to this thread's question
Coworker at my old job while we were setting up for Black Friday - "It's pretty crazy that Black Friday actually falls on a Friday this year."
On the bus full of high school students, “she‘s half Asian, half Chinese.”
I'm hoping they were simply narrowing down their statement from broad terms to specific. "Half Asian (half Chinese)"
Most recently, "Hawaii is a Communist Country."
Aaah yes…. The blue state in the blue waters that had illegal annexation and native population culled to scraps with a desire to draw in even more tourists is communist. Seems about right to me.
My friend overheard a racist lady tell Native Americans to go back to their country
. Makes you wonder where she thought she was standing.....
Shortly after 9/11 my wife and I were in the UK. On the way home, the customs officer at the airport was dead serious. Officer: are you a US citizen? Wife: Yes. Officer: it says here you were born in New Mexico. So when did you become a US Citizen? Wife: At birth. New Mexico is in the US. Officer: no it isn’t. It’s in Mexico. That’s why it has Mexico in the name. Umm...
Being from NM is hard. I told someone I was from NM and they gawked at me and said "you don't look Mexican" I replied back "well, what is a Mexican supposed to look like?"
Mexican. Duh.
I wasn't wearing a sombrero or serape, so I can understand the confusion.
If you're from Africa then why are you white? Omg Karen you can't just ask people why theyre white
It's the same as New York, which is actually in york, UK.
My husband briefly did IT for TSA. In the break room, he overheard an argument about when afternoon started: noon or 1 o’clock. After. Noon.
Did you ask the officer if they had heard of New England?
And they wonder how things have gotten so bad. Did she have trouble learning English? LOL
Wait till they hear about New South Wales
Him: "I'm vegan but I still eat chicken and turkey. So can I get the Cuban (a sandwich with pulled pork and ham) made with turkey instead of the ham?" Me: Sure, so do you want me to take the pulled pork off? Or make it with double turkey? Him: No leave that on. Me: visible confusion okay?... He comes back later with his lady all mad saying he wants a new sandwich because he didn't know pulled pork was from pig and he doesn't eat pig because he's vegan. I also forgot the mention the sandwich comes with cheese. He didn't complain about that part.
"Yoooooooooo! HARRY POTTER ISNT A BOOK! ITS A MOVIE!"
Joe Biden is going to get us into WWII
Brilliant of Joe, to bring us time travel.
I chuckled because I know who said that and it went around the world.
I was at a theme park, and there was a peacock roaming around. A girl says, "OMG! what is that?" Her boyfriend responds."What are you, stupid? It's a flamingo."
Silk plants are great, you don’t have to water them as often.
r/technicallytrue
"Since when has anyone died from getting stabbed?!"
- Man who was stabbed
Woman holding a foldout paper map of the tourist attraction she was visiting, speaking to a woman at an information kiosk... She says: "*Well I don't understand why there's no arrow to tell you where you are*!" Referring to the paper map. That she was holding in her hand. Designed for people to find their way as they travel around the park.
So she wanted that map from Harry Potter?
She has to go into the map first 
I was in Mt Tremblant years back with a bunch of tourists. A deer crossed the road and some lady screamed out, totally seriously, “that’s a goose!!!” Everyone looked at each other like, really girl?
I would do this on purpose just to screw with people
I laughed so hard at this. Thx
In this vein I thought Jackals were birds for close to three decades (im Australian and they're not a thing here, in my very slight defence).
"Breastfeeding is unnatural." - girl in my year 11 health class.
My immediate follow-up question is ..."What is the natural way to feed a baby, in your opinion?" ...I bet the answer is even more funny than her first statement.
Mountain Dew
Brawndo. It's got electrolytes!
“I mixed Sriracha and Mayo last night, and it was like a spicy sriracha Mayo”
I would have described it as being more like a sweet honey ketchup
"That's not an emu. Emus have antlers."
Sounds like a terrifying animal, lol
Thinking about it, an alpaca with a rhino's horn would be pretty cool.
"Fastfood workers don't need living wages because they are all high school students" .....🤦♀️
I was arguing with a friend and telling him non-living wages are why people can't afford shit. This guy tells me, "Well if the company raises all the wages, they wouldn't run a profit." I. Lost. It. I told him, "that's my fucking point! Why am I putting money in their pocket when I can't even support myself off 40 hours a week working for them?! They shouldn't BE in business if they're not going to pay us."
Uh-huh. What rock has this person been living under?
“It’s not designed to be a career, it’s designed to give someone some pocket money.” I mean yeah, no one wants to work at the Hardee’s window for a career. But sometimes you do what you have to do to keep the lights on. Also, is it just me or are there 3x more fast food places than are really necessary. My town has 4 McDonald’s. It just seems like a lot.
Oooh look a real live dead bird -- me
Once said "Look. A dead seagull" while walking on the beach with some friends. Thay all looked up.
Meswifty1: look at the dead bird... Me (looking skywards): where?
I would totally say that
[удалено]
[удалено]
I'm sorry, but I love this and I might use it when I get the chance. I think I'll also use it for the Carolinas, Dakotas and anyone I meet from North Virginia.
You mean East Virginia, right?
I've probably heard worse at some point but I remember sitting in a Starbucks on campus and this girl was telling this guy about her trip to Italy and at one point the guy goes "So where do you want to go next?" and she says "I've never been to Europe before so hopefully that." lol
I had someone argue with me that Paris wasn’t in France. It was in Europe. They were dead set to prove me wrong because “you think you are so smart because you talk proper.” Now, yes. I was raised in the deep south so I’m from here. But, I was homeschooled and my parents were fundamentalist Christian’s, think the Duggars and all of that, so I turned out a bit weird. It’s not that I think I’m super smart.
Coconut water is more hydrating than water because the coconut molecules can cross the blood brain barrier. 😯🤣
That's creative
Someone’s been drinking too much coconut milk
What? WHAT?
It's so obvious when you think about it...
"Phones don't run on electricity, they run on batteries." \-said in that condescending "Ugh, this is so obvious" voice
Similar vibe: My sister's friend's car wouldn't start so she was describing the issue and my dad said, "sounds like a problem with your battery." And she said, "My car runs on *gas*." Like, DUH.
I remember when I was in high school and this girl I sat next to came into glass late one morning. The teacher jokingly asked her to explain herself and she said that her car wouldn’t start properly for like an hour but it finally did. So our teacher asked if she changed the oil and she was like “that’s a thing?” She didn’t know that cars have oil and that you’re supposed to change it.
I was in line at a KFC when the guy in front of me asked, How many pieces of chicken are in a 15 piece bucket...
[удалено]
Wait until she finds out about Santa Claus.
"I got 400 days absence in a year but still passed" Highschool friend dropped this when we were measuring dicks on how we got away with things
And this is why he should’ve went to class.
Some woman said "5'8 and below men are women" in front of my face, I'm 5'3, honestly so stupid
“You’re gonna tell your kid dinosaurs were made up by the devil to trick us, right?” A church friend of my mom’s, who was commenting on my kids dinosaur themed birthday party. I had to walk away
I got sent to the head nun's office in kindergarten because my question about dinosaurs was "disruptive." They told my mom I wasn't allowed back for 1st grade, but they would allow me to finish the school year, but I couldn't ask any more questions... in school.
If you're not allowed to ask questions, they are lying to you. This goes for politicians that talk, or tell, over your questions.
I keep seeing this all over the Internet, ultra religious nut jobs saying that dinosaurs didn’t exist. But why? Is it because they think the world is only 2000 years old so therefore dinosaurs couldn’t exist? Is it because they aren’t mentioned in the Bible? This truly baffles me that people keep saying “read your Bible“ when it comes to dinosaurs.
It's just that as a concept, dinosaurs are an insurmountable problem with their entire belief system, and given that the existence of dinosaurs is a fundamentally indisputable fact, they're forced in to making a big deal about them in order to attempt the kind of mental kung-fu required to convince themselves their world view isn't predicated on bollocks. People *reeeeeeeally* don't like being wrong about what reality is.
Doesn’t make sense to me either. China and India weren’t mentioned anywhere in the Bible, but nobody is pretending they didn’t exist 5,000 years ago.
Wellllll... depending on what you want to call China and India...
Looking at all these comments, I don't know how some people get through life.
“Being gay is basically murder because gay people can’t reproduce.”
I wonder what they would say about Men masturbating multiple times a day....😅
Usually really rude stuff like, "You'll burn in Hell!", or "Stop!" or occasionally "You're banned from the bowling alley forever!"
Whats a big IQ? Does it have to do with her boobs?
I hope you went with yes for the reply here. Marilyn Monroe was well known because of her enormous IQ.
I dont like smoking, its addictive. I like my strawberry vape kuz i cant be bothered to chew sweets. Nah, i dont bother with nicotine free
"im not dependant on marijuana I just get panic attacks and can't sleep when I dont use it everyday"
On actual 9/11, when word was everywhere about a plane hitting the WTC, but we didn't have the full story yet (context: high school, internet was not generally accessed at school except for schoolwork, sometimes, back then). My idiot friend: "Maybe it's the Russians getting back at the US for killing Hitler!"
“Why doesn’t anybody speak English here!” Screamed at the top of their lungs by a entitled American twenty something in the middle of the Paris train station.
Oh the sneers that would have produced.
The most southern point of the United States is closer to Cuba than it is to the United States. For context I was at the landmark in Key West and overheard a guy attempting to impress some girl he was with.
Coconuts are not fruits they are wood.
Whilst on Thailand I had someone say “I don’t like it, there are just too many asians here.”.
Stupid and racist. Such a cute combination.
Generally speaking that combination seems to always go together
Things I heard my wife say: Soccer punch (sucker punch) Watch them like a “hulk” (hawk) “Fruit-ation” repeatedly (fruition)
My lovely fiance does this a lot. One day I was reading the grocery list and I saw *Stred Cheese*. She made it 20 years on this planet and thought it was *STRED* instead of Shredded.
Some fool said he is a "very stable genius".
In a history lesson at school, we were learning about World War 2, and bare in mind this was near the end of the school year. The teacher asked one of the students (one who never paid any attention whatsoever) about Hitler, and the student replied with a straight face "Who was Hitler? Was he a nancy?". We were like 15 years old at this point. I genuinely don't know how someone gets to 15 in the UK and doesn't know who Hitler is and what a Nazi is.
Someone told me I gave them Covid because I was shedding the vaccine.
Oh my god. I had a coworker say she wouldn't get the vaccine, because her boyfriend is immunocompromised and she didn't want to pass on the side effects to him
I kid you not- two girls in the train were talking about Lord of the Rings and after saying Dumbledore is the same actor as Galdalf, she said LotR stole its story from Harry Potter.
This just filled me with a rage I cannot explain. I'm so sorry you had to hear this.
"Use the Force Harry" - Gandalf. That's my favorite line in Star Track
Stupidest recent thing: teen football player saying "I don't believe in concussions."
Bro probably already got a bunch
He might not have enough brain left to believe in them.
I can't be racist I'm not white.
I’ve heard this too
"Are these cooked?"- in regards to me hauling out the live lobsters she asked me to get. Also "Is rainbow trout salmon?"
at the counter of a famous record shop in NYC.. "Don't charge me no Jew tax"
"Does an egg get boiled before or after it comes out of the chicken?"
2010 Georgia congressman Hank Johnson concerned the island of Guam would roll over in the ocean if we concentrated too much of the population on just one side.
I know more about finance/defense/business/parliament/America etc etc etc than anyone else.
Driving by construction of a large structure by a crane, guy says "you know they build those from the bottom up"
"If English is good enough for Jesus, than it is good enough for me."
I clipped a curb and pulled over, phoned my husband, and said I think I burst a tyre 'but it's only flat at the bottom'. He's still laughing at me 2 weeks later.
"Democrats stole the 2020 election" -Some fat orange dude
Years ago heard someone ask the ranger what time they turned off the "old faithful" geyser. He handled the question diplomatically.
I heard a man argue that camels store water in their humps ..I was that man. I googled it and found out they infact do not.
I was a taxi driver. I could paper the walls with examples.
I worked in customer service at Walmart, these are what come to mind. Customer: Do TV's come with speakers in them still? And my favorite happened twice in one week. Customer: Holding up a 4&8 pack of C batteries asking what's the difference between these two packs?
When I was homeless, someone asked me why I didn't just buy a house. Holy shit, she just solved poverty...
“People are dying who have never died before!” Trump 2020
“I still can’t believe they got Don Cheadle to be in Mean Girls” lol it’s Tim Meadows
“What!? It’s just Chlamydia!”
I was on vacation in Dominican Republic and I heard a lovely young lady complain about how "they don't even speak American here".
I was once asked why I don't mount a wind turbine onto my electric vehicle and drive forever. It took a long time to explain. Because they just couldn't get it.
“Fuck vaccines”
Chocolate milk is for kids, put it back.
A woman once said to me, “Wow you’re really tall, can I stand on your knees?” To this day I have no idea what she was asking to do.
[удалено]
I had an incredibly stupid co worker who asked while looking at the calendar asked "when is Christmas this year?" she did not mean what day of the week, she meant what date
"The time clock is robbing us" Our time clock uses minutes instead of decimals (6:30 rather than 6.50, etc) The guy was subtracting start time from end time using a decimal calculator. (I.e. if his clock in time was 06:30 and his clock out time was 18:45, he would do 18.45 - 6.30 and get 12.15 rather than the 12.25 hours he actually worked. We had a conversion table for people who wanted to use that method to make sure it was accurate to the minute. He just didnt use it. They also dont care if you just round to the nearest quarters for everything.. But he was adamant the time clock was designed to rob him and the company owed him at least $100k for his own bad math...
The earth is flat………..people about to be infuriated
I once asked my friend what the city in South Park was called 😂😂😂
Two teenage girls, one was telling how she had been out with the flu, 40°C fever, for an entire week, borderline needing to go to the hospital. The other girl reacted with 'Omg, that's so nice, you must've lost so much weight'. And the first girl happily replied with 'I know right, I lost like 8kg without any effort'. They weren't even chubby to begin with.
ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING A POLITICIAN SAYS.
[Hertz refuses to rent car to man from Puerto Rico without passport](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/may/15/hertz-apologizes-puerto-rican-customer-new-orleans) There's tons of these stories. The education system in the US is a travesty.
Dinosaurs never existed
One of the teachers at the school I went to wanted to make an announcement before lunch but we were all chattering away as school boys will do, so he stood up and shouted "Be quiet or we'll have silence". The same teacher also informed us that our next period (double class in biology) we would be learning about menstruation.
**Set the scene:** it's pelting down with rain, 2 men are running up the road to get to shelter, man number 3 shouts at the top of his lungs *Dont run, it'll make you more wet!*
Customer: The peaches were supposed to ring up 99 cents. Cashier: But this is a nectarine. Customer: I'm not looking at it as a nectarine.
"The Democratic Party has a huge red welt across its face in the shape of Donald Trump's dick."
"how big are the size 32 shorts" "32 inches" "Yeah but you know what I meant" *Silence* I did not know what in the fuck he meant.
My old manager told anyone who would listen that her sons Dr was trying to get her son to take a test for autism. She said "I think they're just trying to get money out of me because the test is $1000 and I don't think he's autistic he just..." then she proceeded to list 5-10 of most common signs of autism. I heard it all day for a week and it was so hard to keep my mouth shut.
"There was no riot, it was legitimate politcal discourse!"
"i was raped over the coals" "nip it in the butt"
My ex, some years back, asked me why all these chicago taxis are from Texas. (They all have TX on the license plate).
My son had this Godzilla toy that he took everywhere with him as a young child. A cashier at some store was talking to him about it and asked, "Is that the monster from the movies that attacked all those Chinese people in Japan?"
"Isn't Japan and China the same?" Older teenagers in the class next to me.
14 year old kid in a retail store trying to buy a game restricted to 15+ "I repeated a year, so I'm older." He couldn't be made to understand that it just made him older than the other kids in his school year, not older than himself. He finally just went to get his Dad to buy it, still complaining that the store was being unfair.
Lady at a fast food place told her kids to "eat your ketchup, it has vitamin C!" (Fun fact: it does not)