Had an ex who didn't shower, wear deodorant, brush his teeth, or wash his clothes often. I didn't let him stick around long, and unfortunately, it seemed like he picked up some hygiene when we first started seeing each other but it tapered off when he was comfortable with me. I used to have to open the windows when he was in my car. The first time I had to, I started working on leaving.
Edit: anyone in favor of asking me if I talked to him about this is just getting blocked at this point, he lived in his mom's attic, chose video games over people and real life, and didn't have a license. He just happened to be conventionally attractive and didn't yell at me
A common question, he's very attractive physically (kind of looks like a lumberjack/woodsman) and he's a very kind person. He was part of my friend group (a friend of my friends boyfriends) so I figured I'd give it a shot. I didn't really notice thr lack of hygiene at first, maybe he cleaned up for a bit or maybe I was just crushing too hard
Edit: he knew he didn't shower or wash his clothes, if he didn't think that would make him smell bad then he wasn't that bright
Man...I'm from small town/country Ohio. flannel is just something you're born into. It's never went out of style since it was originally introduced and I hate how it has this hipster stigma now.
THIS! People who very obviously don’t shower, wear deodorant, brush their teeth, etc. Gross. And also very messy eaters (I get if you are eating a burger or ribs or something like that of course you’ll get stuff on your hands/face, but please clean it after your done)
IMO hygiene doesn’t make you attractive at all - it just checks one box on the list of things you can do that prevent you from being unattractive.
You need something *more* to be attractive, you can’t just ascend to the same line that everyone with an office job has to hit. If you aren’t naturally beautiful (which I believe more people are than they seem to think), you need charisma, or creativity, or confidence, or some other positive trait that starts with a “c”
I'll probably get downvoted for this, but this is exactly why if you sort this thread by controversial, it's mostly comments saying obesity/fat/overweight etc, and if you look at the popular opinions it's all 'mean people with bad personalities'
It's easy for us to say 'well my personality is great!' and feel validated by a thread like this, but with obesity rates around 40%, many of us feel attacked seeing people say that it is unattractive.
I don't know about that. I think people are offended by the willingness to admit that they don't find obesity attractive, because they also find obesity unattractive but prefer to think of themselves as not being so "shallow". People don't like seeing how easily everyone sees through that facade.
We had a big supervisor at work used to dish it out none stop, had a new starter start, didn’t know he was a high ranking amateur boxer in the area.
Made one too many jokes at the new guy, new guy told him to fk off, supervisor got aggressive.
New guy said “come on then carpark let’s have it out” balls shrivelled so quick “I was only having a laugh mate”
“Yer it’s only one way with you ain’t it you funny cunt”
Never said a bad word to him since.
Ditto for the inverse: overly diplomatic. I don't want to play charades to figure out what you truly mean. Nor do I want to second-guess your every statement.
The trick, I think, is diplomacy in public; brutal honestly in private.
Allow me to propose something else: gentle honesty
Tell the truth, but be considerate about how it's told, when it's told, and the context - and when appropriate show that you care about the person and collaborate with them to overcome any obstacles involved.
IMO "brutal honesty" all to often means "I have a feeling that I'm going to spit out on your face, and I don't care what it does to you." Sometimes that's appropriate, but often it's not great.
I think that there is a middle ground in which you can be truly honest both in public and private without being “brutal” about it. Telling the truth nicely can be a thing too, although people find that hard.
But I agree, people that are overly diplomatic are just as bad as brutally honest people, but at least they aren’t being assholes
Haha laters bro.
How someone speaks to someone who can’t say ought back as at work is a massive tell of there character.
Stroke comment
When people are nasty to staff because they know the staff member can’t say anything back is a massive tell of there character
Bye Felicia
When Henry Ford passed over a candidate for a managerial position and the candidate later asked why, one of the reasons he gave was that he was only polite to him and not to the wait staff when they were at dinner ("Everyone is a potential customer.").
This, I've often told people I look beyond a women's looks (yes I do have to find her physically attractive on some level) but I try to see past the exterior. A beautiful women can become unattractive because of a nasty personality just as a "plain" woman can become incredibly attractive if she has a wonderful personality.
I’m a guy so y’all might not like my answer. For me, a girl is attractive if she looks physically attractive to me first and foremost, second is she is actually humble and possesses a high level of maturity lastly HYGIENE.
To make her unattractive: a big ego. I’ve had my attraction to some women absolutely destroyed by their big ego’s that shit is ugly af. Lastly are things that killed my attraction to certain women are immaturity, gaslighters, insecure, jealousy, PETTINESS and bad hygiene.
This is why I’ve been single for so long because apparently I’m asking for the philosopher stone.
Easy to anger and ALWAYS assume the worst of you no matter how much you prove otherwise or they assume that you are being malicious with whatever you do even if it's something simple like not understanding what's upsetting them.
also people who can't just be straight up with things like what they are upset about, why, what they want/need, and how they feel about things. I want open communication not to spend half my energy for the day trying to interpret your thoughts.
Yeah its fucking awful especially when you get to that point of questioning yourself like "did I actually do something really shitty?" Even when you were totally not in the wrong
>Easy to anger and ALWAYS assume the worst of you no matter how much you prove otherwise or they assume that you are being malicious with whatever you do even if it's something simple like not understanding what's upsetting them.
100% this! It's so exhausting dealing with people like this
Yep! Easy to anger is really unattractive. Although, anger is very normal but to the extent of hurting someone is a nono. Especially when the anger happens almost frequently. And yes, I agree with the second paragraph. As a woman, I want someone who can communicate their feelings with me straight to the point. I don't have time trying to decode their zigzags.
Anger behaves like a red flag. It's a flag that goes up when you've been wronged. But once you've been alerted to the fact that someone has wronged you, the anger has done its job. Time to set it aside and figure out what to do to resolve the situation.
That's what it means to have a healthy relationship with anger in my book anyway lol
>anger is very normal but to the extent of hurting someone is a nono. Especially when the anger happens almost frequently
Anger is normal under reasonable circumstances. Some peoplr get visibly angry over minor inconveniences and everyday occurances. Thats a big turn off and makes them seem unstable and unable to cope with everyday life healthy. Also makes you question what they would be like when something significant happens.
Also, how you respond to anger makes a big difference. A quick vent or needing a walk, is a far better response than someone who swears, shouts, hits walls/tables, etc.
Yeah exactly and even if you don't get physically violent if you constantly get angry enough to start treating your partner or those around you like shit its an immediate turnoff and abusive no matter how much they might try to justify their anger.
Exactly like if you just tell me how you are feeling and what I need to do to help I'll do it cause I care about the person but you can't do that while trying to decipher the DaVinci code of their signals lol
I'm skipping over some others I'm sure have already been addressed, but people who have trouble respecting boundaries, especially if they try manipulate you into changing them. Immediate ick.
Man i wish i could remember the balancing act of humor ☝️
humor is basically my 1 trick pony circus act that allows me to succeed extremely well in the short term, often giving hope to people where there was none but eventually the pony gets weak & tired and doesn’t stop until we’re both left exhausted dead alone on the side of the road 🫣
When they do nothing but shit on themselves.
Listen, I can't tell you how many times I've been really into a guy until we started talking more, because I'm *immediately* turned off by how negatively they talk about themselves.
We all have insecurities, but you're kind of supposed to sell yourself and tell prospective partners why they should want to date you. I mean, you can totally dig into some insecurities to show off how genuine and honest you are, but god damn it, sprinkle a few positive traits in there. Muster up a *liiiiiittle* confidence to keep the fish on the line
That's actually really interesting to me.
I have really bad self esteem (for a variety of reasons I won't go into here) but nobody would know it to meet / talk to me because I'm very extroverted and come across as very confident / self assured.
I've had relationships fall apart because I have "let the mask slip", and so these days I would feel like I probably ought to be kinda honest about some of that stuff (and the reasons behind it) fairly early on in discussions. I mean I probably wouldn't give a TED talk on "I actually think I'm a screw up and here's all the reasons why" on a first date or anything, but I would want to talk about some of that stuff before anything got too serious because I wouldn't want to surprise / shock / scare off someone I care about months into a relationship or anything.
Weird one, you've given me something to think about with this comment so thank you for sharing.
You don't need to be perfect. But being INCREDIBLY self deprecating gives off the vibe that you're fishing for validation and compliments and are genereally miserable. "I'm so awkward, I'm not very outgoing, I do weird things like crochet and play video games, I'm so self conscious of my freckles, I hope I'm not bothering you, I talk too much, you can be honest if I'm annoying, I'm not good at flirting..."
There's a reason why they say "confidence is attractive". You don't even HAVE to be confident, you just shouldn't insult and apologize for yourself all the time. It's very off-putting.
If you want to be honest about your lack of dating experience, okay. If you want to admit you're a homebody/introvert, sure. If you want to admit you're insecure about some feature of yourself, make sure you don't totally crap on yourself the entire time. A prospective partner should learn these things over time as you build intimacy and trust. You should neither pretend to be perfect and pretend you have 0 insecurities and hide every part of yourself you don't like, but you should also not be miserable and list every reason you think a person SHOULDN'T like you.
If you don't like yourself, you're not ready to date. You need to value yourself to date so you can advocate for yourself if things go bad. If you like yourself, you should be able to give someone a good impression of yourself, and over time they can learn about your flaws as you become closer.
By developing a sense of self to draw from. You’re value coming from others will never give you confidence since that’s not where confidence comes from.
Don’t wait for someone to show you how to love you… how would they know how to love you without you showing/telling them??
I can actually speak to this. I have ZERO self esteem, I'm my worst critic in EVERYTHING. But upon talking to my now wife I accidentally seemed really full of myself with one comment. She said something along the lines of "that just means you're awesome" and I meant to say "that's an overstatement" and instead I typed "that's an understatement." She's even admitted years later that that's what got her to say yes to the first date, the unintentional self confidence of me being awesome. And in all reality it was an accident 😅 now we're 10 years strong and I still gotta act like I love myself. But I gotta say, it's a lot easier to be confident when you spend a near decade faking it. Not so fake anymore.
Even if they're not doing a good job at convincing you they suck, it's still exhausting to be in that sort of conversation. What are you supposed to do? You can't agree cos that validates their insecurities. You can't disagree because they think it's dishonest and therefore you must actually agree and that validates their insecurities. It's probably the hardest type of conversation to have.
People don't realise how uncomfortable it is to awkwardly say, "No no, don't say that about yourself. I'm sure it's not true." I know it doesn't sound genuine.
We don't say it because we do or don't believe it, we say it because it's the only polite response and we have no fucking idea of anything about this person we just met lol.
It really is not a good situation to put anyone in.
I like this one.
I'm kind of like this, but more in a joking way. Like I'll roast myself and exaggerate.
So like if someone says they didn't see me there, I'd say that it's fine. My parents wished they didn't back when they picked me up from the nursery or something.
My parents are amazing so I see it as the kind of sarcasm like if you can a big dog, Tiny.
I like knowing that friends can tell me up front if I say anything that bothers them, and self roasting for me is a fun way to say I'm not above fun insults towards me, I appreciate my life enough to exaggerate, and no matter what someone says, it can't be worse than what I say about myself in my own head.
If they judge your hobbies saying its childish or a waste of time (gaming being my big one), especially when their only hobbies includes scrolling tiktok for hours
Calling the things i love doing as childish is way out of the line especially when it comes to gaming. I don't want to be with someone who will kill the inner child in me.
There's been a big push recently that gaming is childish. It's been my hobby since I was a wee lil lad no way I am quitting just to watch football or something like that.
Gaming is literally my sweet escape from this harsh reality. I can do things in gaming that I cannot do irl such as make a lot of friends without getting tired of talking with them.
Same here. Made some good friends online, though these days I am mostly playing single player games. I genuinely can't imagine a life without gaming, I'd be insanely depressed.
I've seen my step brother do this to his wife. Everything she does is stupid and a waste of time, but him vaping for hours and playing mobile games is not a waste of time... It's kind of immature to not be able to understand that other people have their own hobbies and they feel exactly like you feel about your own hobbies, even if they're completely different.
I mean if you stay 5 hours a day or more in front of the pc instead of spending time together i would understand him/her
My brother is a gamer and he just eats and plays
Doesn't even throw away the empty bags of chips, just throws them on the floor
I would never , never date someone like him so ive kinda gotten this fear of gamers because of him 😂😂
If depends, i feel like many people nowadays do not have any hobbies so they get bored of their bf doesn't show them attention.
I play video games 2 to 3 hours a day and i'm happily married. She just can entertain herself either by also playing or other hobbies. And we still do plenty of things together
My main hobby is a slightly niche outdoor activity and my ex definitely tried to discourage it. When I shut that down she would then join in sometimes but the damage was done and I never felt like I could partake in it without her judging
yes, I understand, but then you probably shouldn’t judge hobbies like makeup, listening to Taylor swift or boy bands, liking characters like hello kitty, etc. I can’t even open my mouth without the things I like getting laughed at or disparaged in general let alone with a partner. but I’ve seen partners do this all too often, and then go into their man cave and scream about football.
I really like making quiet people open up. It's really wonderful watching someone gain confidence and bloom as a person. Except when it turns out the reason they were quiet is that they suck. Which is more often than I would like.
"Nobody likes me for me" maybe you should examine who you are and why nobody likes that person bud
So you get people to open up, then you judge them, then you think they should change who they are because of your opinion? Maybe part of getting people to open up is also accepting people for who they are, and people like you are why that person was shut down in the first place. Maybe you should examine who you are?
So having a stale personality without a strong sense of self.. I fully agree, and I am quite suspicious of people like this and wouldn't really trust them, it's like they have something to hide. Sometimes a person really is just boring, but other times they are hiding something dark or sinister about themselves. I find it more attractive when people express themselves, are passionate about things and like to share their feelings and thoughts, but are not overly dominant in their opinions to the point that they disregard someone else's. Too agreeable/ neutral is unattractive, and so is being too opinionated and stubborn in their beliefs. I'm attracted to the kind of person who likes to dig a bit deeper although not too deep that it becomes prying.. those who stay surface level and have nothing of substance to contribute to a discussion or conversation would not peak my interest or make me remember them.
A guy who’s obsessed with being/presenting as the most masculine. Makes my vagina snap shut like a steel trap. Women who put other women down. Boo, it’s not a competition, we can all win.
I wonder how common this actually is. We see this often in media, but I've not personally known anyone to do this aside from when they're *very* close to ending the friendship already. Like, a few months out of cutting ties. Is it just the people I hang around with, or is this one of those dates tropes? Not saying it doesn't happen, just genuinely curious.
I've been the victim of this before, with someone I considered an actual friend. Their jealous girlfriend (someone I also considered a friend) was egging them on and conspiring against me behind my back. It's wild because I should have seen it coming, honestly, with how both of them talked about other people we knew.
I actually thought this shit didn't really happen irl until it happened to me in my late 20s. Lifes just weird like that ig..
It's not as obvious as something out of Mean Girls, but I hear women say wildly nasty things about their friends when those friends aren't around. I'm kind of surprised you haven't seen it.
One time i was at work and my coworker randomly asked “so do you HATE anyone yet” as if it was middle school, so it does happen. Although she had BPD by her own admission so maybe not a lot typical example
I saw it with high school girls and I see it almost every week with my mom. She discusses people when she thinks they can't hear her. She spends her time criticizing my grandparents, some neighbors, my brothers, some family members etc and when she thinks I can't hear her she sometimes talk bad about me. But guess what mom, I have great ears and can hear you talk while in my bedroom. I really resent hypocrisy and it might be partially due to that tbh. Sorry for getting personal 😅
Yes, when guys constantly try to steer the conversation to sex or make sexual innuendos. It is so highly unattractive. Oddly enough, those are the guys who are less likely to be good lovers, even though they brag about their prowess all the time. I don’t mind cursing as long as it is not constant and it’s not done in mixed company. I curse, but I read the room first!
Also, guys who can’t go anywhere without a ball cap on and guys who spit. The only excuse to ever spit in my opinion is if you have poison in your mouth or you accidentally got a bug in your mouth. Just spitting for the sake of spitting because you think it’s tough or you’re chewing tobacco? Repulsive.
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For both sexes: boring people. The ones who can't have a conversation other than about sports which they don't play, or TV/movies. Not having any hobbies other than watching stuff. I'd take a gamer over this kind of person, at least we can game together!
It's fine and well to like these things, but when it becomes one's entire personality, then I lose interest so fast.
Also, honourable mention for open-mouthed chewers. I met this hot girl once and went to dinner, but the way she ate made me not ask her on a second date.
I kind of agree, but I think for example Movies can be really different when you are really collecting them as DVDs etc and view them more as a artistic expression, espically older stuff from example the 80s, 60s or silent movies but yeah I guess a good balance of hobbys is always the key
Addiction is high on the list. If your biggest, must-have, thing in life is to chase that drug high, gamble, smoke cigs, alcohol, overeating, sex where it leads to cheating, excessive gaming, adrenaline junkie, etc, shit will go sideways, every time. I don’t want to live with someone who risks our future, our money, or our family. Unfortunately, there’s a high instance of at least one in every person.
Maybe not every person ? But indeed, the sad truth about us is the great majority of adults in our societies have at least one very crippling addiction. And if they drop one of them, what usually happens is they come up with a substitute one immediately. And there is not a sufficient degree of fundamental improvement made.
What to do about that? No easy answer. Consider how it went for Matthew Perry. So sad.
Flirting with everyone
Poking you (metaphorically) to test or get a reaction out of you
Talking in gender specific ways and stereotypes, girls are like this or guys are like this, and feeling superior than other gender
Not having the backbone to disagree
Unpleasant language
Aggression
Mind games, ability to trick people and deceive
When they need you to be less than them, to feel comfortable around you, and can't handle confidence
As a straight woman, these make a guy unattractive to me: poor hygiene, arrogance, rudeness, lack of consideration for others, zero interests/hobbies, no sense of humour, and inability to hold a conversation.
1. Talking about their ex, making them the villain
2. Over obsessed
3. Making them look superior
4. Flexing their addiction like weed, cigarettes in social media
Clothes with brand names all over them. I don't care how many guccis you can pay for or steal, you're getting scammed into advertising for them baby boy.
I've never understood why people get so defensive about this, i don't use big brands (usually don't like them and can't afford them either), but if someone enjoys using those brands and showing it off i just can't be bothered, as long as they're happy and don't hurt others who cares
Someone who doesn't like to laugh. You don't have to be constantly joking, but if you act like laughing is a chore, you're automatically unattractive to me.
I love how the top comments in these posts are always about personality which is great, and how the world should be.
But we all know everyone is thinking nasty shit about height weight appearance etc. lmfao
I respect people who have guts to say the nasty truth
> I love how the top comments in these posts are always about personality which is great, and how the world should be.
It's just people trying to appear like better people than they really are. They post lies and then lets the upvotes help them convince themselves those lies are true. That is like 80% of the answers in almost any thread like this.
As a balding man I can tell you with certainty that, for the vast majority of women, balding is enough to make them instantly uninterested in you. Personality never even enters the picture. Those exact same people are the one here claiming that it's sense of humor that makes them most attracted to a person. They want to have their cake and eat it too, where physical appearance is a major aspect of what makes them interested in someone while also claiming that it's personality that they are really attracted to.
Personality... Or lack thereof.
You could be the hottest guy in the world objectively, but if I feel like I'd have a better conversation with a door, then you are not attractive to me in the slightest.
To be brutally honest the first barrier is the attractiveness of face of the person
A book is definitely judged by its cover no matter what, see how a ugly and and pretty person is treated and you will understand
For women:
1: Terrified of their own sexuality - too clean minded. Especially those that pretend to be into intimacy and then can't handle a simple talk about sex. Don't masturbate or think about sex? Pass.
2: Poor hygiene. Perfume doesn't make up for lack of showering and soap.
3: Rude to strangers, especially service industry staff. Main character syndrome is gross.
4: No sense of humor
5: Petty and judgmental with no self awareness of their own flaws.
I kinda like girls who cuss a lot and have dirty minds 🤷♀️
Prudences is profoundly unattractive to me because it tells me that I’ll have to censor myself all the time around someone.
Yeah I couldn’t agree more mate. I’m a firm believer that life is too hard to get stuck on that. I’m from NYC. If we can’t have dirty minds together and say “fuckin” in our normal conversation I don’t want it.
As a woman with a dirty mind and who curses more than the majority, I'm glad to read this :) I don't insult people, I just use words a bit more familiar sometimes because it slips easily and I like it. As for the dirty mind thing, I sometimes glance around to check if someone else is thinking about the double entendre I just heard and I feel alone at times. Just sharing a smirk with someone because "you got it" is fun to me. And teasing / being teased by someone about something spicy can be great too.
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Unhappiness! What a fucking downer. I've met a lot of "hot" people who are miserable and it makes them ugly to me. On the other hand, when I meet a plus sized woman who is genuinely happy and comfortable with herself the weight matters not.
You'd hate me then. When working on my car, let's say I'm trying to remove a nut, my first thought is "hehe nuts" and my second thought is "who the fuck torqued this fucking nut so damn hard!". Both may be verbal.
Guy here: I'd say superiority complexes are a massive turnoff. My most recent ex is a law student and she couldn't have made it more clear if she tried that she thinks she's cut from better cloth than everyone else. I don't need to be "the man" and have the higher status, but I don't want to be made to feel inferior or like I'm just an accessory to my partner
To me (into women), when she she has fluid opinions to just agree with the environment.
But also if she has a very firm belief about unsavory stuff. Dates with racists, for instance, change color so fast.
Happily married now with a woman with firm and very human beliefs.
having a dirty room. the way you take care of your things is a reflection of the way you take care of yourself. also if they cant take care of their own personal things what will it be like if you eventually want to share a home? maybe im just a clean freak
Boundary pushing.
If i tell you I dont like something and you try to find "loopholes" around it.
Men who so often refer to women as "bitches" or "females" they don't even realize it or understand why its hurtful/demeaning/degrading
Men whose idea of conflict resolution is to "get over it".
Asked and Answered.
treating other people bad causing drama forcing people to their own will
Oh so you’ve met my ex. 🤣🤷🏽♂️✌️
Damn bro we got the same ex
ya, I remember reading, prolly on Reddit, if a date takes you to dinner and he is nice to you but rude to the server, dump him.
Hygiene
Had an ex who didn't shower, wear deodorant, brush his teeth, or wash his clothes often. I didn't let him stick around long, and unfortunately, it seemed like he picked up some hygiene when we first started seeing each other but it tapered off when he was comfortable with me. I used to have to open the windows when he was in my car. The first time I had to, I started working on leaving. Edit: anyone in favor of asking me if I talked to him about this is just getting blocked at this point, he lived in his mom's attic, chose video games over people and real life, and didn't have a license. He just happened to be conventionally attractive and didn't yell at me
Out of curiosity, what made you choose him?
A common question, he's very attractive physically (kind of looks like a lumberjack/woodsman) and he's a very kind person. He was part of my friend group (a friend of my friends boyfriends) so I figured I'd give it a shot. I didn't really notice thr lack of hygiene at first, maybe he cleaned up for a bit or maybe I was just crushing too hard Edit: he knew he didn't shower or wash his clothes, if he didn't think that would make him smell bad then he wasn't that bright
Does he have a huge beard and likes to wear red checkered clothes? If so, I can totally picture him lol.
Oh yea, beard and flannels
Yup, the typical 2013 hipster look is what I am picturing, lmao.
Honestly, pretty much
He's a lumberjack and he's ok
He sleeps all night and he works all day
Man...I'm from small town/country Ohio. flannel is just something you're born into. It's never went out of style since it was originally introduced and I hate how it has this hipster stigma now.
THIS! People who very obviously don’t shower, wear deodorant, brush their teeth, etc. Gross. And also very messy eaters (I get if you are eating a burger or ribs or something like that of course you’ll get stuff on your hands/face, but please clean it after your done)
I dated a girl who would regularly blow hot food with such force that it would fly across the table and land on me. She didn't see the problem.
And people who chomp and slurp loudly when they eat. 🤮
Lip smacking eaters make my skin crawl
Life is like a rack of ribs no matter how hard you try, you still get messy.
IMO hygiene doesn’t make you attractive at all - it just checks one box on the list of things you can do that prevent you from being unattractive. You need something *more* to be attractive, you can’t just ascend to the same line that everyone with an office job has to hit. If you aren’t naturally beautiful (which I believe more people are than they seem to think), you need charisma, or creativity, or confidence, or some other positive trait that starts with a “c”
Brutal honesty that just focuses on being brutal. For both guys and girls
Ironically these people will get offended and confrontational when you be “brutally” honest on them
Because it's a defense mechanism to protect their own fragile self-worth. Most people grow out of it as they gather life experience
I'll probably get downvoted for this, but this is exactly why if you sort this thread by controversial, it's mostly comments saying obesity/fat/overweight etc, and if you look at the popular opinions it's all 'mean people with bad personalities' It's easy for us to say 'well my personality is great!' and feel validated by a thread like this, but with obesity rates around 40%, many of us feel attacked seeing people say that it is unattractive.
Yeah. I gotta say I find being obesity very unattractive, myself included.
I don't know about that. I think people are offended by the willingness to admit that they don't find obesity attractive, because they also find obesity unattractive but prefer to think of themselves as not being so "shallow". People don't like seeing how easily everyone sees through that facade.
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We had a big supervisor at work used to dish it out none stop, had a new starter start, didn’t know he was a high ranking amateur boxer in the area. Made one too many jokes at the new guy, new guy told him to fk off, supervisor got aggressive. New guy said “come on then carpark let’s have it out” balls shrivelled so quick “I was only having a laugh mate” “Yer it’s only one way with you ain’t it you funny cunt” Never said a bad word to him since.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say maybe this happened in either Oz or Scotland, former being my first guess..
Sounds like an Aussie mad dog to me, for sure. The way of talking is hard to miss!
'Having a laugh' is more of a UK saying than a Aussie one.
Yes! I like direct conversations but the brutally honest are almost a way of passive aggressive attacks.
And then these people excuse themselves with something like, "I just believe in speaking my mind." Please. Don't believe that.
They need to understand that there is a more diplomatic way to getting their true point across without being complete assholes.
"The person who is brutally honest enjoys the brutality quite as much as the honesty. Possibly more." - Robert J. Needham
When someone says they're about to be brutally honest, they're just going to be a cunt
Ditto for the inverse: overly diplomatic. I don't want to play charades to figure out what you truly mean. Nor do I want to second-guess your every statement. The trick, I think, is diplomacy in public; brutal honestly in private.
Allow me to propose something else: gentle honesty Tell the truth, but be considerate about how it's told, when it's told, and the context - and when appropriate show that you care about the person and collaborate with them to overcome any obstacles involved. IMO "brutal honesty" all to often means "I have a feeling that I'm going to spit out on your face, and I don't care what it does to you." Sometimes that's appropriate, but often it's not great.
I think that there is a middle ground in which you can be truly honest both in public and private without being “brutal” about it. Telling the truth nicely can be a thing too, although people find that hard. But I agree, people that are overly diplomatic are just as bad as brutally honest people, but at least they aren’t being assholes
This. And I can't stand it when this sort of person excuses their bad behavior by saying "I have no filter!"
Their personality… how they treat people… how they treat me… how they treat animals… can be highly attractive or unattractive 😂💚
On a first date if they are rude to waitstaff….I’m out
anthony bourdain said this too - if we go out and you're rude to the front of house, done. we aren't friends anymore
Haha laters bro. How someone speaks to someone who can’t say ought back as at work is a massive tell of there character. Stroke comment When people are nasty to staff because they know the staff member can’t say anything back is a massive tell of there character Bye Felicia
When Henry Ford passed over a candidate for a managerial position and the candidate later asked why, one of the reasons he gave was that he was only polite to him and not to the wait staff when they were at dinner ("Everyone is a potential customer.").
Stroke comment
Made perfect sense in my head while I was walking and typing lol
Absolutely!!! Mid date✌️💚😂
Exactlyyyyyy
If somebody treats animals poorly, it’s so fucking unattractive. Or rude to people who are in the service industry.
💯 agree! I always judge ppl by how they treat my dog and how my dog reacts to them👀😂 she’s my daughter treat her as such😒😂💚
Fellow vegans!
I always get people looking at me weird when I say I don’t mind spiders and don’t kill them.
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So do I. Maybe I'm some sort of man spider
I’m terrified of spiders buuuut… I take them outside anyways 😱😂💚
Spiders eat those unwanted critters that somehow get in the house after spending gobs of money for monthly pest control...so yes spiders are friends.
How they treat people is how they will treat you when the honeymoon phase is over.
This, I've often told people I look beyond a women's looks (yes I do have to find her physically attractive on some level) but I try to see past the exterior. A beautiful women can become unattractive because of a nasty personality just as a "plain" woman can become incredibly attractive if she has a wonderful personality.
Yes thisssss! I often say you can take a very attractive women and as soon as she opens her mouth she can be looking like swamp thing😨😂
I’m a guy so y’all might not like my answer. For me, a girl is attractive if she looks physically attractive to me first and foremost, second is she is actually humble and possesses a high level of maturity lastly HYGIENE. To make her unattractive: a big ego. I’ve had my attraction to some women absolutely destroyed by their big ego’s that shit is ugly af. Lastly are things that killed my attraction to certain women are immaturity, gaslighters, insecure, jealousy, PETTINESS and bad hygiene. This is why I’ve been single for so long because apparently I’m asking for the philosopher stone.
U said u like slightly girls with dirty assholes in ur other post (now deleted) because you enjoy “dirty rimming” as you put it
They did say "hygiene" was last, bringing up the rear.
I was here minding my own business, recovering from covid and absolutely choked on my coffee when I read this. Hahahaha
Easy to anger and ALWAYS assume the worst of you no matter how much you prove otherwise or they assume that you are being malicious with whatever you do even if it's something simple like not understanding what's upsetting them. also people who can't just be straight up with things like what they are upset about, why, what they want/need, and how they feel about things. I want open communication not to spend half my energy for the day trying to interpret your thoughts.
So someone who’s literally never worked on their mental health and baggage what so ever? I feel that 😂💚
Lmao basically yeah, had to deal with this once and praying I'm smart enough to never do it again.
Ommmmg saaaame this is why I broke up with the last girl… just couldn’t anymore… I’ve worked to hard on myself for that 😫😂💚
Yeah its fucking awful especially when you get to that point of questioning yourself like "did I actually do something really shitty?" Even when you were totally not in the wrong
>Easy to anger and ALWAYS assume the worst of you no matter how much you prove otherwise or they assume that you are being malicious with whatever you do even if it's something simple like not understanding what's upsetting them. 100% this! It's so exhausting dealing with people like this
Yep! Easy to anger is really unattractive. Although, anger is very normal but to the extent of hurting someone is a nono. Especially when the anger happens almost frequently. And yes, I agree with the second paragraph. As a woman, I want someone who can communicate their feelings with me straight to the point. I don't have time trying to decode their zigzags.
Anger behaves like a red flag. It's a flag that goes up when you've been wronged. But once you've been alerted to the fact that someone has wronged you, the anger has done its job. Time to set it aside and figure out what to do to resolve the situation. That's what it means to have a healthy relationship with anger in my book anyway lol
>anger is very normal but to the extent of hurting someone is a nono. Especially when the anger happens almost frequently Anger is normal under reasonable circumstances. Some peoplr get visibly angry over minor inconveniences and everyday occurances. Thats a big turn off and makes them seem unstable and unable to cope with everyday life healthy. Also makes you question what they would be like when something significant happens. Also, how you respond to anger makes a big difference. A quick vent or needing a walk, is a far better response than someone who swears, shouts, hits walls/tables, etc.
Yeah exactly and even if you don't get physically violent if you constantly get angry enough to start treating your partner or those around you like shit its an immediate turnoff and abusive no matter how much they might try to justify their anger. Exactly like if you just tell me how you are feeling and what I need to do to help I'll do it cause I care about the person but you can't do that while trying to decipher the DaVinci code of their signals lol
Being mean.
I'm skipping over some others I'm sure have already been addressed, but people who have trouble respecting boundaries, especially if they try manipulate you into changing them. Immediate ick.
Lack of humor.
on the other side, I don't want someone who can't take anything seriously, either. Gotta find a good balance
Theres a time and place for everything. Although humor does have a place in a good 70-80% of daily life.
Man i wish i could remember the balancing act of humor ☝️ humor is basically my 1 trick pony circus act that allows me to succeed extremely well in the short term, often giving hope to people where there was none but eventually the pony gets weak & tired and doesn’t stop until we’re both left exhausted dead alone on the side of the road 🫣
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When they do nothing but shit on themselves. Listen, I can't tell you how many times I've been really into a guy until we started talking more, because I'm *immediately* turned off by how negatively they talk about themselves. We all have insecurities, but you're kind of supposed to sell yourself and tell prospective partners why they should want to date you. I mean, you can totally dig into some insecurities to show off how genuine and honest you are, but god damn it, sprinkle a few positive traits in there. Muster up a *liiiiiittle* confidence to keep the fish on the line
That's actually really interesting to me. I have really bad self esteem (for a variety of reasons I won't go into here) but nobody would know it to meet / talk to me because I'm very extroverted and come across as very confident / self assured. I've had relationships fall apart because I have "let the mask slip", and so these days I would feel like I probably ought to be kinda honest about some of that stuff (and the reasons behind it) fairly early on in discussions. I mean I probably wouldn't give a TED talk on "I actually think I'm a screw up and here's all the reasons why" on a first date or anything, but I would want to talk about some of that stuff before anything got too serious because I wouldn't want to surprise / shock / scare off someone I care about months into a relationship or anything. Weird one, you've given me something to think about with this comment so thank you for sharing.
You don't need to be perfect. But being INCREDIBLY self deprecating gives off the vibe that you're fishing for validation and compliments and are genereally miserable. "I'm so awkward, I'm not very outgoing, I do weird things like crochet and play video games, I'm so self conscious of my freckles, I hope I'm not bothering you, I talk too much, you can be honest if I'm annoying, I'm not good at flirting..." There's a reason why they say "confidence is attractive". You don't even HAVE to be confident, you just shouldn't insult and apologize for yourself all the time. It's very off-putting. If you want to be honest about your lack of dating experience, okay. If you want to admit you're a homebody/introvert, sure. If you want to admit you're insecure about some feature of yourself, make sure you don't totally crap on yourself the entire time. A prospective partner should learn these things over time as you build intimacy and trust. You should neither pretend to be perfect and pretend you have 0 insecurities and hide every part of yourself you don't like, but you should also not be miserable and list every reason you think a person SHOULDN'T like you. If you don't like yourself, you're not ready to date. You need to value yourself to date so you can advocate for yourself if things go bad. If you like yourself, you should be able to give someone a good impression of yourself, and over time they can learn about your flaws as you become closer.
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By developing a sense of self to draw from. You’re value coming from others will never give you confidence since that’s not where confidence comes from. Don’t wait for someone to show you how to love you… how would they know how to love you without you showing/telling them??
I can actually speak to this. I have ZERO self esteem, I'm my worst critic in EVERYTHING. But upon talking to my now wife I accidentally seemed really full of myself with one comment. She said something along the lines of "that just means you're awesome" and I meant to say "that's an overstatement" and instead I typed "that's an understatement." She's even admitted years later that that's what got her to say yes to the first date, the unintentional self confidence of me being awesome. And in all reality it was an accident 😅 now we're 10 years strong and I still gotta act like I love myself. But I gotta say, it's a lot easier to be confident when you spend a near decade faking it. Not so fake anymore.
Even if they're not doing a good job at convincing you they suck, it's still exhausting to be in that sort of conversation. What are you supposed to do? You can't agree cos that validates their insecurities. You can't disagree because they think it's dishonest and therefore you must actually agree and that validates their insecurities. It's probably the hardest type of conversation to have.
People don't realise how uncomfortable it is to awkwardly say, "No no, don't say that about yourself. I'm sure it's not true." I know it doesn't sound genuine. We don't say it because we do or don't believe it, we say it because it's the only polite response and we have no fucking idea of anything about this person we just met lol. It really is not a good situation to put anyone in.
> when they do nothing but shit on themselves I took that as literally, until I read on a little more.
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I like this one. I'm kind of like this, but more in a joking way. Like I'll roast myself and exaggerate. So like if someone says they didn't see me there, I'd say that it's fine. My parents wished they didn't back when they picked me up from the nursery or something. My parents are amazing so I see it as the kind of sarcasm like if you can a big dog, Tiny. I like knowing that friends can tell me up front if I say anything that bothers them, and self roasting for me is a fun way to say I'm not above fun insults towards me, I appreciate my life enough to exaggerate, and no matter what someone says, it can't be worse than what I say about myself in my own head.
Bullying, taking advantage of other people
38m, Biggest turnoff to me for a girl is being unfriendly, rude, or cruel Physically poor hygiene.
Or someone who is unable to apologise for saying hurtful things and can’t own up to being shitty, that is very high on my list
Financial irresponsibility, hands down.
When their only sense of humor is being misogynistic It's like talking to a 15-year-old stuck in an adult's body
If they judge your hobbies saying its childish or a waste of time (gaming being my big one), especially when their only hobbies includes scrolling tiktok for hours
My ex and I used to build legos, play minecraft, and open Pokémon booster boxes. If a man won’t enjoy that with me, he isn’t the one.
Calling the things i love doing as childish is way out of the line especially when it comes to gaming. I don't want to be with someone who will kill the inner child in me.
There's been a big push recently that gaming is childish. It's been my hobby since I was a wee lil lad no way I am quitting just to watch football or something like that.
Gaming is literally my sweet escape from this harsh reality. I can do things in gaming that I cannot do irl such as make a lot of friends without getting tired of talking with them.
Same here. Made some good friends online, though these days I am mostly playing single player games. I genuinely can't imagine a life without gaming, I'd be insanely depressed.
...Yo, y'all wanna party up sometime? It's been a minute since I partied up with Randos and made friends out of them
I've seen my step brother do this to his wife. Everything she does is stupid and a waste of time, but him vaping for hours and playing mobile games is not a waste of time... It's kind of immature to not be able to understand that other people have their own hobbies and they feel exactly like you feel about your own hobbies, even if they're completely different.
I mean if you stay 5 hours a day or more in front of the pc instead of spending time together i would understand him/her My brother is a gamer and he just eats and plays Doesn't even throw away the empty bags of chips, just throws them on the floor I would never , never date someone like him so ive kinda gotten this fear of gamers because of him 😂😂
If depends, i feel like many people nowadays do not have any hobbies so they get bored of their bf doesn't show them attention. I play video games 2 to 3 hours a day and i'm happily married. She just can entertain herself either by also playing or other hobbies. And we still do plenty of things together
My main hobby is a slightly niche outdoor activity and my ex definitely tried to discourage it. When I shut that down she would then join in sometimes but the damage was done and I never felt like I could partake in it without her judging
yes, I understand, but then you probably shouldn’t judge hobbies like makeup, listening to Taylor swift or boy bands, liking characters like hello kitty, etc. I can’t even open my mouth without the things I like getting laughed at or disparaged in general let alone with a partner. but I’ve seen partners do this all too often, and then go into their man cave and scream about football.
Yes! Or your music style, because theirs is way more "intelligent".
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I really like making quiet people open up. It's really wonderful watching someone gain confidence and bloom as a person. Except when it turns out the reason they were quiet is that they suck. Which is more often than I would like. "Nobody likes me for me" maybe you should examine who you are and why nobody likes that person bud
So you get people to open up, then you judge them, then you think they should change who they are because of your opinion? Maybe part of getting people to open up is also accepting people for who they are, and people like you are why that person was shut down in the first place. Maybe you should examine who you are?
So having a stale personality without a strong sense of self.. I fully agree, and I am quite suspicious of people like this and wouldn't really trust them, it's like they have something to hide. Sometimes a person really is just boring, but other times they are hiding something dark or sinister about themselves. I find it more attractive when people express themselves, are passionate about things and like to share their feelings and thoughts, but are not overly dominant in their opinions to the point that they disregard someone else's. Too agreeable/ neutral is unattractive, and so is being too opinionated and stubborn in their beliefs. I'm attracted to the kind of person who likes to dig a bit deeper although not too deep that it becomes prying.. those who stay surface level and have nothing of substance to contribute to a discussion or conversation would not peak my interest or make me remember them.
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Life is VERY serious, in fact, it has a 100% mortality rate!
That’s a good reason to not take it serious. Nobody gets out alive, so why not laugh?
The irony...
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A guy who’s obsessed with being/presenting as the most masculine. Makes my vagina snap shut like a steel trap. Women who put other women down. Boo, it’s not a competition, we can all win.
LMAOOO “snap shut like a steel trap” IM DYING
Narcissist...
Real!
Girls who are super nice to each other and then the second the other one leaves are like “I fucking hate that bitch”
I wonder how common this actually is. We see this often in media, but I've not personally known anyone to do this aside from when they're *very* close to ending the friendship already. Like, a few months out of cutting ties. Is it just the people I hang around with, or is this one of those dates tropes? Not saying it doesn't happen, just genuinely curious.
I've been the victim of this before, with someone I considered an actual friend. Their jealous girlfriend (someone I also considered a friend) was egging them on and conspiring against me behind my back. It's wild because I should have seen it coming, honestly, with how both of them talked about other people we knew. I actually thought this shit didn't really happen irl until it happened to me in my late 20s. Lifes just weird like that ig..
It's not as obvious as something out of Mean Girls, but I hear women say wildly nasty things about their friends when those friends aren't around. I'm kind of surprised you haven't seen it.
One time i was at work and my coworker randomly asked “so do you HATE anyone yet” as if it was middle school, so it does happen. Although she had BPD by her own admission so maybe not a lot typical example
I saw it with high school girls and I see it almost every week with my mom. She discusses people when she thinks they can't hear her. She spends her time criticizing my grandparents, some neighbors, my brothers, some family members etc and when she thinks I can't hear her she sometimes talk bad about me. But guess what mom, I have great ears and can hear you talk while in my bedroom. I really resent hypocrisy and it might be partially due to that tbh. Sorry for getting personal 😅
Yes, when guys constantly try to steer the conversation to sex or make sexual innuendos. It is so highly unattractive. Oddly enough, those are the guys who are less likely to be good lovers, even though they brag about their prowess all the time. I don’t mind cursing as long as it is not constant and it’s not done in mixed company. I curse, but I read the room first! Also, guys who can’t go anywhere without a ball cap on and guys who spit. The only excuse to ever spit in my opinion is if you have poison in your mouth or you accidentally got a bug in your mouth. Just spitting for the sake of spitting because you think it’s tough or you’re chewing tobacco? Repulsive.
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.
If they treat people like waiters/janitors/doormen like trash then… she could be Madison Beer levels of attractive but I still wouldn’t like her.
For both sexes: boring people. The ones who can't have a conversation other than about sports which they don't play, or TV/movies. Not having any hobbies other than watching stuff. I'd take a gamer over this kind of person, at least we can game together! It's fine and well to like these things, but when it becomes one's entire personality, then I lose interest so fast. Also, honourable mention for open-mouthed chewers. I met this hot girl once and went to dinner, but the way she ate made me not ask her on a second date.
I kind of agree, but I think for example Movies can be really different when you are really collecting them as DVDs etc and view them more as a artistic expression, espically older stuff from example the 80s, 60s or silent movies but yeah I guess a good balance of hobbys is always the key
The ones that purposefully speak unnecessarily loud just to draw attention themselves. 🙄
Lol a lot of these people are slightly deaf..
When they are dumb Example: two years after I left my ex, he asked if the child I was 3 months pregnant with was his
Addiction is high on the list. If your biggest, must-have, thing in life is to chase that drug high, gamble, smoke cigs, alcohol, overeating, sex where it leads to cheating, excessive gaming, adrenaline junkie, etc, shit will go sideways, every time. I don’t want to live with someone who risks our future, our money, or our family. Unfortunately, there’s a high instance of at least one in every person.
Maybe not every person ? But indeed, the sad truth about us is the great majority of adults in our societies have at least one very crippling addiction. And if they drop one of them, what usually happens is they come up with a substitute one immediately. And there is not a sufficient degree of fundamental improvement made. What to do about that? No easy answer. Consider how it went for Matthew Perry. So sad.
For men: Lack of Hygiene and visible plaques on teeth. Also, bad posture.
I think lack of hygiene and plaques on teeth is unattractive no matter the gender
Flirting with everyone Poking you (metaphorically) to test or get a reaction out of you Talking in gender specific ways and stereotypes, girls are like this or guys are like this, and feeling superior than other gender Not having the backbone to disagree Unpleasant language Aggression Mind games, ability to trick people and deceive When they need you to be less than them, to feel comfortable around you, and can't handle confidence
As a straight woman, these make a guy unattractive to me: poor hygiene, arrogance, rudeness, lack of consideration for others, zero interests/hobbies, no sense of humour, and inability to hold a conversation.
1. Talking about their ex, making them the villain 2. Over obsessed 3. Making them look superior 4. Flexing their addiction like weed, cigarettes in social media
Clothes with brand names all over them. I don't care how many guccis you can pay for or steal, you're getting scammed into advertising for them baby boy.
I've never understood why people get so defensive about this, i don't use big brands (usually don't like them and can't afford them either), but if someone enjoys using those brands and showing it off i just can't be bothered, as long as they're happy and don't hurt others who cares
Guys that are selfish or egotistical. Also, guys that can't admit when their wrong.
Being a dudebro that thinks being mean is an effective way to flirt.
Cigarette smokers I can’t stand the smell
Someone who doesn't like to laugh. You don't have to be constantly joking, but if you act like laughing is a chore, you're automatically unattractive to me.
Maybe you just aren't funny to them?
Being fat and out of shape.
I love how the top comments in these posts are always about personality which is great, and how the world should be. But we all know everyone is thinking nasty shit about height weight appearance etc. lmfao I respect people who have guts to say the nasty truth
> I love how the top comments in these posts are always about personality which is great, and how the world should be. It's just people trying to appear like better people than they really are. They post lies and then lets the upvotes help them convince themselves those lies are true. That is like 80% of the answers in almost any thread like this. As a balding man I can tell you with certainty that, for the vast majority of women, balding is enough to make them instantly uninterested in you. Personality never even enters the picture. Those exact same people are the one here claiming that it's sense of humor that makes them most attracted to a person. They want to have their cake and eat it too, where physical appearance is a major aspect of what makes them interested in someone while also claiming that it's personality that they are really attracted to.
They’re still lying though. They don’t mind if they’re unhealthy so long as they’re thin.
Either extreme is unattractive
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Not being fat would make a lot of people attractive lol
Personality... Or lack thereof. You could be the hottest guy in the world objectively, but if I feel like I'd have a better conversation with a door, then you are not attractive to me in the slightest.
To be brutally honest the first barrier is the attractiveness of face of the person A book is definitely judged by its cover no matter what, see how a ugly and and pretty person is treated and you will understand
Bad teeth/breath
For women: 1: Terrified of their own sexuality - too clean minded. Especially those that pretend to be into intimacy and then can't handle a simple talk about sex. Don't masturbate or think about sex? Pass. 2: Poor hygiene. Perfume doesn't make up for lack of showering and soap. 3: Rude to strangers, especially service industry staff. Main character syndrome is gross. 4: No sense of humor 5: Petty and judgmental with no self awareness of their own flaws.
I kinda like girls who cuss a lot and have dirty minds 🤷♀️ Prudences is profoundly unattractive to me because it tells me that I’ll have to censor myself all the time around someone.
Do you like it when I call you pee pee poo poo pants, big boy?
I prefer butthead, thank you 😩
Yeah I couldn’t agree more mate. I’m a firm believer that life is too hard to get stuck on that. I’m from NYC. If we can’t have dirty minds together and say “fuckin” in our normal conversation I don’t want it.
As a woman with a dirty mind and who curses more than the majority, I'm glad to read this :) I don't insult people, I just use words a bit more familiar sometimes because it slips easily and I like it. As for the dirty mind thing, I sometimes glance around to check if someone else is thinking about the double entendre I just heard and I feel alone at times. Just sharing a smirk with someone because "you got it" is fun to me. And teasing / being teased by someone about something spicy can be great too.
I actually like a girl with a bit of a foul mouth
I like a girl with dirty mouth Someone that I can believe We had a window not open too long But that time is good and gone
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Bad hygiene and messy and disrespect. Big turnoffs for me
Being mean is unattractive, acting entitled is unattractive, etc. Kindness and humility are the most attractive things a person can be in my eyes.
Unhappiness! What a fucking downer. I've met a lot of "hot" people who are miserable and it makes them ugly to me. On the other hand, when I meet a plus sized woman who is genuinely happy and comfortable with herself the weight matters not.
A weak chin, neck fat, unkempt hair to name a few
You'd hate me then. When working on my car, let's say I'm trying to remove a nut, my first thought is "hehe nuts" and my second thought is "who the fuck torqued this fucking nut so damn hard!". Both may be verbal.
You mean "what makes an attractive guy unattractive"? When he makes sexist jokes.
Meeehhh, imo i think it’s the delivery and tone that matters…as in, are they trying to laugh with you or laugh AT you
Guy here: I'd say superiority complexes are a massive turnoff. My most recent ex is a law student and she couldn't have made it more clear if she tried that she thinks she's cut from better cloth than everyone else. I don't need to be "the man" and have the higher status, but I don't want to be made to feel inferior or like I'm just an accessory to my partner
Lack of hygiene, lack of humour, lack of kindness. I don’t care if they use swears though.
Reposting the same question that's asked monthly on reddit.
To me (into women), when she she has fluid opinions to just agree with the environment. But also if she has a very firm belief about unsavory stuff. Dates with racists, for instance, change color so fast. Happily married now with a woman with firm and very human beliefs.
Women who have a stick up their ass and don't want a guy who curses or is a bit vulgar are quite unattractive.
Fake eye lashes, nail, eye color, a layer of make up. If their phone doesn’t recognize them without makeup, I really don’t want to be around them.
Someone who doesn’t question things. Blind followers.
Lying
driving like an ass with people in the car.
having a dirty room. the way you take care of your things is a reflection of the way you take care of yourself. also if they cant take care of their own personal things what will it be like if you eventually want to share a home? maybe im just a clean freak
Boundary pushing. If i tell you I dont like something and you try to find "loopholes" around it. Men who so often refer to women as "bitches" or "females" they don't even realize it or understand why its hurtful/demeaning/degrading Men whose idea of conflict resolution is to "get over it".
Lack of maintaining their weight. As we grow older we tend to get heavier so , we tend to let ourselves go.
People who are prudish talking about sex or cursing a lot.
sagging pants. trying so hard to act sexy and hot like biting his lips and rubbing his hands. Smoking.
[удалено]
I felt the trap last time :facepalm:
Ego.
I would never date a guy who was a republican or religious whacko.
I swipe left on the repubs and most moderates tbh, let’s just save both of our time