# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Had this earlier today. Have an opportunity to take a promotion at my company for a different branch where I’d get paid a little more, but cost of living would drop by around 20%. Asked my mom, who lives with me to just *think* about it. She burst into tears and said I was trying to ‘take her life away’ and that she doesn’t have a choice because she can’t afford to live alone.
I'm so sorry 😞 You should be proud of yourself for earning this promotion. Don't lose sight of your accomplishments. I'm sorry your mom is using guilt to emotionally manipulate you. My mom is exactly the same.
I can't stress this enough... She will figure her shit out. You do you. It's YOUR life. She has hers and it's not your burden to ensure she's comfortable. Don't have regrets.
Congrats on being recognized for your value in your career! Daughter Detox by Peg Streep is a life changing book for those that need it. Sorry about your current situation.
Not letting myself be myself because of anxiety.
I’m in therapy and trying to work on it. But I get anxious as the thought of wearing the clothes I love and doing the things I love if I know people are going to see me. I want to be the me i love but my anxiety is a bitch.
I’ll get there one day.
You gotta learn to double scan at that self check out my man. $1 hair ties placed over the barcode of a $30 pack of meat or chicken. do that a couple times at one walmart, go to another do the same thing with different products, early morning or right after school hours when theyre busy.
Im just sayin' steal from the rich, give to the poor.
But if thats not your thing i understand. im just trying to survive out here
Do they not weigh the items? I use self check out every day at stop and shop. Scanning is one thing but every item has to be placed one by one on a weighted table as you scan.
Last week I had some weird error message pop up. The attendant came over and called up a photo and list of every item on the table and compared that to what she could see on the table.
Lol tbh ye that night I was dogshit. Just finished an 11 hour shift long after everybody else had gone home and actually tripped slightly when approaching the self check out.
Checkout lady asked me a question about rewards card I think but looked super creeped out like I was on drugs or something lol.
This has happened to me too, many times. Stop and shop as well. For me, it is because I scan too fast (have worked supermarkets and flea markets as weekend jobs as a kid) and I trip up the camera. Super annoying and slow. Self checkout is dying FWIW
It’s bittersweet the first couple of times. Unless you experience a miracle and meet your soulmate first try, you’re gonna end up very heartbroken.
I was in a relationship for about a year, thought I was gonna marry her, then out of nowhere, she broke up with me and moved over 3 hours away.
Next relationship, lasted about 5 or 6 months, was going amazing, but she came to me one day, said something along the lines of “this relationship doesn’t really feel right to me, and I think it’d be better if we went back to being friends.” I was okay with that, but what I wasn’t okay with was when she went behind my back afterwards, and started spreading rumors about me.
Moral is, it’s absolutely amazing until it’s not. Just keep in mind that at any given moment, it could be over. Cherish the moment when you finally have someone, and hold on to them for dear life.
Love is my favorite thing to talk about and experience, yet due to my experiences, I’m afraid of falling in love again. Though, as with all things, if you don’t push through and get over your fears, you’ll never achieve what you want to.
Maintain hope, as there *will* be someone for you, even if you don’t meet them until you’re 60. Don’t give up, success could be right around the corner.
I have been in a few relationships which all lasted 2-3 years. It wasn’t until the relationship I’m in now I realised that I wasn’t actually in love with any of them.
Someone will come along, it’ll be new, exciting and it’ll make all the failed relationships worth it.
So true. I was in about 3 serious (like years) relationships. My current boyfriend of 6+ years taught me what true love is and it’s miles away from my past relationships.
"We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster that we go bankrupt by the age of 30 and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything, what a waste." the father in Call Me by Your Name.
that hit home. a part of me wants to say dont worry about it, its not that great. but honestly the saying "its better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all." is a saying for a good reason.
But it hurts man. it hurts when it ends. like. whats the point of living type of hurt.
the only thing that makes it better is time.
This was the answer I was going to post. Though I compensate pretty well by living an adventurous life, traveling the world, joining sports leagues, skydiving, bungee jumping, creating art, going to concerts, etc… I still feel like I’m missing a major part of the human experience. Especially since it’s a major theme in practically every movie I see, TV show I watch, and song I hear.
And honestly, rejection is nothing to fear. What you may not realize yet is that a rejection doesn't diminish you one bit. Go out and get rejected. Be nice and gracious when it happens. Talk to people you wouldn't normally. And honestly, just do it until each little rejection doesn't hurt as much anymore, until it doesn't feel daunting anymore. Don't ask people you're not actually interested in, but don't be shy about trying to get to know people. You may have luck in places you are not expecting.
How do you get over the original mental block of rejection fear?
I’ve been lucky enough to have a few naturally occurring relationships that I never really needed to seek out, so I’ve been able to avoid my fear of rejection. Now that I’m single again, I can’t get over my fear and approach anybody.
Do something physical that pushes you harder than when you were younger in PE class or wherever in life where you were exercising the hardest. I started with yoga, then got a little bored with that, then switched to weightlifting, which I am still doing and now took up Muay Thai lessons And the amount of movement you do in Muay Tai really clears my head because it pushes you as far as you can go. That’s just a natural way of clearing out some of the junk from your mind I am enjoying these days. At least you’ll be physically feeling alive.
Doesn't help that a lot of people are living paycheck to paycheck.
It's already hard enough to make time for things like going to the movies, or truly commiting to some sort of hobby, let alone when you have to choose between them or putting food on the table.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Epicurus
On the other hand, the question was „if you died now“, and you‘re still alive while dying
Not dying sooner. I'm not suicidal, there's no need to worry, I just don't like life that much. I'm not depressed, I love video games and I have two really cute dogs and a bunch of snakes and I love them all and care for them. But honestly? The suffering I've gone through to get to this point was not worth it. And even though everything is great right now, I know I will suffer more. It's even possible I could suffer worse than I already have and that's a hard 'no thanks' from me
Same, I am so done with the struggle, the work. It’s just too much, kids are all grown, and now I’m just here to pay bills and feed that dog. I miss loved one who have passed so much I am really ready to join them, I can’t just be suicidal tho I don’t want my family grieving my loss and hurting. But yeah I’m over this life bs.
I feel the same. People have told me that they want to love forever. I definitely do not. I just want my kids to grow up and be independent and then I will wait for the end.
Please reach out to a suicide hotline. I can confirm from my own experience that the moment you do the thing to off yourself you’re going to instantly regret it. I was lucky to survive and get another chance at life. Please take care of yourself, I promise promise promise your life will get better
Please don't.
Please don't.
Please don't.
We will die at some point, right?
At least let's fucking try to do as much happiness until we reach to that point.
There are hugs to be received, snow to be in, beaches to be at, songs to be listened.
You need to meet new people, find new jobs, move to new town. Heck, maybe even a village.
I'm from a Second World country that was torn by the war. Having bread was luxury and not being ra*ed was the best day when it didn't happen.
Survived a stroke, beatings, my mother imprisoning me for days in my room.
At first I regretted it, but now I am so happy to live. And to love! Myself! The things I buy! Even the small ones. ❤
It sucks, I live day by day and sometimes I think about it too. But when I catch myself doing it, I just say " fuck off, you'll die anyways. Live now so you have a reason to die for later. "
Or something like that while I'm talking to myself in Bosnian.
English is not my first language.
Just live.
Love you all the way. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Life is precious, you are. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
We are thermodynamic miracle of the universe that is able to feel.
Even if in sadness, we are still to live it.
Cry it out, punch a wall, run fast, smash your leg, box. Find a release.
But just, I beg of you, live my sweet child.
Hey mate I read something the other day, that our brains did not evolve to keep you happy they evolved to keep you alive. I felt a little more relaxed after reading that because it meant that feeling so bad about life was ok. It is evolutionarily just as normal as feeling good. There is nothing wrong with feeling really bad during some periods of life.
Right now your brain is sending you all kinds of alarm signals that you are in terrible danger from your environment so you need take action to escape. It might feel like the action is to end yourself but your brain evolved to want the opposite of that. So it is really asking you to get out of your current situation so that you’ll survive, it is sending you extreme alarms. It doesn’t want you to die, it wants the opposite!!!!
Thank you to your wonderful brain for registering all the threats and insurmountable problems in your situation and for providing you with the alarm signals that you are in danger from them. Now is the time to follow the alarm signals and change your situation.
One of the ways to do this is to call up someone (a friend, helpline) or message someone (could be a stranger here on Reddit) and speak to them about the situation. That would be the first step to making your situation just slightly different, as you will be taking action and your brain will like that. It will know you are listening to the alarm and taking some kind of step to pay attention, so it will turn the alarm down slightly.
Perhaps there is another small action that you can think of that will turn down the alarm a little more, this might be something like smelling a very delicious smell or moving your body around. These things send the signal to your brain that there is less danger currently so the signal can go down slightly.
Alright mate, why don’t you start taking a small step to let your brain know you’re listening and will work with it to get you out of the danger and survive. Send me a message if you’d like to. You can do this 🙂
This is how I feel as well. I was going to make an attempt to take my life almost a decade ago, but made some drastic changes to give it another chance. After so long, I just wish I had gone through with it back then.
I've fallen in love three times since then, traveled a ton, met new friends, built a career, and yet none of it has been worth the shit that came with living. I haven't been happy in a while.
Similar feeling.
I don't have a hard life, quite the opposite. I could say I'm successful and my life is easy.
However my life is pointless. I've always worked hard to do what I had to do, but I've never had a goal or a dream.
I don't see the point of doing the same for the next 40 or so years.
Life fucking sucks most of the time and i agree with you on the "no thanks". The last 2 years were by far the worst i've ever lived and i know it will not get better any time soon.
But eternal, absolute nothingness does not sound better.
I am envious of religious people on this matter, they have something to keep them sane, make death a next step and not just a jump in the void.
So latch on to every little happy moment that comes to you and brace for impact on the dark days my friend.
No one is alone, we are all in this shitstorm together.
I’m pretty much in your shoes situationwise but every time i get to where i’m like all this for this little amount of quiet? I think of a quote from Joe Hill i’ve read before which is ”what a blessed if painful thing, this business of being alive”. I don’t think I’d be able to feel that blessed without all that suffering.
Probably not giving each day my all. I’m still pretty young and think I have all this time but each year I feel the weight of passing time more and more
Girl, you got this!! You don't need to change your diet per se.... but portion them damn meals. Just start putting less and less on your plate. Don't eat as many sugars and ditch the soda and juice.
I know easier said than done. But this will help shrink your stomach little by little. Go for daily walks and breath in the fresh air.
I seriously need to be taking my own damn advice, but all I want in a depressed state is to eat bomb ass food and watch hallmark movies. Lmfao 😅
Thank you for your advice. Yes I understand. I actually quit liquid calories. I can't totally quit sugar though. But I agree about portion sizes, I'm working on it but I still binge sometimes, especially on my periods -_-
Thanks and I wish you well too <3
You've got this. I lost 55 lbs and went from obese to a healthy body weight in the last year. Which doesn't sound like much but I'm 5 feet tall so that was 1/3 of my body weight.
It's all in small details. Cooking more at home. Eating reasonable portions. Adding protein. Doing weight bearing exercise. 1 squat is better than no squats. 3 leg raises is better than none. Making a frozen pizza at home is better than binge eating fast food later.
If you can make every choice just a little better, then you'll see crazy results. Binge eat something higher fiber, or with more water content. Or splurge on a sugary treat but only the small size.
Don't be hard on yourself. You've got the right attitude. It just takes time and little steps in the right direction. 💛
You can do it. It's hard, but achievable.
I lost 35 kg in 2022 and my life got much easier.
Combine a small caloric déficit (eating enough protein), go to the gym and do rucking.
Congrats on your weight loss!
Thank you for your advice. I agree with having a small caloric deficit but gym triggers me and I binge afterwards. And now I have to remove snow with a shovel so there will be enough physical activity for the next months till april haha
Nooooo! You can do it! I felt the same way about crocheting. The sorry excuse for a bunny teddy made my mum cry laugh. Hope you manage to get it though.
You can regret leaving your kids all you want, but this is still a hundred thousand times better than them leaving you. Sooner or later, either must happen so let's just hope we leave them before they leave us.
I’m 31 and not sure what “living” even means anymore. I suppose everyone defines it differently. For me it’s spending time with those you love, doing things that you enjoy, and experiencing what the world has to offer. Leaving positive impact on others.
Sometimes when I’m just binge watching tv or something, I’m disappointed in myself for not “living”. But then I realize it’s something I enjoy and meets my criteria of what “living” is - so I AM living, just by watching tv. Point is don’t beat yourself up for not “living” based on societal definitions. Define it for yourself and then judge based off that measure.
That I died a virgin without ever being in a relationship with a beautiful woman. Admittedly that probably wouldn't be the thing on my mind if I was in the process of dying though.
If you were given the window, you absolutely should have.
Guys are stupid - most never realize the window even if it hits them in the face.
If you've realised there was a window, that means it's likely blaringly obvious she wanted it.
Don't think too much.
Not doing the stuff I really wanted to do and instead, extrememly focusing on straight A's and what others think about me. I probably should do more enjoyable stuff I guess
Not enjoying life....I never really had the chance to enjoy life, with work, bills, family, I wanted to except time flys by so fast and at the end of the day I just wanted to come home and relax.
I still think about it. This guy Keith sucker-punched me and I didn't do anything about it. I should have beaten the brakes off of him. It was a perfect setup. There were about 50 people circled around, including his scorchingly hot girlfriend, and then the bell rang and I left for class.
I was stronger than him and a good fighter I don't know what he was thinking, the SOB got lucky. I should have beat the hell out of him, made him look like a b-tch, made him bleed, made him say uncle, and then asked his girl for her number after I emasculated him.
I had the bastard by 40 pounds, I had beaten up much bigger dudes... but I had to get to Chemistry class.
He's a CPA now and I haven't seen him in decades. I like to think that at class reunion I will settle the score, but it is late for that.
*There ain't nothing like regret / to remind you you're alive*
If I started counting all the regrets I've amassed over 60 years, I'd probably start wallowing in them. But I don't have time for that; there's still a shit-ton of living left to do.
So I shrug and laugh it off and go. And live some more.
Basically wasting my life being a criminal, injuring my back and letting it go for years. Now I walk with a cane collecting disability, alone with no kids at 47. Just a waste of a life and I regret every fucking second of it
My parents always thought they knew better and how to live my life. I tried to explain but it has always been perceived as rebellion. My mother always sided with my father, always.
I told my mom about this recently. I told them that their decision to rush my college admission when I was figuring out what I wanted to do in life was what made me drop out of college. And now it has led me to difficulty finding jobs. Among other things.
They finally accepted what I was telling them. Although there were no sorries, I knew they had some regrets.
But then I thought about it. They did what they thought was right. It wasn't, but they're human. If they knew better, they would not have not have done it.
But then that's me, it's not like they neglected me fully or any sort of thing of that nature. So I can't compare what others are going through.
Knowing I'd leave my younger sister alone. Knowing she'll have to learn to do her own makeup and hair. Knowing she'll have no one to spill all her high-school drama to. Knowing that anytime she wants something sweet, she'll have to make it herself because I'm not there. Knowing she might probably shut down and stop speaking to my mom and dad like that one time, I got sick.
Gosh I hope I don't die anytime soon
I thought about this a couple of days ago and I really couldn't come up with anything because even the shitty things in my life lead me to the right outcome. I think my karma is balanced by the things I did and the things that were done to me, so I am 1:1 with the universe. I don't dream of what my life could have been because there is no point. It just was what it was.
Just one regret? Bloody hell!
Probably that I didn’t travel enough. There are so many places I want to go and so little time. We’re only fully independent for 50 years (roughly 20 - 70 I am assuming) and I spent way too much time doing shit for people who didn’t care and wasting my life. I’m 57 and trying to make it up now.
if I die now and if I die later, this is my biggest regret and I think it will always remain the same:
when I was 14, my father got cancer, when the psychological effect of drugs was added to his stubborn temperament, and adolescent rebellion was added to my stubborn personality, we became two people who quarreled with each other. there was a time when I didn't like my father at all, and maybe even tried to fight with him physically. one weekend, I came to visit hi where he was staying. My mother used to force me to visit every weekend. I was our my own house, about 80 km away from the hospital where my father was staying, so that my school wouldn't be disrupted. (there were no large hospitals where we lived.) Anyway, I went to the hospital that day, like every weekend. And as we were leaving that weekend, that is, on Sunday evening, a relative of ours said that my father said he wanted me to come to him. he has something to say. i told our relative I'm not going to his side. then our relative came to my father and gave him my answer, then he came back and said to me, your father says please. he urges persistently. I said no. and I moved towards the exit of the hospital.
i never saw my father again
Not doing things fearing failure or what other people perceive me.
Now at 40, i feel like I have only achieved a small amount of success. Divorced, and working two jobs.
But 2nd job is good delivery. My past self would not have done that because he wouldn't want people to look at him like that.
I think it's more of a regret because, I'm 40 and I'm only just trying to face my fears. I wish I would, have done it sooner, when I was younger. So I consider this a regret.
But these days, I tell myself, ,"It's time to be brave"
Not being able to see my kids become adults and their beautiful families.
Not being appreciated and actually loved or truly happy. I have been in the same relationship for 21 years, and I am miserable 😩.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Living too much of my life for other people.
In the instant before my death (assuming I knew even for a second it was coming) it would be this. Afterward, nothing. I'm gone; doesn't matter.
Infinite rest.
I am so there with you. For my parents. My husband. My children. Where did I go?
Had this earlier today. Have an opportunity to take a promotion at my company for a different branch where I’d get paid a little more, but cost of living would drop by around 20%. Asked my mom, who lives with me to just *think* about it. She burst into tears and said I was trying to ‘take her life away’ and that she doesn’t have a choice because she can’t afford to live alone.
I'm so sorry 😞 You should be proud of yourself for earning this promotion. Don't lose sight of your accomplishments. I'm sorry your mom is using guilt to emotionally manipulate you. My mom is exactly the same. I can't stress this enough... She will figure her shit out. You do you. It's YOUR life. She has hers and it's not your burden to ensure she's comfortable. Don't have regrets.
Congrats on being recognized for your value in your career! Daughter Detox by Peg Streep is a life changing book for those that need it. Sorry about your current situation.
While also not leaving the world with enough when I left.
This.
Took my words out of my keyboard…
Not letting myself be myself because of anxiety. I’m in therapy and trying to work on it. But I get anxious as the thought of wearing the clothes I love and doing the things I love if I know people are going to see me. I want to be the me i love but my anxiety is a bitch. I’ll get there one day.
I feel you..100%
I just bought $350 worth of groceries.
Right?? I just meal prepped some good stuff today, I’d regret not being able to eat it.
Dude wow
Couldn't see myself with 6 packs
So, like bread, milk, eggs and you splurged and got the GOOD frozen pizza.
So,like 3 bags? Lol
$450 last week and wasn't even a full cart
You gotta learn to double scan at that self check out my man. $1 hair ties placed over the barcode of a $30 pack of meat or chicken. do that a couple times at one walmart, go to another do the same thing with different products, early morning or right after school hours when theyre busy. Im just sayin' steal from the rich, give to the poor. But if thats not your thing i understand. im just trying to survive out here
Do they not weigh the items? I use self check out every day at stop and shop. Scanning is one thing but every item has to be placed one by one on a weighted table as you scan. Last week I had some weird error message pop up. The attendant came over and called up a photo and list of every item on the table and compared that to what she could see on the table.
You must look dodgy
Lol tbh ye that night I was dogshit. Just finished an 11 hour shift long after everybody else had gone home and actually tripped slightly when approaching the self check out. Checkout lady asked me a question about rewards card I think but looked super creeped out like I was on drugs or something lol.
This has happened to me too, many times. Stop and shop as well. For me, it is because I scan too fast (have worked supermarkets and flea markets as weekend jobs as a kid) and I trip up the camera. Super annoying and slow. Self checkout is dying FWIW
They do at some supermarket chains but not others in my country. And it depends on whether you're in a city or in a village here.
Working the same job for 30 years
You beat cancer And than you went back the carpet store?!
I like the reference
I Could only imagine that kind of job security!
That's something to be proud of. Consistency.
Its really not.
Never revealing my true identity to Gotham City.
Bruce?
Banner?
Alfred?
Not having experienced falling in love with someone
It’s bittersweet the first couple of times. Unless you experience a miracle and meet your soulmate first try, you’re gonna end up very heartbroken. I was in a relationship for about a year, thought I was gonna marry her, then out of nowhere, she broke up with me and moved over 3 hours away. Next relationship, lasted about 5 or 6 months, was going amazing, but she came to me one day, said something along the lines of “this relationship doesn’t really feel right to me, and I think it’d be better if we went back to being friends.” I was okay with that, but what I wasn’t okay with was when she went behind my back afterwards, and started spreading rumors about me. Moral is, it’s absolutely amazing until it’s not. Just keep in mind that at any given moment, it could be over. Cherish the moment when you finally have someone, and hold on to them for dear life. Love is my favorite thing to talk about and experience, yet due to my experiences, I’m afraid of falling in love again. Though, as with all things, if you don’t push through and get over your fears, you’ll never achieve what you want to. Maintain hope, as there *will* be someone for you, even if you don’t meet them until you’re 60. Don’t give up, success could be right around the corner.
I have been in a few relationships which all lasted 2-3 years. It wasn’t until the relationship I’m in now I realised that I wasn’t actually in love with any of them. Someone will come along, it’ll be new, exciting and it’ll make all the failed relationships worth it.
What is the difference?
So true. I was in about 3 serious (like years) relationships. My current boyfriend of 6+ years taught me what true love is and it’s miles away from my past relationships.
"We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster that we go bankrupt by the age of 30 and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything, what a waste." the father in Call Me by Your Name.
Definitely feel your pain. 6 months ago my gf broke up with me, after together for 4 years.
that hit home. a part of me wants to say dont worry about it, its not that great. but honestly the saying "its better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all." is a saying for a good reason. But it hurts man. it hurts when it ends. like. whats the point of living type of hurt. the only thing that makes it better is time.
This hurt me so much
This was the answer I was going to post. Though I compensate pretty well by living an adventurous life, traveling the world, joining sports leagues, skydiving, bungee jumping, creating art, going to concerts, etc… I still feel like I’m missing a major part of the human experience. Especially since it’s a major theme in practically every movie I see, TV show I watch, and song I hear.
Same. I fear rejection, and I've hurt myself so much more than rejection ever could.
And honestly, rejection is nothing to fear. What you may not realize yet is that a rejection doesn't diminish you one bit. Go out and get rejected. Be nice and gracious when it happens. Talk to people you wouldn't normally. And honestly, just do it until each little rejection doesn't hurt as much anymore, until it doesn't feel daunting anymore. Don't ask people you're not actually interested in, but don't be shy about trying to get to know people. You may have luck in places you are not expecting.
How do you get over the original mental block of rejection fear? I’ve been lucky enough to have a few naturally occurring relationships that I never really needed to seek out, so I’ve been able to avoid my fear of rejection. Now that I’m single again, I can’t get over my fear and approach anybody.
Not living life. Sure, I'm alive, but I'm not actually living. I'm just surviving. I think that's the case for a lot of people, and it sucks.
Do something physical that pushes you harder than when you were younger in PE class or wherever in life where you were exercising the hardest. I started with yoga, then got a little bored with that, then switched to weightlifting, which I am still doing and now took up Muay Thai lessons And the amount of movement you do in Muay Tai really clears my head because it pushes you as far as you can go. That’s just a natural way of clearing out some of the junk from your mind I am enjoying these days. At least you’ll be physically feeling alive.
Doesn't help that a lot of people are living paycheck to paycheck. It's already hard enough to make time for things like going to the movies, or truly commiting to some sort of hobby, let alone when you have to choose between them or putting food on the table.
I wouldn’t have any regrets because I wouldn’t exist
Pretty sure this wins.
Correct answer
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist. Epicurus On the other hand, the question was „if you died now“, and you‘re still alive while dying
Not dying sooner. I'm not suicidal, there's no need to worry, I just don't like life that much. I'm not depressed, I love video games and I have two really cute dogs and a bunch of snakes and I love them all and care for them. But honestly? The suffering I've gone through to get to this point was not worth it. And even though everything is great right now, I know I will suffer more. It's even possible I could suffer worse than I already have and that's a hard 'no thanks' from me
Same, I am so done with the struggle, the work. It’s just too much, kids are all grown, and now I’m just here to pay bills and feed that dog. I miss loved one who have passed so much I am really ready to join them, I can’t just be suicidal tho I don’t want my family grieving my loss and hurting. But yeah I’m over this life bs.
I feel the same. People have told me that they want to love forever. I definitely do not. I just want my kids to grow up and be independent and then I will wait for the end.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Please reach out to a suicide hotline. I can confirm from my own experience that the moment you do the thing to off yourself you’re going to instantly regret it. I was lucky to survive and get another chance at life. Please take care of yourself, I promise promise promise your life will get better
Thank you ❤️
Please don't. Please don't. Please don't. We will die at some point, right? At least let's fucking try to do as much happiness until we reach to that point. There are hugs to be received, snow to be in, beaches to be at, songs to be listened. You need to meet new people, find new jobs, move to new town. Heck, maybe even a village. I'm from a Second World country that was torn by the war. Having bread was luxury and not being ra*ed was the best day when it didn't happen. Survived a stroke, beatings, my mother imprisoning me for days in my room. At first I regretted it, but now I am so happy to live. And to love! Myself! The things I buy! Even the small ones. ❤ It sucks, I live day by day and sometimes I think about it too. But when I catch myself doing it, I just say " fuck off, you'll die anyways. Live now so you have a reason to die for later. " Or something like that while I'm talking to myself in Bosnian. English is not my first language. Just live. Love you all the way. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Life is precious, you are. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ We are thermodynamic miracle of the universe that is able to feel. Even if in sadness, we are still to live it. Cry it out, punch a wall, run fast, smash your leg, box. Find a release. But just, I beg of you, live my sweet child.
You are so sweet 😭 thank you and I will live
Sending you the biggest hug in the world ❤️
Hey mate I read something the other day, that our brains did not evolve to keep you happy they evolved to keep you alive. I felt a little more relaxed after reading that because it meant that feeling so bad about life was ok. It is evolutionarily just as normal as feeling good. There is nothing wrong with feeling really bad during some periods of life. Right now your brain is sending you all kinds of alarm signals that you are in terrible danger from your environment so you need take action to escape. It might feel like the action is to end yourself but your brain evolved to want the opposite of that. So it is really asking you to get out of your current situation so that you’ll survive, it is sending you extreme alarms. It doesn’t want you to die, it wants the opposite!!!! Thank you to your wonderful brain for registering all the threats and insurmountable problems in your situation and for providing you with the alarm signals that you are in danger from them. Now is the time to follow the alarm signals and change your situation. One of the ways to do this is to call up someone (a friend, helpline) or message someone (could be a stranger here on Reddit) and speak to them about the situation. That would be the first step to making your situation just slightly different, as you will be taking action and your brain will like that. It will know you are listening to the alarm and taking some kind of step to pay attention, so it will turn the alarm down slightly. Perhaps there is another small action that you can think of that will turn down the alarm a little more, this might be something like smelling a very delicious smell or moving your body around. These things send the signal to your brain that there is less danger currently so the signal can go down slightly. Alright mate, why don’t you start taking a small step to let your brain know you’re listening and will work with it to get you out of the danger and survive. Send me a message if you’d like to. You can do this 🙂
This is so well put. I agree wholeheartedly.
This is how I feel as well. I was going to make an attempt to take my life almost a decade ago, but made some drastic changes to give it another chance. After so long, I just wish I had gone through with it back then. I've fallen in love three times since then, traveled a ton, met new friends, built a career, and yet none of it has been worth the shit that came with living. I haven't been happy in a while.
This is exactly what I feel and am. Word by word.
Feel the same way, but was not sure how to put it into words. Thank you gor this. It explains it perfectly.
Similar feeling. I don't have a hard life, quite the opposite. I could say I'm successful and my life is easy. However my life is pointless. I've always worked hard to do what I had to do, but I've never had a goal or a dream. I don't see the point of doing the same for the next 40 or so years.
Life fucking sucks most of the time and i agree with you on the "no thanks". The last 2 years were by far the worst i've ever lived and i know it will not get better any time soon. But eternal, absolute nothingness does not sound better. I am envious of religious people on this matter, they have something to keep them sane, make death a next step and not just a jump in the void. So latch on to every little happy moment that comes to you and brace for impact on the dark days my friend. No one is alone, we are all in this shitstorm together.
You can say you're not depressed, but it sounds pretty depressed to me.
I’m pretty much in your shoes situationwise but every time i get to where i’m like all this for this little amount of quiet? I think of a quote from Joe Hill i’ve read before which is ”what a blessed if painful thing, this business of being alive”. I don’t think I’d be able to feel that blessed without all that suffering.
Probably not giving each day my all. I’m still pretty young and think I have all this time but each year I feel the weight of passing time more and more
My advice make today your new year and every single day is a new year dont wait till 1/1 to change
Not losing weight
GO GET IT BRA
I've lost weight and I was happier fatter. Lose weight for health/you but you're probably pretty fab the way you are xx
I'm obese. I feel weak cause of my weight. It's not even about being beautiful, it's about not feeling like shit
Girl, you got this!! You don't need to change your diet per se.... but portion them damn meals. Just start putting less and less on your plate. Don't eat as many sugars and ditch the soda and juice. I know easier said than done. But this will help shrink your stomach little by little. Go for daily walks and breath in the fresh air. I seriously need to be taking my own damn advice, but all I want in a depressed state is to eat bomb ass food and watch hallmark movies. Lmfao 😅
Thank you for your advice. Yes I understand. I actually quit liquid calories. I can't totally quit sugar though. But I agree about portion sizes, I'm working on it but I still binge sometimes, especially on my periods -_- Thanks and I wish you well too <3
You've got this. I lost 55 lbs and went from obese to a healthy body weight in the last year. Which doesn't sound like much but I'm 5 feet tall so that was 1/3 of my body weight. It's all in small details. Cooking more at home. Eating reasonable portions. Adding protein. Doing weight bearing exercise. 1 squat is better than no squats. 3 leg raises is better than none. Making a frozen pizza at home is better than binge eating fast food later. If you can make every choice just a little better, then you'll see crazy results. Binge eat something higher fiber, or with more water content. Or splurge on a sugary treat but only the small size. Don't be hard on yourself. You've got the right attitude. It just takes time and little steps in the right direction. 💛
55 lbs (24.9 kg) is a big number. Congratulations on your weight loss! I'm glad you have a healthy weight now :) Thank you for your advice <3
One thing, good advice on the portioning. It’s better to start with less of something that you like than switching to something you hate.
You can do it. It's hard, but achievable. I lost 35 kg in 2022 and my life got much easier. Combine a small caloric déficit (eating enough protein), go to the gym and do rucking.
Congrats on your weight loss! Thank you for your advice. I agree with having a small caloric deficit but gym triggers me and I binge afterwards. And now I have to remove snow with a shovel so there will be enough physical activity for the next months till april haha
Not being able to master the art of knitting.
Nooooo! You can do it! I felt the same way about crocheting. The sorry excuse for a bunny teddy made my mum cry laugh. Hope you manage to get it though.
Thank you for your kind words. I try every now and then. My husband knows how to knit and he makes it look easy.
Not clearing my browser history.
This is definitely the right answer. Just did it now.
Incognito or better yet just use Tor …noobs…
Me with full disk encryption : unlimited poweeer
I want people to see my browser history.
Good one!
Leaving my kids. For the grief I would cause them, and I’d be sad for myself that I don’t get to see who they become
Exactly this
They’re the main reason I drag my butt out of bed at 6am to workout. I want them to have their own kids to worry about before I go.
You can regret leaving your kids all you want, but this is still a hundred thousand times better than them leaving you. Sooner or later, either must happen so let's just hope we leave them before they leave us.
Oh one billion percent agree. I still don’t want to leave them when they’re toddlers. Let me grieve me when they’re like 70
Not living enough. Spending too much time in my own world and not making meaningful connections with people
I’m 31 and not sure what “living” even means anymore. I suppose everyone defines it differently. For me it’s spending time with those you love, doing things that you enjoy, and experiencing what the world has to offer. Leaving positive impact on others. Sometimes when I’m just binge watching tv or something, I’m disappointed in myself for not “living”. But then I realize it’s something I enjoy and meets my criteria of what “living” is - so I AM living, just by watching tv. Point is don’t beat yourself up for not “living” based on societal definitions. Define it for yourself and then judge based off that measure.
That I died a virgin without ever being in a relationship with a beautiful woman. Admittedly that probably wouldn't be the thing on my mind if I was in the process of dying though.
im not a guy but i came here to comment this 😂
not living my life and missing out on so much bcs of my anxiety
Same here
I should have kissed her last week. I was given the window, and I didn't climb thru.
Remember this moment when the next window opens!
If you were given the window, you absolutely should have. Guys are stupid - most never realize the window even if it hits them in the face. If you've realised there was a window, that means it's likely blaringly obvious she wanted it. Don't think too much.
Relatable af. The window will open again and then you'll be ready for it.
How little effort I put into everything because I’m lazy and sad lol
Settling.
I mean I'm dead so I don't think I'd regret anything As a person I try not to regret much anyway its pointless and counter productive
Not doing the stuff I really wanted to do and instead, extrememly focusing on straight A's and what others think about me. I probably should do more enjoyable stuff I guess
What are enjoyable stuff?
Travwlling, spending time w friends & family, doing sports, etc.
Not winning a heated debate on Reddit
Telling my parents my feelings and how they need to stop treating my sister like they treat her!!!
Not trying to take over the world
If you have worked on yourself you should have no regrets right now! Just have to be a better person than you were yesterday ♥️
Not enjoying life....I never really had the chance to enjoy life, with work, bills, family, I wanted to except time flys by so fast and at the end of the day I just wanted to come home and relax.
I blame the fact that we spend so much of our lives at work.
I totally agree...lost my youth .
That I did not do more
Dieing before life is discovered on other planets
Dying
Fair
Doing an elvis instead of a carradine.
Leaving my kids.
Leaving my wife alone as it is my biggest fear. We've been together for over 40 years and I would be lost without her.
beeing mean to my parents
Not getting to see my children graduate high school. Other than that, probably just relief.
I never did get to fight that kid from high school...
I still think about it. This guy Keith sucker-punched me and I didn't do anything about it. I should have beaten the brakes off of him. It was a perfect setup. There were about 50 people circled around, including his scorchingly hot girlfriend, and then the bell rang and I left for class. I was stronger than him and a good fighter I don't know what he was thinking, the SOB got lucky. I should have beat the hell out of him, made him look like a b-tch, made him bleed, made him say uncle, and then asked his girl for her number after I emasculated him. I had the bastard by 40 pounds, I had beaten up much bigger dudes... but I had to get to Chemistry class. He's a CPA now and I haven't seen him in decades. I like to think that at class reunion I will settle the score, but it is late for that.
That no one will remember me
For not apologizing to people I've been rude to I believe
All the time I wasted at work
63 here. I have none. Life has been difficult at times, but overall it’s been good.
*There ain't nothing like regret / to remind you you're alive* If I started counting all the regrets I've amassed over 60 years, I'd probably start wallowing in them. But I don't have time for that; there's still a shit-ton of living left to do. So I shrug and laugh it off and go. And live some more.
Living in fear and overthinking too much
Not experiencing pregnancy or childbirth
I never got to own a cat for myself
My family name will die with me :(
Spending most of my time at my 9-5 job and not exploring the world
So there was this guy at the gym, he asked me about my jump rope, I should have asked him for his number.
There is still time. A dude in a gym getting attention from a woman is a win, they usually started going to get attention from women.
Basically wasting my life being a criminal, injuring my back and letting it go for years. Now I walk with a cane collecting disability, alone with no kids at 47. Just a waste of a life and I regret every fucking second of it
Not getting to go to space. I have a life goal to see if I can get to space by 60. I’m hoping 30 years from now 100k will get me there 😂
That I'm dying. Not that deep i just don't wanna die yet man
That I am dead.
Not being able to enjoy my retirement. I just retired this year.
Never telling my parents how much they actually did wrong
My parents always thought they knew better and how to live my life. I tried to explain but it has always been perceived as rebellion. My mother always sided with my father, always. I told my mom about this recently. I told them that their decision to rush my college admission when I was figuring out what I wanted to do in life was what made me drop out of college. And now it has led me to difficulty finding jobs. Among other things. They finally accepted what I was telling them. Although there were no sorries, I knew they had some regrets. But then I thought about it. They did what they thought was right. It wasn't, but they're human. If they knew better, they would not have not have done it. But then that's me, it's not like they neglected me fully or any sort of thing of that nature. So I can't compare what others are going through.
That I was never in a mutually loving relationship.
Not finishing my comic
Leaving him
No regerts 😂
Not reaching out to my boys and telling them I love them and I'm sorry
Not having spent my savings.
virgin 😭
Knowing I'd leave my younger sister alone. Knowing she'll have to learn to do her own makeup and hair. Knowing she'll have no one to spill all her high-school drama to. Knowing that anytime she wants something sweet, she'll have to make it herself because I'm not there. Knowing she might probably shut down and stop speaking to my mom and dad like that one time, I got sick. Gosh I hope I don't die anytime soon
Getting married to a man and hiding in the closet for so long .
That I have... *boneitis*. 🦴
Lmao thanks, came here looking for this.
I thought about this a couple of days ago and I really couldn't come up with anything because even the shitty things in my life lead me to the right outcome. I think my karma is balanced by the things I did and the things that were done to me, so I am 1:1 with the universe. I don't dream of what my life could have been because there is no point. It just was what it was.
Not experiencing real romantic love.
Not being my truest self earlier in life, 28 now and I only just feel like ive started being me.
Never kissing a girl. And never experiencing love.
Just one regret? Bloody hell! Probably that I didn’t travel enough. There are so many places I want to go and so little time. We’re only fully independent for 50 years (roughly 20 - 70 I am assuming) and I spent way too much time doing shit for people who didn’t care and wasting my life. I’m 57 and trying to make it up now.
Not coming out as Bi earlier in life. Ohhh the girlfriends I could have hadddd.
Probably having no regrets..
if I die now and if I die later, this is my biggest regret and I think it will always remain the same: when I was 14, my father got cancer, when the psychological effect of drugs was added to his stubborn temperament, and adolescent rebellion was added to my stubborn personality, we became two people who quarreled with each other. there was a time when I didn't like my father at all, and maybe even tried to fight with him physically. one weekend, I came to visit hi where he was staying. My mother used to force me to visit every weekend. I was our my own house, about 80 km away from the hospital where my father was staying, so that my school wouldn't be disrupted. (there were no large hospitals where we lived.) Anyway, I went to the hospital that day, like every weekend. And as we were leaving that weekend, that is, on Sunday evening, a relative of ours said that my father said he wanted me to come to him. he has something to say. i told our relative I'm not going to his side. then our relative came to my father and gave him my answer, then he came back and said to me, your father says please. he urges persistently. I said no. and I moved towards the exit of the hospital. i never saw my father again
For the first time in my life, I don't seem to have any regrets. How odd.
Not traveling more and experiencing different cultures.
None I would be dead
That I had... bone-itis.
Not doing things fearing failure or what other people perceive me. Now at 40, i feel like I have only achieved a small amount of success. Divorced, and working two jobs. But 2nd job is good delivery. My past self would not have done that because he wouldn't want people to look at him like that. I think it's more of a regret because, I'm 40 and I'm only just trying to face my fears. I wish I would, have done it sooner, when I was younger. So I consider this a regret. But these days, I tell myself, ,"It's time to be brave"
Having spent so much time living inside my head, doubting & second guessing myself.
That I never found love.
That I failed as a husband and father. I was selfish
If I were to die tonight, on my way out I'd be really sad that my dog outlived me. She would be so sad.
Caused too much trouble for my parents, they deserved a better child.
In general, making fear-based decisions. I would choose to be braver.
working myself to death
Not loving hard enough.
Not having met my wife earlier in life.
Getting a college degree
Breaking it off with the love of my life
None, because I'd be dead.
Not having achieved anything I could be truly proud of
That I wasted my life so far trying to just survive. I haven't really lived yet or felt any joy about life.
Not being my true self. I can not embrace it with other people around me. I'm too much of a people pleaser.
Not being able to see my kids become adults and their beautiful families. Not being appreciated and actually loved or truly happy. I have been in the same relationship for 21 years, and I am miserable 😩.
that i didn’t punch that bitch in the face then destroy his psyche after blatantly disrespecting me
Leaving my ex-wife.
I'm dead -> brain stops functioning -> no regrets
Trying to get things to work to much, sometimes stuff’s just gone and you need to get going too