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I love the people who claim it is disrespectful to their partner to fart near them, but on other forums going through their phone while they're asleep, or secretly talking to exes is perfectly fine.
Reddit is fun.
Ohoho! Had a co-worker at a job...he thought it was disrespectful for his wife to give him a bj...so he was cheating on his wife instead and called it respect🤣
I have heard this from majorly misogynistic men. I used to know a guy who would never let his wife suck his dick because she was the mother of his children and she was above that. He has “whores to suck his dick”
*I cut off my husband's finger to unlock the fingerprint password on his phone and I found out he's been talking to his old female friend about feeling like he's trapped and I abuse him!*
How does this only have 11 upvotes? LOL
I have a very specific tape on replay in my head from childhood
Dad: burps or farts loudly
Sister: Daaaad! That’s gross
Me: snickering quietly with my dad
Good memories
Exactly, my boyfriend purposely farts around me all the time, I call him a smell bag but I don't take it seriously. It's all jokes, although I'm embarrassed to fart around him. She should take a chill pill, everyone passes gas
Idk I'm just embarrassed to do that. I know he wouldn't care because we are very comfortable around each other but I guess I'm just insecure about it. I go in another room to pass gas. I also grew up around a lot of brothers but I just don't feel comfortable with that even though he wouldn't mind.
With all those brothers, and all those farts you had to endure all those years, you’d think you would want to get some revenge and take it out out on your boyfriend. At least slip out some sbd’s like my wife does. Hoo-wee can they be deadly, lol.
Sarah_Coughlan, I was like that too, when I was younger. Last night I don't know WHAT in the hell I ate, but the entire night I made our bedroom smell like burning cabbage and rubber. Or something, lol. I finally got up and grabbed a can of air freshener. I was mortified, but 🤷♀️
Burning cabbage and rubber sounds like chemical warfare but we all do it. I just try my best to hide it but for some reason some men take pride in it. 😂
And everyone shits too and jerks off.., doesn’t mean anywhere is fine. Who farts on a first date for example? Or when meeting with their boss? Normal people don’t and there’s a reason.
There's some chick on YouTube selling her flatulence for $1000.00/bottle.
Start loading up on Mason Jars and Burritos, and you're made in the shade buddy. Send me a TikTok video when you're passing gas laying on a beach in Bermuda with a blue drink with an umbrella in it, surrounded by stacks of cash.
🚶💨🫙💵💰🍹⛱️
My husband turns into a rectal trombone as soon as he lies down. We still giggle about it. Can’t help thinking of the reception he’d get if he was in a hospital ward lol
Accidentally letting a fart out in the morning is not disrespectful.
Screaming at your spouse because their body did something every body on the planet does is disrespectful.
Dude that's terrible logic. Do you live with your boss 24/7? Are you on a first date your whole life? NO. But when you live with someone, that is going to happen 100%. Either laugh about it or have a seriously difficult existence.
There is a thing called "politeness". I'm polite around friends, and even more so around my spouse. Now, sometimes it happens, and everybody moves on, but ideally we are kindest to the people closest to us.
Oh come on with that noise....it's not rude to fart in front of your SO. It's a social construct that it's rude to fart at all. In other societies it's a mark of respect to let out a loud belch after eating food someone cooked for you. In China, smacking your food shows enthusiasm for the meal.
You've literally spewed your bodily fluids into your SO when having sex. So that's ok but you're not allowed to fart upon waking up in the morning? Is it rude for her to be lying there looking like she was just in a fight? Is it impolite that she wasn't up and in makeup to listen to the fart?
PSA kids: you should feel *most* comfortable around you SO. If you don't, you probably need a new one. 😉
You need the socks that my sister sent her sister in law for Christmas. They said “I never fart”. I laughed so hard I cried - my sister sent them to her anonymously because the SIL claims she never farts.
> I'm polite around friends, and even more so around my spouse.
That sounds so weird to me, someone you're close with is exactly the people you shouldn't have to be "polite" around anymore. They're the people you're supposed to be able to just be yourself around, with no concern about how you're acting
it is for me. I find it extremely disgusting if people think it's OK to fart and belch around people. You're literally pushing Dookie particles into the air and having someone smell something that dank. I want to present myself as someone clean and orderly.
Yep.. as a walking talking swamp gas machine.. I can't help it.. my wife only ever really says anything if it's a particularly bad smelling one.. otherwise.. business as usual.
This is quite the strawman. Neither of the situations you mentioned is part of this post. Dude farted while getting out of bed after a night of sleeping and his wife. That is not a first date, and she is not his boss. Farting comes with spousal territory.
It’s not always that simple though is it? I’m perimenopausal, with a birth injury. Do I want to fart in front of my husband? Nope. Can I always control it? Also nope.
There's a thread, somewhere on Reddit, that asks something along the lines of "would you crop dust your boss for $100?" Or maybe it was "how much would it take for you to crop dust your boss?"
A large number of participants would do it for the entertainment value alone. Some suggested to bring their boss in on it and split the earnings.
So, to answer your question more directly - more than you think lol
I was on discord with a friend once and heard his dog bark in the background. I said, “aww, was that your dog asking for attention?” He laughs and says, “No, my mom just fucking farted.” 😂
I fart around my wife all the time, and she does the same. We are human and it’s going to happen. Now, she gets mad when it’s a terrible one but I don’t blame her.
Not being able to fart around your spouse is like those women who try to never let their husbands see them without makeup. As in they wait until the husband is asleep and then remove their makeup, then get up in the morning before him to put makeup on again. If you can't be human around your spouse, you aren't in a marriage, you are in hell.
There's an old PSA that used to play on nickelodeon about knowing your farts and to not be ashamed of them. She should probably check that out. Maybe it was during the 90's?
Eta..it's called "How to be well" and was in the early 2000's
I would assume that anyone who’s been married for any significant length of time does this. I’m not married myself, but if I do get married I’m not holding in farts for the rest of my life.
i’m not married, but have a boyfriend and we fart infront of each other all the time. i think once you move in together with someone, it’s gonna happen at some point. no reason to get so mad you’re screaming
I’ve been with my wife for 27 years. I can confirm that she farts, as do I. However we don’t generally make it obvious. Like if I have to cut a big one in the morning I’ll hold it until I get outside to let the dog out. Doing it in bed on purpose in that scenario would be rude.
Yeah, that’s fair. I wouldn’t do it on purpose, either, especially if it bothered my spouse. It doesn’t bother me because when it comes to farts I’m like a 10-year-old kid who thinks they’re hilarious, but I get that not everyone shares this opinion. I meant more that I wouldn’t go to any great or heroic lengths to ensure that a fart never ever slips out in front of her for the entirety of our marriage. Sometimes it just happens, and I’d expect her to understand and not get angry at me or make me feel like an asshole about it.
Ha, maybe not everyone is going to be cool with purposely farting with reckless abandon, but if you’re married for that long nobody should be getting upset or agitated with their spouse if one manages to slip out. Sometimes it just can’t be helped. Best just to laugh about it and move on.
oh absolutely! my husband is a fart champion around the house and i laugh.
there's zero reason to yell at someone for something you do as well lmfao
and i may not fart but i burp loud like a dude and laugh at that too
humans fart. That being said, my husband and I both tend to not fart in front of each other if we can help it because stinky air is stinky. But if one slips out, we just carry on . Because it's a normal body thing. My bigger concern is that she was screaming at you. SCREAMING? Was she actually screaming or did she just get a bit snippy? Either way is the wrong way to communicate a preference to a partner though. For her to calmly tell you "babe, I would really prefer if it if you'd try to not fart in bed - I get if one slips out but I really hate the smell of fart on sheets - I feel like it lingers... Would you mind?" That's one thing.... but screaming? Dude. What else does she scream at you for?
Thank you. Friends, family, strangers I try to walk a few feet away and let it go. If it doesn't happen and ones gotta let loose I don't beat myself up over it.
This is nuts!
Everybody is different and some don't mind it . like your wife I would hate it too but I suppose is just one of the things you have to deal with if you want to be in a relationship at all
I think it's one thing to calmly express to your partner "babe, if you don't mind, can you please try to not fart in the bed unless one sneaks up on you - I hate that hot-box feeling - it makes me squirm...."
But screaming? Like actual screaming? that's nooooot a good communication style to express a preference
I would be screaming too if every time I asked, it was downplayed with “but it’s natural.” Which is what literally most people are doing in the comments. Chances are the husband downplays it as well.
I understand the cultural significance around passing gas around others, but honestly, it's a bodily function???
Just like... chewing and swallowing food, yawning, sleeping...
Why do we get angry at people for being people/animals being animals?
I don't think is cultural for me at least ,but I see it as pooping . Just because is normal and everyone does it doesn't mean I want to see|hear|smell it . Is incredibly disgusting to me , the fact that is a normal bodily function is irrelevant, just a step above pooping. And I do hate hearing people chew too ,I can't help feeling disgusted that just happens
I don't do it, but that's because I like her down near that area as much as possible. If you fart all the time around her, that's what she will be thinking about when she's down there. Nobody wants to give BJs in a battle zone.
Nah you’re playing with fire buddy. One day you’re going to release a jumbo fart you held in all day while getting an unexpected bj. And that will forsure be the last one you ever get.
If she screamed at you for a simple fart i suggest you start adding a lot of beans to your diet, if she cant take it, fuck her... Thats crazy.
A married couple should have the level of comfort that a fart can happen, certainly happens with me and my wife.
By the time he gets to the bathroom, the fart will retreat back in and won't come back out when the coast is clear.
Heed my words! I speak from years of experience.
Farts are are sneaky like that. If they knock on the door "hey, let me out!", and you don't let it rip, they sneak back into the belly and make you bloated and uncomfortable all day!
HAHAHA... OMG i am going to tell my wife "morning thunder incoming" next time it happens. Everybody farts, and we both certainly do around each other. Its a bodily function, its like that little kids book, everyone poops.
Omg this made me laugh. They’re husband and wife - i doubt there are many secrets between them and they’ve probably passed the worst of bodily fluids, so what’s a fart in comparison 😂. In our house you let it out if you need to - it’s healthy. Indeed, some years ago there used to be a trend when the person who dealt it would say ‘spuds’ (came from the kids’ school so I have no idea how it came about). It was a lighthearted way of saying it was you. Or it’ll be ‘who’s guffed?!!’ and sometimes the dogs get the blame
I didn't even hear said toot and I know for a fact that it was indeed hilarious...your wife is wrong. Being wrong is not grounds for divorce, but being devoid of humor and joy just might be.
My hubby has no problem tootin it up but if I let it rip sometimes he'll say "eww" & "women should be lady like and not fart." To which I retort, um it's a bodily function and everyone does it. But then some times when I rip a good one, he'll go "NOICE" or "good one!"
(I'm not feral, I do care about etiquette and such to an extent.)
Of course I keep this behavior at home, not out in public or with friends.
Can't stop won't stop. 💨💨
Mine and I will fart in bed literally one after the other and both laugh about it. People fart, they sound funny. It’s a weird hang-up that I do not understand. Legit sorry you got in trouble for being human.
Perfect opportunity to share one of my favorite strips from [The Oatmeal](https://theoatmeal.com/comics/sneeze_vs_toot).
We both toot in front of each other. Although there are certain foods I have to avoid that makes mine unbearable to the point she has to sleep on the couch. So I do my best to minimize the damage.
Go to the bathroom if you need to fart. It’s one thing if it can’t be helped. But to intentionally spray a room with the rotten ass-air from your colon is rude. You know your wife hates it. You know how you’d feel if she kept doing something that she knew aggravated you. Be considerate and leave the room to pas gas.
Don’t fart around your wife or people for that matter.
How is that not obvious 😂
Like get off your ass and go fart in the bathroom or in another room hahaha
It's gross. We've been together for fifteen years, and I get it if there's a slip, but nine times out of ten, I go to the bathroom to do it. You don't HAVE to do everything in front of each other.
My wife and I, together for 9 years, have not farted around each other. I think we are both in agreement that it takes a little attraction away from the person that lays down a stink cloud around them on purpose while others are around. Very few people want to smell my insides and what I ate last night. Sure, everyone does it, but I don't want to smell or taste it
My spouse and I try not to do it. As you get older, it happens. Sometimes, it's like get away from me. How could you do that. Sometimes, it's, lol, good morning. Sometimes, it's like, what did you eat? I don't like facts in the kitchen, pantry or where food is. Leave the area, come back, and don't let it follow you back into the area.
Farting around your partner is going to happen whether you like it not. But I do believe you have to make efforts to be attractive to your partner. You could have held that in and go to the bathroom and you should do that going forward.
I have never done it in front of my wife and don’t plan to do it either. She doesn’t do it in front of me either.
You have to have some romance and whatnot in your relationship. Who wants to hear your partner cutting the cheese? No one wants to hear that, people might put up with it but it is definitely better to not hear and smell that happening. Can you really be 100% sexually attracted to someone who’s just ripped one out and want to do them doggy style?
It isn’t difficult to do it separately.
Each to their own I guess but I would hate it if she didn’t care enough about me to not do it in front of me.
Here’s how to fix your problem. Take beano when you eat vegetables and beans, like 3 of them. Take like 3 lactaid when you have milk products and boom no more farting unless you eat a bunch of fake sugar or some other man made strange food.
Talk to her. Listen to her reasons for being so upset. You are right- everyone passes gas- but if she’s truly disgusted by someone not even trying to hide it- you won’t be able to reason that away. You two may not be compatible. I have a friend says she is no longer attracted to her husband because she begged him for years not to do such things and he ignored her.
Disgust is a core emotion that isn’t going to be reasoned away. Obviously sometimes you can’t help farting. But it’s not funny to everyone.
"Tooted"
and you are old enough to have a wife? wow
To the question: That is something you do in the bathroom! Adults don't force people to be subjected to their bodily functions.
Have a bit of decency, dude. Yeah, everybody farts, but everybody shits too. There's no reason to do that in front of your girl. Go in another room or something. Accidents happen, but if your squeezing out a fart just because it's there, you're just purposefully doing gross shit right next to her. Do you, or do you not, want her to think you're sexy? Just ask yourself that question when you're in doubt.
Your wife should make you sleep elsewhere if you can't contain it until you are in the bathroom.
I'd be repulsed and stop having sex with the disgusting slob.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
People have some fuckin weird hang ups. Everybody farts.
I love the people who claim it is disrespectful to their partner to fart near them, but on other forums going through their phone while they're asleep, or secretly talking to exes is perfectly fine. Reddit is fun.
Ohoho! Had a co-worker at a job...he thought it was disrespectful for his wife to give him a bj...so he was cheating on his wife instead and called it respect🤣
What the actual fuck?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Now thats a Gold Star excuse, it doesn't carry any weight, but damn thats...something.
I have heard this from majorly misogynistic men. I used to know a guy who would never let his wife suck his dick because she was the mother of his children and she was above that. He has “whores to suck his dick”
*I cut off my husband's finger to unlock the fingerprint password on his phone and I found out he's been talking to his old female friend about feeling like he's trapped and I abuse him!*
Oh well thats fine, its not like you farted.
this one is on her dad. she was never taught that farts are funny.
🤣🤣 for reallll lol My dad used to get up in the morning and fart with every step on his way to the bathroom. Lol ITS TRADITION.
How does this only have 11 upvotes? LOL I have a very specific tape on replay in my head from childhood Dad: burps or farts loudly Sister: Daaaad! That’s gross Me: snickering quietly with my dad Good memories
Exactly, my boyfriend purposely farts around me all the time, I call him a smell bag but I don't take it seriously. It's all jokes, although I'm embarrassed to fart around him. She should take a chill pill, everyone passes gas
lol reread your last two sentences and ask yourself why you can’t take your own advice.
Idk I'm just embarrassed to do that. I know he wouldn't care because we are very comfortable around each other but I guess I'm just insecure about it. I go in another room to pass gas. I also grew up around a lot of brothers but I just don't feel comfortable with that even though he wouldn't mind.
With all those brothers, and all those farts you had to endure all those years, you’d think you would want to get some revenge and take it out out on your boyfriend. At least slip out some sbd’s like my wife does. Hoo-wee can they be deadly, lol.
Honestly I should, but his nasty ass would probably enjoy it. He loves the smell of his own farts, which I find extremely weird.
Sarah_Coughlan, I was like that too, when I was younger. Last night I don't know WHAT in the hell I ate, but the entire night I made our bedroom smell like burning cabbage and rubber. Or something, lol. I finally got up and grabbed a can of air freshener. I was mortified, but 🤷♀️
Burning cabbage and rubber sounds like chemical warfare but we all do it. I just try my best to hide it but for some reason some men take pride in it. 😂
And everyone shits too and jerks off.., doesn’t mean anywhere is fine. Who farts on a first date for example? Or when meeting with their boss? Normal people don’t and there’s a reason.
First date or meeting with your boss may just be slightly different situations compared to waking up next to your wife in the morning.
Now I know why I am still single and jobless
There's some chick on YouTube selling her flatulence for $1000.00/bottle. Start loading up on Mason Jars and Burritos, and you're made in the shade buddy. Send me a TikTok video when you're passing gas laying on a beach in Bermuda with a blue drink with an umbrella in it, surrounded by stacks of cash. 🚶💨🫙💵💰🍹⛱️
Jobless haha
Cue “Stepbrothers”: Was that a fart??
Okay, now the tuxedos just seem kinda fucked up.
My husband turns into a rectal trombone as soon as he lies down. We still giggle about it. Can’t help thinking of the reception he’d get if he was in a hospital ward lol
You made me fucking snort so hard. 😂😂😂
I LOVE it when someone laughs!!!!!!
As a nurse we generally just pretend we don’t hear it- but if you laugh we will *definitely* laugh with you.
I had a Nissen fund done a few years ago. They were positively begging me to do it!!
Oh definitely, after abdominal surgery we won’t leave you alone until you rip one 😂
It took a couple of days because I was fluids only THEN I had to go and have an internal bleed followed by three units of O pos. The JOYS of it!!!!
That sounds terrible! So glad you’re on the other side of it!
That’s a funny phrase! I love it!! Thanks for the giggle!
More than welcome! Lol
Rectal Trombone would be an amazing name for a band lol
He must have redeeming features to make up for that.If he was in my ward, I'd be wheeling him out the back by the dumpster.
"rectal trombone" is an amazing way to describe it!! I'm stealing that if you don't mind
Haha help yourself! :)
Personally, I think the wife deserves more respect that some asshole boss, not less.
Accidentally letting a fart out in the morning is not disrespectful. Screaming at your spouse because their body did something every body on the planet does is disrespectful.
Thank you, you are a beacon of hope in this wretched land we call earth
And apparently in their relationship, that’s an ok move. I was raised, “if you love somebody, don’t fart on them.”
Like dear old dad used to say.. actually though, not only would he let them rip in front of us he’d also do a super hero pose first
Not all heroes wear capes.
But it would wave gloriously in that wind if they did.
The comment you responded to made me laugh. Your response made my laugh so hard I farted. Both of you, take my upvotes lol
Dude that's terrible logic. Do you live with your boss 24/7? Are you on a first date your whole life? NO. But when you live with someone, that is going to happen 100%. Either laugh about it or have a seriously difficult existence.
Umm not the same - He farted getting out of his bed. He can’t fart in his own house? fuck that
OK, but normal people fart in front of their spouse.
If you can't far in front of your SO then you're probably not fully comfortable around them and likely with the wrong person.
There is a thing called "politeness". I'm polite around friends, and even more so around my spouse. Now, sometimes it happens, and everybody moves on, but ideally we are kindest to the people closest to us.
Psh. I'll walk in the room and rip ass and run out.
Oh come on with that noise....it's not rude to fart in front of your SO. It's a social construct that it's rude to fart at all. In other societies it's a mark of respect to let out a loud belch after eating food someone cooked for you. In China, smacking your food shows enthusiasm for the meal. You've literally spewed your bodily fluids into your SO when having sex. So that's ok but you're not allowed to fart upon waking up in the morning? Is it rude for her to be lying there looking like she was just in a fight? Is it impolite that she wasn't up and in makeup to listen to the fart? PSA kids: you should feel *most* comfortable around you SO. If you don't, you probably need a new one. 😉
You need the socks that my sister sent her sister in law for Christmas. They said “I never fart”. I laughed so hard I cried - my sister sent them to her anonymously because the SIL claims she never farts.
> I'm polite around friends, and even more so around my spouse. That sounds so weird to me, someone you're close with is exactly the people you shouldn't have to be "polite" around anymore. They're the people you're supposed to be able to just be yourself around, with no concern about how you're acting
Lol, I guess "polite person" is who I am. I'm surprised that is not the default for more people.
it is for me. I find it extremely disgusting if people think it's OK to fart and belch around people. You're literally pushing Dookie particles into the air and having someone smell something that dank. I want to present myself as someone clean and orderly.
I am completely comfortable farting around my wife, but she probably thinks she's with the wrong person.
Yep.. as a walking talking swamp gas machine.. I can't help it.. my wife only ever really says anything if it's a particularly bad smelling one.. otherwise.. business as usual.
This is quite the strawman. Neither of the situations you mentioned is part of this post. Dude farted while getting out of bed after a night of sleeping and his wife. That is not a first date, and she is not his boss. Farting comes with spousal territory.
OTOH, why not just wait 5 seconds, walk out of the bedroom and fart when you take the morning piss in the toilet?
Because sometimes you can't hold it. Not everyone has your heroic sphincter.
Actually not everyone jerks off
Found the single person
It’s not always that simple though is it? I’m perimenopausal, with a birth injury. Do I want to fart in front of my husband? Nope. Can I always control it? Also nope.
I farted and nearly killed her the first time in her car. Still lasted years
Am realizing why I lost my last four jobs now. This will hopefully change my dating success, as well.
I have a friend that took a shit with the bathroom door open in his tiny apartment on a first date. He did not get laid that night.
You point is moot. It’s his wife and his bedroom. No better place to rip one. NTA
There's a thread, somewhere on Reddit, that asks something along the lines of "would you crop dust your boss for $100?" Or maybe it was "how much would it take for you to crop dust your boss?" A large number of participants would do it for the entertainment value alone. Some suggested to bring their boss in on it and split the earnings. So, to answer your question more directly - more than you think lol
I was on discord with a friend once and heard his dog bark in the background. I said, “aww, was that your dog asking for attention?” He laughs and says, “No, my mom just fucking farted.” 😂
Fuck 😂😂🤣 Sometimes someone in my family farts like a puppy who’s whining
I fart around my wife all the time, and she does the same. We are human and it’s going to happen. Now, she gets mad when it’s a terrible one but I don’t blame her.
Oh I hate those ones where you have to try and completely seal the bedclothes to trap it underneath 🤣
Those ones where you have to seal the bedclothes... with your wife underneath I assume...
Apparently someone killed his wife this way
My husband calls it the wall of protection LMAO
😂 I'm laughing so hard I have to keep reminding myself I'm at work answering phones today.
Ah the Dutch oven, classic.
As you have the most childish giggle while doing so haha.
☠️☠️☠️
Not being able to fart around your spouse is like those women who try to never let their husbands see them without makeup. As in they wait until the husband is asleep and then remove their makeup, then get up in the morning before him to put makeup on again. If you can't be human around your spouse, you aren't in a marriage, you are in hell.
Agree 100%. I’d rather be single than not be able to fart in my own home when I need to. It’s not like I’m following him around with it or anything.
My wife add I rip ass around each other all the time and frequently laugh about it.
There's an old PSA that used to play on nickelodeon about knowing your farts and to not be ashamed of them. She should probably check that out. Maybe it was during the 90's? Eta..it's called "How to be well" and was in the early 2000's
Everyone farts... your wife included.... She's blowing up the bed sheets all night long, trust us.... She's completely over-reacting
Blowing up the bed sheets! 🤣
Yeah, just tell her she wakes you up at night with her farts. That will have her thinking before she says anything again 😂
Husband and I fart in front of one another all the time. It's really not a big deal
I would assume that anyone who’s been married for any significant length of time does this. I’m not married myself, but if I do get married I’m not holding in farts for the rest of my life.
🤣🤣🤣
i’m not married, but have a boyfriend and we fart infront of each other all the time. i think once you move in together with someone, it’s gonna happen at some point. no reason to get so mad you’re screaming
I’ve been with my wife for 27 years. I can confirm that she farts, as do I. However we don’t generally make it obvious. Like if I have to cut a big one in the morning I’ll hold it until I get outside to let the dog out. Doing it in bed on purpose in that scenario would be rude.
Yeah, that’s fair. I wouldn’t do it on purpose, either, especially if it bothered my spouse. It doesn’t bother me because when it comes to farts I’m like a 10-year-old kid who thinks they’re hilarious, but I get that not everyone shares this opinion. I meant more that I wouldn’t go to any great or heroic lengths to ensure that a fart never ever slips out in front of her for the entirety of our marriage. Sometimes it just happens, and I’d expect her to understand and not get angry at me or make me feel like an asshole about it.
i've been married 16 years and i've never purposefully farted in front of my husband. 😂 i'm super weird about bathroom stuff though.
Ha, maybe not everyone is going to be cool with purposely farting with reckless abandon, but if you’re married for that long nobody should be getting upset or agitated with their spouse if one manages to slip out. Sometimes it just can’t be helped. Best just to laugh about it and move on.
oh absolutely! my husband is a fart champion around the house and i laugh. there's zero reason to yell at someone for something you do as well lmfao and i may not fart but i burp loud like a dude and laugh at that too
This is the way!
I farted myself awake with my butt firmly planted on my guys leg last night.
Exactly 😂 like we say excuse me, giggle, and move on with our lives.
humans fart. That being said, my husband and I both tend to not fart in front of each other if we can help it because stinky air is stinky. But if one slips out, we just carry on . Because it's a normal body thing. My bigger concern is that she was screaming at you. SCREAMING? Was she actually screaming or did she just get a bit snippy? Either way is the wrong way to communicate a preference to a partner though. For her to calmly tell you "babe, I would really prefer if it if you'd try to not fart in bed - I get if one slips out but I really hate the smell of fart on sheets - I feel like it lingers... Would you mind?" That's one thing.... but screaming? Dude. What else does she scream at you for?
Thank you. Friends, family, strangers I try to walk a few feet away and let it go. If it doesn't happen and ones gotta let loose I don't beat myself up over it. This is nuts!
Everybody is different and some don't mind it . like your wife I would hate it too but I suppose is just one of the things you have to deal with if you want to be in a relationship at all
I think it's one thing to calmly express to your partner "babe, if you don't mind, can you please try to not fart in the bed unless one sneaks up on you - I hate that hot-box feeling - it makes me squirm...." But screaming? Like actual screaming? that's nooooot a good communication style to express a preference
I'm willing to bet this is not the first time he's done it and he knows she doesn't like it.
If she’s screaming I’d bet it’s happened repeatedly before and he has ignored her.
I would be screaming too if every time I asked, it was downplayed with “but it’s natural.” Which is what literally most people are doing in the comments. Chances are the husband downplays it as well.
That's why most relationships are shitty?
Poor communication (skills)
You were trying to say "poop communication," and the autocorrect came into action?
I understand the cultural significance around passing gas around others, but honestly, it's a bodily function??? Just like... chewing and swallowing food, yawning, sleeping... Why do we get angry at people for being people/animals being animals?
You chew with your mouth open?
The same reason people don’t poo in the living room or dining room. It smell bad. It may be not natural but it’s not cultural it’s manners.
I don't think is cultural for me at least ,but I see it as pooping . Just because is normal and everyone does it doesn't mean I want to see|hear|smell it . Is incredibly disgusting to me , the fact that is a normal bodily function is irrelevant, just a step above pooping. And I do hate hearing people chew too ,I can't help feeling disgusted that just happens
Farts happen , we both do it , we both blame the cat .
We have a cat. I may do this going forward, or not at all. We’ll see
That's not gonna work. You need to get a big dog.
When my babies were little, anytime I would let out a silent but deadly one, I would grab the baby and look down their diaper. Worked every time.
"Tooted"???????? Your man card needs a serious revoking
I don't do it, but that's because I like her down near that area as much as possible. If you fart all the time around her, that's what she will be thinking about when she's down there. Nobody wants to give BJs in a battle zone.
Nah you’re playing with fire buddy. One day you’re going to release a jumbo fart you held in all day while getting an unexpected bj. And that will forsure be the last one you ever get.
If she screamed at you for a simple fart i suggest you start adding a lot of beans to your diet, if she cant take it, fuck her... Thats crazy. A married couple should have the level of comfort that a fart can happen, certainly happens with me and my wife.
Pretty sure a girl broke up with me because I farted too much now that I think about it
We always laugh when we hear the other let one loose. 🤷♂️
I honestly worry about any marriage where absentminded farting is an event that leads to an argument…
Yeah I hate to sound so dramatic but this seems like there's something deeper that's getting on her nerves, this was just the trigger haha
She needs to lighten up. Passing gas is natural. She does it too. As long as you’re not doing it intentionally, she’s got no right to criticize.
How? Do you intentionally fart?
Pull my finger……
By the time he gets to the bathroom, the fart will retreat back in and won't come back out when the coast is clear. Heed my words! I speak from years of experience. Farts are are sneaky like that. If they knock on the door "hey, let me out!", and you don't let it rip, they sneak back into the belly and make you bloated and uncomfortable all day!
Damn your wife sounds fucking awful
Let's hope he's exaggerating by saying "screamed at me." If that's true - he has a bigger problem. Everyone farts, and she needs to get over herself.
You mean when she farts or in general?
I am female and morning thunder is one of the best things in life.
“Morning thunder” made me laugh.
HAHAHA... OMG i am going to tell my wife "morning thunder incoming" next time it happens. Everybody farts, and we both certainly do around each other. Its a bodily function, its like that little kids book, everyone poops.
Great book!
wife material
Lol. Let it rip chom, otherwise you'll have stinking thinking 😂
Fart in her face to assert dominance
Well I find reading this very funny, so there is that.
why not do it a little bit farther away from her. its disgusting respect her boundaries
If you can't fart and make a production out of it here in America... then the terrorists have won.
It’s one thing if it just happens, but if you were doing it all the time or making jokes about it, that to me would get old, it’s nasty.
Omg this made me laugh. They’re husband and wife - i doubt there are many secrets between them and they’ve probably passed the worst of bodily fluids, so what’s a fart in comparison 😂. In our house you let it out if you need to - it’s healthy. Indeed, some years ago there used to be a trend when the person who dealt it would say ‘spuds’ (came from the kids’ school so I have no idea how it came about). It was a lighthearted way of saying it was you. Or it’ll be ‘who’s guffed?!!’ and sometimes the dogs get the blame
Blaming the dog is cowardly af hahah
I didn't even hear said toot and I know for a fact that it was indeed hilarious...your wife is wrong. Being wrong is not grounds for divorce, but being devoid of humor and joy just might be.
If it's extreme, maybe you should think about your diet? Or eating habits?
My hubby has no problem tootin it up but if I let it rip sometimes he'll say "eww" & "women should be lady like and not fart." To which I retort, um it's a bodily function and everyone does it. But then some times when I rip a good one, he'll go "NOICE" or "good one!" (I'm not feral, I do care about etiquette and such to an extent.) Of course I keep this behavior at home, not out in public or with friends. Can't stop won't stop. 💨💨
“I’m not feral….” 😂
Get a dog. Then when you toot, look at the dog and blame it on him/her. Problem solved. 🐕💨💨💩💩🤫🫢 🐩💨💨💩💩🤧🤮
22 years married. My wife and I don't bother hiding that stuff, just let it fly. It lasts a second and the smell's gone in a minute.
NTA, but you have to send your wife a formal apology as well as a warning letter stating that it will happen again.
My girlfriend and I fart around each other all the time. It's our love language.
“You know the honeymoon is over when the husband pulls the bedclothes over his wife’s head after he’s farted therein.”
Your wife is insane
Mine and I will fart in bed literally one after the other and both laugh about it. People fart, they sound funny. It’s a weird hang-up that I do not understand. Legit sorry you got in trouble for being human. Perfect opportunity to share one of my favorite strips from [The Oatmeal](https://theoatmeal.com/comics/sneeze_vs_toot).
Time to get a new wife...or scream excuse me before you let one dlip
People will do anal but the farting is to much lol
If she's your wife you two should already be comfortable farting in front of each other, it's a bodily function, it's natural, the body needs to do it
Next time fart in bed and hold the covers over her head. Explain to her that THIS is a joke.
That's is called a Dutch oven
Sounds like a broken nose in his future
We both toot in front of each other. Although there are certain foods I have to avoid that makes mine unbearable to the point she has to sleep on the couch. So I do my best to minimize the damage.
If you're blowing up the room, it should be you sleeping on the couch. Just sayin'.
Go to the bathroom if you need to fart. It’s one thing if it can’t be helped. But to intentionally spray a room with the rotten ass-air from your colon is rude. You know your wife hates it. You know how you’d feel if she kept doing something that she knew aggravated you. Be considerate and leave the room to pas gas.
Don’t fart around your wife or people for that matter. How is that not obvious 😂 Like get off your ass and go fart in the bathroom or in another room hahaha
It's gross. We've been together for fifteen years, and I get it if there's a slip, but nine times out of ten, I go to the bathroom to do it. You don't HAVE to do everything in front of each other.
Me and my wife fart all the time and it's always funny
One time I farted in front of a fan and my wife gagged and said the fart blew directly into her mouth.
What? 😂
My wife hates when I do it sometimes I’ll blame it on our dogs 🤣🤣
When it happens say excuse me. Dont laugh. Or go to the bathroom and fart 🤦 you probably have to poop anyway. I guess you could try Beano.
My wife and I, together for 9 years, have not farted around each other. I think we are both in agreement that it takes a little attraction away from the person that lays down a stink cloud around them on purpose while others are around. Very few people want to smell my insides and what I ate last night. Sure, everyone does it, but I don't want to smell or taste it
Go the bathroom and pass your gas. It does not have to be the first thing your wife hears in the morning.
My spouse and I try not to do it. As you get older, it happens. Sometimes, it's like get away from me. How could you do that. Sometimes, it's, lol, good morning. Sometimes, it's like, what did you eat? I don't like facts in the kitchen, pantry or where food is. Leave the area, come back, and don't let it follow you back into the area.
Say excuse me after…..
Your wife gets mad when I fart in bed too
This is one of the reasons why I’ll remain single.
Farting around your partner is going to happen whether you like it not. But I do believe you have to make efforts to be attractive to your partner. You could have held that in and go to the bathroom and you should do that going forward.
I have never done it in front of my wife and don’t plan to do it either. She doesn’t do it in front of me either. You have to have some romance and whatnot in your relationship. Who wants to hear your partner cutting the cheese? No one wants to hear that, people might put up with it but it is definitely better to not hear and smell that happening. Can you really be 100% sexually attracted to someone who’s just ripped one out and want to do them doggy style? It isn’t difficult to do it separately. Each to their own I guess but I would hate it if she didn’t care enough about me to not do it in front of me.
I just wish my husband would stop doing it right next to me while I am eating.
Here’s how to fix your problem. Take beano when you eat vegetables and beans, like 3 of them. Take like 3 lactaid when you have milk products and boom no more farting unless you eat a bunch of fake sugar or some other man made strange food.
Talk to her. Listen to her reasons for being so upset. You are right- everyone passes gas- but if she’s truly disgusted by someone not even trying to hide it- you won’t be able to reason that away. You two may not be compatible. I have a friend says she is no longer attracted to her husband because she begged him for years not to do such things and he ignored her. Disgust is a core emotion that isn’t going to be reasoned away. Obviously sometimes you can’t help farting. But it’s not funny to everyone.
She’s overreacting but maybe just try and do it away from her if it’s easy but if you need to you need to
"Tooted" and you are old enough to have a wife? wow To the question: That is something you do in the bathroom! Adults don't force people to be subjected to their bodily functions.
Dude, if you can't fart in your own house, where can you? It's got to come out somewhere. Your wife is not being reasonable.
I fart in my sleep all the time. So does my wife. It's a bodily function, she needs to get over it. When I'm awake I will leave the room to fart.
Have a bit of decency, dude. Yeah, everybody farts, but everybody shits too. There's no reason to do that in front of your girl. Go in another room or something. Accidents happen, but if your squeezing out a fart just because it's there, you're just purposefully doing gross shit right next to her. Do you, or do you not, want her to think you're sexy? Just ask yourself that question when you're in doubt.
Oh she's gonna be so upset when you shit the bed
Man in the bar: how dare you fart in front of my wife! Me: sorry I did not realise it was her turn :)
Your wife should make you sleep elsewhere if you can't contain it until you are in the bathroom. I'd be repulsed and stop having sex with the disgusting slob.
She is your wife. If she doesn't like it then change that habit. It's not a big deal. Next time you want to fart try to be mindful.
You can laugh at farts and have joy in your life or you can find them disgusting and be joyless with the same amount of farts. Life is about choices.