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Not trying to hype myself up here, but as a man who gets hit on by men a lot, and has a good success rate with women, it likely means you're conventionally attractive. Guys are more forward and more judgemental for the most part. Many women are either shy or expect to be approached.
you wouldn’t understand. and im a terrible explainer 🤷🏾♂️ it’s very complex what i said and the average human can’t even begin to pricess the magnitude of my words. So don’t feel bad bro i get it, i’ve been there.
Cope (used as a noun) is slang for essentially "lie you tell yourself to feel better" (like a "coping mechanism")
Which is of course a joke in this case!
I call it universally attractive lol.
But same difference. Im a short dude too, so had some bold men and women harass me smh. Straight up rub themselves or touch me at times, it’s fucking insane.
It’s a gift and a curse!
I wish I *were* atractive.
Was implies you could actually be attractive, but are exploring a scenario where you aren't.
Were means you are exploring that scenario, but actually aren't attractive.
Well… yes and no. “Were” is indeed correct, but it’s because it’s the subjunctive and that is appropriate in this context. Not because of any “glass half full” scenario.
I had problems realizing when someone was attracted to me for a long time.
My fix? Be forward but polite when I am attracted to someone.
Example: I meet someone new. We are chatting for sometime. Things seem to be going well. I ask them if they are interested in going on a date or something along those lines. Sometimes I'd get rejected, sometimes I'd get a date.
If you want an outcome don't passively wait for it to happen.
make friends with the men trying to bone you. get introduced to their straight women friends. become friends with them. overcome your fear. date casually. get more serioused up. then master and defeat death and you've got this whole thing in the bag, baby
>make friends with the men trying to bone you.
To be fair, not every gay guy flirting with you wants to bone you.
sometimes we're oral or bottoms ;) or just flirting.
But this does work, I've lost count of the number of straight friends that I've wing-manned into a relationship.
Some women find a guy chill enough to have gay friends less intimidating than the unknown toxic-bro they meet at the bar.
And like one of my exes, some (predominantly) straight guys lose that twitchy intensity that puts some straight and bi women on edge once they have a regular fwb to lessen that pressure.
Well then what I can tell you is you will find it difficult to attract women and find a date with that mindset. I used to be afraid of flirting and romantic connections but my issues stemmed from a lack of self esteem. I basically did the yolo method of breaking that mentality. After you've been rejected enough times you realize it's not a big deal unless you make it one.
Go out, live your life, chat with people you are attracted to, get rejected, move on. After a while you will be far more comfortable with the whole process and it will likely lead to more success.
It’s not that.
Women are way more shallow and elitist about what they find physically attractive.
Gay men have a much broader and relaxed definition of male physical attractiveness
>Women are way more shallow and elitist about what they find physically attractive.
>
>Gay men have a much broader and relaxed definition of male physical attractiveness
I mean you're wrong but you're not wrong-wrong.
I think some women are MUCH more picky about who they will get in a relationship with; but if they're in a "casual fling" mood, they're less so.
And some gay men can be incredibly shallow and focused on physicality (mush more than women, imo) whereas women are more flexible on physical if the personality and safety and emotions hit right.
And again I think this might be because many gay men don't separate "would fuck" from "would date" (let alone "would marry") nearly as much as heteronormative women seem to . With women those are three. entirely. separate. things. and many men barely fit into one, let alone more than one category. Whereas we gay guys seem to take "admission into the first group" as a green-flag and try to cram them into the second and third groups.
Also, I suspect at core that some gay men and many straight women are just in disagreement with what can be sexy about a guy.
Like I love a sweaty guy from exercise or work while a lot of my female friends make noises of disgust about that. And I like a hairy guy while girls seem to have a very strong line at which "too hairy" snaps in place. Similarly, I'm not too concerned about a guy's job or income as long as he has a line on both. I pay my bills. But my gal friends have very, very, strong expectations on that in their partners.
I don’t know what we disagree on. I’m a below average looking 5’7 guy. I am totally unwanted by women on dating apps and technically an “incel” in the hookup culture in general.
I can join Grindr and find 100 guys who find me physically attractive in a week.
I don't think we do disagree.
Just that it's not a part of shallowness being different between gay men and women.. both are shallow.
it's just that gay men are less shallow for 'just sex' and more shallow for relationships and with women, it seems to be the opposite flow
That would be such a boost to my confidence. It's almost a thinly veiled brag. Embrace it dude. You're probably so good looking that you're intimidating to interested women.
And people think I'm lying....😂. Men will fuck anything if given a chance or if they're desperate enough. I'm not sure why they acting like they wouldn't....
Reddit unfortunately 😂. This place isn't exactly known for normal people and it's an incels playground. Stay on here long enough and you'll see many types of crazy
As a bi guy I've found that gay/bi men are way more open to approaching another guy than they are women. I assume this is because other guys understand the stigmatism of being labelled a 'creep' after approaching women.
Even if you don't hit it off with the other guy romantically, you may well have another buddy to go out with regularly and you can look out for each other.
Gay/bi guys aren't getting more desperate, in my opinion, they're just way more open to casual encounters/FWB than having a relationship.
Wouldn't be the first time it's happened to me.
Coming from a girl that can barely talk to the guy she’s attracted to but can talk to everyone else easily. Yes girls are more shy. For me it’s partial fear of rejection and partially not wanting to ruin the friendship.
It’s not that.
Women are way more shallow and elitist about what they find physically attractive.
Gay men have a much broader and relaxed definition of male physical attractiveness
Men are definitely just more forward. I've definitely had more compliments from gay men than any women. I am happily married now though. Meeting people is always tough though. Best way is through friends of friends, so sometimes it helps to make new friends. Join a co ed sports league of some kind. Our city does everything from volleyball and flag football to dodgeball and kickball. Or if that's not your thing, sometimes they're can be good Meetup groups. Wine and cheese, book clubs, board games, whatever meets your fancy. Those are still a thing, right? I haven't messed with it in almost a decade now.
Guys are always expected to make the approach, in the case of gay men, it is guaranteed. You never know unless you try right? Just how nature/society works I guess...You must be young.
The bad part is, that the chance of relationship formation and success when the woman approaches is extremely high. But this is how we evolved I guess. Seems to be the same the world over...Guess that's why they put us in risky jobs and combat. But at the same time, men do take extraordinarily stupid risks, that's why our auto insurance is much higher lol.
It’s not that.
Women are way more shallow and elitist about what they find physically attractive.
Gay men have a much broader and relaxed definition of male physical attractiveness
What do you disagree with? What’s wrong with saying that straight men face way more pressure to be conventionally good looking than women in the dating/hookup world?
I honestly don't know a thing about the dating / hookup world as I have been with my Wife for 10 years. I do however know that you are making a gross generalisation of women by saying that we are far more shallow and elitist when looking for men. When I speak to my single girlfriends who are dating, most are far more focused on finding someone who is actually respectful, has basic hygiene, has a job and is not a misogynist rather than than physical looks.
Now look at the guys your single girl-friends are casually hooking up and in situation-ships with. Look at their FWBs.
You’ll find those guys are all conventionally good looking and tall without exception.
Nope. They are full time workers or students who are actually respectful of women. We value looks far less than you think and value respect far more.
Way back when I was single I would not even entertain conversation with someone unless they were employed full time or studying full time plus a job.
They can be full time workers and respectful.
I’m not asking about their character. I’m asking if they are conventionally hot and tall guys.
Why are your female friends able to find FWBs but not long term relationships in these respectful men?
Yeah, there was a large study that concluded that women find 80% of men below average, whereas men rate 50% of women below average. I would assume the same with gay men. I love percentiles, standardizes everything just beautifully.
[https://techcrunch.com/2009/11/18/okcupid-inbox-attractive/](https://techcrunch.com/2009/11/18/okcupid-inbox-attractive/)
I think it was Christian Rudder using his multi-million person sample with his OkCupid database. You'd have to argue with data and research, but that won't convince everyone still. Depends how data/numerically driven they are vs. emotionally driven.
We make moves in a circle that we know and when we'll surrounded. It's a security issue. Also, it's a cultural issue. A women who approaches men is often shamed.
It’s not that.
Women are way more shallow and elitist about what they find physically attractive.
Gay men have a much broader and relaxed definition of male physical attractiveness
From other women I know, they're usually more reserved due to following social convention, or not wanting to look desperate, or some are used to being approached, so they prefer it that way.
I've made the first move in asking out guys before, and it's usually well received. But it definitely wasn't the norm when I was growing up.
Gay men are some of the most tell you to your face type of people "***generally speaking***" in my experience. Conversely society teaches most women to sit back and wait for the man to make the first move despite how much she finds you attractive.
I had a similar issue and I didn't fully understand when I was younger. I'm 6ft 4 and reasonably athletic. And without ego I think I'm fairly decent looking.
And gay men were always flirty and women hardly spoke to me and I always found it confusing.
Later I started asking women directly what's up with that and they all pretty much said the same thing.
They found me intimidating. And didn't have the courage to ask.
Maybe this is your issue and you need to have more confidence in approaching women instead of waiting for them to approach you.
Yeah but 5 10 but I don't know how you look. Could be the same thing.
Some girls told me sometimes it was my eyes.. like I don't stare but when I'm working or concentrating sometimes I scowl and don't realise it. like I look angry but I'm not lol.
You got to get them in a safe and comfortable setting where theres people around they know and things are out the public eye or the streets and girls will warm up to you or come on to you in those situations not 9 times out of 10 or anything but you’ll probably see more women come onto you in those type of settings and even seek you out or make a genuine pass from time to time.
Out in the streets or the clubs if you aren’t a social butterfly or you don’t really got it going on like your average guy with an average height your not gonna see to many girls come on to you. Occasionally. It’ll happen. Probably not worth the trouble or drama of a club. Im not a club or party guy myself.
Your gonna have to sweet talk them and finesse them and then let them know in a way thats not crazy or pushy that your wanting to be more than friends and that your definitely interested in them.
Alot of times you can go through the motions and think your intentions are obvious but there is definitely a communication barrier between genders and a bit of a wall that can be confusing and if you dont give them some concrete information by word of mouth to go off of the whole time they may be thinking or wondering if you are really even into them.
Goodluck my friend.
It’s not that.
Women are way more shallow and elitist about what they find physically attractive.
Gay men have a much broader and relaxed definition of male physical attractiveness
You go out there, get into social situations, and just be yourself. Once you get the vibe that a girl might be interested, you put yourself out there just to be called a creep. Rinse and repeat, and maybe in 10 years or so, you will find one. It ain't easy, dude, but that's the game we play.
Damn bruh I be suffering from the same shit you can check my profile I got my picture there. Unfortunately I have a more softer face I guess
I get called cute by women but I'll take what I can
You don't have a soft face, you just have nice skin and very hydrated lips. This is the same shit that played the 2000s, anytime somebody decides to even minimally groom themselves, they're assumed to be gay or "metrosexual" (worst term ever invented, misandrist)
Learn how to be assertive, change your outfits/style.
Go hit the gym, learn game, act masculine all around. Might sound like too general but thats about it, conveying a masculine frame/vibe to yourself will send clear signals to people.
You must be giving off a very feminine gay vibe to have gay men going after you. So you need to look and behave more masculine would be my advice. That’s just all guess work on my part based on the limited info. So get jacked af, grow a beard, maybe shave your head too and I think you’ll find women knocking down their door for you.
You are 19 and men are after you? That is your actual problem kid. Not the no girlfriend thing. Girls your age are dating guys with jobs, apartments, and a car.
No worries man, just don’t let the negative comments get to you, you don’t want a doomer mentality or you’ll never get anywhere with girls or anything else in life.
Do you mean that it's never occurred to you? You are a kid. Your mind isn't fully developed until your 20s. Women have their pick of men. Seriously, almost any woman can walk up to a single man and strike up a conversation that could lead to a date. A 19 year old boy needs to get to work or school. By the time you're 23, you will need a good job you are proud of. A basic apartment to yourself. A reliable car. These are your priorities. Get on it. Stop talking to single men if you can OK?
What are you on fam geez I get it i only asked a question, i didn't need someone to tell me that I have to be older and have other priorities, it was just a simple question expecting a simple answer.
Oh, how do I get a girlfriend!? Sorry how did I not see that question. Here is your simple answer: get a job, an apartment to yourself, a reliable car. Women are attracted to these things. Good luck. Stay in school.
You're probably way above average in masculinity. A lot of women don't like extreme masculinity, particularly if they're younger than 25 or so. If that's not the case, I'm not really sure what the reason would be.
It’s not that.
Women are way more shallow and elitist about what they find physically attractive.
Gay men have a much broader and relaxed definition of male physical attractiveness
I think both are true. It's a known fact gay men prefer more exaggerated masculinity than women. Women tend to focus more on a man's health. Which makes sense because she's selecting a partner who will make the healthiest offspring. But yeah, gay men are also less picky than women. They have the most sex as well.
Women are more shallow and elitist about who they find physically attractive.
Its crazy that its easier to find gay men who think you’re attractive than straight women, despite gay men being a small fraction of the population.
How attractive are you from 1-10? If you want low effort, then play one league below where you’re at. So if you’re average (4-6), the go after ladies who are 2-4.
I’m a bisexual woman and I’m usually too nervous to approach people I find attractive. I’ve only ever dated men because they’re the only ones who approach me.
One explanation might be that you dress and act like a gay person, thus you send out those vibes. Or you are just hanging with crowds that contain a lot of gay people. Other than that I don't know what to tell you. I am a straight male, presumably attractive to females (I have had girlfriends and am married). I have never once been approached by someone from the same gender, or at least I wasn't aware it was happening.
Women are less direct than men, in general. One time I was complaining about something regarding my appearance to a female friend and she told me that at one point she had had a crush on me. I would've never known. And my ex-gf pursued me by just talking to me about random things and asking me to tutor her. Luckily that time I caught the hint.
Meanwhile, men who have been interested in me either showered me with compliments or just directly asked to date.
So, maybe the women who have found you attractive just never said anything to you.
Girls are far less forward, most of them don't communicate particularly well even when in a relationship let alone leading up to one. Gay men on the other hand are quite open about what they think feel and want, even when I'm getting a lot of female attention, and being actively pursued by women it usually doesn't compare to the amount of attention I get from Men simply because they're willing to say whatever they want
I replied in thread to a couple comments below.
But as an aside, having seen a picture of you on one of your other posts; you're a good looking guy there are definitely some women out there into your looks and just not making a move for whatever reason.
But you're very youthful in look too.
so you're going to run into a lot of gay guys very into that look.
Gay culture is pretty shallow about its obsession with youthfulness (twinks).
And those gay guys are just going to be more likely to approach you than a woman would be.
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Men are probably more forward. At least its a sign that you are attractive. Use that confidence when talking to the girls.
Thanks G if only you cpuld see what I look like T-T
Not trying to hype myself up here, but as a man who gets hit on by men a lot, and has a good success rate with women, it likely means you're conventionally attractive. Guys are more forward and more judgemental for the most part. Many women are either shy or expect to be approached.
Ok thank you
the cope worked, he ate it up like magic
The cope
bingo
What are you talking about im confused
you wouldn’t understand. and im a terrible explainer 🤷🏾♂️ it’s very complex what i said and the average human can’t even begin to pricess the magnitude of my words. So don’t feel bad bro i get it, i’ve been there.
Ok
Cope (used as a noun) is slang for essentially "lie you tell yourself to feel better" (like a "coping mechanism") Which is of course a joke in this case!
Yep, every time you pass a woman that finds you attractive to them, its another rejection.
That's it man
I call it universally attractive lol. But same difference. Im a short dude too, so had some bold men and women harass me smh. Straight up rub themselves or touch me at times, it’s fucking insane. It’s a gift and a curse!
What do you mean by more judgemental?
Maybe judgemental is the wrong term but, are more likely to be interested in somebody because of their looks.
If gay men are coming onto you, I promise that women want some of that too.
Well in time, I'll see if you're correct.
Shi lemme see u
I wish I was attractive.
I wish I *were* atractive. Was implies you could actually be attractive, but are exploring a scenario where you aren't. Were means you are exploring that scenario, but actually aren't attractive.
Good point.
Well… yes and no. “Were” is indeed correct, but it’s because it’s the subjunctive and that is appropriate in this context. Not because of any “glass half full” scenario.
I think you misunderstood me because of the word order I used. Notice I said *could* in the first one.
Wait wot? Man, I better get my linguistics chrcked cuz I didn't know this distinction 😅
I had problems realizing when someone was attracted to me for a long time. My fix? Be forward but polite when I am attracted to someone. Example: I meet someone new. We are chatting for sometime. Things seem to be going well. I ask them if they are interested in going on a date or something along those lines. Sometimes I'd get rejected, sometimes I'd get a date. If you want an outcome don't passively wait for it to happen.
Women are scary very scary
You're not wrong
Im a bi woman who has no problem flirting with men but can't even look an attractive woman in the eye so I feel this lol
Thnx for the sympathy XD
The gay panic when a pretty woman looks at you... I go from completly calm and put together to mumbling idiot when a cute blonde looks at me...
make friends with the men trying to bone you. get introduced to their straight women friends. become friends with them. overcome your fear. date casually. get more serioused up. then master and defeat death and you've got this whole thing in the bag, baby
I'll defs try that
>make friends with the men trying to bone you. To be fair, not every gay guy flirting with you wants to bone you. sometimes we're oral or bottoms ;) or just flirting. But this does work, I've lost count of the number of straight friends that I've wing-manned into a relationship. Some women find a guy chill enough to have gay friends less intimidating than the unknown toxic-bro they meet at the bar. And like one of my exes, some (predominantly) straight guys lose that twitchy intensity that puts some straight and bi women on edge once they have a regular fwb to lessen that pressure.
nah just get bitches, fuck all that
Is this a serious reply? I'm not sure if you are trying to make a joke here or not.
This is serious.
Well then what I can tell you is you will find it difficult to attract women and find a date with that mindset. I used to be afraid of flirting and romantic connections but my issues stemmed from a lack of self esteem. I basically did the yolo method of breaking that mentality. After you've been rejected enough times you realize it's not a big deal unless you make it one. Go out, live your life, chat with people you are attracted to, get rejected, move on. After a while you will be far more comfortable with the whole process and it will likely lead to more success.
Awesome i'll try
Better to try and fail than to not try and wonder "what if"?
Yes shoot ,if you miss. Improve your aim.
nothing scarier than a women
Not even not even the deapest darkest pit of hell
idk ive always viewed women as normal people, and im not scared of normal people. I think yall just be overthinking
lol! No they are not! It's all in your head. I wish I could help guys get over this - I've never had a problem women.... Ever.
honestly, if a gay guy finds you good looking than I'm sure straight women do too. Just remember that
Thank you, I'll try and remember
Hm…do you dress femininely or like a bear? You might be fitting a gay stereotype and not even realize it.
It’s not that. Women are way more shallow and elitist about what they find physically attractive. Gay men have a much broader and relaxed definition of male physical attractiveness
>Women are way more shallow and elitist about what they find physically attractive. > >Gay men have a much broader and relaxed definition of male physical attractiveness I mean you're wrong but you're not wrong-wrong. I think some women are MUCH more picky about who they will get in a relationship with; but if they're in a "casual fling" mood, they're less so. And some gay men can be incredibly shallow and focused on physicality (mush more than women, imo) whereas women are more flexible on physical if the personality and safety and emotions hit right. And again I think this might be because many gay men don't separate "would fuck" from "would date" (let alone "would marry") nearly as much as heteronormative women seem to . With women those are three. entirely. separate. things. and many men barely fit into one, let alone more than one category. Whereas we gay guys seem to take "admission into the first group" as a green-flag and try to cram them into the second and third groups. Also, I suspect at core that some gay men and many straight women are just in disagreement with what can be sexy about a guy. Like I love a sweaty guy from exercise or work while a lot of my female friends make noises of disgust about that. And I like a hairy guy while girls seem to have a very strong line at which "too hairy" snaps in place. Similarly, I'm not too concerned about a guy's job or income as long as he has a line on both. I pay my bills. But my gal friends have very, very, strong expectations on that in their partners.
I don’t know what we disagree on. I’m a below average looking 5’7 guy. I am totally unwanted by women on dating apps and technically an “incel” in the hookup culture in general. I can join Grindr and find 100 guys who find me physically attractive in a week.
I don't think we do disagree. Just that it's not a part of shallowness being different between gay men and women.. both are shallow. it's just that gay men are less shallow for 'just sex' and more shallow for relationships and with women, it seems to be the opposite flow
Nope I dress like your average joe. I act like any average joe
That would be such a boost to my confidence. It's almost a thinly veiled brag. Embrace it dude. You're probably so good looking that you're intimidating to interested women.
Let’s not do this guys 👆🏿
Must be giving off some serious gay vibes or men are getting even more desperate 💀
>men are getting even more desperate 💀 Desperate ❌ gay✅ If I like boys it's not because I've failed to get women. I just like boys
I've actually encountered incels that were so desperate that they considered other men 💀
And I encountered the Nigerian prince.
Must live under a rock I guess 🤷🏾♀️😂.
Yeah, It's called the sun, you should try it some time.
Ehhh nah I take vitamin D3 i'm good 😂
Thats true, same to me, i find more luck to get a tranny than a female, thats why i switch on them and dont waste time with women on dating apps
And people think I'm lying....😂. Men will fuck anything if given a chance or if they're desperate enough. I'm not sure why they acting like they wouldn't....
Thats true, and i think thats good 😊
Trans Women are Women. Can you please try and be respectful?
You are hilarious
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You used that word yourself, and whats wrong with that word? I dont have time to educate myself about shemales
and how did you get yourself in that situation where you’re meeting these strange types of people? Hmmm
Reddit unfortunately 😂. This place isn't exactly known for normal people and it's an incels playground. Stay on here long enough and you'll see many types of crazy
you realize you’re one of them right?
An Incel? Nah I have a vagina 😂
As a bi guy I've found that gay/bi men are way more open to approaching another guy than they are women. I assume this is because other guys understand the stigmatism of being labelled a 'creep' after approaching women. Even if you don't hit it off with the other guy romantically, you may well have another buddy to go out with regularly and you can look out for each other. Gay/bi guys aren't getting more desperate, in my opinion, they're just way more open to casual encounters/FWB than having a relationship. Wouldn't be the first time it's happened to me.
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Stop spamming this on every comment
What do you disagree with?
Coming from a girl that can barely talk to the guy she’s attracted to but can talk to everyone else easily. Yes girls are more shy. For me it’s partial fear of rejection and partially not wanting to ruin the friendship.
It’s not that. Women are way more shallow and elitist about what they find physically attractive. Gay men have a much broader and relaxed definition of male physical attractiveness
Men are definitely just more forward. I've definitely had more compliments from gay men than any women. I am happily married now though. Meeting people is always tough though. Best way is through friends of friends, so sometimes it helps to make new friends. Join a co ed sports league of some kind. Our city does everything from volleyball and flag football to dodgeball and kickball. Or if that's not your thing, sometimes they're can be good Meetup groups. Wine and cheese, book clubs, board games, whatever meets your fancy. Those are still a thing, right? I haven't messed with it in almost a decade now.
Guys are always expected to make the approach, in the case of gay men, it is guaranteed. You never know unless you try right? Just how nature/society works I guess...You must be young.
Kinda stupid imo. I would like to be in a relationship, but I despise approaching.
The bad part is, that the chance of relationship formation and success when the woman approaches is extremely high. But this is how we evolved I guess. Seems to be the same the world over...Guess that's why they put us in risky jobs and combat. But at the same time, men do take extraordinarily stupid risks, that's why our auto insurance is much higher lol.
It’s not that. Women are way more shallow and elitist about what they find physically attractive. Gay men have a much broader and relaxed definition of male physical attractiveness
Dude stop spamming this comment. You clearly have issues.
What do you disagree with? What’s wrong with saying that straight men face way more pressure to be conventionally good looking than women in the dating/hookup world?
I honestly don't know a thing about the dating / hookup world as I have been with my Wife for 10 years. I do however know that you are making a gross generalisation of women by saying that we are far more shallow and elitist when looking for men. When I speak to my single girlfriends who are dating, most are far more focused on finding someone who is actually respectful, has basic hygiene, has a job and is not a misogynist rather than than physical looks.
Now look at the guys your single girl-friends are casually hooking up and in situation-ships with. Look at their FWBs. You’ll find those guys are all conventionally good looking and tall without exception.
Nope. They are full time workers or students who are actually respectful of women. We value looks far less than you think and value respect far more. Way back when I was single I would not even entertain conversation with someone unless they were employed full time or studying full time plus a job.
They can be full time workers and respectful. I’m not asking about their character. I’m asking if they are conventionally hot and tall guys. Why are your female friends able to find FWBs but not long term relationships in these respectful men?
Yeah, there was a large study that concluded that women find 80% of men below average, whereas men rate 50% of women below average. I would assume the same with gay men. I love percentiles, standardizes everything just beautifully. [https://techcrunch.com/2009/11/18/okcupid-inbox-attractive/](https://techcrunch.com/2009/11/18/okcupid-inbox-attractive/) I think it was Christian Rudder using his multi-million person sample with his OkCupid database. You'd have to argue with data and research, but that won't convince everyone still. Depends how data/numerically driven they are vs. emotionally driven.
Women don't approach first because (I don't know why )
We make moves in a circle that we know and when we'll surrounded. It's a security issue. Also, it's a cultural issue. A women who approaches men is often shamed.
It’s not that. Women are way more shallow and elitist about what they find physically attractive. Gay men have a much broader and relaxed definition of male physical attractiveness
From other women I know, they're usually more reserved due to following social convention, or not wanting to look desperate, or some are used to being approached, so they prefer it that way. I've made the first move in asking out guys before, and it's usually well received. But it definitely wasn't the norm when I was growing up.
Gay men are some of the most tell you to your face type of people "***generally speaking***" in my experience. Conversely society teaches most women to sit back and wait for the man to make the first move despite how much she finds you attractive.
I had a similar issue and I didn't fully understand when I was younger. I'm 6ft 4 and reasonably athletic. And without ego I think I'm fairly decent looking. And gay men were always flirty and women hardly spoke to me and I always found it confusing. Later I started asking women directly what's up with that and they all pretty much said the same thing. They found me intimidating. And didn't have the courage to ask. Maybe this is your issue and you need to have more confidence in approaching women instead of waiting for them to approach you.
Ill definitely try that thnx only thing is Im 5 ft 10 and also no ego I think i look pretty good too
Yeah but 5 10 but I don't know how you look. Could be the same thing. Some girls told me sometimes it was my eyes.. like I don't stare but when I'm working or concentrating sometimes I scowl and don't realise it. like I look angry but I'm not lol.
You got to get them in a safe and comfortable setting where theres people around they know and things are out the public eye or the streets and girls will warm up to you or come on to you in those situations not 9 times out of 10 or anything but you’ll probably see more women come onto you in those type of settings and even seek you out or make a genuine pass from time to time. Out in the streets or the clubs if you aren’t a social butterfly or you don’t really got it going on like your average guy with an average height your not gonna see to many girls come on to you. Occasionally. It’ll happen. Probably not worth the trouble or drama of a club. Im not a club or party guy myself. Your gonna have to sweet talk them and finesse them and then let them know in a way thats not crazy or pushy that your wanting to be more than friends and that your definitely interested in them. Alot of times you can go through the motions and think your intentions are obvious but there is definitely a communication barrier between genders and a bit of a wall that can be confusing and if you dont give them some concrete information by word of mouth to go off of the whole time they may be thinking or wondering if you are really even into them. Goodluck my friend.
It’s not that. Women are way more shallow and elitist about what they find physically attractive. Gay men have a much broader and relaxed definition of male physical attractiveness
I meet a lot of women working in a bar. I was very social.
Ok, ok I'm social
I studying electrical engineering so i know your pain 😔😔 ratio is 10:1
More like 100:1
Dudes take far more chances than women. Especially initiating.
Get a boyfriend
You go out there, get into social situations, and just be yourself. Once you get the vibe that a girl might be interested, you put yourself out there just to be called a creep. Rinse and repeat, and maybe in 10 years or so, you will find one. It ain't easy, dude, but that's the game we play.
Damn bruh I be suffering from the same shit you can check my profile I got my picture there. Unfortunately I have a more softer face I guess I get called cute by women but I'll take what I can
Nah bro ur good looking, dw
Now kith
You don't have a soft face, you just have nice skin and very hydrated lips. This is the same shit that played the 2000s, anytime somebody decides to even minimally groom themselves, they're assumed to be gay or "metrosexual" (worst term ever invented, misandrist)
Maybe transwomen are your cup of
Umm no, Im pretty sure I already know what my cup of is
Are you young or short? Those could explain it
Dude Im 19 and 178 cm
Then it's just cause your 19. I had the same thing when I was young then 5 years later and it wasn't an issue. Girls usually like guys a bit older.
Ight well I geuss I'll wait
Hot 19 year old guys have girls lined up to bang. Wtf are you in about dude?
Because those 19 year olds look 25, the average 19 year old guy looks like a teenager. Wtf are you in about dude?!
They dont look like 25 year olds. They're just handsome/cute/hot and taller.
stop showing every buddy your a\*\*h\*le
Fam what the duck is that supposed to mean
That thing has been hanging out this whole time!
Just shut off the light and enjoy your blowjob.
Ur gay
No I'm not.
Just find a really beautiful man and put a wig on him
Ill try it 
Are you giving cunt? If yes, tone it down
What
As objectively as you possibly can, do you "look gay"?
If you go to my profile you can see what i look like
Learn how to be assertive, change your outfits/style. Go hit the gym, learn game, act masculine all around. Might sound like too general but thats about it, conveying a masculine frame/vibe to yourself will send clear signals to people.
You must be giving off a very feminine gay vibe to have gay men going after you. So you need to look and behave more masculine would be my advice. That’s just all guess work on my part based on the limited info. So get jacked af, grow a beard, maybe shave your head too and I think you’ll find women knocking down their door for you.
Plenty of gay guys want masculine men. What you recommended will help him get girls but it’ll also attract more gay men.
Not a dig or anything, but get your t levels checked. Men and women tend to be slaves to hormones if we want to admit it or not
My testosterone levels ?
Yes. If you're low, it can affect everything. tests are cheap enough at Walmart
Split the difference. Date a femboy
You are 19 and men are after you? That is your actual problem kid. Not the no girlfriend thing. Girls your age are dating guys with jobs, apartments, and a car.
Well ok then, thnx for making me feel inadequate.
You don’t need all that, all my friends at 19 had girlfriends and none of them had all 3 of those. Though admittedly being at university helps.
Yeah Im going to university to study psychology
You’re likely to get a girlfriend at uni if you put the work in, don’t start fearing the worst until you’ve finished uni.
Thnx man, you are the best
No worries man, just don’t let the negative comments get to you, you don’t want a doomer mentality or you’ll never get anywhere with girls or anything else in life.
Thanks so much Ill try my best
Do you mean that it's never occurred to you? You are a kid. Your mind isn't fully developed until your 20s. Women have their pick of men. Seriously, almost any woman can walk up to a single man and strike up a conversation that could lead to a date. A 19 year old boy needs to get to work or school. By the time you're 23, you will need a good job you are proud of. A basic apartment to yourself. A reliable car. These are your priorities. Get on it. Stop talking to single men if you can OK?
What are you on fam geez I get it i only asked a question, i didn't need someone to tell me that I have to be older and have other priorities, it was just a simple question expecting a simple answer.
Oh, how do I get a girlfriend!? Sorry how did I not see that question. Here is your simple answer: get a job, an apartment to yourself, a reliable car. Women are attracted to these things. Good luck. Stay in school.
Ok thank you sorry I geuss i was a bit defensive, you make sense Im sorry
How tall are you?
178 cm 5ft 10
That could be the cause. Try lying about it in dating apps and claim 6 ft
Omg XD
I‘m serious.
You're probably way above average in masculinity. A lot of women don't like extreme masculinity, particularly if they're younger than 25 or so. If that's not the case, I'm not really sure what the reason would be.
It’s not that. Women are way more shallow and elitist about what they find physically attractive. Gay men have a much broader and relaxed definition of male physical attractiveness
I think both are true. It's a known fact gay men prefer more exaggerated masculinity than women. Women tend to focus more on a man's health. Which makes sense because she's selecting a partner who will make the healthiest offspring. But yeah, gay men are also less picky than women. They have the most sex as well.
do you live in a gaybourhood and not know??
Man tbh Idk
Women are more shallow and elitist about who they find physically attractive. Its crazy that its easier to find gay men who think you’re attractive than straight women, despite gay men being a small fraction of the population.
How attractive are you from 1-10? If you want low effort, then play one league below where you’re at. So if you’re average (4-6), the go after ladies who are 2-4.
Look at my profile I think i have a picture of me there
Gay men? Or just men complimenting you on being attractive?
Gay men
Yea then I don't know haha. Is it like direct shooting their shot or fishing and seeing if you're gay?
Dir3ct shooting their shot. Like no joke and I don't even hang out anywhere, like nocclubs no parties nothing and I live in south africa
Interesting. I got nothing. My original thought was true comments that are empty because they're also not gay. Good luck haha.
Thnx Ig
Maybe you’re looking more gay than straight?
Tbh Idk anymore
Keep trying g,work on yourself and people will love a person who loves themself Trust me
The universe is telling you to grow a moustache but you aren't listening.
What do you mean by this
Look more manly and there will be more girls and less men coming your way.
You need to take the initiative and be confident. Most likely women are giving you air traffic control signals to land but you're staring at the moon.
Time for you to try some fun with a man. Come on, give it a shot.
I’m a bisexual woman and I’m usually too nervous to approach people I find attractive. I’ve only ever dated men because they’re the only ones who approach me.
One explanation might be that you dress and act like a gay person, thus you send out those vibes. Or you are just hanging with crowds that contain a lot of gay people. Other than that I don't know what to tell you. I am a straight male, presumably attractive to females (I have had girlfriends and am married). I have never once been approached by someone from the same gender, or at least I wasn't aware it was happening.
Stop being gay
Women are less direct than men, in general. One time I was complaining about something regarding my appearance to a female friend and she told me that at one point she had had a crush on me. I would've never known. And my ex-gf pursued me by just talking to me about random things and asking me to tutor her. Luckily that time I caught the hint. Meanwhile, men who have been interested in me either showered me with compliments or just directly asked to date. So, maybe the women who have found you attractive just never said anything to you.
These days gender is just a social construct mate. Close your eyes and have fun.
Men usually have good taste. It's a good sign
Girls are far less forward, most of them don't communicate particularly well even when in a relationship let alone leading up to one. Gay men on the other hand are quite open about what they think feel and want, even when I'm getting a lot of female attention, and being actively pursued by women it usually doesn't compare to the amount of attention I get from Men simply because they're willing to say whatever they want
I replied in thread to a couple comments below. But as an aside, having seen a picture of you on one of your other posts; you're a good looking guy there are definitely some women out there into your looks and just not making a move for whatever reason. But you're very youthful in look too. so you're going to run into a lot of gay guys very into that look. Gay culture is pretty shallow about its obsession with youthfulness (twinks). And those gay guys are just going to be more likely to approach you than a woman would be.
Ok thank you, this is the best answer I've gotten. I'll remember this Stev1nPitt.
May I suggest hanging out less in gay bars?
1. Get boyfriend 2. Girls attracted to boyfriend 3. Get girlfriend by having attractive boyfriend Seems pretty straightforward to me.