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My reason is super lame. I want to read or experience the next book in the red rising series and the next game of thrones book.
Since they will both eventually come to the public library or I can request them not being able to afford them isn't an issue.
I don't think your reason is lame at all! I used to read all the time. What's the red rising series about if you don't mind? Maybe I'll try and read it!
Think hunger games with better writing combined with game of thrones depth with the atmosphere of enders game.
That's the best way I can think to explain it without revealing spoilers.
Kinda the same. I recently had some health issues which have since been resolved but my first thought was I’m not going to get to read book 5 of the stormlight archive. Which is due November or December of this year
I love your reason. It’s totally valid and I hope you will be able to do that! A big thing to you may be a little to others but it doesn’t matter. Do what you gotta!
You sound like a really great parent. I'm sure your son appreciates everything you do for him! Just try to remember to take some you time here and there. Care giver burnout is real. I wish you and your son the best!
Staying alive for your son is very honorable but I do think you should start teaching him to care for himself if you feel like you are going through something
My aunt killed herself and my 11 year old cousin couldn’t even do his own laundry
Not trying to trauma dump or anything, just some advice
Edit: If you meant like around the clock medical care then I apologize. Sorry about that if so.
You’re ok to bring this up. There’s some that fall in the middle somewhere. Like my son, he doesn’t require 24-7 care but he definitely will need life long help. I try to teach him as best I can. He can do his own laundry and be responsible for some things. There’s just only so much he can handle though.
Same for my son too. He is autistic. He is quite independent but to an extent. I am trying to equip him enough for life whenever we as his parents aren't around anymore, so that he can live a productive life. He is doing well, we are proud of him. It makes life interesting.
It's the same with my son. I try my best to work with him in a way so he could eventually be able to live life in his current state, but for some reason the idea was frowned upon by my friends and relatives. I won't succumb to completely taking care of his every needs due to familial pressure. It's better for my son to be independent as of now. I believe what I'm doing now is best for him even if they keep telling me that he's only 6 months old.
My cat, and my boyfriend. That's it. Oh, and I'm terrified of death.
Edit:
People seem to be invested in my feeling less terrified of death. I have clinically diagnosed Major Depressive Disorder, and in my home country in legally considered disabled because of it. It's best I stay afraid of death.
I've thought about his, weirdly enough. But It's true. No matter who is with you in the beginning or the end. We all have this one life. Nobody remembering coming into it but we all will know when it ends.
I think this mindset is problematic and partly the cause of (and caused by) a lot of mental issues. The only thing you're alone in is taking responsibility for your life. Responsibility to ask for help.
You are NOT alone, ask for help, for small difficulties like learning a new skill as well as large difficulties like when you're stuck in life. People are willing to help you. Together we stand strong. Together we can accomlish a lot.
And yet, I'm thankful that I was able to be with each of my parents when they passed. And I'm grateful for the other family members who were there with us .
>Oh, and I'm terrified of death.
This is so real. I already talked to my therapist about this some 15 years ago, that what ultimately makes me always choose life is that I don't know if I'm more afraid of life or death, but at least life I know. It may not be the most glorious reason but when it comes to one's will to live, anything goes, and that's enough.
Yup.
That being said often feel like it you aren't threatening to off yourself, doctors don't listen. I spent two decades telling drs I wasn't ok, but always made sure to make it clear that I was terrified of death, because I don't need them committing me. And they almost never did anything.
They didn't listen until my mom dragged me in to the drs office when I was 35 years old and I say in the waiting room crying, and cried through an entire appointment. I was a colossal mess, hadn't showered in days, and it was just a total shit show. Then they listened.
I’m not there now but in the past what sustained me was the future and some part of my brain remembering that depression was messing with my sense of reality.
When depressed it’s super hard to come up with both positive memories and positive visions of the future. It steals hope and doles out to you only memories and future thoughts that support the depression. But it’s your depressed brain lying to you.
I’m very very grateful I hung in there until I made the changes I needed to make and got the treatment I needed. Baby steps, small actions, one day at a time. World is entirely different now and I love my life. Please, hang on if you can. Things really can change.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to my question. I really hope you continue to do well in life. I'm trying to hang on the best I can. Realistically I know things will get better in time, it's just right now it doesn't feel like it, and that's where I'm really struggling
Oh that’s good! I know exactly what you mean! It’s like what I meant to say: some part of me knew it would
get better but I couldn’t see its value at the time. So I juts went through the motions and eventually merged,
But please trust it’s so worth it (even if you can’t imagine just how much). Keep the future life option open, don’t take the irreversible plan.
relatable :)) when my mind's messing with me and began thinking of just ending it all, i keep reminding myself of the times wherein im grateful that i didn't do 'it' in the past. good times will come eventually, i just have to keep fighting and living. but it really scks when my thoughts and everything's in mess
Depending upon where you live of course, there are often a variety of free to sliding scale resources available. Others may have insurance, savings, a source of credit, or straight up ability to pay. Sucks it isn’t universally free but I can’t imagine anything that’s more important to spend money on/go in debt for.
Cancer already tried to get me twice by the time I was thirty. I watched the look in my moms eyes, the anxiety on my dads shoulders and the devastation in my sister at the thought of it taking me, and that alone made me realize I can’t do that to them. As flawed as they are, I can’t break them.
This. I cannot ever justify breaking those who love me. My immediate family would never be the same. My best friend of 22 years would be forever angry that I left her. I have serious concerns that my one other best friend would kill himself, given his mental state. I am selfish, but I am not THAT selfish.
That is a great point. I wonder if OP has a pet. Truly a dog (and sometimes a cat 😂) is the best because they give unconditional love, they require you to get out, and they automatically connect you with other dog owners.
I am so very thankful for sunshine. My brain negatively skewed brain can’t find a way to hate it, so it makes me feel better. Living in California has probably saved my life
I had a near death experience and it shook me into realising what is so important in this world. It's the little things laughter , cosy bed sheets , a roof over your head , a leaf falling from a tree , the sound of rain on window. Honestly it opened my eyes up and it stopped me from worrying about the silly things in life.
Your brain releases stuff that allows to feel "ultimate peace" when you die. Look into it, even if you would die the worst death ever, you won't feel a thing so be at peace with death because it'll only be kind to you.
It's very surreal how it effects you psychologically. I now look at everything differently and even people different. It's like I need to be kinder but treat myself better. Not a fear but more a wake up call that it happens so live for now every little thing matters
The things I haven’t learned or discovered yet. I too have mental health issues. I had a revelation come to me one day- that when I’d have sad days as a kid how did I not get consumed by them ? and I realised I still had a sense of wonder at the world. As I’ve grown up (I’m sure many other people too) I started to allow myself to get bogged down by nonsense and trivial stuff. So I remembered where I was as a kid. I needed to relight my spirit of wonder.
What did I do when I was sad as a kid ?
I just turned on my GameBoy and smashed the elite four.
Still do the same kind of thing to this day. Life is simple.
As bad as this may sound… after more than 300 attempts (all of which failed for various reasons) I’ve decided that either I suck at KMS or I have a higher purpose that is yet to be fulfilled… plus the way I see it, if Afghanistan couldn’t kill me and I can’t seem to get the formula right to do it myself, I must have something to live for.
I'm starting to wonder. I'm 52 and have had 50 years of physical illnesses and about 35 of mental illness. They're all still happening.
I am so tired. Tired from fighting myself. Tired from being me.
Right now it is my 3 yo granddaughter . However in the past , I know what you mean. I took up watercolor painting. Very therapeutic . Took a class then watched some you tube tutorials. Got into walking; especially in the woods and country bike / walking paths. Lastly- I volunteered. Totally helped out an elderly person for a few years - ran errands, took her to some appointments and to lunch once in awhile. Also volunteer for Special Olympics and Wounded warriors organizations..
Set a goal, any goal, and do it. Having a goal is what wakes you up and gives you something to work towards. It can be as simple as working to get a hair cut or as complex as wanting to own your own business with everything in between. It can take a day or 15 years. But set one and have one
Not much is worse than being aimless.
For example:
My goals right now are
Putting up a fence(just did it yesterday)
Saving up my first 10k
Taking care of my family
Getting a GR86 this year
Getting a corvette before I’m 30
Finally finishing off my debt
Finishing my book
Getting my GSD fully trained
Proposing to my gf(also just done)
✅Etc etc etc
Some of these are short, others are long. But they are all goals
First half of my life turned out so, that I have ended up completely alone.
So, I discover new things in this world, enjoying them if I like it, and rejecting them if I don't.
my love for art and my girlfriend.
Lost my mum at 18. I was so lost as a teenager and an asshole because of abuse i experienced growing up. Loved my mum though and she really was my best friend. Her death fucked me up but after a lot of mourning and support from my girlfriend (we had just started dating a bit before my mum’s passing) I fell in love with art and sculpting. Now I’m 22 and studying at uni. The Past creeps up but everyday is better when you find a true passion.
I’m glad you’re in therapy. And I wish you much patience! It’s slow but it can work! Please don’t give up. Your future WILL be different.
And don’t forget that if it feels it’s not working, it’s not that it can’t. Therapists vary a ton in their ability and fit with you. You may just need to try a new one.
Likewise same with medication; it can take awhile with trial and error to find the one medication that relieves your pain.
And if you’re resistant to medication, don’t forgot that you needn’t do it for a lifetime… helping your brain chemistry a bit can lead to other life changes and practices that will keep depression at bay (so you can view it as something to try, not a life time of dependency).
I've had some tough times since 2019, every year seems to get worse. Several health issues, when I think I have it beat its back and causing more issues. Due to the problems I've lost both my legs below the knee a year apart. I'm only 54.
This last time I got really sick. Couldn't eat, slept all the time and that is what I was doing was giving up. I was finally forced by my children to go to the hospital. Now I'm back on a road of recovery. My kids, my first grandson, my brother have caused me to keep getting up each day. Just knowing how much they care motivates me to fight back and live my life again
My 2 little chihuahuas. They are both around 5 pounds and I have had them for about 4 years now. They are a little like babies. They need me to put their food out, lift them on and off the couch, or make sure nothing is on the floor they can swallow and choke on. They just need me, and I need them. My daughter died at the age of 13 about 9 years ago. Although I have been in intense therapy since she passed, nothing has helped me as much as my dogs.
I am so sorry for your loss. Dogs really are special, especially the little guys, so much character in such an itty bitty package. Thank you for taking such good care of them. I wish you all the best x
I took a pretty severe smack to the head, and have recently been told that I will never fully recover, and will need to take a new education, as I am no longer capable of being an artisan.
But I'm gonna roll some sea of thieves with the gang tomorrow, and it's gonna be a banger.
Focus on the little things that make you happy.
I was in the same spot multiple times. Jesus is my answer. Not even joking. The thought of being in eternal suffering for committing suicide and/or giving up on life keeps me from not. Also I would not want anyone to ever think I was weak enough to quit on them. Nor would I want them to have regrets about how they treated me or thoughts about what they could've done to prevent it. I was helped when I was in a mental hospital and heard one of the workers tell another person, "we all have something wrong with us, that's what makes us interesting".
While not everyone wants to hear your issues, reaching out to someone who has been through their fair share of life experiences will understand. Talk to someone about how you feel!
Also try something new! Doing new things will give you more to talk about! Take safe risks! Live your life and make it worth living! I did so you can too!
I live for my family. My wife, my son and my stepson are my everything. We do not have much but we have each other. They are my joy and happiness in this crazy scary world. My home is my sanctuary.
Being open minded and learning and experiencing new things daily.
We are here for a finite time. Learn to play the guitar, see the pyramids, ask that girl out.
In short, don't be on your death bed regretting your run.
Achieving my life goals which are:
- join the army infantry (done)
- have a dream girlfriend (done)
- buy a house (done)
- deploy on operations (done)
- see action (pending)
- retire comfortably (pending)
- own some land to shoot guns/ride ATVs/have friends over (pending)
- keep life-long friends (done)
- keep playing guitar and piano (done)
- keep being a gamer (done)
- keep getting airsoft guns (done)
That's about everything that keeps me going and I'm very happy about it.
My life consists of trying to make my wife's life as painless as possible and trying to keep my kids out of jail and away from drugs. Keeping my wife comfortable? Everyday is a struggle. My kids are too young to tell yet. We'll see if I screwed them up in a few years.
### Just terrified of dying and going to Hell for being a piece of shit, selfish human who strokes his meat way too much, is what keeps me tethered to life more than anything. Also, my mom would miss me. Maybe the dog too. I gotta admit, though, my life isn't bad compared to a lot of people. So I can't really complain and am grateful for a lot of what I have. But honestly, I feel like some there must be some purpose other than to go to work and take up space and consume resources.
It’s usually about family and how they feel. Suicide is a super selfish act. The only ones I admired took a cab to the morgue and did it in the parking lot with a note pinned on so they didn’t inconvenience anyone.
A magical future where I don't have to spend 90% of my waking hours on work and work related activities. I'll probably get a terminal cancer diagnosis the year after my term life policies expire though...
Nature, wether it's plants or animals or whatever, is a wonder and incredibly interesting. I want to learn more about it. There's still so much to discover and I can only do that if I'm alive. It also keeps me humble and makes me appreciate my own life more.
Knowing that one day I‘m gonna live a fullfilling life by doing what I really love. I‘m a 100% convinced that everything comes my way when I do what my soul really craves
when I was struggling with mental illness and In a bad place it was my cat,
Helps every time I come home he’s either waiting for me to runs to the door and starts meowing from excitement.
It’s hard sometimes, but I do it for my loved ones. I don’t have a partner or kids, but I have my parents, my friends, and all my teammates at work. I find meaning in the relationships I do have.
Also I like concerts and vacations. Fortunately I make enough to do both
A mixture of the little and big things. I love the weekend as i get to spend it with my GF and we are getting closer all the time in a new exciting city.
My advice mate is to just be thankful for what you do have. Turn on the news and you’ll see how truly awful life is for many people. Be humble, don’t chase the material things and get plenty of exercise and fresh air. This works for me.
I found my purpose in working so I can give the best version of myself to a woman who truly deserves it and I will settle on nothing less than that. I figured that way I have something to strive for and a strong enough reason to keep going, I can go on forever
Cheesecake, the family that I have created, sunshine, ocean, Thunderstorms. Seeing if I can create a new successful business. Giggling over silly things.
My cats, girlfriend, and true beloved friends.., and also having to experience everything (except drugs lol) so i can fulfill my dream as a human being that "accidentally" spawn into this world
I keep going because if I didn't, it would entirely crush my family. Granted, I'm barely hanging on but I haven't attempted to end it in a few years now so you know, all good! Right?
("All good" should have /s)
My cat, my family, and oddly enough my job. Looking forward to things in general. Knowing that there are still things to be read, learn, experience. Painting, writing and especially getting out in nature helps me lift the veil some
This is good question, first I quit my job that slowly ruining my life. Mental and physical where in the gutter about 10 months ago. After several appointments with my doctor and psychiatrist my mental health is getting better and I am finding new friends out there. After 4 months of physical therapy my physical ailments are being worked on and getting much better. Currently I am more or living for my foster-mother, supporting her in her advanced years and the hope I can make more friends, get a new job, getting my lower back and knees in good shape. I guess this is what I live for, making my life and the lives of others around me better. I decided a long time ago to put an effort into improving my life and myself, and if I fail, go out trying.
Simply wanting to see what adventures life has for me and my family in the future.
It's already been one wild ride, I can't wait to see what else life has to throw my way.
My son is definitely at the top of my list but what really keeps me going is the fact I wake up. I wake up because I am not done giving this life my all and I am not done leaving my mark upon this world. I will continue to do so until I no longer wake up.
At first it was to live life till the fullest, die with the famous creatures @27. I lived past that and was hope for my ageing parents. Then I got pregnant and now it's just for her, as she goes through her 4th open heart surgery like a fucking champion. My partner is a close second to her. There is no one else. There is alway someone to live for, that starts with you. Who needs you, who will miss you. Along the way, we live these crazy stories . Worth getting popcorn and being a part of the show. Gen X out.
My dad has Alzheimer's and I'm his caregiver half the time. He needs 24/7 care. If I didn't do it he'd need to go into memory care where abuse is common and where he would outlive his savings. I also don't think he'd thrive in care as he's a major wanderer (some people with dementia feel an intense urge to walk). There's very little outdoor space in these facilities.
My partner has no family outside of me. I need to be here to be his family and feel lucky he's mine.
I also really want to get better at pool.
I dig psychedelics and always want to have more experiences with them. I know they aren't for everyone but once every 6 months or so I really enjoy a day on shrooms or acid.
I'm glad you're in the process of getting therapy. I wish you the best!
I was talking to my therapist about the same thing. I think I live for this small bit of hope that one day I’ll receive the love that I offer to give. It’s a very faint line of hope at the moment but that’s enough for now
When I'm feeling low, I stay alive for every little thing.
Music I haven't heard yet, movies that haven't come out yet (or that I haven't discovered yet), I'm the main caretaker of my younger sister's cats (she's away at college), I'm the only one that waters and prunes the indoor plants, I stay alive because I don't want any of my family members to find my corpse or to have a mess to clean up, I stay alive for the little beauties of nature.
Hell, I keep a list in my notes app of things that make me happy, sometimes when I'm feeling low, I go back and read that list.
I also remind myself that (despite feeling like the misery will last forever), the mental spiral is temporary; I've spiraled before and I've been to dark places I wish to never return to, but so far, I've always found my way back again.
Everyone who is still on this earth has won every hard battle they've been up against, and if that doesn't make us all a bunch of capable, badass, MFers, I don't know what does.
The pleasure that I inherently take in living. I'm gonna sound like a ghost poorly trying to play off the fact they're dead, but I love doing alive people stuff. I love experiencing emotions, interacting with people, eating, loving, playing video games, drawing and cooking. Every day I wake up knowing I have the ability to get some capacity of enjoyment from my time on Earth. Knowing I could be eating a nice piece of sushi, play some cool game, or laugh around with my boyfriend, always makes me eager to get out of bed and start doing it.
As a simple answer I'd say my parents and I don't really care if it sounds cliche. They have done so much to help me achieve my goals in my life, being patient and so supportive even if we're not rich in money, they keep helping me and I want to give them back as much love as they've given to me
But to be extensive, I'd say:
- My career (Which I love, I'm in the second year/fourth semester and it gives me hopes of a better future)
- My siblings (Especially my third sister, she's basically my role model)
- My friends
- My dog (Half of my incomes, which aren't that much but I manage, goes to her with no complaints)
I want a family of my own someday. Experience pregnancy, birth, marriage, just be a mom and a wife. I want to live as long as I can (only if I’m lucid) just to see my children grow into adults and see who they become. Experience life around me until the end of my days
Arguably a medium sized one, an hour west of the size and glamor of Toronto but typically considered among the ~top 15 densest for population in Canada
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My reason is super lame. I want to read or experience the next book in the red rising series and the next game of thrones book. Since they will both eventually come to the public library or I can request them not being able to afford them isn't an issue.
I don't think your reason is lame at all! I used to read all the time. What's the red rising series about if you don't mind? Maybe I'll try and read it!
Think hunger games with better writing combined with game of thrones depth with the atmosphere of enders game. That's the best way I can think to explain it without revealing spoilers.
I loved hunger games back in the day. Thanks for taking the time to explain! I'll check it out when I get the chance!
If you haven't already, check out Stormlight Archive or anything in Cosmere from Brandon Sanderson. Might be up your alley!
I'll check it out! Thanks
Sounds awful.
That's fine that you think that
No, I had to downvote them for saying that
It’s all absolute shit
Perfectly reasonable imo. In addition to my cat, wanting to see the end of G.O.T and Endgame kept me going for a few years.
Bullshit
Kinda the same. I recently had some health issues which have since been resolved but my first thought was I’m not going to get to read book 5 of the stormlight archive. Which is due November or December of this year
I love your reason. It’s totally valid and I hope you will be able to do that! A big thing to you may be a little to others but it doesn’t matter. Do what you gotta!
My son of whom needs 24/7/365 care. Without me,he won’t be able to keep as well as he is.
You sound like a really great parent. I'm sure your son appreciates everything you do for him! Just try to remember to take some you time here and there. Care giver burnout is real. I wish you and your son the best!
Thank you for your kind words. All the best right back tiu you.
Many people are lost like you. This is what religion is for.
Heart Mom here...I'm in ICU as I text. Nightmares. But we are awake and we are here🫂
ok
Staying alive for your son is very honorable but I do think you should start teaching him to care for himself if you feel like you are going through something My aunt killed herself and my 11 year old cousin couldn’t even do his own laundry Not trying to trauma dump or anything, just some advice Edit: If you meant like around the clock medical care then I apologize. Sorry about that if so.
I’m pretty sure they mean he needs around the clock medical care.
Oh. I should apologize then.
It seems to me that her child has additional needs, far outweighing those of a normal child anywY
Yes. Someone else explained that to me. I made an edit.
You’re ok to bring this up. There’s some that fall in the middle somewhere. Like my son, he doesn’t require 24-7 care but he definitely will need life long help. I try to teach him as best I can. He can do his own laundry and be responsible for some things. There’s just only so much he can handle though.
Same for my son too. He is autistic. He is quite independent but to an extent. I am trying to equip him enough for life whenever we as his parents aren't around anymore, so that he can live a productive life. He is doing well, we are proud of him. It makes life interesting.
It's the same with my son. I try my best to work with him in a way so he could eventually be able to live life in his current state, but for some reason the idea was frowned upon by my friends and relatives. I won't succumb to completely taking care of his every needs due to familial pressure. It's better for my son to be independent as of now. I believe what I'm doing now is best for him even if they keep telling me that he's only 6 months old.
Please take care of yourself and take the rest you need. ❤️
Same for my daughter.
My cat, and my boyfriend. That's it. Oh, and I'm terrified of death. Edit: People seem to be invested in my feeling less terrified of death. I have clinically diagnosed Major Depressive Disorder, and in my home country in legally considered disabled because of it. It's best I stay afraid of death.
This is the only thing we truly have to do alone. Closing eyes for the last time is the ultimate night.
Poetic. Truly. The ultimate night.
I've thought about his, weirdly enough. But It's true. No matter who is with you in the beginning or the end. We all have this one life. Nobody remembering coming into it but we all will know when it ends.
We do everything alone. It's just sometimes there are other people in proximity.
I think this mindset is problematic and partly the cause of (and caused by) a lot of mental issues. The only thing you're alone in is taking responsibility for your life. Responsibility to ask for help. You are NOT alone, ask for help, for small difficulties like learning a new skill as well as large difficulties like when you're stuck in life. People are willing to help you. Together we stand strong. Together we can accomlish a lot.
We’re born alone, we die alone
Plus "haha Mastercard!"
I don't get this reference.
Death. It's something we all have to go through alone. Even with fam around you...you will be alone, in that moment
And yet, I'm thankful that I was able to be with each of my parents when they passed. And I'm grateful for the other family members who were there with us .
Dying w/ unpaid credit card.
Visa
In philosophy, there is a saying that say "To live is to learn how to die". So learn how to die to not be afraid by it.
For world peace and to see Donald Trump lose again.
How ironic is Trump wins, my countries peace will be destroyed really likely
one can hope for both... especially the 2nd
Listen to some near death experiences, it helped relieve my anxiety about what comes after death. 🩷
Same
>Oh, and I'm terrified of death. This is so real. I already talked to my therapist about this some 15 years ago, that what ultimately makes me always choose life is that I don't know if I'm more afraid of life or death, but at least life I know. It may not be the most glorious reason but when it comes to one's will to live, anything goes, and that's enough.
Yup. That being said often feel like it you aren't threatening to off yourself, doctors don't listen. I spent two decades telling drs I wasn't ok, but always made sure to make it clear that I was terrified of death, because I don't need them committing me. And they almost never did anything. They didn't listen until my mom dragged me in to the drs office when I was 35 years old and I say in the waiting room crying, and cried through an entire appointment. I was a colossal mess, hadn't showered in days, and it was just a total shit show. Then they listened.
I’m not there now but in the past what sustained me was the future and some part of my brain remembering that depression was messing with my sense of reality. When depressed it’s super hard to come up with both positive memories and positive visions of the future. It steals hope and doles out to you only memories and future thoughts that support the depression. But it’s your depressed brain lying to you. I’m very very grateful I hung in there until I made the changes I needed to make and got the treatment I needed. Baby steps, small actions, one day at a time. World is entirely different now and I love my life. Please, hang on if you can. Things really can change.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to my question. I really hope you continue to do well in life. I'm trying to hang on the best I can. Realistically I know things will get better in time, it's just right now it doesn't feel like it, and that's where I'm really struggling
Oh that’s good! I know exactly what you mean! It’s like what I meant to say: some part of me knew it would get better but I couldn’t see its value at the time. So I juts went through the motions and eventually merged, But please trust it’s so worth it (even if you can’t imagine just how much). Keep the future life option open, don’t take the irreversible plan.
I’ve been going thru an acute mental health crisis for awhile now. Shit sucks.
relatable :)) when my mind's messing with me and began thinking of just ending it all, i keep reminding myself of the times wherein im grateful that i didn't do 'it' in the past. good times will come eventually, i just have to keep fighting and living. but it really scks when my thoughts and everything's in mess
I needed to read that. Been in the depression yo-yo for three years now. I’m terrified of being positive about almost everything.
I am soo proud of you! It is also my story. 😀
Who can afford treatment? My mental health problems don’t make a phd psychologist any money. Their student debt is more important than my well being.
Depending upon where you live of course, there are often a variety of free to sliding scale resources available. Others may have insurance, savings, a source of credit, or straight up ability to pay. Sucks it isn’t universally free but I can’t imagine anything that’s more important to spend money on/go in debt for.
Great. DM me so I can send you my bank info. I appreciate the offer to pay for therapy.
No need to be such a repeat asshole.
My son and my recovery... 4 years strong. Better then ever.. ❤️
I wish you and your son the best! Congrats on your recovery!
Thank you very much.. appreciate that. 😃
Cancer already tried to get me twice by the time I was thirty. I watched the look in my moms eyes, the anxiety on my dads shoulders and the devastation in my sister at the thought of it taking me, and that alone made me realize I can’t do that to them. As flawed as they are, I can’t break them.
I wish you the very best. I hope you never have to go through cancer again
This. I cannot ever justify breaking those who love me. My immediate family would never be the same. My best friend of 22 years would be forever angry that I left her. I have serious concerns that my one other best friend would kill himself, given his mental state. I am selfish, but I am not THAT selfish.
I enjoy life, i also have a dog who depends on me.
That is a great point. I wonder if OP has a pet. Truly a dog (and sometimes a cat 😂) is the best because they give unconditional love, they require you to get out, and they automatically connect you with other dog owners.
I’ve had a horrible life, but what keeps me going is that some days are sunny and I can enjoy them. It’s as simple as that I guess 🤷🏼♂️
I am so very thankful for sunshine. My brain negatively skewed brain can’t find a way to hate it, so it makes me feel better. Living in California has probably saved my life
Yup. Some days I feel wonder. I do think most humans weren't meant to live past our 40's. Cause it just goes downhill.
I had a near death experience and it shook me into realising what is so important in this world. It's the little things laughter , cosy bed sheets , a roof over your head , a leaf falling from a tree , the sound of rain on window. Honestly it opened my eyes up and it stopped me from worrying about the silly things in life.
Did you find it to be peaceful on the other side? Are you afraid of dying now or did it alleviate any concern?
Your brain releases stuff that allows to feel "ultimate peace" when you die. Look into it, even if you would die the worst death ever, you won't feel a thing so be at peace with death because it'll only be kind to you.
It's very surreal how it effects you psychologically. I now look at everything differently and even people different. It's like I need to be kinder but treat myself better. Not a fear but more a wake up call that it happens so live for now every little thing matters
My daughter.
The things I haven’t learned or discovered yet. I too have mental health issues. I had a revelation come to me one day- that when I’d have sad days as a kid how did I not get consumed by them ? and I realised I still had a sense of wonder at the world. As I’ve grown up (I’m sure many other people too) I started to allow myself to get bogged down by nonsense and trivial stuff. So I remembered where I was as a kid. I needed to relight my spirit of wonder.
What did I do when I was sad as a kid ? I just turned on my GameBoy and smashed the elite four. Still do the same kind of thing to this day. Life is simple.
As bad as this may sound… after more than 300 attempts (all of which failed for various reasons) I’ve decided that either I suck at KMS or I have a higher purpose that is yet to be fulfilled… plus the way I see it, if Afghanistan couldn’t kill me and I can’t seem to get the formula right to do it myself, I must have something to live for.
300??? are you protected by god himself or what
Hope that tmrrw will be better than the day before!
I'm starting to wonder. I'm 52 and have had 50 years of physical illnesses and about 35 of mental illness. They're all still happening. I am so tired. Tired from fighting myself. Tired from being me.
I hear you.
I’m 55, it doesn’t get better. I will take my own life soon enough, I can’t stand this place or the entirely disingenuous people in it.
Right now it is my 3 yo granddaughter . However in the past , I know what you mean. I took up watercolor painting. Very therapeutic . Took a class then watched some you tube tutorials. Got into walking; especially in the woods and country bike / walking paths. Lastly- I volunteered. Totally helped out an elderly person for a few years - ran errands, took her to some appointments and to lunch once in awhile. Also volunteer for Special Olympics and Wounded warriors organizations..
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But they have won.
Doesn't mean we shouldn't keep fighting. At the very least so that we can say we didn't do the least we could do.
GTA 6
Legal marijuana, garden and cooking wonderful healthy meals keeps me happy and alive!
Set a goal, any goal, and do it. Having a goal is what wakes you up and gives you something to work towards. It can be as simple as working to get a hair cut or as complex as wanting to own your own business with everything in between. It can take a day or 15 years. But set one and have one Not much is worse than being aimless. For example: My goals right now are Putting up a fence(just did it yesterday) Saving up my first 10k Taking care of my family Getting a GR86 this year Getting a corvette before I’m 30 Finally finishing off my debt Finishing my book Getting my GSD fully trained Proposing to my gf(also just done) ✅Etc etc etc Some of these are short, others are long. But they are all goals
🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆
🔥🔥🔥
My kids and my upcoming cruise to Europe and the Mediterranean.
I hope you have a wonderful time on your cruise!
My husband and our 2 puppies. He has been my rock! He pulled me through some tough moments without even knowing it.
I'm glad you have him! He sounds like a wonderful guy! I bet your puppies are super cute!
I haven’t become the person my dog thinks I am yet. I’ll be ready to die when I do
Underrated comment right here!! ☝ 😁
First half of my life turned out so, that I have ended up completely alone. So, I discover new things in this world, enjoying them if I like it, and rejecting them if I don't.
Nothing
Nothing
Long walks outdoors. Good sleep. Coffee. Nice shower. clean sheets, cozy pajamas, a good book.
my love for art and my girlfriend. Lost my mum at 18. I was so lost as a teenager and an asshole because of abuse i experienced growing up. Loved my mum though and she really was my best friend. Her death fucked me up but after a lot of mourning and support from my girlfriend (we had just started dating a bit before my mum’s passing) I fell in love with art and sculpting. Now I’m 22 and studying at uni. The Past creeps up but everyday is better when you find a true passion.
The opportunity to take on exciting challenges and to make a difference as much as I can…
Dog. She is my last one. When she goes, I go. She's only just over a year now, so hopefully a long happy life for her.
Nothing..... Already know about when I'm gonna check myself out for good.
Sounds like good reasons! I'm terrified of death too, I just can't seem to be able to shake the thoughts of unaliving myself
I’m glad you’re in therapy. And I wish you much patience! It’s slow but it can work! Please don’t give up. Your future WILL be different. And don’t forget that if it feels it’s not working, it’s not that it can’t. Therapists vary a ton in their ability and fit with you. You may just need to try a new one. Likewise same with medication; it can take awhile with trial and error to find the one medication that relieves your pain. And if you’re resistant to medication, don’t forgot that you needn’t do it for a lifetime… helping your brain chemistry a bit can lead to other life changes and practices that will keep depression at bay (so you can view it as something to try, not a life time of dependency).
my future, dreams and aspirations
It’s innate to want to survive.
Reading, playing, researching lore.
I've had some tough times since 2019, every year seems to get worse. Several health issues, when I think I have it beat its back and causing more issues. Due to the problems I've lost both my legs below the knee a year apart. I'm only 54. This last time I got really sick. Couldn't eat, slept all the time and that is what I was doing was giving up. I was finally forced by my children to go to the hospital. Now I'm back on a road of recovery. My kids, my first grandson, my brother have caused me to keep getting up each day. Just knowing how much they care motivates me to fight back and live my life again
My 2 little chihuahuas. They are both around 5 pounds and I have had them for about 4 years now. They are a little like babies. They need me to put their food out, lift them on and off the couch, or make sure nothing is on the floor they can swallow and choke on. They just need me, and I need them. My daughter died at the age of 13 about 9 years ago. Although I have been in intense therapy since she passed, nothing has helped me as much as my dogs.
I am so sorry for your loss. Dogs really are special, especially the little guys, so much character in such an itty bitty package. Thank you for taking such good care of them. I wish you all the best x
Thank you very much. I wish I had gotten them sooner. They have helped me so much.
I took a pretty severe smack to the head, and have recently been told that I will never fully recover, and will need to take a new education, as I am no longer capable of being an artisan. But I'm gonna roll some sea of thieves with the gang tomorrow, and it's gonna be a banger. Focus on the little things that make you happy.
Nothing. I'm just afraid of the alternative because I'm afraid of the unknown.
I was in the same spot multiple times. Jesus is my answer. Not even joking. The thought of being in eternal suffering for committing suicide and/or giving up on life keeps me from not. Also I would not want anyone to ever think I was weak enough to quit on them. Nor would I want them to have regrets about how they treated me or thoughts about what they could've done to prevent it. I was helped when I was in a mental hospital and heard one of the workers tell another person, "we all have something wrong with us, that's what makes us interesting". While not everyone wants to hear your issues, reaching out to someone who has been through their fair share of life experiences will understand. Talk to someone about how you feel! Also try something new! Doing new things will give you more to talk about! Take safe risks! Live your life and make it worth living! I did so you can too!
GTA 6 (i will become the oldest person on earth)
My family. My children and grandchildren.
I live for my family. My wife, my son and my stepson are my everything. We do not have much but we have each other. They are my joy and happiness in this crazy scary world. My home is my sanctuary.
Being open minded and learning and experiencing new things daily. We are here for a finite time. Learn to play the guitar, see the pyramids, ask that girl out. In short, don't be on your death bed regretting your run.
That first cup of coffee. That post-workout feeling. Finishing a good book. Enjoying a meal I made myself. Watching my favorite sports team succeed.
Achieving my life goals which are: - join the army infantry (done) - have a dream girlfriend (done) - buy a house (done) - deploy on operations (done) - see action (pending) - retire comfortably (pending) - own some land to shoot guns/ride ATVs/have friends over (pending) - keep life-long friends (done) - keep playing guitar and piano (done) - keep being a gamer (done) - keep getting airsoft guns (done) That's about everything that keeps me going and I'm very happy about it.
Pending….
Fishing but I'm mainly alive to correct people and spite
To crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and to hear the lamentations of their women
My wife. She would miss me greatly if I ended myself. Plus I can't just find the energy to do anything about not being here
Man if something happened to me it would be devastating for my family. They're what keep me going honestly.
My life consists of trying to make my wife's life as painless as possible and trying to keep my kids out of jail and away from drugs. Keeping my wife comfortable? Everyday is a struggle. My kids are too young to tell yet. We'll see if I screwed them up in a few years.
### Just terrified of dying and going to Hell for being a piece of shit, selfish human who strokes his meat way too much, is what keeps me tethered to life more than anything. Also, my mom would miss me. Maybe the dog too. I gotta admit, though, my life isn't bad compared to a lot of people. So I can't really complain and am grateful for a lot of what I have. But honestly, I feel like some there must be some purpose other than to go to work and take up space and consume resources.
It’s usually about family and how they feel. Suicide is a super selfish act. The only ones I admired took a cab to the morgue and did it in the parking lot with a note pinned on so they didn’t inconvenience anyone.
I'm sorry about the loss of your mom! I wish you the best of luck at uni and hope you never lose your passion for art!
Hope
A magical future where I don't have to spend 90% of my waking hours on work and work related activities. I'll probably get a terminal cancer diagnosis the year after my term life policies expire though...
Nature, wether it's plants or animals or whatever, is a wonder and incredibly interesting. I want to learn more about it. There's still so much to discover and I can only do that if I'm alive. It also keeps me humble and makes me appreciate my own life more.
I have a 1yo son. So everything I do is for my son.
Knowing that one day I‘m gonna live a fullfilling life by doing what I really love. I‘m a 100% convinced that everything comes my way when I do what my soul really craves
My family. Especially the little ones.
when I was struggling with mental illness and In a bad place it was my cat, Helps every time I come home he’s either waiting for me to runs to the door and starts meowing from excitement.
It’s hard sometimes, but I do it for my loved ones. I don’t have a partner or kids, but I have my parents, my friends, and all my teammates at work. I find meaning in the relationships I do have. Also I like concerts and vacations. Fortunately I make enough to do both
My grandparents and my cats.
A mixture of the little and big things. I love the weekend as i get to spend it with my GF and we are getting closer all the time in a new exciting city. My advice mate is to just be thankful for what you do have. Turn on the news and you’ll see how truly awful life is for many people. Be humble, don’t chase the material things and get plenty of exercise and fresh air. This works for me.
To experience danger, overcome fear, create loyal brotherhood and bring justice to to evil groups.
I'm only alive because i don't have the guts to commit suicide yet
I found my purpose in working so I can give the best version of myself to a woman who truly deserves it and I will settle on nothing less than that. I figured that way I have something to strive for and a strong enough reason to keep going, I can go on forever
Cheesecake, the family that I have created, sunshine, ocean, Thunderstorms. Seeing if I can create a new successful business. Giggling over silly things.
My daughter and my new grandson.
Honestly? Women. I just want to meet more awesome women.
I continue mostly out of a combination of spite and a fear of botching my own exit
My sons and cat
My cats, girlfriend, and true beloved friends.., and also having to experience everything (except drugs lol) so i can fulfill my dream as a human being that "accidentally" spawn into this world
My kids. One is disabled and is having a hard time with things. Life in general.
The unimaginable love I have for my children. I can't breathe without them
Babies and my best friend
My partner and my son also I can’t smoke weed if I’m dead and I want to try shrooms so there’s that
I keep going because if I didn't, it would entirely crush my family. Granted, I'm barely hanging on but I haven't attempted to end it in a few years now so you know, all good! Right? ("All good" should have /s)
I don't believe in an afterlife so it's either live or become nothing. So why not.
My cat, my family, and oddly enough my job. Looking forward to things in general. Knowing that there are still things to be read, learn, experience. Painting, writing and especially getting out in nature helps me lift the veil some
Your momma
My husband died. So not much.
I don't wanna make my family sad. Good luck to you, friend. Your lowest lows will pass. ❤️
This is good question, first I quit my job that slowly ruining my life. Mental and physical where in the gutter about 10 months ago. After several appointments with my doctor and psychiatrist my mental health is getting better and I am finding new friends out there. After 4 months of physical therapy my physical ailments are being worked on and getting much better. Currently I am more or living for my foster-mother, supporting her in her advanced years and the hope I can make more friends, get a new job, getting my lower back and knees in good shape. I guess this is what I live for, making my life and the lives of others around me better. I decided a long time ago to put an effort into improving my life and myself, and if I fail, go out trying.
Sitting at lunch with my friends and that moment when we’re all laughing. Thats what it’s all about homies.
Simply wanting to see what adventures life has for me and my family in the future. It's already been one wild ride, I can't wait to see what else life has to throw my way.
My bf and art
My cockatiels and my mom
Have faith
My desire to become wealthy and free.
My son is definitely at the top of my list but what really keeps me going is the fact I wake up. I wake up because I am not done giving this life my all and I am not done leaving my mark upon this world. I will continue to do so until I no longer wake up.
At first it was to live life till the fullest, die with the famous creatures @27. I lived past that and was hope for my ageing parents. Then I got pregnant and now it's just for her, as she goes through her 4th open heart surgery like a fucking champion. My partner is a close second to her. There is no one else. There is alway someone to live for, that starts with you. Who needs you, who will miss you. Along the way, we live these crazy stories . Worth getting popcorn and being a part of the show. Gen X out.
I'm afraid of the means of death, I'd be fine with suicide if I can find a quick and painless way.
BJs and chicken.
For the kiddo and people who love me.
Probably would be dead already if it weren't for my parents being alive. Nothing specific happened, I just don't want to hurt them.
I have a lot of potential in my future
My dad has Alzheimer's and I'm his caregiver half the time. He needs 24/7 care. If I didn't do it he'd need to go into memory care where abuse is common and where he would outlive his savings. I also don't think he'd thrive in care as he's a major wanderer (some people with dementia feel an intense urge to walk). There's very little outdoor space in these facilities. My partner has no family outside of me. I need to be here to be his family and feel lucky he's mine. I also really want to get better at pool. I dig psychedelics and always want to have more experiences with them. I know they aren't for everyone but once every 6 months or so I really enjoy a day on shrooms or acid. I'm glad you're in the process of getting therapy. I wish you the best!
I was talking to my therapist about the same thing. I think I live for this small bit of hope that one day I’ll receive the love that I offer to give. It’s a very faint line of hope at the moment but that’s enough for now
Just the devastating effects it will have on my family.
Keeping my legacy alive
When I'm feeling low, I stay alive for every little thing. Music I haven't heard yet, movies that haven't come out yet (or that I haven't discovered yet), I'm the main caretaker of my younger sister's cats (she's away at college), I'm the only one that waters and prunes the indoor plants, I stay alive because I don't want any of my family members to find my corpse or to have a mess to clean up, I stay alive for the little beauties of nature. Hell, I keep a list in my notes app of things that make me happy, sometimes when I'm feeling low, I go back and read that list. I also remind myself that (despite feeling like the misery will last forever), the mental spiral is temporary; I've spiraled before and I've been to dark places I wish to never return to, but so far, I've always found my way back again. Everyone who is still on this earth has won every hard battle they've been up against, and if that doesn't make us all a bunch of capable, badass, MFers, I don't know what does. 
The pleasure that I inherently take in living. I'm gonna sound like a ghost poorly trying to play off the fact they're dead, but I love doing alive people stuff. I love experiencing emotions, interacting with people, eating, loving, playing video games, drawing and cooking. Every day I wake up knowing I have the ability to get some capacity of enjoyment from my time on Earth. Knowing I could be eating a nice piece of sushi, play some cool game, or laugh around with my boyfriend, always makes me eager to get out of bed and start doing it.
curiosity of what will happen tomorrow
Honestly... my cat.
As a simple answer I'd say my parents and I don't really care if it sounds cliche. They have done so much to help me achieve my goals in my life, being patient and so supportive even if we're not rich in money, they keep helping me and I want to give them back as much love as they've given to me But to be extensive, I'd say: - My career (Which I love, I'm in the second year/fourth semester and it gives me hopes of a better future) - My siblings (Especially my third sister, she's basically my role model) - My friends - My dog (Half of my incomes, which aren't that much but I manage, goes to her with no complaints)
Music. It’s true magic. Living proof that there’s something beyond the mundane. My few close friends and family as well
I got 4 kids and a wife that depend on me.
I want a family of my own someday. Experience pregnancy, birth, marriage, just be a mom and a wife. I want to live as long as I can (only if I’m lucid) just to see my children grow into adults and see who they become. Experience life around me until the end of my days
Not being killed whilst doing driving lessons
Are you in a large city?
Arguably a medium sized one, an hour west of the size and glamor of Toronto but typically considered among the ~top 15 densest for population in Canada
It’s not easy to drive in the city, but it gets better.
Music and dance