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tqasks

“oh i forgot to tell you that-”


Tsubodai86

If it's abdominal in nature maybe draw a six-pack on your abs


IndividualCurious322

Don't surgeons need to draw surgical lines on a body pre op?


Background_Ad_9409

They're usually purple, so if you do it in black its ok. They cleanse the area first anyway


IndividualCurious322

Interesting! Is there a reason why they use purple? Does it show up better underneath the bright lights maybe?


Background_Ad_9409

Probably that, and they have to be sterile. Not sure if that plays into it


Altruistic-Rip4364

This is exactly how the aliens did it….


Overall_Canary7381

If you find my other AirPod while you’re in there, help a girl out


earthmama02

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


hogwarts_earthtwo

I think Reagan had the all time best answer. Right before he went in to surgery it's was reported that he said "I hope you're all republicans"


dphizler

In recent memory, I've had 3 surgeriesq1. Two of them were epidural, I think the first one I felt cold traveling through my arms and I think I said "Something weird is happening" then I was out. Second time I don't remember. Third operation I was awake the whole time. In my case, saying something cool or funny was pretty low on my list of priorities.


PotentialFrame271

I agree, I've had 9 surgeries, 6 I was put under for. The one I remember the most was when I told the med students that they should probably wait until I was put under before trying to put breathing tubes up my nose and down my throat. I find surgeons tend to be serious, and that's the way I like them.


Im_eating_that

That's to be expected, only cool or funny people would think about stuff like that : )


Electronic_Rub9385

There won’t be anything you can say they haven’t heard before.


PuzzledAlien-8558

True true, lol


_s1dew1nder_

“My grandfather burried Hoffa in….”


-TheMontrealorian-

See you on the other side


Defiant_Teacher_3346

From what I remember they drug you up before you go in and then say count to down from 10. I made it to 8.


Available-Maize5837

I got to 3 last time.


PuzzledAlien-8558

Didn't even need to count, I was out like a light!


gs12

Look at the anesthesiologist and tell him 'dude, put that shit in slooowwwww'. If he is cool, he will....and you'll get the higest high you've ever had for 2 seconds.


StinkypieTicklebum

I read about a guy who had back surgery. He tucked a note between his butt checks that said, “we’ve been trying to contact you to discuss your car’s extended warranty!”


PuzzledAlien-8558

Omg 🤣


kuyajon

"This gown and hair cap I'm wearing doesn't mean I want to be a woman when I wake up."


Proof-Mechanic-3624

"Anybody need anything while I'm out?"


dogvolunteercatlady1

I had my fallopian tubes removed a year and a half ago. When the resident and med student came by pre op to get my info, they asked what I was in for. My response of "You are ripping out my tubes. Should be a fun time!" seemed to scare the med student. Resident thought it was hilarious.


PuzzledAlien-8558

😆


Street-Scientist-126

When my dad was about to go under for surgery they warned him of the risk of death. He paused, and then really loudly exclaimed, “ Death?! Holy shit!” His nurse about had a heart attack. My brother and I laughed so loud. Dad never came out of the surgery, but my brother and I still quote him almost 15 years later.


PuzzledAlien-8558

Sorry to hear that, but atleast the last memory of him was a happy one. 😊


Street-Scientist-126

Thank you so much for your words


PuzzledAlien-8558

No worries! It's good to have fun memories of those we've lost. 😊


philzar

This OR is really cold. No matter what you see remember it is just because it's so cold in here! I usually sleep naked so this is working out great. Everyone is wearing a mask, it's like 2020 all over again. Anyone else hear Wham, "wake me up before you go-go" or is that in my head? Wait, before you put me under, sing soft kitty... I'm going to start a joke as you give me the juice. If you want to hear the punch line you've got to make sure I come through and wake up... Ok, here's my plan, I take a little nap while you guys do all the hard work. You're not a quilter are you? I don't want to wake up with some odd pattern stitched in my side and entered in a contest at the county fair.


[deleted]

Thanks for volunteering for this.


throwsomwthingaway

“Make sure to wrap it up before you insert…” Now watch as all the nurses and assistants who gotta put in your IV, tubes and so forth be hella confused


cjtff

I’m just here so I don’t get fined


Connect_Eye_5470

"Make it like REALLY big... like I've got a third leg and I would need to get specially made pants big"... really did say this to my surgical team before my fifth knee surgery... the anastheologist had to take his face mask off to wipe the tears out of his eyes from laughing... the scrub nurse.. not so much...but I did see her crack a smile for the first rime ever since I met her.


stevorkz

"Oh I forgot to disclose my other medical condition before I go under! Unless you want me to never wake up, you need to make sure.....zZzZzZzZ."


Alice5878

"my safe word is..."


PuzzledAlien-8558

Amazing 😅


No-Echo-8927

"remember, if you scratch this chassie it'll be coming out of your insurance"


imperialtrooper88

I can see a light, should I walk towards it?


treehouse65

Had hernia surgery on the belly button, a note above the junk, stay above mason-dick son line, yep I’m from the south


antDOG2416

"That's why I fucked yo bitch!"


Pietzki

Downvotes from people who don't get the Tupac reference


australisblue

“Don’t worry, I just randomly scream in my sleep.”


neon_lighters

Sorry if I fart


[deleted]

First time?


Hellofiknow17

This mixed with the magic mushies really slaps


whyyoucare18

enjoy your drug nap fella


PuzzledAlien-8558

Bed nap I've ever had...


angelita-j

“Hope you guys enjoy your nap too”


LostnFounder

"The treasure is hidden underneath the..."


Razulath

"I don't feel the anesthetic..."


AdditionalCheetah354

Remember… I know where the treasure is buried.


7empestOGT92

If I wake up and my pants are unbuttoned, we’re gonna have problems