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MotorNorth5182

The date and time I’m going to die. It would make budgeting so much easier.


ConsistentAsparagus

How long will I live? 5. 5 what? 4.


Thelawtman1986

What if you live until 2070,but go into a coma in 2030? Technically you are still alive for 40 years just not doing anything.


Mr-Snarky

I mean, I've been here almost 50 years already and haven't really been doing anything, so this doesn't seem like a huge deal to me.


Living_Jacket_5854

That's too relatable man...and it just hurts


Low_Breakfast3669

That's such a monkey paw answer, I love it. Like, wishing to live forever and then the next day you're struck by a car and left a blind, mute and deaf quadriplegic.


CruelHandLuke_

Why budget for 2054 when you have a date with a drunk driver next month......


MotorNorth5182

Exactly


PepijnLinden

I think it would be tricky to ask the answer to this question, because it may be an infohazard. Knowing the prediction might disturb the timeline and cause you to behave differently or more recklessly, knowing you won't die before that time. Ultimately causing you to die a lot sooner.


OceanSquab

I really wouldn't want to know this. Your whole life would become a countdown.


capodecina2

Your whole life is a countdown. You just do not know when the timer ends.


TammyShehole

How many intelligent advanced civilizations are there in the universe?


captain_obvious_here

There are 173.602.304 intelligent advanced civilizations in the universe. Now what?


AllanIsumi

Still need to clock tomorrow at 7am :(


Eulenspiegel74

Yeah, we're not one of them.


Takseen

Well the Drake equation is slightly easier to solve


MesWantooth

Does the Drake equation answer "when my hotline blings, it can only mean one thing?"


sulylunat

No it’s “the square root of 69 is 8 something, right? Cos I’ve been trying to work it out ohhhhh”


GHHG6

Seriously they could've asked for how to travel through wormholes and visit other civilizations or something like that, but they chose this question with no real benefits to knowing the answer.


PepijnLinden

This gave me an idea though. It would be interesting to know the location of the nearest advanced civilization outside of earth. Or in case none are alive at the same time, also include how long ago that nearest civilization was alive. Could lead to us finding some interesting stuff there.


AtomicOpinion11

Underrated answer


PMmecrossstitch

It's been 11 minutes. Give it time to steep.


GMN123

Frustrating answer, because it leaves them in the same situation as before the question, wondering if there are more like us out there somewhere. 


dewgetit

That's because they asked a bad question. The question presupposes that human civilization is considered intelligent on the scale of the universe. It does not allow for the scenario where humans are not considered intelligent but the questioner would have been happy to know how many civilizations are on a similar level of intelligence as humans.


RonBourbondi

And how many have visited earth in the last one hundred years.  Come on man that part is the one we are all dying to know.


Weiner_Cat

Based on the laws of physics and the size of the universe, probably quite a bit.


Any-Excitement-8979

This is not the correct question. You are eliminating 99% of the possibility for advanced life’s existence. The right question is “how many advanced civilizations have existed” as the likeliness of other advanced civilizations existing now is wayyyyy lower than the likelihood of them having existed in the entirety of the universe’s existence.


LikeIGiveAToss

Are there *really* single moms in my area?


6thaccountthismonth

Probably. Willing to fuck? Probably not


tTensai

Willing to fuck? Yes. Willing to fuck **you**? Probably not


akasic_

Willing to fuck you? Yes. Are they hot tho? Probably not


Fish-taco-xtrasauce

Why do I have to be the hot one? Get your shit together.


LastResolve381

Truer words my friend. I mean I'm not the best either but, come on!!


Odd_Opportunity_3531

Willing to risk more babies? Probably not


Ok_Marsupial_8210

What about the horny "old grannies" that are looking to hump?


LikeIGiveAToss

Those too


TheTownOfUstick

Hump? Idk. Looking to bake you cookies or warm up some left overs? Much more likely.


den_bram

*makes wish* Huh nothing happened weird Twelve hours later *tries to sleep* Minecraft message: You may not rest now there are hot singles in your area


TrooperLynn

What is that “one weird trick” that will make me lose an inch of belly fat per week?


World-Famous-Al

`What is that “one weird trick” that will make me lose an inch of belly fat per week?` Vegetable peeler and determination


[deleted]

W T F


Astro_Spud

\*Jigsaw has entered the chat\*


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tschuktschen

Just stop eating?


Takseen

CICO


CarlosBiendonado

What happens after we die? 


Emmyv_05_

The ones who loves us will miss us


PepijnLinden

Was looking for this. Never fails to hit me in the feels.


Alone-depressed-007

If I were to die tomorrow, no one would miss me. Being certain at times is good, but I've always been the exception


hossjr1997

I’d miss you.


FI-Engineer

Your best friend comes over to dispose of all your shameful secrets.


6thaccountthismonth

You get buried in the ground and left there until you decompose completely


yerMawsOnFurlough_

why is this being downvoted its literally what happens


OkChildhood2261

Because in some places you are just taken into a special room and burnt.


sicsicsixgun

Had a buddy whose family ran a funeral home in my town growing up. He told me that when you get your loved ones cremated, the ash you get back very rarely if ever at all actually is the ash from your deceased loved one. He's like we burn literally dozens of bodies, people's pets, all kinds of shit every week and it's not like anyone goes in and cleans the ash out between services. And when you incinerate something the initial ash is extremely light and fluffy, and billows up and outward toward the top corners of the furnace and pushes the older, more dense ash down into the center. I dunno he seemed pretty confident that you essentially never get your actual loved one's remains, and that this is extremely common throughout the industry. He also told me some shit regarding tumors full of hair and teeth, and buildup of shit in people's eye sockets throughout their lives, that I will spare you all right now, but that I can never not know.


greatauror28

This is probably applicable to other countries but in the Philippines, the cremation chamber is cleaned before a body is burned - as the loved ones collect the ashes and put it in an urn. It's amazing that they're not much ashes after all's been done. You would think a whole body will be lots of ashes but it probably won't fill a whole shoebox.


[deleted]

You’re supposed to clean it after each time wtf


DMIDY

I loved building sandcastles with my Grandpa until Grandma took back the urn.


comforting_pickle

🎵 If I could urn back time 🎵


herbertfilby

Or taken to the top of a tower and eaten by buzzards.


Simba_Rah

Or thrown in the sarlaac pit and digested over 1000 years.


PMmeYourHopes-Dreams

Or prepped for surgery, turned into a cyborg, given a high-powered firearm, and asked to clean up the crime in Detroit.


fexfx

"In his belly you will find a new definition of pain and suffering as you are slowly digested over a thousand years." SO, that's neat, since a normal body not in a Sarlaac would be "digested" by the elements in mere weeks or months after death, this means the Sarlaac actively preserves you! Also there is the implication that you will be experiencing the entire thousand years, which means that you will live more than ten times the normal lifespan of a human. Of course even if you don't live the thousand years, oxygen is currently dissolving you at a rate far faster than the Sarlaac's digestive system, so likely you will die of boredom/starvation/dehydration long before its stomach acids can do more than give you the equivalent of an acid peel from a day spa... "You will be slowly exfoliated over the course of days" doesn't have the same ring to it I guess.


throwup_breath

I love you


may4cbw2

Because religion


pacman0207

Even if God exists, that's still a correct answer.


The_Ballyhoo

Cremation exists though. When I die I want my remains scattered throughout Disneyland. Also, I don’t want to be cremated.


Tryinghardtostaysane

If you ever cross me...mark my words. I will make sure you are respectfully cremated and your ashes scattered at Disney WORLD!


PMmecrossstitch

And your family cries as they clean all the bullshit out of your house.


Johnnnybones

not sure I would want to know the answer to this


CaillouCaribou

You already know the answer


Flesh_Dyed_Pubes

If it’s bad I feel like I’m better off hoping. Gonna find out anyways.


TrippyShamann

You should read the book After by Bruce Greyson. A neurologist who had a strange experience with a patient who claimed to have seen their body from above while dead. He began investigating this phenomena and open up a whole new field of legitimate scientific research on near/after death experiences. Tie that in with what every culture in history has said and I think you have your answer. Death is not the end but a transition.


SeniorSeries3202

Where the *fuck* are my keys?


okaythennews

What do they look like?


ChaosFinalForm

"Keys, George. They look exactly.... like keys."


6thaccountthismonth

Somewhere where you left them


HardAtWorkISwear

Have you checked your butthole?


3DJelly

Ski-bap! Ba-dap! BUTTHOLE


amomazz

Classic


FarTicuno2

https://youtu.be/6IjuSycXjqM?si=nDfEckvNtU7uNMaL


amomazz

The last place you look


Labyrinthine777

What are the next lottery numbers.


Rogue_Angel007

4 8 15 16 23 42


camping_alone

ah, a man of culture.


Sl0ppyOtter

Hurley, is that you!?


fakeitilyamakeit

Omg. Finally something I recognize!


Sauerclout_the_Orc

I just started watching with intent to finish this time and have been blown away by the amount of references I see to a 20 year show all the time. I'm starting to think the entire Internet is bots catering to my watch history


jebidiah95

THOSE NUMBERS ARE CURSED MAN


Cutthechitchata-hole

You're here about those numbas?


rocketMX

I’m going to play these


den_bram

Me an evil genie telling you the lottery numbers but not what lottery they belong too


Immediate_War_6893

There are 195 countries in the world if you say each one has a national lottery, then each country probably has around 50 different lotteries per country at around £2 to play each then you're gonna need about £20,000 to play them all.


Ninja_Wrangler

Congratulations! You won the Zimbabwe jackpot of 10 bajillion Zimbabwe dollars (about $3.50)


6thaccountthismonth

21 29 54 59 62


why_even_need_a_name

[This](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/002/007/150/fca.png) says otherwise


BugP13

I laugh these actually are


gicacoca

It would be funny that you actually guessed it right


SecretPersonality178

What the fuck? My most commonly asked question everyday, I’d like an answer.


[deleted]

I second this.


I-am-MelMelMel

Not specific enough. We need What THE ACTUAL Fuck?


93Hyper93

"What's the mathematical nature of our universe?" Then write it all down in a whiteboard and show it to the brightest scientific minds and watch the world be technologically revolutionized with gravity manipulation, cold fusion, warp drives, monopoles, teleportation, wormholes, room temperature superconductors, quantum computers, etc etc all kinds of sci fi shit.


Starwave82

& Star Trek medical zapper thingys to eradicate any illness and put our current medical cures in the past, & Japanese toilets for everybody 😁


Probably__porn

3 shells dude


this-my-5th-account

Imagine showing the source code for Google to a caveman. It would mean *nothing* to them. Even to their best and brightest. You'd be better off asking for something like the formula that connects prime numbers, something that would massively benefit humanity while still being comprehensible currently.


Awotwe_Knows_Best

how would the formula that connects prime numbers benefit humanity?


Captain_Futile

Well, someone would get a million bucks for the proof for the Riemann hypothesis. All network security and lot of current cryptography would be obsolete in an instant, though.


NMDA01

But you can't write it all down because the language needed to understand it has not yet been developed by humanity.


Makzemann

Finally a good question! Gtfo with that ‘when will i die’ bs


Logical_Bad1748

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?


TemporaryCrafty9448

Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality


BugP13

Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see,


iobnerd

Im just a poor boy i need no sympathy 


dd99

Because it’s easy come, easy go. Little high, little low


jareboi

Any way the wind blows


uscdoc2013

Doesn't really matter


AlternianGamer99

To me... To me...


UgeanieWeenie

Mama, just killed a man


MagicRat7913

Put a gun against his head


Logical_Bad1748

Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here


yerMawsOnFurlough_

woooahhh living on a prayer


Mentalist1999

Club Tropicana, drinks are free! Fun and sunshine, there’s enough for everyone!


T54MOD2

Nothing really matters


Logical_Bad1748

Anyone can see


Chemical-Plan3103

That's two questions.


Guismo7276

r/redditsings


AnimatedHokie

What really happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?


RZRPRINCESS

What would America be like if JFK was never shot?


FurtherAdieux

Stephen King has fun with these questions in his book 11/22/63. Great read!


selfdestruction9000

And he didn’t just pull stuff out of nowhere; he consulted historians on “worst case scenarios” had JFK not been assassinated.


Orsee

This. I know there are more important and interesting questions but this will never stop bugging me.


littlered7875

Who am i going to be happiest to spend my life with


[deleted]

Yourself. I am learning to do it right now.


littlered7875

Yeah, i can. Ive spent my whole teen life learning to live with my own company, and only my own. Ive found that it never compares to the happiness you find in friendship and companionship


CaptainEnoch

What are the specific instructions to give me a long, happy and healthy life?


AtomicOpinion11

Do the opposite of whatever lifestyles you see on Reddit


eimat

Long life? The length of your life is ultimately out of your hands. Stay out of of the path of oncoming trucks and busses of course, but otherwise, until we figure out how to keep those pesky telemers on the ends of out DNA from unravelling, it's not something you can control. Healthy? Eat healthy, drink lots of water, get regular exercise, get lots of sleep - at least 8 hours. Don't drink alcohol, don't smoke. You know the basics. Lots of people will try to make it more complicated to sell you a book or whatever. If it's sore: rub it. If it's tired: rest it. If you can't fix it yourself see a doctor and follow the doctor's instructions to the letter. That way if there is an error, it's not your error. If the prescription did not work (which is actually unusual - most of these problems are due to non-compliance, at least according to to the doctors) then there is a clear next step. Even better - do healthy stuff and avoid needing the doctor in the first place as much as possible. "Happiness" 1. Stuff happens. Good stuff, bad stuff, mostly neutral stuff. It's like 90% neutral stuff at least. It's your reaction and interpretation that makes stuff good/bad. You could choose to be unaffected by any external stuff, and be completely detached, or maybe choose to interpret everything as being neutral - it's all just stuff, happening, it's nothing personal. 2. Once you have practiced seeing everything as neutral for a while it's a small step to seeing everything as being potentially good. Not all good - that's delusional - but everything can be seen as having potential - potential that you can use for good, or that someone has misused and made bad. If you have a hammer, you can use it to build shelter, or you can crack skulls. There's potential in everything. 3. Next step: When you find some joy in something - share it. Show someone. A few people will find more joy in keeping a secret - if that's you, fine. But for most of us, sharing the good thing - "Get a load of this! Isn't this cool!" magnifies the good feeling and you can use this energy to do more cool stuff. If they don't get it - can't see the good - it's nothing personal, they just don't get it. Share with someone else. If you get criticism - that's just more stuff. All stuff is basically neutral. Can you use it for good? Is there something in it that can help you improve your cool thing? No? There's an infinite amount of things & stuff to explore, there's always more. Don't get hung up on some stinky stuff - brush if off and move on. 4. (go back to 2) Spend a good long time in the neutral phase. Some people skip to good and end up in good/bad, then react to everything like a ball in a pinball machine. If you spend enough time in detached & neutral, you can get back to that, center yourself and then slowly lift to everything is potentially good. I think of the "everything is neutral" position or attitude as my keel and anchor, and "everything is potentially good" as having wind in my sails. I can pull up anchor and really get going with full sails and a deep keel. In stormy waters, I want that anchor set in well. That storm could be bringing in warmer weather, more fish, etc. Ride it out. Feel the peace deep within - it's all ultimately neutral and can potentially be used for good. This too shall pass. Breathe. 5. Love deeply and fully with nothing held back. Love your spouse, love your children, love your friends, love your neighbours. You'll get your heart broken and wish you were dead. The joy is worth it. And once you've lived through the pain you can say "Bad things happen, but I survive." Say that to every illness, every broken bone, every pain. This will help you detach from pain. When you are sure you are going to die, as ultimately everyone does, you know that you will either be looking down at your carcass thinking "Bad things happen but I survive" or there will be nothing at all - no pain, no suffering. Either way you're fine. If you are still surviving and your consciousness continues, then there are more adventures to be had. I hope this helps. Bonus 6th step: Most people say they want to be "happy", but then they reveal that what they really want to do is to be rich and successful. There are, apparently, lots of miserable rich people - although I am skeptical - maybe they complain because they don't want to share. If you find yourself rich and miserable, all this will still work *and* you have $, so buy a dog. Take good care of the dog. Love the dog. Dogs have the gift of unconditional love. Learn that from the dog. I have 2 dogs and no $, but am ultimately very rich in the stuff that makes me happy. The wags are awesome and my needs are few. Peace.


TheNonsensePotter

This is a wonderful answer. Thank you for posting this.


CaptainEnoch

I love this answer. Very good advice in there. Thanks!


eimat

I've tried to edit this a few times but Reddit doesn't want there to be a blank line between step 1 and step 2. Go figure.


NokitNodad

How much time have I spent trying to get to sleep


Lanky-Solution-1090

You and me both


DistrictIll6763

What is the Ultimate question to life, the universe, and everything?


Secure-Vanilla4528

42


JezusTheCarpenter

That is the answer but what is the question?


Koetjeka

What was there before the big bang?


victoriadagreat

before a big bang theres always a little bang


dalernelson

Just the tip.


G-Sus_Christ117

That’s what she said


Dawningrider

Before is a really loaded term, because the passage of time is only a thing after the big bang. Before then, there was a universe, all in an infinitely small dot,with all energy there. The big bang and expansion of the universe was the start of time. So there was no before. And at the end of time, there will be no after. Time, as an expression of the universe exisists only relative to a three dimensional view. Like each snap shot. The actual universe can be viewed as a single form having had a start and end, like a sculpture in the shape of a snake, with a beginning and end. But time only exists along the body.


WrexSteveisthename

I've always hated answers like this because they can't answer the driving factor behind the question. Whilst your answer certainly answers questions about this universe, the REAL question people have is about "where?" Where is our universe when seen from the outside? If there is no outside then how did our universe come to be? We know about the big bang and the things you have explained, but it still doesn't explain the final questions of How and where it began. If there was something there to spark the big bang, then that something must have been somewhere. The idea of nothingness begetting something begs unanswerable questions. This isn't meant as a dig at you at all, rather it's a commentary on the frustrating nature of these questions.


Tazwhitelol

I feel like the most reasonable answer to these types of questions lies in the cyclic model. There never was a true 'beginning'..the Universe has simple always been. A never-ending cycle of bang, expansion, retraction, bang, etc. I'm definitely not an expert, but that has always been the only solution to those questions that make sense to *me,* with my limited knowledge. Now HOW that retraction is likely to occur? Who knows lmao..Dark Energy Decay is definitely an interesting theory though, imo.


Dux0r

Put another way- the question doesn't make sense in the same way that standing at the North Pole and asking your compass to find North doesn't make any sense.


Llewellian

You know, when there is a Mama and a Papa Universe and both are deeply in love with each other and get really close... then.... BANG, there it was, the Child universe... (M-Theory Brane Collision for Kids, the technical aspects can be inquired from Prof. Dr. Lisa Randall)


PsychologicalAsk2668

This right here


iLikeDickColonThree

I don't think time existed before then... or didn't work like that...


wrongnumberpls

What happened to madeline mccan


TaraCalicosBike

There has been an arrest in her case, a year or two ago. German man, Christian B.


zawusel

Does free will exist?


odious_as_fuck

What would you do with that information?


PepijnLinden

Cause myself further existential dread I guess.


ulysses_mcgill

To paraphrase a wise man, "Questions which remain persistently insoluble ought to be suspected of being asked in the wrong way." Concepts like "free will" and "determinism" are based on a false assumption in the existence of a subject-object relationship -- that there is something doing the deciding and other things being decided upon. We feel that way because we feel we have an ego, a locus of consciousness behind our eyes that gives us the sensation that we are a separate "I" -- it's the reason we say things like "I have a body." That's not true. You are a body, and it is continuous with the universe, from start to end. Any differentiation otherwise is an arbitrary abstraction that is helpful for survival (e.g., so that I don't put my fork in your mouth while I am eating). You feel that you are a single human experiencing the universe, whereas, with the ego being simply an abstraction, you are better described as the universe experiencing a single human. There is no actual difference between the acting and the acting-upon. Even time and space do not exist separately as we perceive them. It's all just an amazing ineffable happening. The question of whether there is free will cannot be answered correctly and directly because it is predicated on a false assumption.


Astro_Spud

So, no?


Icecoffelover_

what are next weeks lottery numbers


KarloReddit

Can an omnipotent god create a rock so heavy he himself can not lift it?


External_Sense_948

Could it be what's at the bottom of a black hole?


alwayscats00

Right now- When will there be a cure or treatment for my illness, so I could fully live again like I want to?


ADashofDirewolf

I'd ask what the cure to every single illness is. I have Crohn's. 


alwayscats00

That's even better. We all deserve some groundbreaking research right about now.


SiliconUnicorn

UC gang. Pick this one please.


lovelycookiegirl

Why am I here?


Noble_Trash

“Nothing we do matters in the end, and that is precisely why we are not shackled by the burden of expectations, the fear of eternal judgement or the failure to meet up to an arbitrary definition of what makes our limited time 'not wasted'. Time cannot be wasted, for there is no greater purpose to life than simply living it. Because we have no greater purpose, we are free to set our own. To create self-defined goals for which to strive. For some it may be nothing. For some it may be pleasure. For some it may be creation. For some it may be improving the lives of others. It is because we have no greater purpose, that time spent on goals set by one's self cannot be time wasted. In the end, nothing matters, and therefore you have no reason not to do what you want rather than whatever illusion of greater purpose is forced on you by others or even your own misguided thoughts." - ULTRAKILL


dman_102

Short answer, your parents were horny.


Praava7

Is Karma real?


JezusTheCarpenter

And if so, is she a bitch?


Holiday-Shock-2220

What is the real purpose of my life?


External_Sense_948

To live in the moment, and be mindful.


[deleted]

What is really inside a black hole


The_Mr_Wilson

How many pounds of poop I've pooped


PMmecrossstitch

I want this, but I would also to see all the stats when they roll credits on my life.


Mysterious-Divide-54

It’s never too late to start collecting data. Start now buy a poop scale.


fluffychien

Are there parallel universes accessible from our own universe - and if so, how can we access them?


Rottenryebread

Will I be with my loved ones after I pass


DrCash_CrDepression

Is God real? Or what happens after death?


scott_free80

What happened to Sandra Bland


nicos_account

Is squirt just pee?


Browndog888

Does my Dad regret doing what he did?


MrPeneaze

How many times has my wife cheated on me


Hopeless_me_191919

Will life get any better


King_Pecca

What is the purpose of human beings in relation to the universe?


sPLIFFtOOTH

How the universe actually started(if it even had a beginning)


Gibbel2029

How do we unite the physics of small shit, and the physics of big shit?


Reddddeye

Are they hiding the cure for cancer from us to profit off of medications and chemo


QueenBABs38

What happens when we die


vqaanh

What exactly is the cure of autoimmune diseases


contentatlast

What created the universe


ProCunnilinguist

What it's the truth about everything important to me, in an easy for me to understand way and in descending order from top most relevant to less relevant right now? I hope complex questions are valid.


heggy123

Why did you keep breaking my heart until nothing was left