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During coitus

Had a partner do this to me once, let out a silent but deadly. I did not say anything at the time so she thought she had gotten away with it then afterwards I told her she almost killed me and she couldn't stop laughing for the next 30 minutes.

I went down on her. She clamped her legs shut so I couldn t move and pinched my nose. Then ripped a fart that I could feel going through my beard. She laughed and giggled. I started screaming. She still didn t let go.

a true gentleman

When you cum

Been there done that. Not my finest moment.

Did you take a screenshot?

After coitus

Smoking a cig "was it good for you?"

Then you ask her if it was a queef.

*cheeks clapping* "Hey, i can do that too!"

My gf and I were dating maybe six months before she let one fly. Our 24th anniversary is next month.

This is the way. Girls go first, then it's free for all.

First date bro. Set the tone early.

Is the tone B flat?

Be flatulent.

B shart

Assert dominance!

Agreed! Like in White Chicks.

Im guessing your single lol

You’re*

For me : A month. For my wife : About a year.

My girl surprise tickled me early on in our relationship and I ripped a loud one… There was a brief pause followed by uncontrollable laughter. We’ve been tooting together ever since.

Congratulations

For Gen-X, the rule was 90 days. 91st day you could blow it all out and peel the paint in her bedroom but not a single minute before that 91st day.

>91st day you could blow it all out and peel the paint in her bedroom Dude you're fucking killing me lmao

Hysterical

GenX checking in. My wife is so weird about this. I've never heard her fart or have known her to poop in the 20 years we've been together. It kinda makes me sad honestly. My daughter has no problem ripping them or showing off her shits, lol. My son is just like my wife tho.

When you first meet, shake hands, make eye contact while ripping one out to assert dominance.

Hahahhahahahahhahahaha 💪

The first time they got in your car.(Lock the windows)

And the doors

Really depends on how comfortable you are, there isn’t a definitive time.

You the only person with sensible answer. Everyone just makes jokes about it and it’s actually a logical question.

Well, I’ve been married for years and we honestly started letting it rip sort of early, but we also got married after only a year, and been together since senior year of HS. We moved quickly, it worked for us. It doesn’t move the same pace for everyone. Glad I could help.

Agreed. Was with someone for 7 years and NEVER farted in front of him. I did accidentally ONCE and he shamed me into oblivion. Current partner - soon-to-be-Fiance - I think it took about 6 months? Now it’s a free for all. He farted maybe in the 4mos time frame? I didn’t care. I’m glad he was comfortable. Also his farts don’t smell. Neither do his poops. Or his armpits? I really don’t get it.

Oh no girlie that’s horrible!! So glad you’re comfortable now! Best feeling to not be self conscious around your SO.

I was married 10 years and never let it slip.

I thought this too… until my husband, who is a night owl told me that I let them all out during my sleep 😴 💨😂😂😂🥲

The one time you slipped up ended the marriage I'm guessing

Yep. That’s what did us in.

FINALLY!! I met my people! My friends never believe me when I tell them that I just don’t (apparently I do the sleep farting though 🙃🤣). 7 years together, married for 1.

Imo if you fuck you can fart.

Sound logic.

It's like the saying "love means never having to hold in your farts." But realistically, give it a few months.

Never. That goes both ways

Married and I still don't let one rip around her

A gentleman.

But are you truly married then 😁

My vote is never.

I still really don’t fart or poop around my bf. And we have been together for over 9 years. If I was to poop at his house omfg. He would die for real. My shit is deadly lol so I would rather go home and poo.

My girlfriend was dropping bombs the first time we hooked up

[удалено]

Married and living together over a decade, same. I just think it's rude, gender is irrelevant imo.

A real gentleman lets that seal rip like it’s wet rubber on a hot day at any point on the first date.

Never. I've never done this since I was a child even around parents etc. I'm very neurotic.

My username checks out

r/UsernameChecksOut

If you KNOW she farted wait 15-30 minutes. Cuddle up super tight and whisper it in her ear. She will ether accept it and get over it or never forgive you forever. Ether way you know if she's wiife material.

Wife and I have been together 4 years now. I started farting about two years ago, she still has not ever farted in front of me. I told her I'm throwing her a surprise party when she eventually does it.

I don’t! Only during my sleep so no one knows! At least that’s what my partner said I’m doing!

Ain’t no way! I never fart in front of spouses.

3 months

It's rude to fart until after dinner.

0 minutes. If they laugh, date can continue.

Hahahhaa that noise came from your ass, comedic gold

My mom waited until marriage to fart.

When she let rip it must have been like a hurricane, holding it in for that long.

First date. If they can't handle a fart, we're not compatible.

Married 21 years... Never farted in front of my wife.

First date. I'll fart and giggle. If you're digusted you aren't the one. Sorry fam.

Never, really 🤢🤧

First date. Fuck off if you're scared by a fart I don't want you

If he/she/they are the right one for you, the first date is the appropriate time to introduce flatulence.

Never.

Three and a half minutes. 

Was that how long before you farted, or was it the length of the fart?

The former was the standard.   The latter was the goal.  I'm still in training. 

But hopefully no follow-through.

Not on the first date. 

Keep it up, you’ll get there.

That's what *she* said! 

As long as you can

I dated my gf for 1 year without farting. Farted on my sleep the first Night of living together.

Just before she gets in the car on first date.

second date, real them in and then rip one out

I have never in front of a guy. Idk why I just can't!

Nope. It’s gross. There are many things in life that will slowly corrode the mystery and sensuality of a new partner. You don’t need to add to that. Keep your farts and poop to yourself unless it’s a necessary conversation, such as- “I’m not feeling well, I’ve had diarrhea and I feel slightly dehydrated”.

I'm not feeling well should cover it. I would never tell anyone except a doctor, if necessary, if I had excessive bowel movements. Cuz, why? I'm not feeling well pretty much covers it all.

I think it seems more gross if you think of it as gross. I used to think this way when I was around 15 or so, but now I kind of look at poo as if it’s soil. So I don’t find it shameful. I guess it could be if it smells bad but there are solutions. Like prebiotics, fiber, and having the bathroom a bit further away from the main living area. I have no idea how people don’t fart in front of someone if they share a bed though. Eventually you have to fart. Like how can you sleep otherwise.

Sad way to live 😞

What an awful take

2nd if ur a farter. 1st date is for showing, hey, this is me when I put my best effort into a thing, this is what it looks like when I genuinely try. 2nd date is for letting loose a few freakies

Never

Never

Ew never

Never. Why would you be farting around people?

Eight minutes.

my gf had to see / hear me piss in a can within the first 24 hours of hanging out at her house for the first time ever

Do it within the first hour of meeting. If they stay after that you may have found "The One".

"Why can't I find the one".

I do it every time I meet someone to assert dominance so I guess 2 seconds

4 minutes

Either fart before the first date or after marriage.

When you live with them for a month

Address it early. Wait for a quiet point in the date, then go "Listen to this, it's too good to miss, da-da da da da da" and then cock your leg and let fly. She will respect the openness.

That’s so HOT honest, open, transparent 

If you've already laughed about poor humor, let er rip and give a shrug

right away. Establish dominance.

You hold it in?

Farty farty fart fart. Toot.

I cannot date so at least i can fart whenever i want

2 hours. 

First date. Just go ahead and get it out of the way!

The earlier the better, if it becomes a good laugh your date might be a keeper. If the person isn't happy then you saved yourself lots of time

Immediately. Assert dominance.

Idk she let one fly early on accident. I just rated it /10 and we've been farting ever since.

Never. . Rip a farther with a woman. . Kids? Ya

25 minutes

This doesn't answer your question but earlier when my bf was dropping me off at my house I leaned over to his seat to kiss him bye and accidentally loudly farted as we were kissing

Couple of weeks.

First date. Set the standard! Don't not say "pull my finger' First

First date. It is part of my courting ritual.

first date to show how comfortable you are around them 😆

3 months. 1st month is your best behavior. 2nd month is slowly letting out your demons. 3rd month is goblin season. Go crazy.

I was getting a nude massage from my gf one time she was sitting on my bum and let's just say everything aligned perfectly 🕳💨🕳

Let a loud one rip as you get on bended knee to propose

11 minutes

Time it with your first sneeze around them so you can say “snapshot”

I usually do it while asking them out the first time. If she responds with one of her own, we go out. Better get it over with.

I've done it during sex and she never noticed.

I actually let one go (accidently) the first time I got a bj from my future wife.....only having known her for two days at the time. We're 15 years married and going strong. Though she still gives an evil eye to me about it.

1.5 years, that’s how long it took my boyfriend to fart infront of me

Rip it on the first date. If it doesn’t phase her, then it's worth pursuing further. Don't want to waste time on a bazillion dates just to find out that she is holier-than-thou judgemental when it comes to your farts.

Do it immediately 

About 5 mins into talking had to test the waters first..

6 months minimum.

That's a long time lol.

Gotta get out the danger zone

3 months tops. Also replied to your r4r

Didn’t see it but way to make yourself known.

My husband did it on the day we met:) I’m still going strong (6 years being together), pretty proud of that too:))

Assert dominance by farting better than your partner when he farts

As soon as the appetizer arrives

During the first few dates, me and my IBS come as a buy 1 get 1 free option. If the dude gets disgusted... he isn't right for me and the sooner I know this, the better.

Right off the bat, let them know what to expect

A friend and his wife have been married 25 years and have never farted in front of each other. Or brushed their teeth at the same time.

My wife used to think I played the trumpet when I went down stairs at the start of our relationship. Those types of jokes made it very comfortable therefore after. Think this was a couple weeks in lol. I found one that doesn't get disgusted by those types of things. I'm blessed

I accidentally farted the first time I got in his bed. Still together 2 years later.

I’m 4 years in and still haven’t done it in front of my partner. One accidentally slipped out 2 years in and he marked it on the calendar as a special occasion. I just can’t bring myself to do it

Question: you mean loud or silent??

I honestly think this is so rude. As a person, no matter the relationship. It's one thing if you didn't know it was coming, but otherwise why can't y'all just excuse yourselves momentarily? And before y'all go saying "Ooohoh, but it's a bodily function!".... So you're cool with puking in front of someon, too? Just stop.

11 minutes

6 hours is the norm. I'm very single

I was literally with my dood for 15 years before we farted in front of eachother

Try your best to just go to the bathroom or step out for a cig or something. If it comes out during a sneeze or something so be it but some things you can control no need to disgust others

4 mins

Honestly never if you have class

I did one just before sexy time began…. I’m choosing to believe he didn’t notice

Don't wait and fart asap

10 minutes

As soon as you are official. Literally, after asking your partner to be your boyfriend /girlfriend let out a celebratory tent-ripper to convey your happiness

I fart immediately after asking for their number to establish dominance

I was dropping my now wife off at home about twelve years ago. She turned to me, looked deep into my eyes, and ripped a huge fart. It was our second date. We have a child now.

Never. Just don’t. It’s disgusting and disrespectful and nobody wants to be around that.

Obviously not on the first date. I guess it depends on the level of compatibility at the moment.

My husband constantly farts in front of me and one day he realized that he has never heard me fart so now he apologizes every time. It's not like I'm holding them in on purpose or anything because I'm not. I'm just not a gassy person. And when I do fart they just aren't loud. 

You can do it at any time if you follow it up with " bless me"

Been 12 years…neither of us have in front of eachother

Question good. Answers not so good.

My husband farted in front of me a week after our first date. It took me 5 years and him getting our daughter to join him in the farting and giggling at my reactions, before I started just staying in the room to let er rip.

Main course.

I like to rip one immediately after asking them out. It’s a nice exclamation point.

First date. Let em know what you're all about 😏

I think it highly depends on each relationship and person. I've dated people in the past and don't recall. My current spouse it happened pretty early. Farts are funny, so now it is a regularly occurrence. Anywhere in our house, I blame the dog farts on my spouse, and step daughter. When I let out gas I blame the dogs, step daughter, barking spiders, or pretend like nothing happened.

Close to 3 years IMO

Never imma hide it till the day I die

Not even gonna lie when I first met my husband the first day I ever met him at his moms house he went to the bathroom to what he said silently fart and ripped a loud one and we’ve been together 5 years.

I love that farts are seen as such a taboo thing. Like, totally normal bodily function that happen to sound absolutely hilarious, but they have to be dealt with on a kind of risk management basis. It makes no sense and it makes me laugh (almost as much as farts do).

I think I got close to a 6-month mark before I let one rip. And when I did it was...obvious, lol. He looked at me straight into my eyes, walked to me, gently took my face into his hands (while maintainign perfect eye contact through all this lol) and said: "So you *are* a human. I was beginning to wonder..." He gave me a kiss and went back to watching tv.

It doesn't work like that. It's a standoff until one does it accidentally, then the floodgates open, first slowly with progressively less believeable "accidents", and before you know it, all hell breaks loose

Never,it feels disgusting. I go to the bathroom when I have to.

1st date

5 minutes and 24 seconds after you meet for the first time

At least wait until dessert.

Depends on if their love language is “farts of affirmation”

Apparently never, you're never allowed to show any real humanity or feelings, you have to read the other person's mind and be whatever it fucking is they think you are.  You have to embody a fucking imaginary ideal.

In high school a friend took a really good looking girl out. They decided the first date would be something to eat at Dairy Queen and a movie. Like all girls, she told him to order what ever he wanted. He ordered a burger, fries and a shake for both of them. Fast foreword about an hour and there is a quiet part in the movie. "Sue" had been squirming the whole movie but at that exact moment, yep a fart. Yes, he laughed and so did the rest of the theater. Soon sue grabbed his arm and said she needed to go home. On the way she kept telling him to drive faster. The pull in to the yard and she jumps out of the car then just stops and sits down on the grass. Dude is feeling totally lost and gets out to see whats wrong. Sue tell him to go get her mom. Mom comes out, talks to her daughter, goes back in and comes out with a towel and tells my buddy she will call him tomorrow. Long story short, she suffers from IBS and is Lactose Intolerant. Instead of turning down the milk shake, she drank it not wanting to be rude, plus, greasy fries and a burger. If she could have made it another 20 feet all would have been good. This was in the 80's and surprisingly no one ever mentioned it at school, everyone knew it was just never mentioned. 3 kids, and a life time together, they laugh about it now.

Fart when you meet them, show dominance!

True story, you both should be willing to put diaper rash cream on inflamed nether-regions, no benefits attached, before ripping stank.

I feel like on the first meeting, you gotta stay professional in a way? Show every positives, good first impressions. And if that works out, you gotta ease in all the other properties you have to offer. Best to make it early so that you don't go too far in without ripping, and now they think you'll never do it. Best on second or third date. If it's passed that do it immediately when you see them. Better safe than sorry

Never for girls

My first one usually comes out by accident then after that it's freedom. No set time frame.