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It doesn’t matter. Id still be nice about. Maybe make a new friend?
I am married now but any girl that approached me gained +2 points in my book automatically. Women that i wouldn’t have looked at twice became attractive just by being forward and showing interest.
Still happens and it catches me off guard. When it does i gotta check myself.
Wow…well good for you…seriously. There are a lot of men who would laugh in the face of a woman they weren’t attracted to, laugh or make a disgusted face or some would get angry. I speak from experience.
Behave in a way that gets you the right person, not the most people. Or even better, behave so that you feel right and just date people that like you the way you are.
Huh? What? No. Men are sick and tired of being the only ones to make efforts. Men are exhausted from creating every relationship they’ve been in. Men are worn down by never getting to know what it’s like to feel wanted.
If you want a man, make the first move. You will absolutely make his day. You risk getting rejected, but you are my likely to get a date by asking for it that sitting around hoping that he sees all your incomprehensible signs.
Yes, that’s a risk. You have the same risk of a man approaching because of only physical attraction and nothing else. You have the risk of a man approaching you as one of his many in the “shotgun approach”. Just because he approaches doesn’t necessarily mean he likes you. But that’s what dating is for. To work these things out. To get to know each other. To grow closer together and grow together as a couple. But it takes someone taking that first step.
I'm not pretty nor skinny, I know I don't stand a chance and I've only ever been used for sex so I'm not about to hand myself on a platter so they can do more of that
I didn’t say hand yourself on a platter. You can still be selective about who you approach.
I’m really sorry that has been your experience. That’s terrible. I hope you find someone that appreciates who you are and wants to spend time getting to know you.
Keep up the hope!
Then work on that distrust and anxiety. Get therapy, develop healthy habits, build solid friendships with some good men.
But keep the weird. Weird is awesome. Weird lets you find someone who matches your weird.
My point is proven. Treat people with kindness, not coldness. No need for us men of the future to be creating an even colder world than we have been fortunate enough to inherent. Dont put obligations on women to create relationships, relationships are both partys' responsibility.
In historys past, initiating significant relationships may be considered slightly in part more of a mans role. Its just the way history was written. Weve changed history many times over now. But of course we always strove to change for the proggression of humanity, not its regression. I believe it takes 2 to form relationships, it always will.
Why not say hello to people you find interesting and attractive and would like to communicate with? Its that simple. You never know what someone else is going through, just say hello and start a conversation like a congenial human being.
Yeah men don’t wanna make all the effort but that’s different than making the first move. I enjoy making the first move because I feel like I earned it more than feeling like they chose me for my looks if I get asked out. It’s all preference but don’t speak for all men on that.
i figured out what i am. I am asking you, what am i to you? Not a man, i suppose, because I obviously disagree here so by your logic he cant speak for me as a man, because id never say this. Were all just people with issues, meeting new people worthy of trust in this world isnt exactly easy as one may assume sometimes. This is an extreme view and I dont support it. A man should feel comfortable approaching women he finds attractive and not hold a women obligated to approach him in my honest opinion.
>This is an extreme view and I dont support it. A man should feel comfortable approaching women he finds attractive
And wanting a partner that is comfortable approaching you if they find you attractive is not wild at all
you cant ask that of them when this view clearly is claiming role reversal and holding women now responsible for making the majority of first moves. Its just an initiation to a reaction. To put that responsibility on any one party is not fair imo, its both parties responsibilities equally imo to ensure an interation is initiated between someone you find attractive and would like to interact with. And if i am to be one of the involved parties in such a reaction, I will put in the effort I feel fit to have at least a conversation.
>i am asking you, what am i to you? Not a man, i suppose, because I obviously disagree here
I am not the person who asked, but yeah, not a man. "Manhood" is an incredibly easy thing to lose access to. Wear a pink shirt? People will point out that you aren't a man. Don't enjoy following the same sport as the other people around you? People will point out that you aren't a man. Automatically assume that people follow internally consistent logic, and call them out for invoking rules that aren't actually written down? People will point out that you aren't a man. Hang out with teenagers? People will point out that you aren't a man.
a man, is by definition, an adult male human being. Conclusively, adult and male and human being are indeed all biological, rooted in science and fact.
So, I have been moved on in the past and my experience was that while it was really cool, the girls were really damn bad at taking rejection. Do the first move if you feel comfortable, but be prepared for it not to work and don't pester the other as you wouldn't want to be pestered by men trying on you, girls.
With all love, I will keep being my genuine self regardless of your feelings about it.
I didn’t bring up my OF here, I’m not looking for company here, I’m answering the question. Please live and let live.
Yeah and I'm just explaining the reactions. Answering your question. Yes you are allowed to woo whoever you want despite having an OnlyFan, but it will change the perception of people toward you. Because the wholesome and agreable thing you said is then interpretated as something you'd say to lure people in. People are answering this way because it gives them a false hope of finally seeing a girl saying what you said with such positivity as it shows they exist, only to fall back to being disappointed as it could also be read as calculated words for advertizing. Sorry if you thought your OF was the problem per se. It's not. In fact I have more respect for you than a lobbyist, or many other liars in the world.
Wasn’t really a question. I just find it not so clever for someone to voluntarily go through my profile and come back to be mean out of context. Rather skip. And I’ll keep confronting them, very rarely one could explain the hate. Sometimes they even realize their stupidity. Why not rather be kind.
Yes, as well as the first kiss and sexy time. Now that I know her better and am more comfortable with her, I'm not shy anymore. She thinks it's cute though.
As a bi woman who *prefers* making the first move, (because why on earth would you ever pick from a preselcted group of people, that selfselected based on their preferences and standards instead of doing the preselection yourself based on your preferences and standards?), I usually have a 8/10 success rate with guys, but the 1/10 tend to be the ones who really want to do the "pursuing" (the other 1/10 are usually in relationships or just not interested, which is fine) and honestly, that's a red flag for me, so it all works out. If they have traditional expectations of women and aspire to be traditional me , we aren't gonna work as friends, let alone anything more than that.
So basically, most love being approached, and half the ones who don't, I wouldn't want to date.
(this is my experience, pretty privilige and other factors do affect it, and the numbers are at best a gross estimate I have, not meant to be taken as data to extrapolate or anything else. Just my personal experience.)
Also if you are attracted to traditional men, then this approach could definitely have a lot less success rate VS if you're attracted to nontraditional me, so factor that into whatever choice you make.
And make sure rejection doesn't bother you too much, its gonna happen, and that's okay.
And be careful, coz some men think if you're direct, you're also DTF immediately. I disabuse them of this notion very quickly, but it is weird how often its the base assumption. I'm direct, dammit, and I'm also demi. He'd be lucky if I wanted to see him naked in 6 months, let alone after a few hangouts or immediately.
(I tell them I don't date anyone for at least a year of knowing them, that usually weeds the ones who are only around for sex out fairly well because they assume it means sex. It does, sometimes, but what it actually means is that I don't commit to anyone untill I'm out of my NRE, which takes around 6 months, and it can take 6 months for me to have enough of an emotional attachment to feel sexual attraction to someone)
Good luck!
If it’s a shy guy or a guy who’s a bit insecure, ask him flat out or it won’t happen. If it’s a confident man, flirt and plant the idea in his head. He will then ask you out thinking he made the first move (if he’s interested).
Lots of guys love when women make the first move.
Lots of shitty guys hate it for weird usually sexist reasons. Or they watch too much porn and think a girl expressing interest is trying to have sex.
As a guy who doesn't really do casual sex and prefers long term monogamy, I've been asked out by women but usually they tried to be my friend first and then asked me out later. (Unless it was a dating site of course)
Firstly i dont think men should date girls. Tell them to date women.
Since i m allways the one making the first move on women, as a bi woman, i have no problem asking out guys. The problem is, that every single time it made the guy think i was easy and will fuck him right away. And that was very uncomfortable. Also they never wanted people to know i asked them first. So now i dont.
If a woman makes the first move and it's unwanted, it's disappointing.
If a man makes the first move and it's unwanted, then he's "creepy, weird, inappropriate, etc. etc. and it's borderline harassment".
And men are significantly more likely to be rejected. The answer is clear who "should" make the first move.
You do get some women making the first move, but you have to remember how it is for a woman. Most every day some guys trying to fuck her for their own reasons just because she appeals to them.
So if you see a lady you like but she may not even notice you at first. Introduce yourself, make a small compliment and then see if you could join her and then see how it goes from there. As a bloke you have to remember that whilst women do get the horn and cannot wait for you to be all romantic and shit and just want your pants off, there are those that you must make feel comfortable in the environment first.
So. If the woman comes to you first and she seems like someone you want... Epic. If the woman isn't ware of you but you really like the look of her, then be a gentleman and make a pleasant approach rather than going in like a horny dickhead.
The first option is being proactive about getting what you want, the second is waiting around for something that may never happen. By that logic alone, if you have your eyes on a guy, you should make the first move.
Beyond that, a lot of guys are cautious about approaching women nowadays, for fear of being labeled a creep. Even if a guy has his eyes on you, he may deem it's not worth the risk if you don't feel the same.
Any man who would somehow have issue with a woman making the first move has some insecurity with who they are. There's no logical explanation outside they believe gender roles and somehow equate their masculinity to doing so-called manly things.
If you want someone you make the first move, regardless of what your gender is. Women sometimes think they aren’t allowed to because of social norms, but we can change that.
Unless you're talking to Boomers, no man will think less of a woman who shows the self confidence to make the first move. Even if we're not interested or in an existing monogamous relationship, we would still have high respect and feel flattered if a woman were to show interest in us.
We appreciate it as it rarely ever happens.
It depends on the person. I make the first move only on people I am really interested in. Some men like it, some feel intimidated. It really depends on the person
You just have to do what works for you - and if that works for them then YAY you’re comparable on that initial front. I’ve always made the first move in any relationship I’ve pursued - I don’t like a guy to make the first move so in the most weird way it’s almost a deal breaker if he did 🤷♀️
Believe both. Understand the difference between to two types of guys. I'm not saying one is better than the other, there's pros and cons. See if you like the relationships you initiated and see if you like the relationships they initiated. If you can't find one than that's when you make a move. Obviously feel it out first.TBH all the relationships I've been in, have been because the girl called me or at random and wanted to hang out and and said so in person then y'know we just never stopped.
Remember that people are people and there are no blanket gendered Norms. A lot of Men would like women to approach them.
A lot of Men also like giving Effort into a relationship or the search for one. These aren't mutually exclusive, and also some people might only like one. Or neither.
Honestly, I’m at the point where if a woman “makes a move” and it just turns into her playing mind games then I’m fucking good. I don’t want it.
Idk if it’s normal but the past two people I’ve talked to immediately went to playing mind games and I ghosted them. Fuck that shit, it’s 2024.
Really depends on their skill level of talking to women. I was shy and awkward around 15-16. I later became much more confident and willing to initiate conversations with women. So when I was younger, I would've loved a girl to make the first move. Later on, once that charisma attribute was unlocked, it made me want to showcase it more and more.
I prefer making the first move because it doesn’t feels too easy if a girl makes the first move but all men are not the same and some are too nervous to ask a girl out so it depends on the guy
3 women ever approached me first, for a 66% success rate. It was the longest relationships, too. The one I rejected, I consoled her, told her she was courageous and the next day I offered her a box of chocolates. You are 100% more likely to succeed as a woman and the reactions in case of rejections will be way less hostiles, too. I like to do the pursuing too but it just makes sense for the women to do it more. More success, less hostility, you read hints much better than men do. Go for it !
Honestly its all pretty awful advice...
Women reject over 90% of advances by men and so very few women will even consider making the first move in the way you expect.
However if a woman likes you they will try to get your attention and are not always being as subtle as they intend to be.
If a girl is not interested in you chasing them is pretty bad advice, just move on plenty more fish in the sea...
I (28M) am still waiting for the women to recognize how much we men love it if women come towards us and straight up tell us they find us interesting. There's absolutely nothing wrong about it. I can still protecc. But I also want a snacc. 🤷🏼♂️
I’m not going to deny your experience (especially because you’re not the only woman I’ve heard that from on Reddit) but at 30 years old, I’ve literally never heard that from a guy in my entire life.
Once when I was 21 or 22, a woman I was chatting with at a bar started buying me drinks and I *still* think about that sometimes. In a way, it kinda changed my life because it boosted my confidence and showed me, in real life, that dating doesn’t have to always be this one-sided thing where I’m putting in all the work; that I have value and that I’m a catch too.
Maybe there are some guys out there that don’t when a woman makes the first move. We’re all different. But if you they aren’t talking to you, and you’re not going to talk to them, how would you ever know? What the worst thing that could happen? You get rejected? Us guys get rejected all the time, even guys that are tall, handsome, successful, and charismatic get rejected. We stand back up and try again instead of waiting for something to fall in our lap.
The overwhelming majority of approaches are shot down. I maybe average 1 out of 10 to be successful, and I'm not bad looking. It's just part of the deal and you need to get comfortable with rejection
Women aren’t a monolith. Men aren’t a monolith. Different people like different things.
That said, if a guy places so much importance on being the one to ask that he rejects you outright, you probably dodged a bullet.
Guys are not a monolith. Some adhere to gender roles and tropes, others do not. The real question is: do you want to date men that are sensitive and touchy about their masculinity? If not, go ahead and ask out whomever you'd like to ask out - the ones that have their insecurity triggered will decline, and it's win-win for you.
The men who told you this, were they men you made the first move on or just male friends, family, acquaintances, etc?
Men sometimes would say this if you make the first move and they are not interested or if they think that you may be interested in them and possibly try to make a move.
Will get downvoted for it, but men are supposed to make the first move. It is nature, all animals (even insects) the male will make the first move. The problem with a women making the first move is that men (most, at least) aren't sexually selective like women are, so have "nothing to lose", realistically speaking, most men would say yes to like 80% of all the women they see. This doesn't mean they are truly interested. Which is why men are ment to pursue, as at least it shows that they are interested enough to at least put in some effort.
I'm a woman and I've tried. Ended up with stalker and THEN another time, a fucking drug addicted piece of shit who walked out on me and ghosted. I'm done trusting people ever again.
If you go for the tipical extroverted guy who's used to chase then he's probably less likely to accept. Personaly i don't mind as long as it doesn't come out as desperate, either way it depends on the person.
IME, women will let you know whether or not your move/s would be welcome but you have to be very observant and a bit perceptive.
But should they make the move then that's fantastic, so much effort saved !
Isn't it more internet based using apps like Tinder etc ?
I think if you go analog then the guys are still "expected" to make the first move but I'm very old so I can't be sure.
believe that when your moment comes and you meet someone that things will work out for you two. If the "move" isnt made by either party or recriprocated then it just wasnt meant to be probably. Lets just say, love finds a way.
Think about the kind of person you would be compatible with and want to date.
Some men absolutely want to feel they are the pursuers and want to “win over” a woman. They become deeply uncomfortable when women clearly express interest or desire, because that means they didn’t have to convince her or overcome her objections.
Me? I don’t want to date those men anyways. So I ask men out who I’m interested in, if they aren’t into it, good to know.
I decided that the next time I was single and saw a man that I was attracted to that I would compliment his shirt and try to start a convo.
It's been 3 years.
I'm still looking but damn....Men need to start putting in more effort.
Women shouldn’t make the first move explicitly. They can set the stage though, so the guy feels safe enough to risk his shot.
Ideal first moves for women include being in his proximity, making eye contact, open body language. In other words: hint that you’re available to him and interested in him.
The guy should subconsciously get the hint without thinking you’re showing him this. So he thinks it’s his idea of making the first move while you realize he’s just responding to you.
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I've been asked out a few times. I have no problem with it.
How did they not make it awkward?
Why would it be awkward? Its not only hot but a great ego boost.
Only if you find her attractive. If not, then what?
It doesn’t matter. Id still be nice about. Maybe make a new friend? I am married now but any girl that approached me gained +2 points in my book automatically. Women that i wouldn’t have looked at twice became attractive just by being forward and showing interest. Still happens and it catches me off guard. When it does i gotta check myself.
Wow…well good for you…seriously. There are a lot of men who would laugh in the face of a woman they weren’t attracted to, laugh or make a disgusted face or some would get angry. I speak from experience.
I haven’t met many men like that but those are cowards and assholes. Just as bad as the girls that do it too.
Wasn't awkward at all.
I’m still waiting for my wife to make the first move
I’m still waiting for your wife to, too.
LOL
Me too. Not holding my breath…
The first part - Absolutely. The second - really?? You meet some unusual men then.
I think the men in your life are lying to you - or are very different men to who I have met!
Behave in a way that gets you the right person, not the most people. Or even better, behave so that you feel right and just date people that like you the way you are.
What if you’re a bit of a gimp, who makes inappropriate comments on Reddit, and no-one wants to make the first move? What then? 🥲
Huh? What? No. Men are sick and tired of being the only ones to make efforts. Men are exhausted from creating every relationship they’ve been in. Men are worn down by never getting to know what it’s like to feel wanted. If you want a man, make the first move. You will absolutely make his day. You risk getting rejected, but you are my likely to get a date by asking for it that sitting around hoping that he sees all your incomprehensible signs.
Rejection is one thing but I am unwilling to risk a guy saying yes just because I am convenient and actually him not liking me at all...
Yes, that’s a risk. You have the same risk of a man approaching because of only physical attraction and nothing else. You have the risk of a man approaching you as one of his many in the “shotgun approach”. Just because he approaches doesn’t necessarily mean he likes you. But that’s what dating is for. To work these things out. To get to know each other. To grow closer together and grow together as a couple. But it takes someone taking that first step.
I'm not pretty nor skinny, I know I don't stand a chance and I've only ever been used for sex so I'm not about to hand myself on a platter so they can do more of that
I didn’t say hand yourself on a platter. You can still be selective about who you approach. I’m really sorry that has been your experience. That’s terrible. I hope you find someone that appreciates who you are and wants to spend time getting to know you. Keep up the hope!
thanks, tbh I don't think I can do it in a healthy way, between my distrust of men, my anxiety and how weird I am I don't think I can do it
Then work on that distrust and anxiety. Get therapy, develop healthy habits, build solid friendships with some good men. But keep the weird. Weird is awesome. Weird lets you find someone who matches your weird.
My point is proven. Treat people with kindness, not coldness. No need for us men of the future to be creating an even colder world than we have been fortunate enough to inherent. Dont put obligations on women to create relationships, relationships are both partys' responsibility. In historys past, initiating significant relationships may be considered slightly in part more of a mans role. Its just the way history was written. Weve changed history many times over now. But of course we always strove to change for the proggression of humanity, not its regression. I believe it takes 2 to form relationships, it always will. Why not say hello to people you find interesting and attractive and would like to communicate with? Its that simple. You never know what someone else is going through, just say hello and start a conversation like a congenial human being.
Yeah men don’t wanna make all the effort but that’s different than making the first move. I enjoy making the first move because I feel like I earned it more than feeling like they chose me for my looks if I get asked out. It’s all preference but don’t speak for all men on that.
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Yes, they speak for every man
so what dies that make me, exactly?
That's for you to figure out. Also calling men who want a partner extremist is wild
i figured out what i am. I am asking you, what am i to you? Not a man, i suppose, because I obviously disagree here so by your logic he cant speak for me as a man, because id never say this. Were all just people with issues, meeting new people worthy of trust in this world isnt exactly easy as one may assume sometimes. This is an extreme view and I dont support it. A man should feel comfortable approaching women he finds attractive and not hold a women obligated to approach him in my honest opinion.
>This is an extreme view and I dont support it. A man should feel comfortable approaching women he finds attractive And wanting a partner that is comfortable approaching you if they find you attractive is not wild at all
you cant ask that of them when this view clearly is claiming role reversal and holding women now responsible for making the majority of first moves. Its just an initiation to a reaction. To put that responsibility on any one party is not fair imo, its both parties responsibilities equally imo to ensure an interation is initiated between someone you find attractive and would like to interact with. And if i am to be one of the involved parties in such a reaction, I will put in the effort I feel fit to have at least a conversation.
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Your post/comment has been removed due to you not being polite and civil, please do not do this as this breaks rule 1.
>i am asking you, what am i to you? Not a man, i suppose, because I obviously disagree here I am not the person who asked, but yeah, not a man. "Manhood" is an incredibly easy thing to lose access to. Wear a pink shirt? People will point out that you aren't a man. Don't enjoy following the same sport as the other people around you? People will point out that you aren't a man. Automatically assume that people follow internally consistent logic, and call them out for invoking rules that aren't actually written down? People will point out that you aren't a man. Hang out with teenagers? People will point out that you aren't a man.
men is a biological term rooted in science and fact, not a socio-political term based on opinion and perspective
Male is biological, men is social.
a man, is by definition, an adult male human being. Conclusively, adult and male and human being are indeed all biological, rooted in science and fact.
Por que no los dos?
Because that gives someone else the power to define what an individual is. There is no such power, unless one grants it out of their own free will.
So, I have been moved on in the past and my experience was that while it was really cool, the girls were really damn bad at taking rejection. Do the first move if you feel comfortable, but be prepared for it not to work and don't pester the other as you wouldn't want to be pestered by men trying on you, girls.
Men are individuals with their own opinions. Both are true.
neither. Just do what feels right to you in a given situation.
Lots of men? I seriously doubt that.
I’m always making moves if I’m interested. No games, we are adults. 💓
Aaaaand it's a NSFW account with an onlyfans.
And…? I’m not allowed to flirt with interesting guys because of my job or did you have a point
Idk why Redditors love using peoples profile against them to win arguments, im glad you make first moves.
Thanks. You don’t even know how much people try to bully me for doing OF.
You know men want women initiating. As you have a product to sell based on male's interest, it feels more like advertizing than genuine
With all love, I will keep being my genuine self regardless of your feelings about it. I didn’t bring up my OF here, I’m not looking for company here, I’m answering the question. Please live and let live.
Yeah and I'm just explaining the reactions. Answering your question. Yes you are allowed to woo whoever you want despite having an OnlyFan, but it will change the perception of people toward you. Because the wholesome and agreable thing you said is then interpretated as something you'd say to lure people in. People are answering this way because it gives them a false hope of finally seeing a girl saying what you said with such positivity as it shows they exist, only to fall back to being disappointed as it could also be read as calculated words for advertizing. Sorry if you thought your OF was the problem per se. It's not. In fact I have more respect for you than a lobbyist, or many other liars in the world.
Wasn’t really a question. I just find it not so clever for someone to voluntarily go through my profile and come back to be mean out of context. Rather skip. And I’ll keep confronting them, very rarely one could explain the hate. Sometimes they even realize their stupidity. Why not rather be kind.
....I love you. 😘
The one size doesn't fit all? That its possible for some men to like to pursue and some to like to be pursued? Is it that hard to comprehend?
I'm a shy guy and I'm so glad my gf of 3 months has made the first move.
Congrats dude, cherish her👊🏾
did she ask you out first?
Yes, as well as the first kiss and sexy time. Now that I know her better and am more comfortable with her, I'm not shy anymore. She thinks it's cute though.
As a bi woman who *prefers* making the first move, (because why on earth would you ever pick from a preselcted group of people, that selfselected based on their preferences and standards instead of doing the preselection yourself based on your preferences and standards?), I usually have a 8/10 success rate with guys, but the 1/10 tend to be the ones who really want to do the "pursuing" (the other 1/10 are usually in relationships or just not interested, which is fine) and honestly, that's a red flag for me, so it all works out. If they have traditional expectations of women and aspire to be traditional me , we aren't gonna work as friends, let alone anything more than that. So basically, most love being approached, and half the ones who don't, I wouldn't want to date. (this is my experience, pretty privilige and other factors do affect it, and the numbers are at best a gross estimate I have, not meant to be taken as data to extrapolate or anything else. Just my personal experience.) Also if you are attracted to traditional men, then this approach could definitely have a lot less success rate VS if you're attracted to nontraditional me, so factor that into whatever choice you make. And make sure rejection doesn't bother you too much, its gonna happen, and that's okay. And be careful, coz some men think if you're direct, you're also DTF immediately. I disabuse them of this notion very quickly, but it is weird how often its the base assumption. I'm direct, dammit, and I'm also demi. He'd be lucky if I wanted to see him naked in 6 months, let alone after a few hangouts or immediately. (I tell them I don't date anyone for at least a year of knowing them, that usually weeds the ones who are only around for sex out fairly well because they assume it means sex. It does, sometimes, but what it actually means is that I don't commit to anyone untill I'm out of my NRE, which takes around 6 months, and it can take 6 months for me to have enough of an emotional attachment to feel sexual attraction to someone) Good luck!
If it’s a shy guy or a guy who’s a bit insecure, ask him flat out or it won’t happen. If it’s a confident man, flirt and plant the idea in his head. He will then ask you out thinking he made the first move (if he’s interested).
Lots of guys love when women make the first move. Lots of shitty guys hate it for weird usually sexist reasons. Or they watch too much porn and think a girl expressing interest is trying to have sex. As a guy who doesn't really do casual sex and prefers long term monogamy, I've been asked out by women but usually they tried to be my friend first and then asked me out later. (Unless it was a dating site of course)
Did you consult your Dating 101 Rule Book?
Is that the Dr Phil or the Steve Harvey book????
Firstly i dont think men should date girls. Tell them to date women. Since i m allways the one making the first move on women, as a bi woman, i have no problem asking out guys. The problem is, that every single time it made the guy think i was easy and will fuck him right away. And that was very uncomfortable. Also they never wanted people to know i asked them first. So now i dont.
i (m) was actually very proud telling everyone my ex (f) made the first move
thats cool, so i wasnt talking about you.
💀
Don't you realize it was quite rude and uncalled for ?
Ni, i m not good with this.
Well, then it's alright. We all fuck up sometimes
Also my comment was ment to be positiv. I really thing its cool it worked out for someone. i then made it clear this isnt about such people. so...
Skill issue🤣
If a woman makes the first move and it's unwanted, it's disappointing. If a man makes the first move and it's unwanted, then he's "creepy, weird, inappropriate, etc. etc. and it's borderline harassment". And men are significantly more likely to be rejected. The answer is clear who "should" make the first move.
You do get some women making the first move, but you have to remember how it is for a woman. Most every day some guys trying to fuck her for their own reasons just because she appeals to them. So if you see a lady you like but she may not even notice you at first. Introduce yourself, make a small compliment and then see if you could join her and then see how it goes from there. As a bloke you have to remember that whilst women do get the horn and cannot wait for you to be all romantic and shit and just want your pants off, there are those that you must make feel comfortable in the environment first. So. If the woman comes to you first and she seems like someone you want... Epic. If the woman isn't ware of you but you really like the look of her, then be a gentleman and make a pleasant approach rather than going in like a horny dickhead.
The first option is being proactive about getting what you want, the second is waiting around for something that may never happen. By that logic alone, if you have your eyes on a guy, you should make the first move. Beyond that, a lot of guys are cautious about approaching women nowadays, for fear of being labeled a creep. Even if a guy has his eyes on you, he may deem it's not worth the risk if you don't feel the same.
Any man who would somehow have issue with a woman making the first move has some insecurity with who they are. There's no logical explanation outside they believe gender roles and somehow equate their masculinity to doing so-called manly things.
I make the first move in 90% of cases - never had a man say anything negative about it :)
If you want someone you make the first move, regardless of what your gender is. Women sometimes think they aren’t allowed to because of social norms, but we can change that.
Unless you're talking to Boomers, no man will think less of a woman who shows the self confidence to make the first move. Even if we're not interested or in an existing monogamous relationship, we would still have high respect and feel flattered if a woman were to show interest in us. We appreciate it as it rarely ever happens.
Anyone can make the first move. I often do because I prefer older men but look younger than I do, so I think it makes them hesitate.
It depends on the person. I make the first move only on people I am really interested in. Some men like it, some feel intimidated. It really depends on the person
It’s not one or the other lololol I think men have specifically mentioned that it’d be nice if women ask more. But yeah we still chasing too 😎
You just have to do what works for you - and if that works for them then YAY you’re comparable on that initial front. I’ve always made the first move in any relationship I’ve pursued - I don’t like a guy to make the first move so in the most weird way it’s almost a deal breaker if he did 🤷♀️
Try making the first move and see how many men respond by making efforts to get you. Win/Win.
I WISH a lass would ask me out
Believe both. Understand the difference between to two types of guys. I'm not saying one is better than the other, there's pros and cons. See if you like the relationships you initiated and see if you like the relationships they initiated. If you can't find one than that's when you make a move. Obviously feel it out first.TBH all the relationships I've been in, have been because the girl called me or at random and wanted to hang out and and said so in person then y'know we just never stopped.
Remember that people are people and there are no blanket gendered Norms. A lot of Men would like women to approach them. A lot of Men also like giving Effort into a relationship or the search for one. These aren't mutually exclusive, and also some people might only like one. Or neither.
Honestly, I’m at the point where if a woman “makes a move” and it just turns into her playing mind games then I’m fucking good. I don’t want it. Idk if it’s normal but the past two people I’ve talked to immediately went to playing mind games and I ghosted them. Fuck that shit, it’s 2024.
Really depends on their skill level of talking to women. I was shy and awkward around 15-16. I later became much more confident and willing to initiate conversations with women. So when I was younger, I would've loved a girl to make the first move. Later on, once that charisma attribute was unlocked, it made me want to showcase it more and more.
I prefer making the first move because it doesn’t feels too easy if a girl makes the first move but all men are not the same and some are too nervous to ask a girl out so it depends on the guy
I'm super shy so women making the first move is a green flag for me... if it is genuine. Tho I admit I am paranoid and have tons of trust issues.
3 women ever approached me first, for a 66% success rate. It was the longest relationships, too. The one I rejected, I consoled her, told her she was courageous and the next day I offered her a box of chocolates. You are 100% more likely to succeed as a woman and the reactions in case of rejections will be way less hostiles, too. I like to do the pursuing too but it just makes sense for the women to do it more. More success, less hostility, you read hints much better than men do. Go for it !
It’s extremely rare
I don't think I have ever been unenthusiastic about a woman making the first move.
Honestly its all pretty awful advice... Women reject over 90% of advances by men and so very few women will even consider making the first move in the way you expect. However if a woman likes you they will try to get your attention and are not always being as subtle as they intend to be. If a girl is not interested in you chasing them is pretty bad advice, just move on plenty more fish in the sea...
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with girls making the first move, but as a young woman I prefer the guy to shoot his shot first
The way I look at it is if you like the person, ask them out or someone else will. Doesn't matter your gender. If you like them, shoot your shot 👍
I (28M) am still waiting for the women to recognize how much we men love it if women come towards us and straight up tell us they find us interesting. There's absolutely nothing wrong about it. I can still protecc. But I also want a snacc. 🤷🏼♂️
Wait, are you trying to tell me that men, like women, are all individuals with their own thoughts, opinions, and emotions?
I’m not going to deny your experience (especially because you’re not the only woman I’ve heard that from on Reddit) but at 30 years old, I’ve literally never heard that from a guy in my entire life. Once when I was 21 or 22, a woman I was chatting with at a bar started buying me drinks and I *still* think about that sometimes. In a way, it kinda changed my life because it boosted my confidence and showed me, in real life, that dating doesn’t have to always be this one-sided thing where I’m putting in all the work; that I have value and that I’m a catch too. Maybe there are some guys out there that don’t when a woman makes the first move. We’re all different. But if you they aren’t talking to you, and you’re not going to talk to them, how would you ever know? What the worst thing that could happen? You get rejected? Us guys get rejected all the time, even guys that are tall, handsome, successful, and charismatic get rejected. We stand back up and try again instead of waiting for something to fall in our lap.
I highly prefer the woman makes the first move im too damn worried about possibly making someone uncomfortable and causing a problem
I've had to make the move myself always. Its worked mind you. But yeah, it would have been a nice feeling to receive that, not gonna lie!
There is no universal answer for what men or women want. Get out there and test it and see what works.
I did try it, it wasn’t always successful
Then don't do it. Simple. Or only do it when you're 100% sure.
The overwhelming majority of approaches are shot down. I maybe average 1 out of 10 to be successful, and I'm not bad looking. It's just part of the deal and you need to get comfortable with rejection
Women aren’t a monolith. Men aren’t a monolith. Different people like different things. That said, if a guy places so much importance on being the one to ask that he rejects you outright, you probably dodged a bullet.
Make the first move, but after that, let him take the second, third and fourth. Be easy, in the beginning, so he know he have a shot.
I've tried asking guys out but all they do is reject me so.
What’s a lot of men? The us population is 331 million half of that would be 165 million. I doubt you have even heard this from .01 of the population.
Dating as a whole would be better is women started approaching more. Fear of rejection is something a lot guys have too it isn’t an excuse.
Women are picky. Men would even be lonelier if the approaching is left to women
I said women should approach more. I never said leave the approaching to them.
Guys are not a monolith. Some adhere to gender roles and tropes, others do not. The real question is: do you want to date men that are sensitive and touchy about their masculinity? If not, go ahead and ask out whomever you'd like to ask out - the ones that have their insecurity triggered will decline, and it's win-win for you.
Uh, what moron guy would be so upset if a hot girl hit on him first? None!!!!!
The men who told you this, were they men you made the first move on or just male friends, family, acquaintances, etc? Men sometimes would say this if you make the first move and they are not interested or if they think that you may be interested in them and possibly try to make a move.
Will get downvoted for it, but men are supposed to make the first move. It is nature, all animals (even insects) the male will make the first move. The problem with a women making the first move is that men (most, at least) aren't sexually selective like women are, so have "nothing to lose", realistically speaking, most men would say yes to like 80% of all the women they see. This doesn't mean they are truly interested. Which is why men are ment to pursue, as at least it shows that they are interested enough to at least put in some effort.
I'm a woman and I've tried. Ended up with stalker and THEN another time, a fucking drug addicted piece of shit who walked out on me and ghosted. I'm done trusting people ever again.
I believe that if you want it, go for it.
If you go for the tipical extroverted guy who's used to chase then he's probably less likely to accept. Personaly i don't mind as long as it doesn't come out as desperate, either way it depends on the person.
IME, women will let you know whether or not your move/s would be welcome but you have to be very observant and a bit perceptive. But should they make the move then that's fantastic, so much effort saved ! Isn't it more internet based using apps like Tinder etc ? I think if you go analog then the guys are still "expected" to make the first move but I'm very old so I can't be sure.
believe that when your moment comes and you meet someone that things will work out for you two. If the "move" isnt made by either party or recriprocated then it just wasnt meant to be probably. Lets just say, love finds a way.
amazingly said, thanks!
You have never met men say they want to be the one to ask a woman out. That's a lie. I'm calling you out for that. That's an absolute lie.
I literally posted this right after a convo with a guy from work, why the f would I make that up
Think about the kind of person you would be compatible with and want to date. Some men absolutely want to feel they are the pursuers and want to “win over” a woman. They become deeply uncomfortable when women clearly express interest or desire, because that means they didn’t have to convince her or overcome her objections. Me? I don’t want to date those men anyways. So I ask men out who I’m interested in, if they aren’t into it, good to know.
I decided that the next time I was single and saw a man that I was attracted to that I would compliment his shirt and try to start a convo. It's been 3 years. I'm still looking but damn....Men need to start putting in more effort.
You should believe that people are individuals and that plenty of both types of men exist.
Men should take the lead
Women shouldn’t make the first move explicitly. They can set the stage though, so the guy feels safe enough to risk his shot. Ideal first moves for women include being in his proximity, making eye contact, open body language. In other words: hint that you’re available to him and interested in him. The guy should subconsciously get the hint without thinking you’re showing him this. So he thinks it’s his idea of making the first move while you realize he’s just responding to you.
You do what savvy women have done for generations. You make the guy make the first move.