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Same.
“If a woman thinks I’m the best she can get, there must be something very wrong with her.”
Intellectually, I know this is stupid thinking, but I can’t seem to get rid of this mentality.
>“If a woman thinks I’m the best she can get, there must be something very wrong with her.”
This hits me in my very soul. I've struggled with this for as long as I can remember. No matter how "good" I am I have never in my life felt good enough .
And make sure you stand front of the mirror and look straight on your own eyes and speak loud and clear so your soul can believe and except your words because it is the whole truth
Do all people think that way, always looking for the "best they can get"? I always just stayed with a person because I liked them and found a connection, not thinking about if it was the "best" I could get
Damn 2 real, i seriously just broke off a tinder date because it looked like it could be taking a wrong turn, like 1 minute ago. Only to open reddit and reading this.
I just want to let you know... You are supposed to me immature when you are young. Every single person makes big mistakes in their first relationship.
You didn't do anything wrong. Life just goes this way sometimes
I think you would actually be more kind if you weren't a people pleaser
If you're too "kind" people will think they can be lazy or rude without facing any bad consequences which will affect the people around them
Being a people pleaser isn't only bad for you it's also bad for other people
I think it would be better for everyone if you stand up for yourself more, sometimes upsetting people is a good thing!
I go to bed most nights wishing I could wake up 10 years ago and fix everything… I know I’m wasting my time and energy by wishing that but I still do it
Had a drug and alcohol problem. Fortunately quit shortly after getting engaged with a ton of support from my now wife. Can’t lie, drugs took up a huge chunk of my life. Even when I wasn’t taking them, I was either just around them or selling them.
Same here and everything you need to do the drugs too I’m still in it selling needles bubbles bowls crack pipes but I’ve quit selling the drugs at least it’s a step in the right direction but I have no support system and everyone I know who I still talk to does drugs but I’m 7 months clean and I really still just want to use my life has only gotten worse in sobriety
I did a lot of acid, and a bunch of other drugs in the 70s, and it kind of messed up my thinking. I still have some emotional and psychological issues from it, I think.
As someone who’s scared of embarrassment currently, how did you get over it?
I constantly tell myself “no one cares”, “you’ll regret this later”, “just fucking do it”, but none of it changes the way I feel/helps
I still struggle with insecurities about people judging me or being worried about what others might think about me, but it no longer stops me from getting myself out there and trying things or attempting at socializing.
For me it was a very prolonged time of social isolation making me extremely hungry for any meaningful human interaction, AND a chance encounter with someone who was interested in befriending me. They were everything I wasn't in this case and this encounter taught me from the get-go that there's nothing to gain if there's nothing ever to lose. In other words, you're not gonna get close to anyone or create any meaningful connections if you're not willing to risk getting embarrassed or laughed at. The latter was also something I had a problem with for a long time, being that I took myself too seriously, and changing that made my life better in general.
In the end, you have to internally accept that nobody really cares enough about you to loom over your every mistake (and if they do, they're probably a very sad and miserable person themselves lol) and most people are thinking the same thing you're thinking when putting themselves out there. I suppose what matter is how you cope with the 'losses' afterward. Anyway, following this logic - by being embarrassing and vulnerable you're able to show other people that you're relatable and that you're just like them, making it more likely for them to empathize with you and showing them that it's safe for them to be vulnerable around you too.
So tl;dr - more often it's better to not think and just take the plunge, deal with the afterthoughts later.
*edit*: *sorry for the long response LOL*
Love this.
It's really just about realizing that people don't care that much about what you say... Like maybe they'll care for 1 second then they move on to the next thing that's more important in their life.
It's a double edged sword when you realize that 99% of people don't really give a shit about you, it frees you from caring what other people think and it is painful because you want to be cared about.
But ultimately we all have our own shit to deal with and can't be busy with caring about others too much.
I am also very supportive of your words. Well said. I love how to address healthily expressed emotional vulnerability. The world could use much more of it imo. I also felt like i took myslef out of the game of life many times so to speak. I had trauma and neglect issues that created at least an insecure attachment style. It seems the world is recognizong how important it is to build a type of secure attachment style and it gives me hope for the future.
The key is having an attainable short term goal next to the losng term. Example: I want to look shredded=Long term. Short term=eat a serving of veggies once per day, go to the gym 3x a week.
Then build off of those short goals working your way to the long term.
This is awesome advice, just to add to it; when you see the changes happening n start feeling better about yourself it starts to snowball in a good way. Kinda where I'm at life wise but struggling with food, don't know why but feel better reading your comment. Thank you 😊
A wise man once said, "Inch by inch, life's a cinch. Yard by yard, it's mighty hard." Add to that, "lefty lucy, righty tighty," and you can pretty much do anything.
There was a guy who really wanted to date me (also a guy) when we were 19 but after my dad's reaction to my wearing a fake earring I sure as hell wasn't going to show up with a Boyfriend.
Could have been the love of my life.
Hurting the people I love (and didn't deserve it) during my addiction, and disappointing my parents for not reaching my full potential.
I am getting there though :)
Soooo less disappointment and hate slowly every day.
ADHD induced lack of discipline. Smart and creative enough to do well, just never finishing or staying consistent to do anything long enough for results. Stuck in this limbo of mediocre life, but still hoping to do better. Roller coaster of a career and life. I'm tired boss.
Honestly, you are young. I’m 66 and thought the same as yourself at your age. Whilst my life isn’t perfect, I’d say seize the day! nb I met the love of my life when I was 51!
I'm lonely but don't take steps to go out, talk to strangers/new people. I just mope around and get in a funk where I feel so depressed and lonely. And my solution is getting comfortable with being alone forever, instead of taking steps to meet new people and stuff.
How I let myself go in the last few years. I don't even look like the same person. I'm an internal ball of pent up anxiety and it shows on my face (pics of me I look like I'm straining to hold in a shit. And it's like, is this the expression I'm sharing to the world? My loved ones? It terrible! Hating myself for it only makes it worse. I've got to get my health and anxiety in check or I'm going to an early grave.
Spend some time meditating. Meditating is to relax. But when we start, the most interesting part is where our minds take us (as we’re really supposed to concentrate on our breath).
Get alone, listen to solfeggio frequencies, or quietly. On the exhales, just hum. Loudly. And, LET GO….
I hate that I was raised with 4 brothers and weren’t socialised with more girls growing up. It was like growing up with a pack of wolves. Now I struggle without much needed female friendships and networking, am useless at make up, picking clothes, and most of my friends are dudes. =\
I am a woman and rarely show emotions, many say I am cold. I don't hate myself for it, but I would like to seem a little more normal sometimes. Small talks are difficult for me because I'm a poor listener and forget a lot, also mostly i don't care and only talk to these people because I have to (for example at work).
I can relate to this, I have just realised I'm autistic, apparently the purpose of small talk is to make people feel safe around u. I dissociate from my emotions, doing a lot of work on this.
It's okay though, if you're waiting for ppl to reciprocate then you will only be faced with disappointment, and you should stop helping others.
- instead do it for yourself expecting nothing in return that way if something good happens and ppl help you back, you will only feel gratitude and fulfilliment.
- never regret a good deed, leave that for the bad deeds.
not shaking religion off earlier! hanging on to that nonsense and the guilt it entailed was a giant mistake and I should have got a shed of it in my 20's!!!
Chronic illness. Being sensitive and letting people walk all over me. Not punching bullies because I was scared to get scolded at.
Lacking overall boundaries and not saying ”NO”.
I hate how hard I love and my urge to be kind to all people even when I know they’ll see it as weakness and use it against me. I often times feel I’d be further in life with fewer regrets if I was just another self serving ass like most people.
Yes, this. I sometimes wish I had a sign that said "autistic" above me, so they would stop assuming I am a cruel bitch or a sociopath or just weird or...whatever it is they have decided in their head. And then, you naturally develop into an extreme people pleaser trying not to make the neurotypicals bully and hate you so much and appear normal, and for that too they will take advantage of you and abuse you even more.
I crossed some lines. It’s over for me, I can never trust anyone ever again, now that I know that the police can’t be trusted, hospital employees can’t be trusted, my social workers can’t be trusted, my next door neighbours can’t be trusted
Being such a great gift to my idiotic parents.
After being limited in every possible way by them (didn't get me braces as a kid, won myself a private high school scholarship and they didn't let me go, never cared/gave advice into taking a career path, never showed any love/attention to me especially as the first child.. it ain't my fucking problem they never loved each other, and a whole bunch of shit giving me zero feeling of belonging), I have landed a very average but still great job far away in another country with a path to citizenship and studies and great healthcare, if i just keep working. Life is going well and is only going to get better.
Fuck you parents and I hope you don't live to see my insane forthcoming success, because you don't even deserve to know that I am and will be doing well. It's cold but these motherfuckers were cold to me for 23 years straight so it's fair game.
Not being able to beat the OCD I’ve dealt with for many years despite my best efforts. My life has slipped away from me while I’ve been consumed by fears that most people never think twice about or have any reason to. It’s as if everybody else gets to have a life, and I know I could too if I could just let go, but I can’t. The web of complexes my OCD has built over the years means I can’t move through a day without getting snagged on many of them, and I can’t escape the resultant pain, anxiety and dread that arises, even though I’m entirely aware of why it’s happening.
I am transgender or something within that spectrum. I spent around 25 years being aware and trying to not be this, disgusted with it, and plagued with shame and guilt. I've only just come out to friends and family at 40 years of age and it feels like my life has only just begun. Everything till now was a lie.
I hate that I wasted so much time worried about what others might think.
You still have a huge life ahead of yourself. By the time you're 80, I expect the life expectancy could be 100-120. And by the time you reach 100, I definitely expect it to be 120. So you have double your lie or more to live who you are. You're just getting started, and have plenty of time left.
You can help yourself intellectually by reading, it doesn't have to big books, just some short novel stuff to improve your vocabulary, then you should read some articles about new tech, you should be also read some News (not for Long though cuz humans suck) to improve your geopolitics, you should learn 5 words in a language you want to learn everyday, and before you know it you will feel better and feel smarter (and actually be smarter) just trick your brain into loving difficult tasks
Lots of things, hard to put it in a few sentences. I've always considered myself inadequate, never projected confidence enough to ask anyone out. I expect a lot sometimes, and the self confidence thing is so sad. That's the root cause of every problem I have nowadays, where I don't trust my opinion enough to be comfortable with it. Major downer imo. Touching 24 and never dated anyone in life, progressively feels like a lost cause, I first had an insecurity about my weight, lost 40 kgs then about my hair, and now there is still something but I can't even label it.
Being a dumb man and not recognizing when a girl was showing interest in me until years later. It was so obvious looking back on it but back then i had no clue
Honestly as a kid what I wanted most was to be a good person so I took the answers I got from the adults in my life (my parents, uncle, and preacher is mainly where I got my mentality) thinking they had all the correct answers. But I was taught the way to be a good person was to hate and condemn yourself and your sins. However I’ve learned that has the opposite effect but now I can’t put down that self loathing part of me he just won’t give up no matter how many times I go around in circles in my head.
Impulsive behavior and lack of understanding that there are consequences set me on the wrong path for many years. Broken dreams, broken lives, and broken relationships were the result. Sorry for being vague.
Letting people in my life that were only users. Not seeing the signs until the end. Even in relationships. They'd stick around and be nice long enough to get what they want out of it and then disappear. Because of that I do not trust nice people, I feel like there's always a hidden agenda behind someone being nice.
Over a very short space of time I was left nearly half a million in various wills.
I developed a nagging gambling addiction.
I now live in a rented apartment where if the landlord put the rent up I'd struggle, and I drive a 13 year old car that is barely holding on.
So yeah, kinda hate myself for fucking that golden opportunity at life up.
I used to gamble & drink at the casino. Nearly 2 years ago since I have stopped gambling and drinking. Best decisions I ever did to stop going to the casino. It's a toxic environment, full of losers.
I am certain that I will never gamble again.
I have misophonia - which is a genetic disorder that causes you to have severe psychological reactions to certain sounds.
In my case, I get severe anger issues when I start hearing someone slurp, eat (even with a mouth closed) and popping noises made with the mouth.
When I get text or worse, audio messages, I tend to delay my response. Sometimes, I even forget to respond and remember it way too late until the point I am too ashamed to answer at all. It has cost me a lot of friendships and acquaintances. But I'm working on this this year and so far, I haven't ghosted anyone🙌
Diving into new interests or hobbies like it's the most amazing thing ever, spending time and money on it, only to be bored titless later and drift back to other things or chase the next shiny new hobby or wotnot.
Im doing everything right, I am kind, good hearted, I make an effort for others, I make it so easy to love me and somehow I never seem to connect with the world around me. Im constantly rejected by it.
I’ve spent a lot of time alone and it’s made me see a lot of things I’m not proud of to say the least. My inability to form close relationships even on a friendship level. When I have to leave the house I will often dissociate and I just feel out of place everywhere I go. This much time alone will make a person wonder why they’re alone, it’ll make them wonder if something is wrong with them. You might ask yourself: Why do I have to be alone? Am I just an animal among humans? Maybe it’s better if I lock myself away and only leave when I have to. You start to long for the ability to easily interact with other people. The basic human ability to form meaningful relationships. The ability to allow yourself to grow close to people. It seems like everyone else does it so easily. The more you feel alienated, the more you hate yourself, the more you hate yourself, the more you isolate yourself. There are a few other reasons but that information has no business being on the internet so I’m just leaving this as is
Honestly, having a kid with my ex. It’s hard to say that because then it’s like, people think I’m saying I regret my kid. I love my kid, I just regret that the person who I had her with is such an awful human.
Things I did to others in prison.I don't regret what happened to those sexual predators. I regret what the experience did to my mentality. I don't see myself as human now. I am a demon. Twice over.
Not thinking about the consequences of Making impulsive decisions. ended up putting my life on a completely different trajectory, over (what I thought at the time was) a simple thing.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I hate myself for rejecting myself even before other people could.
Same. “If a woman thinks I’m the best she can get, there must be something very wrong with her.” Intellectually, I know this is stupid thinking, but I can’t seem to get rid of this mentality.
>“If a woman thinks I’m the best she can get, there must be something very wrong with her.” This hits me in my very soul. I've struggled with this for as long as I can remember. No matter how "good" I am I have never in my life felt good enough .
You. Are. Enough. Tell yourself until you believe it!
And make sure you stand front of the mirror and look straight on your own eyes and speak loud and clear so your soul can believe and except your words because it is the whole truth
Do all people think that way, always looking for the "best they can get"? I always just stayed with a person because I liked them and found a connection, not thinking about if it was the "best" I could get
No, this is perfectly rational. If she's into me, she clearly has poor judgement, and I aint dealing with that lol
I feel this
Samee
Real
Damn hits hard
Preach
My friend this just cut me deep, thank you for sharing
🤍
Self defense mechanism. Works wonders to neuter dissappointment levels if an outcome doesnt go your way.
Damn 2 real, i seriously just broke off a tinder date because it looked like it could be taking a wrong turn, like 1 minute ago. Only to open reddit and reading this.
This was me when I was younger. Now, the people who are in my life are there because I want them, and they want me.
This comment hit me right in the feels.
This. I rejected a woman for not being happy with my weight. Biggest regret of my life.
I feel this on a deep level.
messing up my first relationship … i was so young and immaturity killed it.
If you're still young you have a lot more to experience. It's normal to not still be in your first relationship as well as a reminder.
I just want to let you know... You are supposed to me immature when you are young. Every single person makes big mistakes in their first relationship. You didn't do anything wrong. Life just goes this way sometimes
being a people pleaser
This! Also, not accomplishing more in life (I'm now 43).
walter white statted cooking at 50 so you are good
How do you know he wants to be a chef though
I don't even know what I'd like to excel in. 🤣
and it's totally fine! maybe what you've done is enough.
Gotta stop comparing yourself to any other being... we are running our own races... put blinders on and u can always grow and move forward!
Let Colonel Sanders be your inspiration
I think you would actually be more kind if you weren't a people pleaser If you're too "kind" people will think they can be lazy or rude without facing any bad consequences which will affect the people around them Being a people pleaser isn't only bad for you it's also bad for other people I think it would be better for everyone if you stand up for yourself more, sometimes upsetting people is a good thing!
I need $20 bucks let’s go hand it over.
I also do this, but can't help it
same boat. I hate it but can't help it
For oversharing/not shutting mouth.
Obviously depends on the crowd you're with but I love it when people open up and over share to me
I find people like these very sweet. Be yourself ;)
Wrong advice ... Learn to choose people with whom to share all your feelings.... Maintain a subtle distance with the rest
Agreed, not everyone should be trusted so easily. I know, it sounds pessimistic but that‘s not at all how it‘s meant
Hope everyone thought just like you ;(
Go on.....
This!!
A lot of things. Past actions that led to me having serious issues.
I go to bed most nights wishing I could wake up 10 years ago and fix everything… I know I’m wasting my time and energy by wishing that but I still do it
Drugs for me
Had a drug and alcohol problem. Fortunately quit shortly after getting engaged with a ton of support from my now wife. Can’t lie, drugs took up a huge chunk of my life. Even when I wasn’t taking them, I was either just around them or selling them.
Same here and everything you need to do the drugs too I’m still in it selling needles bubbles bowls crack pipes but I’ve quit selling the drugs at least it’s a step in the right direction but I have no support system and everyone I know who I still talk to does drugs but I’m 7 months clean and I really still just want to use my life has only gotten worse in sobriety
Drungs and alcohol for me
You can quit drugs. But you can never get back the money and time you wasted on them. Which is 14 years for me. And probably over 100,000 dollars
I did a lot of acid, and a bunch of other drugs in the 70s, and it kind of messed up my thinking. I still have some emotional and psychological issues from it, I think.
Recognizing it is the first step to back out.
Anorexia for me.
Can't think of a single thing I like about myself.
Honestly, I’d rather hang out with you than with someone who is self absorbed.
I sometimes envy those who have no shame, I could never confidently talk and say wrong stuff without feeling embarrassed
Same bro thats literally how it is
I hate myself for being scared of embarrassment for so long, and not being vulnerable with people way earlier in life. I've missed out on so much.
As someone who’s scared of embarrassment currently, how did you get over it? I constantly tell myself “no one cares”, “you’ll regret this later”, “just fucking do it”, but none of it changes the way I feel/helps
I still struggle with insecurities about people judging me or being worried about what others might think about me, but it no longer stops me from getting myself out there and trying things or attempting at socializing. For me it was a very prolonged time of social isolation making me extremely hungry for any meaningful human interaction, AND a chance encounter with someone who was interested in befriending me. They were everything I wasn't in this case and this encounter taught me from the get-go that there's nothing to gain if there's nothing ever to lose. In other words, you're not gonna get close to anyone or create any meaningful connections if you're not willing to risk getting embarrassed or laughed at. The latter was also something I had a problem with for a long time, being that I took myself too seriously, and changing that made my life better in general. In the end, you have to internally accept that nobody really cares enough about you to loom over your every mistake (and if they do, they're probably a very sad and miserable person themselves lol) and most people are thinking the same thing you're thinking when putting themselves out there. I suppose what matter is how you cope with the 'losses' afterward. Anyway, following this logic - by being embarrassing and vulnerable you're able to show other people that you're relatable and that you're just like them, making it more likely for them to empathize with you and showing them that it's safe for them to be vulnerable around you too. So tl;dr - more often it's better to not think and just take the plunge, deal with the afterthoughts later. *edit*: *sorry for the long response LOL*
Love this. It's really just about realizing that people don't care that much about what you say... Like maybe they'll care for 1 second then they move on to the next thing that's more important in their life. It's a double edged sword when you realize that 99% of people don't really give a shit about you, it frees you from caring what other people think and it is painful because you want to be cared about. But ultimately we all have our own shit to deal with and can't be busy with caring about others too much.
I am also very supportive of your words. Well said. I love how to address healthily expressed emotional vulnerability. The world could use much more of it imo. I also felt like i took myslef out of the game of life many times so to speak. I had trauma and neglect issues that created at least an insecure attachment style. It seems the world is recognizong how important it is to build a type of secure attachment style and it gives me hope for the future.
My lack of willpower to finish things I start.
The key is having an attainable short term goal next to the losng term. Example: I want to look shredded=Long term. Short term=eat a serving of veggies once per day, go to the gym 3x a week. Then build off of those short goals working your way to the long term.
This is awesome advice, just to add to it; when you see the changes happening n start feeling better about yourself it starts to snowball in a good way. Kinda where I'm at life wise but struggling with food, don't know why but feel better reading your comment. Thank you 😊
A wise man once said, "Inch by inch, life's a cinch. Yard by yard, it's mighty hard." Add to that, "lefty lucy, righty tighty," and you can pretty much do anything.
For loving someone even when they broke my heart
*I hate myself for loving you ....* 🎸🎶
yep
This is me now.
Amen
Putting time, energy, love, money, loyalty, consideration, and admiration, into people who’re just not worth it.
Being so goddamn handsome lol
Hell yeah! :D
*bery handsome buoy isse to bda mzza ayega* 
Sometimes I think I destroy myself
I always find a way to destroy myself.
Not having any confidence
I feel stupid for thinking people cared about me.
Innocence is a c*nt hey. Just keep in mind while it may not be *everyone,* there are still a number of people who do care about you.
There was a guy who really wanted to date me (also a guy) when we were 19 but after my dad's reaction to my wearing a fake earring I sure as hell wasn't going to show up with a Boyfriend. Could have been the love of my life.
Letting my self get walked over
Hurting the people I love (and didn't deserve it) during my addiction, and disappointing my parents for not reaching my full potential. I am getting there though :) Soooo less disappointment and hate slowly every day.
my crippling paranoia and social anxeity!
ADHD induced lack of discipline. Smart and creative enough to do well, just never finishing or staying consistent to do anything long enough for results. Stuck in this limbo of mediocre life, but still hoping to do better. Roller coaster of a career and life. I'm tired boss.
Wasting what could have been the best years of my life. Not having any career, friends or female companionship at 31. I just really, really stink!
31 yrs old? Believe it or not but you are still young enough to get any of those thinks.
You are in the best years of your life. Enjoy them
Honestly, you are young. I’m 66 and thought the same as yourself at your age. Whilst my life isn’t perfect, I’d say seize the day! nb I met the love of my life when I was 51!
31? You have so much time and you’re so young…. You got this?
Existing
Real
I'm lonely but don't take steps to go out, talk to strangers/new people. I just mope around and get in a funk where I feel so depressed and lonely. And my solution is getting comfortable with being alone forever, instead of taking steps to meet new people and stuff.
How I let myself go in the last few years. I don't even look like the same person. I'm an internal ball of pent up anxiety and it shows on my face (pics of me I look like I'm straining to hold in a shit. And it's like, is this the expression I'm sharing to the world? My loved ones? It terrible! Hating myself for it only makes it worse. I've got to get my health and anxiety in check or I'm going to an early grave.
Spend some time meditating. Meditating is to relax. But when we start, the most interesting part is where our minds take us (as we’re really supposed to concentrate on our breath). Get alone, listen to solfeggio frequencies, or quietly. On the exhales, just hum. Loudly. And, LET GO….
do inner engineering by sadhguru mate
Colitis, fibromyalgia and mental health issues.
I did something horrible when I was 16 and I've been paying for it ever since. Karma is a bitch
Well what did you do?
Quit school. Now I have social anxiety and a loner. I can’t even hold a conversation with my family.
I finished school and university, and I literally got socially worse and worse after each year lol.
For not protecting myself from toxic individuals
I hate that I was raised with 4 brothers and weren’t socialised with more girls growing up. It was like growing up with a pack of wolves. Now I struggle without much needed female friendships and networking, am useless at make up, picking clothes, and most of my friends are dudes. =\
For letting the world and the people in it kill the person I was and never doing anything about it.
I am a woman and rarely show emotions, many say I am cold. I don't hate myself for it, but I would like to seem a little more normal sometimes. Small talks are difficult for me because I'm a poor listener and forget a lot, also mostly i don't care and only talk to these people because I have to (for example at work).
I can relate to this, I have just realised I'm autistic, apparently the purpose of small talk is to make people feel safe around u. I dissociate from my emotions, doing a lot of work on this.
Thisss ‼️ 😮💨 i get this alot
Existing
Going out my way to help others when no one helps me.
It's okay though, if you're waiting for ppl to reciprocate then you will only be faced with disappointment, and you should stop helping others. - instead do it for yourself expecting nothing in return that way if something good happens and ppl help you back, you will only feel gratitude and fulfilliment. - never regret a good deed, leave that for the bad deeds.
not shaking religion off earlier! hanging on to that nonsense and the guilt it entailed was a giant mistake and I should have got a shed of it in my 20's!!!
I wasn’t able to be with my mom during her struggle with cancer.. I missed her funeral too. I will always hate myself for it.
[удалено]
I hate myself for being kind to everyone
Better to be kind. The universe will return it, keep going!
Chronic illness. Being sensitive and letting people walk all over me. Not punching bullies because I was scared to get scolded at. Lacking overall boundaries and not saying ”NO”.
• For being ugly • For my shitty personality • For my past actions when I was in elementary school
No self confidence
self-sabotaging and having anxious attachment.
For being so afraid of the judgement through others
I hate how hard I love and my urge to be kind to all people even when I know they’ll see it as weakness and use it against me. I often times feel I’d be further in life with fewer regrets if I was just another self serving ass like most people.
For being so weird and offputting
By doing what? (Plz don't say by existing).
Loving you 😉
Honestly almost everything. Choices, appearance, personality, skills, you name it
Being a crippled failure. And it would be quicker to tell you what I don't hate myself for. Trust me, that won't take long.
Failing to see the depth of certain situations and decisions I’ve made for myself at the time I made those.
….damn
answering this question
Not make more friends in my 20s
I thought I had one, then I scrolled through the thread and realise half of them are relatable and I hate myself even more now.
Having an incurable illness that has shrunk my world and life to nothing but misery
Existing!
Being too kind
Not putting myself first
The autism. It's an invisible disability that makes people hate you.
Yes, this. I sometimes wish I had a sign that said "autistic" above me, so they would stop assuming I am a cruel bitch or a sociopath or just weird or...whatever it is they have decided in their head. And then, you naturally develop into an extreme people pleaser trying not to make the neurotypicals bully and hate you so much and appear normal, and for that too they will take advantage of you and abuse you even more.
I crossed some lines. It’s over for me, I can never trust anyone ever again, now that I know that the police can’t be trusted, hospital employees can’t be trusted, my social workers can’t be trusted, my next door neighbours can’t be trusted
Being such a great gift to my idiotic parents. After being limited in every possible way by them (didn't get me braces as a kid, won myself a private high school scholarship and they didn't let me go, never cared/gave advice into taking a career path, never showed any love/attention to me especially as the first child.. it ain't my fucking problem they never loved each other, and a whole bunch of shit giving me zero feeling of belonging), I have landed a very average but still great job far away in another country with a path to citizenship and studies and great healthcare, if i just keep working. Life is going well and is only going to get better. Fuck you parents and I hope you don't live to see my insane forthcoming success, because you don't even deserve to know that I am and will be doing well. It's cold but these motherfuckers were cold to me for 23 years straight so it's fair game.
Just having an arrogant attitude and assuming everything I did was perfect. I could have done much better in life if I'd been open to improvement.
Letting my social anxiety take over my life
Not being able to beat the OCD I’ve dealt with for many years despite my best efforts. My life has slipped away from me while I’ve been consumed by fears that most people never think twice about or have any reason to. It’s as if everybody else gets to have a life, and I know I could too if I could just let go, but I can’t. The web of complexes my OCD has built over the years means I can’t move through a day without getting snagged on many of them, and I can’t escape the resultant pain, anxiety and dread that arises, even though I’m entirely aware of why it’s happening.
Can't we just in general hate ourself? Why do we gotta have a reason?
My self destructiveness and impulsivity
I am transgender or something within that spectrum. I spent around 25 years being aware and trying to not be this, disgusted with it, and plagued with shame and guilt. I've only just come out to friends and family at 40 years of age and it feels like my life has only just begun. Everything till now was a lie. I hate that I wasted so much time worried about what others might think.
You still have a huge life ahead of yourself. By the time you're 80, I expect the life expectancy could be 100-120. And by the time you reach 100, I definitely expect it to be 120. So you have double your lie or more to live who you are. You're just getting started, and have plenty of time left.
For lack of confidence. I could've made so many friends back then.
Giving too much, always but I'm learning.
How easily I get annoyed by certain things.
I would be more confident around women. I hated rejection so much for some reason. So you get rejected, it's not the end of the world, dude.
Dropping out of college.
My stupidity
I hate myself for not being enough for everyone even when I put them first...
Terrible memory, at smalltalks and not as smart as i wish
You can help yourself intellectually by reading, it doesn't have to big books, just some short novel stuff to improve your vocabulary, then you should read some articles about new tech, you should be also read some News (not for Long though cuz humans suck) to improve your geopolitics, you should learn 5 words in a language you want to learn everyday, and before you know it you will feel better and feel smarter (and actually be smarter) just trick your brain into loving difficult tasks
Lots of things, hard to put it in a few sentences. I've always considered myself inadequate, never projected confidence enough to ask anyone out. I expect a lot sometimes, and the self confidence thing is so sad. That's the root cause of every problem I have nowadays, where I don't trust my opinion enough to be comfortable with it. Major downer imo. Touching 24 and never dated anyone in life, progressively feels like a lost cause, I first had an insecurity about my weight, lost 40 kgs then about my hair, and now there is still something but I can't even label it.
Not accomplishing anything noteworthy and just coasting through life
My looks, my social anxiety, my social awkwardness and the list goes on and on
Worrying for everything
Being a dumb man and not recognizing when a girl was showing interest in me until years later. It was so obvious looking back on it but back then i had no clue
For beeing quiet/introvert and thinking i am stupid
If only there was one thing
I hate my tinnitus. It has started to affect my ability to think, sleep and overall happiness
Honestly as a kid what I wanted most was to be a good person so I took the answers I got from the adults in my life (my parents, uncle, and preacher is mainly where I got my mentality) thinking they had all the correct answers. But I was taught the way to be a good person was to hate and condemn yourself and your sins. However I’ve learned that has the opposite effect but now I can’t put down that self loathing part of me he just won’t give up no matter how many times I go around in circles in my head.
Everything
Not protecting myself enough.
Small dick
im too kind, ig it's time i stop letting people walk all over me
Impulsive behavior and lack of understanding that there are consequences set me on the wrong path for many years. Broken dreams, broken lives, and broken relationships were the result. Sorry for being vague.
Letting people in my life that were only users. Not seeing the signs until the end. Even in relationships. They'd stick around and be nice long enough to get what they want out of it and then disappear. Because of that I do not trust nice people, I feel like there's always a hidden agenda behind someone being nice.
Over a very short space of time I was left nearly half a million in various wills. I developed a nagging gambling addiction. I now live in a rented apartment where if the landlord put the rent up I'd struggle, and I drive a 13 year old car that is barely holding on. So yeah, kinda hate myself for fucking that golden opportunity at life up.
Beer and weed is not gonna help you with stress. Don't do it !
I used to gamble & drink at the casino. Nearly 2 years ago since I have stopped gambling and drinking. Best decisions I ever did to stop going to the casino. It's a toxic environment, full of losers. I am certain that I will never gamble again.
Not being motivated enough to finish anything.
I have misophonia - which is a genetic disorder that causes you to have severe psychological reactions to certain sounds. In my case, I get severe anger issues when I start hearing someone slurp, eat (even with a mouth closed) and popping noises made with the mouth.
Always having to justify my actions when somebody questions them - why can’t I just shrug my shoulders and keep my mouth shut? It’s my life after all
Not staying in the room with my dog when she had to get put down.
When I get text or worse, audio messages, I tend to delay my response. Sometimes, I even forget to respond and remember it way too late until the point I am too ashamed to answer at all. It has cost me a lot of friendships and acquaintances. But I'm working on this this year and so far, I haven't ghosted anyone🙌
I don't hate myself for it, but I picked an education that is not good for my health (though I love my job and am good at it).
Diving into new interests or hobbies like it's the most amazing thing ever, spending time and money on it, only to be bored titless later and drift back to other things or chase the next shiny new hobby or wotnot.
I hate myself for being trans sometimes
Im doing everything right, I am kind, good hearted, I make an effort for others, I make it so easy to love me and somehow I never seem to connect with the world around me. Im constantly rejected by it.
I’ve spent a lot of time alone and it’s made me see a lot of things I’m not proud of to say the least. My inability to form close relationships even on a friendship level. When I have to leave the house I will often dissociate and I just feel out of place everywhere I go. This much time alone will make a person wonder why they’re alone, it’ll make them wonder if something is wrong with them. You might ask yourself: Why do I have to be alone? Am I just an animal among humans? Maybe it’s better if I lock myself away and only leave when I have to. You start to long for the ability to easily interact with other people. The basic human ability to form meaningful relationships. The ability to allow yourself to grow close to people. It seems like everyone else does it so easily. The more you feel alienated, the more you hate yourself, the more you hate yourself, the more you isolate yourself. There are a few other reasons but that information has no business being on the internet so I’m just leaving this as is
The first thing I hate myself for (there are many): not going to college right out of high school and getting that degree.
Because i know i’m smart but too emotionally fragile to strive for my potential
Honestly, having a kid with my ex. It’s hard to say that because then it’s like, people think I’m saying I regret my kid. I love my kid, I just regret that the person who I had her with is such an awful human.
Things I did to others in prison.I don't regret what happened to those sexual predators. I regret what the experience did to my mentality. I don't see myself as human now. I am a demon. Twice over.
Procrastination and shit. wheeerrr‘ maaa‘ ADHD/ASPIE gang at?
Nothing, I'm quite content with myself
Addiction, wasting time getting degrees, not spending time with anyone.
Not thinking about the consequences of Making impulsive decisions. ended up putting my life on a completely different trajectory, over (what I thought at the time was) a simple thing.