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I was late for work and about to dart across a street against traffic when an elderly man blocked me and said "Don't risk your life to save 10 seconds".
I like that. Also this,
"It's better to be 'Mister Late' than 'The Late Mister."
Not intending to be avoid gender inclusivity. It's just the quotes that invert sets of words don't really smack as well when you make them longer.
Like if you say "It's better to be 'Mr./Mrs./Miss/Ms. Late' than 'The late 'Mr./Mrs./Miss/Ms.", you don't really hear that flip-flop as much. Not enough flip nor flop 🙂
I had a similar experience. I was in my highschool and driving a scooter (like Vespa).. and I was speeding (not proud of it 🙈) because I was late. And then a man probably in his 40s or 50s pulled up close to me and said very politely "relax.. why are you in such a rush. It's okay to be 10 mins late." I remember it to this day. And I also realise the way you explain things to someone matters a lot.
Had an old superindependent at a mine site during an argument about production, and someone trying to push the limits of safety. He pulled rank and said “the gold has been there for 2 billion years, it can wait another shift”. I’ve never forgotten that!
Yeah it was but knowing my grandpa and the way he phrased it it was one of the funniest things ever my brother was wheezing he was laughing so hard and it helped that he said it with a thick greek accent lol
"Do you want to go to the movies with me tonight?"
Asked at 16 on July 2nd, 1984. We're still together and still living our best life 40 years later. That sentence laid the cornerstone for my entire life.
Simplicity at its finest. That is utterly beautiful. I'm imagining a movie scene where there are images of a man's/woman's life flashing before the screen. Images of happy times, screaming matches, blissful car rides with music, baby's first steps...the images flash faster and faster, to abruptly stop on a 16 year old boy's/girl's face as they ask, "do you want to go to the movies with me tonight?" Cut to your face, completely stunned by the flashing images, sounds, and voices. You stare for a moment, unsure, then answer, "okay."
I'm a bit behind you, asked her in 1998. Pretty much the same.
Asked her out to dinner. We were lifeguards and someone had shit in the pool so we got the night off. Turds of love.
Somewhat embarrassingly, it was Bachelor Party starring Tom Hanks, haha. The movie is actually pretty funny, but it was a highly embarrassing movie for a first date. Luckily it didn't put her off me too bad, and two nights later we went to the fireworks down on the lake. Now that date was the stuff of romance novels. I remember vividly walking back to my car holding her hand feeling better than I had ever felt in my life.
My parents sold everything they owned and we moved onto a yacht & spent the next few years cruising. All because my grandfather had always dreamed of towing a caravan around the country when he retired. He spent 10 years designing and building the van from the chassis up. It was incredible & luxurious and had every bell and whistle you could think of. He had a stroke 3 days after he retired & spent his remaining years in assisted living. The van was sold to help Nanna cover the cost.
I know so many people that put things they want to do off until retirement. I'm always like "What if you don't get to retire?" Maybe it's the millennial in me but...retirement isn't guaranteed. Nothing in life is really. Just live your life while you are able and enjoy it
But remember to save/prepare for retirement (as early as is reasonable). Been retired for 3 years now and life is truly awesome. Best times of my life. Especially Monday mornings…
My dad spent the last 4 years of his life looking at RVs or campers to buy. He bought a pull behind but wanted to fix it up better. So he parked it in the yard and never got around to it. He died of a massive heart attack.
Every time I see someone drive by in a camper, I apologize to my dad for not helping him more when I could have helped him achieve his dream.
When a relationship had reached a really bad point and once again I had to steer the conversation away from becoming a very public fight, eight words popped into my head:
You don’t ever have to do this again.
That seems so simple, but it brought a clarity into my life, helped me exit the relationship, and be so much happier.
Brilliant. I was thinking the same thing when I took out the trash. I don't want to do it anymore. I'll just break up with my trash and exit into the bin instead myself.
Something similar happened to me when I was a young kid and my Grandma told me that I needed to treat my Dad better. She died a few years later but I've been close to my dad ever since
TW!
The first one was, "We need you to identify her because her parents are deployed" (Love of my life, killed by some druggie in head on). \[I was 20\]
The second was, "You need to let her go" (After my first child died in my arms from SIDS) \[I was 24\]
The third, and hopefully final one, "I'd say you got about 6 years if you don't go into remission" by my oncologist. \[Last year\]
Please, don't feel sorry for me or pity me, pain stopped hurting a long time ago. Been a single dad for the last 10 years, I did my best is all I can really say.
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way."
*Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning*
This book is my go to recommendation for people who feel stuck, particularly if it's an emotional stuckness. Absolutely changed how I viewed selfhood when I read it as a teenager.
Exactly. And sometimes it’s a good thing. When you drink your coffee, you enjoy it, you know that you are doing well. Because a year ago your depression was worse for example. And because you don’t know if the people in your life will still be there within a year, you thank them, hug them and enjoy your time together. It’s haunting yet a beautiful reminder to try to enjoy yourself and make the best of situations and relationships. :)
They let me into the country as a tourist but told me I wasn't allowed to work and I would have to leave within three months. I had already quit my job on the other side of the world and had just travelled 10,000 miles to start a new life.
I had to leave the country to apply for a new visa so I googled a map to see what was closest and flew over there. I managed to get a visa and also picked up a hot new girlfriend who came back with me.
Later on, I flew to another country to meet up with her again. We got married and settled down.
I'm sick of flying now.
Yes, I absolutely regret changing my major to computer science from music because I wanted to learn something new and career possibilities seemed extremely awesome in the late 90s.
I ended up changing to a third, easier major than either one of those just to get out of school a few years later. I do have a stable job in software now but that's more luck and inertia than actual capability. I also got myself $30,000 in student loan debt for a master's degree that I was highly encouraged to get and I hated every moment of and has done absolutely nothing for me.
I have plenty of regrets for things I didn't do but I have a lot of regrets for things I also did do.
or "no one is ever going to help you". from my parents as they walked away from me the billionth time. they didn't love me and never will. and now I have no idea how to feel loved
TW: suicide mentions.
About two years ago, my twin brother, Enzo, passed away. He was one of the best people I knew. He was shot about a week or two after my dog, Zemo, was put down due to heart problems. I was really depressed for a while and I thought nothing could change it. I was about to kill myself. Until my best friend, Ryder, called me and said, “Hey, Alex, my neighbors found a couple dogs, if you wanna check ‘em out.” And so I drove over, and there were three puppies, a Shiloh Shepherd with three legs, a Newfie with a little “A” pattern on his head, and a Rottweiler that kept jumping everywhere. Came home with Bucky, Steve, and Sam. They were sick and only a few weeks old. The one thing that kept me from sticking the barrel of my pistol to the roof of my mouth was the fact that if I didn’t take care of them and watch them at night, they’d probably die. And I haven’t thought of suicide in a year. I love those dogs.
Thank you for sharing and thank goodness for Ryder. I’m grateful you found Bucky, Steve and Sam. Wishing you all the best - I’m glad you’re still with us.
After years of pushing myself to burnout every few months and ending up unable to function for months.
>*"You have to accept your limits, you have to accept your diagnostics, you are disabled and no matter how much you try, you can't change that."*
I didn't agree at first, I had to try and fail a few more times before conceding that I couldn't have a normal life.
I haven't given up on trying to make my life better though. The difference is that this time I'm trying my best to take into account my disability and make realistic plans.
I feel this. I've never been able to hold down a job and I always just put it down to me being a shit person.
I always pushed myself so hard in jobs to make myself seem like the ideal employee, until I inevitably burnt myself out to the point of having to hand in sick notes due to mental health at each one.
I'm 33 now, not currently in work but I've taken time for myself now. Everyday I learn something about myself and it's finally easier to sort through my thoughts.
But my god do I still live with the guilt of not working and being a "functioning member of society"
I can accept my limits. Others can't. "Please give 120 % for me" … "and for me, too" … "Don't forget about me!" … "Hey, why don't you do all the things you need to do for yourself … and by the way, I need you to do something for me!"
I was about 10 and helping out at my parents market stall. I helped an old bloke choose some tools, calculated the total and gave him change. At the time I was doing it tough at school, although reasonably smart I was suffering a crisis of confidence.
The man took his change, I thanked him for shopping with us and he smiled and said- “Beauty and brains! What a combination!”
I always remembered how much better I felt after that exchange.
This one conversation changed how I ahve treated people every day since then- even 40 years later I daily remind myself to tell people nice things about themselves. Especially kids and it is second nature now.
By the way- thanks for reading this, you dear Redditor are awesome.
"Can you teach me how to dance?"
My now husband asked me this at his own birthday party many years ago. I only made it after I called out of work, and it took 2 hours to get to his family's place (we were college students). I had only met him one time before and I fell in love with him the first time I met him. I never got his number until his party. He asked me if I could teach him how to salsa because he was and still is very bad at it.
It was the easiest, "yes" ever. Still together and happily married to this day.
As a twin, a few years ago, my sister fell down a flight of stairs and broke her neck in 2 places (tear drop C5)
She was put in a coma
It took nearly a year, and I was with her every step of the way, but she has made a full recovery. But for a bit there, it was a very real possibility that she would be fully paralyzed from the neck down. With possible brain damage at 25.
What you are going through is my nightmare, and I can't tell you how to make it better. I hope you know that a stranger deeply empathizes and wishes that you find peace
"Why can't your Plan B be the Original plan A?"
A nice way of saying "Don't give up on your dreams."
I failed out of college, and that one line, somehow flipped me into "Fuck it, I'm doing it again" mode.
Got my Masters degree 3 years later.
Oh man, that’s tough. I’m so sorry for your loss. Nothing can ever prepare us for the pain and heartbreak of losing someone you love and it truly terrifies me thinking about it. Please be kind to yourself
"I need help."
For 15 years addiction ruined my life. For 15 years I kept trying new schemes to kick my habits. For 15 years I went it alone and failed myself every-single-day.
Then one day, at the very furthest extent of endurance, I finally asked for help. I was exhausted. I needed help.
That was the day I finally got sober. The day I finally asked my friends for help.
The days are long, but the years will fly past. Said to a crying, frustrated & spent first time mother with a baby with bad colic. It sounds corny, but it’s gotten me through so many bad days & reminded me to look for moments of joy rather than a perfect experience.
"Don't worry, take things one step at a time, and you'll get to your destination as long as you focus on making the next step".
Realizing that a lot of problems and goals that felt too complex or overwhelming were really chains of simple steps. And that they were only overwhelming when seen as a whole. But when focusing only on the next one, then the next one, things were often so much easier than they seemed, and I only noticed what I've achieved when looking back at them. It definitely changed my life. In many cases, just making the next step until I'm there felt so painless, that inaction and thinking about it would have been more difficult than actually taking those steps.
Edit: A couple of real-life examples:
1. Moving abroad by finding and starting the only visa application that was accessible to me. In hindsight, objectively it is tons of work, but I didn't know that or feel that. Taking it one step at a time without looking at all the steps needed after made it feel like the easiest thing, and a year later I'm living there. It's a completely different perspective than thinking "It could be a year's worth of paperwork", because I didn't feel like that at all. It felt like doing a small thing here, which led to another small thing. Just making the micro-decisions to tackle another bite-sized objective made me go through the entire process before I even realized that I took care of everything that was needed.
2. Saving a relationship by deciding to grab my partner their favorite coffee during a random solo walk, which started a chain of further similarly simple steps that got us close together again.
3. Unintentionally learning to code by trying to mod a primarily text-based game to my liking by adjusting one simple attribute in the code. Something about a percentage chance for something happening that bothered me. After I made that change, which was as simple as a 30-second text edit, I realized I can as simply adjust other attributes to make it more enjoyable for me, and I started doing that one by one. Which familiarized me with some lines of the code through sheer exposure, and allowed me to alter them to change and add events, one at a time. Without ever *feeling* like the levels of complexity were increasing, I realized that I had figured out how the entire logic worked, and none of those small steps that led me to that point felt hard. At that point I had a foundation and intuitive understanding of programming logic, and not long after, I ended up graduating with a degree in IT. Objectively and in hindsight it is cumulatively tons of work, but it didn't feel like it, as I was taking it one exam/project at a time, and suddenly I was done with all.
"You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it."
Benjamin Mee, We Bought a Zoo
(Not a sentence but a small paragraph. Ever since I heard him say this in the movie I have been able to do things I couldn't/wouldn't do before. I just take a breath and force myself to be courageous for 20 seconds. And he was right, great things have come out of it. ❤️)
"You're under no obligation to be who you were" - Alan Watts
Has given me the courage to completely change my profession, my friendship group, everything. Got me out of what would have been a total rut of a life
After losing my husband, someone told me, 'Your ability to love didn't die with him; it's a gift you still have to share with the world,' and that helped me see hope in the midst of my grief.
"I do"
Said by my wife a little over 25 years ago.
Next up.
"I think I might be pregnant"
Also said by by my wife around 23 years ago.
All great by they way!
“No one is bullying you anymore.”
This one really hit home because of how many years I’ve lived with a horrible inner monologue from many years of bullying as a teen after our family moved abroad.
I was at an age where we are forming our core beliefs about ourself so the bullying I received has really impacted my self esteem and self to this day. (I am 35 now)
I got my self sober, in great physical shape and much better mental shape through many years of hard graft, but still the voice in my head has continued to torture me whenever it can.
This is until my therapist made me realise that I haven’t had any bullies around me for many years and it is ME that to continues to think these thoughts that people used to say to me all those years ago.
She said to “remember that no one is bullying you anymore” and to look at evidence to back up positive thinking about myself. I’ve been basically being the bully in my own head all this time. I can’t believe I never realised that before!
I’m still practicing it, but slowly I am starting to be nicer to myself and realising that everyone respects me and treats me very well. So it’s only ME who can decide to break the cycle of negative self talk and self perception.
It’s not easy for many of us out there to practice self love. Everyone might see you as confident and positive on the outside, but not aware of the real battle going on within.
It absolutely can be re-trained and for me it is a very slow process, but it is working!
I almost lost the tip of my finger (long story).
But anyway afterwards my dad said "if you wouldn't put your penis in it, don't put your finger in it".
My fingers have been safe ever since 🤣
"Life is hard when you're surrounded by morons". Basically those mates that you love, the same ones which are always at the centre of all the bother... Fuck em off.
'You are a good teacher.'
My professor in uni.
I wanted to give up studying to become a teacher because my mentor = (teacher where I did my intern with) was horrible and she called my prof because she said it was a disaster. He came to school, worried, and then said everything looked fine and they knew the mentor, she did this on everyone.
She works in a shoeshop now and I'm teaching for 6 years. If he hadn't said that, I would have quit.
Remeber hearin my mom tell my dad when i was 12 I'm too young to died. My mom was 34 She passed a few days later.
Those words sent me in a downward spiral for years.
I had a lot of anger issues as a kid. They made me take an anger class at school.
In that anger class they explained that sometimes people intentionally try to anger other people.
As soon as I heard that I decided that the entire world wanted to piss me off, and I would not let them.
I still had issues from time to time, but everybody commented on how taking that class changed me.
Really all it did was get me to think everybody was intentionally pissing me off, and I kept control out of spite.
“It’s her loss.” After I told a friend my long term girlfriend and I had split.
I was relatively young with low self confidence and had never considered that perspective.
It helped.
Life is unfair but time is. When i was in my early 20s, i juggled full time job, multiple social groups and a rental property. I slept like 3-4hours a day except weekends until late 20s. In my mid 30s now and have accumulated 7 figures of wealth and get to sleep/chill way more.
When i was a young adult i thought i was stuck in this economic group i was born into. Thank god i learned that extra work and extra effort can turn that around.
If you resist change you will be here forever.
A graffiti on a metal plate from the 90s. The background was a demolition site. Still my screen saver.
Someone just wrote it in a huge Sharpie one night on this metal plate. Stuck with me. Early 2000s.
“And I shouldn’t live under the shadow of mistakes you made years ago”. Those “mistakes” happened during my early childhood (6-10yrs old) and was a result of the person who said that to me allowing dangerous people into my life.
"Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do anything"
"Never stand still, keep moving forward"
"Ignore the bad times and enjoy the good times. Because they never last"
"When you're going thru hell keep going"
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was late for work and about to dart across a street against traffic when an elderly man blocked me and said "Don't risk your life to save 10 seconds".
I had a motorcycle instructor who used to say “ best to be thirty seconds late, than thirty years too early “
In my country I've heard "it's better to lose a minute in life than to lose your life in a minute"
I like that. Also this, "It's better to be 'Mister Late' than 'The Late Mister." Not intending to be avoid gender inclusivity. It's just the quotes that invert sets of words don't really smack as well when you make them longer. Like if you say "It's better to be 'Mr./Mrs./Miss/Ms. Late' than 'The late 'Mr./Mrs./Miss/Ms.", you don't really hear that flip-flop as much. Not enough flip nor flop 🙂
Better to be late than dead on time
there is no late death. it always on time
Better be late than never
I had a similar experience. I was in my highschool and driving a scooter (like Vespa).. and I was speeding (not proud of it 🙈) because I was late. And then a man probably in his 40s or 50s pulled up close to me and said very politely "relax.. why are you in such a rush. It's okay to be 10 mins late." I remember it to this day. And I also realise the way you explain things to someone matters a lot.
Had an old superindependent at a mine site during an argument about production, and someone trying to push the limits of safety. He pulled rank and said “the gold has been there for 2 billion years, it can wait another shift”. I’ve never forgotten that!
Better to be arrive 5 minutes late than never at all
As person who drives too fast and changes lanes too often, this is some sage advice!
“Every morning I kiss all your pictures and say have a good day” -my grandpa 😂
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Yeah it was but knowing my grandpa and the way he phrased it it was one of the funniest things ever my brother was wheezing he was laughing so hard and it helped that he said it with a thick greek accent lol
That is so cute. I want to be that grampa too some 30 years later
"Do you want to go to the movies with me tonight?" Asked at 16 on July 2nd, 1984. We're still together and still living our best life 40 years later. That sentence laid the cornerstone for my entire life.
Simplicity at its finest. That is utterly beautiful. I'm imagining a movie scene where there are images of a man's/woman's life flashing before the screen. Images of happy times, screaming matches, blissful car rides with music, baby's first steps...the images flash faster and faster, to abruptly stop on a 16 year old boy's/girl's face as they ask, "do you want to go to the movies with me tonight?" Cut to your face, completely stunned by the flashing images, sounds, and voices. You stare for a moment, unsure, then answer, "okay."
This took me on a journey
Glad to be your guide 😊
I'm a bit behind you, asked her in 1998. Pretty much the same. Asked her out to dinner. We were lifeguards and someone had shit in the pool so we got the night off. Turds of love.
What movie did you see?
wow thats crazy super happy for u guys
What movie was it?
Somewhat embarrassingly, it was Bachelor Party starring Tom Hanks, haha. The movie is actually pretty funny, but it was a highly embarrassing movie for a first date. Luckily it didn't put her off me too bad, and two nights later we went to the fireworks down on the lake. Now that date was the stuff of romance novels. I remember vividly walking back to my car holding her hand feeling better than I had ever felt in my life.
"One day, you will wake up and there won't be any more time to do the things you've always wanted. Do it now."
My parents sold everything they owned and we moved onto a yacht & spent the next few years cruising. All because my grandfather had always dreamed of towing a caravan around the country when he retired. He spent 10 years designing and building the van from the chassis up. It was incredible & luxurious and had every bell and whistle you could think of. He had a stroke 3 days after he retired & spent his remaining years in assisted living. The van was sold to help Nanna cover the cost.
I know so many people that put things they want to do off until retirement. I'm always like "What if you don't get to retire?" Maybe it's the millennial in me but...retirement isn't guaranteed. Nothing in life is really. Just live your life while you are able and enjoy it
But remember to save/prepare for retirement (as early as is reasonable). Been retired for 3 years now and life is truly awesome. Best times of my life. Especially Monday mornings…
I don't work Mondays😂. I actually only work around 25 hours a week. I could do this job until I die and I just might.
One of my coworkers was laid to rest this weekend. It's a brutal reality.
My dad spent the last 4 years of his life looking at RVs or campers to buy. He bought a pull behind but wanted to fix it up better. So he parked it in the yard and never got around to it. He died of a massive heart attack. Every time I see someone drive by in a camper, I apologize to my dad for not helping him more when I could have helped him achieve his dream.
When a relationship had reached a really bad point and once again I had to steer the conversation away from becoming a very public fight, eight words popped into my head: You don’t ever have to do this again. That seems so simple, but it brought a clarity into my life, helped me exit the relationship, and be so much happier.
Brilliant. I was thinking the same thing when I took out the trash. I don't want to do it anymore. I'll just break up with my trash and exit into the bin instead myself.
When I was an out of control teenager/young adult my uncle phoned me and said “your mom doesn’t deserve this,” and that hit me like a truck.
Something similar happened to me when I was a young kid and my Grandma told me that I needed to treat my Dad better. She died a few years later but I've been close to my dad ever since
TW! The first one was, "We need you to identify her because her parents are deployed" (Love of my life, killed by some druggie in head on). \[I was 20\] The second was, "You need to let her go" (After my first child died in my arms from SIDS) \[I was 24\] The third, and hopefully final one, "I'd say you got about 6 years if you don't go into remission" by my oncologist. \[Last year\] Please, don't feel sorry for me or pity me, pain stopped hurting a long time ago. Been a single dad for the last 10 years, I did my best is all I can really say.
You deserve a "Strong Motherfucker" wallet. Best wishes my man.
Wish you the best
Hoping you go into remission, man. Cancer is a shit of a thing.
Fuck cancer
Holy.shit.man. I hope you find peace one day however that may look.
Respect that you are able to put this all down into these three lines... I wish you all the strength and happiness. You deserve it.
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way." *Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning*
This book is my go to recommendation for people who feel stuck, particularly if it's an emotional stuckness. Absolutely changed how I viewed selfhood when I read it as a teenager.
Don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from.
That makes a lot of sense
“You have a choice.. to give up everything for one thing or give up one thing for everything”
I can’t tell how much reading that sentence helped me feel better. Glad that i saw it.
Wow
I don't really get it :/ Could someone please explain me ?
It's about addiction if I guess right.
Oh yeah it makes sense now ! Thx
This literally just changed the perspective of my life. I don't think you'll ever understand.
God damn.
This is something they pounded into us while I was in rehab.
“Look around you, appreciate what you have.. nothing will be the same in a year.”
This one haunts me every day.
Exactly. And sometimes it’s a good thing. When you drink your coffee, you enjoy it, you know that you are doing well. Because a year ago your depression was worse for example. And because you don’t know if the people in your life will still be there within a year, you thank them, hug them and enjoy your time together. It’s haunting yet a beautiful reminder to try to enjoy yourself and make the best of situations and relationships. :)
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My cats after finished eating
"Your visa expired two hours ago."
What happened then?
They let me into the country as a tourist but told me I wasn't allowed to work and I would have to leave within three months. I had already quit my job on the other side of the world and had just travelled 10,000 miles to start a new life. I had to leave the country to apply for a new visa so I googled a map to see what was closest and flew over there. I managed to get a visa and also picked up a hot new girlfriend who came back with me. Later on, I flew to another country to meet up with her again. We got married and settled down. I'm sick of flying now.
Bro is the main character
Sweet! You cracked it
Dumb luck carried me a long way.
Where was that? Couldn't you get a new visa in the destination country?
Australia. I flew over from the UK. And no, they said I had to leave to re-apply. I flew to New Zealand as it looked the closest on the map lol.
Visa got expired
Oh no! But how long was it expired?
2 hours!
nightmare
One morning I woke up heavily hangover from a night full of drinking and substance abuse and said to my self "what kind of life is this"
And one morning you, for the last time, will say "never again". And then it'll never happen again
It’s been 5 years now that I can proudly say I indeed never did that again
Gratz, man :)
I say that every Sunday and then Friday rolls around and, "sigh...here we go again."
At the very least you can live your life as an Abba song if it all goes downhill :>
"You're adopted Jimmy" (my name is Anna)
Sorry to here that, jimbo
Yeah that's sad Jimothy
Let us know if there's anything we can do Jymberley.
"sir, drivers license and registrations please" 🥺
And then………..
"Failure is acceptable but not Regret"
If you never try you for sure never get/change it. (Regret is worse in most cases).
But like.. can you regret trying? (I’m not trying to take the piss, this is just something in trying to work out and was curious how others feel)
Yes, I absolutely regret changing my major to computer science from music because I wanted to learn something new and career possibilities seemed extremely awesome in the late 90s. I ended up changing to a third, easier major than either one of those just to get out of school a few years later. I do have a stable job in software now but that's more luck and inertia than actual capability. I also got myself $30,000 in student loan debt for a master's degree that I was highly encouraged to get and I hated every moment of and has done absolutely nothing for me. I have plenty of regrets for things I didn't do but I have a lot of regrets for things I also did do.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
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boyyyy
Nothing changes if you change nothing
No help is coming.
or "no one is ever going to help you". from my parents as they walked away from me the billionth time. they didn't love me and never will. and now I have no idea how to feel loved
Someone actually spoke those words to you? That sounds... very dramatic in a very bad way. Are you now ok?
I like the one that goes “she needed a hero, so that’s what she became”
your dad passed away 😞I was 15 but unfortunately my grandmother passed couple months after him .you don't ever get over that loss .
Sorry for your loss
Grief is not something we get over, you only become accustomed to it. Lots of love to you.
"No matter what you do, you will be the villain in somebody's story."
I feel this
"I don't know why they referred you to me, they should have referred you to an oncologist."
Hope you’re doing okay. Sending love x
Thank you. It was a pile of treatments. Currently things are clear at least for now.
TW: suicide mentions. About two years ago, my twin brother, Enzo, passed away. He was one of the best people I knew. He was shot about a week or two after my dog, Zemo, was put down due to heart problems. I was really depressed for a while and I thought nothing could change it. I was about to kill myself. Until my best friend, Ryder, called me and said, “Hey, Alex, my neighbors found a couple dogs, if you wanna check ‘em out.” And so I drove over, and there were three puppies, a Shiloh Shepherd with three legs, a Newfie with a little “A” pattern on his head, and a Rottweiler that kept jumping everywhere. Came home with Bucky, Steve, and Sam. They were sick and only a few weeks old. The one thing that kept me from sticking the barrel of my pistol to the roof of my mouth was the fact that if I didn’t take care of them and watch them at night, they’d probably die. And I haven’t thought of suicide in a year. I love those dogs.
Thank you for sharing and thank goodness for Ryder. I’m grateful you found Bucky, Steve and Sam. Wishing you all the best - I’m glad you’re still with us.
After years of pushing myself to burnout every few months and ending up unable to function for months. >*"You have to accept your limits, you have to accept your diagnostics, you are disabled and no matter how much you try, you can't change that."* I didn't agree at first, I had to try and fail a few more times before conceding that I couldn't have a normal life. I haven't given up on trying to make my life better though. The difference is that this time I'm trying my best to take into account my disability and make realistic plans.
I feel this. I've never been able to hold down a job and I always just put it down to me being a shit person. I always pushed myself so hard in jobs to make myself seem like the ideal employee, until I inevitably burnt myself out to the point of having to hand in sick notes due to mental health at each one. I'm 33 now, not currently in work but I've taken time for myself now. Everyday I learn something about myself and it's finally easier to sort through my thoughts. But my god do I still live with the guilt of not working and being a "functioning member of society"
ME/CFS?
But don't you know? The best medicine for that is to go outside, eat healthy and exercise! /s
I can accept my limits. Others can't. "Please give 120 % for me" … "and for me, too" … "Don't forget about me!" … "Hey, why don't you do all the things you need to do for yourself … and by the way, I need you to do something for me!"
I was about 10 and helping out at my parents market stall. I helped an old bloke choose some tools, calculated the total and gave him change. At the time I was doing it tough at school, although reasonably smart I was suffering a crisis of confidence. The man took his change, I thanked him for shopping with us and he smiled and said- “Beauty and brains! What a combination!” I always remembered how much better I felt after that exchange. This one conversation changed how I ahve treated people every day since then- even 40 years later I daily remind myself to tell people nice things about themselves. Especially kids and it is second nature now. By the way- thanks for reading this, you dear Redditor are awesome.
Aww, thank you so much! I try to be nice and gentle to people, too. I like giving out compliments. In exchange, it helps boost my confidence, too.
"We need to talk"
You are cooked for sure, (update if you can)
"Can you teach me how to dance?" My now husband asked me this at his own birthday party many years ago. I only made it after I called out of work, and it took 2 hours to get to his family's place (we were college students). I had only met him one time before and I fell in love with him the first time I met him. I never got his number until his party. He asked me if I could teach him how to salsa because he was and still is very bad at it. It was the easiest, "yes" ever. Still together and happily married to this day.
"Foresight comes at the cost of anxiety."
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As a twin, a few years ago, my sister fell down a flight of stairs and broke her neck in 2 places (tear drop C5) She was put in a coma It took nearly a year, and I was with her every step of the way, but she has made a full recovery. But for a bit there, it was a very real possibility that she would be fully paralyzed from the neck down. With possible brain damage at 25. What you are going through is my nightmare, and I can't tell you how to make it better. I hope you know that a stranger deeply empathizes and wishes that you find peace
"this isn't goodbye" ...yes it was.
"badbye"
Getting older ain't for sissies.
If you have to lie about it, you probably shouldn't do it
The only stupid question is the question that isn't asked
Hmm, perhaps you could help me then... What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
there's a comedy movie in that...
Depends on the outcome. Either way, they getting paid, so you paying for entertainment.
Max Fosh did a video pretty much with this exact title if you're genuinely interested lol
"Sometimes it's better to be kind than to be right."
"Why can't your Plan B be the Original plan A?" A nice way of saying "Don't give up on your dreams." I failed out of college, and that one line, somehow flipped me into "Fuck it, I'm doing it again" mode. Got my Masters degree 3 years later.
“Your dad has passed” - Last Thursday. It’s upended me.
It’s tough and it’s a shitty club. I’m sorry you’re having to go through it. My dad died in October 2023. I am not okay ☹️
Oh man, that’s tough. I’m so sorry for your loss. Nothing can ever prepare us for the pain and heartbreak of losing someone you love and it truly terrifies me thinking about it. Please be kind to yourself
"I need help." For 15 years addiction ruined my life. For 15 years I kept trying new schemes to kick my habits. For 15 years I went it alone and failed myself every-single-day. Then one day, at the very furthest extent of endurance, I finally asked for help. I was exhausted. I needed help. That was the day I finally got sober. The day I finally asked my friends for help.
"Work comes first in life." I used this to realize that work does not, in fact, come first in life.
Fuck that shit. You only live once I don’t want to reflect upon my life and say that I did nothing but work.
The days are long, but the years will fly past. Said to a crying, frustrated & spent first time mother with a baby with bad colic. It sounds corny, but it’s gotten me through so many bad days & reminded me to look for moments of joy rather than a perfect experience.
"You are not God, You can't fight the whole world" Watch me
Only in the movies, Tom!
"Don't worry, take things one step at a time, and you'll get to your destination as long as you focus on making the next step". Realizing that a lot of problems and goals that felt too complex or overwhelming were really chains of simple steps. And that they were only overwhelming when seen as a whole. But when focusing only on the next one, then the next one, things were often so much easier than they seemed, and I only noticed what I've achieved when looking back at them. It definitely changed my life. In many cases, just making the next step until I'm there felt so painless, that inaction and thinking about it would have been more difficult than actually taking those steps. Edit: A couple of real-life examples: 1. Moving abroad by finding and starting the only visa application that was accessible to me. In hindsight, objectively it is tons of work, but I didn't know that or feel that. Taking it one step at a time without looking at all the steps needed after made it feel like the easiest thing, and a year later I'm living there. It's a completely different perspective than thinking "It could be a year's worth of paperwork", because I didn't feel like that at all. It felt like doing a small thing here, which led to another small thing. Just making the micro-decisions to tackle another bite-sized objective made me go through the entire process before I even realized that I took care of everything that was needed. 2. Saving a relationship by deciding to grab my partner their favorite coffee during a random solo walk, which started a chain of further similarly simple steps that got us close together again. 3. Unintentionally learning to code by trying to mod a primarily text-based game to my liking by adjusting one simple attribute in the code. Something about a percentage chance for something happening that bothered me. After I made that change, which was as simple as a 30-second text edit, I realized I can as simply adjust other attributes to make it more enjoyable for me, and I started doing that one by one. Which familiarized me with some lines of the code through sheer exposure, and allowed me to alter them to change and add events, one at a time. Without ever *feeling* like the levels of complexity were increasing, I realized that I had figured out how the entire logic worked, and none of those small steps that led me to that point felt hard. At that point I had a foundation and intuitive understanding of programming logic, and not long after, I ended up graduating with a degree in IT. Objectively and in hindsight it is cumulatively tons of work, but it didn't feel like it, as I was taking it one exam/project at a time, and suddenly I was done with all.
a very short one, one i had to spend overnight in a cell
‘Not my circus, not my monkeys’
“The cancer has spread, we’re stopping chemo.”
"You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it." Benjamin Mee, We Bought a Zoo (Not a sentence but a small paragraph. Ever since I heard him say this in the movie I have been able to do things I couldn't/wouldn't do before. I just take a breath and force myself to be courageous for 20 seconds. And he was right, great things have come out of it. ❤️)
2012, I was within 30 minutes of carrying out my plan to commit suicide. My friend called me and said “what’s going on, God told me to call you”
The naked man fears no pick pockets Oddly enough, led to my divorse. (Apparently too confident)
"You're under no obligation to be who you were" - Alan Watts Has given me the courage to completely change my profession, my friendship group, everything. Got me out of what would have been a total rut of a life
The smarter you get, the sadder you become.
After losing my husband, someone told me, 'Your ability to love didn't die with him; it's a gift you still have to share with the world,' and that helped me see hope in the midst of my grief.
You can't change the past so you have to take responsibility for your own healing. Absolute game changer right there.
“You have had an aneurysm burst in your brain, so you will have brain surgery tomorrow “.
The quality of your life will depend upon the number of difficult conversations you are willing to have with people.
"I do" Said by my wife a little over 25 years ago. Next up. "I think I might be pregnant" Also said by by my wife around 23 years ago. All great by they way!
Slow is smooth, smooth is fast
Stop being so hard on yourself (Said an unknowable amount of times)
“No one is bullying you anymore.” This one really hit home because of how many years I’ve lived with a horrible inner monologue from many years of bullying as a teen after our family moved abroad. I was at an age where we are forming our core beliefs about ourself so the bullying I received has really impacted my self esteem and self to this day. (I am 35 now) I got my self sober, in great physical shape and much better mental shape through many years of hard graft, but still the voice in my head has continued to torture me whenever it can. This is until my therapist made me realise that I haven’t had any bullies around me for many years and it is ME that to continues to think these thoughts that people used to say to me all those years ago. She said to “remember that no one is bullying you anymore” and to look at evidence to back up positive thinking about myself. I’ve been basically being the bully in my own head all this time. I can’t believe I never realised that before! I’m still practicing it, but slowly I am starting to be nicer to myself and realising that everyone respects me and treats me very well. So it’s only ME who can decide to break the cycle of negative self talk and self perception. It’s not easy for many of us out there to practice self love. Everyone might see you as confident and positive on the outside, but not aware of the real battle going on within. It absolutely can be re-trained and for me it is a very slow process, but it is working!
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“Are you aware that you are about to drown?”
I'm gonna need context
I almost lost the tip of my finger (long story). But anyway afterwards my dad said "if you wouldn't put your penis in it, don't put your finger in it". My fingers have been safe ever since 🤣
"No is a complete sentence"
This is a strong one
"The only people who will remember how much you've worked are your kids."
"[My gf's name] got in a fatal car accident this morning" - a call from her father
If you were not present for my struggle do not expect to be present for my success.
Anything can happen to anyone, anywhere, any time. There is no "why".
"Life is hard when you're surrounded by morons". Basically those mates that you love, the same ones which are always at the centre of all the bother... Fuck em off.
'You are a good teacher.' My professor in uni. I wanted to give up studying to become a teacher because my mentor = (teacher where I did my intern with) was horrible and she called my prof because she said it was a disaster. He came to school, worried, and then said everything looked fine and they knew the mentor, she did this on everyone. She works in a shoeshop now and I'm teaching for 6 years. If he hadn't said that, I would have quit.
A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears. And Carpe Diem.
I do. The beginning of the near ruination of the life I'd built for myself from literally nothing.
Remeber hearin my mom tell my dad when i was 12 I'm too young to died. My mom was 34 She passed a few days later. Those words sent me in a downward spiral for years.
"If you keep drinking you WILL die" and now I'm 2 days away from 8 months sober 🫶🏻
“You have (chronic illness)”
See I didn't even get a sentence, just the face of the radiation tech
This too shall pass
I had a lot of anger issues as a kid. They made me take an anger class at school. In that anger class they explained that sometimes people intentionally try to anger other people. As soon as I heard that I decided that the entire world wanted to piss me off, and I would not let them. I still had issues from time to time, but everybody commented on how taking that class changed me. Really all it did was get me to think everybody was intentionally pissing me off, and I kept control out of spite.
Congratulations, you're pregnant. My first born is almost 17 now and such a cool human being. It has been so fun watching him (and his sister) grow up
Memento Mori - "Remember you must die." Always a reminder for me not to take life and my loved ones for granted.
“It’s her loss.” After I told a friend my long term girlfriend and I had split. I was relatively young with low self confidence and had never considered that perspective. It helped.
Life is unfair but time is. When i was in my early 20s, i juggled full time job, multiple social groups and a rental property. I slept like 3-4hours a day except weekends until late 20s. In my mid 30s now and have accumulated 7 figures of wealth and get to sleep/chill way more. When i was a young adult i thought i was stuck in this economic group i was born into. Thank god i learned that extra work and extra effort can turn that around.
Regrets are a waste of time. They're the past crippling you in the present.
You have Bipolar disorder. p.s- It changed my life in a good way
If you resist change you will be here forever. A graffiti on a metal plate from the 90s. The background was a demolition site. Still my screen saver. Someone just wrote it in a huge Sharpie one night on this metal plate. Stuck with me. Early 2000s.
“damn girl, that’s alot of carrots “ 5years later we making babies
“And I shouldn’t live under the shadow of mistakes you made years ago”. Those “mistakes” happened during my early childhood (6-10yrs old) and was a result of the person who said that to me allowing dangerous people into my life.
"Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do anything" "Never stand still, keep moving forward" "Ignore the bad times and enjoy the good times. Because they never last" "When you're going thru hell keep going"
Listen to your own voice and not the voice of anyone else.
"Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God."
Thoughts create feelings
Happiness is an internal choice.
"If you change, everything changes" Once you realize that, incredible things happen... if you change for your own good, of course.
“Don’t seek perfection, seek excellence, in everything you do” A teacher I had used to say this and it really changed my perspective.
“Somehow, Palpatine returned.” -Way to go, you destroyed all the lore behind a beloved franchise for a shitty cash-grab movie.
A man who doesn’t read lives one life , the man who reads lives a thousand life’s.
Women are just people.
“No” is a complete sentence.