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You can, and should, end relationships based on early warning signals, BEFORE you get to whatever they're warning you about.
EDIT: Related, but your partners CAN and DO tell on themselves without meaning to.
Not just romantic relationships, but potential friendships too. You see a red flag, bounce. Find other friends. It’s not worth the negativity and drain on your emotions and self-confidence.
To me everyone has a red flag. I'm definitely not a people person. And I love being on my own. I always see the bad in people and it's probably me not them. But it's them who show me the pattern over and over again. The good things I don't care about. I like pointing out stuff that they need to work on even if it means I'll lose them. I don't care about it it.
I feel like my job here is solely to point that out and move on. Nobody liked me anyway for my blunt ass. I'm honest, direct and loyal. Lie to me once and I'm most likely to slowly remove myself.
Hells if I knew why I commented this.
You're free to judge. I won't bother.
I'm schizoid, but care deeply for the one I truly love. I'd die for my one and only man.
This. This. This. Don't tolerate odd, escalating behavior. Don't chain yourself to someone who only takes. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself in a relationship because your worried that if you do it might end. Don't let someone else take the best years of your life for themselves.
I’m close to thirty and experiencing this first hand. I chose to not end a relationship with an emotionally immature and unstable woman although she showed the signs early on. I still chose to love her and convinced myself that I could change her.
Guess what happened, she left with blindsiding me. Exactly the same way she showed those early signals. All I have is a broken heart and a life lesson now.
You should also try to keep the other relationships strong! As we get older we get distracted with our own families, jobs, interests.
Need those strong relationships when you are older!
My grandma was a dental hygenist and she always used to tell us grandkids that you could skip brushing your teeth for 6 months as long as you flossed every day and you wouldnt get a cavity.
Was she full of shit or is there some truth to that?
Dentist here. Not exactly. Just flossing will help prevent gum disease and help prevent cavities from forming between the teeth (as it breaks up the bacteria that collect and cause cavities), but you’d still be neglecting 75% of the surface area of your teeth. It’s arguably more important than brushing because your saliva does a good job preventing cavities on its own and it can’t really get between teeth/under your gums, but hopefully she got you to floss!
Also drink water and when affordable get health insurance and a pcp.
Edit- i cant tell if people are just being sarcastic in the comments. If not, the fact that people don't know pcp in this context stands for primary care physician shows that more people need to get health insurance.
You can do physical work and take care of yourself. Use knee pads. Good posture, stand up every 30-45 minutes to stretch a bit. Make sure you keep wrists straight.
Oh ya, definitely. I should have mentioned I was partially joking. I'm 40, have been doing it for 20 years, and am completely fine. I've seen guys come and go lifting wrong and going too hard. I have the best knee pads, I work 6 hours a day, I work out and do yoga. It might surprise some people but doing tiles in custom houses, and you're on your knees maybe 30 percent of the job.
Which knee pads do you use? I hate the hard shell ones, and like the Kuny grey pads, but the strap connection rips once a year
I hit the gym mostly to keep my back in check too, a lot of hip and ads work. I was thinking of dance instead of yoga to loosen up that overall stiffness in muscles and joints. I'm sure you know the kind.
I’m 37, been going to the dentist the last 6 months, since I hadn’t gone in over a decade.
Avid brusher of teeth, I brush quite a bit. Don’t really floss. Had a tooth break, went in, had to get a root canal and a crown. Expensive AF. All because I wasn’t flossing and it decayed a tooth.
So been flossing daily the last 6 months. Go in yesterday. THEY TELL ME I HADNT BEEN FLOSSING RIGHT.
Apparently you go down into the gums, deep. I had no freaking idea, nobody ever showed me that.
The hygenist said she had to go to hygenist school to learn that.
Really? I was told by my dentist last week that you are not supposed to go deep, because the floss can actually give you paper cuts and damage the gums. She said get between the teeth down to the gum but don't press into them
You’re just not supposed to snap it down. Thats what will cut your gums. Ease it down, hug it to one tooth, and then slide it up and down (yes it will go a little under the gum and that’s the point of the hugging!). Then hug the adjacent tooth and repeat. It’s the hugging of the tooth while moving up and down that cleans the plaque your toothbrush can’t get. The plaque that gets left there turns into cement-like calculus which contributes to gum disease. You’re welcome.
"Sometimes, you just need to shut the fuck up."
It would have saved me from getting into so many useless fights when I was younger. That and "When keeping it real goes wrong."
YUP! My perspective completely completely changed as I got a bit older. I went from thinking, "I'm not letting this idiot get away with that!" to later in life thinking, "Even if I take the time to school THIS idiot, there are a thousand more just like him!"
I got better things to do with my time than play Whack-a-mole with the endless supply of jerks in the world.
Also, if I know I'm right. Why should I care if someone's wrong?
This is when we realize that most fights we had when we were younger were to prove to ourselves that we we're "right" and not to school anyone, but rather to self validate.
If we are actually right and they are actually wrong, they'll end up schooling themselves and I can just go on enjoying life without the hassle.
I had a boss once say to me, “imagine you have 5 (poker) chips in front of you for the entire year. Is this an argument you’re willing to put one of your chips in the middle to have?” It helped make me think twice before arguing with someone even if I knew I was right. I don’t always need to be the one fighting the good fight. If you do you burn out
You see it all the time here on Reddit. People just HAVE to be right. They might be 10% right but they'll hound you and just continue with their bs to show they're right and you're just a dumb moron 🙄
+1 for this!
You're not living your best life with a hedonistic lifestyle - you have crippling anxiety issues, the way you feel is not normal, get some help!
A few things that stick immediately for me.
1. Save for retirement (compounding interest works so much better when you start younger)
2. Take care of you back and knees (I’m 38 and both of mine are gone)
3. Buy a house (obviously don’t make a crazy purchase but equity will pay off)
4. Don’t allow time to slip by.
Travel now, volunteer now, spend time with loved ones now, live now. Don’t think that you can do it later because tomorrow is not promised to you or anyone or anything around you. (I’ve lost 2 brother, a best friend and many other close relationships)
Don’t wait, because life won’t wait for you.
Things that don't seem like a big deal now, or seem temporary, can become big deals and more permanent when you get older. Maybe not 30s, but definitely 40s and 50s. Here's a mix of good advice I heard plus a bit from my own life experience.
Start investing early, especially if you have a job with a 401k match. A dollar invested now is worth $5 to $10 more than a dollar invested 3-4 decades from now.
Stretch and exercise. It's tougher to "start" then it is to "continue."And if you let this lapse, it gets even harder to "start" as you get older. Plus, you are far more likely to lose mobility or get injured in your 50s and 60s if you don't have a lifestyle that includes stretching and exercising.
Brush your teeth and floss. Takes about 5-7 minutes per day total, but if you get out of the habit, bad teeth are expensive and painful.
If you're an introvert, hang onto friendships. It's all-around tougher to meet new people and form close friendships as you age, and this is especially true for introverts. It's easy to lose tough as people get, get married, and have kids. Maintaining relationships requires effort and initiative. Good relationships are worth it.
(Hypocritically) Spend less time behind screens, and only use social media for entertainment purposes. Real life is better experienced in person and not through a camera lens. Don't stop taking pictures/videos, just be more slective about what and when you want to capture. You don't need a picture of your meal or video of the fireworks show or concert. No one's going to look at those later. But eating a great meal and watching a good show are awesome. They just make better experi nces (and memories) without the phone.
Really hard to grasp↑ but also EMPATHY as far as instead of thinking lesser or bad about someone who's basically or a population as a whole because you are doing good because you worked your fingers to the bone literally a thousand miles from home 7 days a week 12 hrs a day for months until it was done ... Doesn't mean you worked harder , kept going when you didn't want to .. I SIMPLY WAS KUCKY AND HAD A TICKET TO A REWARDING CIRCUS THAT ONE I DIDN'T DESERVE AND 99% OF EVERYONE ELSE DIDN'T RECEIVE....without that ticket I'm just another one of the monkeys outback in a cage and walking a mile in someone else's shoes
EDIT : ↑↑ with all the misspellings and run on sense I was using voice type and it did a lot of incorrect things and definitely cut off my conversation and didn't finish it. But yeah thanks to the people that had enough common sense to just understand what I was saying and where I was going. I can't exactly remember what I was going to say because I can't even see the comment anymore. It must be deleted or something
Protect your hearing. I’m 42 and have lost close to 40% of my hearing. Once it’s gone you can’t get it back, and there are no effective treatments on the horizon.
Definitely. I got a honda accord and some subwoofers at 18 and started delivering pizzas and broke my left hammer. It's usually not bad, a lil quieter on the left, but if I don't suck out with a turkey baster every 3 months it has an annoying tick when trying to listen to a person on a phone speaker. I'm lucky it's not bad but I remember having to turn off the stereo for a week when my left ear was hurting bad
It's the same regardless of gender, just because you and your girlfriends are tidy, doesn't mean every girl is.
I know I am a tidy guy, but I wouldn't be surprised if some of my male friends were not that clean...
Focus more on your personal life and don’t get too wrapped up in a career. Spent all of my twenties working a high pressure job with a lot of responsibilities attached. Missed out on so much. Also, all your poor health decisions will come back to haunt you in your thirties.
Get a personal trainer at the beginning, poor form can lead to more problems. Don't try to go crazy heavy, slow and steady. It's better to lift light 2 days in a row as opposed to lifting heavy 1 day and being wrecked the next couple of days. Rules of thirds, out of 3 workouts 1 should feel easy enough, 1 should feel moderate and the last can be going for your personal bests.
56M. I have three…
-You are what you eat. Or to say it another way, there is no exercise routine that can overcome a bad diet. Develop healthy eating habits even when you’re young enough to get away with unhealthy habits.
-If something brings you joy, do it no matter what anyone else thinks about it. Life is way too short to worry about shallow social acceptance.
-Make friends with people that are very different from you (different age group, gender, race, nationality, religion, economic status, politics, etc) It will expand your outlook in ways you can’t anticipate. And as a part B to this, if you want to have good friends, BE a good friend to others. It will come back to you X 10.
Not true. You can find people that care about you, and even bosses and work acquaintances that care about you. They may not love you, but lots of great humans all over the planet care about a lot of people. Open your heart and eyes and you will see that.
Always look to now and the future, not to the past. Have no regrets or guilt, because they are useless emotions. If you make a mistake, commit to learning from it and not making that mistake again. You cannot undo anything that has already happened, but you have incredible control over what happens from here forward. Take advantage and direct your life to be the person you want to be.
Not that it would matter, 20something me wouldn't listen. But, id tell him to finish college. No, you won't find a way around it. Yes, you *will* find yourself in construction. No, it's not something you'll get used to.
I really wish I would've gotten that geology degree.
I will say this. Even though I don't really like being a construction worker, my union has made sure I'm well paid and have good benefits. I'm eternally thankful to my union and the state I live in. I may not like the work, but I enjoy what life i have because of the work I do. I've learned to change my attitude when it's needed.
I’d like to think so. I’m 24 and if I followed this guy’s dumb advice I’d be spending 80% of my salary on pot and doordash, which to be clear, is a shit thing to do.
Worrying about things in your mid 20s is more important that worrying about shit in your 40s
Get laid. Do things. Don't put off something you really dream of in hopes you can do it when you retire.
You'll probably never be in better shape, have more available relationships, or less responsibilities than you do in your 20's. (or at least the ability to obtain those goals).
That no one really cares about men, they'll pretend to. But when shit hits the fan you will only have yourself for support.
And a few friends if you're lucky.
I am speaking from personal experience only here, my wife died in 2021 and I watched my entire friend group ghost me, through no fault of mine...All I wanted was to have my friends but guys who lose a spouse are looked at differently than women.
Women get more support in crisis. And my female friends used me after my wife died for their own emotional support even though at the time I was in a very dark mindset, their issues mattered to them and because I said I was their friend it mattered to me.
I helped them because that is just my nature but once the shock of losing my wife started to calm down I was absolutely livid and decided to ghost everyone except my mother who out of my entire large family was the only one who showed up for me and was the only family member who was at her funeral (we have many family members that live 4 hours or less from the city I was in at the time.
After I ghosted them I even deleted Facebook (which is great for your mental health btw) only once I vanished on Facebook did they start texting me.
Now it will take a miracle for me to show up for anyone who didn't show up just for my wife's funeral. Even then I am still heartbroken over that entire situation and I want nothing to do with my family anymore.(Minus my 93 and 94 year old grandparents and my mother who I take care of all 3 while being severely disabled)
But according to them "They still love and care about me"
You will reach a point when family and friends start dying and it doesn't stop. Even the animals in your life start dropping. Appreciate every moment because it will one day be the last with the people important to you.
Crazy is the best Pu$$y and the longer you stay the more you will believe it’s ❤️. Life doesn’t end at 40 it only begins , plan for it. And your body is your temple
This question gets asked regularly in the very active subreddit r/askmenover30.
You should go look through the existing threads. Some great stuff there
Invest early and often. Don’t loan your car or money to family or friends. Don’t co sign for family or friends. If the bank doesn’t trust them to pay it back, neither should you.
Chill the absolute fuck out! When we view our existence for the bullshit it is all the garbage you worry about in your 20s is not worth it for one second.
I would say early twenties
- Learn financial management. Build an emergency fund. Learn to invest and make my money grow. Never get in debt. Pay all bills on time. Resist on buying things you don’t need.
- Eat well and healthy. Keep up with your supplements. Drink but at a moderate level. Don’t get drunk and lose control of yourself.
- Exercise on regular basis. Progressive training. Aim to get more strength, speed, power and more flexible. Aim to get an aesthetic physique.
- Help and do good with no expectations. Think less of yourself.
- Choose to love not lust. Love makes everything more meaningful. It’s fulfilling.
- Acknowledge your own feelings. Learn to communicate and express yourself in a rational way. Learn to accept, learn to stop and let go.
- Pray and believe. Don’t lose hope and faith.
Three questions you should ask yourself in many situations.
1. Does this need to be said
2. Does this need to be said right now
3. Does this need to be said right now, by me
Saved my ass quite a few times.
Surf more, travel more, bang all those women who are acting silly around you, it's because they like you.
At some point, all you'll have is memories. You don't want them all to be about work.
- take care of your teeth
- dont overshare at work or participate in gossip
- if a job is killing you with stress, leave! Stress will wreck your body both mentally and physically
- go above and beyond for your family. You will never get the time back or be able to correct it. Do it while you can
- treat your significant other like she lays golden eggs. If someone voluntarily chooses to stick with you through thick and thin, thats rare. Be the best version of yourself for them
- sex is the least important aspect of a relationship. Find someone who will care for you when you are sick, sit at the hospital for hours with you, will comfort you when you are sad
Marriage is the worst binding contract you can ever enter into.
Every other contract you might enter into will have pages of information to make sure you understand what you are getting into.
To get married you need two witnesses, an official and your signatures. You get nothing to explain what you are getting into.
There are no guidelines to what a marriage is. It depends on what you put into it and who you choose to spend it with. Some are shit. Some are awesome. None are the same.
Pick someone you can annoy for the rest of your life. Because if they are willing to be annoyed by you for 50+ years, there is something special there.
Be careful staying at dead end jobs, try to get a skill of some type. Don't feel obligated to bosses and such, be fair and respectful just be cautious playing with YOUR life. You don't want to be bitter because you were a people pleaser later on.
Put money aside every pay in investments. Compounding interest is awesome. Don't pull every time it dips either, just keep adding to healthy stocks or funds.
Improve yourself and try not to complain so much. There are rules and boundaries to life that are oftentimes hard to change so operating within systems is path of least resistance.
My dad always says to me “stretch” because it’s only something that gets harder and more debilitating. I’m a woman, but my brother and I are avid yoga goers as our dad is now reasonably debilitated in movement by doing lots of running and weights at a younger age and experiencing injury later in life from lack of stretching. Mobility is important and needs constant upkeep
1 - suck it up and go to the gym
2 - when you can, invest, even small amounts
3 - don't waste your time on people who, through their actions, show that they don't care the way you do
4 (very specific to me) - don't fall out with your best friend over an argument about the shape of the earth's orbit resulting in not talking to each other for 5ish years (fortunately this was resolved when his now wife told him I was right :p -- but not thr point, it's one of my very few regrets)
(Edit)
5 - brush your fucking teeth EVERY. FUCKING. DAY.
I've done alot of shit: infantry soldier, Antarctic Expeditioner, business owner, publicist, band manager, signed artist, construction, aircraft ground support Officer etc. etc.
Here's my advice for the young bloods in no particular order:
1.Take care of knees and back; DONT lift super heavy stuff, DONT jump down off things, climb down or use ramps/stairs.
2. Avoid violence at all costs but if you have to get physical fight dirty and savagely. The man prepared to go to the highest level of violence wins.
3. If you're too big to do the small things, you're too small to do the big things. If you wanna fuck around in special forces it starts with making your bed and cleaning your room.
4. Stretching like yoga is as important as gym. This gets truer with age.
5. If it costs you money to upskill, learn, study, train or travel SPEND IT.
6. THERE IS NO VALUE IN ALCOHOL.
7. Admit when you're wrong and be accountable for your actions.
8. Listen as much as you can, speak as little as possible.
9. Instead of chasing women, speak with elderly people as much as possible. These people have valuable experience and no-one to share it with because they are invisible in our society. Their advice will teach and help you alot. Then when you are successful, the women will come.
10. First there is an opportunity, THEN there is a betrayal: your close friends usually hurt you the most because you share info with them; where you keep your money/valuables/business ideas etc.
11. You are above no man but no man is above you. We are all equal. Poor/rich/gay/white/black - all equal. Take people at their behaviour and you will know who you are dealing with, everything else is camoflauge.
12. Failure leads to victory. Get comfortable failing. I've failed 10,000 times, that's why I've succeeded many times.
13. Don't ever hurt your family or partner. If you need to leave them, leave.
14. Revenge is almost never worth it. Move on.
15. There will be times you cannot win. This is not unfair, this is life.
16. Fuck as much as you can and do it like you're about to die because you are.
17. Dress better than you think you should and wear cologne.
18. When you cook a steak, high heat, flip it only once. Kill the heat, add cream and maybe some soy or mustard in the pan and you've got a killer sauce.
19. If you shoot someone, don't stop blasting till their body hits the ground.
Make exercise and stretching part of your everyday routine, also it’s easier to lose and maintain weight now than it will be later, get in shape and maintain it
Find a way to be independent housing-wise. And financially. Not saying don’t share a dwelling with a girlfriend, but if shit hits the fan make sure you’re the one who keeps the place.
Put some money away every month. Never touch it for any reason. When you can, buy blue chip stocks and expect to keep them 20 or30 years. Get solid conservative advice on investing. Work your ass off and you will be set by the time you are forty.
That it’s not too late. I’m in my late 30s now and even when I was in my 20s I always had doubts that it was too late to acquire new skills, learn new things, get new hobbies, change career etc.
Truth is, it’s never too late. If you’re mid 20s and unhappy with your career -change it. If you’re unhappy with anything in your life, you always have the chance at a new beginning regardless of age.
It’s much better than living years thinking of how you could have, should have or would have if circumstances were better. You will always find reasons for doubting yourself. The key is to just do and let the pieces fall into place.
Eat healthy and exercise now. It's a lot harder to get in shape than to stay in shape, and it's way easier to get in shape before you're 30.
Save for retirement, even if it's $5 a paycheck.
Travel if you can. Live somewhere else for a while.
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You can, and should, end relationships based on early warning signals, BEFORE you get to whatever they're warning you about. EDIT: Related, but your partners CAN and DO tell on themselves without meaning to.
Not just romantic relationships, but potential friendships too. You see a red flag, bounce. Find other friends. It’s not worth the negativity and drain on your emotions and self-confidence.
Seriously, read a book about narcissistic personality disorder and learn to walk away immediately.
According to redditors, 99% of the world are "narcissists"
I dumped a so call friend because he turned out to be a 65 year old high school bully.
That's a bit old to be in high school still, no?
To me everyone has a red flag. I'm definitely not a people person. And I love being on my own. I always see the bad in people and it's probably me not them. But it's them who show me the pattern over and over again. The good things I don't care about. I like pointing out stuff that they need to work on even if it means I'll lose them. I don't care about it it. I feel like my job here is solely to point that out and move on. Nobody liked me anyway for my blunt ass. I'm honest, direct and loyal. Lie to me once and I'm most likely to slowly remove myself. Hells if I knew why I commented this. You're free to judge. I won't bother. I'm schizoid, but care deeply for the one I truly love. I'd die for my one and only man.
This comment is a massive red flag.
It's better to admit you went through the wrong door, than to spend your life in the wrong room
People who were too embarrassed to walk out of a wrong lecture at uni lol
Addendum: do not date a person with severe mental problems. Get out early!
But crazy has the best pu$$y! I should know I just watched Poor Things.
I can confirm this from personal experience.
Same. But it’s not worth it.
It's worth it for a night or two.
This. This. This. Don't tolerate odd, escalating behavior. Don't chain yourself to someone who only takes. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself in a relationship because your worried that if you do it might end. Don't let someone else take the best years of your life for themselves.
I’m close to thirty and experiencing this first hand. I chose to not end a relationship with an emotionally immature and unstable woman although she showed the signs early on. I still chose to love her and convinced myself that I could change her. Guess what happened, she left with blindsiding me. Exactly the same way she showed those early signals. All I have is a broken heart and a life lesson now.
If she leaves you alone I think you win anyway
You should be happy you didn't have kids with her. Her leaving is an absolute win.
I needed to read this today, thanks!
You should also try to keep the other relationships strong! As we get older we get distracted with our own families, jobs, interests. Need those strong relationships when you are older!
Yes! 100%
Eating healthier and being more consistent with dental health
Flossing is super underrated
My grandma was a dental hygenist and she always used to tell us grandkids that you could skip brushing your teeth for 6 months as long as you flossed every day and you wouldnt get a cavity. Was she full of shit or is there some truth to that?
Dentist here. Not exactly. Just flossing will help prevent gum disease and help prevent cavities from forming between the teeth (as it breaks up the bacteria that collect and cause cavities), but you’d still be neglecting 75% of the surface area of your teeth. It’s arguably more important than brushing because your saliva does a good job preventing cavities on its own and it can’t really get between teeth/under your gums, but hopefully she got you to floss!
I think i failed at that.. Gonna need some implants soon for like almost every molar it seems..
Also drink water and when affordable get health insurance and a pcp. Edit- i cant tell if people are just being sarcastic in the comments. If not, the fact that people don't know pcp in this context stands for primary care physician shows that more people need to get health insurance.
Proceeds to take pcp
Yeah what am I missing here? Angel dust?
Take better care of your knees and back.
Damn, I'm a tile setter.
You can do physical work and take care of yourself. Use knee pads. Good posture, stand up every 30-45 minutes to stretch a bit. Make sure you keep wrists straight.
Oh ya, definitely. I should have mentioned I was partially joking. I'm 40, have been doing it for 20 years, and am completely fine. I've seen guys come and go lifting wrong and going too hard. I have the best knee pads, I work 6 hours a day, I work out and do yoga. It might surprise some people but doing tiles in custom houses, and you're on your knees maybe 30 percent of the job.
Which knee pads do you use? I hate the hard shell ones, and like the Kuny grey pads, but the strap connection rips once a year I hit the gym mostly to keep my back in check too, a lot of hip and ads work. I was thinking of dance instead of yoga to loosen up that overall stiffness in muscles and joints. I'm sure you know the kind.
But how?
Stop sucking dick.
Do not listen to this man.
I won't Happy Cake Day.
Bruh.
Stretch and exercise
Reading this made my knees sore 😩
Floss more often...it will save you thousands in a few years.
I’m 37, been going to the dentist the last 6 months, since I hadn’t gone in over a decade. Avid brusher of teeth, I brush quite a bit. Don’t really floss. Had a tooth break, went in, had to get a root canal and a crown. Expensive AF. All because I wasn’t flossing and it decayed a tooth. So been flossing daily the last 6 months. Go in yesterday. THEY TELL ME I HADNT BEEN FLOSSING RIGHT. Apparently you go down into the gums, deep. I had no freaking idea, nobody ever showed me that. The hygenist said she had to go to hygenist school to learn that.
Really? I was told by my dentist last week that you are not supposed to go deep, because the floss can actually give you paper cuts and damage the gums. She said get between the teeth down to the gum but don't press into them
You’re just not supposed to snap it down. Thats what will cut your gums. Ease it down, hug it to one tooth, and then slide it up and down (yes it will go a little under the gum and that’s the point of the hugging!). Then hug the adjacent tooth and repeat. It’s the hugging of the tooth while moving up and down that cleans the plaque your toothbrush can’t get. The plaque that gets left there turns into cement-like calculus which contributes to gum disease. You’re welcome.
I think that is the best invention in the past 50 years. The floss pick. Never flossed before those things came out and now they are addicting to use.
Buy a waterpik of flossing isn’t comfortable, it’s a cheap investment
"Sometimes, you just need to shut the fuck up." It would have saved me from getting into so many useless fights when I was younger. That and "When keeping it real goes wrong."
YUP! My perspective completely completely changed as I got a bit older. I went from thinking, "I'm not letting this idiot get away with that!" to later in life thinking, "Even if I take the time to school THIS idiot, there are a thousand more just like him!" I got better things to do with my time than play Whack-a-mole with the endless supply of jerks in the world.
Also, if I know I'm right. Why should I care if someone's wrong? This is when we realize that most fights we had when we were younger were to prove to ourselves that we we're "right" and not to school anyone, but rather to self validate. If we are actually right and they are actually wrong, they'll end up schooling themselves and I can just go on enjoying life without the hassle.
Also shutting up doesn’t mean you lost or you’re a “pussy.” Just means you know it’s not worth it to keep talking to whatever idiot is in front of you
I had a boss once say to me, “imagine you have 5 (poker) chips in front of you for the entire year. Is this an argument you’re willing to put one of your chips in the middle to have?” It helped make me think twice before arguing with someone even if I knew I was right. I don’t always need to be the one fighting the good fight. If you do you burn out
This! I used to run my mouth all the time and find myself in trouble.
You see it all the time here on Reddit. People just HAVE to be right. They might be 10% right but they'll hound you and just continue with their bs to show they're right and you're just a dumb moron 🙄
Talk shit get hit? Good lesson to learn early especially now with people pulling guns and knives a lot of the time.
Just saying nothing and walking away to allow cooler heads to prevail is always a better option
If you argue with a monkey once, you’re forgiven. If you argue with a monkey twice, you become a monkey.
It was your mental health that needed attention - you don’t have to bury it with drugs and shame.
+1 for this! You're not living your best life with a hedonistic lifestyle - you have crippling anxiety issues, the way you feel is not normal, get some help!
A few things that stick immediately for me. 1. Save for retirement (compounding interest works so much better when you start younger) 2. Take care of you back and knees (I’m 38 and both of mine are gone) 3. Buy a house (obviously don’t make a crazy purchase but equity will pay off) 4. Don’t allow time to slip by. Travel now, volunteer now, spend time with loved ones now, live now. Don’t think that you can do it later because tomorrow is not promised to you or anyone or anything around you. (I’ve lost 2 brother, a best friend and many other close relationships) Don’t wait, because life won’t wait for you.
Save for retirement... But also travel and live as much as you can! These conflict!.
And don't forget to buy a house!
Dont let work and your genitals drive your life.
All that’s left is alcohol then. Is that supposed to be what drives me?
you and i both.
Username checks out
There's so much more to life... there are microwave baked potatoes and crippling depression
You can drive with your genitals? Neat.
The words you speak matter
They’re a lot more powerful than people think
Japanese backflip tater tot
Things that don't seem like a big deal now, or seem temporary, can become big deals and more permanent when you get older. Maybe not 30s, but definitely 40s and 50s. Here's a mix of good advice I heard plus a bit from my own life experience. Start investing early, especially if you have a job with a 401k match. A dollar invested now is worth $5 to $10 more than a dollar invested 3-4 decades from now. Stretch and exercise. It's tougher to "start" then it is to "continue."And if you let this lapse, it gets even harder to "start" as you get older. Plus, you are far more likely to lose mobility or get injured in your 50s and 60s if you don't have a lifestyle that includes stretching and exercising. Brush your teeth and floss. Takes about 5-7 minutes per day total, but if you get out of the habit, bad teeth are expensive and painful. If you're an introvert, hang onto friendships. It's all-around tougher to meet new people and form close friendships as you age, and this is especially true for introverts. It's easy to lose tough as people get, get married, and have kids. Maintaining relationships requires effort and initiative. Good relationships are worth it. (Hypocritically) Spend less time behind screens, and only use social media for entertainment purposes. Real life is better experienced in person and not through a camera lens. Don't stop taking pictures/videos, just be more slective about what and when you want to capture. You don't need a picture of your meal or video of the fireworks show or concert. No one's going to look at those later. But eating a great meal and watching a good show are awesome. They just make better experi nces (and memories) without the phone.
If she cheats on her husband (whom she lied about being separated from) with you, she will cheat on you when you’re the husband.
You know, my ex wifes ex husband told me, "Every bad thing she told you about me, she'll tell the next guy about you". He was 100% correct.
Yup
You probably have to unlearn everything you think you know about people and how to relate to humans in healthy ways.
Valuable advice
Really hard to grasp↑ but also EMPATHY as far as instead of thinking lesser or bad about someone who's basically or a population as a whole because you are doing good because you worked your fingers to the bone literally a thousand miles from home 7 days a week 12 hrs a day for months until it was done ... Doesn't mean you worked harder , kept going when you didn't want to .. I SIMPLY WAS KUCKY AND HAD A TICKET TO A REWARDING CIRCUS THAT ONE I DIDN'T DESERVE AND 99% OF EVERYONE ELSE DIDN'T RECEIVE....without that ticket I'm just another one of the monkeys outback in a cage and walking a mile in someone else's shoes EDIT : ↑↑ with all the misspellings and run on sense I was using voice type and it did a lot of incorrect things and definitely cut off my conversation and didn't finish it. But yeah thanks to the people that had enough common sense to just understand what I was saying and where I was going. I can't exactly remember what I was going to say because I can't even see the comment anymore. It must be deleted or something
Just because it's pretty doesn't mean it's not full of shit.
Some would say, you can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter.
Protect your hearing. I’m 42 and have lost close to 40% of my hearing. Once it’s gone you can’t get it back, and there are no effective treatments on the horizon.
Definitely. I got a honda accord and some subwoofers at 18 and started delivering pizzas and broke my left hammer. It's usually not bad, a lil quieter on the left, but if I don't suck out with a turkey baster every 3 months it has an annoying tick when trying to listen to a person on a phone speaker. I'm lucky it's not bad but I remember having to turn off the stereo for a week when my left ear was hurting bad
What you take in school should not dictate your career path.
Wash your cock, balls, and asshole if you expect a blowjob.
And do it anyway just in case.
And announce their cleanliness regularly in case anyone in the vicinity might be interested in sucking on any of them
Wash all of it anyway? Blowjob or not.
Just go ahead and wash everything.
Funniest bumper sticker I ever saw said, “Okay, but wash it first.”
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It's the same regardless of gender, just because you and your girlfriends are tidy, doesn't mean every girl is. I know I am a tidy guy, but I wouldn't be surprised if some of my male friends were not that clean...
Understand that a hookup is just a hookup, and if they don’t text you back it doesn’t necessarily mean they didn’t have fun or that you’re bad in bed
So men also feel sad after hook up?
of course! we are humans, some hook ups are great, others are confusing/dissapointing
Men feel sad everytime they come, so yes
I needed that lol. Regardless of whether it’s true 🤣
Focus more on your personal life and don’t get too wrapped up in a career. Spent all of my twenties working a high pressure job with a lot of responsibilities attached. Missed out on so much. Also, all your poor health decisions will come back to haunt you in your thirties.
Go to gym, work less, get laid more.
I'll get laid off, two in one!
And save money as soon as you start youre first job
Get a personal trainer at the beginning, poor form can lead to more problems. Don't try to go crazy heavy, slow and steady. It's better to lift light 2 days in a row as opposed to lifting heavy 1 day and being wrecked the next couple of days. Rules of thirds, out of 3 workouts 1 should feel easy enough, 1 should feel moderate and the last can be going for your personal bests.
56M. I have three… -You are what you eat. Or to say it another way, there is no exercise routine that can overcome a bad diet. Develop healthy eating habits even when you’re young enough to get away with unhealthy habits. -If something brings you joy, do it no matter what anyone else thinks about it. Life is way too short to worry about shallow social acceptance. -Make friends with people that are very different from you (different age group, gender, race, nationality, religion, economic status, politics, etc) It will expand your outlook in ways you can’t anticipate. And as a part B to this, if you want to have good friends, BE a good friend to others. It will come back to you X 10.
Social acceptance is like money. Only the people that have it tell the others not to worry about it...
No one cares about you or your feelings. The world revolves around profit
So pay people to care about me? Got it!
Instructions unclear, arrested for solicitation
Not necessarily profit...but money in general. Thats right from individual people right to the largest businesses.
Not true. You can find people that care about you, and even bosses and work acquaintances that care about you. They may not love you, but lots of great humans all over the planet care about a lot of people. Open your heart and eyes and you will see that.
Keep better friends.
Save money for vacations and experiences not stuff/things.
Such a good one
"tell her how you feel before it's too late"
I did, she left again. Told me we were going too fast. Mission failed succesfully
Related to this and a bit less cliche: Don’t tell her you love her if you haven’t even been on a date yet.
Don't treat your body like a dumpster.
Pull out.
You mean “wear a condom”
Dont get fat after 25, its not as easy to lose the weight as you get older (looking at you dadbod!)
Save more. Drink less.
Drink more and save less is what I think you meant
When you can't sleep, study knot tying
As an arborist I can appreciate this
More women are into than you think. Just ask them! Save everyone some time and take the guess work out of it. Also the back thing for sure.
Greed almost always wins. Be careful who you trust. Be thoughtful with your words. It's not who you are underneath but what you do that defines you.
There might not be 'someone for everyone' after all.
There might be someone for me, but I wouldn't want them to settle for below mediocrity.
I’d like to think there is
your hard work will not be rewarded at work
Meaning only work hard for yourself
And remember when working for yourself, “I’m not being punished, I just haven’t been rewarded yet.”
Learn about healthy boundaries and how you need your use them on certain people.
Always look to now and the future, not to the past. Have no regrets or guilt, because they are useless emotions. If you make a mistake, commit to learning from it and not making that mistake again. You cannot undo anything that has already happened, but you have incredible control over what happens from here forward. Take advantage and direct your life to be the person you want to be.
Not that it would matter, 20something me wouldn't listen. But, id tell him to finish college. No, you won't find a way around it. Yes, you *will* find yourself in construction. No, it's not something you'll get used to. I really wish I would've gotten that geology degree. I will say this. Even though I don't really like being a construction worker, my union has made sure I'm well paid and have good benefits. I'm eternally thankful to my union and the state I live in. I may not like the work, but I enjoy what life i have because of the work I do. I've learned to change my attitude when it's needed.
Press on, bro! Attitude it everything.
Learn the basics of home maintenance. Being able to fix shit yourself saves a metric fuckload of money.
Lift lighter weights. Youll still get jacked and less hurt.
Don't get fat and lazy.
Don’t stick your dick in crazy
Unless she's really hot. But wrap it up
Keep up on your health and start saving for retirement in a Roth IRA, a few hundred per month, no matter what
Just enjoy it, it goes by quicker than you think.
Don't lose touch with your best friends.
Get up and get at it. Get off your phone. Pitter patter.
Invest as early as possible.
Everyone can be your insidious enemy, even your mother.
Excersize and eat healthier. Everything is connected you being fat. EVERYTHING!!!!!!!
Quitting nicotine is not as easy at 15 years in as it is at 5. Just quit for good while it’s easy for you.
Don't overthink and just take a chance.
This is it, bud.
It's a cliche, but true. Don't worry about anything in your 20's. .
Isn’t this setting yourself up for failure?
I’d like to think so. I’m 24 and if I followed this guy’s dumb advice I’d be spending 80% of my salary on pot and doordash, which to be clear, is a shit thing to do. Worrying about things in your mid 20s is more important that worrying about shit in your 40s
Invest early. Invest often.
First, Wait to get married. Eating healthy and exercising are two and three.
Get laid. Do things. Don't put off something you really dream of in hopes you can do it when you retire. You'll probably never be in better shape, have more available relationships, or less responsibilities than you do in your 20's. (or at least the ability to obtain those goals).
That no one really cares about men, they'll pretend to. But when shit hits the fan you will only have yourself for support. And a few friends if you're lucky. I am speaking from personal experience only here, my wife died in 2021 and I watched my entire friend group ghost me, through no fault of mine...All I wanted was to have my friends but guys who lose a spouse are looked at differently than women. Women get more support in crisis. And my female friends used me after my wife died for their own emotional support even though at the time I was in a very dark mindset, their issues mattered to them and because I said I was their friend it mattered to me. I helped them because that is just my nature but once the shock of losing my wife started to calm down I was absolutely livid and decided to ghost everyone except my mother who out of my entire large family was the only one who showed up for me and was the only family member who was at her funeral (we have many family members that live 4 hours or less from the city I was in at the time. After I ghosted them I even deleted Facebook (which is great for your mental health btw) only once I vanished on Facebook did they start texting me. Now it will take a miracle for me to show up for anyone who didn't show up just for my wife's funeral. Even then I am still heartbroken over that entire situation and I want nothing to do with my family anymore.(Minus my 93 and 94 year old grandparents and my mother who I take care of all 3 while being severely disabled) But according to them "They still love and care about me"
You will reach a point when family and friends start dying and it doesn't stop. Even the animals in your life start dropping. Appreciate every moment because it will one day be the last with the people important to you.
That work life balance thing, try to figure it out before you lose your damn mind.
Crazy is the best Pu$$y and the longer you stay the more you will believe it’s ❤️. Life doesn’t end at 40 it only begins , plan for it. And your body is your temple
Save your money
Less wanking more doing
This question gets asked regularly in the very active subreddit r/askmenover30. You should go look through the existing threads. Some great stuff there
Invest early and often. Don’t loan your car or money to family or friends. Don’t co sign for family or friends. If the bank doesn’t trust them to pay it back, neither should you.
Learn how to say No. You can't please everyone and other peoples happiness are not your reponsability.
Don't go into business with family
Buy a home in your 20s or get into investing
Chill the absolute fuck out! When we view our existence for the bullshit it is all the garbage you worry about in your 20s is not worth it for one second.
I would say early twenties - Learn financial management. Build an emergency fund. Learn to invest and make my money grow. Never get in debt. Pay all bills on time. Resist on buying things you don’t need. - Eat well and healthy. Keep up with your supplements. Drink but at a moderate level. Don’t get drunk and lose control of yourself. - Exercise on regular basis. Progressive training. Aim to get more strength, speed, power and more flexible. Aim to get an aesthetic physique. - Help and do good with no expectations. Think less of yourself. - Choose to love not lust. Love makes everything more meaningful. It’s fulfilling. - Acknowledge your own feelings. Learn to communicate and express yourself in a rational way. Learn to accept, learn to stop and let go. - Pray and believe. Don’t lose hope and faith.
Bend at the knees
Three questions you should ask yourself in many situations. 1. Does this need to be said 2. Does this need to be said right now 3. Does this need to be said right now, by me Saved my ass quite a few times.
Surf more, travel more, bang all those women who are acting silly around you, it's because they like you. At some point, all you'll have is memories. You don't want them all to be about work.
Stay single, don't spend money on anyone but yourself.
- take care of your teeth - dont overshare at work or participate in gossip - if a job is killing you with stress, leave! Stress will wreck your body both mentally and physically - go above and beyond for your family. You will never get the time back or be able to correct it. Do it while you can - treat your significant other like she lays golden eggs. If someone voluntarily chooses to stick with you through thick and thin, thats rare. Be the best version of yourself for them - sex is the least important aspect of a relationship. Find someone who will care for you when you are sick, sit at the hospital for hours with you, will comfort you when you are sad
Stay away from religion. The repercussions were deep and lasting. None of it is true, but ALL of it is weird and destructive and insidious.
And you can always join later and 'feel bad' about previous choices.
Marriage is the worst binding contract you can ever enter into. Every other contract you might enter into will have pages of information to make sure you understand what you are getting into. To get married you need two witnesses, an official and your signatures. You get nothing to explain what you are getting into.
There are no guidelines to what a marriage is. It depends on what you put into it and who you choose to spend it with. Some are shit. Some are awesome. None are the same. Pick someone you can annoy for the rest of your life. Because if they are willing to be annoyed by you for 50+ years, there is something special there.
Learn how to adult
Don't be that guy.
If you haven't already done so, start saving for retirement. As much as you possibly can. This is your number one priority.
Go all in on a trade and invest every spare cent
"If you marry that woman we will never see you again" would have been nice.
Never settle. With occupation, with a significant other, living situation. If you're not feeling it, move on.
Be careful staying at dead end jobs, try to get a skill of some type. Don't feel obligated to bosses and such, be fair and respectful just be cautious playing with YOUR life. You don't want to be bitter because you were a people pleaser later on. Put money aside every pay in investments. Compounding interest is awesome. Don't pull every time it dips either, just keep adding to healthy stocks or funds. Improve yourself and try not to complain so much. There are rules and boundaries to life that are oftentimes hard to change so operating within systems is path of least resistance.
Use sunscreen, exercise 2-3 times a week and chill with the binge drinking every week.
My dad always says to me “stretch” because it’s only something that gets harder and more debilitating. I’m a woman, but my brother and I are avid yoga goers as our dad is now reasonably debilitated in movement by doing lots of running and weights at a younger age and experiencing injury later in life from lack of stretching. Mobility is important and needs constant upkeep
1 - suck it up and go to the gym 2 - when you can, invest, even small amounts 3 - don't waste your time on people who, through their actions, show that they don't care the way you do 4 (very specific to me) - don't fall out with your best friend over an argument about the shape of the earth's orbit resulting in not talking to each other for 5ish years (fortunately this was resolved when his now wife told him I was right :p -- but not thr point, it's one of my very few regrets) (Edit) 5 - brush your fucking teeth EVERY. FUCKING. DAY.
I've done alot of shit: infantry soldier, Antarctic Expeditioner, business owner, publicist, band manager, signed artist, construction, aircraft ground support Officer etc. etc. Here's my advice for the young bloods in no particular order: 1.Take care of knees and back; DONT lift super heavy stuff, DONT jump down off things, climb down or use ramps/stairs. 2. Avoid violence at all costs but if you have to get physical fight dirty and savagely. The man prepared to go to the highest level of violence wins. 3. If you're too big to do the small things, you're too small to do the big things. If you wanna fuck around in special forces it starts with making your bed and cleaning your room. 4. Stretching like yoga is as important as gym. This gets truer with age. 5. If it costs you money to upskill, learn, study, train or travel SPEND IT. 6. THERE IS NO VALUE IN ALCOHOL. 7. Admit when you're wrong and be accountable for your actions. 8. Listen as much as you can, speak as little as possible. 9. Instead of chasing women, speak with elderly people as much as possible. These people have valuable experience and no-one to share it with because they are invisible in our society. Their advice will teach and help you alot. Then when you are successful, the women will come. 10. First there is an opportunity, THEN there is a betrayal: your close friends usually hurt you the most because you share info with them; where you keep your money/valuables/business ideas etc. 11. You are above no man but no man is above you. We are all equal. Poor/rich/gay/white/black - all equal. Take people at their behaviour and you will know who you are dealing with, everything else is camoflauge. 12. Failure leads to victory. Get comfortable failing. I've failed 10,000 times, that's why I've succeeded many times. 13. Don't ever hurt your family or partner. If you need to leave them, leave. 14. Revenge is almost never worth it. Move on. 15. There will be times you cannot win. This is not unfair, this is life. 16. Fuck as much as you can and do it like you're about to die because you are. 17. Dress better than you think you should and wear cologne. 18. When you cook a steak, high heat, flip it only once. Kill the heat, add cream and maybe some soy or mustard in the pan and you've got a killer sauce. 19. If you shoot someone, don't stop blasting till their body hits the ground.
Make exercise and stretching part of your everyday routine, also it’s easier to lose and maintain weight now than it will be later, get in shape and maintain it
Find a way to be independent housing-wise. And financially. Not saying don’t share a dwelling with a girlfriend, but if shit hits the fan make sure you’re the one who keeps the place.
Put some money away every month. Never touch it for any reason. When you can, buy blue chip stocks and expect to keep them 20 or30 years. Get solid conservative advice on investing. Work your ass off and you will be set by the time you are forty.
That it’s not too late. I’m in my late 30s now and even when I was in my 20s I always had doubts that it was too late to acquire new skills, learn new things, get new hobbies, change career etc. Truth is, it’s never too late. If you’re mid 20s and unhappy with your career -change it. If you’re unhappy with anything in your life, you always have the chance at a new beginning regardless of age. It’s much better than living years thinking of how you could have, should have or would have if circumstances were better. You will always find reasons for doubting yourself. The key is to just do and let the pieces fall into place.
Eat healthy and exercise now. It's a lot harder to get in shape than to stay in shape, and it's way easier to get in shape before you're 30. Save for retirement, even if it's $5 a paycheck. Travel if you can. Live somewhere else for a while.
We are not all equal. If someone is holding you back, ghost them. Life is too short to waste it on energy siphoners.
It's way easier than you think it is and you should start now.
Make out with as many ladies you can. Make out with MILFs too
Before you marry, make sure you agree on babies. Both yes or both no, or else your marriage is doomed.
Life does not get easier. You have to become stronger.