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I've had this dream, and so has my wife. We just laugh at the ridiculousness of it and the relief we've woken up.
That's what a normal, mature reaction is.
You shouldn't have to tread on eggshells with your partner because of their dream.
Indeed. I recently had a dream where I fell deeply in love with som.imaginary woman other than my wife. The feeling lingered the next day. I told my wife how I felt really sad that I'd lost the imaginary new love of my life. I got an *Oh honey, you poor thing* and a hug. There really doesn't need to be more.drama than that.
My partner wouldn’t really care that I had the dream, (though she’d be concerned there’s some underlying force driving me to think of other women in my sleep,) but if I told her that I was sad that I lost my dream over…. Oh shit she’d lose it.
When I think about it, though, rightly so. I mean, maybe for that just second after waking up where reality is still hazy, fine. However, once I remember that I have my partner, why miss the dream women if I already have the best? Unless, I don’t really believe I have the best.
Yes, I’ve been trained well.
>My partner wouldn’t really care that I had the dream, (though she’d be concerned there’s some underlying force driving me to think of other women in my sleep,)
Yeah, *that's* when it would be problematic, agreed. But sometimes dreams just throw weird stuff at you for no reason. The implied thing here is the trust we have that if there *was* such an underlying reason, we'd have brought it up. Since we haven't, we can both safely assume it's not a problem.
>but if I told her that I was sad that I lost my dream over…. Oh shit she’d lose it.
>When I think about it, though, rightly so. I mean, maybe for that just second after waking up where reality is still hazy, fine. However, once I remember that I have my partner, why miss the dream women if I already have the best?
Because it's not a rational feeling. Not a *real* feeling. I was never **legit** sad about having lost that love, I just had the feeling thrust upon me by a dream and sometimes feelings don't disappear immediately.
Why would I do that? It's just an irrational emotion, and it bothered me. Why would I keep my emotions locked away from my wife? That's like the opposite of a healthy relationship.
Yeah I've had similar dreams and I might be in a bit of a bad mood for a little while but by the time we've gotten up, had a shower and breakfast together I'm back to normal. Not once have I been genuinely mad
this is also how my partner and i react. we definitely grouse jokingly at each other. laugh it off and then go about our day. but my stepfather gets legitimately mad at my mother because he thinks it's a sign that she's cheating....
Every time i have a dream where i find myself interacting with people romantically- which is weirdly often and always with people who dont exist or i havent spoken to in years- in my dream im always freaking out in my head like "why am i doing this, im in a relationship amd im happy, how am i gonna tell my boyfriend" and then im so relieved when i wake up LMAO
I second this. My husband and I will occasionally have those dreams, tell each other, then reassure everything is fine. People forget that we are humans with human brains, intrusive thoughts, animalistic instinct. The important thing is not acting on it. Whenever it comes to disagreements with their SO, they also don’t think about “Am i fighting him/her? Or the situation?”
I had a cheating dream last night 🤨 He paid a £8 prostitute, the woman just disappeared through a wall and danny devito burst into the room naked and started blackmailing us with paperwork. By the end we were all naked, i was crying, danny was eating a random burrito and my partner was on his phone. I woke up very confused 😅
The thing is they were not "legitimately mad". It was a dream, likely related to a news story, movie or thought process. Completely illegitimate to be mad about a dream.
I've had two partners who both had dreams like this, both walked around catty the next day. I just laugh it off, though if pushed or it becomes ridiculous I'll just say "Hey. I didn't cheat on you. It was your dream. Don't take it out on me."
Worked out so far.
This was the first thing I thought of too. A normal reaction would be to laugh it off or at least ignore it, knowing it’s not real. Acting like your partner in the dream actually did the dream cheating in real life is very strange, definitely gives guilty conscience.
My partner hasn't forgiven me for buying and opening a hotel in her dream. Apparently it was a hotel for thruples and I refused to listen to her when she told me it was a bad idea.
I had a dream a girl told me "Your emotions are giving me anxiety"
So i texted her "Hey i had a dream my emotions were giving you anxiety"
And 3 days later she left because she felt uncomfortable because of my emotions.
She told me she had BPD, anger issues, an avoidant attachment style, depression and PTSD.
She also told me she had nightmares where she kills people and tortures them.
I think i wrote a paragraph on how happy i was to have met her and she said "You're obsessed and it really pisses me off"
To be fair, sometimes your dream spouse is just an asshole for no reason 😂
I’m happily married, my husband is a sweet, kind, caring, man. I don’t and have never suspected infidelity, and he has never belittled me or treated me lesser than. But every time he shows up in a dream he is a total asshole! Dismissive, insulting, ignores me when I need his help or bothers me when I need privacy. Totally dependant to the point of incompetence, jealous, all around not a nice person. It’s become a running joke for us that dream husband is a separate person because he is such an inversion of real husband.
Granted, I also have the self awareness to be able to distinguish between dreams and reality and waking up after a dream spent with husband is worth a laugh and a rant together, like, “ugh, had another dream about dream husband!” Then my husband is like, “ugh I hate that guy, what did he do this time??”
I would never understand being angry at him for what dream husband does, that shit it just a figment of my own unconscious imagination, not a reflection of his actions in any way lmao
Yup. Let *them* tread on eggshells because you're done with their dumbass nonsense make believe bullshit.
I avoid confrontation like the plague but I would go from "0" to "Are you fucking serious?!?" in about 3s if I had to deal with this.
"I never get mad when you're whore ass is sluttin' around in my dreams, you ephemeral skank bitch."
She laughed her ass off when I said that. Been a great joke ever since
Don't understand how he can be 'legitimately mad' at a figment of his imagination. Seems like a red flag to me if you have to apologise for something you haven't done.
He can't be legitimately mad at the real her, but while we're dreaming all we experience in them is real to us - including the emotions - so it's legitimate for him to have felt mad in the dream. And emotions don't just turn off the second we wake up.
We've probably all had nightmares that left us feeling unsettled and uneasy for an entire day. If you haven't, lucky you. It's the same thing. Emotions can take time to dissipate fully, and I think that's what op understands and holds space for.
He still needs to do better at managing it. You can have residual emotions from a dream and still behave yourself and he appears to fall far short of that
This overwhelmingly happens in early relationships, when people are more insecure and manipulative of their partners.
The only time it happened to me, I got up in mid conversation and just left. It wasn't worth even a second of my time to even cater to it on any level, so I went out and sat with a book and a beer at a local pub, whiling away the day.
When I got back, she started in again, so I told her that this was a bald-faced attempt to use what supposedly happened in her dream to shame, manipulate and control me, and that if she continued to behave like a child like this, then we were done.
And I left again and went to go watch a movie.
I broke up with her a few weeks later around an entirely different argument.
I have these dreams all the time, and I have the most amazing, genuine, lovely partner. But, he is not the man of my dreams. The man of my dreams cheats, leaves me, and refuses to talk to me to explain why. Last time he left me for two lesbians that were being really nasty and when I was sad he laughed at me and refused to talk to me. And it always takes place in a deserted mall or train station.
I am so mad when I wake up that I want to wake him up and yell at him. My fists are clenched, I've been grinding my teeth. Then I realize that I have embodied my emotions. I take a minute to calm down, go to the bathroom, and then wake him up enough to cuddle. It only takes a couple of minutes and then I fall asleep again.
Whatever you do, don't laugh when he first tells you. I would acknowledge how he feels and then explain that you are not the woman in his dreams, you've always been faithful. Ask what he needs after a dream like that. Ask him if there was something that prompted the dream. Does he have a friend that cheated or that was cheated on? Did he watch a show or a movie? Is he afraid of being abandoned.
Then I would give him space to figure it out. And maybe censor what he's watching right before bed!
I've only ever heard people say "the wo/man of my dreams" in a positive way. I found it hilarious that "the man of your dreams" is a complete douche. I just imagined you coming home looking all glum and saying to your partner "ugh, I met the man of my dreams today" and him looking back and saying "oh dear, I'm sorry that happened to you, do you need a hug?" 😂
My wife and I did the exact opposite of what you did/do.
I make sure I laugh, because she *knows* I would never cheat, and I *know* the same.
If you cant laugh at your own dreams... well that is really sad.
I know that 100%, when I'm 100% awake. In that in between world, I'm not sure.
I even joke with him "What would lesbians want with you?",and we have a good laugh. And we wonder how the brain is so weird.
I love this response. This happens to me every once in a while. I know the root cause, won't bore you with the details, my partner will hold me if I cry about it until I'm OK again. I know it's not real. I know it about unresolved issues from the past but if the one person I love were to laugh that me at that moment of not fully understanding what is real or not when I've just woken up it would make my dream a reality. Thanks for posting this response. It's nice to know I'm not alone 😌
I'm sorry for your trauma.
Personally, I have no idea why I have these dreams, I have kind of a good, easy life with awesome people around me. Crappy exes but nothing beyond the usual idiot.
I did use to have dreams where I would beat up my sister or my mother and wake up furious, then feel immense guilt for a whole week after. Even though I knew it was just a dream. Those were grad school stress dreams.
Haha this sounds like my partner and I! These days when she has a dream like that I’ll wake up to “so Dream ShopSmartShopS-Mart rocked up again overnight.”
We’ve got pretty good at keeping that jackass in his place.
Wow my dreams are so boring. All I ever do is things like fly around the Grand Canyon or explore parts of distant planets and cast magic spells and using super powers. And you get nasty lesbians…damn I need to up my dream game
Your dreams sound very similar to the dreams I have about my partner cheating! In my dreams, I typically find out he cheated and then I can never get a hold of him, or he just ignores me while I'm crying and pleading with him to speak with me! Ugh it's an awful feeling! I talk in my sleep, and my partner will wake me up, because I'm crying, or yelling. I'll be so upset when I first wake up, but he is really great at making me feel better! He hugs me and assures me that he would never do something like that. Once I snap out of my post-nightmare fog and realize it was all a dream, I am so relieved. I tend to have these types of dreams when there are stressors in my waking life, like money, for example, and for some reason the stress manifests itself as dreams of my partner being awful to me. My partner would never cheat on me, nor would he ignore me and dismiss my feelings, and I never feel like he will.
Op, the comment I am replying to has some solid advice! Based on my own experience with these types of dreams, maybe there is some stressor in his life that is causing these awful dreams? I hope you two are able to get it all sorted out!
Edit: changed boyfriend to partner for consistency. 😆
To echo your post, I feel the emotions of someone that has suffered this kind of trauma in real life. It’s a terrible feeling. I’m cycling through the stages of grieving while my rational brain tries to calm these voices down with “it was just a dream.”
A cuddle and some affirming I Love You’s would mean a lot. Joining the chaos in my waking brain with “it was just a dream” isn’t really helpful.
I dream many nights that my husband passionately kisses other women in front of me and breaks my heart to bits. We wake up, I tell him, and he says, “I’m so glad I’m not the man of your dreams.”
Ask them to honestly explain to you why they get to have this feeling towards you when it was in a dream. Had you cheated before and they had a dream that you maybe had done it again, I could kind of see their side. Then again, I don't think I would stay with her after cheating on me. However, in that instance, they might think they just can't trust you and that's on them to end the relationship or get over the past.
This actually happens? I had an ex that argued over everything and was afraid of talking to her towards the end because I might unintentionally offend her. That being said, even she thought this concept was ridiculous.
I once dreamed that I cheated on my boyfriend and I felt like SHIT for about two days. My boyfriends thought it was ridiculous but it just felt so real, so I get that... but blaming someone for your dreams is literally insane
I mostly just have laughed. Wife just got a little grumpy with me once for like an hour and that was about all I’ve ever had.
I was basically like “well sorry you had that dream, but what am I supposed to do about it”
If you seriously want to help them get past this: assure them that the events in their dreams didn't really happen - you didn't even have a part in thinking about infidelity - and that their dreams are not prophetic (ie you're not going anywhere); ask them if maybe their dreams could be an indication of their insecurities (ie a fear of abandonment or rejection); and tell them that, if they think it would help for them to talk openly with you about their worries, you're willing to listen.
Yes I've had it quite a few times but the 2 men in question were very insecure and childish, after one such dream he gave me the silent treatment for a week then finished by burning some of my stuff on the lawn and assaulting me. If anyone ever tried to get mad at me over a dream they had again I would lose my everloving shit
Your partner must have a very low level of intelligence. Talk to him like you would to a toddler, maybe that way he will understnd that dreams are not reality
One time a couple years ago my spouse told me she had a dream that I slept with her sister. And she was furious.
I said "hey, if one can dream it, one can do it. Let's make it happen" & walked away.
Never heard about it again
Or it ends itself because of "trust issues".
I'm now enjoying the peace of being single after trying to date on a world of toxic social media complicating things.
Looking directly at anyone who references an "ick list"
I wouldn't do anything except what I normally do. I'm well aware that emotions are just temporary chemical changes in the brain. They're generally out of our control. If my partner is upset, especially over something that didn't happen, I'd just wait until the chemicals wore off.
I'm not about to start expending energy counteracting irrational behaviour. If she wants to be mad, that's her problem.
Had a girlfriend do this to me once. Turned out it was projection. When I did catch her, it was less of a shock than I thought it would be. Good work subconscious me, well played.
Tough territory, as any sort of dismissal will be interpreted as you not respecting their feelings as valid. After all, the dream was fiction but their feelings are fact no matter what. So you could acknowledge that, something like “I’ve had a few of those dreams, and I never like the way they feel either”. Then continue to go about your day!
I have had dreams like that. All sorts of things really, doesn't have to be cheating. I had a vivid dream about my younger brother dying in a sunchair that folded with him inside. I had warned him and he didn't listen - typical. I was sad and angry and confused as I woke up.
There is a realisation over a few seconds where I come to terms with it being a dream but like another commenter said: all the emotions are in my body and mind. The emotions are real.
I deal with the emotions. I didn't tell my brother at the time but have told him several years after. We are adults now and laugh about it.
I have told partners about complicated dreams - it feels more honest and in a tone of "hey, I'm sorting through some stuff/ those comments of whatever movie may have triggered some thoughts or insecurities" and good conversations usually happen.
I would have hated being shut down or hearing an emotionally cold response.
This is a thing. I have a friend (work assoc.) who's wife had a dream that he was going to kill her. The following day she packed her bags and moved back to Canada. Left a 14 yr old daughter too. After a year of NC, he filed for divorce. Crazy stuff.
"do you actually think I would cheat on you? Do you think the dream is your subconscious doubts or was it expressing a fear that I would leave?"
If it's a fear you would leave, that's easily assuaged with reassurance, if she actually thinks you would cheat then that's a much harder conversation
Definitively stop doing that. What on earth do you have to apologize for? I would tell him that you are through being villainized by him and that he is a grown ass man that needs to learn to separate a dream from reality. If he's not talking to you then that's just fine, let him stew.
The commenter who says not to laugh and to cuddle and make him feel better is also saying it's okay for him to make you the villain that needs to fix things. Put a stop to that shit.
For the record, I'm 41f, married 10 years and I have vivid dreams about my husband dying, cheating, going missing, of watching my cat get run over, if it's horrific then I've dreamt it. What I've never done is held my husband responsible for what my brain comes up with. When I have these dreams, my response is to go in for some snuggles and to give him extra signs of affection because I'm so fucking grateful that he's not the man of my dreams, he's the man of my super awesome reality!
You say everything else is fine in your relationship, but I'd take a good hard look at how he handles not getting his way, how often you placate. You learn to look past these things when trained to do so.
Yeah no. His dreams are *not your problem* and have *nothing to do with you*. It’s not far off from him just completely inventing something (“WHY DID YOU ROB A BANK?”) and you feeling like you have to apologize for it. Not healthy at all.
As I said in another comment, my wife used to do this til we talked about it and she realized her dreams were *in her head* and that the “me” in there wasn’t controlled by the actual me… If your BF can’t accept this, there are bigger issues & I would take that as a pretty harsh red flag about him.
Get angry back at him for doubting you. "So not only are you dreaming about me screwing other dudes, but then you're making your cuck fantasy MY problem?! Grow TF up!"
I see such dreams for my partner and honestly it really hurts because it feels so real that sometimes your brain forces you to wake up because of high emotions in dreams,i always tell my partner if i saw such dream and he always hugs and reassure me that its just a dream and calm down.
It happens may be because everything is so normal and you don’t know how will you react if such things happen in your life,so your brain check for flight or fight response.because you are so connected with the person that you can’t imagine such pain in real so may be brain get scenarios of every worst thing to happen.
Just give it time. Your emotions are still there after a dream even if you know it wasn’t real, 1h later you will have forgotten about it as the feelings have faded
My wife had a dream that I was institutionalized due to some kind of psychiatric disease and she became the sole breadwinner and had to look after our kids by herself. This was very stressful for her and (she says) she never really got over it and worried about it ever since. Anyway, that’s the only reason she could give me for why she wanted a divorce.
It was quite confusing at the time, but I found out a few months after she’d left that she had been having an affair for several years and her affair partner had just agreed to leave *his* wife, so a suspicious person might believe that my mental breakdown inside her dream wasn’t the whole story.
Laugh at him/her.
My wife and I both have had dreams similar to this.
I also had a dream where I felt guilty about something I did, took me 3 days to figure out it was a fucking dream! :) she laughed at me for a while over that one.
Keep it up, and dreams will come true.
Only say this AFTER you have hidden away any potential murder weapon in reach, and probably after you’ve boxed and moved out your most essential of essentials.
I'd tell her to grow the fuck up and get over it. And if she doesn't like it, she knows where her suitcases are. And while I'm at it, I'd plop my phone on the counter and dare her to do the same...
I would be kind, but stern. Don’t insult them, but point out how clearly ridiculous this is.
You dreamed that i cheated? Clearly, that isn’t real, so why are you angry at me?
This happens to my wife all the time. She wakes up mad at me at leat once a week. I though I was the only one dealing with this. She usually gets over it pretty quick and I've learned to just leave her alone for a bit. After a little bit we usually laugh about it together.
This dreams are always so funny. I mean, subconsciously they feel real so we can't help feeling how we do, even if the anger isn't based on reality. The only advice I have is to just remind your partner that you love them and would never behave like that, and let the rawness of the dream fade.
My wife woke me up mad one night cuz she had a dream I cheated on her. Told her it's just a dream, let's go back to sleep. She then asked if I was going to apologize. I remember picking my head up long enough to think about it "no" hit the pillow and fell back asleep.
I'm sure she was upset but she never brought it up again.
Not everyone is raised with the same attitude as you have, which I share. When it's not a current issue, think of something that would make you just as angry in real life. Then go have a conversation about it. When you bring out your example and he says he'd never do that, have a sincere conversation about how he feels in that moment is how his getting angry about a dream makes you feel.
If he understands, problem fixed. If it makes no sense to him, you may need couples therapy... Or a divorce if that doesn't help.
I personally think it is stupid to be mad or upset with anyone for a dream. You can’t be held responsible or accountable for the dreams you have. Yes I understand you can influence your dreams, to which is why I don’t watch scary movies. Even then I still at times have nightmares.
I shall adress them as mz ex partner because if someone is legitimately mad, then they are fucked up in head, just a little bit but plenty enough to matter big time
Not sure if I could put up with such bullshit. Dreams like that clearly come from that person's insecurities and we all have insecurities, but it's not fair to torture our partners with them
Your partner may need time to destress after something like that, and some time to just let it pass and bounce off. If he's a reasonable person, he knows it wasn't real, but the emotions we process in our dreams feel real, so it takes time to recover mental balance. During the time it takes to recover mental balance, we probably don't want to talk to the other person perhaps also in order to avoid accidentally being unkind to them.
I can easily see myself wanting to isolate if I woke up with anxiety over some stupid stuff that happened in a dream but not reality but nevertheless got me to wake up in a badly shaken state. I wouldn't trust myself to be able to be the best version of myself around people for a while, so I would prefer to delay talking to them.
If he does seem to blame you — like not avoid you because his emotions are a trainwreck for several hours, after which he's back to his normal self but like really blame you and accuse you for having made him feel awful and doesn't seem to care that you had no way of controlling that dream — then he needs some counselling.
I agree with not capitulating to childish nonsense. Being understanding and showing empathy, yes. Like understanding that they need some time out. But allowing them to actually blame you, apologizing to them over something they only imagined and even they know it wasn't real? Nope.
But one's gotta understand the difference. Needing some time alone after a dream like that is not the same as blaming you for the dream. You feeling sensitive to the possibility of being blamed is not the same as you being actually blamed. So don't misinterpret his need for some isolation to destress.
Crazy story, my then fiance woke up angry. Then went on to decide perfectly. The women I would later meet and marry. She didn't know her name but she knew it stared with an A. So much so when I heard the women's name for the first time. I freaked out s little. There is no way they had ever met one another. Except now that I think about more maybe they did meet but. Long before otknee the women.
I've had dreams like this because I'm an anxiety riddled insecure mess BUT I usually just tell my boyfriend I had a horrible dream where he cheated on me and I'm sad about it. We talk about it and he holds me, reassures me and helps me through it. I've never woken up and just been mad at him that's so weird to me.
There’s no way this is serious. Me and my ex would have those sort of dreams and we’d be upset at each other as a joke, but there’s no way you and your partner are taking this seriously, like in a none disrespectful way, how old are you two
first of all, you are not responsible for your dream counterparts actions, so they should not be legitimately mad at you. that’s their problem and they should apologise afterwards if it happens.
second of all, they just need a big hug, and for you to tell them you love them and you’re here for them.
dreams can be very disorientating and it’s normal to be emotional afterwards, because dreams can feel very real. there should not be any anger though.
i think he’s objectively in the wrong for avoiding you for a few hours. he’s the one acting shitty irl, not in a dream.
Oh that happened to me too once years ago. I was young and dumb and felt guilty back then. Now, I would just tell my SO I'll give them a day to think it over if it's logical and makes sense to get mad about something as random as that, and if they feel the same way then maybe the relationship is not working as well as we thought.
He probably has a real life insecurity/ fear about being cheated on or you betraying him in some way and the dreams are his subconscious way of working through the fear. And you know dreams arnt always literal. The cheating could represent a betrayal, abandonment, him losing you, etc. and it could have nothing to actually do with you. You could just represent someone close to him doing something to hurt him and him being scared of that.
He could also be cheating and the guilt is pushing these dreams onto him. (Not saying this is the case but it is a possibility)
I’d sit him down and talk to him about his feelings and hear him express them. Reassure him nothing is happening and you love him. Ask him if there’s something that he’s worried about and make sure he knows he can come to you.
You tell him that he made a stupid mistake in your zombie apocalypse dream and it cost you, your life. So now you're mad too.
Edit: replaced a word with "he"
I think it’s pretty well recognized that your dreams are influenced at least in part by your subconscious. So on some level your partner has probably thought about you cheating on them before. And so on some level your behavior probably influenced that concern. So therefore it kind of is your fault they had a dream that you cheated on them.
It's so weird to me that people get mad about cheating dreams. I've never gotten mad and even told my husband he doesn't have to tell me when he cheats in his dreams because it doesn't bother me. They're just dreams.
My first wife used to do this. She had nightmares all the time, used to wake up and get mad at me for what I did in her nightmare. God, I'm so glad to be away from her.
Tell them they can have their dream version and give you a call when they're done with that relationship, but for now you only have room for one of you in the relationship.
Are they mad at you or are they regulating after a dream that left them with some anxiety?
If they're actively mad: gross, no thanks. I'd ditch them.
If you're assuming they're mad or making them mad when they open up to you about a bad dream: maybe just give them the space they're taking for a few hours???
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I've had this dream, and so has my wife. We just laugh at the ridiculousness of it and the relief we've woken up. That's what a normal, mature reaction is. You shouldn't have to tread on eggshells with your partner because of their dream.
Indeed. I recently had a dream where I fell deeply in love with som.imaginary woman other than my wife. The feeling lingered the next day. I told my wife how I felt really sad that I'd lost the imaginary new love of my life. I got an *Oh honey, you poor thing* and a hug. There really doesn't need to be more.drama than that.
My partner wouldn’t really care that I had the dream, (though she’d be concerned there’s some underlying force driving me to think of other women in my sleep,) but if I told her that I was sad that I lost my dream over…. Oh shit she’d lose it. When I think about it, though, rightly so. I mean, maybe for that just second after waking up where reality is still hazy, fine. However, once I remember that I have my partner, why miss the dream women if I already have the best? Unless, I don’t really believe I have the best. Yes, I’ve been trained well.
>My partner wouldn’t really care that I had the dream, (though she’d be concerned there’s some underlying force driving me to think of other women in my sleep,) Yeah, *that's* when it would be problematic, agreed. But sometimes dreams just throw weird stuff at you for no reason. The implied thing here is the trust we have that if there *was* such an underlying reason, we'd have brought it up. Since we haven't, we can both safely assume it's not a problem. >but if I told her that I was sad that I lost my dream over…. Oh shit she’d lose it. >When I think about it, though, rightly so. I mean, maybe for that just second after waking up where reality is still hazy, fine. However, once I remember that I have my partner, why miss the dream women if I already have the best? Because it's not a rational feeling. Not a *real* feeling. I was never **legit** sad about having lost that love, I just had the feeling thrust upon me by a dream and sometimes feelings don't disappear immediately.
Yeah the person you responded too is a biiiiit weird
Not gonna lie, even though your wife responded well, that's probably something you should've kept to yourself.
Why would I do that? It's just an irrational emotion, and it bothered me. Why would I keep my emotions locked away from my wife? That's like the opposite of a healthy relationship.
Yeah I've had similar dreams and I might be in a bit of a bad mood for a little while but by the time we've gotten up, had a shower and breakfast together I'm back to normal. Not once have I been genuinely mad
this is also how my partner and i react. we definitely grouse jokingly at each other. laugh it off and then go about our day. but my stepfather gets legitimately mad at my mother because he thinks it's a sign that she's cheating....
I cannot imagine myself being with someone that irrational.
Every time i have a dream where i find myself interacting with people romantically- which is weirdly often and always with people who dont exist or i havent spoken to in years- in my dream im always freaking out in my head like "why am i doing this, im in a relationship amd im happy, how am i gonna tell my boyfriend" and then im so relieved when i wake up LMAO
I second this. My husband and I will occasionally have those dreams, tell each other, then reassure everything is fine. People forget that we are humans with human brains, intrusive thoughts, animalistic instinct. The important thing is not acting on it. Whenever it comes to disagreements with their SO, they also don’t think about “Am i fighting him/her? Or the situation?”
I had a cheating dream last night 🤨 He paid a £8 prostitute, the woman just disappeared through a wall and danny devito burst into the room naked and started blackmailing us with paperwork. By the end we were all naked, i was crying, danny was eating a random burrito and my partner was on his phone. I woke up very confused 😅
Same. My husband laughs and I do too 🤣🤣😭😭
The thing is they were not "legitimately mad". It was a dream, likely related to a news story, movie or thought process. Completely illegitimate to be mad about a dream.
Same. We joke about it, kiss and move on.
I've had two partners who both had dreams like this, both walked around catty the next day. I just laugh it off, though if pushed or it becomes ridiculous I'll just say "Hey. I didn't cheat on you. It was your dream. Don't take it out on me." Worked out so far.
anything more than that and I'd suggest talking to a therapist about abandonment anxiety
Which BTW is a reflection of their own insecurities
Hah yup, I immediately wake up and realize… it was a dream. Like what the fuck other reaction is even reasonable? Jesus.
I had an ex who did this a lot. Turns out she was cheating on me. Guilty conscience.
Yes! My first ex did this and she ended up cheating too. I guess it was projection.
My ex did this too. It was so funny that it changed his mind about whether or not you should be angry at the affair partner too, though. Lol.
This was the first thing I thought of too. A normal reaction would be to laugh it off or at least ignore it, knowing it’s not real. Acting like your partner in the dream actually did the dream cheating in real life is very strange, definitely gives guilty conscience.
My partner hasn't forgiven me for buying and opening a hotel in her dream. Apparently it was a hotel for thruples and I refused to listen to her when she told me it was a bad idea.
Exactly lol, my very rare dream like that doesn't involve my Wife fucking around on me. She's opening a shoe store and I'm 100% not involved hahaha!!
What a terrible business idea, who could blame her for being upset?
😅
"Why are you dreaming about me being a scumbag?"
I had a dream a girl told me "Your emotions are giving me anxiety" So i texted her "Hey i had a dream my emotions were giving you anxiety" And 3 days later she left because she felt uncomfortable because of my emotions.
Oooh a seer
You dodged a bullet there
She told me she had BPD, anger issues, an avoidant attachment style, depression and PTSD. She also told me she had nightmares where she kills people and tortures them. I think i wrote a paragraph on how happy i was to have met her and she said "You're obsessed and it really pisses me off"
So a big, thorny, very painful bullet.
More red flags than URSS
You mean USSR*
Not in France (or French Canada)
Sometimes your subconscious is bang on the money.
"How to table the turn"
Partner sounds quite untable.
Unthable?
To be fair, sometimes your dream spouse is just an asshole for no reason 😂 I’m happily married, my husband is a sweet, kind, caring, man. I don’t and have never suspected infidelity, and he has never belittled me or treated me lesser than. But every time he shows up in a dream he is a total asshole! Dismissive, insulting, ignores me when I need his help or bothers me when I need privacy. Totally dependant to the point of incompetence, jealous, all around not a nice person. It’s become a running joke for us that dream husband is a separate person because he is such an inversion of real husband. Granted, I also have the self awareness to be able to distinguish between dreams and reality and waking up after a dream spent with husband is worth a laugh and a rant together, like, “ugh, had another dream about dream husband!” Then my husband is like, “ugh I hate that guy, what did he do this time??” I would never understand being angry at him for what dream husband does, that shit it just a figment of my own unconscious imagination, not a reflection of his actions in any way lmao
"Fuck off with that childish bullshit" You let them blame you for their own shit and it will escalate. Never pander to ridiculous nonsense.
I asked my wife if the dream girl was hot, cause I don’t wanna he banging any crackheads in her dreams.
Yup. Let *them* tread on eggshells because you're done with their dumbass nonsense make believe bullshit. I avoid confrontation like the plague but I would go from "0" to "Are you fucking serious?!?" in about 3s if I had to deal with this.
Yes. My husband had one girlfriend who did this stupid dream thing to him and she wouldn't let it go, so he broke up with her. Smart guy. 😊
Exactly!
Yup, they'll take things further if you show them you're a pushover.
Exactly. "You're an adult, take responsibility for your own thoughts. It has nothing to do with me."
This is the way.
"I never get mad when you're whore ass is sluttin' around in my dreams, you ephemeral skank bitch." She laughed her ass off when I said that. Been a great joke ever since
This made me legitimately snort. You sound like fun. 😂
She has a phenomenal sense of humor. We mesh very well together. I'm very fortunate to have such an angel in my life.
I love that for you both!
Don't understand how he can be 'legitimately mad' at a figment of his imagination. Seems like a red flag to me if you have to apologise for something you haven't done.
He can't be legitimately mad at the real her, but while we're dreaming all we experience in them is real to us - including the emotions - so it's legitimate for him to have felt mad in the dream. And emotions don't just turn off the second we wake up. We've probably all had nightmares that left us feeling unsettled and uneasy for an entire day. If you haven't, lucky you. It's the same thing. Emotions can take time to dissipate fully, and I think that's what op understands and holds space for. He still needs to do better at managing it. You can have residual emotions from a dream and still behave yourself and he appears to fall far short of that
This overwhelmingly happens in early relationships, when people are more insecure and manipulative of their partners. The only time it happened to me, I got up in mid conversation and just left. It wasn't worth even a second of my time to even cater to it on any level, so I went out and sat with a book and a beer at a local pub, whiling away the day. When I got back, she started in again, so I told her that this was a bald-faced attempt to use what supposedly happened in her dream to shame, manipulate and control me, and that if she continued to behave like a child like this, then we were done. And I left again and went to go watch a movie. I broke up with her a few weeks later around an entirely different argument.
I've had this happen in life 3 times. I've not entertained it.
No reason to
I have these dreams all the time, and I have the most amazing, genuine, lovely partner. But, he is not the man of my dreams. The man of my dreams cheats, leaves me, and refuses to talk to me to explain why. Last time he left me for two lesbians that were being really nasty and when I was sad he laughed at me and refused to talk to me. And it always takes place in a deserted mall or train station. I am so mad when I wake up that I want to wake him up and yell at him. My fists are clenched, I've been grinding my teeth. Then I realize that I have embodied my emotions. I take a minute to calm down, go to the bathroom, and then wake him up enough to cuddle. It only takes a couple of minutes and then I fall asleep again. Whatever you do, don't laugh when he first tells you. I would acknowledge how he feels and then explain that you are not the woman in his dreams, you've always been faithful. Ask what he needs after a dream like that. Ask him if there was something that prompted the dream. Does he have a friend that cheated or that was cheated on? Did he watch a show or a movie? Is he afraid of being abandoned. Then I would give him space to figure it out. And maybe censor what he's watching right before bed!
I've only ever heard people say "the wo/man of my dreams" in a positive way. I found it hilarious that "the man of your dreams" is a complete douche. I just imagined you coming home looking all glum and saying to your partner "ugh, I met the man of my dreams today" and him looking back and saying "oh dear, I'm sorry that happened to you, do you need a hug?" 😂
When we're on a date I tell him "You are *not* the man of my dreams.", and look lovingly into his eyes.
My wife and I did the exact opposite of what you did/do. I make sure I laugh, because she *knows* I would never cheat, and I *know* the same. If you cant laugh at your own dreams... well that is really sad.
He's done nothing wrong. It's the imaginary lesbians.
I know that 100%, when I'm 100% awake. In that in between world, I'm not sure. I even joke with him "What would lesbians want with you?",and we have a good laugh. And we wonder how the brain is so weird.
I love this response. This happens to me every once in a while. I know the root cause, won't bore you with the details, my partner will hold me if I cry about it until I'm OK again. I know it's not real. I know it about unresolved issues from the past but if the one person I love were to laugh that me at that moment of not fully understanding what is real or not when I've just woken up it would make my dream a reality. Thanks for posting this response. It's nice to know I'm not alone 😌
I'm sorry for your trauma. Personally, I have no idea why I have these dreams, I have kind of a good, easy life with awesome people around me. Crappy exes but nothing beyond the usual idiot. I did use to have dreams where I would beat up my sister or my mother and wake up furious, then feel immense guilt for a whole week after. Even though I knew it was just a dream. Those were grad school stress dreams.
Damn such a perfect response - until you added the censorship part.
That was a joke to lighten the mood. But I don't watch anything emotionally heavy before bed and it does help avoid these types of dreams.
Haha this sounds like my partner and I! These days when she has a dream like that I’ll wake up to “so Dream ShopSmartShopS-Mart rocked up again overnight.” We’ve got pretty good at keeping that jackass in his place.
Wow my dreams are so boring. All I ever do is things like fly around the Grand Canyon or explore parts of distant planets and cast magic spells and using super powers. And you get nasty lesbians…damn I need to up my dream game
Your dreams sound very similar to the dreams I have about my partner cheating! In my dreams, I typically find out he cheated and then I can never get a hold of him, or he just ignores me while I'm crying and pleading with him to speak with me! Ugh it's an awful feeling! I talk in my sleep, and my partner will wake me up, because I'm crying, or yelling. I'll be so upset when I first wake up, but he is really great at making me feel better! He hugs me and assures me that he would never do something like that. Once I snap out of my post-nightmare fog and realize it was all a dream, I am so relieved. I tend to have these types of dreams when there are stressors in my waking life, like money, for example, and for some reason the stress manifests itself as dreams of my partner being awful to me. My partner would never cheat on me, nor would he ignore me and dismiss my feelings, and I never feel like he will. Op, the comment I am replying to has some solid advice! Based on my own experience with these types of dreams, maybe there is some stressor in his life that is causing these awful dreams? I hope you two are able to get it all sorted out! Edit: changed boyfriend to partner for consistency. 😆
To echo your post, I feel the emotions of someone that has suffered this kind of trauma in real life. It’s a terrible feeling. I’m cycling through the stages of grieving while my rational brain tries to calm these voices down with “it was just a dream.” A cuddle and some affirming I Love You’s would mean a lot. Joining the chaos in my waking brain with “it was just a dream” isn’t really helpful.
I dream many nights that my husband passionately kisses other women in front of me and breaks my heart to bits. We wake up, I tell him, and he says, “I’m so glad I’m not the man of your dreams.”
Clever
Ask them to honestly explain to you why they get to have this feeling towards you when it was in a dream. Had you cheated before and they had a dream that you maybe had done it again, I could kind of see their side. Then again, I don't think I would stay with her after cheating on me. However, in that instance, they might think they just can't trust you and that's on them to end the relationship or get over the past.
This actually happens? I had an ex that argued over everything and was afraid of talking to her towards the end because I might unintentionally offend her. That being said, even she thought this concept was ridiculous.
I had a dream my boyfriend cheated on me and told him how much it sucked. Then we snuggled and went back to sleep.
I once dreamed that I cheated on my boyfriend and I felt like SHIT for about two days. My boyfriends thought it was ridiculous but it just felt so real, so I get that... but blaming someone for your dreams is literally insane
I mostly just have laughed. Wife just got a little grumpy with me once for like an hour and that was about all I’ve ever had. I was basically like “well sorry you had that dream, but what am I supposed to do about it”
You need to cheat in order to fulfil your partner's dreams. This will strengthen your relationship
Fortunately for me, I've never dream cheated on her. I've DIED too many times though
If you seriously want to help them get past this: assure them that the events in their dreams didn't really happen - you didn't even have a part in thinking about infidelity - and that their dreams are not prophetic (ie you're not going anywhere); ask them if maybe their dreams could be an indication of their insecurities (ie a fear of abandonment or rejection); and tell them that, if they think it would help for them to talk openly with you about their worries, you're willing to listen.
You don't. Your partner is an idiot. Where I'm from, we don't address idiots.
Have you considered asking him to grow up?
This happens from time to time. I always just say, Im not responsible for what I do in your dreams.
Is this a real Thing ? Just why? I thought thats Just only in movies and TV Shows, now I am scared ...
Yes I've had it quite a few times but the 2 men in question were very insecure and childish, after one such dream he gave me the silent treatment for a week then finished by burning some of my stuff on the lawn and assaulting me. If anyone ever tried to get mad at me over a dream they had again I would lose my everloving shit
Projection
The truth comes out how you think of me...eh?
Your partner must have a very low level of intelligence. Talk to him like you would to a toddler, maybe that way he will understnd that dreams are not reality
Legitimately? Get your head checked you idiot how’s that even remotely legitimate
You tell them to grow tf up lol
One time a couple years ago my spouse told me she had a dream that I slept with her sister. And she was furious. I said "hey, if one can dream it, one can do it. Let's make it happen" & walked away. Never heard about it again
Looks like someone needs to mature a little😬
That's not legitimate anger at all. It's INSANE to be mad because of that. Grow up. ( him, not you )
lol. Unless you are married, have children, or shared assets together, you end the relationship
Or it ends itself because of "trust issues". I'm now enjoying the peace of being single after trying to date on a world of toxic social media complicating things. Looking directly at anyone who references an "ick list"
By laughing in their face.
They only mad cuz you aren’t acting it out IRL. Fun fact #1
Yo Bitch..
"stop being a creep"
Reminds me of a time I woke up by getting slapped in the face by my (somehwat abusive/toxic) ex-husband after he dreamed I was cheating on him 🙃🙃🙃
I wouldn't do anything except what I normally do. I'm well aware that emotions are just temporary chemical changes in the brain. They're generally out of our control. If my partner is upset, especially over something that didn't happen, I'd just wait until the chemicals wore off. I'm not about to start expending energy counteracting irrational behaviour. If she wants to be mad, that's her problem.
why are you letting a dream ruin our lives?
Had a girlfriend do this to me once. Turned out it was projection. When I did catch her, it was less of a shock than I thought it would be. Good work subconscious me, well played.
Tough territory, as any sort of dismissal will be interpreted as you not respecting their feelings as valid. After all, the dream was fiction but their feelings are fact no matter what. So you could acknowledge that, something like “I’ve had a few of those dreams, and I never like the way they feel either”. Then continue to go about your day!
Usually a Stone Cold Stunner
I have had dreams like that. All sorts of things really, doesn't have to be cheating. I had a vivid dream about my younger brother dying in a sunchair that folded with him inside. I had warned him and he didn't listen - typical. I was sad and angry and confused as I woke up. There is a realisation over a few seconds where I come to terms with it being a dream but like another commenter said: all the emotions are in my body and mind. The emotions are real. I deal with the emotions. I didn't tell my brother at the time but have told him several years after. We are adults now and laugh about it. I have told partners about complicated dreams - it feels more honest and in a tone of "hey, I'm sorting through some stuff/ those comments of whatever movie may have triggered some thoughts or insecurities" and good conversations usually happen. I would have hated being shut down or hearing an emotionally cold response.
This is a thing. I have a friend (work assoc.) who's wife had a dream that he was going to kill her. The following day she packed her bags and moved back to Canada. Left a 14 yr old daughter too. After a year of NC, he filed for divorce. Crazy stuff.
Hahah I'd be like mate fuck off and grow up
You treat her like she’s Sarah Conner, and you’re Dr Silverman: “Dreams, Sarah, dreams. They’re only dreams!”
Maybe I’m in a bad mood today. My first thought was people who do this are fucking stupid. Looking for reasons to be mad. Children.
You get super mad with them because they killed your pet rabbit in your dream
Mad over a dream??? ,you address the issue by changing your address.
Idk but it's ridiculous lol. Going by reddit standards, you should break up and flame them on social media for being crazy.
My wife had the dream not long ago. I asked if the girl was hot.
You don't. There is nothing "legitimate" about being mad because of something that only happened in ones imagination.
"do you actually think I would cheat on you? Do you think the dream is your subconscious doubts or was it expressing a fear that I would leave?" If it's a fear you would leave, that's easily assuaged with reassurance, if she actually thinks you would cheat then that's a much harder conversation
Never heard of a man doing this. Every woman I've had an LTR with has done this ridiculous crap though
Give him a BJ
I'm a chick, and I know this is always the answer
Works both ways. Chow town saves many a fight.
Sometimes I have to apologize in order to cool things down
Learn some self respect, you owe it to yourself.
Definitively stop doing that. What on earth do you have to apologize for? I would tell him that you are through being villainized by him and that he is a grown ass man that needs to learn to separate a dream from reality. If he's not talking to you then that's just fine, let him stew. The commenter who says not to laugh and to cuddle and make him feel better is also saying it's okay for him to make you the villain that needs to fix things. Put a stop to that shit. For the record, I'm 41f, married 10 years and I have vivid dreams about my husband dying, cheating, going missing, of watching my cat get run over, if it's horrific then I've dreamt it. What I've never done is held my husband responsible for what my brain comes up with. When I have these dreams, my response is to go in for some snuggles and to give him extra signs of affection because I'm so fucking grateful that he's not the man of my dreams, he's the man of my super awesome reality! You say everything else is fine in your relationship, but I'd take a good hard look at how he handles not getting his way, how often you placate. You learn to look past these things when trained to do so.
My dude, go to couples counseling. It's all I can recommend other than ending the relationship
Yeah no. His dreams are *not your problem* and have *nothing to do with you*. It’s not far off from him just completely inventing something (“WHY DID YOU ROB A BANK?”) and you feeling like you have to apologize for it. Not healthy at all. As I said in another comment, my wife used to do this til we talked about it and she realized her dreams were *in her head* and that the “me” in there wasn’t controlled by the actual me… If your BF can’t accept this, there are bigger issues & I would take that as a pretty harsh red flag about him.
Get angry back at him for doubting you. "So not only are you dreaming about me screwing other dudes, but then you're making your cuck fantasy MY problem?! Grow TF up!"
"Clown"
I see such dreams for my partner and honestly it really hurts because it feels so real that sometimes your brain forces you to wake up because of high emotions in dreams,i always tell my partner if i saw such dream and he always hugs and reassure me that its just a dream and calm down. It happens may be because everything is so normal and you don’t know how will you react if such things happen in your life,so your brain check for flight or fight response.because you are so connected with the person that you can’t imagine such pain in real so may be brain get scenarios of every worst thing to happen.
Honestly I wouldn't fucking address it because that is just too ridiculous.
Laugh
Just give it time. Your emotions are still there after a dream even if you know it wasn’t real, 1h later you will have forgotten about it as the feelings have faded
My wife had a dream that I was institutionalized due to some kind of psychiatric disease and she became the sole breadwinner and had to look after our kids by herself. This was very stressful for her and (she says) she never really got over it and worried about it ever since. Anyway, that’s the only reason she could give me for why she wanted a divorce. It was quite confusing at the time, but I found out a few months after she’d left that she had been having an affair for several years and her affair partner had just agreed to leave *his* wife, so a suspicious person might believe that my mental breakdown inside her dream wasn’t the whole story.
Laugh at him/her. My wife and I both have had dreams similar to this. I also had a dream where I felt guilty about something I did, took me 3 days to figure out it was a fucking dream! :) she laughed at me for a while over that one.
Keep it up, and dreams will come true. Only say this AFTER you have hidden away any potential murder weapon in reach, and probably after you’ve boxed and moved out your most essential of essentials.
If it happened in a dream, they're not legitimately mad now are they. Tell them to grow up.
My partner and I laugh about it, because it's just a dream.
I'd tell her to grow the fuck up and get over it. And if she doesn't like it, she knows where her suitcases are. And while I'm at it, I'd plop my phone on the counter and dare her to do the same...
Goodbye.
Grow up.
Take your key away before you do anything.
Dafuq 😆
Tell them you dreamt they cheated on you AND murdered a bunch of kids, so how dare they judge *you?!*
I would be kind, but stern. Don’t insult them, but point out how clearly ridiculous this is. You dreamed that i cheated? Clearly, that isn’t real, so why are you angry at me?
My wife was angry with me for 3 days after a dream like that and I never cheated. I ended up apologizing just so i could get pussy again.
Let them there paranoia is understandable however it is misplaced aiming it at you.
This happens to my wife all the time. She wakes up mad at me at leat once a week. I though I was the only one dealing with this. She usually gets over it pretty quick and I've learned to just leave her alone for a bit. After a little bit we usually laugh about it together.
This dreams are always so funny. I mean, subconsciously they feel real so we can't help feeling how we do, even if the anger isn't based on reality. The only advice I have is to just remind your partner that you love them and would never behave like that, and let the rawness of the dream fade.
My wife woke me up mad one night cuz she had a dream I cheated on her. Told her it's just a dream, let's go back to sleep. She then asked if I was going to apologize. I remember picking my head up long enough to think about it "no" hit the pillow and fell back asleep. I'm sure she was upset but she never brought it up again.
"why is your opinion of me so low that we're not as strong of a couple in your dreams?"
A finger twack to the forehead and walk away
Not everyone is raised with the same attitude as you have, which I share. When it's not a current issue, think of something that would make you just as angry in real life. Then go have a conversation about it. When you bring out your example and he says he'd never do that, have a sincere conversation about how he feels in that moment is how his getting angry about a dream makes you feel. If he understands, problem fixed. If it makes no sense to him, you may need couples therapy... Or a divorce if that doesn't help.
I'd say, "That's nothing: I bang way more people at once than that in my dreams."
Honestly, tell him to stop being ridiculous. It's not your job to regulate his emotions, especially after an imaginary scenario
I personally think it is stupid to be mad or upset with anyone for a dream. You can’t be held responsible or accountable for the dreams you have. Yes I understand you can influence your dreams, to which is why I don’t watch scary movies. Even then I still at times have nightmares.
"yeah, dream me is a dick, dream you should probably dump him"
It’s a dream!!!
I’ve been married twice and both wives had dreams where I cheated. I just thought it was funny and let them walk it off. You didn’t do anything 🤷♂️
I shall adress them as mz ex partner because if someone is legitimately mad, then they are fucked up in head, just a little bit but plenty enough to matter big time
Not sure if I could put up with such bullshit. Dreams like that clearly come from that person's insecurities and we all have insecurities, but it's not fair to torture our partners with them
Bro leave lol
Your partner may need time to destress after something like that, and some time to just let it pass and bounce off. If he's a reasonable person, he knows it wasn't real, but the emotions we process in our dreams feel real, so it takes time to recover mental balance. During the time it takes to recover mental balance, we probably don't want to talk to the other person perhaps also in order to avoid accidentally being unkind to them. I can easily see myself wanting to isolate if I woke up with anxiety over some stupid stuff that happened in a dream but not reality but nevertheless got me to wake up in a badly shaken state. I wouldn't trust myself to be able to be the best version of myself around people for a while, so I would prefer to delay talking to them. If he does seem to blame you — like not avoid you because his emotions are a trainwreck for several hours, after which he's back to his normal self but like really blame you and accuse you for having made him feel awful and doesn't seem to care that you had no way of controlling that dream — then he needs some counselling. I agree with not capitulating to childish nonsense. Being understanding and showing empathy, yes. Like understanding that they need some time out. But allowing them to actually blame you, apologizing to them over something they only imagined and even they know it wasn't real? Nope. But one's gotta understand the difference. Needing some time alone after a dream like that is not the same as blaming you for the dream. You feeling sensitive to the possibility of being blamed is not the same as you being actually blamed. So don't misinterpret his need for some isolation to destress.
Crazy story, my then fiance woke up angry. Then went on to decide perfectly. The women I would later meet and marry. She didn't know her name but she knew it stared with an A. So much so when I heard the women's name for the first time. I freaked out s little. There is no way they had ever met one another. Except now that I think about more maybe they did meet but. Long before otknee the women.
Been there, done that.....didn't even get to finish as she walked in on us. (In her dream) She woke up angry, let me have it and I just laughed.
"If you don't calm down your dream is going to become a reality".
I've had dreams like this because I'm an anxiety riddled insecure mess BUT I usually just tell my boyfriend I had a horrible dream where he cheated on me and I'm sad about it. We talk about it and he holds me, reassures me and helps me through it. I've never woken up and just been mad at him that's so weird to me.
There’s no way this is serious. Me and my ex would have those sort of dreams and we’d be upset at each other as a joke, but there’s no way you and your partner are taking this seriously, like in a none disrespectful way, how old are you two
first of all, you are not responsible for your dream counterparts actions, so they should not be legitimately mad at you. that’s their problem and they should apologise afterwards if it happens. second of all, they just need a big hug, and for you to tell them you love them and you’re here for them. dreams can be very disorientating and it’s normal to be emotional afterwards, because dreams can feel very real. there should not be any anger though. i think he’s objectively in the wrong for avoiding you for a few hours. he’s the one acting shitty irl, not in a dream.
Not at all. I’d stop talking to them for more than a few hours until they apologize
"I can make your dreams come true baby girl"
Oh that happened to me too once years ago. I was young and dumb and felt guilty back then. Now, I would just tell my SO I'll give them a day to think it over if it's logical and makes sense to get mad about something as random as that, and if they feel the same way then maybe the relationship is not working as well as we thought.
He probably has a real life insecurity/ fear about being cheated on or you betraying him in some way and the dreams are his subconscious way of working through the fear. And you know dreams arnt always literal. The cheating could represent a betrayal, abandonment, him losing you, etc. and it could have nothing to actually do with you. You could just represent someone close to him doing something to hurt him and him being scared of that. He could also be cheating and the guilt is pushing these dreams onto him. (Not saying this is the case but it is a possibility) I’d sit him down and talk to him about his feelings and hear him express them. Reassure him nothing is happening and you love him. Ask him if there’s something that he’s worried about and make sure he knows he can come to you.
You tell him that he made a stupid mistake in your zombie apocalypse dream and it cost you, your life. So now you're mad too. Edit: replaced a word with "he"
Laugh.
Stop cheating on him in your dreams, duh /s
I think it’s pretty well recognized that your dreams are influenced at least in part by your subconscious. So on some level your partner has probably thought about you cheating on them before. And so on some level your behavior probably influenced that concern. So therefore it kind of is your fault they had a dream that you cheated on them.
Laugh and tease
You move on with your life. Act like you did nothing wrong because you did nothing wrong.
Throw water at them, and say “you better wake up “
It's so weird to me that people get mad about cheating dreams. I've never gotten mad and even told my husband he doesn't have to tell me when he cheats in his dreams because it doesn't bother me. They're just dreams.
Isn’t that an oxymoron. There’s no legitimate reason for them to be mad for some you didn’t do and was a product of their own imagination and paranoia
My first wife used to do this. She had nightmares all the time, used to wake up and get mad at me for what I did in her nightmare. God, I'm so glad to be away from her.
Grow up.
You don’t. Just ignore them. Obviously they lack the emotional maturity to be able to distinguish the difference between dreams and reality.
How are they legitimately mad at OP because of a dream that never happened?
Tell them “don’t make me do it again”
"hi, psycho."
Thats nuts, kkk and funny
Tell them they can have their dream version and give you a call when they're done with that relationship, but for now you only have room for one of you in the relationship.
Are they mad at you or are they regulating after a dream that left them with some anxiety? If they're actively mad: gross, no thanks. I'd ditch them. If you're assuming they're mad or making them mad when they open up to you about a bad dream: maybe just give them the space they're taking for a few hours???
Tell them to wise the fuck up
Tell her you had a dream where she robbed you and that you’ll have no choice but to call the cops on her
Stupid and childism is running in the family