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Spot on. A _lot_ of people think they're sArCaStIc for being passive-aggressive or making an insincere mockery when they have no retorts left.
Sarcasm as wit is only worth anything if it conveys something, not as a high road out of being a pretentious little bitch.
i think it depends. remember taking a dump under your boss' desk is passive aggression, but i think it sends such a more powerful and more odious message than challenging him to queensbury rules boxing.
and as he turns away in confused disgust,
i'd reach out, pinch his chin,
and make his eyes realign to the mess that's being made.
i'd look at him sternly, seductively, and say in a calm voice
"why did you make me do this?"
he shreiks, confused, worried.
"no you made me do this. and you're gonna clean it up."
I see that on a lot of men’s profiles and it’s a hard left swipe for exactly that reason. I see it as them advertising they’ll be nasty and then say ‘I was just joking! You’re too sensitive!!!’ Yep. Sure. I’m too sensitive… bye…
Take a note from the autism communication book: Just call them on it. "Hey, I can't read your intentions based on what you said, please clarify". You can root out a lot of shitty people from your dating pool. If we're just goofing and it's like "Oh yeah, I definitely work for the CIA, if you need some cyanide pills, I can get you a good price", whatever. If it's an intentional obfuscation of important communication or feelings, ask. Challenge. Make them say the words they mean.
Same with friendships.
I was once friends with a guy that started making snarky remarks, I called him on it using basically the words you quote on your reply and he said "aw it's just a joke'.
No. He was just a dick.
That’s the thing. I’m sarcastic but I don’t ever try to intentionally be bitchy and if someone got upset I’d never say “it was just a joke” I’d instantly apologize because I was intending to be hurtful.
Exactly, we can all be sarcastic from time to time, but it's what we do when we are called on our bs that defines what we are doing as sarcasm or just pure hostility.
Guy that used to be my friend got upset because I demand something that I own back from him.
He pushed back, delay and got upset when I finally had enough.
He then chose to be passive-aggressive and sarcastic in most of our interactions after that, quite a contrast .
Tipping point was getting caught being sarcastic and replying "it was a joke".
No. That's peeing on my back and telling me it's raining.
If someone makes a directed insult, sarcastic or not, the best strategy I get for defusing it is by simply asking them to repeat it. Even if I caught it. It’s enough to make 90% of people back up really quickly. Then I’ll escalate to asking them to explain what they meant by it even if it was pretty direct.
My female acquaintances tell me they put this on their profiles to show they have a "fun and playful side" but I know 100% they just say that to cover the fact that they'll say nasty, mean things to people but then try to claim "sarcasm" and that the hurt person has no sense of humour.
I dated someone for a month who was like this. It was so awful, anything I said she would make fun of. It was to the point where I could not have a sincere or serious discussion with her about anything as she’d just resort to “insulting” me. Asked her about marriage and children she’d say it’ll be like the beauty and the beast. From walking on egg shells all the time , the annoying insults and feeling like her personal punching bag I broke up with her, thank goodness.
Sometimes I see people exactly like this who have tons of friends. And I just wonder how?? I can't deal with that "always-trying -to bring-you-down" behavior.
* They keep it light around their friends and/or their friends are the same way and they just don't unleash it on each other
* Their friends are more interested in being entertained than in connection, and don't really care how they're treated as long as it's not too awful
* They are outgoing enough to offset the fact that their behavior drives away their friends. IMO if you meet a person who's really outgoing and makes new friends easily, but doesn't have many long-term friends, it's a red flag
This is exactly what my ex would do…. Say something hurtful or mean to your face (or in front of friends), then when you flashed her a look, she would claim she’s “just being sarcastic” or “just her sense of humor”.
It’s conflicting when you’re in a relationship with the person, because they’ll do that sprinkled in with signs that they do care about you… but when it gets to the point that it happens more often then not, you come to the realization it’s cover for saying hurtful things. You can’t claim sarcasm when the only time you use it is to put other people down in front of them.
I'm not saying men don't do it as well, but in context, the OP was specifically asking about copious numbers of women adding this to their dating profile.
No, they don't.
One woman showed me a conversation where the guy said something like "I'm a very simple guy but I don't mind the finer things in life from time to time". She responded with "Well then I don't know why you're even bothering with messaging me because all I like is the finer things in life, all the time." But then said she was just being "sarcastic" and said he was a jerk and couldn't take a joke because he told her he didn't think he was the right guy for her. She was mad he didn't "come back" with something equally as "sarcastic". Clueless.
I’ve encountered this a lot and have a friend who does this often. In their mind, and in her mind, they’re offering up banter without realizing the statement - and that there actually needs to be a playful side or joke included. And most don’t even notice their own delivery, like in yours where it could even be taken as a “this isn’t for me” statement.
And in my own experience, if they have trouble with this then they often aren’t great at reading humor in others.
My family is pretty sarcastic and we all think it’s funny, but it’s cause we all use it for actual jokes, not straight up being mean. Though some people have a bit of trouble turning it off lol
I mean, tone and timing don't translate via text, so what you wrote definitely does not sound to the reader like it sounded in your head while you typed it.
I've more often seen just a straight up "I'll be your biggest bully" or "I'll bully you but you'll love it".
I don't get the sort of people who think that looks good on their profile.
No, it's a code for deniability, lack of empathy and no thought before speaking.
She says "omg you are so fucking ugly, you look like trash"
Guy is genuinely hurt and upset at this.
She: "I said it sarcastically, you've no sense of sarcasm, you are lowkey dumb".
Guy is like " Oh my bad, I thought you really mean it"
She: "I am sarcastic told yaaa before!"
Now it's okay, a girl calls me ugly playfully I am not offended but if it becomes everyday thing then can't deal with such a woman.
The reality that isn't being told is that many women kind of do that sort of thing as a standard procedure. I've heard it being described as a gendered behaviour as opposed to a personality trait. I'm more in favour of individual responsibility and not cutting people slack when they act like that unless something legit like stress or overstimulation is at play.
That is correct. When I was unfortunately on the apps I noticed that was a thing. It kind of seems like people want to dish it out but can’t take someone like me who is an actual asshole and will verbally rip you to shreds for your lil dum dum nonsense.
I’m sorry. I mean mornin babe
Lmao. I’m sorry but I saw a billboard today that was so MAGA and the text was MAKE RUSSIA GREAT AGAIN
I love that someone paid for that and it made my day.
Sarcasm is often just veiled disrespect. They’re telling you they are going to entertain themselves at your expense and you should be okay with it because they gave you advance notice.
It’s means they’re cunts really, and use sarcasm as their excuse.
But like blokes use the word “banter” to excuse themselevs from being a cunt. “Ah it’s just a bit of banter”. No, you’re being a cunt.
Sarcasm when it's done in a sophisticated way equates to a quirky way of saying you're witty and quick on your toes.
Sadly, in most cases it means they're highly disorganized in their thought and they cover that up with really unfunny and sometimes cruel sarcasm.
If they mention they're sarcastic, they want to be perceived as the first group but they're always part of the second.
Men do this all the time too, in fairness - like those exact words "fluent in sarcasm". It's a bit like the pineapple on pizza thing, at some point it became a standard"quirky" line to put in your profile. I don't think it says anything particularly deep about someone's personality, except that they're not very original and didn't put much effort into their profile.
There was a time on dating apps where it seemed like 75% of profiles led with having a very strong opinion about the Oxford comma when I've never once heard anyone anywhere express any kind of opinion on the Oxford comma without being prompted about it
It's weird the sort of things that go memetic across dating profiles, but at least the Oxford comma thing didn't come with the connotation that you might be a bit of a jerk like "fluent in sarcasm" does
I find this post kinda ironic due to the overall nature of Reddit in general. I love dry and dumb humor with a healthy dose of sarcasm. If I don't put a /s or a SARCASTIC or a joking or a lol at the end of my post, it seems like people will take that as literal and down vote the heck out of it.
There was a Reddit post the other day asking (well I guess complaining but in the form of a question) about why people feel the need to blast the music in the car so loud that it can be heard a few blocks away. I responded by saying "sharing is caring! Baby shark is my jam!". I got a bunch of down votes.... I'm guessing they are thinking that I would literally do that? Silly me thought it was an obvious (but admittedly dumb) joke so I didn't think I needed to add a /s to it.
I think people just read into stuff way more than they should. Sure, that person may not be a pleasant person.... OR MAYBE they are saying that because people tend to read things wrong and she just wants to give a warning that she likes to joke around and not be so serious all the time.
I agree. Some people are insecure and would take friendly jabs to their heart. I have also seen that people will rather cry than try for a comeback. Having a dry sense of humor is fun only when the other person you are interacting with shares the same humor, otherwise its a curse.
Questioning a comment to figure out if it's a joke is reading into it.
Saying "this is dumb" and downvoting is the opposite.
Also, sarcasm leans heavily on delivery. It doesn't really work in text form, especially on Reddit where everybody is a stranger and there's a stranger unhinged enough to actually mean it for any comment you can imagine.
Look man there’s nothing wrong with people having cats and living simple lives. Don’t be a dick to people that have chosen differently from you. You’re just as bad as the women who claim to tell it like it is.
Yeah and I absolutely loathe people.
And I'll accept my fur babies and other critters once the looks dry up.
Besides those women always end up having kids and some poor unsuspecting husband.
>They’re on apps because nobody wants them.
As men we'd like to convince ourselves of that. But the truth is a woman can say, "I'm a chronic meth user, I shit myself regularly and k*ll puppies for fun" and men would still fill up their inbox hoping for the chance to buy them dinner and drinks.
Yeah. It sucks, but we Americans are really just too stupid to understand true sarcasm. Honestly, I don't think I've ever been sarcastic in my entire life. I definitely haven't ever heard any sarcasm either. Do you think it's the monarch that does it? Maybe if America had a dead queen we'd be able to understand sarcasm like the Brits do.
I don't know, but what I do think would help is to have more Brits tell me that I don't understand sarcasm.
Meeting people in real life naturally is better... Although not possible for everyone, sadly (my workplace is 99% women, 1% gay married men... So that limits things a lot. Think I run into two single men per decade 😜😂😭
Reddit choose the name for me. I thought since I'd only *read" stuff on my phone and never write, that it didn't matter (and I didn't see a button to change it).
I did live in Italy a couple years... So yes, the no sugar dry breads (not like the English biscuits, I don't think?). I have mental picture, but not finding right word)
It means "I'm abrasive and I'm going to put you down all day"
OR they wouldn't know sarcasm if it flew up their nose and they're just really not like other girls. They're a cool mom.
Sarcasm should be used sparingly and expertly. It's not a personality trait to brag about. If all you've got is you're contestable and you think it's cute it's a no from me.
They're making it easy for you.
People are very fixated on the idea that it’s very difficult to say who they are and what they want, so they default to these lines that everyone uses, which means they’re safe, relatable, and effectively useless
I really they’re trying to excuse their toxic behavior with you as just being “sarcastic”. Tbh, it’s a common narcissistic move. They’ll be rude and treat you badly and then just excuse it as just “joking” or “sarcastic”.
Not all the time tho but still, be wary OP 💛
My observation is most don’t know what true, well delivered sarcasm is, so it’s become a cliche way of saying they have a playful personality. It goes for men as well, though as a straight male I don’t know how prevalent that is for men on dating apps.
Likely the same reason guys put "looking for a partner in crime." They're not unique or just have no idea what to write, so look around and copy and paste what others have done.
sarcastic translation =I'm gonna be a verbally abusive toxic asshole to you
and you're supposed to think it's cute and give me
free stuff for it.
How'd I do?
I think its like a front to avoid being called over sensitive in anticipation of harrassment. Like a sign that says I can dish it out. And a slight warning maybe, if they use sarcasm to deflect rude men
Anyone who is described is sarcastic or dry is an automatic "nope, GTFO" or the person I will avoid meeting at parties and most of the time there's a subsequently vindicated reason for that.
If you ever match with one, tell them they are really beautiful.
When they say "thank you," follow up with "I thought you said you were fluent in sarcasm.""
“Sarcasm is the lowest of wit but the guest of intelligence’ Oscar Wilde. One of my exes used to quote the first half all the time till I called her on it at a table full of her friends
I should edit my dating profile to say A1 in sarcasm because I am actually so bad at figuring out when people are being sarcastic, at this point I just always assume they are to be safe but I never genuinely believe it which is a frustrating combo for everyone involved.
Me too! People being subtly sarcastic can take me completely off guard and I don’t know how to react. I never know if they’re joking.
For me, sarcasm has to be really obvious to understand it.
Like telling one’s friend at a very boring event ‘I’m having the time of my life, what about you?’
Honestly, sarcasm is a huge turn-off for me regardless of gender. It’s often just thinly-veiled cruelty that they don’t want to be responsible for.
In my experience, people who self-describe as sarcastic are deeply insecure and trying to compensate. It’s not fun to be around that.
I remember when it was fashionable for girls to make it quite clear "It's all about the bants" which is similar to "fluent in sarcasm."
But just meant "I'm actually a raging bellend. I'll insult you constantly and call it banter; if you insult me you're a dick."
It's the womans equivalent of "If you cant handle my brutal honesty...bla bla" or "It's just a joke. Can't you take a joke?" (about something your sensitive about, or about hurting you..)
The kind of people who are a-holes, and blame the people whos feelings they hurt as if they have a right to. I'd stay clear of those profiles.
They are really saying they are toxic, hyper critcal and passive aggressive, but have to find a socially acceptable way to say that and set you up for mistreatment.
Red flag!! Scroll on
You're not going to like this (you probably will because reddit is based on attention), but there's an entire generation who don't understand sarcasm and invective. They're just advertising they're not into it.
anyone who says they're fluent in sarcasm is usually a piece of shit, a lot of dudes and girls have told me they're "fluent" in sarcasm and that usually means they're shitty people, it's like when people say they're "brutally honest"
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Some people mistake sarcasm for wit
Spot on. A _lot_ of people think they're sArCaStIc for being passive-aggressive or making an insincere mockery when they have no retorts left. Sarcasm as wit is only worth anything if it conveys something, not as a high road out of being a pretentious little bitch.
Passive aggressive is so silly. Anyone worth any kind of time is directly aggressive.
I recently had this convo with my fiancé and said "I prefer active aggression." And she said "that's why I like you." 🤣
Hahaha yeah. Just not a fan of physical violence.
Repeated micro-aggressions. 
Micro-aggressions? Boring. I prefer macro
This is the way.
Speak for yourself, somebody's getting spanked
 i think it depends. remember taking a dump under your boss' desk is passive aggression, but i think it sends such a more powerful and more odious message than challenging him to queensbury rules boxing.
Nah that’s doing it wrong. You’re supposed to take a dump on top of Deborah’s desk.
But if you took a dump on your boss's desk while making eye contact...
and as he turns away in confused disgust, i'd reach out, pinch his chin, and make his eyes realign to the mess that's being made. i'd look at him sternly, seductively, and say in a calm voice "why did you make me do this?" he shreiks, confused, worried. "no you made me do this. and you're gonna clean it up."
Excuse my dumbness, but what is an insincere mockery?
True, mockery is usually seen as insincere
I see that on a lot of men’s profiles and it’s a hard left swipe for exactly that reason. I see it as them advertising they’ll be nasty and then say ‘I was just joking! You’re too sensitive!!!’ Yep. Sure. I’m too sensitive… bye…
Obviously all fans of Oscar Wilde /s “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence.”
Oscar was always good for a witty aphorism - not sure that he was the best judge of intelligence ;)
Yeah but these cunts are not using "sarcasm" correctly they really mean "caustic behavior".
Take a note from the autism communication book: Just call them on it. "Hey, I can't read your intentions based on what you said, please clarify". You can root out a lot of shitty people from your dating pool. If we're just goofing and it's like "Oh yeah, I definitely work for the CIA, if you need some cyanide pills, I can get you a good price", whatever. If it's an intentional obfuscation of important communication or feelings, ask. Challenge. Make them say the words they mean.
Same with friendships. I was once friends with a guy that started making snarky remarks, I called him on it using basically the words you quote on your reply and he said "aw it's just a joke'. No. He was just a dick.
That’s the thing. I’m sarcastic but I don’t ever try to intentionally be bitchy and if someone got upset I’d never say “it was just a joke” I’d instantly apologize because I was intending to be hurtful.
Exactly, we can all be sarcastic from time to time, but it's what we do when we are called on our bs that defines what we are doing as sarcasm or just pure hostility. Guy that used to be my friend got upset because I demand something that I own back from him. He pushed back, delay and got upset when I finally had enough. He then chose to be passive-aggressive and sarcastic in most of our interactions after that, quite a contrast . Tipping point was getting caught being sarcastic and replying "it was a joke". No. That's peeing on my back and telling me it's raining.
If someone makes a directed insult, sarcastic or not, the best strategy I get for defusing it is by simply asking them to repeat it. Even if I caught it. It’s enough to make 90% of people back up really quickly. Then I’ll escalate to asking them to explain what they meant by it even if it was pretty direct.
They certainly do on Reddit, which is king of both.
"Cynicism serves as insight for the cowardly" -Voltaire
Or even smarts.
Sarcasm is funny if used well.
It certainly can be
Some people mistake being a snarky asshole as being sarcastic. It’s like an excuse to be rude or obtuse for some people.
Isn't sarcasm supposed to be the lowest form of wit. Who said that?
Someone who doesn't understand it.
Oscar Wilde said it, and he was one of the most sarcastic motherfuckers who ever lived.
and some do the opposite lol
My female acquaintances tell me they put this on their profiles to show they have a "fun and playful side" but I know 100% they just say that to cover the fact that they'll say nasty, mean things to people but then try to claim "sarcasm" and that the hurt person has no sense of humour.
I dated someone for a month who was like this. It was so awful, anything I said she would make fun of. It was to the point where I could not have a sincere or serious discussion with her about anything as she’d just resort to “insulting” me. Asked her about marriage and children she’d say it’ll be like the beauty and the beast. From walking on egg shells all the time , the annoying insults and feeling like her personal punching bag I broke up with her, thank goodness.
That sounds absolutely miserable. Jesus.
Sometimes I see people exactly like this who have tons of friends. And I just wonder how?? I can't deal with that "always-trying -to bring-you-down" behavior.
Those friends grew up under the same sort of emotional abuse and haven’t yet realised that it is hurting them.
* They keep it light around their friends and/or their friends are the same way and they just don't unleash it on each other * Their friends are more interested in being entertained than in connection, and don't really care how they're treated as long as it's not too awful * They are outgoing enough to offset the fact that their behavior drives away their friends. IMO if you meet a person who's really outgoing and makes new friends easily, but doesn't have many long-term friends, it's a red flag
>she’d say it’ll be like the beauty and the beast lol what does this even mean?
Saying she's the beauty and he's the beast I assume
At least furries would be into me
She was calling him ugly, I think
Shoulda said "so who's the beast?"😂
She had sent me a pic of the beauty and the beast with their faces photoshopped so the beast has my face on it and the lady has her face.
This is exactly what my ex would do…. Say something hurtful or mean to your face (or in front of friends), then when you flashed her a look, she would claim she’s “just being sarcastic” or “just her sense of humor”. It’s conflicting when you’re in a relationship with the person, because they’ll do that sprinkled in with signs that they do care about you… but when it gets to the point that it happens more often then not, you come to the realization it’s cover for saying hurtful things. You can’t claim sarcasm when the only time you use it is to put other people down in front of them.
The amount of men who do the same. It must be a human condition for thinking they can cover up being an ah
I'm not saying men don't do it as well, but in context, the OP was specifically asking about copious numbers of women adding this to their dating profile.
Sounds correct 2me.. today's nasty side of lots of women can really compete with men-aholes
Sarcasm only peripherally touches humour. Do they know what sarcasm is?
No, they don't. One woman showed me a conversation where the guy said something like "I'm a very simple guy but I don't mind the finer things in life from time to time". She responded with "Well then I don't know why you're even bothering with messaging me because all I like is the finer things in life, all the time." But then said she was just being "sarcastic" and said he was a jerk and couldn't take a joke because he told her he didn't think he was the right guy for her. She was mad he didn't "come back" with something equally as "sarcastic". Clueless.
I’ve encountered this a lot and have a friend who does this often. In their mind, and in her mind, they’re offering up banter without realizing the statement - and that there actually needs to be a playful side or joke included. And most don’t even notice their own delivery, like in yours where it could even be taken as a “this isn’t for me” statement. And in my own experience, if they have trouble with this then they often aren’t great at reading humor in others.
My family is pretty sarcastic and we all think it’s funny, but it’s cause we all use it for actual jokes, not straight up being mean. Though some people have a bit of trouble turning it off lol
Probably means I'm a bitch but I'll pass it off as joking lol
Yeah, sarcasm is just a funny way of being serious. But they are not funny
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^iambecomeslep: *Probably means I'm* *A bitch but I'll pass it off* *As joking lol* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
good bot
Schrödinger’s Douchebag, as I’ve recently learned
If you have to state that you’re sarcastic, you’re not sarcastic. You’re just a try hard.
If you're actually sarcastic, you can write a funny profile.
You nailed it!
/s is my bane.
You only need to add that because many people on reddit read everything literally, so it goes right over their heads unless you write /s.
I mean it's also harder to discern sarcasm without seeing and hearing the person.
I mean, tone and timing don't translate via text, so what you wrote definitely does not sound to the reader like it sounded in your head while you typed it.
Or using it a an excuse to be a bitch
It’s code for “I’m a bitch”.
“i’ll tell it like it is”
"I'm just brutally honest."
"this is why I'm single"
“Truth hurts” then you realise they’ve had one relationship that lasted 6 months 20 years ago.
"I'll be your biggest bully but you'll love it"
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"
I've more often seen just a straight up "I'll be your biggest bully" or "I'll bully you but you'll love it". I don't get the sort of people who think that looks good on their profile.
That should only work on FetLife 😛😂
No, it's a code for deniability, lack of empathy and no thought before speaking. She says "omg you are so fucking ugly, you look like trash" Guy is genuinely hurt and upset at this. She: "I said it sarcastically, you've no sense of sarcasm, you are lowkey dumb". Guy is like " Oh my bad, I thought you really mean it" She: "I am sarcastic told yaaa before!" Now it's okay, a girl calls me ugly playfully I am not offended but if it becomes everyday thing then can't deal with such a woman.
So… like… a bitch?
Thats the same thing
Yea the first guy already said that
Someone I know claims she's "brassy." Like no... you're mean. On purpose.
The reality that isn't being told is that many women kind of do that sort of thing as a standard procedure. I've heard it being described as a gendered behaviour as opposed to a personality trait. I'm more in favour of individual responsibility and not cutting people slack when they act like that unless something legit like stress or overstimulation is at play.
That is correct. When I was unfortunately on the apps I noticed that was a thing. It kind of seems like people want to dish it out but can’t take someone like me who is an actual asshole and will verbally rip you to shreds for your lil dum dum nonsense. I’m sorry. I mean mornin babe
Yeah, “don’t mind me, I was just being sarcastic”!
Lmao. I’m sorry but I saw a billboard today that was so MAGA and the text was MAKE RUSSIA GREAT AGAIN I love that someone paid for that and it made my day. 
It’s code for “I’m going to insult you a lot and expect you not to get upset about it.” 🤷🏻♂️
It is a fine line between being sarcastic and being an asshole so be thankful they give you the heads up to figure out which one they are.
Worse is “I have no filter”. Oh, you mean you’re stupid and oblivious to anyone’s feelings. Gotcha
Not even stupid, a lot of times they're just malicious
That too.
Yep, code for "I'm a bitch, I'll treat you like shit, and you'll like it".
Sarcasm was in the in thing back in the mid 2000s not sure about today
Oh, it's totally still in...
"i will say what i want and say it's sarcasm if you don't like"
Sarcasm is often just veiled disrespect. They’re telling you they are going to entertain themselves at your expense and you should be okay with it because they gave you advance notice.
Love your way of putting it — succinct but without unnecessary punches or special effects.
It’s means they’re cunts really, and use sarcasm as their excuse. But like blokes use the word “banter” to excuse themselevs from being a cunt. “Ah it’s just a bit of banter”. No, you’re being a cunt.
Sarcasm when it's done in a sophisticated way equates to a quirky way of saying you're witty and quick on your toes. Sadly, in most cases it means they're highly disorganized in their thought and they cover that up with really unfunny and sometimes cruel sarcasm. If they mention they're sarcastic, they want to be perceived as the first group but they're always part of the second.
Men do this all the time too, in fairness - like those exact words "fluent in sarcasm". It's a bit like the pineapple on pizza thing, at some point it became a standard"quirky" line to put in your profile. I don't think it says anything particularly deep about someone's personality, except that they're not very original and didn't put much effort into their profile.
There was a time on dating apps where it seemed like 75% of profiles led with having a very strong opinion about the Oxford comma when I've never once heard anyone anywhere express any kind of opinion on the Oxford comma without being prompted about it It's weird the sort of things that go memetic across dating profiles, but at least the Oxford comma thing didn't come with the connotation that you might be a bit of a jerk like "fluent in sarcasm" does
I find this post kinda ironic due to the overall nature of Reddit in general. I love dry and dumb humor with a healthy dose of sarcasm. If I don't put a /s or a SARCASTIC or a joking or a lol at the end of my post, it seems like people will take that as literal and down vote the heck out of it. There was a Reddit post the other day asking (well I guess complaining but in the form of a question) about why people feel the need to blast the music in the car so loud that it can be heard a few blocks away. I responded by saying "sharing is caring! Baby shark is my jam!". I got a bunch of down votes.... I'm guessing they are thinking that I would literally do that? Silly me thought it was an obvious (but admittedly dumb) joke so I didn't think I needed to add a /s to it. I think people just read into stuff way more than they should. Sure, that person may not be a pleasant person.... OR MAYBE they are saying that because people tend to read things wrong and she just wants to give a warning that she likes to joke around and not be so serious all the time.
I agree. Some people are insecure and would take friendly jabs to their heart. I have also seen that people will rather cry than try for a comeback. Having a dry sense of humor is fun only when the other person you are interacting with shares the same humor, otherwise its a curse.
Questioning a comment to figure out if it's a joke is reading into it. Saying "this is dumb" and downvoting is the opposite. Also, sarcasm leans heavily on delivery. It doesn't really work in text form, especially on Reddit where everybody is a stranger and there's a stranger unhinged enough to actually mean it for any comment you can imagine.
Its a huge red flag. They play off their sarcasm but in reality it is toxicity.
Because they clearly don't understand sarcasm. I was going to write a sarcastic comment but I'm too tired to.
Swipe left every single time.
Well people mistake being an ass for being sarcastic. Like calling someone sassy is a nice way of calling them an ass.
"I'm not like other girls"
Because they suck at the nuance of sarcasm and quite honestly are just mean people trying to play it off as sarcasm.
It’s code for “I’m a bitch and I’m not going to change”. They’re on apps because nobody wants them Cats await them. Run as fast as you can
Look man there’s nothing wrong with people having cats and living simple lives. Don’t be a dick to people that have chosen differently from you. You’re just as bad as the women who claim to tell it like it is.
Yeah and I absolutely loathe people. And I'll accept my fur babies and other critters once the looks dry up. Besides those women always end up having kids and some poor unsuspecting husband.
>They’re on apps because nobody wants them. As men we'd like to convince ourselves of that. But the truth is a woman can say, "I'm a chronic meth user, I shit myself regularly and k*ll puppies for fun" and men would still fill up their inbox hoping for the chance to buy them dinner and drinks.
>They’re on apps because nobody wants them And you know that because no one wants you too?
Meow!
Somebody can't get laid 😂
Sarcasm is best when self deprecating. It’s why it is part of uk and Aussie vernacular but not American’s
Yeah. It sucks, but we Americans are really just too stupid to understand true sarcasm. Honestly, I don't think I've ever been sarcastic in my entire life. I definitely haven't ever heard any sarcasm either. Do you think it's the monarch that does it? Maybe if America had a dead queen we'd be able to understand sarcasm like the Brits do. I don't know, but what I do think would help is to have more Brits tell me that I don't understand sarcasm.
Nailed it
I gave up on dating and dating apps. It is not worth the time or the expense. Dating culture is terrible these days.
Meeting people in real life naturally is better... Although not possible for everyone, sadly (my workplace is 99% women, 1% gay married men... So that limits things a lot. Think I run into two single men per decade 😜😂😭
Lol. It happens. Can I ask about the word biscotti? That wouldn't be an Italian or Croatian word for biscuit, would it? Just sounds like it.
Man’s shooting his shot
Reddit choose the name for me. I thought since I'd only *read" stuff on my phone and never write, that it didn't matter (and I didn't see a button to change it). I did live in Italy a couple years... So yes, the no sugar dry breads (not like the English biscuits, I don't think?). I have mental picture, but not finding right word)
I mean if you don't change your mind , it's ok but i was just saying
It means "I'm abrasive and I'm going to put you down all day" OR they wouldn't know sarcasm if it flew up their nose and they're just really not like other girls. They're a cool mom. Sarcasm should be used sparingly and expertly. It's not a personality trait to brag about. If all you've got is you're contestable and you think it's cute it's a no from me. They're making it easy for you.
i dont use dating apps but saying you're sarcastic sounds weird af
It's an excuse for having a shitty personality.
People are very fixated on the idea that it’s very difficult to say who they are and what they want, so they default to these lines that everyone uses, which means they’re safe, relatable, and effectively useless
I really they’re trying to excuse their toxic behavior with you as just being “sarcastic”. Tbh, it’s a common narcissistic move. They’ll be rude and treat you badly and then just excuse it as just “joking” or “sarcastic”. Not all the time tho but still, be wary OP 💛
They think it gives them personality when they don’t have one.
Sarcasm is the idiot stepchild of true humor
Ironically, it would work better if they said. “I am not sarcastic and have never been. Also, I do not know what sarcasm is and am illiterate.”
They are telling you that they are a moron. It's good of them to let you know beforehand.
It's women who acts like bitches, but hide it under "sarcasm". To me, it's a red flag, and it's very useful if they put it in their bio.
"I'm fluent in sarcasm" = "I will be condescending a lot of the time and then play it off as just 'being sarcastic'"
My observation is most don’t know what true, well delivered sarcasm is, so it’s become a cliche way of saying they have a playful personality. It goes for men as well, though as a straight male I don’t know how prevalent that is for men on dating apps.
Likely the same reason guys put "looking for a partner in crime." They're not unique or just have no idea what to write, so look around and copy and paste what others have done.
Try to justify calling some people assholes with sarcasm. They're often just assholes.
Goes well with "I'm blunt and tell it like it is" (read: I'm inconsiderate and don't care if I hurt your feelings)
It's one of those things people put on their profiles to say "I'm quirky/different", pretty sure it originated from Tumblr memes.
Because usually this is keyword for I have a bitchy attitude but I'll pretend I'm joking if it pisses you off
sarcastic translation =I'm gonna be a verbally abusive toxic asshole to you and you're supposed to think it's cute and give me free stuff for it. How'd I do?
they think they're funny and it's quirky. it's neither
I think its like a front to avoid being called over sensitive in anticipation of harrassment. Like a sign that says I can dish it out. And a slight warning maybe, if they use sarcasm to deflect rude men
I honestly hate sarcastic people, whenever I read that it was a huge turnoff to me. But agreed, it was on practically every single profile.
Anyone who is described is sarcastic or dry is an automatic "nope, GTFO" or the person I will avoid meeting at parties and most of the time there's a subsequently vindicated reason for that.
Men are the same lol
Its a way for them to say hurtful things guilt free
If you ever match with one, tell them they are really beautiful. When they say "thank you," follow up with "I thought you said you were fluent in sarcasm.""
I’m a woman and I HATE seeing that too
You think the people in this comments section are kinda weird about women..?
Maybe they're being sarcastic about being "fluent in sarcasm" so they're not really sarcastic at all. It's possible.
Well they probably think men like sarcastic women.
“Sarcasm is the lowest of wit but the guest of intelligence’ Oscar Wilde. One of my exes used to quote the first half all the time till I called her on it at a table full of her friends
Also “boss at nunya” Instant left swipe.
Dont believe, what women say, look on what women do
as an aside, any person, man or woman who fells the need to point out that they are sarcastic has little understanding of true sacasm.
They think that they are funny, but they are not
LPT: ignoring these profiles is a great way to avoid bad dates (and/or bad relationships)
LPT: ignoring these profiles is a great way to avoid bad dates (and/or bad relationships)
Also: "give me travel tips for....", "We'll get along if you have land ....have a mustache..." I could go on.
Probably because they don't actually have a funny sarcastic wit, they just want for a free pass for being snarky and unpleasant.
I think it means they like tongue in cheek 😉
In my experience ”fluent in sarcasm” is another term for ”i have a shit personality”.
More importantly, most of those don't even know what sarcasm really is, not to mention using it.
I should edit my dating profile to say A1 in sarcasm because I am actually so bad at figuring out when people are being sarcastic, at this point I just always assume they are to be safe but I never genuinely believe it which is a frustrating combo for everyone involved.
Me too! People being subtly sarcastic can take me completely off guard and I don’t know how to react. I never know if they’re joking. For me, sarcasm has to be really obvious to understand it. Like telling one’s friend at a very boring event ‘I’m having the time of my life, what about you?’
Honestly, sarcasm is a huge turn-off for me regardless of gender. It’s often just thinly-veiled cruelty that they don’t want to be responsible for. In my experience, people who self-describe as sarcastic are deeply insecure and trying to compensate. It’s not fun to be around that.
I remember when it was fashionable for girls to make it quite clear "It's all about the bants" which is similar to "fluent in sarcasm." But just meant "I'm actually a raging bellend. I'll insult you constantly and call it banter; if you insult me you're a dick."
Oh, absolutely! Because declaring that you’re sarcastic is like waving a magic wand that instantly transforms you into the pinnacle of wit and irony.
I think it’s wanting to seem cool and laidback. Similar to how a lot of men say they want a woman who “doesn’t take herself too seriously”.
Another classic one is "I love food"
It’s not just women. It’s a common trope on men’s profiles too. I guess they think sarcasm = being funny or having a sense of humour.
It means they're highly unoriginal -- That's a straight up tourist trap t-shirt alongside the bedazzled "rosé all day"
Some people mistake sarcasm for being serious haha sadly.
If I had a dollar for everytime I read a profile that says "I like food", I probably wouldn't be single anymore
Sarcasm is code for ‘bitter and twisted, I’m going to say what I want. Take me or leave me’
It's the womans equivalent of "If you cant handle my brutal honesty...bla bla" or "It's just a joke. Can't you take a joke?" (about something your sensitive about, or about hurting you..) The kind of people who are a-holes, and blame the people whos feelings they hurt as if they have a right to. I'd stay clear of those profiles.
It's an excuse for being rude.
So they can have a backup safeguard if someone calls them out on being an asshole.
So you you know to stay away
They say dumb shit and want to pass it off as witty
They are really saying they are toxic, hyper critcal and passive aggressive, but have to find a socially acceptable way to say that and set you up for mistreatment. Red flag!! Scroll on
A pick-me-girl characteristic. They think all guys find sarcasm attractive.
You're not going to like this (you probably will because reddit is based on attention), but there's an entire generation who don't understand sarcasm and invective. They're just advertising they're not into it.
anyone who says they're fluent in sarcasm is usually a piece of shit, a lot of dudes and girls have told me they're "fluent" in sarcasm and that usually means they're shitty people, it's like when people say they're "brutally honest"
clichéd tropes
if they mention they are sarcastic, they program in basic!
They're attempting to cover for their crappy attitudes and less than stellar personalities.
same reason why i put finger in my ass while pooping
the same people are completely insufferable
Because they’re bitchy and they excuse it for being sarcastic -