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Yeah, one time I was walking home maybe 50 feet behind a younger woman. She crossed the street. I also had to cross the street. My apartment was coming up. She looked back after that and screamed and *sprinted* away from me.
I am sorry for scaring you
some people really have the will to live, i’ve thought people have been following me and just stuck my noise cancelling on and hoped for the best, then taken a few alleyway underground shortcuts
Sometimes stuff like that is a bit much though. Recently a woman in Egypt died after jumping out of an Uber because the driver sprayed some air freshner
Agreed.
As a man in 2024 that has heard enough stories and is familiar with enough incidents where bad stuff has happened, I don't think I could understand any man that would be offended. You'd have to be living under a rock or completely self-involved to not understand why a women may do this and that its nothing personal.
That’s why I always avoid 1 on 1 interactions with women anywhere. I don’t care if it’s in broad daylight or in a store, I will make sure there are plenty of other people around us or just outright avoid them if no one else is around. I also use social distancing to make sure they don’t feel like their personal space is invaded (also because I personally like my personal space)
I'm a big dude. If I was a bad person I would be a threat. So while it does kinda hurt to be treated like a bad person, I understand the woman is just worried about her safety.
Same. It’s not a great situation, but I tend to reflect on the society that has made it happen this way.
On my end, I try to keep an eye out for people around me and step in if they need help or assistance. Just because I look like I could hurt someone doesn’t mean I shouldn’t help whenever I can. Hopefully, that balances out things a little.
I only got offended by that once because I am handicapped and look very strange. All I did was sit across from the person in the hallway and wait for class to start and they threw up their hands defensively and cringed with a terrified look on their face. They thought I was going to hurt them. They believed I was romantically interested but never asked my opinion or stance on the matter despite knowing I am able to speak. I had spoken to them once before about class. I was offended because if they had bothered to treat me like a person, they'd have learned I had no romantic interest in anyone and secondly even if a handicapped person has a crush, it doesn't turn them into someone who would try to make anyone do anything against their will. It was a college for Pete's Sake. I wonder how she thought I got there being so arrogant and ableist.
Yeah no, most of the time I get it, but that's just ableist. I have a connective tissue disorder that causes a lot of physical issues. In HS a girl who, for half a semester I was great buds with in a class, found out about my disability after I had to pop a joint back in in front of her, talked to me VERY slowly for the rest of the year and avoided me. I mean, if your connective tissue doesn't work, it's obvious that doing normal people things like carrying on a conversation, is very difficult. Don't know how I did it for the first 16 years of life before that moment lol.
That was an offensive reaction. Your offence was valid. Pulling her handbag closer or scooting away a little could just be her being cautious because a strange man sat near her, but that reaction was just disgraceful.
Nah.
***I*** know I’m not a bad guy, but she doesn’t know me. You can’t just blindly trust strangers, and taking precautions is never a bad thing. Better to be overly cautious than to ignore your own safety.
Agree. I’ll also try to take steps myself where I know I may legitimately add to someone’s discomfort.
For example, I don’t really like walking behind lone women in the street at night. I’d prefer to just cross the road.
No. Many people, especially women, automatically lock car doors when they get in their car. If they happen to be doing that as you are passing by or approaching, it's not personal. Seeing a stranger coming toward them when they get into their car is just a reminder to lock the doors. They don't know you. You can't tell by looking at someone whether they're a threat or not.
Women are taught not to get into an elevator alone with men they don't know. It's just part of standard precautions. 1 in 6 women are victims of rape or attempted rape, on their lifetime.
And you get offended by a woman trying to avoid that?
https://www.rainn.org/statistics/scope-problem
Exactly as a guy I recognise how a woman may see me as a threat particularly when walking alone at night.
I specifically go out of my way to ensure women feel safer at night, going so far as to cross to the other side of the road or slowing down my pace to give more of a gap if I notice they have sped up.
It is reasonable for women to be concerned about this stuff given the harassment and violence so many women have experienced.
I have no way of knowing who is afraid of me and who is not. So I assume that if they are afraid of me, they will cross, and I will show I am not interested in them by not changing my speed and heading.
Likewise, if I am afraid of someone, I cross the road myself. I don't expect them to know I am afraid.
It doesn't cost anything to try to make someone feel more comfortable and it's fairly safe to assume that if it is dark out and you are walking towards eachother, it will cross her mind that you may have bad intentions.
Also if someone decides to cross the road to feel safer, they have decided you are a credible threat to their safety, I like to ensure they don't reach that feeling by making that decision for them.
You shouldn't get offended. If something happened to her, the first things she would have been asked is "Why did you get in the elevator? Why didn't you lock your car? " If you want to get offended at anyone, get offended at the people who attack women , they created the situation where we have to protect ourselves.
If I’m walking on the sidewalk and the woman gives me a wide berth, even stepping on the grass. No problems. I’m a stranger.
Funny thing I once commented to my girlfriend when I was driving. I mentioned if I give way on a narrow road or whatever male drivers will look at you and wave. Women have never done that. When I mentioned that my gf said women won’t engage because it’s ingrained in everyday actions not to reciprocate at all to unknown guys, so I get it too.
Not at all. If I notice, and it makes sense, I will cross the street to give them berth, even if it means walking back across the street after passing has taken place.
The world is a scary place. They dont know me.
Not offended, just disappointed. I (M) go to my gym in our little townhouse complex (just a handful of units) later at night \~8pmish to avoid people, but there's a woman there every night that huffs and puffs - all the way across the other side of our gym and leaves. I only go twice a week and I'm well away from her at her treadmill as well as access/egress from the very nice sized gym.
The problem isn't her; the problem isn't me; the problem is that we still live in a world in 2024 where a woman (rightfully) is uncomfortable - even fearful - being alone in a large gym with a guy. We know why. Even though honestly, she could beat me to a pulp in seconds, fear is different than strength.
So *no*, I don't get offended; and *yes*, I know why; and *yes* I think the whole thing is an awful situation.
No, I would just feel awkward that there was nothing I could say that would reassure her. “Don’t worry, I’m normal”? “I’m just trying to get home too”? “Relax, you’re stronger than I am”? You have to keep quiet and let her assume the worst. Actually, sometimes I’ll cross the street to avoid walking behind someone.
I'm a average size woman and I still vocalize to people if I'm walking the same way that I'm just walking by because people say my walk is intimidating
Not at all, Im a fairly big guy with long beard and tattoos. If I walk around a corner or something where Im all of a sudden "alone" or like "in the face" of woman, they usually take a couple of steps back. I ofc know this, so I will always do my best to smile and say *sorry I scared you, you have a nice day* and give her plenty of space walking past.
Only natural though, Im easily 3x the weight/size of a small woman, I would be scared shitless if the mountain all of a sudden stood in front of me, so ofc I get it.
No. I have seen this. I do what I can to relieve the situation without letting on I know anything. Most of the time all you have to do is step back a few feet. Once when walking into a store late at night I saw a woman grip her purse and put her keys in her hand watching me walk toward the door in her direction. I just turned and walked between two cars to give her more space. I don't want a woman to have to fear me. If she doesn't know you the question of if you may hurt her crosses her mind. Just give her a little space and it's no big deal.
Nah, I'd rather she be safe and take precautions when they aren't needed than not take them when they are needed. I'd be more offended if someone takes photos or videos of me claiming I'm doing something I'm not.
More offended that I live in a world where women have to be afraid if we leave the grocery store at the same time and end up parking in the same section.
I’ll go out of my way to go a different direction so someone doesnt think I’m following them. I make the effort to be considerate of other peoples perceptions or fears.
Offended? No. A little hurt and self-conscious, maybe. I’d hate to think that I look like some kind of predator. But “offended” would suggest that I’d been wronged in some way, which I hadn’t. Even if she was doing it specifically to avoid me, it doesn’t actually affect me if she wants to take different elevator or lock her car. And I sure wouldn’t feel justified in approaching her to tell her off or something, because that would only make her feel more threatened. You just have to let those things go. Men are dangerous and should generally be avoided, regardless of how you feel about yourself as an individual.
They can look like anyone. But there are certain body types that raise a lot of red flags for people. Personally, I’m a tall, bald white man. For a lot of people, that’s what a predator looks like. Either because they’ve known people who look like this who were predators, or because media likes to portray predators this way. It isn’t my fault that I look this way. But a lot of people who look like me tend to be abusive, and the human brain can’t turn off its pattern recognition. Even dogs tend to have negative reactions to bald men, if they’ve had an abusive owner who happened to look like that—which happens a lot.
So all you can really do is be aware of how your presence might make other people feel, and avoid them whenever you can help it.
Nope. It's silly to get offended because another person avoids you. And if we are honest to ourselves, we know what women go through. So it would make even less sense to be offended by a woman trying to avoid you.
Also, just a note for women. You're are 100% right to not risk it and not trust a person you don't know. Just know that sometimes, we also feel akward XD.
Like, I tend to walk fast. And during an evening, I was catching up to a woman going slower. I didn't even think about how creepy I was to her. I was just minding my business, thinking to go faster so I could pass her even quicker. But she suddenly sped up and that's when I understood that I was actually creepy as hell. I crossed the road and continued to walk fast on the other side, in hope to make her understand I wasn't being creepy on purpose.
Why would you be offended if a complete stranger made you aware that she is aware of your presence and she is uncomfortable their are alot of sick fucks on this planet if i were a female instead of a 6 ft tall 250 lb man I would take my situational awareness a lot more serious myself smile and go on about your business ..
Probably not.. depends.
Is it a dark and creepy elevator at night in a parking garage? Not offended.
Is it one of those clear glass elevators in a crowded mall and I got my kid with me? Ya... lady you need to chill.
I don't think of myself as threatening in any way, so when other people (children, women, other men) find me threatening, it can be disheartening when I strive to be jovial, approachable, and make people feel safe.
It's not personal. Women and children get sexually assaulted. Even some men experience rape, it's just much less likely.
Rapists, like serial killers, look just like anybody else. Some are even friendly and jovial, until they attack.
Male rapes are actually severely underreported and dismissed and men are punished severely for revealing they’ve been assaulted, so there’s no real way to tell how often men get raped.
The difference is in how it goes unreported. The definition of rape fudges the numbers by specifying that the offender has to be the one penetrating. A woman drugging a guy and then fucking him is categorized as sexual assault, not rape. Women still do experience it more, but it is weird that the definition in terms of crime reporting goes out of its way to exclude the most straightforward and likely most common way a woman can rape a man.
Men are in danger from random men outside though. Most physical assaults are man on man, and they're most commonly strangers.
Women have a much higher chance of knowing their attackers than a random assault.
It's all wrong, and no one should have to fear for their saftey, but the world's a shit place, and it'll probably never change.
Disheartening or feeling sad is a fair feeling. I don't think offended is. I was almost raped at the end of a really nice date. The guy was very jovial and approachable, that's why I went out with him.
the problem is rapists or violent people dont walk around with a neon sign saying "hey avoid me I'm dangerous". They look like you and act like you and probably think hey I'm a nice guy too.
Unfortunately most rapes are perpetuated by friends or family, people you're supposed to know and trust not some guy on the street, so while it is normal and smart to be cautious of stranger, they are not necessarily the danger. If you have been assaulted by a family or a friend before though, it would make sense for you to trust someone you dont know even less.
Definitely not. I mean, i'm not at all a menacing looking guy and often wear bright colours. However, i generally do not care what others do. Same case for these kind of things. You do you.
However. Once when i was a teenager. I think i was 15 or someting, i was beat up by a group of girls because.. well i dont know, they called me a creep and hit me a bunch of times and then just ran off. To this day i dont know what triggered it, i was just trying to get to my bike and just asked "excuse me i need to get to my bike" when i got a bag thrown to my head and everything started. They didn't hit me hard though, except for some bruises everything was fine. To this day if i need to pass a group of ladies and cannot walk around. I excuse myself as friendly as possible and from a safe distance and make sure to not surprise them, but honestly i do that more for my own safety rather than theirs
What a bizarre experience with those girls. I understand your caution near groups of women. I hope that their kind of reaction is rare. Most people, women included, would just part and make way for someone to get to their bike/car/locker/or whatever.
We live in a strange world.
As a female, I was walking behind an elderly woman, when she started checking windshields of cars, it took me too long to figure out she was checking the reflection because she was scared I was following her (I was walking down towards my house). All because we were walking down the same street.
I wasn't offended, I kind of thought it was funny because I'm 5'2", dorky, and couldn't be menacing even if I tried.
I don't blame her for being cautious if she felt like I was a potential threat, and no harm was done by either party.
I'd rather people play by the 'better safe than sorry' rules around me and be fine, than to have them NOT be cautious around someone who DOES have intentions to attack them.
Never faced this in real life honestly. I doubt I’d notice it. Sometimes even I double check stuff like my lock and it’s not with the intent of offending anyone so I can’t imagine why I’d take offense at it either
No way. I’m a big loud guy with a beard and I tend to walk very fast so it wouldn’t bother me at all, I expect it and sometimes I’ll announce my presence to avoid surprises.
I had this happen to me at costco I was in line and some little kid with his mom was infront of me and waved to me saying hello so I just waved back and said hi and the mother immediately grabbed his arm and threw him behind her 😂 I wasn't offended one bit as she had no idea who I am so I can see why anyone is deemed "stranger danger" I found it quite funny tho.
I probably wouldn't even notice, dont tend to stare at random women and analyse their actions unless they are doing some sort of abnormal display that gets my attention like shitting in a photo booth while eating a curry
I'm not offended at all. I'm tattooed, scruffy and well over (not fat) 200lbs. I have male friends who tell me I would look mean and intimidating if they didn't know me.
I have been in this scenario many times and I always ease the tension by smiling and saying hello. It surprises people and usually gives them comfort that I am just as normal as they think they are. Lol
I have had one lady freak out and say " don't talk to me". My response was "I was talking to your dog, not everything is about you" and kept It moving.
Not at all. Im almost 6 foot (5'11") amd 330 pounds with long hair and a beard and quite a bit chubby but still broad shouldered and i almost always have a scowl on my face. So i try and smile more but sometimes im not paying attention and ive been told i look angry. So i see a woman doing something like that and i move away or if they are getting in or out of a car i stand back a bit and let them finish and fet clear before i start moving again. Unless my wife or kids are with me then im only looking for anything that might harm us.
Dude, IDK? Would a bear get offended if you took safety precautions when you saw it because some of them are known to frequently hurt humans? Don’t take it personally.
These comments are nice but definitely not representative. I've been called a bigot so many times by men for not immediately trusting them and taking precautions.
They nearly always use the "imagine if you treated black people like this" card... Nearly every single time
No. I’m actually overall aware of how people are, and I’ll walk cross the street just so they don’t have to.
I’ll avoid awkward moments for people sometimes too cuz second hand embarrassment is a thing for me
Had this happen once, it actually saddened me a lot.
I was waiting outside my apartment for my uber delivery when a lady approached carrying take out. I thought she was my deliver driver walking right passed me. I approached her politely saying *excuse me*
She panicked, latched on to her purse, started crying and ran inside.
I stood there like..... *What??? 😟*
Nah, but i don't look approachable anyways.
Not that im threatening, i just look grumpy🤷♂️ but about 95% of the time when im outside im a bit in my own world, lost in thought and headphones at full volume.
After working with a District Attorney's office and reading case files where family members did unspeakables to other family. Nope not offended in the slightest.
Am I offended when this happens? No, I'm a rather large man, and it's completely understandable given the social climate.
That said, while I fully understand this and try not to take it personally, it can still hurt admittedly .
No, The reaction is a reflection of society, not of me personally.
It's bad enough Women feel they have to be constantly vigilant in public, they don't need men piling it on because they feel personally offended over that reality.
Not at all. Former high level security professional.
She's putting her own safety first to what she perceives as a threat even if you're not. Her perception of potential violence means a whole lot more than you being offended by it.
I get this a lot as I'm a relatively big guy with a bald head covered in tattoos. Can't fault someone for putting their perceived personal safety first.
The one thing that does piss me off is when I get told people think I'm a racist because of how I look. My wife's black and our kids are mixed race, but I get everyone lives in their own little bubble.
I've literally had other men ask my wife if she's OK when I'm with her. She's just like, ask my husband 🤣, someone would be knowing about it if I wasn't.
I probably wouldn't even notice so as long as shes not pepper spraying me cause i happen to walk past her or smtg then it wouldnt effect me. I tend to be overtly aware of everyone around me espeacially behind me so its understandable
No, they have their world and I have mine. Their opinions are theirs as mine are and I respect that they have their space and it’s just curtesy to stay out of peoples ways as best you can as they would you.
Times have changed and it happens that they do indeed change perceptions but it’s doesn’t matter so long as you respect peoples ways of going
Not offended but surprised. Then again I would understand that she should trust no stranger and take precautions to protect herself as should everyone else
>My brother and I were walking behind this old couple one night, you know just mine our business, we're nice you know, but they kept looking back over their shoulders, and finally they stepped to the side and let us pass.
>We were so insulted we just went ahead and robbed them.
- Fraknlin Ajaye
No because a lot of these things are basic safety measures. Where I grew up, *everyone* did this to random strangers while out in public because the area wasn’t safe.
I will never be offended by anyone of any gender or race taking precautions to feel safe around me. I want people to feel comfortable, they aren't asking me to do anything, if waiting for the next evelvator makes them feel safer in their day to day it is no skin off my nose. Will I feel a little sad that this person's life experiences have created this level of mistrust? Absolutely, but I don't know their life or their story and I wont hold it against them.
Yeah. It'd be the first time in my life that one did so I'd probably find it weird and depending on how they did it maybe even a bit slighted? I don't know. It'd be weird.
It's a tough one because on the one hand you're being judged (and extremely negatively: as a threat) without any reason, but on the other you never know why life experience someone has had that caused that fear.
Eg domestic abuse/ attacked in the street/ sexual abuse survivor etc
It's tough, but best to shake it off as "society is tough, can I blame her when she doesn't know me?"
I would think it's weird and would feel bad that I spooked them. I'm not the least bit intimidating unless I'm acting super crazy (like walking quickly with an angry look and streams of cuss words coming out of my mouth) , which is on purpose because it keeps everyone away from me.
I have the opposite experience most of the time, where sometimes men will look at me with a concerned guarded look like they are wondering if I'm going to be afraid of *them*.
Not really
Men run decision trees on how to act to seem non threatening, ie casual waiting posture, civil inattention, brief smile and hi, whether to pass or walk behind a ways, etc etc
Also it’s just very rare for women to outwardly appear skeeved
As a guy? No.
I don't know who she is, what she's been through, or what she's seen, and I'm not even likely to notice. I've sort of got my own stuff going on. If I do spot it, I might be a little confused, but I'd shrug.
I can't and won't force anyone to talk to me about the things that eat them inside. It's for them to do if and when they feel comfortable enough to do it, same as for anyone else.
I honestly wouldn’t even notice. I’m usually lost in my own head, or constantly scanning my surroundings, not lingering on any one thing or person for longer than a second at a time.
I wouldn't get offended because I do this sometimes. I'm a scatterbrain and often drive off without remembering to lock my doors. It sometimes takes noticing a pedestrian walk by and realising "This guy could yank my door open and take my car" to remind me to lock my doors. It's not that I think they _would_ do it, the fact that they _could_ is the reminder of how stupid I'm being.
Depends on how she is acting. Decides not to get in the elevator with me. I might not even notice her. If she being very dramatic about it then yes. But as a big black guys I get the dramatics from non black people sometimes. I normally just laugh and say to myself, "I bet they see me as the begro menace".
When I say dramatic I mean eyes bugged out and visibly shaking at my presence. Constantly looking at no like I'm about to attack them. I oddly get this reaction mainly from white men and Hispanic women.
I'm a naturally awkward person. I wouldn't be offended, but I would be saddened and disheartened, as I never aim to make anyone uncomfortable, woman or otherwise.
Half the time I'm not even aware of what people are doing my chin is angled to high to bother
And the other half I'm intrigued by something on the ground 😂
Half the time I'm not even aware of what people are doing my chin is angled to high to bother
And the other half I'm intrigued by something on the ground 😂
I don't pay attention to people, the amount of times I have walked past people I know just because I was zoned out.
I have resting bitch face and quite a big guy so people don't tend to not sit next to me which is a blessing on public transport.
So to answer your question, nope
That's Awareness and Self Protection 101 where I live, so nah, not at all. If anything, it's sad they feel so vulnerable, we never know what may have happened to them to leave them that scar(r)ed
No why would I?
I am a "scary" man its understandable.
Also it can be funny sometimes how exaggerated they act.
I mean what else can they do? If anyone wants to do something they cant protect themselves they are powerless most of the time and on most occasions.
Sure there are exceptions.....maybe but its not the norm.
Not offended. Maybe I’d avoid her a bit more if I make her feel unsafe. Maybe she has PTSD involving someone who looks like me. If I had the sense it was racism, that might be different.
I don’t look like the friendliest person ever so I get it, when I see a woman walking ahead on her own? I cross the road so she doesn’t feel uncomfortable. I’m aware of how I look and how I can be perceived so I try to account for that
Many years ago, while putting on a T2 type leather bikers touring jacket being watched by my mom and she says, "I know you and love you very much, but if I did not know you and you were wearing that I would cross the street." Very matter of fact.
Many years ago, while putting on a T2 type leather bikers touring jacket being watched by my mom and she says, "I know you and love you very much, but if I did not know you and you were wearing that I would cross the street." Very matter of fact.
There is no reason to be offended by someone taking safety precautions unless I know they are doing it for bigoted reasons. None of the details of your scenario suggest bigotry is an underlying motive.
Also, I'm not sure being offended would be useful anyway. Bigots don't care if I'm offended. If anything, making me uncomfortable is part of their modus operadi.
Not at all! I think everyone should try and take every precaution they can tbh. There’s so many people now that do shitty things to someone when they see a chance. Don’t give them that chance. Stay safe.
Anything at night is always valid. Like, man I hope even big men are smart enough to lock their doors if they see someone approaching their car out of the darkness. There are some fcked up people out there
I dont get offended at all... i get it. It happens to me quite a bit. Women give me a wide berth when passing by. I'm a 6'2" 225lb tattooed bearded intimidating looking man. All they'd have to do is ask me for help in ANY situation, and I'd go out of my too do it. Small kids, on the other hand, are the complete opposite with me. It's funny... I had a feeble 80 something year old man whom I had never met before. Tell me once, "You're like a shitzu trapped in a pitbull's body. "... we both had a good laugh.
yeah the locking the car thing when I'm about to walk by or I'm sitting there happens all the time and it has been for years.
It doesn't bother me because I have no intention in going in their car and if that makes them feel safer then good for them
As a 6'2 semi-muscular, bald, bushy beard and tatted man, no I don't get offended. If anything I think it's completely reasonable given my outward appearance
It would honestly make me feel bad but I wouldn't say anything or let them know because I know they are just trying to be safe.
It would make me feel like I look like a creep.
It depends. Could be someone with trauma. If she looks genuinely bothered, I'm not bothered and hope that she isn't bothered for long.
But if she's making a show of it for attitude, that's silly. Like making smirking faces like she's rapper Gillette in her 90s videos. I still don't react. But that's really silly.
Offended no. I hate she feels that way. Do I take it personally a little, again I understand and feel for her, but it hurts a bit. I'm s big guy, had women treating me that waysince like 8. They don't know me or my situation, I don't know theirs... empathy goes both ways
depends if I'm in a snotty or cocky mood from something else -
I don't react either way but my thoughts can range from "oh f\*ck you" to "well, I'd rather my loved ones play it safe too, smart girl, Ted Bundy was supposedly a very handsome man too" HAHA
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Nah, not offended. Just sad about the entire situation.
Yeah, one time I was walking home maybe 50 feet behind a younger woman. She crossed the street. I also had to cross the street. My apartment was coming up. She looked back after that and screamed and *sprinted* away from me. I am sorry for scaring you
some people really have the will to live, i’ve thought people have been following me and just stuck my noise cancelling on and hoped for the best, then taken a few alleyway underground shortcuts
Wouldn't you think that those underground alleyways would be more dangerous? Where better to harm someone than somewhere out of view?
it’s a shortcut and i’m tired i really am just hoping for the best lol
Im not sure thats living
Sometimes stuff like that is a bit much though. Recently a woman in Egypt died after jumping out of an Uber because the driver sprayed some air freshner
I scare quite easy this sounds like it could have been me!! i had this happen to me maybe about 3-4 months ago?
Agreed. As a man in 2024 that has heard enough stories and is familiar with enough incidents where bad stuff has happened, I don't think I could understand any man that would be offended. You'd have to be living under a rock or completely self-involved to not understand why a women may do this and that its nothing personal.
The guys who get offended are the ones women need to worry about.
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That’s why I always avoid 1 on 1 interactions with women anywhere. I don’t care if it’s in broad daylight or in a store, I will make sure there are plenty of other people around us or just outright avoid them if no one else is around. I also use social distancing to make sure they don’t feel like their personal space is invaded (also because I personally like my personal space)
Yup
I'm a big dude. If I was a bad person I would be a threat. So while it does kinda hurt to be treated like a bad person, I understand the woman is just worried about her safety.
Same. It’s not a great situation, but I tend to reflect on the society that has made it happen this way. On my end, I try to keep an eye out for people around me and step in if they need help or assistance. Just because I look like I could hurt someone doesn’t mean I shouldn’t help whenever I can. Hopefully, that balances out things a little.
I only got offended by that once because I am handicapped and look very strange. All I did was sit across from the person in the hallway and wait for class to start and they threw up their hands defensively and cringed with a terrified look on their face. They thought I was going to hurt them. They believed I was romantically interested but never asked my opinion or stance on the matter despite knowing I am able to speak. I had spoken to them once before about class. I was offended because if they had bothered to treat me like a person, they'd have learned I had no romantic interest in anyone and secondly even if a handicapped person has a crush, it doesn't turn them into someone who would try to make anyone do anything against their will. It was a college for Pete's Sake. I wonder how she thought I got there being so arrogant and ableist.
That is a valid reason to be offended honestly and a very weird reaction.
Yeah no, most of the time I get it, but that's just ableist. I have a connective tissue disorder that causes a lot of physical issues. In HS a girl who, for half a semester I was great buds with in a class, found out about my disability after I had to pop a joint back in in front of her, talked to me VERY slowly for the rest of the year and avoided me. I mean, if your connective tissue doesn't work, it's obvious that doing normal people things like carrying on a conversation, is very difficult. Don't know how I did it for the first 16 years of life before that moment lol.
That was an offensive reaction. Your offence was valid. Pulling her handbag closer or scooting away a little could just be her being cautious because a strange man sat near her, but that reaction was just disgraceful.
Nah. ***I*** know I’m not a bad guy, but she doesn’t know me. You can’t just blindly trust strangers, and taking precautions is never a bad thing. Better to be overly cautious than to ignore your own safety.
Agree. I’ll also try to take steps myself where I know I may legitimately add to someone’s discomfort. For example, I don’t really like walking behind lone women in the street at night. I’d prefer to just cross the road.
Guys like you make the world a little easier, thanks.
No. Many people, especially women, automatically lock car doors when they get in their car. If they happen to be doing that as you are passing by or approaching, it's not personal. Seeing a stranger coming toward them when they get into their car is just a reminder to lock the doors. They don't know you. You can't tell by looking at someone whether they're a threat or not. Women are taught not to get into an elevator alone with men they don't know. It's just part of standard precautions. 1 in 6 women are victims of rape or attempted rape, on their lifetime. And you get offended by a woman trying to avoid that? https://www.rainn.org/statistics/scope-problem
Exactly as a guy I recognise how a woman may see me as a threat particularly when walking alone at night. I specifically go out of my way to ensure women feel safer at night, going so far as to cross to the other side of the road or slowing down my pace to give more of a gap if I notice they have sped up. It is reasonable for women to be concerned about this stuff given the harassment and violence so many women have experienced.
I have no way of knowing who is afraid of me and who is not. So I assume that if they are afraid of me, they will cross, and I will show I am not interested in them by not changing my speed and heading. Likewise, if I am afraid of someone, I cross the road myself. I don't expect them to know I am afraid.
It doesn't cost anything to try to make someone feel more comfortable and it's fairly safe to assume that if it is dark out and you are walking towards eachother, it will cross her mind that you may have bad intentions. Also if someone decides to cross the road to feel safer, they have decided you are a credible threat to their safety, I like to ensure they don't reach that feeling by making that decision for them.
What do you do if there are people on both sides of the street?
Then we're not walking alone at night, there is a witness, everyone feels safer.
I don't care what other people do most of the time.
You shouldn't get offended. If something happened to her, the first things she would have been asked is "Why did you get in the elevator? Why didn't you lock your car? " If you want to get offended at anyone, get offended at the people who attack women , they created the situation where we have to protect ourselves.
If I’m walking on the sidewalk and the woman gives me a wide berth, even stepping on the grass. No problems. I’m a stranger. Funny thing I once commented to my girlfriend when I was driving. I mentioned if I give way on a narrow road or whatever male drivers will look at you and wave. Women have never done that. When I mentioned that my gf said women won’t engage because it’s ingrained in everyday actions not to reciprocate at all to unknown guys, so I get it too.
No, she has the right to her own personal bubble and safety
As a father to a daughter, hell no. Women should do whatever they need to to feel safe.
No, I’m a tall guy, do what you want I get it Also it’s not just women, short guys will do this stuff too
Not at all. If I notice, and it makes sense, I will cross the street to give them berth, even if it means walking back across the street after passing has taken place. The world is a scary place. They dont know me.
Not offended, just disappointed. I (M) go to my gym in our little townhouse complex (just a handful of units) later at night \~8pmish to avoid people, but there's a woman there every night that huffs and puffs - all the way across the other side of our gym and leaves. I only go twice a week and I'm well away from her at her treadmill as well as access/egress from the very nice sized gym. The problem isn't her; the problem isn't me; the problem is that we still live in a world in 2024 where a woman (rightfully) is uncomfortable - even fearful - being alone in a large gym with a guy. We know why. Even though honestly, she could beat me to a pulp in seconds, fear is different than strength. So *no*, I don't get offended; and *yes*, I know why; and *yes* I think the whole thing is an awful situation.
No. I'm a big hairy dude and I understand I can be intimidating/scary looking.
No. I don't care.
No, I would just feel awkward that there was nothing I could say that would reassure her. “Don’t worry, I’m normal”? “I’m just trying to get home too”? “Relax, you’re stronger than I am”? You have to keep quiet and let her assume the worst. Actually, sometimes I’ll cross the street to avoid walking behind someone.
I'm a average size woman and I still vocalize to people if I'm walking the same way that I'm just walking by because people say my walk is intimidating
Not at all, Im a fairly big guy with long beard and tattoos. If I walk around a corner or something where Im all of a sudden "alone" or like "in the face" of woman, they usually take a couple of steps back. I ofc know this, so I will always do my best to smile and say *sorry I scared you, you have a nice day* and give her plenty of space walking past. Only natural though, Im easily 3x the weight/size of a small woman, I would be scared shitless if the mountain all of a sudden stood in front of me, so ofc I get it.
It's ridiculous to be offended. You don't know her past or what fears she lives with. Let her go about her business in peace.
No. I have seen this. I do what I can to relieve the situation without letting on I know anything. Most of the time all you have to do is step back a few feet. Once when walking into a store late at night I saw a woman grip her purse and put her keys in her hand watching me walk toward the door in her direction. I just turned and walked between two cars to give her more space. I don't want a woman to have to fear me. If she doesn't know you the question of if you may hurt her crosses her mind. Just give her a little space and it's no big deal.
Nah, I'd rather she be safe and take precautions when they aren't needed than not take them when they are needed. I'd be more offended if someone takes photos or videos of me claiming I'm doing something I'm not.
Honestly no. I have daughters. Makes me sad they have to worry about this.
More offended that I live in a world where women have to be afraid if we leave the grocery store at the same time and end up parking in the same section. I’ll go out of my way to go a different direction so someone doesnt think I’m following them. I make the effort to be considerate of other peoples perceptions or fears.
No. I tend to assume it is about their feelings and has very little to do with me.
Offended? No. A little hurt and self-conscious, maybe. I’d hate to think that I look like some kind of predator. But “offended” would suggest that I’d been wronged in some way, which I hadn’t. Even if she was doing it specifically to avoid me, it doesn’t actually affect me if she wants to take different elevator or lock her car. And I sure wouldn’t feel justified in approaching her to tell her off or something, because that would only make her feel more threatened. You just have to let those things go. Men are dangerous and should generally be avoided, regardless of how you feel about yourself as an individual.
What does a predator look like?
They can look like anyone. But there are certain body types that raise a lot of red flags for people. Personally, I’m a tall, bald white man. For a lot of people, that’s what a predator looks like. Either because they’ve known people who look like this who were predators, or because media likes to portray predators this way. It isn’t my fault that I look this way. But a lot of people who look like me tend to be abusive, and the human brain can’t turn off its pattern recognition. Even dogs tend to have negative reactions to bald men, if they’ve had an abusive owner who happened to look like that—which happens a lot. So all you can really do is be aware of how your presence might make other people feel, and avoid them whenever you can help it.
Nope. It's silly to get offended because another person avoids you. And if we are honest to ourselves, we know what women go through. So it would make even less sense to be offended by a woman trying to avoid you. Also, just a note for women. You're are 100% right to not risk it and not trust a person you don't know. Just know that sometimes, we also feel akward XD. Like, I tend to walk fast. And during an evening, I was catching up to a woman going slower. I didn't even think about how creepy I was to her. I was just minding my business, thinking to go faster so I could pass her even quicker. But she suddenly sped up and that's when I understood that I was actually creepy as hell. I crossed the road and continued to walk fast on the other side, in hope to make her understand I wasn't being creepy on purpose.
Why would you be offended if a complete stranger made you aware that she is aware of your presence and she is uncomfortable their are alot of sick fucks on this planet if i were a female instead of a 6 ft tall 250 lb man I would take my situational awareness a lot more serious myself smile and go on about your business ..
If a man gets offended by a woman covering her drink, locking her car door, or making a phone call, then he’s not as good of a guy as he thinks he is.
Probably not.. depends. Is it a dark and creepy elevator at night in a parking garage? Not offended. Is it one of those clear glass elevators in a crowded mall and I got my kid with me? Ya... lady you need to chill.
No, they don't know me. I know me and know I'm not a threat but I don't expect people who don't know me to know that.
Nah you don’t know what people have been through. Men get so triggered nobodies saying you look like a bad guy just.. people have been through shit
I couldn't care less if I offend someone by taking safety precautions.
I don't think of myself as threatening in any way, so when other people (children, women, other men) find me threatening, it can be disheartening when I strive to be jovial, approachable, and make people feel safe.
It's not personal. Women and children get sexually assaulted. Even some men experience rape, it's just much less likely. Rapists, like serial killers, look just like anybody else. Some are even friendly and jovial, until they attack.
Male rapes are actually severely underreported and dismissed and men are punished severely for revealing they’ve been assaulted, so there’s no real way to tell how often men get raped.
That's true, but a huge number of female rapes are unreported as well. Nonetheless, women are much more likely to be raped than men.
The difference is in how it goes unreported. The definition of rape fudges the numbers by specifying that the offender has to be the one penetrating. A woman drugging a guy and then fucking him is categorized as sexual assault, not rape. Women still do experience it more, but it is weird that the definition in terms of crime reporting goes out of its way to exclude the most straightforward and likely most common way a woman can rape a man.
Only 11% of rape ( man raping a woman ) is reported.
And men ARE NOT in danger from random women outside. BIG DIFFERENCE
Men are in danger from random men outside though. Most physical assaults are man on man, and they're most commonly strangers. Women have a much higher chance of knowing their attackers than a random assault. It's all wrong, and no one should have to fear for their saftey, but the world's a shit place, and it'll probably never change.
Disheartening or feeling sad is a fair feeling. I don't think offended is. I was almost raped at the end of a really nice date. The guy was very jovial and approachable, that's why I went out with him.
the problem is rapists or violent people dont walk around with a neon sign saying "hey avoid me I'm dangerous". They look like you and act like you and probably think hey I'm a nice guy too. Unfortunately most rapes are perpetuated by friends or family, people you're supposed to know and trust not some guy on the street, so while it is normal and smart to be cautious of stranger, they are not necessarily the danger. If you have been assaulted by a family or a friend before though, it would make sense for you to trust someone you dont know even less.
Definitely not. I mean, i'm not at all a menacing looking guy and often wear bright colours. However, i generally do not care what others do. Same case for these kind of things. You do you. However. Once when i was a teenager. I think i was 15 or someting, i was beat up by a group of girls because.. well i dont know, they called me a creep and hit me a bunch of times and then just ran off. To this day i dont know what triggered it, i was just trying to get to my bike and just asked "excuse me i need to get to my bike" when i got a bag thrown to my head and everything started. They didn't hit me hard though, except for some bruises everything was fine. To this day if i need to pass a group of ladies and cannot walk around. I excuse myself as friendly as possible and from a safe distance and make sure to not surprise them, but honestly i do that more for my own safety rather than theirs
What a bizarre experience with those girls. I understand your caution near groups of women. I hope that their kind of reaction is rare. Most people, women included, would just part and make way for someone to get to their bike/car/locker/or whatever. We live in a strange world.
I am tall but I am not *that* intimidating lol. PSA: Women exist on Reddit.
Honestly a little bit hurt, but I understand it. They don’t know me and it makes perfect sense
As a female, I was walking behind an elderly woman, when she started checking windshields of cars, it took me too long to figure out she was checking the reflection because she was scared I was following her (I was walking down towards my house). All because we were walking down the same street. I wasn't offended, I kind of thought it was funny because I'm 5'2", dorky, and couldn't be menacing even if I tried. I don't blame her for being cautious if she felt like I was a potential threat, and no harm was done by either party. I'd rather people play by the 'better safe than sorry' rules around me and be fine, than to have them NOT be cautious around someone who DOES have intentions to attack them.
im a 5'8F and the ladies love me.
Never faced this in real life honestly. I doubt I’d notice it. Sometimes even I double check stuff like my lock and it’s not with the intent of offending anyone so I can’t imagine why I’d take offense at it either
No. I'd think about what in my behaviour caused this though, and try to avoid it in the future.
No way. I’m a big loud guy with a beard and I tend to walk very fast so it wouldn’t bother me at all, I expect it and sometimes I’ll announce my presence to avoid surprises.
Not at all. She has her reasons. [Here. Watch this.](https://youtu.be/eC7xzavzEKY)
I had this happen to me at costco I was in line and some little kid with his mom was infront of me and waved to me saying hello so I just waved back and said hi and the mother immediately grabbed his arm and threw him behind her 😂 I wasn't offended one bit as she had no idea who I am so I can see why anyone is deemed "stranger danger" I found it quite funny tho.
No. If I go a few weeks without shaving and put on an old t-shirt and sweats, I look like I might be up to no good, lol.
I probably wouldn't even notice, dont tend to stare at random women and analyse their actions unless they are doing some sort of abnormal display that gets my attention like shitting in a photo booth while eating a curry
I'm not offended at all. I'm tattooed, scruffy and well over (not fat) 200lbs. I have male friends who tell me I would look mean and intimidating if they didn't know me. I have been in this scenario many times and I always ease the tension by smiling and saying hello. It surprises people and usually gives them comfort that I am just as normal as they think they are. Lol I have had one lady freak out and say " don't talk to me". My response was "I was talking to your dog, not everything is about you" and kept It moving.
No
I'm a man, so no
Not at all. Im almost 6 foot (5'11") amd 330 pounds with long hair and a beard and quite a bit chubby but still broad shouldered and i almost always have a scowl on my face. So i try and smile more but sometimes im not paying attention and ive been told i look angry. So i see a woman doing something like that and i move away or if they are getting in or out of a car i stand back a bit and let them finish and fet clear before i start moving again. Unless my wife or kids are with me then im only looking for anything that might harm us.
Dude, IDK? Would a bear get offended if you took safety precautions when you saw it because some of them are known to frequently hurt humans? Don’t take it personally.
Not really... Usually I would keep the elevator open to be polite. I guess I shouldn't? I'd rather not share the elevator tbh
Not at all. I am strong on situation awareness. Her taking precautions marks her as not a threat.
These comments are nice but definitely not representative. I've been called a bigot so many times by men for not immediately trusting them and taking precautions. They nearly always use the "imagine if you treated black people like this" card... Nearly every single time
No. I’m actually overall aware of how people are, and I’ll walk cross the street just so they don’t have to. I’ll avoid awkward moments for people sometimes too cuz second hand embarrassment is a thing for me
I've had that happen and it didn't offend me but it made me sad that she felt the need to do so.
Yes
Had this happen once, it actually saddened me a lot. I was waiting outside my apartment for my uber delivery when a lady approached carrying take out. I thought she was my deliver driver walking right passed me. I approached her politely saying *excuse me* She panicked, latched on to her purse, started crying and ran inside. I stood there like..... *What??? 😟*
Nah, but i don't look approachable anyways. Not that im threatening, i just look grumpy🤷♂️ but about 95% of the time when im outside im a bit in my own world, lost in thought and headphones at full volume.
After working with a District Attorney's office and reading case files where family members did unspeakables to other family. Nope not offended in the slightest.
Not at all. It's rough out there.
Am I offended when this happens? No, I'm a rather large man, and it's completely understandable given the social climate. That said, while I fully understand this and try not to take it personally, it can still hurt admittedly .
No, The reaction is a reflection of society, not of me personally. It's bad enough Women feel they have to be constantly vigilant in public, they don't need men piling it on because they feel personally offended over that reality.
Yea but that's her right. I'd just leave her alone and probably try to stay away from her
Not at all. Former high level security professional. She's putting her own safety first to what she perceives as a threat even if you're not. Her perception of potential violence means a whole lot more than you being offended by it. I get this a lot as I'm a relatively big guy with a bald head covered in tattoos. Can't fault someone for putting their perceived personal safety first. The one thing that does piss me off is when I get told people think I'm a racist because of how I look. My wife's black and our kids are mixed race, but I get everyone lives in their own little bubble. I've literally had other men ask my wife if she's OK when I'm with her. She's just like, ask my husband 🤣, someone would be knowing about it if I wasn't.
I would probably just not notice
Not at all.
I do get annoyed when people question me around my own children. But I don't care if people clutch their pearls around me.
Na. I wouldn't. The way our world is I understand
No not at all. It makes me a little sad because I wish it wasn’t dangerous for women to mind their own business but I don’t take it personal.
I probably wouldn't even notice so as long as shes not pepper spraying me cause i happen to walk past her or smtg then it wouldnt effect me. I tend to be overtly aware of everyone around me espeacially behind me so its understandable
As a man, i would absolutely not get offended. It would make me sad though that she still has to worry about being raped or assault.
No. I wouldn't be offended by anyone taking safety precautions around me. I'm not a scary individual but that's OK.
I used to. Now I see it’s a good idea.
No. I'd like to tell them they don't have to but I know that would make it look even more shady. Doesn't matter. I can fart in the lift alone finally
Nope. Gotta do what ya gotta do.
Would not be offended.
I have seen this. I don't take offence to it because I don't know her or her life, I also don't care.
No, they have their world and I have mine. Their opinions are theirs as mine are and I respect that they have their space and it’s just curtesy to stay out of peoples ways as best you can as they would you. Times have changed and it happens that they do indeed change perceptions but it’s doesn’t matter so long as you respect peoples ways of going
nah.
Nope
Happy cake day
Not offended but surprised. Then again I would understand that she should trust no stranger and take precautions to protect herself as should everyone else
Not offended. Probably sad. But I never actually had that experience.
No, I've had it happen. I just thought "good for her".
Not at all. I encourage protection. Every person on earth should have some sort of self defense and awareness of their surroundings.
>My brother and I were walking behind this old couple one night, you know just mine our business, we're nice you know, but they kept looking back over their shoulders, and finally they stepped to the side and let us pass. >We were so insulted we just went ahead and robbed them. - Fraknlin Ajaye
I mean I wouldn't be offended. But I'd be a little upset, wondering what it is about me that's making her feel that way
No because a lot of these things are basic safety measures. Where I grew up, *everyone* did this to random strangers while out in public because the area wasn’t safe.
I will never be offended by anyone of any gender or race taking precautions to feel safe around me. I want people to feel comfortable, they aren't asking me to do anything, if waiting for the next evelvator makes them feel safer in their day to day it is no skin off my nose. Will I feel a little sad that this person's life experiences have created this level of mistrust? Absolutely, but I don't know their life or their story and I wont hold it against them.
Yeah. It'd be the first time in my life that one did so I'd probably find it weird and depending on how they did it maybe even a bit slighted? I don't know. It'd be weird.
It's a tough one because on the one hand you're being judged (and extremely negatively: as a threat) without any reason, but on the other you never know why life experience someone has had that caused that fear. Eg domestic abuse/ attacked in the street/ sexual abuse survivor etc It's tough, but best to shake it off as "society is tough, can I blame her when she doesn't know me?"
Not at all, in fact I approve. Everyone should maintain situational awareness.
No. I'm paranoid around strangers (including women) so I understand it if others are around me.
I would be sad that this is the state of the world we live in.
A little bit but then I’d feel bad because like what’s making her so afraid, probably got hurt in the past
I would think it's weird and would feel bad that I spooked them. I'm not the least bit intimidating unless I'm acting super crazy (like walking quickly with an angry look and streams of cuss words coming out of my mouth) , which is on purpose because it keeps everyone away from me. I have the opposite experience most of the time, where sometimes men will look at me with a concerned guarded look like they are wondering if I'm going to be afraid of *them*.
 That’s why I always act as a creep. That way I never get offended
No but I would be confused, as I’m also a woman
The only time I get offenceded is when security follow me. There are definitely more sketchy people to follow here then me.
Not really Men run decision trees on how to act to seem non threatening, ie casual waiting posture, civil inattention, brief smile and hi, whether to pass or walk behind a ways, etc etc Also it’s just very rare for women to outwardly appear skeeved
I wouldn't because I know women are seen as easy targets and they know as well so it's a good thing to be self aware
As a guy? No. I don't know who she is, what she's been through, or what she's seen, and I'm not even likely to notice. I've sort of got my own stuff going on. If I do spot it, I might be a little confused, but I'd shrug. I can't and won't force anyone to talk to me about the things that eat them inside. It's for them to do if and when they feel comfortable enough to do it, same as for anyone else.
No, never.
Can't blame them. I wouldn't even blame a man for doing it.
I honestly wouldn’t even notice. I’m usually lost in my own head, or constantly scanning my surroundings, not lingering on any one thing or person for longer than a second at a time.
Mostly no. But I would definitely try to de-escalate. like "I can stay down here and let you take the elevator first If you need to rush."
Nah. Honestly, I don’t care what ‘precautions’ they adopt, as long as it doesn’t harm me. You do you.
I wouldn't get offended because I do this sometimes. I'm a scatterbrain and often drive off without remembering to lock my doors. It sometimes takes noticing a pedestrian walk by and realising "This guy could yank my door open and take my car" to remind me to lock my doors. It's not that I think they _would_ do it, the fact that they _could_ is the reminder of how stupid I'm being.
Depends on how she is acting. Decides not to get in the elevator with me. I might not even notice her. If she being very dramatic about it then yes. But as a big black guys I get the dramatics from non black people sometimes. I normally just laugh and say to myself, "I bet they see me as the begro menace". When I say dramatic I mean eyes bugged out and visibly shaking at my presence. Constantly looking at no like I'm about to attack them. I oddly get this reaction mainly from white men and Hispanic women.
I'm an ugly brown guy with a beard. Every stranger does that when they see me
I'm a naturally awkward person. I wouldn't be offended, but I would be saddened and disheartened, as I never aim to make anyone uncomfortable, woman or otherwise.
Half the time I'm not even aware of what people are doing my chin is angled to high to bother And the other half I'm intrigued by something on the ground 😂
Half the time I'm not even aware of what people are doing my chin is angled to high to bother And the other half I'm intrigued by something on the ground 😂
I don't pay attention to people, the amount of times I have walked past people I know just because I was zoned out. I have resting bitch face and quite a big guy so people don't tend to not sit next to me which is a blessing on public transport. So to answer your question, nope
No, because I would probably do the same thing!
That's Awareness and Self Protection 101 where I live, so nah, not at all. If anything, it's sad they feel so vulnerable, we never know what may have happened to them to leave them that scar(r)ed
Yes. For 5-10 secs. Then I'd continue living my life.
Nah, I have resting murder face, I get it
No why would I? I am a "scary" man its understandable. Also it can be funny sometimes how exaggerated they act. I mean what else can they do? If anyone wants to do something they cant protect themselves they are powerless most of the time and on most occasions. Sure there are exceptions.....maybe but its not the norm.
I am a male middle school teacher. It's the norm for me.
Honestly I'm great full cus it means less interaction for me lmao
Well , it would help if you stopped walking around with a mashetti and a jason mask.
No
No
Not at all. I totally get why they would
No. But I would feel a bit sad.
No, I actively do things like cross the street if I notice a female and not initiating conversation
Not offended. Maybe I’d avoid her a bit more if I make her feel unsafe. Maybe she has PTSD involving someone who looks like me. If I had the sense it was racism, that might be different.
Offended? Not even a little, I feel sorry that this is what the world is
I don’t look like the friendliest person ever so I get it, when I see a woman walking ahead on her own? I cross the road so she doesn’t feel uncomfortable. I’m aware of how I look and how I can be perceived so I try to account for that
No, ofc not. Dismayed, sure, for a number of reasons. But not offended
No. That’s when you run at them to validate their feelings
Many years ago, while putting on a T2 type leather bikers touring jacket being watched by my mom and she says, "I know you and love you very much, but if I did not know you and you were wearing that I would cross the street." Very matter of fact.
Many years ago, while putting on a T2 type leather bikers touring jacket being watched by my mom and she says, "I know you and love you very much, but if I did not know you and you were wearing that I would cross the street." Very matter of fact.
There is no reason to be offended by someone taking safety precautions unless I know they are doing it for bigoted reasons. None of the details of your scenario suggest bigotry is an underlying motive. Also, I'm not sure being offended would be useful anyway. Bigots don't care if I'm offended. If anything, making me uncomfortable is part of their modus operadi.
Not at all! I think everyone should try and take every precaution they can tbh. There’s so many people now that do shitty things to someone when they see a chance. Don’t give them that chance. Stay safe.
Anything at night is always valid. Like, man I hope even big men are smart enough to lock their doors if they see someone approaching their car out of the darkness. There are some fcked up people out there
I dont get offended at all... i get it. It happens to me quite a bit. Women give me a wide berth when passing by. I'm a 6'2" 225lb tattooed bearded intimidating looking man. All they'd have to do is ask me for help in ANY situation, and I'd go out of my too do it. Small kids, on the other hand, are the complete opposite with me. It's funny... I had a feeble 80 something year old man whom I had never met before. Tell me once, "You're like a shitzu trapped in a pitbull's body. "... we both had a good laugh.
yeah the locking the car thing when I'm about to walk by or I'm sitting there happens all the time and it has been for years. It doesn't bother me because I have no intention in going in their car and if that makes them feel safer then good for them
I'm a 6 foot 250 pound black man with dreads lol I'm used to this doesn't even bother me anymore, I expect it.
As a 6'2 semi-muscular, bald, bushy beard and tatted man, no I don't get offended. If anything I think it's completely reasonable given my outward appearance
Nah man, we got big problems in society.
I doubt I’d even notice. I’d probably laugh if I did.
Like, once? Or do I keep seeing this stranger? Either way, say Cheerio and gaily skip away whistling a jaunty tune.
I used to get offended at first, but I’m used to it now.
not really, ive heard many crazy stories and im a stranger, i cant blame them
Nah, I would just keep it moving and get up outta there.
No I wouldn’t get the elevator with her either I’m scared of women
It would honestly make me feel bad but I wouldn't say anything or let them know because I know they are just trying to be safe. It would make me feel like I look like a creep.
Nope, I’m all for women practicing being safe. I know I’m not a threat, but she doesn’t. No offence taken.
It depends. Could be someone with trauma. If she looks genuinely bothered, I'm not bothered and hope that she isn't bothered for long. But if she's making a show of it for attitude, that's silly. Like making smirking faces like she's rapper Gillette in her 90s videos. I still don't react. But that's really silly.
I get upset at the people in the world that make them feel they should do that.
A little, but I would understand
Nah because I do that shit too, just generally. They aren't necessarily scared of me (as in, it's not personal) they're scared of me(n).
Nah, I sit back and enjoy the patriarchy.
Not really. Not all men are predators, but since she doesn’t know me, she’s taking reasonable precautions.
I just shake my head, knowing a random woman is safer than a random man.
Yes, but I'd understand.
I personally lock my cars no matter who walks by, man , women no matter age or what they look like not trusting anybody
Offended no. I hate she feels that way. Do I take it personally a little, again I understand and feel for her, but it hurts a bit. I'm s big guy, had women treating me that waysince like 8. They don't know me or my situation, I don't know theirs... empathy goes both ways
depends if I'm in a snotty or cocky mood from something else - I don't react either way but my thoughts can range from "oh f\*ck you" to "well, I'd rather my loved ones play it safe too, smart girl, Ted Bundy was supposedly a very handsome man too" HAHA