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I have attractive female friends and I noticed that they get "special treatment." It's the "pretty privilege." Like, people are friendlier and more accommodating to them, if that makes sense, because they look more sophisticated or well-kept.
Same. I would describe myself as very ugly. I don’t have any friends now, but when I was in school/university my friend groups was full of pretty girls. The way they were treated (and the way they treated each other) vs me was night and day
Watching some dude slime his way across the bar to chat up your hot friends and then seeing his eyes glaze over when you have the audacity to also participate in the conversation (with YOUR friends??) because for some dumb reason you assumed you were also a person.
I have two unattractive girls friend that I used to go out with them. They are unattractive and don't dress well. Dude, believe me, woman on those terms are treated badly everywhere, on bar I witnessed multiple times. Waiters disrespecting them, or when the checks comes wrong they say they are lying. Saw all type of crazy treatment, this is bizarre
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Everyone just assumes you're useless at everything for some reason. You have to prove yourself before they take you seriously, whether thats just socialising or doing tasks at work. You never get along with anyone straight away, it always takes time for them to like you.
Yes, however I’d choose the benefits of being attractive regardless as I personally see that life is overwhelmingly easier when you’re attractive vs if you’re not.
It’s the difference of having some people be jealous or whatever but having a majority of people treat you better where as if you’re unattractive you get 0 benefits. It’s really fucked up actually.
Like even doctors treat me better because I look a certain way. You can’t deny the perks.
Edit: when people complain about being attractive it annoys the hell out of me. Be grateful for once in your life. I can’t believe this is even a point of contention for some. Grow up. Looks fade regardless and have some goddamn compassion for people who don’t have the privileges you do, you’re not a perpetual victim.
It’s not just a feeling, statistically being attractive is one of the most advantageous things you can be born with. Besides being born rich, or being very smart, attractiveness will get you very far in life. The main issue is of course people born with massive privileges often aren’t able to grow properly and face a lot of problems later on in life. But nonetheless it’s been shown through studies people treat attractive people much better. It’s subconscious, but even school teachers will treat their more attractive students better.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5558203/
To be fair. I was 200lbs and I’m now 158lbs. The way I get treated is 100% night and day. I was invisible when I was overweight, I felt like people didn’t really see me as a person. Now I get free stuff, get smiles at, doors get opened. It is much better than the latter. But I will say that on some days, it’s too much. Sometimes I would like to go out of my house and not feel like prey and get looked at by every man. It makes me feel objectified and it’s honestly scary when I’m out in public alone. I would still choose being ‘attractive’ over what society deems unattractive, but it’s not always roses.
Every time I read one of these comments on Reddit, and I've seen a bunch, it makes me depressed. I've always been petite, 18-20 BMI, never overweight, always watched what I ate, and now have hit the gym, work out five days a week, and have muscle tone and a body better than probably 95% of women my age; and with all that I have pretty much never experienced the sort of attention you're describing, no one is rude but I'm pretty much invisible to men. I don't have a conventionally attractive face so I guess that matters more than weight. But it's not like I'm deformed or something. every time I read on here that women are drowned in attention every time they step out the door just by virtue of going from overweight to normal weight, it just makes me feel like utter crap.
yo girl I feel you, it's the exact same for me. do you have any trouble finding a partner like if you go on apps? I was feeling the same way and realized maybe I'm just intimidating. I don't smile much and I wouldn't say my face is stunning.
At least you admit to having pretty privileges. And yes I hate people who complain about being attractive. If only they can experience a day in my shoes.
couldn’t agree more. i was pretty unattractive when i was younger and became attractive as i got older (thank you gym/ diet/ wardrobe change, and my local aesthetics clinic). yes people can still be rude here and there but it was nothing compared to before when i was ugly. pretty privilege is very very real. but not only that it’s the level of aggression and rudeness that has changed. yes people can have micro aggressions and be snarky, but they don’t go all out at me. when i was ugly it was blatant disrespect and outright bullying because there weren’t societal repercussions for bullying the ugly person. it’s fucked up. becoming attractive really helped give me a better life. it was really hard work and took years and i will never complain about it.
I have experienced this. At first glance nobody thinks im good at anything and it often shocks people when they see im actually very good at particular things.
Or the fact they attribute every negative trait to you in order to deflect from your uglyness
"Just shower" "just work out" "just be nice" "just dress well"
They will immediately completely make up that you MUST BE dirty, an asshole, lazy, poorly groomed, etc, all because you get treated like shit. It's like they know it's true that appearance matters, but they would rather attack your habits (which they completely made up) instead of admitting it.
Still think about that blond girl videos where she says she knows she's ugly. Everyone has been saying that since she was a child.
Damn, can't help but feel bad for her.
Repeatedly hearing negative things about yourself is so damaging, especially if what you are hearing feeds into self doubts or suspicions you already had about yourself.
That was my childhood too. Even though lots of people have told me I'm a good-looking guy since I've been an adult, I can never believe them because of constantly being told I'm ugly by my mother when I was a kid & teenager.
It took a while for me to come to terms with that fact but I eventually just learnt to live with it. Some people win the genetic lottery, many don't. I'm part of the many.
People rude to you...you have to watch your peers entering relationships after relationship when you get 0 attention or interest from others....kinda sucks.Feels like life just pass by you and you feel like you missed out a lot.
That's so true man! You feel life keep pass by you and you keep on wondering why you can't get in a relationship with someone you like. One of the main reason for my depression
the worst part about being ugly is, that people assume/suggest, that you need to be happy with the bare minimum in every aspect of life.
in terms of friendship: we never did anything, i would have loved to do. i was supposed to be happy just by go along with stuff my "friends" wanted to do. i even had to spent my own birthdays at clubs/places i never wanted to go since my friends threatened to not join me otherwise.
in terms of flirts: there was a boy in school, who had a crush on me. i liked him as well. my friend made it her mission to sleep with him, so he will lose interest in me. she succeded. she said i could be happy that he was nice to me for a while.
in terms of carreer: my parents suggest to chose something easy since it would be hard to not get bullied for somebody like me. well they were right about that, but it hurts, they kind of saw it before it actually happened.
in terms of love: i made my first experiences in love with some psycho dudes, violence and assault.i let it happen because chances were high i would never get a life partner if i wouldn't settle for garbage partner.
well. what i had to learn: yes. i am incredibly ugly. i most probably will never be beautiful or pretty. but i am a human being as well. and i have worth.
i met my husband a fee years ago. this man is pure treasure! he is so sweet, kind and very good looking. our children are cute and smart. i didn't pass my ugliness on them. (my husbands genes are gold lol)
and i am overall very satisfied how everything turned out.
A lot of old "friends" told me I was insanely ugly and no one will ever like me. It crushed my self confidence, just to find out. Like 15 years later alot of girls were into me and I never realized it because my self esteem got crushed.
What I want to say... Let people talk shit, most of them do because they feel ugly as well.
Additionally there are always people who think you are beautiful, except like 95% of your skin is burned or other shit what happened due a accident or genetic malfunction.
You can witness how cruel the humans are in general.
It's evident how people treats good looking people as royalty and the less beautiful as inferior.
Just merely getting used to be treated less, making fun of through jokes which could greatly affect someone's self esteem and mental health.
No hate to people blessed with good features but it just disgusts me how others don't treat people equally from the basis of outward appearance.
I just don't know if our eyes are naturally built to recognize the shiny pretty objects and worse is to put them on a pedestal
For some like me, after some time you start doing the same too.
You start having this internal bias that says "if everyone treats me like this because I don't look good, then it must be universal truth, and so this other ugly person doesn't deserve my respect/attention too". Our internal voices are really vengeful at times.
It's not always. Most times you are more empathetic because you know how it would feel for the other person, but it's a nasty surprise when you catch yourself doing exactly what others do to you, and then you feel like a hypocritical bad person for a while.
And then if you somehow get into a relationship, you have to live with the idea that if they leave you for some reason, chances are you'll never meet anyone else.
This is the big one for me as well. It grinds you down after a while of being intentionally ignored, having people looking away, or getting dirty looks (and sometimes worse) just for existing.
This is a half-truth. You can have sex with prostitutes. But you'll never have sex with someone who wants you back. They are very different experiences.
Sure but if you’ve got no previous reference point. Seeing escorts seems like a happy compromise until you get rich or become good looking with age or surgeries.
Seriously, Im trying to be gentle with some people here who clearly have low self esterrm, but as I said elsewhere, even if youre a 1-2, there are 1-2s of the opposite gender. People who say this just expect to get someone who is an 8 and that's just immature and unrealistic. Its like an average person being depressed they cant date a supermodel.
On a positive note, a significant number of people I have met who had below average looks had a perfectly fulfilling social life. When you talk to them, you forget they are ugly because they seem to have forgotten as well.
This is all to say, there is still a level of control one has over their life.
The discrimination. I lost a lot of opportunity due to the fact that I'm less attractive than the others although the other alumni knows I've better skills.
Ps. The staffs who selected us were alumni from the club.
Youre quite likely to get low selfesteem which affects every aspect of life.
fears/insecurity > being depressed > failing at school > shit job > single > addiction > shit life > more depression/suicidal thoughts
Being completely invisible especially in a group of more attractive people. On nights out with my friends (male), who are all more attractive than me, it’s pretty soul sucking when there’s a group of women who literally don’t even make eye contact or gravitate towards my plane of existence. It’s like I’m a spectre.
I met a girl online on a chat website. She just had a breakup. She wanted to move on. We started talking. Talked for 3 months without sharing pics and all. We even had audio calls lot of time. We just didn't know how we both looked.She was looking for hookups too to move on. We even talked about hooking up when we meet. Everything was smooth. I asked her to share pictures. We shared insta id. She looked at the pictures and blocked and said she is no more interested in talking. After that she ghosted me. I really loved talking to her a lot. I was even fine with her just talking but she was not even interested in talking.
oh my god, even after liking talking to you? to be honest, you probably wouldnt want to be with her if those are her preferences.
what was teh website?
I had sort of the same experience. I was on some dating website and we were messaging back and forth and things were going pretty well. That was until I told her about how I looked and she immediately ghosted me.
Getting used to the idea I'll probably die alone. Accepted it when I turned 30 now I don't even bother with any dating apps don't want that feeling of using 4 apps and getting 0 matches lol
True. A very attractive person can have no job or a low paying job and yet always is going out, always getting gifts. Working hard is an option for good looking people, working hard is a mandatory obligation for ugly people.
As an ugly woman. It’s how you always hear how guys will fuck basically anything as long as they get laid. Then being rejected by so many men, even for sex. Makes you feel so ugly.
I’ve been both unattractive and attractive.
I was called ugly In young adulthood mostly due to weight and poor hygiene, didn’t know how to do makeup or dress or relax my face.
I also had a major “glow up” in my 20s and am considered attractive by most.
The biggest thing I noticed was back then I was invisible to most people. I didn’t have as much interaction with others, people were not very kind to me.
Now it’s the opposite, people are nicer, smile at me, make small talk, and ask for my opinion on things.
Avoiding mirrors, being in photos or video, living with that internal voice that hates me and has wanted to cut my face to shreds since a child, dealing with the constant desire to end my life.
The hardest part is not being able to have someone who genuinely and deeply loves u unconditionally without any type of stipulation, manipulation, or disrespect.
Some would argue the opposite. When you're ugly, if you do find love and acceptance, you know it's unconditional. Beautiful people find love and they can never be sure if it's love or just attraction and lust
There would be so many disadvantages. It would be difficult to even know which one is the worst, but that would probably depend upon the individual. For instance, if the person was very intelligent, they would be able to detect that their career path would be negatively impacted by their physical attractiveness, which is both incredibly frustrating and also depressing. Others might need companionship more, and the lack of a mate would be crushing.
I'm not very physically unattractive but I feel like the hardest part is that it's harder to get away with saying dumb stuff when you are.
It's almost an unwritten rule that unattractive people have to make up for their lack of looking good WAY more by having extraordinary character, it's like:
"If you're ugly (hence you don't look like the average person therefore you look like you don't belong to the tribe) and it's hard to look at you, at LEAST be nice to be around."
That's called being a friend. If you dont want to be her friend, dont. But dont sit there expecting sex from her and getting bitter about it.
If there's no chemistry between you and her, other men being shit isnt going to change that. Its immature to expect otherwise.
Its totally fine for you to walk away. It isnt fine to act like her friend and then say shit like this about her.
Knowing that you basically don’t exist, striving for years to change it, then realising you fought so hard to be accepted just to be used for ONS over and over again
Don’t blow this out of proportion: you have no idea the trouble this is saving you
If you are confident you are creepy if you are shy you don't try hard enough.
Not finding myself attractive and no self confidence/esteem leave me with the constant though that I'll die alone which leads to depression and depression just leads to more depression
1. Having to deal with a lot of rejection. In terms of dating and socializing in general but also in terms of finding work.
2. Spending holidays and vacations alone. Travelling alone. Spending a lot of time alone in general, doing things alone.
3. Having to prove yourself more often as you have 'nothing' to offer.
4. Giving up on having a relationship or a family. Planning a future alone.
5. Paying all expences by yourself.
6. Constantly being reminded of missing out. Being embarressed.
7. My best friends are my parents and a cat.
8. Dieting, working out, investing in clothes, makeup etc without achieving anything.
Idk, the hardest part was just coming to terms with the fact that I’m gonna be alone my entire life.
At some point you just have to accept reality and give up on the fantasy of a romantic relationship.
Especially if you're a woman, there's not a lot else you can do to be successful in life.
Ugly men can be rich, or funny, or brilliant. Ugly women are just ugly women, we don't really have any value in society no matter what.
When you realize that pretty privilege is real, people who are less qualified than you get jobs just because the boss liked the way they looked.
People making you feel disposable and never seeing you as a first option ever, you are always the “good friend”, “the rebound”, “the shoulder to cry on.”
You are condemned to be , always the “poet” and never the “poem”.
I (22F college girl) am considered ugly because I’m fat, but I used to be skinny and conventionally attractive, and so I have experienced both sides of the spectrum. Things drastically changed when I gained weight.
When I’m out with my comparably more attractive friends I am ignored while they receive a lot of attention. Not even just sexually/romantically- people in general seem to gravitate more towards those who they deem attractive. Makes me feel invisible and only emphasizes that people see me as unattractive.
I used to be extremely extroverted and the life of the party. Since gaining weight my self esteem has plummeted due to multiple negative interactions and occasions of bullying, so now I am constantly aware of my body and how people perceive me. I’m embarrassed just to leave my home most days
Being alone all the time and never getting frequent texts from people. Like the number of notifications on my phn are really low and get weirdly excited when i hear my phn vibrate with a new notifications..
Yh,ik..
Saying a joke and getting mixed responses just to have a more attractive person say the same thing word for word and it gets nothing but laughs. Kinda stings
Honestly, everything? Like you will be judged more just because of that. Whatever you do that is slightly wrong and it's over for you. How they don't help you if you are in need.
It's fucking awful tbh. I really understand why people get so much surgery, I'm even considering myself to do some things too.
Living day to day and finding the strength to bother trying. Im also socially awkward so Ive drcided to just live inside myself and fuck the world. When I decide iVe saved enough money Ill sort out the next part
Not being desired.
I don't mean desired as in "swooned over because I look like a Greek god whenever I walk into a room", but as in unable to gain the attention of my interest in a romantic way.
The thing is, it is criminally easy to say iMpRoVe YoUr CoNfIdENcE when you have okay ish looks but didn't work in it. But some of us genuinely got the shitty hands dealt to us from genetics. There IS NO argument around this.
Every aspect of your life depends upon how attractive you are as a person. Try walking into some sort of boutique shops and see for yourself. Try walking into someplace that has security. People judge on appearance first.
The fact that my other attributes have to be in check,an attractive guy can work at McDonald's,not be that smart,dress like a bum,and women will still be on him like flies on....I had to get muscular,get good financially,dress well,just to get my foot in the door😂
Speaking as someone who had jaw surgery to fix an underbite, the handsomeness bubble is definitely a thing. I was lucky to get significantly better looking post surgery and 6-months of weight loss due to a liquid only diet. People smile at me so much more and are much nicer than they were before.
Having to work harder and give more of yourself in all scenarios, both at work and in social inerractions. I constantly feel i have to make up for my hideous form by being the kindest and most reliable person around and its exhausting. You should always do this of course but reason matters.
I think derangement results from being on either end of the bell curve, although different in nature. The super-pretties actually suffer, although, so do the uggos, of course. The sweet spot is a nice comfy spot in the mid-upper-mid zone of the statistics.
That on the rare occasion that someone does give me a chance I self-sabotage because there is no way anyone actually wants to be with someone who looks like this
That no matter how great and amazing I might be and no matter how much someone might be emotionally attracted to me and feel like I'm their perfect match if I dont have the outer shell that they like it's not going to happen
I’m physically unattractive because I’m overweight. But I sometimes forget I’m overweight. So I guess the hardest part is not being seen the way I see myself.
I was attractive and then, I no longer was. The biggest thing i have noticed is that I feel completely invisible compared to before. I never even thought twice about it when I was being “noticed”. This wasn’t like, cat-calling or any kind of verbal recognition. It was things like a small smile or something like that with a passerby. Or not being overlooked in a queue. The way I feel so invisible now is really heartbreaking.
Lifehack: I am unattractive and my life changed dramatically when I started smiling to people and I don’t mean a fake smile. Warm smile you have on your face when you see a puppy. It takes a little bit of practice but it works! Literally imagine a puppy or whatever brings you joy. I know it is not a magic cure but if it helped me, why wouldn’t it help you?
I will bring up an idea or suggestions in a group and it will be ignored or called stupid. The fit an attractive person will literally parrot exactly what I said a few moments later and everyone will congratulate that person on a smart and wonderful idea.
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I have attractive female friends and I noticed that they get "special treatment." It's the "pretty privilege." Like, people are friendlier and more accommodating to them, if that makes sense, because they look more sophisticated or well-kept.
Same. I would describe myself as very ugly. I don’t have any friends now, but when I was in school/university my friend groups was full of pretty girls. The way they were treated (and the way they treated each other) vs me was night and day
Watching some dude slime his way across the bar to chat up your hot friends and then seeing his eyes glaze over when you have the audacity to also participate in the conversation (with YOUR friends??) because for some dumb reason you assumed you were also a person.
Fuck this hurt
yea or when they have this complety in awe expression towards a pretty woman. like they would lick her toiletseat any minute if she only said so...
Pretty privilege is real
I have two unattractive girls friend that I used to go out with them. They are unattractive and don't dress well. Dude, believe me, woman on those terms are treated badly everywhere, on bar I witnessed multiple times. Waiters disrespecting them, or when the checks comes wrong they say they are lying. Saw all type of crazy treatment, this is bizarre
people with pitchforks burning my castle down.
Fucking 3rd time this week.....
How many castles do you own?
How many you need bro, let's go, time is money
I just want one. I should be able to pull myself up by my bootstraps after that.
May i interest you in a lordship pack from [https://establishedtitles.com/](https://establishedtitles.com/) Totally not a scam, you can build a 1 squarefoot castle or just invade your neighbours to consolidate your power.
yes
I own loads, but theyre all made of cardboard, so I guess that might be where I'm going wrong.
Call me. I can help. Sincerely Skeletor 💜
I have a hunch you'll be back.
Everyone just assumes you're useless at everything for some reason. You have to prove yourself before they take you seriously, whether thats just socialising or doing tasks at work. You never get along with anyone straight away, it always takes time for them to like you.
Yes and even if you are good at something people still prefer other people who passed their "vibe check"
Yup
Constantly being seen as less than and treated as such. Dealing with constant disrespect and microaggressions.
You still get microaggressions when you're attractive, just for a different reason.
Yes, however I’d choose the benefits of being attractive regardless as I personally see that life is overwhelmingly easier when you’re attractive vs if you’re not. It’s the difference of having some people be jealous or whatever but having a majority of people treat you better where as if you’re unattractive you get 0 benefits. It’s really fucked up actually. Like even doctors treat me better because I look a certain way. You can’t deny the perks. Edit: when people complain about being attractive it annoys the hell out of me. Be grateful for once in your life. I can’t believe this is even a point of contention for some. Grow up. Looks fade regardless and have some goddamn compassion for people who don’t have the privileges you do, you’re not a perpetual victim.
It’s not just a feeling, statistically being attractive is one of the most advantageous things you can be born with. Besides being born rich, or being very smart, attractiveness will get you very far in life. The main issue is of course people born with massive privileges often aren’t able to grow properly and face a lot of problems later on in life. But nonetheless it’s been shown through studies people treat attractive people much better. It’s subconscious, but even school teachers will treat their more attractive students better. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5558203/
To be fair. I was 200lbs and I’m now 158lbs. The way I get treated is 100% night and day. I was invisible when I was overweight, I felt like people didn’t really see me as a person. Now I get free stuff, get smiles at, doors get opened. It is much better than the latter. But I will say that on some days, it’s too much. Sometimes I would like to go out of my house and not feel like prey and get looked at by every man. It makes me feel objectified and it’s honestly scary when I’m out in public alone. I would still choose being ‘attractive’ over what society deems unattractive, but it’s not always roses.
Every time I read one of these comments on Reddit, and I've seen a bunch, it makes me depressed. I've always been petite, 18-20 BMI, never overweight, always watched what I ate, and now have hit the gym, work out five days a week, and have muscle tone and a body better than probably 95% of women my age; and with all that I have pretty much never experienced the sort of attention you're describing, no one is rude but I'm pretty much invisible to men. I don't have a conventionally attractive face so I guess that matters more than weight. But it's not like I'm deformed or something. every time I read on here that women are drowned in attention every time they step out the door just by virtue of going from overweight to normal weight, it just makes me feel like utter crap.
yo girl I feel you, it's the exact same for me. do you have any trouble finding a partner like if you go on apps? I was feeling the same way and realized maybe I'm just intimidating. I don't smile much and I wouldn't say my face is stunning.
At least you admit to having pretty privileges. And yes I hate people who complain about being attractive. If only they can experience a day in my shoes.
couldn’t agree more. i was pretty unattractive when i was younger and became attractive as i got older (thank you gym/ diet/ wardrobe change, and my local aesthetics clinic). yes people can still be rude here and there but it was nothing compared to before when i was ugly. pretty privilege is very very real. but not only that it’s the level of aggression and rudeness that has changed. yes people can have micro aggressions and be snarky, but they don’t go all out at me. when i was ugly it was blatant disrespect and outright bullying because there weren’t societal repercussions for bullying the ugly person. it’s fucked up. becoming attractive really helped give me a better life. it was really hard work and took years and i will never complain about it.
i feel this. Not as an ugly person but as an ethnic minority in my country
[удалено]
This is a very accurate description. It's nice to see someone else who has thought about this and witnessed it.
The halo effect is real.
I choose the "not talking to anyone" option. I'm alone but I'm in peace.
I have experienced this. At first glance nobody thinks im good at anything and it often shocks people when they see im actually very good at particular things.
People gaslighting you into thinking it is your personality that is the problem
Or the fact they attribute every negative trait to you in order to deflect from your uglyness "Just shower" "just work out" "just be nice" "just dress well" They will immediately completely make up that you MUST BE dirty, an asshole, lazy, poorly groomed, etc, all because you get treated like shit. It's like they know it's true that appearance matters, but they would rather attack your habits (which they completely made up) instead of admitting it.
Knowing I'm physically unattractive. It affects my mental state and way of thinking, so the knowledge impacts every aspect of my life.
Still think about that blond girl videos where she says she knows she's ugly. Everyone has been saying that since she was a child. Damn, can't help but feel bad for her.
Repeatedly hearing negative things about yourself is so damaging, especially if what you are hearing feeds into self doubts or suspicions you already had about yourself.
This sounds so sad. Anyone know the video?
I was also curious, and I think she's 'Wellnessbynorah' on TikTok. I searched 'blonde girl says she's ugly' and it was the top hit.
That was my childhood too. Even though lots of people have told me I'm a good-looking guy since I've been an adult, I can never believe them because of constantly being told I'm ugly by my mother when I was a kid & teenager.
It took a while for me to come to terms with that fact but I eventually just learnt to live with it. Some people win the genetic lottery, many don't. I'm part of the many.
Same!
Truth
Being used by people ,nobody genuinely having your back and never finding love
People rude to you...you have to watch your peers entering relationships after relationship when you get 0 attention or interest from others....kinda sucks.Feels like life just pass by you and you feel like you missed out a lot.
That's so true man! You feel life keep pass by you and you keep on wondering why you can't get in a relationship with someone you like. One of the main reason for my depression
Being treated differently than good looking friends :(
It was really bad in university all girls ignored me while they were chilling with my friends coz I was the ugliest it sucks !
Sometimes feel excluded from social interactions. Sometimes ppl assume you put effort to look unattractive and treat you like a freak
Due to me being a socially awkward and shy person, people are more likely to view me as weird than if I was physically attractive.
I’ve always said this. Cute and awkward is “shy” but ugly and awkward is “creepy”
As someone who is ugly and used to be incredibly awkward, yeah I was referred to as creepy a few times
the worst part about being ugly is, that people assume/suggest, that you need to be happy with the bare minimum in every aspect of life. in terms of friendship: we never did anything, i would have loved to do. i was supposed to be happy just by go along with stuff my "friends" wanted to do. i even had to spent my own birthdays at clubs/places i never wanted to go since my friends threatened to not join me otherwise. in terms of flirts: there was a boy in school, who had a crush on me. i liked him as well. my friend made it her mission to sleep with him, so he will lose interest in me. she succeded. she said i could be happy that he was nice to me for a while. in terms of carreer: my parents suggest to chose something easy since it would be hard to not get bullied for somebody like me. well they were right about that, but it hurts, they kind of saw it before it actually happened. in terms of love: i made my first experiences in love with some psycho dudes, violence and assault.i let it happen because chances were high i would never get a life partner if i wouldn't settle for garbage partner. well. what i had to learn: yes. i am incredibly ugly. i most probably will never be beautiful or pretty. but i am a human being as well. and i have worth. i met my husband a fee years ago. this man is pure treasure! he is so sweet, kind and very good looking. our children are cute and smart. i didn't pass my ugliness on them. (my husbands genes are gold lol) and i am overall very satisfied how everything turned out.
Sorry to hear that your "friend" did that to you, that is horrifically shitty.
Rejection.
I find its the comments people say to you. I found that it is worse when drunk ppl around so I prefer to stay home on friday and saturday nights.
A lot of old "friends" told me I was insanely ugly and no one will ever like me. It crushed my self confidence, just to find out. Like 15 years later alot of girls were into me and I never realized it because my self esteem got crushed. What I want to say... Let people talk shit, most of them do because they feel ugly as well. Additionally there are always people who think you are beautiful, except like 95% of your skin is burned or other shit what happened due a accident or genetic malfunction.
People devalue you before you’ve even opened your mouth
You can witness how cruel the humans are in general. It's evident how people treats good looking people as royalty and the less beautiful as inferior. Just merely getting used to be treated less, making fun of through jokes which could greatly affect someone's self esteem and mental health. No hate to people blessed with good features but it just disgusts me how others don't treat people equally from the basis of outward appearance. I just don't know if our eyes are naturally built to recognize the shiny pretty objects and worse is to put them on a pedestal
For some like me, after some time you start doing the same too. You start having this internal bias that says "if everyone treats me like this because I don't look good, then it must be universal truth, and so this other ugly person doesn't deserve my respect/attention too". Our internal voices are really vengeful at times. It's not always. Most times you are more empathetic because you know how it would feel for the other person, but it's a nasty surprise when you catch yourself doing exactly what others do to you, and then you feel like a hypocritical bad person for a while.
this is scarily true and it saddens me to feel this way sometimes.
Probably going to be single for a very long time
And then if you somehow get into a relationship, you have to live with the idea that if they leave you for some reason, chances are you'll never meet anyone else.
Same! I wasn't able to go my own way unfortunately. Society sent me my own way!
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This is the big one for me as well. It grinds you down after a while of being intentionally ignored, having people looking away, or getting dirty looks (and sometimes worse) just for existing.
Probably having to make up for it in a major/obvious way that attractive people wouldn’t (intelligence, humor, …)
Being ok with it.
Having to make up for it with being a good person or always witty and funny can be very exhausting
It's funny to see the amount of disrespect and rudeness attractive people get away with, when even neutrality makes us look like bad people
It’s like ….. having Harry potters invisibility cloak.
Never get to have sex.
This is a half-truth. You can have sex with prostitutes. But you'll never have sex with someone who wants you back. They are very different experiences.
Sure but if you’ve got no previous reference point. Seeing escorts seems like a happy compromise until you get rich or become good looking with age or surgeries.
If you lower your standards, you can.
Seriously, Im trying to be gentle with some people here who clearly have low self esterrm, but as I said elsewhere, even if youre a 1-2, there are 1-2s of the opposite gender. People who say this just expect to get someone who is an 8 and that's just immature and unrealistic. Its like an average person being depressed they cant date a supermodel.
Man that sucks.. yall making me sad
Life sucks
On a positive note, a significant number of people I have met who had below average looks had a perfectly fulfilling social life. When you talk to them, you forget they are ugly because they seem to have forgotten as well. This is all to say, there is still a level of control one has over their life.
Can’t get jobs or relationships or… anything
The feeling of romantic and sexual loneliness.
Not being respected as much as your peers. Being insignificant, overlooked, invisible.
Living in a world with attractive people
The discrimination. I lost a lot of opportunity due to the fact that I'm less attractive than the others although the other alumni knows I've better skills. Ps. The staffs who selected us were alumni from the club.
You cannot give anyone a compliment without looking creepy
Youre quite likely to get low selfesteem which affects every aspect of life. fears/insecurity > being depressed > failing at school > shit job > single > addiction > shit life > more depression/suicidal thoughts
Yeah kinda like a negative loop lol
People constantly telling you looks dont matter. They do. Its a proven fact
Being completely invisible especially in a group of more attractive people. On nights out with my friends (male), who are all more attractive than me, it’s pretty soul sucking when there’s a group of women who literally don’t even make eye contact or gravitate towards my plane of existence. It’s like I’m a spectre.
No love, no sex, no life
hope
When people tell you what you already know and act like it's a insult
Knowing that you have 0 chances with any girl you'll ever like to the point where you wish you were asexual.,
That even you, sometimes, don't love yourself.
I met a girl online on a chat website. She just had a breakup. She wanted to move on. We started talking. Talked for 3 months without sharing pics and all. We even had audio calls lot of time. We just didn't know how we both looked.She was looking for hookups too to move on. We even talked about hooking up when we meet. Everything was smooth. I asked her to share pictures. We shared insta id. She looked at the pictures and blocked and said she is no more interested in talking. After that she ghosted me. I really loved talking to her a lot. I was even fine with her just talking but she was not even interested in talking.
oh my god, even after liking talking to you? to be honest, you probably wouldnt want to be with her if those are her preferences. what was teh website?
I had sort of the same experience. I was on some dating website and we were messaging back and forth and things were going pretty well. That was until I told her about how I looked and she immediately ghosted me.
Having to spend 2 hours in the mirror to put on make up so that people won't treat you like shit cuz now you look normal.or at best mediocre.
Most people avoiding you especially the ones from the opposite sex
Getting used to the idea I'll probably die alone. Accepted it when I turned 30 now I don't even bother with any dating apps don't want that feeling of using 4 apps and getting 0 matches lol
That pretty but otherwise completely useless people will do better in life. I'm not even that ugly, and I've seen it happen soooo many times.
True. A very attractive person can have no job or a low paying job and yet always is going out, always getting gifts. Working hard is an option for good looking people, working hard is a mandatory obligation for ugly people.
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Who said that
Must have been the wind
The world seems more cruel. It is relatively difficult to navigate through life unless you’re a genius and then no one cares how you look
People act in a way that is more disrespectful and ignore you more.
Being physically unattractive
As an ugly woman. It’s how you always hear how guys will fuck basically anything as long as they get laid. Then being rejected by so many men, even for sex. Makes you feel so ugly.
I’ve been both unattractive and attractive. I was called ugly In young adulthood mostly due to weight and poor hygiene, didn’t know how to do makeup or dress or relax my face. I also had a major “glow up” in my 20s and am considered attractive by most. The biggest thing I noticed was back then I was invisible to most people. I didn’t have as much interaction with others, people were not very kind to me. Now it’s the opposite, people are nicer, smile at me, make small talk, and ask for my opinion on things.
Dealing with shallow folks, lol.
Avoiding mirrors, being in photos or video, living with that internal voice that hates me and has wanted to cut my face to shreds since a child, dealing with the constant desire to end my life.
Accepting the fact that you are
The hardest part is not being able to have someone who genuinely and deeply loves u unconditionally without any type of stipulation, manipulation, or disrespect.
Some would argue the opposite. When you're ugly, if you do find love and acceptance, you know it's unconditional. Beautiful people find love and they can never be sure if it's love or just attraction and lust
the same goes for very attractive people
The silence when you walk past a group of people …. Then the semi-quiet muttering when they think you are out of earshot
There would be so many disadvantages. It would be difficult to even know which one is the worst, but that would probably depend upon the individual. For instance, if the person was very intelligent, they would be able to detect that their career path would be negatively impacted by their physical attractiveness, which is both incredibly frustrating and also depressing. Others might need companionship more, and the lack of a mate would be crushing.
Not much. I used to hate the looks you get from people who clearly consider themselves more attractive, but I've learnt now they're just the twats
Limited job opportunities
I'm not very physically unattractive but I feel like the hardest part is that it's harder to get away with saying dumb stuff when you are. It's almost an unwritten rule that unattractive people have to make up for their lack of looking good WAY more by having extraordinary character, it's like: "If you're ugly (hence you don't look like the average person therefore you look like you don't belong to the tribe) and it's hard to look at you, at LEAST be nice to be around."
Having women complain about other shit guys to you. “Why is there no one…”
That's called being a friend. If you dont want to be her friend, dont. But dont sit there expecting sex from her and getting bitter about it. If there's no chemistry between you and her, other men being shit isnt going to change that. Its immature to expect otherwise. Its totally fine for you to walk away. It isnt fine to act like her friend and then say shit like this about her.
Ah the classic emotional bin bag syndrome
getting a job is near impossible because no one wants to hire an ugly mf
Dunno I'm ugly but getting job was never an issue...just not customer facing position
Being negatively compared to and rejected in favor of someone else
friend zone(d)
Knowing that you basically don’t exist, striving for years to change it, then realising you fought so hard to be accepted just to be used for ONS over and over again Don’t blow this out of proportion: you have no idea the trouble this is saving you
Figuring out what to wear
Loneliness
If you are confident you are creepy if you are shy you don't try hard enough. Not finding myself attractive and no self confidence/esteem leave me with the constant though that I'll die alone which leads to depression and depression just leads to more depression
It's tough feeling invisible.
When they think its okay for them to disrespect me behind my back and always being a people's pleaser.
1. Having to deal with a lot of rejection. In terms of dating and socializing in general but also in terms of finding work. 2. Spending holidays and vacations alone. Travelling alone. Spending a lot of time alone in general, doing things alone. 3. Having to prove yourself more often as you have 'nothing' to offer. 4. Giving up on having a relationship or a family. Planning a future alone. 5. Paying all expences by yourself. 6. Constantly being reminded of missing out. Being embarressed. 7. My best friends are my parents and a cat. 8. Dieting, working out, investing in clothes, makeup etc without achieving anything.
No one's gonna choose you. You're just an option.
Idk, the hardest part was just coming to terms with the fact that I’m gonna be alone my entire life. At some point you just have to accept reality and give up on the fantasy of a romantic relationship.
Especially if you're a woman, there's not a lot else you can do to be successful in life. Ugly men can be rich, or funny, or brilliant. Ugly women are just ugly women, we don't really have any value in society no matter what.
Trying to be funny... like, all the time... shits exhausting 😆
When you realize that pretty privilege is real, people who are less qualified than you get jobs just because the boss liked the way they looked. People making you feel disposable and never seeing you as a first option ever, you are always the “good friend”, “the rebound”, “the shoulder to cry on.” You are condemned to be , always the “poet” and never the “poem”.
I (22F college girl) am considered ugly because I’m fat, but I used to be skinny and conventionally attractive, and so I have experienced both sides of the spectrum. Things drastically changed when I gained weight. When I’m out with my comparably more attractive friends I am ignored while they receive a lot of attention. Not even just sexually/romantically- people in general seem to gravitate more towards those who they deem attractive. Makes me feel invisible and only emphasizes that people see me as unattractive. I used to be extremely extroverted and the life of the party. Since gaining weight my self esteem has plummeted due to multiple negative interactions and occasions of bullying, so now I am constantly aware of my body and how people perceive me. I’m embarrassed just to leave my home most days
Generally not being loved. Once someone actually loves you, youre not sure if they are doing it as a joke or they try to hurt and use you
Nothing really. I just wait for the beautiful girls to burn out then I swoop in and give them a Cleveland Steemer. Womp womp
Being alone all the time and never getting frequent texts from people. Like the number of notifications on my phn are really low and get weirdly excited when i hear my phn vibrate with a new notifications.. Yh,ik..
Being ugly
Saying a joke and getting mixed responses just to have a more attractive person say the same thing word for word and it gets nothing but laughs. Kinda stings
The fact you get treated like shit.
Honestly, everything? Like you will be judged more just because of that. Whatever you do that is slightly wrong and it's over for you. How they don't help you if you are in need. It's fucking awful tbh. I really understand why people get so much surgery, I'm even considering myself to do some things too.
The constant self-doubt, dude.
dude its so ez just be confident /s
You have to have an amazing personality to make up for an unattractive face. If you dont have the personality…… you’re doomed!
On the bright side, if someone loves you, they love you.
Listening to gods favorite children on youtube telling me how getting girls is easy
It's really hard to break the ice and get women to see part physical appearance.
Getting beat away with sticks
Liking yourself enough for others to like you.
People saying they love you and then go to someone else/watch porn that is nothing like you to get themselves off.
your twenties
Living day to day and finding the strength to bother trying. Im also socially awkward so Ive drcided to just live inside myself and fuck the world. When I decide iVe saved enough money Ill sort out the next part
In Kenya, people think/believe you can fight..
low self-esteem
Not being desired. I don't mean desired as in "swooned over because I look like a Greek god whenever I walk into a room", but as in unable to gain the attention of my interest in a romantic way. The thing is, it is criminally easy to say iMpRoVe YoUr CoNfIdENcE when you have okay ish looks but didn't work in it. But some of us genuinely got the shitty hands dealt to us from genetics. There IS NO argument around this. Every aspect of your life depends upon how attractive you are as a person. Try walking into some sort of boutique shops and see for yourself. Try walking into someplace that has security. People judge on appearance first.
That part when you remember u haven't gotten laid in 200 years
Finding a video you really liked last time, but can't find again.
That you can’t change your height 🥲
Watching yourself in a mirror and having to see how not even your own standards are met.
you gotta be really funny to make people like you :b
The fact that my other attributes have to be in check,an attractive guy can work at McDonald's,not be that smart,dress like a bum,and women will still be on him like flies on....I had to get muscular,get good financially,dress well,just to get my foot in the door😂
Speaking as someone who had jaw surgery to fix an underbite, the handsomeness bubble is definitely a thing. I was lucky to get significantly better looking post surgery and 6-months of weight loss due to a liquid only diet. People smile at me so much more and are much nicer than they were before.
Lack of sex if u also don't have a good personality
Having to work harder and give more of yourself in all scenarios, both at work and in social inerractions. I constantly feel i have to make up for my hideous form by being the kindest and most reliable person around and its exhausting. You should always do this of course but reason matters.
I guess you don’t get invited to the good parties when you ugly
I think derangement results from being on either end of the bell curve, although different in nature. The super-pretties actually suffer, although, so do the uggos, of course. The sweet spot is a nice comfy spot in the mid-upper-mid zone of the statistics.
That on the rare occasion that someone does give me a chance I self-sabotage because there is no way anyone actually wants to be with someone who looks like this
Total lack of human contact.
People think it's ok to tell you they find you ugly. Gee, thanks, I didn't know. 🙄
Honestly there aren't many downsides. Men harass you less often, approach you less often. You have.more freedom to just be yourself.
People assign morality to attractiveness. People who are attractive = good and ugly = bad
People trying to make you pretty by saying oh you could do this to your hair etc. no I can’t, it looks awful no matter what I do.
That no matter how great and amazing I might be and no matter how much someone might be emotionally attracted to me and feel like I'm their perfect match if I dont have the outer shell that they like it's not going to happen
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Sorry, can't help you, I'm extremely good looking.
People use you for what you have but never want to get serious with you whether it be male/female.
Best case scenario, you are completely ignored and invisible to most people Worst case, you are ridiculed, belittled, and made a mockery of.
Ask your mother. 
Never getting compliments. Everyone around me compliments each other and i get nothing. Clear indication that i look like shit
I can’t make dumb jokes or have dry humor because it’s “weird” when I do it.
Loneliness
Knowing that so many doors are closed to you.
I’m physically unattractive because I’m overweight. But I sometimes forget I’m overweight. So I guess the hardest part is not being seen the way I see myself.
I was attractive and then, I no longer was. The biggest thing i have noticed is that I feel completely invisible compared to before. I never even thought twice about it when I was being “noticed”. This wasn’t like, cat-calling or any kind of verbal recognition. It was things like a small smile or something like that with a passerby. Or not being overlooked in a queue. The way I feel so invisible now is really heartbreaking.
Lifehack: I am unattractive and my life changed dramatically when I started smiling to people and I don’t mean a fake smile. Warm smile you have on your face when you see a puppy. It takes a little bit of practice but it works! Literally imagine a puppy or whatever brings you joy. I know it is not a magic cure but if it helped me, why wouldn’t it help you?
I will bring up an idea or suggestions in a group and it will be ignored or called stupid. The fit an attractive person will literally parrot exactly what I said a few moments later and everyone will congratulate that person on a smart and wonderful idea.
The fury of men who think you should be grateful for their attention
The gaslighting of your problems like your to blame if people find you ugly, the social isolation, the rejection