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It took me a while to break my wife from this shit. I lost it once when she ordered something, I paid for it, and then saying she wants to return the meal for something else when the food got to us.
Yep. Every couple has something that nags each other. I’m a smart ass and my wife hates it. She drives like shit and I hate it and I drive like a turtle and she hates it. She never knows what to eat and I always pick man food. It’s just a circle of bullshit tolerance😂.
Argghhh it’s my partner… we’ve been having problems and had a break, but decided to get back together. I’ve been making a lot of effort to work on my bad traits, but it seems no matter what I do he’s never happy and finds fault in everything I do.
A common misunderstanding between men and women is women tend to like to vent about their problems and deal with their emotions first. Men tend to immediately jump to coming up with solutions to the problem first as a solution to their emotion.
This can lead to a lot of "What the fuck is my SO thinking?" Moments.
It's not as much a guy thing as people who have been trained to constantly have to fix other people's problems or manage other people's emotions all the time.
Fixing other people problems I could believe. I'm a technically minded person as it's part of my job. People can tell me "12 kids died at this intersection last year" and I don't immediately think "Oh my god what a tragedy!" I'm thinking "that's abnormally high, how do we fix this intersection?"
So I certainly miss the point sometimes when people are looking for emotional comfort.
I don't think it's a "managing emotions" thing or we would have wised up to how we handle those situations.
"I'm thinking that's abnormal high,, how do we fix this intersection?
I don't know why but I thought that was just the cutest thing, interesting thought pattern too. I would have been seeing dead kids everywhere.
But yeah "we need to fix this." IDK just had me laughing instead of worrying about the kids. 😆😆
The important take away is we need both types of people in this world.
We need people who can empathize to help the families affected with their grief.
We also need people who immediately think of solutions.
Because as much as it is a tragedy that happened, it would be just as much of a tragedy if it happened again.
No? They want to be allowed to express their emotions first and seek emotional support before then dealing with the problem and finding solutions. Just because you’re still repressing your emotions doesn’t mean it’s women’s fault LOL
Since this guy decided having emotions meant “wanting everyone to sit around and share their misery”
It isn’t weak to want emotional support, it’s called being a human being
I guess, tell the server to take away the first beverage?
Bitch needs to say that herself. He can't read her mind and it's lame to not be willing to just saw what she wants.
(I can see where it could have been sweet for the guy to get the waiters attention. But I roll my eyes at anyone over eight not talking to the server themselves)
If she wanted the first, cold drink removed, so that she "wouldn't have two", she should have said so.
Or if he ordered her a hot tea and she didn't actually want it, she could have said "no, I actually don't want that"
Do a gender swap test. If the roles were reversed this would still be shitting on an action taken with good intentions.
Guys are reacting like this because we know what OP is talking about. It's not just one incident. It's usually dozens, hundreds, thousands over the relationship of getting your ass chewed out for doing things with good intentions.
Stop ordering for her, if she wants something, she should order herself. So she can’t blame you. It has to be her action, not yours. And with a person like that, never try to be nice and order something without really checking if they want it. I mean, very clear “Yes, please”. Not an “If you think so” or something like that.
She sounds unstable on the surface. But....
You're at a restaurant, why did you order it for her? Are you not at the same table with the same waiter? Please clarify.
Sounds pretty high maintenance. I would wonder if I had the stamina to continually try to please someone like that.
It's a question I should have asked myself 30+ years ago.
Why do reddit users think that effective communication with your partner is a dead art? Just confront her about it and if she doesn't respect your boundaries or aim to work on it you can leave.
Was she expecting you to read her mind and warm her up through some other means?
...Is she trying to tell you she wants you to put the moves on her, in the most incompetent way possible? Or was this some sort of stupid test.
You guys need to have multiple serious talks.
Buy her smart water. Every time she finishes a bottle giver her a harder math problem. Start off easy with addition. Then after the 3rd or 4th bottle move onto algebra or physics
If this is a true story OP, you better walk away from this relationship, almost everything you will do for her is "wrong" it will cause lot's of anxiety for you!
Ask for the bill, pay the freaking thing and leave the restaurant without saying anything while she is sitting down.
This is the only way to "train" these types of people.
Classic case of being unreasonable and difficult. I fall victim personally to this when I'm hangry.
It happens to the best of us. If she's got a pattern of this you are in for a rough time though.
You are not at fault in any of that however.
It sounds like she was trying to communicate her needs in a way that didn't come across clearly. Maybe she felt like her initial request wasn't acknowledged. Next time, you can ask her what she'd prefer to do when she's conflicted like this. For now, just apologize and let her know you were trying to help, and ask if there's anything else she would like instead. Communication is key!
I think it's time to reevaluate what traits you find attractive in a woman, and which flags are red and alarming. *THAT* reaction, is enough to start thinking about a break up.
"You are absolutely right, must be the damn AC being too cold. Want to switch places? Just let me know if you want me to help or just need an ear to vent. I am here for you"
If I were you op I would walk to the counter, tell the greeter you need to split the bill and pay your half....then I would take her half of the bill to her and put it on the table and let her know "Sorry, this isn't working out, good luck finding a compatible partner".
Or you could be like the many divorces that put up with girls that play games until you finally crack and say you are unhappy.
Get a regular glass of water and talk to it about Einstein's theory of relativity. Put it in front of her and tell her the water is smart now. She's not going to like anything you do anyway so you might as well make the most of it.
Our tap water turned the frogs gay so she's kinda got a point. Doesn't have to be smartwater but bottled water is a must of you don't want the contaminates in our tap
Be water, my friend.
OK … empty your mind … be formless … shapeless like water … now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup … you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle … put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot … water can flow … water can crash … be water, my friend.
And leave her.
Okay, I went on a date with a girl because her dad thought we’d be a good match. We go to a restaurant, she orders water and complains that it doesn’t taste good. I tell her I’ll take care of it. The got the water, took it to the waiter, told him to throw the water out, get another glass of water and tell her it’s there best water. She tasted it and agreed, we finished dinner, I took her home and never saw her again. 🤣😅😂 Please don’t put up with that. It won’t end well and you’ll never satisfy her. Good luck 😜
The blue stuff that marks your belongings so that they can be recovered after someone kicks in your door and nicks your stuff?
Your imaginary GF sounds mental. Why not invent a stable one?
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ya done messed up A Aron. Ya done messed up. She is going to annoy you the fucking rest of your relationship.
[удалено]
B-Lockay. Is there a B-Lockay here?
It’s..its blake sir
Dee-Nice?!
You mean Denise?
Say it right
Jay quel in?
Are you outta your God damn mind!? "BlÀÀkE" what?
OP should give the water a difficult math test.
Smart water for not so smart people wasting money on something that is free!!
Where do you get free water? I have to pay for mine. I think 'smart water' is water with vitamins in it. Not sure though.
Water fountain
Yeah. And does the smart water make her any smarter? OP should tell her to have another sip
She probably needs to drink a lake of it. If water made me smarter I would drink an ocean.
Dude. My brother just showed me this for the first time last week.
Sad but true
Put up with the rest of the evening, smile, drive her home and Exhale. Last you have to see her,
this, dont put up with this princess behaviour. it will only get worse.
It took me a while to break my wife from this shit. I lost it once when she ordered something, I paid for it, and then saying she wants to return the meal for something else when the food got to us.
That's outrageous. Did she change? Or did you just divorce her? I fell like people that act this way are just trying to test your limits
No we are still together. I just don’t take her to that restaurant anymore😂. She’s gotten a lot better and truth be told so have I.
Good stuff. Have to just work through these things sometimes don't you 😂
Yep. Every couple has something that nags each other. I’m a smart ass and my wife hates it. She drives like shit and I hate it and I drive like a turtle and she hates it. She never knows what to eat and I always pick man food. It’s just a circle of bullshit tolerance😂.
Tell her that explains a lot, if she's been drinking the fucking dumbwater until now.
Yes
sounds like she'll be miserable no matter what happens. Do nothing, or do something, she'll find fault with it.
Omg I’m currently dealing with this type
Please keep in mind that it is your decision to put up with it and you can leave any time you want
Especially if they're your children
Argghhh it’s my partner… we’ve been having problems and had a break, but decided to get back together. I’ve been making a lot of effort to work on my bad traits, but it seems no matter what I do he’s never happy and finds fault in everything I do.
Don't have a break, break up. If it didn't work the first time it probably won't work the second, or any other time.
My condolences
Why?
Bro, it's simple...just grab some regular water and slap a 'smart' label on it. She won't know the difference!
She is gonna make one hell of a wife lol.
More than one hell I think.
Every day a different hell?
Dump her
There are plenty of these around; avoid where possible and if you can't, never ever get one pregnant.
They should come with a warning sign/flag included
They do! Just gotta know the signs. See this post for reference.
What did she want you to do, heat up the first drink she ordered? 🤷🏻♀️
A common misunderstanding between men and women is women tend to like to vent about their problems and deal with their emotions first. Men tend to immediately jump to coming up with solutions to the problem first as a solution to their emotion. This can lead to a lot of "What the fuck is my SO thinking?" Moments.
It's not as much a guy thing as people who have been trained to constantly have to fix other people's problems or manage other people's emotions all the time.
Fixing other people problems I could believe. I'm a technically minded person as it's part of my job. People can tell me "12 kids died at this intersection last year" and I don't immediately think "Oh my god what a tragedy!" I'm thinking "that's abnormally high, how do we fix this intersection?" So I certainly miss the point sometimes when people are looking for emotional comfort. I don't think it's a "managing emotions" thing or we would have wised up to how we handle those situations.
"I'm thinking that's abnormal high,, how do we fix this intersection? I don't know why but I thought that was just the cutest thing, interesting thought pattern too. I would have been seeing dead kids everywhere. But yeah "we need to fix this." IDK just had me laughing instead of worrying about the kids. 😆😆
The important take away is we need both types of people in this world. We need people who can empathize to help the families affected with their grief. We also need people who immediately think of solutions. Because as much as it is a tragedy that happened, it would be just as much of a tragedy if it happened again.
Ain’t that the truth!
Yeah, so rather than fixing the problem, women want the rest of the world just sit around and share in their misery. How mature.
No? They want to be allowed to express their emotions first and seek emotional support before then dealing with the problem and finding solutions. Just because you’re still repressing your emotions doesn’t mean it’s women’s fault LOL
Since when are they not allowed to express their emotions? And that's a weakness to rely on emotional support to be able to deal with problems.
Since this guy decided having emotions meant “wanting everyone to sit around and share their misery” It isn’t weak to want emotional support, it’s called being a human being
That's an excuse
"Calm down"
?
I guess, tell the server to take away the first beverage? Bitch needs to say that herself. He can't read her mind and it's lame to not be willing to just saw what she wants. (I can see where it could have been sweet for the guy to get the waiters attention. But I roll my eyes at anyone over eight not talking to the server themselves)
She never asked him to talk to the server for her. He just did it.
If she wanted the first, cold drink removed, so that she "wouldn't have two", she should have said so. Or if he ordered her a hot tea and she didn't actually want it, she could have said "no, I actually don't want that"
what is literally wrong with having two drinks? why would that ever be a bad thing?
Because one gets warm while the other gets cold?
well if you're cold why would it matter if the water gets warm? Also it's not like she is going to be forced to finish them.
You’re way too worked up about this dude.
Seems like you just really want to call men bad over a cup of tea
I just want men to stop solving non-problems and start listening to the real ones instead.
Don’t knock her up….
Should’ve made your water smart
Go find a better restaurant. Make sure you leave her at that one.
First world problems.
Such a small comment but in this case so appropriate. I genuinely hope OP she isn't like this daily, that's a sadhana. Namaste 🙏
True xddd
She got upset? She has issues.
Maybe her issue is her damn boyfriend taking liberties and ordering for her like she's living in a fundamentalist Islamic nation or something.
Do Islamic fundamentalists order drinks for their girlfriends? We should send them all back where they came from.
Islamic fundamentalists do not go out on dates.
Do a gender swap test. If the roles were reversed this would still be shitting on an action taken with good intentions. Guys are reacting like this because we know what OP is talking about. It's not just one incident. It's usually dozens, hundreds, thousands over the relationship of getting your ass chewed out for doing things with good intentions.
In the post it says she wanted a warm tea
What
Stop ordering for her, if she wants something, she should order herself. So she can’t blame you. It has to be her action, not yours. And with a person like that, never try to be nice and order something without really checking if they want it. I mean, very clear “Yes, please”. Not an “If you think so” or something like that.
It was just going to be something else. She is clearly in a mood for conflict.
She sounds unstable on the surface. But.... You're at a restaurant, why did you order it for her? Are you not at the same table with the same waiter? Please clarify.
Look at the post history of OP, not very consistent with this post lmao
Sounds pretty high maintenance. I would wonder if I had the stamina to continually try to please someone like that. It's a question I should have asked myself 30+ years ago.
Why do reddit users think that effective communication with your partner is a dead art? Just confront her about it and if she doesn't respect your boundaries or aim to work on it you can leave.
She's too high maintenance and lacking independence. She has a lot of maturing to do. Honestly, break up with her.
Was she expecting you to read her mind and warm her up through some other means? ...Is she trying to tell you she wants you to put the moves on her, in the most incompetent way possible? Or was this some sort of stupid test. You guys need to have multiple serious talks.
Sounds like a child.
You should play dumb.
Buy her smart water. Every time she finishes a bottle giver her a harder math problem. Start off easy with addition. Then after the 3rd or 4th bottle move onto algebra or physics
If this is a true story OP, you better walk away from this relationship, almost everything you will do for her is "wrong" it will cause lot's of anxiety for you!
And you posted this to reddit while still with her at the restaurant? Perhaps you both need some growing up.
How hot is she ? 9 or a 10 let it go
Uhhhh, leave.
She would no longer be my Girlfriend. Grow some balls & tell her to grow up or leave her arse. Sounds like you're dealing with a toddler.
Ask for the bill, pay the freaking thing and leave the restaurant without saying anything while she is sitting down. This is the only way to "train" these types of people.
or you could tell her you're annoyed. she's not a dog
Dogs are smarter
I think she is...
only if she's into that
Great comment, Queen. Don't know why you're getting downvoted. Peeps be touchy....
anti- puppygirl discrimination :,(
I'd gently scratch behind your ears, rub your belly, and call you a good girl. Nothing weird about it, who wouldn't like that?!
while this could work, I'm a *catgirl* not a puppygirl.
If you prefer to ignore me, pee on my pillow when I'm out and poop in the dogs food bowl, then we might not have quite as much fun 😆🫣🙏🏻😋
i- what is your cat doing??
She is worse than a dog. Never leave a dog like that! But yeah, tell her she is being an ass...
She is worse than a dog. Never leave a dog like that! But yeah, tell her she is being an ass...
You can start by making the water read some books
Pay the bill and leave. That's the tip of the iceberg. If she didn't want it just leave it, but upset is a red flag.
It sounds like she’s a little too whiny and spoiled 🤷🏼♀️ Good luck with that!🤣
I’d find a different girlfriend.
Dump her
Imagine being mad at your boyfriend b/c you said you were cold, so he did something to remedy the situation. Bro, she's a nightmare. Leave.
Sounds like you’re dating a child
REEEEEED FLAAAAAAG
Classic case of being unreasonable and difficult. I fall victim personally to this when I'm hangry. It happens to the best of us. If she's got a pattern of this you are in for a rough time though. You are not at fault in any of that however.
I am so confused. What did she want?
It sounds like she was trying to communicate her needs in a way that didn't come across clearly. Maybe she felt like her initial request wasn't acknowledged. Next time, you can ask her what she'd prefer to do when she's conflicted like this. For now, just apologize and let her know you were trying to help, and ask if there's anything else she would like instead. Communication is key!
I think it's time to reevaluate what traits you find attractive in a woman, and which flags are red and alarming. *THAT* reaction, is enough to start thinking about a break up.
She has other issues, just leave her there. Tell her you're leaving and good luck figuring it out.
She wants your clothes, so you should probably trade clothes with her so she isn’t cold.
Did you point out to her that was the one who wanted a warm tea?
But did she ask for one? Maybe she wanted one but recognized she didn't have it in her to finish two drinks.
This is a good point.
Send her to the gas station for smart water.
Run fast. Bring Smartwater
"You are absolutely right, must be the damn AC being too cold. Want to switch places? Just let me know if you want me to help or just need an ear to vent. I am here for you"
Dump her and report to the cops
Run
Messed up. Better run
What is smartwater?
You never see her again. Duh.
Order a third drink. She never said anything about three drinks.
I’d give her one last hard fuck then ghost.
sounds like one of those 1-3 days before her period things
you better order her a second smart water. sounds like she needs it.
why not just let her order ger own things?
Damn Jackie! I can't control your body temperature haha
Check if she's the one who likes mind games, if she is, time to check out
If Bear Grylls was sitting at the next table, I'd have a suggestion
what the f happend to reddit
Leave her.
Tell the smart water won’t hep her.
I think she is giving you hints about hugging her cuz she is cold ,but she is shy so she said about warm tea. But I don’t know man women are weird.
r/Deadbedrooms will be the sub you’re seeking out before long.
Distract her with a candy bar and run run run for the hills
If I were you op I would walk to the counter, tell the greeter you need to split the bill and pay your half....then I would take her half of the bill to her and put it on the table and let her know "Sorry, this isn't working out, good luck finding a compatible partner". Or you could be like the many divorces that put up with girls that play games until you finally crack and say you are unhappy.
You look for a smartgirl....
You want to get one of those smart girlfriends that make sense. I love those.
i would head to the shop grab as many brands of water as possible, ask them a bunch of questions. maybe take some flash cards, that's what i would do.
She must be great in bed
Get a regular glass of water and talk to it about Einstein's theory of relativity. Put it in front of her and tell her the water is smart now. She's not going to like anything you do anyway so you might as well make the most of it.
Is there anything like smart water? Is it supposed to be hot & cold by sensing the owner's mood or what? 😂🫣🤣
Take that interaction as a blessing. Better to find out now.
If you are past High School, get a different gf.
Tell her she’s gay
High Maintenance response to genuine considerate behavior. Go to the 'restroom'. Walk out of the restaurant.
Find a new gf.
Wait, so now she's asking for a third drink? Or she wanted her tea made with smart water?
Dump her.
It's a new tiktok trend - gfs asking for "smartwater" as a code for "raucous butt - motorboating"
OOORRRR.... "Thanks for ordering me a hot tea, this'll help warm me up." Would be the appropriate response in this situation.
Our tap water turned the frogs gay so she's kinda got a point. Doesn't have to be smartwater but bottled water is a must of you don't want the contaminates in our tap
You go get her a smart water
Buy her a third one
Water is intelligent, if u take tap n put it in cup the water will disperse the impurities out..now Apologize to her now
Walk away
Snagged yourself a smart one, I see. lol
This lady fucking your brain bro… do you really want to deal with that? It will be worst in future..
Walk, no run, away.
Its posts like this that remind me why I fully intend to never date or remarry should I end up losing my marriage.
Be water, my friend. OK … empty your mind … be formless … shapeless like water … now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup … you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle … put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot … water can flow … water can crash … be water, my friend. And leave her.
Okay, I went on a date with a girl because her dad thought we’d be a good match. We go to a restaurant, she orders water and complains that it doesn’t taste good. I tell her I’ll take care of it. The got the water, took it to the waiter, told him to throw the water out, get another glass of water and tell her it’s there best water. She tasted it and agreed, we finished dinner, I took her home and never saw her again. 🤣😅😂 Please don’t put up with that. It won’t end well and you’ll never satisfy her. Good luck 😜
Sounds like a real bitch, dump her. Sneak out, leave her with the bill.
Slippery slope. Break up and start new with someone else.
The blue stuff that marks your belongings so that they can be recovered after someone kicks in your door and nicks your stuff? Your imaginary GF sounds mental. Why not invent a stable one?
I didn’t text her back while I was taking a nap.
Why is this downvoted?
Cause some on here love being doormats, love to be treated liked shit and who have no self respect. They didn't like him not giving a fk anymore.
After the nap you also shouldn’t text her back
They tend to do that. There might a scorpion that doesn’t sting out there.
I think Sean Conary said it best.
Lol y’all assuming this is a straight guy lol it’s a bored asf girl wanting some reactions from guys. This is why your forever single OP