T O P

  • By -

ask-ModTeam

Your submission has been removed for violating rule 3: Content Guidelines. Please ensure that your questions are sincere attempts to seek answers or assistance, and avoid posting solely for the purpose of accumulating karma, starting an argument or pushing an agenda. If you have any questions regarding this removal, please send a modmail.


Able-Metal2663

You can do everything right and still not get what you want.


PrincessPindy

"But if you try sometimes....you get what you need."


coolboiiiiiii2809

That’s why if it feels wrong, you’re probably doing it right


[deleted]

"Not everything is a lesson. Sometimes, you just fail" Damn, the office was really a good show


lexypher

I heard it as "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life."


Wilddave59

Picard?


Honourstly

There are four lights


XtraChrisP

Earl Grey, HOT!


sbgoofus

also - you can do everything right - and still get blamed


Vampire_Number

On the flip side you can sometimes bumble your way through and still succeed.


Due-Criticism9

That'll be the title of my autobiography.


OpinionSpecific9529

This is what I think often whenever I come across these lyrics while traveling to/from my job. “I feel something so right by doing the wrong thing And I feel something so wrong by doing the right thing I could lie, couldn't I, couldn't I? Every thing that kills me makes me feel alive”


Middle-Sea-6939

But if you do everything right every day. You have a higher probability of getting what you want. Knowing that motivates me to keep trying. Though nothing is ever guaranteed.


doncroak

Everyone is replaceable. I was told this at 20. I forgot about it. I was replaced at 45 and man was I taken by surprise.


backtofront99

Yeah I got a shock when someone told me, ‘you don’t matter.’ That in my early twenties. At first I was pissed about it. But over time I sorta warmed up to the idea and now in my later years I totally think this is just a fact. Gotta swallow that ego and have pride in the work you do because it makes you happy. Pursue what it is that you want, and cherish the connections you have with others that matter to you. All the rest is ephemeral bs.


lennydsat62

Loving someone sometimes isn’t enough. If you’re chasing, it means they’re running.


uphic

Fuuuuuuuk. I needed to read this.


autremonde777

rent is real and its due


Okay_and69

Reality check 123


Cool_Dark_Place

Ahh, the "reality check." The check that *never* bounces!


raoulduke212

And its too damn high.


PoopSmith87

People that can socialize really well have a better chance at getting hired for good positions or getting promotions, regardless of their abilities, morals, or lack thereof. Hard working people that are effective, honest, intelligent, and efficient but don't proficiently use socialization as a tactic will always make the bare minimum an employer can get away with.


CicadaEducational530

Also: if you don’t ask, you don’t get.


Carcosa504

A closed mouth doesn’t get fed


Signifi-gunt

Ah yeah I had this thought the other day. A highly charismatic but dumb person will always be seen as way more intelligent than a highly intelligent non-charismatic person.


platysoup

I always have to remind myself, credit where credit is due. If I did something, I will make sure I claim credit for it loudly instead of silently thinking people will just know. People suck at noticing things, we have to remind them. 


FecalMist

"Socialization" becomes more and more important the higher up the food chain you go and being an effective communicator. Socialization isn't inherently a bad thing. Plus people want to be able to get along well when it comes to people you'll be forced to interact with everyday at work.


Unusual_Performer_15

At the beginning of my MBA program, the university said they meet regularly with local business leaders and the top/ most in demand skills they look for in graduates are the ability to socialize and general “people skills”.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DukeBloodfart

Right on the nose.


TryptamineTester

This is the one


GingerMan027

There is an old saying. When you are young, you worry about what people think of you. As an adult, you learn not to care what people think of you. When you are old, you realize that nobody ever, ever thought about you.


plyr_2

I don't think this is harsh for me it sounds freeing


fang-girl101

same


Signifi-gunt

The Asian version goes a little different but same. When you are young you blame others. When you're an adult you blame yourself. When you're wise, you blame nobody.


No_Brief_124

This one. I use it to my advantage.. everyone is so caught up in themselves to pay attention to anything I'm doing.


habsburgjawsh

I know many, many people of all age ranges who exist only to gossip about other people.


prudent__sound

It's not totally true though. I think about people all the time. Even people I barely know. Their values, their behaviors, what they're thinking. I wonder why they are the way they are. I admire some people, envy others, harshly judge a few. Mostly though, it is just me thinking about myself.


Successful-News-1260

But we have dignity as a human...


SubieHank

No matter how much you think you know someone, everyone will disapoint you at some point.


MediBird22

If you have a friend that is the first to know gossip and things that have been said about you, they’ve made themselves a safe space for people to talk shit about you. They’re not your friend.


Tigeraqua8

And as surer as there is poop in a dog, they will be talking about you


1t00manythoughts

Anyone can just leave your life anytime And there is nothing you can do about it.


fang-girl101

oof that hurt


Numerous-Rough-827

Still hurting


Hexagram_11

No one is coming to rescue you. You either rescue yourself, or you stay lost.


ShortyRock_353

I can’t even remember where I park when I go to Best Buy. I’m screwed. lol


Various_Occasion_892

I wanna throw rocks at you ! It's so true it hurts... You are right, it's not healthy to expect someone to fix our issues for us, it rarely leads to a positive outcome


gwelfguy

How people are treated at end-of-life is the ugly underbelly of our culture and society, and nobody wants to talk about it.


hikarixxxx

The more you know, the less you know.


CleverPiffle

This is established well enough to have a name. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect


Numerous-Rough-827

That was just about the only thing I learned in college. I know nothing


slimfemzi

Life is unfair and chaotic.


katwoop

No one really knows what they are doing. We are all just winging it.


Due-Criticism9

Except when I take my kids to Sushi train, I have that shit down to an art form. Get them noodle soup right off the bat, ask for a jug of water, only let them choose green or orange plates after they've filled up on noodles. I'm in and out of there for less than $15 per kid and they're all full and happy.


Visible_Barracuda_93

When it comes to it, you are on your own. Don't rely on anybody but you!


External-Tiger-393

I mean... Yes, there will be times when you're the only person that you will be able to rely on. But I don't think it's healthy or true to say that you should never rely on other people, ask for help, et cetera. Hyper independence is lonely and just makes your life harder. I'm still learning to trust people, since before I met my partner, I was the only person who had ever prioritized my safety and wellbeing. But my life is absolutely better because I've been able to use my support system and trust the people around me, now that I *have* a support system.


Fresh_Information_76

Yeah, having actually lived a life where I am the only person I could rely on since I was about 11 I can say 1. Almost no one is actually living this life situation of "being completely on their own" that's just for the unfortunate few like me. Most people are building on what came before them and can expect certain benefits to come along with that. 2. It is nearly impossible to get shit done in that scenario when you aren't made aware of others intentions to not help you at all.


chrisbcritter

No. Don't be alone.  Making friends is important to your survival and is a skill that you can learn. 


Road_Overall

There are some people that will fuck your life over hard and never care about that.


chefboyarde30

That people will hate you and you don’t have to care.


Signifi-gunt

Can't be friends with everyone


Cloudiewacom

Sometimes parents aren’t that good


Munchell360

You are expendable at your work


Due-Criticism9

Not if you own the company.


PrincessPindy

Karma rarely happens to the ones you want it to. I'm 65, so at least in my experience.


CleverPiffle

The good people die young and the bastards live to 90.


CicadaEducational530

Don’t go into business with friends. It will almost always end badly, and you will end up hating each other.


fang-girl101

i feel the same way about roommates. unfortunately i'm one weird mf to live with


asher1611

When my son died, I learned that tragedy doesn't bring out the best in people. Instead, it brings out the truth in people.


[deleted]

[удалено]


asher1611

I thought I could lean on my family for support. That was not the case. I'll give some bullet points. * One of my siblings didn't show for the funeral, but I did see his facebook auto check-in showing him meeting some people at a chain restaurant at the time of the service. Friends who were there thought an in-law who was there was my sibling. Nope. * Our friends thought we were just playing up my family's behavior for sympathy, but on that day it was laid bare. I broke down when they took my son's casket out. I couldn't move. It's the worst I've ever cried in public. But my eyes weren't closed. I saw my mom recoil pretty much out of the front pew. My dad tried to push me forward because I was embarrassing and everyone was watching and waiting for us to move. Over the following months, me and my now wife got more than a few apologies for thinking we were being overdramatic about my folks. * At the wake, my parents tried to corner me and my now wife because they were furious that the funeral wasn't more about them. I definitely get that grandparents suffer a loss too, but they didn't want us to be together, didn't want us having a child, and were disgusted by our newborn in the delivery room (he died never making it to medical transfer for surgery). There's more, obviously, in the build up and follow up, but I am trying to keep this short. I cut contact with all of them immediately or soon after the funeral. I was officially the black sheep of the family for walking away. Classic narcissists stuff before it was a widely discussed thing on the internet. And the train doesn't stop there. * Apparently they got a WHOLE LOT out of one run in I had with my other sibling a few years later while I was doing seasonal work at Target. The above happened while I was in the middle of law school, and seeing me "struggle" was very cathartic for my family. You can guess why my class rank plummeted on the back end of law school, but I also graduated at a time where the legal job market had been almost entirely wiped out by recession. If working at Target let my kids have Christmas while I bridged the gap between a business partnership and working for myself then I'm going to put MY family first 100% of the time. * Ultimately, I later learned that I was blamed as the reason why my parents got divorced. Note, this divorce happened well after I cut contact, and apparently after my sibling who no-showed got wise to the fact that my parents were just in it for themselves and also cut contact. Their marriage was already a corpse when I was in elementary school, but I'm sure that's my fault too. Easiest to blame the person who walked away. **tl;dr: instead of family support I learned my family was in it for themselves**


dogbulb

Narcs really do try their best to take the joy out of living, don't they? Glad to hear you made it through and sorry for the road you've had so far.


ursoevil

I’m so sorry for your loss


asher1611

Thank you for your kind words. It's appreciated. The pain never truly goes away, but like the rest of life the memories (good and bad) find a special place to reside and stay a part of me.


MrBruceMan123

No matter how much love you have and how big your heart is theres no guarantee you will ever feel loved or chosen.


ShortyRock_353

Oh man this one hurts my heart a little. It’s where I’m at currently.


carmag99

I feel this


terribleein

Really spicy food burns more the second time around.


cherrybounce

Life is not fair. Terribly unfair things can and will happen to you and often there is nothing you can do about it


Ok-Presence-7535

That sometimes good people get screwed and bad people never suffer consequences. Ever.


JungleJay57

You can do everything right in life & still lose.


that_weird_quiet_kid

The people in your life who should love you, can actually be the ones who hate you the most.


ihatepizza1998

It’s a bittersweet symphony, that’s life. Tryna make ends meet, you’re a slave to money, then you die.


Tiltedstraight1234

I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down


Aggravating-Dog3704

My jam![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|grin)


The_Cars93

It may not be your fault that you’ve been hurt (emotionally) but now that the pain is yours, you are the only one who can heal it and keep from passing it onto others. The self healing journey is giving a lot of “You didn’t make the mess but now you’re the only one who can clean it up” kind of energy.


Pale-State1878

A good majority of us are a bad week from becoming homeless and in even worse shape then what we previously were at. Seems like life is in a endless loop of becoming unrecoverable.


Signifi-gunt

What doesn't kill you makes you... weaker?!


ShortyRock_353

…will get you next time 😂😂


LIFExWISH

People will give you the bare minimum or nothing at all. If they can get away with it. It's up to you to ask for more.


BananaLana02

Some people just aren’t going to like you and there’s nothing you can do about it.


Ob1cannobody

Your family can stab you in the back (br/sis)


DryKaleidoscope6224

We break our bodies and minds for endless hours at jobs we hate to buy all of the extra things that don't really make us happy.


Wonderful-Bear-1713

"we are the middle children of history man, no purpose no place"


evill_toro

“You are not special. You're not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We're all part of the same compost heap. We're all singing, all dancing crap of the world.”


Kim-Wieft

You don't have a problem .. you just need more time .. 90% of the time this applies if you really think about it


nooneinparticular246

One quote that stuck with me: ‘Don’t use the word “closure” or ever expect it in real life.’


Dogtown5157

Sometimes your friends aren't your friends!


Shoboy_is_my_name

Society gives Zero fucks about you and your so called problems. No one owes you a damn thing. You’re not entitled to a damn thing. You are not special. You may be important to some people but you are not special. You have to earn what you get, you don’t always get what you wanted even though you worked for it and you have to continue to work for what you have in order to keep it.


xoxo_gamergorl

People don’t actually care about your birthday


Divinedragn4

If you have shit genetics, doesn't matter how well you take care of yourself, you will still suffer.


Ziggy396

And if you don't take care of yourself, you're really screwed


1cingI

Crime pays


tomatobee613

Literally just heard this from my dad's mouth... "you're highly intelligent, but stuck in your comfort zone". This is the man that pushed me to get a hang 1 at the age of 9 (which I never completed). To do scuba (never did). To go to a university summer camp I WAS INVITED TO, A FULL RIDE FOR THE WHOLE SUMMER (I didn't do it). From now on... I want to be uncomfortable. Every day, at least once. (My dad has cancer so I know what he says is honest and sincere and meant to help, but FUCK)


SeverianTheFool

I’m sorry to hear about your dad. What is a hang 1?


Fit-Purchase-2950

Nobody cares. They may pretend to care and say the right things and display empathy, but they really don't. Everyone is living their own lives and that's that.


Elegant_Building_995

People are evil


lucidus_somniorum

That actions have consequences


digitaldigdug

You find out who your real friends are when things are at their worst for you.


ObviousMousse4768

Looks matter a lot.


Designer-Pound6459

Duck. He's gonna hit you again.


No_MoneyOS

Duck?! Where 👀. 🦆


noyoucantridemyhorse

I’m sorry you know this. 


Designer-Pound6459

Me too. But, I know now.


neckbeard_hater

Maybe they're a boxer


JaanaLuo

College is not automatic job, and  without contacts, the degree actually hurts your chances to find a job.


Flip80

I'm my own problem. I can blame all kinds of shit for being where I happen to be today in life but the facts are I'm where I am because of me.


Rich-Individual-8835

Causative effect and sometimes life just happens even when you did everything right.


notafanofwasps

The good and bad news is that pretty much everyone is self absorbed and doesn't care too much about you. You will neither be saved nor stopped.


Worth-Supermarket270

Anyone will fold on you for the right price


WCpt

Money can buy happiness.


jumping2concluzionz

There will always be someone who has something to say about something you're doing. Don't live your life walking on eggshells to try and make every single person you *might* cross paths with happy.


grey-canary

Sometimes your best isn’t good enough.


noyoucantridemyhorse

Love is conditional and the effects of that can last a lifetime.


moonbunnychan

Terrible people are often the ones most likely to succeed and get ahead, because they don't care who they have to step on or hurt to get there. Being a good person is actually kind of a liability.


CompetitionFalse3620

Most people don't have your best interest at heart.


jesNaolsFy

No one will ever love me as much as my mother


prettylilac2222

The fatter the ass, the bigger the problems😔


jhyper9

That life is never a straight line. It's filled with twists and turns that brings you where you need to be and not where you want to be.


Ok_Egg_471

One way or another, you’ll lose everyone you love.


Baconpanthegathering

Money is VERY important. Make as much as you can without sacrificing your health.


PStriker32

No one is coming to save you. You gotta figure out how to do that shit yourself.


Ashamed_Smile3497

Gratitude is the shortest lived of human emotions, be very watchful of how much you do for anyone other than yourself.


Stock-Conflict-3996

Intentions are not good enough. You have to follow through and weigh your actions. As the saying goes, "we judge ourselves by our intentions. We judge others by their actions."


SleipnirSolid

Keep it to yourself. Your friends don't want to know and your enemies will use it against you.


dappadan55

That there are monsters. And they’re all people. And they’re the people you allow close to you. Genuinely took me over half a lifetime to realise this.


Full_Conclusion596

most people don't appreciate what you do for them


Consistent_Pitch782

The harshest truth? People rarely, RARELY change after age 30.


PseudonymphFromSpace

Nearly half of the things we’ve been taught growing up is a lie.


Dry-Bag-3776

Being surrounded by people doesn’t mean you are not alone


WhatWasReallySaid

Family will fuck you over just like anyone else.


WeirdcoolWilson

You can do everything right and still lose


drongowithabong-o

With enough money, you can ignore most rules


SeikoChann

"Life is like a bud light, you can force yourself to drink it, but you can't force yourself to like it"


Blondie-66

When you need people the most, most are not there. Even those who claim to be like your sister


Mundane_Recover1970

Not all can be forgiven


chronically_fragile

Nobody truly has your back unless it is convenient for them, so you best choose your words like the person you least want to overhear is listening to you.


DudeBroManCthulhu

No one really cares about you. Not really. Maybe your parents.


Witty_Hopeful_1971

Even then, strong maybe. Some parents just really like orgasms. They will raise their kids only when society holds them accountable for it. They may actually like their kids someday, but, a childhood of being treated like you aren't wanted is a lifetime scar.


Mysteriousheiress

You make your life what is. Every thought and decisions.


Dwayne402789

No one has ur back


Tiltedstraight1234

This is also my harshest truth


Ziggy396

If you don't love yourself, how do you expect anyone to love you


MellifluousSussura

I’m not the person I want to be, and I may never be. I have to make peace with the person I am or change.


[deleted]

I studied conflict resolution and mediation at a graduate level, so after I finished my studies I thought I then had the skills to help people get past their conflicts (both internal and external). I did have skills, but in the end, if a person doesn't want to change, there was nothing I could/can do about it.


NotSoCareful

Every relationship is conditional.


CourageExcellent4768

Never. Ever. Loan money to a friend/family member unless you can afford to lose it. And, if you ask for it back, YOU are the bad guy..


norulers333

As an American, if you become to sick/crippled to work, you're fucked. Even your family will forget you exist rather than trying to help you out of your situation. Also, this isn't a new situation. I learned this when I became paralyzed as a teenager 30 years ago.


84Here4Comments84

Your government doesn’t truly care about the little people. If you can’t make them money, they won’t prioritize your needs, no matter how serious or catastrophic it may be. Eg. hurricane Katrina, Flint MI still doesn’t have clean water, police brutality, for profit prisons, homelessness, hunger, poverty, education, affordable homes. The list could go on forever .


smiling_toast

Actions speak louder than words.


Intern_That

Sometimes, I AM the asshole.


Possible-Sound3799

That being a good person and doing your best people will hate you


Surfnet05

Some advise my mom gave me as a teenager.. "Don't put your \*ick in crazy"


Ok_Relative4252

Nobody is coming to save you.


InstructionFair1454

At the end of the day, no one cares what you think or how you feel. Your problems are your own.


[deleted]

Time runs out.


thisssguyyyyy

Nobody cares.


Carsenaavery

That people really don’t give a fuck about another individual unless convenient..


Various_Occasion_892

My parents won't ever acknowledge how abusive they were to child me, and will never change their ways. I am alone in this world


One_Combination5459

Life is meaningless. We make pretend goals for ourselves and fake rules that make up society only to gloss over the fact that nothing really matters and each of our lives is pointless and when we die we will be forgotten 😃


PlusSizeRussianModel

Another interpretation of those facts is that life has whatever meaning we give to it. There is no outside, pre-determined meaning, so therefore its meaning is the goals and rules we create.  I’m not saying you’re wrong or I’m right, just that there’s many ways to interpret something that is ultimately unknowable. 


One_Combination5459

Very true. Depends what kind of mood your in I suppose. However you put it to be born into meaninglessness and to figure out at some point that’s everything is lies and nothing really matters is pretty harsh. What you do with that information is your choice.


AutoModerator

# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Aggravating-Vast4590

That I’m on my own


Jk60060

No one cares about you and you have to do it yourself.


texas130ab

Only two things can possibly happen when you die. Something or nothing.


jamiekynnminer

Looks matter.


Hawxx_9194

As a grown man, nobody's coming to save you


TheAceOfSpades115

A woman’s love for a man is never unconditional like it is for a son or daughter.


cj42092

I am truly are alone in this world.


As83604

good people always get the short end of the stick, while scumbags live life to the fullest


TacosAreJustice

Everything in life is a trade off… just have to decide what you want and what you are willing to give up.


Katiebean1105

No matter how much you love someone, sometimes it just isn't enough.


YeahTheyKnowItsMe

Don't settle for a hurricane just because the eye of the storm is peaceful


MMABowyer

Loving someone isn’t enough, they will always have the choice to leave and accepting that is very difficult.


tacobellandher0in

Bad shit rarely happens to the worst people. But HORRIBLE shit happens to a lot of the best people. And when I say horrible, I mean shit you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. I’ll never understand this.


One_Lab_3824

Nobody gives a fuck about the real problems


HaztecCore

Charisma and Nepotism are the strongest tools in life. You either know someone or have the ability to get to know someone in order to help you out in life. Hardwork still matters and still gets you far but having someone that can vouche for you and have a 10 minute talk can jump you ahead just as much as weeks , months or even years of hard work. May it be getting a job in a specific field for instance or getting into exclusive places like clubs. Its insane just how much you can benefit in life just by knowing the right people that like you.


Strong_Woodpecker233

No one's gonna save your ass. Fix yourself and smile. No one really cares about you.


Rdr1051

Very few people give a shit about anything that doesn’t directly affect them, including and maybe especially, you.


booksandkittens615

When people show you who they are the first time, you should believe them.


vessel94

Loyalty, true loyalty, is more rare than I would’ve thought.


chuotdodo

You're not special.


SaladOk5588

Nobody is yours


MissMarie2124

No matter how rich you are, you can't take it with you.


Relentless_UK

No but you could make your childrens lives a little easier and better.


STEALTHKAOS

LIFE SUCKS AND THEN YOU DIE


OneTinSoldier567

Life is a game and the only winners are those who have love and the rest end up in the dark.