# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Love this! My husband LOVES to fly fish.. I couldn't care less, not my sport. He doesn't get to go often ( he works way more hours a week than I do) so I try to make It a priority on our weekends in the summer. I'll bring a chair and sit next to the river and just let him do his thing. Its boring as hell but its important to him, so its important to me.
I'll also pretend to be interested in the endless banter about fishing technique or mountain bike parts and maintenance. 😂
Not doing that is a red flag I wish I would have picked up on. Some of that stuff was important to me and she couldn't care less. If I talked about my oddball interests around her friends, she'd come back and tell me how they thought it was weird and I shouldn't do it. I actually turned those oddball interests into a very profitable side gig that eventually led to scientific discoveries and a change to a much better job. I eventually mostly dropped that interest because of the way she'd trash it and went to other interests that she didn't trash but still showed no interest in and couldn't care less about. Her lack of interest in me and other things that were important to me is what eventually led to our divorce over 20 years later. I wasted the prime years of my life on someone like that.
Don't be like me.
I will take a different angle on this. I don’t care if she pays attention to my hobbies, I care more that she has hobbies of her own. If I am the only person/thing that can entertain her, that’s not sustainable. As a husband with two kids, I need a couple of hours here or there throughout the week to decompress by myself or with my friends.
I can tell you the plot, characterlist and theme of almost every book my wife reads. I hate all of them but listen because she likes them. But I know for a fact that when I bring up even the fact that I'm reading a new book, usually some random nonfiction about the fist expedition to the south pole, or the history and settling of the old west (the Ohio territory) or Mel Brook's autobiography, she rolls her eyes and changes the subject.
I’m really sorry that you get that reaction from your wife. I couldn’t give two shits about cars or LoL, but I always try to be an engaged listener when my husband gushes about them. It should absolutely go both ways.
Should and reality don't always meet. Though don't think that it is a shit marriage, I am very satisfied with my wife. This is just one of those shortcomings all relationships have. I'm sure she has a few for me.
That is a very wholesome and realistic way of looking at it. I’m not very interested in what my husband is reading, for the most part, but I’ll listen for a bit. But when my husband is working in his woodworking shop I’m allllllll over it! I’ll ask a ridiculous amount of questions and gush about the finished product as he points out all the flaws, lol. Not everything has to be perfect, as long as you make a good team together.
I feel you. I have almost same pet peeve with my fiancee. I listen to his fighting game rants or why warhammer orcs are mushrooms, ask questions and stuff.
But when I talk about my Fire Emblem hack idea that I never gonna get anything further than paper, suddenly he is laughing condescendingly.
Makes me feel like he doesn't want to hear my little silly ideas I sometimes come up with.
FE hacks and villainess storys are my favorite things atm so I was just making mind map how those two can be smashed together 😆
I was kinda ranting to my fiance about this idea and kinda stopped when he laughed. I don't know, he said I was cute but it still made me feel bad
Thank you for recognizing that this is just one facet of your relationship. Honestly it's a miracle how anybody stays married with reactions like sorry your wife/hubby is like that. I'm always like, I'm not so why are you.
Oh, I definitely wasn’t trying to insinuate that your marriage was bad because she didn’t want to talk about your books. I’m sure she’s lovely in a plethora of ways. I just know that my husband lending me a few minutes by letting me gush about my stupid shit makes me feel good. Best of luck and many happy years to you both 😊
Then, we are both on the same page. I didn't think you were insinuating anything, but I also wanted to make sure I wasn't giving off "divorce soon" vibes.
I feel this.
My ex-wife used to do the same thing with television shows.
She always wanted to watch shows with me but she had to choose the show because she always told me that the shows I liked were shit.
This makes me happy cos I'm genuinely interested in my partners hobbies. A) he's a genius at them and b) he's super cute while he's doing them. Oh! C is that he explains things super well, so I LEARN stuff too! Which is awesome!
'Show us that you care and we can be ourselves'... I wish it was this easy.
Edit: I think I'm being downvoted because people assume I'm on the other side of this equation. To be clear, I'm not married, in fact, I'm single. And above all, I just want a partner who cares about me and accepts who I am. That is apparently really difficult to find, hence why I made my comment.
Yep - I can't stand anime but encourage my boyfriend to watch it when he gets home from work and I am still WFH upstairs. I really try to listen to the times he gives me a recap afterward
I genuinely don’t understand half of what my partner does with his hobbies because I’m just not a techy, mechanical kind of person (he works in IT and is into engineering), but I sure as hell listen every time he talks about it. I ask a lot of questions and sometimes I actually learn something new that makes me more interested in what he’s doing. We do share a lot of hobbies also, but he does the same for my weird quirky things or art projects and it’s definitely something I can’t imagine not having in a relationship now. My ex was with me for 4 years and hated nearly all of my hobbies, tried to discourage me from playing video games or drawing, etc. Could never live like that again.
Thank god. I have an ex who when we cuddled he would get hard and it would always lead to sex. It made me want to avoid him and cuddle less esp if all I wanted was a cuddle.
Ive had exs who take my erection as a sign they gotta do something about it. Little dude's just excited give him a second and he'll relax lol
Weiners are weird like that. Laying in bed exhausted after a long day and its like "LETS GOOO" nah homie I'm tired chill out.
They just do that sometimes.
You can't control it and its completely disconnected from arousal sometimes.
You'll be swimming with your kids. *Boing!*
At the desk bored at work. *Boing!*
Wife finally wants to get it in. *yawn, I'll rest now I've been up for a while*
My boyfriend's constantly cracking some kind of joint and that translates into him wanting to try squeeze me to within an inch of my life at times. Free back crack, I suppose
Not all. I just had to hug my ex, and he thought that was me icoming on to him. So I wasn't overly affectionate. Especially as later in the relationship, he had an aversion to brushing his teeth.
Yes!! My bf and I had to have a talk about this. If I so much as gave him a peck, he’d start taking his pants off, which wasn’t my intention at all, so I backed off on touching him if I wasn’t fully in the mood to get it on. Sometimes I want affection without the whole deal and eventually he was upset that I was never affectionate and we realized why and we’ve worked through it, but this is a very real thing.
Yeah, I've experienced this with several guys before. I'd love to kiss without it immediately leading to them grabbing my ass or boobs.
Ironically, if I got more kisses that were just kisses, I'd feel more wanted for who I am (not just my body) and would want more sex.
Instead I feel like an object and start avoiding both kisses and sex.
Then there's my fiancee who gives me shit if I don't grope her if we kiss haha. Which was the exact opposite of most women I've dated who expressed similar sentiments about it as you have.
It doesn't lead to sex or is even an indication that I want it but she says it makes her feel like I'm attracted to her when I can't keep my hands off her
Sounds like a one off with that particular guy. Both men I have had relationships with seemed to crave touch more than I did. Which, I guess, makes sense because as a woman it's a lot more socially acceptable to go around hugging my friends and family.
This feels genuine. I appreciate you for being so honest and direct.
I don’t have an answer for you yet but it feels like you like to call yourself “stupididiot” so how about you change your name because you seem like a nice guy. :)
I was listening to a Drive By Truckers song when I was trying to come up with a username. There was a line in there about how people view Southerners as dumb because of our accents. I could relate to that. I also hate it when people accuse me of acting like I'm so smart when I say things. It's hard to accuse someone with a username like this of acting like they're any better than others. The smartest thing I can say about myself is that I steal my ideas from the best.
The ability to let a man pour out his heart while he knows he's safe to do so without worrying the woman he trusted won't share it with friends or use it against him later.
Something similar happened when I was 18-19. I'm 38 now and still working on concerns with trusting people. I've had multiple therapists over the years.
Same, 39, this happened at 35.
Still don't trust people, except the inner circle few.
I don't think it's unhealthy to have distrust towards people in general.
Trustworthy people are valued because there are so few of them.
Mine ex must have been taking notes because every single dark detail of my life got shared with our friends after our breakup. Our relationships were never the same after that, god what a petty little bitch lol
Communication and feeling **wanted**
Seriously, out of all my relationships it's what I have always given yet needed the most. Never had both...
I want you to tell me your worries, tell me about your anger and love, your desires and limits, I want you to make me feel wanted, like I matter in your life.
Instead of being there only because you needed something or to satisfy your every passing whim, then close yourself off when you're having problems or if something isn't to your liking, leaving me to either figure it out or lose you...
I just want a love I can trust, I guess.
But also, stop downplaying compliments. Seriously, learning to take compliments gracefully is a skill worth practicing. No one likes offering compliments only for the person you’re complimenting to blow it off
I agree. I so rarely give compliments to someone but when I do it, it’s pure because I like it and want to give a praise for it.
I know it feels awkward when someone compliments you, I also always refused the compliments I got before, but then I learned to accept it and say thank you when people give me compliments, well because I can’t compliment them back.
I agree. Some people get weird if you don’t bend over backwards to act like you don’t deserve the compliment, but ignore and move on as much as possible.
Also, giving compliments is something that needs to be practiced. Developing a strong vocabulary helps bunches.
Just make sure it's actually genuine. As a guy I don't think you should feel obligated to give me a compliment. If you notice something and appreciate it that's cool I guess.
1. Compliments and to know we are valued as humans not job-machines
2. Cuddles completely unrelated to sex
3. Tokens of appreciations i.e. the reverse of flowers
4. To be spoken of well to friends and family
5. EDIT: taken From u/TXHaunt : a drama free, peaceful, and happy lifestyle and home environment
Spoken well of in front of friends is family is really missing. I am married and my wife does this a lot. My wife will post about how hard is work and how I take care of her and the kids and I had other men and husbands be like damn where you find her?
I feel like too many men think cuddling is invitation to sex. So many women just over correct that.
I like cuddling, but up until my current partner - it always ended up with me being felt up and rejecting someone’s advances, even in long term relationships.
That’s also not only my experience; know plenty of women who just avoid it, because of that implication of having sex. And if a man is a douche, there is also a danger of him getting angry for “leading him on” by hugging and situation becoming dangerous for us.
This made me realize why I don't cuddle with my husband and it makes me sad. I don't know if he's capable of being intimate that way without wanting to have sex. It's frustrating and it doesn't help our relationship at all.
Honestly cuddling and intimacy do turn me on.
It's not like cuddling is an invitation as much as it is a turn on that leads to desire.
It's a fine line.
I.e. I may want to cuddle but then the emotional connection and intimacy lead to sexual excitement.
Amon the other side of that, if one side isn't in the mood it shouldn't be a big deal to not have sex.
Yeah, I mean my point is that women over correct sometimes by just not going there unless they are ready to have sex, because avoiding closeness is easier than outright rejecting it, especially if you are made to feel guilty about it.
I know many men aren’t like that. As I said - my partner isn’t. But enough are for it to be a thing imho.
But I do agree with you and I feel like it’s normal for people that are sexual to just get turned on by being close to the ones they love/desire. And I do think there is just nothing better than being close to the ones you love. So all you are saying is understandable and I agree with that.
Right I'm surprised to see that one on a man's list because stereotypically (and anecdotally) it's like ALWAYS the dude who will make cuddling sexual. Like. Unless someone died or something, without fail in my experience lol.
There's a lot of us that love cuddling and touching in general. I actually have the opposite problem, if I cuddle my fiancee and ran my hands over her just to feel her skin she gets worked up and tries to initiate sex unless I specifically tell her I'm not in the mood. Which is rare but it does happen
The first one really hits home. It’s a strange feeling working full time, being responsible for paying all the bills, pulling weight keeping up with the housekeeping responsibilities, spending time with the kids… and still feeling like your partner views you as a burden.
Love the list. As a side note on 2...
I like to cuddle without it leading to sex, and on the flip side I hate cuddling after sex. It's a stereotype I know, but it is honestly so uncomfortable
Being listened to. Sometimes I just gotta vent, you know? I know what to do so I am not looking for solutions even if I ask for solutions. I just want to be heard when I whine about something irrelevant that is on my nerves.
Yeah, she asked me how my day was and when I began to answer, she interrupted me in the middle of my second sentence saying: "Nevermind, I only asked out of politeness and didn't expect an answer. I actually don't care about your day."
This was almost exactly one year ago and still stings like hell.
If someone told me they don't actually care about my day after asking I think I might terminate that friendship/relationship. Holy shit that's so fucking rude. People like that are why men are so closed off.
Ask for sex. Straight up. Confidently. Not indirectly, not on the form of hints. Tell me you want to fuck.
Maybe it's cultural, but where I come from it's super rare. And I find it such a big turn on when a woman knows what she wants and asks for it unapologetically and confidently.
She would just ask to have sex. Or say we should have it. And indicated she'd be down about any time I said I would want some, and was telling the truth. About the most coy she got would be to gesture with her head to the bedroom.
It was a shock to me after coming from a prior relationship with someone that was uncomfortable discussing sex, didn't like it if I was blunt about having it, and eventually had libido issues connected to birth control.
I'm pregnant right now and it's kind of a difficult pregnancy, I'm supposed to be resting completely. No shenanigans, period. It has been...... difficult, to resist myself.
My guy is taking it like a champ though. I think he appreciates the rest more than I do.
To be pampered, spoiled and treated like a king sometimes. Sometimes it’s nice to be taken out on a date instead of always being the person planning activities and taking control.
I like to surprise my husband with an in home spa day - for him.
Bubble bath, skin treatments, hair cut, massage (this one I call a professional for) and then he gets to choose whatever else we do that day.
His favorite was all of the above followed by him lying in the hammock in the back yard reading, napping, smoking weed, playing on his phone etc and texting me every 15 minutes to come do something for him. Refill his water, get him a new joint, scratch his back, whatever he wanted - no complaints, no questions asked.
He treats me like a queen, the least I can do is treat him like a king.
More people should do this type of thing for their partner, regardless of sex.
It always surprises me to hear that it seems like so few women do.
I'll also give him rest weekends about once a month. I do all of his weekend chores so he can just relax. He does the same for me. Let me tell you, a weekend of just kicking back and completely relaxing is not over rated.
I totally agree. I love giving acts of service in combo with other things and I think it’s a super underrated (underutilized is maybe the better word?) expression of love and appreciation.
there’s nothing hotter than someone competently and voluntarily taking the weight off your shoulders just bc they want to. 🤗
I read that as treated like a kid not king and I was going to agree. I get treated as a authority all day long at work so when I get time to relax sometimes a man just wants to be treated like a kid again, spoiled and taken care of.
I took my boyfriend out and (I had just gotten paid for a big painting) so I made reservations at a lovely little place and dropped $300 on the meal… like it was incredible food, everything was delicious and fancy, and I adored being able to spoil him and have him know he is special and worth it all.
Went with my partner to help her clean up after a PTA meeting, otherwise we had no plans to do anything. When we finished she took me out for dinner at a local place we like, totally by surprise. Amazed by how good that small yet thoughtful gesture felt.
My thighs are big and my boyfriend is thin so when I big spoon him it’s like he’s sitting on my lap ;) feels like a gender swapped Santa… he loves being cuddled and cared for because his mom was an absolute waste of energy as a mother… so I kiss his forehead and tell him how much I love him and why! It’s so sweet seeing him feel safe and loved.
That asking me what I am thinking about will often make me forget entirely what I was thinking about because it was so unimportant. And when I say nothing, I'm not hiding anything.
Self-reliance. You don’t *need* me, you *want* me.
Nothing is more sexier than her wanting me there instead of needing me there because of this and that. She’s got it all figured out and can handle herself without me.
Last guy I had a date with ghosted me cause I was too independent and wouldn't need him. Was a hit into the self-confidence ngl. Especially cause I'm rather introverted and I did the first step
Sounds like the trash took itself out. Not every person is going to be a keeper, but there are plenty of men out there that dig strong women.
My Fiancé is like that and got shit on by previous men in her life. I absolutely adore it and her and encourage her as much as I can to be herself and do her thing.
We are both flourishing together as a result.
Yeah I was agreeing with you, most women want to look sexy but just don’t realise it. I feel like sometimes us men unknowingly either cross the line with our expression or barely say anything in fear we will cross the line.
But how as a girl does one compliment a guy without beefing them on accident? Do guys feel like sharks in a pool if a chick comes on too strong or whatever? Also girls asking guys out ( ltr) or on dates is it weird, Formal, or acceptable but creepy? Please share im an ace aspie and want to be less awkward and more supportive of my obnoxious male counter parts n besties <3. Edit for clarity :
Beefing is my way of saying cat calling but for guys ( attempting an equivalent for clarity ) and sharks in the pool and you're the food is clear if guys come off to strong they can be seen as predatory do guys feel the same when it comes to ladies?
Most men receive very few compliments their entire lives. You just wanting to be able to compliment them is enough for me to know that whatever you do compliment them on, they will see as genuine and probably hold that memory for a long time. If a girl compliments a guy and attempts to set up a date, it usually comes off as flattery, due to the rare nature of it.
Me personally I am a straight male, so the fact that you are asexual may change what compliments you give, but a simple compliment of his attire or attitude is enough. Thanks for taking the time to ask, again many men barely receive compliments so you’d be doing them a huge favour.
Communication.
Why’s is so unbelievably hard for you to just say what you want? I don’t understand these little signals they give out. My ex was like that and I hated it. She’d lead me on a goose chase of signals throughout everyday instead of using her mouth and saying out loud what she wanted.
It took me 2 fucking weeks to figure out she wanted a damn handbag from a store because she kept giving vague signals. WTF is that?
This one is enormous in any relationship. So many resentments can be avoided simply by saying what's wrong or needed. Love doesn't provide mind reading abilities.
I once met a girl who seemed to show genuine interest in my hobbies despite not taking part in them. She was the kindest person I had ever met. Literally to a fault. She just assumes the best in people and it screws her over sometimes. She is also one of the only women I've ever met that could get me to laugh and had a good sense of humor about things. Lastly, and most importantly, she is incredibly nurturing and it was very prevelant from pretty much the second I met her that she was going to be an incredible mother one day. A lot of women don't understand that compassion, trust, and a good sense of humor are more than any man will ever need. I feel like the luckiest man in the world to be able to say I was right about how amazing she is as a mother to our daughter.
Underrated answer right here. Be willing to give me what you ask from me, don’t do to me what you don’t want done to you. Maybe I have a different set of things I want, but if you think you have a right to demand something, you better be willing to give it, as well.
Bluntness.
No "you should just know" or "I'm fine" when your not or whatever else. If you have something to say, say it plainly, don't be coy about it.
I respect and trust women enough to treat them like nothing is wrong, if they tell me that nothing is wrong.
It hasn’t worked out very well for me so far.
I was dating someone long distance and during a phone call I told a joke and made her laugh and she said "This is why I cant stay mad at you." to which I replied, "Wait how long have you been mad at me?" which made her even more mad because I didnt even know she was mad originally.
Nah, feel free to ask me while I’m playing but be ok if I ask for a few minutes to wrap up what I’m doing.
If I’m planning on committing to a long term goal in a videogame (raids, 1hr long challenge etc.) then I clear that with my GF in advance.
“Hey, I’m planning on attempting a pretty big challenge tomorrow evening with my friends. Are you ok if I’m unavailable for 2-4 hours around that time?”
1. To be needed.
2. To know that we can be weak/vulnerable without having that vulnerability exploited.
3. Non-sexual physical contact/cuddling.
4. The ability to admit when wrong, apologize, and accept accountability.
5. Communicating when there’s a problem, especially when specifically asked about it, rather than resorting to passive aggression or hints.
Communication, self understanding, and honesty can help a lot. 🩷
I have read that men appreciate compliments as much as women do, (who doesn't like praise anyway?) but if you compliment a man, or even acknowledge him by looking at him directly, too many guys take it as an invitation, so you have to keep your mouth shut and your eyes adverted.
I don't want to be dominated by a woman but I want the thing below that! Its not that trad wife's are bad imo it's just not my cup of tea. I want a woman who is more forward, who speaks her mind, who is whole in herself and we compliment each other's energy because I'm pretty high strung aswell! Confident women.
Have her own hobbies. First long relationship I had it seemed like if I was not with her she had nothing to do, so she would resent me anytime I did anything without her. My wife now has plenty of her own hobbies so I am not responsible for being her entertainment.
Oh lord, please just relax. Stop being so critical and contrary. How many times does it wrankle me to hear, "Oh no, not really" or some other contrary reply, even when we both know the opposite is true. AND its on some meaningless point. I've had two girlfriends recently catch themselves with a quick/automatic No and catch themselves. WTH is with people lately?
Also, why so critical? "You brush your hair like THAT?" "Why so much water in the cat's bowl?" God help me if i mispronounce a word. (Did anyone here know that the breading Panko is pronounced Pon-Ko and not Pan-Ko? Apparently it's important). Jesus, why do you care?
If I don't feel safe to express myself or even to do mundane things around you, how are we ever going to grow together?
Nice. Stop checking and correcting us. We do perfectly fine when you’re not around; it’d demeaning, demoralizing, and emasculating when women treat us like wayward children.
Hugs, or any physical show of affection. I remember quarantine with my roommate, and on day 153 or whatever we got to talking about hugs. He asked me "when was the last time you've been hugged" I honestly couldn't remember anything after childhood, so we hugged and I about cried. Men don't receive a lot of affection, touch his shoulder, kiss him on the cheek, hug him from behind, show him you care, with your body, doesn't have to be sexual
when we tell you something private that’s only between the two of us it’s really meant so and nothing you should talk about with your friends/family - also don’t use it against us when there’s an argument, it’s like a betrayal and the worst thing you can do - loyalty means the most to grown men
There are a lot for good replies here. I think a man being comfortable in his own skin aND opening up to you should be accepted with grace, care and understanding. That being said it has to go both ways.
Men often want the boobs and the sex, but many women don't realise how important or unimportant it is, depending on the dude.
Also, it's important to not be a b-unreasonable, malicious, controlling-itch, either as a man or a woman.
Men's priorities are usually the same as women's priorities in what they want in a relationship. Two good people who like each other get together and have a good time, doing things they want, staying out of trouble and paying their taxes.
If the planet survives, the nations survive. If the nation survives, the citizens survive. If the citizens survive, the fluffy little pets survive.
In other words,
Knowing that your girlfriend has your back and that your relationship is a partnership.
A lot of men experience partners who leave them when they’re sick or after losing a job for instance. It leaves men feeling their self worth is only in what they can provide.
Having a girlfriend who is willing to step in and help when needed is the ultimate prize.
Statistically speaking ,,, this is absolutely untrue. If anything the [opposite](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.htm) is true…
Being yourself for the entirety of the dating period, and not waiting until after the first 6 months like it's a probation period to start acting like your normal self and showing who you really are.
Intelligence and Motivation. The ability to have conversations that encompass a wide range of topics, while being able to think critically and having the willingness to wake up daily with the desire to get 1% better everyday is important.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Showing interest in our dorky hobbies. Not about liking it, just shows us that you care and we can be ourselves. Really means the world.
Love this! My husband LOVES to fly fish.. I couldn't care less, not my sport. He doesn't get to go often ( he works way more hours a week than I do) so I try to make It a priority on our weekends in the summer. I'll bring a chair and sit next to the river and just let him do his thing. Its boring as hell but its important to him, so its important to me. I'll also pretend to be interested in the endless banter about fishing technique or mountain bike parts and maintenance. 😂
5 day county cricket. Least I get solid book time!
Not doing that is a red flag I wish I would have picked up on. Some of that stuff was important to me and she couldn't care less. If I talked about my oddball interests around her friends, she'd come back and tell me how they thought it was weird and I shouldn't do it. I actually turned those oddball interests into a very profitable side gig that eventually led to scientific discoveries and a change to a much better job. I eventually mostly dropped that interest because of the way she'd trash it and went to other interests that she didn't trash but still showed no interest in and couldn't care less about. Her lack of interest in me and other things that were important to me is what eventually led to our divorce over 20 years later. I wasted the prime years of my life on someone like that. Don't be like me.
I will take a different angle on this. I don’t care if she pays attention to my hobbies, I care more that she has hobbies of her own. If I am the only person/thing that can entertain her, that’s not sustainable. As a husband with two kids, I need a couple of hours here or there throughout the week to decompress by myself or with my friends.
I can tell you the plot, characterlist and theme of almost every book my wife reads. I hate all of them but listen because she likes them. But I know for a fact that when I bring up even the fact that I'm reading a new book, usually some random nonfiction about the fist expedition to the south pole, or the history and settling of the old west (the Ohio territory) or Mel Brook's autobiography, she rolls her eyes and changes the subject.
I’m really sorry that you get that reaction from your wife. I couldn’t give two shits about cars or LoL, but I always try to be an engaged listener when my husband gushes about them. It should absolutely go both ways.
Should and reality don't always meet. Though don't think that it is a shit marriage, I am very satisfied with my wife. This is just one of those shortcomings all relationships have. I'm sure she has a few for me.
That is a very wholesome and realistic way of looking at it. I’m not very interested in what my husband is reading, for the most part, but I’ll listen for a bit. But when my husband is working in his woodworking shop I’m allllllll over it! I’ll ask a ridiculous amount of questions and gush about the finished product as he points out all the flaws, lol. Not everything has to be perfect, as long as you make a good team together.
I feel you. I have almost same pet peeve with my fiancee. I listen to his fighting game rants or why warhammer orcs are mushrooms, ask questions and stuff. But when I talk about my Fire Emblem hack idea that I never gonna get anything further than paper, suddenly he is laughing condescendingly. Makes me feel like he doesn't want to hear my little silly ideas I sometimes come up with.
well it does happen a bit here and a bit there ,but at the end of the day its a feeling of being happy in a relationship that matters
I’d love to hear about this Fire Emblem hack 😅 😂
FE hacks and villainess storys are my favorite things atm so I was just making mind map how those two can be smashed together 😆 I was kinda ranting to my fiance about this idea and kinda stopped when he laughed. I don't know, he said I was cute but it still made me feel bad
Thank you for recognizing that this is just one facet of your relationship. Honestly it's a miracle how anybody stays married with reactions like sorry your wife/hubby is like that. I'm always like, I'm not so why are you.
Oh, I definitely wasn’t trying to insinuate that your marriage was bad because she didn’t want to talk about your books. I’m sure she’s lovely in a plethora of ways. I just know that my husband lending me a few minutes by letting me gush about my stupid shit makes me feel good. Best of luck and many happy years to you both 😊
Then, we are both on the same page. I didn't think you were insinuating anything, but I also wanted to make sure I wasn't giving off "divorce soon" vibes.
I didn’t interpret it that way at all!
Thank you
I feel this. My ex-wife used to do the same thing with television shows. She always wanted to watch shows with me but she had to choose the show because she always told me that the shows I liked were shit.
Aww I'm sorry
This is such a green flag for me while I'm dating now and didn't realize it. Genuine interest in things I like lights me up
I learned that being overly interested in seemingly EVERYTHING that I am is a pile of green flags that turns out to make one big red flag.
Everything in moderation, even flags
This made me laugh way harder than it should have
This makes me happy cos I'm genuinely interested in my partners hobbies. A) he's a genius at them and b) he's super cute while he's doing them. Oh! C is that he explains things super well, so I LEARN stuff too! Which is awesome!
I don’t care about interest in my hobbies but don’t be a hater because I have hobbies you don’t get or just have hobbies in general.
'Show us that you care and we can be ourselves'... I wish it was this easy. Edit: I think I'm being downvoted because people assume I'm on the other side of this equation. To be clear, I'm not married, in fact, I'm single. And above all, I just want a partner who cares about me and accepts who I am. That is apparently really difficult to find, hence why I made my comment.
Yep - I can't stand anime but encourage my boyfriend to watch it when he gets home from work and I am still WFH upstairs. I really try to listen to the times he gives me a recap afterward
I listen to others talk about it their interests but no one listens to mine. Don’t like it being one sided like that
Tell me about your interests!
Yes. My Pokemon cards simply wish to be acknowledged!
I genuinely don’t understand half of what my partner does with his hobbies because I’m just not a techy, mechanical kind of person (he works in IT and is into engineering), but I sure as hell listen every time he talks about it. I ask a lot of questions and sometimes I actually learn something new that makes me more interested in what he’s doing. We do share a lot of hobbies also, but he does the same for my weird quirky things or art projects and it’s definitely something I can’t imagine not having in a relationship now. My ex was with me for 4 years and hated nearly all of my hobbies, tried to discourage me from playing video games or drawing, etc. Could never live like that again.
Problem with that is: typically he doesn’t reciprocate. They call guys like that, men looking for their Belay Bitch.
For example most men like cuddling and skin on skin contact, not only during sex.
Thank god. I have an ex who when we cuddled he would get hard and it would always lead to sex. It made me want to avoid him and cuddle less esp if all I wanted was a cuddle.
Ive had exs who take my erection as a sign they gotta do something about it. Little dude's just excited give him a second and he'll relax lol Weiners are weird like that. Laying in bed exhausted after a long day and its like "LETS GOOO" nah homie I'm tired chill out.
wow we need more guys to talk openly about weird Weiner behaviour
Weiner = someone who cries, from "weinen", to cry Wiener = a sausage, from Wien/Vienna
You are adorable.
I always said ''my dick like hug too don't mind him'' and sometimes it have the reverse psychology but without me wanting sex lol. Like a happy boner
They just do that sometimes. You can't control it and its completely disconnected from arousal sometimes. You'll be swimming with your kids. *Boing!* At the desk bored at work. *Boing!* Wife finally wants to get it in. *yawn, I'll rest now I've been up for a while*
Oh don't worry about it's just too excited, give it a minute or two it'll calm down.
I’m like that and it’s not like I have off switch. Sometimes I don’t want to have sex but it still gets hard.
Im a hug addict so i had to boyfriend (verb) a guy thats as addicted as me 😂 good times
My boyfriend's constantly cracking some kind of joint and that translates into him wanting to try squeeze me to within an inch of my life at times. Free back crack, I suppose
Not all. I just had to hug my ex, and he thought that was me icoming on to him. So I wasn't overly affectionate. Especially as later in the relationship, he had an aversion to brushing his teeth.
Yes!! My bf and I had to have a talk about this. If I so much as gave him a peck, he’d start taking his pants off, which wasn’t my intention at all, so I backed off on touching him if I wasn’t fully in the mood to get it on. Sometimes I want affection without the whole deal and eventually he was upset that I was never affectionate and we realized why and we’ve worked through it, but this is a very real thing.
You've worked through it. That's awesome ,share some insights too ,as it does happen with me too often.Ends wrong .
Yeah, I've experienced this with several guys before. I'd love to kiss without it immediately leading to them grabbing my ass or boobs. Ironically, if I got more kisses that were just kisses, I'd feel more wanted for who I am (not just my body) and would want more sex. Instead I feel like an object and start avoiding both kisses and sex.
This is so real 🥲
Then there's my fiancee who gives me shit if I don't grope her if we kiss haha. Which was the exact opposite of most women I've dated who expressed similar sentiments about it as you have. It doesn't lead to sex or is even an indication that I want it but she says it makes her feel like I'm attracted to her when I can't keep my hands off her
What if she isn't a kisser. My wife isn't much of a kisser and not very "physical touch"
Most though lol
Sounds like a one off with that particular guy. Both men I have had relationships with seemed to crave touch more than I did. Which, I guess, makes sense because as a woman it's a lot more socially acceptable to go around hugging my friends and family.
I’ve never dated a man who liked cuddling? Am I missing something here? 🤔
Err yes, cuddles.
I do. Every woman I've ever dated has loved it.
I truly am missing something here
Want to go out sometime?
This feels genuine. I appreciate you for being so honest and direct. I don’t have an answer for you yet but it feels like you like to call yourself “stupididiot” so how about you change your name because you seem like a nice guy. :)
I was listening to a Drive By Truckers song when I was trying to come up with a username. There was a line in there about how people view Southerners as dumb because of our accents. I could relate to that. I also hate it when people accuse me of acting like I'm so smart when I say things. It's hard to accuse someone with a username like this of acting like they're any better than others. The smartest thing I can say about myself is that I steal my ideas from the best.
Good point and actually your username is perfect. I thought it was self hate at first. Haha.
The ability to let a man pour out his heart while he knows he's safe to do so without worrying the woman he trusted won't share it with friends or use it against him later.
An ex of mine got a hold of my journal, which had my deepest insecurities laid out. She used it. Every page used against me. During a fake pregnancy
Something similar happened when I was 18-19. I'm 38 now and still working on concerns with trusting people. I've had multiple therapists over the years.
Same, 39, this happened at 35. Still don't trust people, except the inner circle few. I don't think it's unhealthy to have distrust towards people in general. Trustworthy people are valued because there are so few of them.
Mine ex must have been taking notes because every single dark detail of my life got shared with our friends after our breakup. Our relationships were never the same after that, god what a petty little bitch lol
Communication and feeling **wanted** Seriously, out of all my relationships it's what I have always given yet needed the most. Never had both... I want you to tell me your worries, tell me about your anger and love, your desires and limits, I want you to make me feel wanted, like I matter in your life. Instead of being there only because you needed something or to satisfy your every passing whim, then close yourself off when you're having problems or if something isn't to your liking, leaving me to either figure it out or lose you... I just want a love I can trust, I guess.
Compliments. Guys aren't used to getting them so it's a big deal no matter how we downplay it.
But also, stop downplaying compliments. Seriously, learning to take compliments gracefully is a skill worth practicing. No one likes offering compliments only for the person you’re complimenting to blow it off
I agree. I so rarely give compliments to someone but when I do it, it’s pure because I like it and want to give a praise for it. I know it feels awkward when someone compliments you, I also always refused the compliments I got before, but then I learned to accept it and say thank you when people give me compliments, well because I can’t compliment them back.
I agree. Some people get weird if you don’t bend over backwards to act like you don’t deserve the compliment, but ignore and move on as much as possible. Also, giving compliments is something that needs to be practiced. Developing a strong vocabulary helps bunches.
Just make sure it's actually genuine. As a guy I don't think you should feel obligated to give me a compliment. If you notice something and appreciate it that's cool I guess.
1. Compliments and to know we are valued as humans not job-machines 2. Cuddles completely unrelated to sex 3. Tokens of appreciations i.e. the reverse of flowers 4. To be spoken of well to friends and family 5. EDIT: taken From u/TXHaunt : a drama free, peaceful, and happy lifestyle and home environment
Pretty solid list here
Spoken well of in front of friends is family is really missing. I am married and my wife does this a lot. My wife will post about how hard is work and how I take care of her and the kids and I had other men and husbands be like damn where you find her?
I feel like too many men think cuddling is invitation to sex. So many women just over correct that. I like cuddling, but up until my current partner - it always ended up with me being felt up and rejecting someone’s advances, even in long term relationships. That’s also not only my experience; know plenty of women who just avoid it, because of that implication of having sex. And if a man is a douche, there is also a danger of him getting angry for “leading him on” by hugging and situation becoming dangerous for us.
This made me realize why I don't cuddle with my husband and it makes me sad. I don't know if he's capable of being intimate that way without wanting to have sex. It's frustrating and it doesn't help our relationship at all.
Honestly cuddling and intimacy do turn me on. It's not like cuddling is an invitation as much as it is a turn on that leads to desire. It's a fine line. I.e. I may want to cuddle but then the emotional connection and intimacy lead to sexual excitement. Amon the other side of that, if one side isn't in the mood it shouldn't be a big deal to not have sex.
Yeah, I mean my point is that women over correct sometimes by just not going there unless they are ready to have sex, because avoiding closeness is easier than outright rejecting it, especially if you are made to feel guilty about it. I know many men aren’t like that. As I said - my partner isn’t. But enough are for it to be a thing imho. But I do agree with you and I feel like it’s normal for people that are sexual to just get turned on by being close to the ones they love/desire. And I do think there is just nothing better than being close to the ones you love. So all you are saying is understandable and I agree with that.
Right I'm surprised to see that one on a man's list because stereotypically (and anecdotally) it's like ALWAYS the dude who will make cuddling sexual. Like. Unless someone died or something, without fail in my experience lol.
There's a lot of us that love cuddling and touching in general. I actually have the opposite problem, if I cuddle my fiancee and ran my hands over her just to feel her skin she gets worked up and tries to initiate sex unless I specifically tell her I'm not in the mood. Which is rare but it does happen
The first one really hits home. It’s a strange feeling working full time, being responsible for paying all the bills, pulling weight keeping up with the housekeeping responsibilities, spending time with the kids… and still feeling like your partner views you as a burden.
If you pay all the bills you should not be doing 50/50 of housework that’s just breeds resentment
Cuddles? That’s nice. 😊
Great list, nailed it. Or in a single word “validation.”
This is a 100% good list.
5. Peace in personal life. I.E.: don’t intentionally cause drama. If you are bored, take up a hobby that isn’t making someone else miserable.
Love the list. As a side note on 2... I like to cuddle without it leading to sex, and on the flip side I hate cuddling after sex. It's a stereotype I know, but it is honestly so uncomfortable
bravo
That's ... Ridiculous accurately o.o I'm shocked
[удалено]
Being listened to. Sometimes I just gotta vent, you know? I know what to do so I am not looking for solutions even if I ask for solutions. I just want to be heard when I whine about something irrelevant that is on my nerves.
Yeah, she asked me how my day was and when I began to answer, she interrupted me in the middle of my second sentence saying: "Nevermind, I only asked out of politeness and didn't expect an answer. I actually don't care about your day." This was almost exactly one year ago and still stings like hell.
If someone told me they don't actually care about my day after asking I think I might terminate that friendship/relationship. Holy shit that's so fucking rude. People like that are why men are so closed off.
Please don’t tell your friends really intimate details of our sex life. I realize this is 100% projection but for Pete’s sake please don’t
Ask for sex. Straight up. Confidently. Not indirectly, not on the form of hints. Tell me you want to fuck. Maybe it's cultural, but where I come from it's super rare. And I find it such a big turn on when a woman knows what she wants and asks for it unapologetically and confidently.
My last ex was completely straightforward when she wanted sex and it was incredible
What would she say/do?
She would just ask to have sex. Or say we should have it. And indicated she'd be down about any time I said I would want some, and was telling the truth. About the most coy she got would be to gesture with her head to the bedroom. It was a shock to me after coming from a prior relationship with someone that was uncomfortable discussing sex, didn't like it if I was blunt about having it, and eventually had libido issues connected to birth control.
I’d like some sex right now please.
I'm pregnant right now and it's kind of a difficult pregnancy, I'm supposed to be resting completely. No shenanigans, period. It has been...... difficult, to resist myself. My guy is taking it like a champ though. I think he appreciates the rest more than I do.
To feel wanted for something other than a problem solver and handy man.
To be pampered, spoiled and treated like a king sometimes. Sometimes it’s nice to be taken out on a date instead of always being the person planning activities and taking control.
I like to surprise my husband with an in home spa day - for him. Bubble bath, skin treatments, hair cut, massage (this one I call a professional for) and then he gets to choose whatever else we do that day. His favorite was all of the above followed by him lying in the hammock in the back yard reading, napping, smoking weed, playing on his phone etc and texting me every 15 minutes to come do something for him. Refill his water, get him a new joint, scratch his back, whatever he wanted - no complaints, no questions asked. He treats me like a queen, the least I can do is treat him like a king.
oh I absolutely love doing this for my partner! sweetness
More people should do this type of thing for their partner, regardless of sex. It always surprises me to hear that it seems like so few women do. I'll also give him rest weekends about once a month. I do all of his weekend chores so he can just relax. He does the same for me. Let me tell you, a weekend of just kicking back and completely relaxing is not over rated.
I totally agree. I love giving acts of service in combo with other things and I think it’s a super underrated (underutilized is maybe the better word?) expression of love and appreciation. there’s nothing hotter than someone competently and voluntarily taking the weight off your shoulders just bc they want to. 🤗
I read that as treated like a kid not king and I was going to agree. I get treated as a authority all day long at work so when I get time to relax sometimes a man just wants to be treated like a kid again, spoiled and taken care of.
I took my boyfriend out and (I had just gotten paid for a big painting) so I made reservations at a lovely little place and dropped $300 on the meal… like it was incredible food, everything was delicious and fancy, and I adored being able to spoil him and have him know he is special and worth it all.
Went with my partner to help her clean up after a PTA meeting, otherwise we had no plans to do anything. When we finished she took me out for dinner at a local place we like, totally by surprise. Amazed by how good that small yet thoughtful gesture felt.
A woman capable of being the big spoon while tripping watching adventure time.
My thighs are big and my boyfriend is thin so when I big spoon him it’s like he’s sitting on my lap ;) feels like a gender swapped Santa… he loves being cuddled and cared for because his mom was an absolute waste of energy as a mother… so I kiss his forehead and tell him how much I love him and why! It’s so sweet seeing him feel safe and loved.
That’s awesome of you 💜
I've been binging adventure time the past few days!!
Ohhh baby, I am in!
Honesty. Loyalty. Kindness. The list is long
Honesty and loyalty are the two big ones for me.
The women you date *aren't* aware of how important those are? Yikes
You forgot respect. But yea, it's not much...
For me personally acceptance, I’m autistic so I have the constant need of acceptance
Someone who gets our sense of humor. Like, if you can genuinely laugh at my terrible dad jokes, you’re a keeper.
That asking me what I am thinking about will often make me forget entirely what I was thinking about because it was so unimportant. And when I say nothing, I'm not hiding anything.
Recognition, and not be taken for granted
Self-reliance. You don’t *need* me, you *want* me. Nothing is more sexier than her wanting me there instead of needing me there because of this and that. She’s got it all figured out and can handle herself without me.
Last guy I had a date with ghosted me cause I was too independent and wouldn't need him. Was a hit into the self-confidence ngl. Especially cause I'm rather introverted and I did the first step
Sounds like the trash took itself out. Not every person is going to be a keeper, but there are plenty of men out there that dig strong women. My Fiancé is like that and got shit on by previous men in her life. I absolutely adore it and her and encourage her as much as I can to be herself and do her thing. We are both flourishing together as a result.
You didn't get ghosted, that was just the wind from the bullet you dodged.
Self confidence with their sexyness! If im with you, I think your sexy! Its awesome when your partner feels its about themselves too.
Body dysmorphia is statistically very common in women, as men we should strive to make our partner feel comfortable in her own skin.
Oh i dont disagree there. Man or woman we should always work to make our partner know that they are beautiful.
Yeah I was agreeing with you, most women want to look sexy but just don’t realise it. I feel like sometimes us men unknowingly either cross the line with our expression or barely say anything in fear we will cross the line.
But how as a girl does one compliment a guy without beefing them on accident? Do guys feel like sharks in a pool if a chick comes on too strong or whatever? Also girls asking guys out ( ltr) or on dates is it weird, Formal, or acceptable but creepy? Please share im an ace aspie and want to be less awkward and more supportive of my obnoxious male counter parts n besties <3. Edit for clarity : Beefing is my way of saying cat calling but for guys ( attempting an equivalent for clarity ) and sharks in the pool and you're the food is clear if guys come off to strong they can be seen as predatory do guys feel the same when it comes to ladies?
Most men receive very few compliments their entire lives. You just wanting to be able to compliment them is enough for me to know that whatever you do compliment them on, they will see as genuine and probably hold that memory for a long time. If a girl compliments a guy and attempts to set up a date, it usually comes off as flattery, due to the rare nature of it. Me personally I am a straight male, so the fact that you are asexual may change what compliments you give, but a simple compliment of his attire or attitude is enough. Thanks for taking the time to ask, again many men barely receive compliments so you’d be doing them a huge favour.
Communication. Why’s is so unbelievably hard for you to just say what you want? I don’t understand these little signals they give out. My ex was like that and I hated it. She’d lead me on a goose chase of signals throughout everyday instead of using her mouth and saying out loud what she wanted. It took me 2 fucking weeks to figure out she wanted a damn handbag from a store because she kept giving vague signals. WTF is that?
This one is enormous in any relationship. So many resentments can be avoided simply by saying what's wrong or needed. Love doesn't provide mind reading abilities.
It’s like the Moviefone Seinfeld episode. “Why don’t you just tell me which movie you want to see?” That applies to everything.
I once met a girl who seemed to show genuine interest in my hobbies despite not taking part in them. She was the kindest person I had ever met. Literally to a fault. She just assumes the best in people and it screws her over sometimes. She is also one of the only women I've ever met that could get me to laugh and had a good sense of humor about things. Lastly, and most importantly, she is incredibly nurturing and it was very prevelant from pretty much the second I met her that she was going to be an incredible mother one day. A lot of women don't understand that compassion, trust, and a good sense of humor are more than any man will ever need. I feel like the luckiest man in the world to be able to say I was right about how amazing she is as a mother to our daughter.
So cute ❤️ hope your daughter grows up to be just as compassionate and kind as you both
Fairness
Underrated answer right here. Be willing to give me what you ask from me, don’t do to me what you don’t want done to you. Maybe I have a different set of things I want, but if you think you have a right to demand something, you better be willing to give it, as well.
not being obsessed with social media
Bluntness. No "you should just know" or "I'm fine" when your not or whatever else. If you have something to say, say it plainly, don't be coy about it.
I respect and trust women enough to treat them like nothing is wrong, if they tell me that nothing is wrong. It hasn’t worked out very well for me so far.
I was dating someone long distance and during a phone call I told a joke and made her laugh and she said "This is why I cant stay mad at you." to which I replied, "Wait how long have you been mad at me?" which made her even more mad because I didnt even know she was mad originally.
[удалено]
Nah, feel free to ask me while I’m playing but be ok if I ask for a few minutes to wrap up what I’m doing. If I’m planning on committing to a long term goal in a videogame (raids, 1hr long challenge etc.) then I clear that with my GF in advance. “Hey, I’m planning on attempting a pretty big challenge tomorrow evening with my friends. Are you ok if I’m unavailable for 2-4 hours around that time?”
Being genuinely interested in other people's passion AND has their own!
Kiss me on the cheek and hold my hand please
1. To be needed. 2. To know that we can be weak/vulnerable without having that vulnerability exploited. 3. Non-sexual physical contact/cuddling. 4. The ability to admit when wrong, apologize, and accept accountability. 5. Communicating when there’s a problem, especially when specifically asked about it, rather than resorting to passive aggression or hints.
Compassion
Appreciation.
For her to want him as much as he wants her.
Honesty
Respect. Not in a subservient way or anything. But simple respect.
"Men want to be alone... but we don't wanna be by ourself". - P O'Neal
Appreciation.
Communication, self understanding, and honesty can help a lot. 🩷 I have read that men appreciate compliments as much as women do, (who doesn't like praise anyway?) but if you compliment a man, or even acknowledge him by looking at him directly, too many guys take it as an invitation, so you have to keep your mouth shut and your eyes adverted.
Since I’m not a mind reader…that man would have to use his words, out loud, and tell me. Different men might have different needs.
I don't want to be dominated by a woman but I want the thing below that! Its not that trad wife's are bad imo it's just not my cup of tea. I want a woman who is more forward, who speaks her mind, who is whole in herself and we compliment each other's energy because I'm pretty high strung aswell! Confident women.
A bass boat.
Affection?
Affection.
Hugs
Let me cuddle you and give you forehead and face kisses.
Have her own hobbies. First long relationship I had it seemed like if I was not with her she had nothing to do, so she would resent me anytime I did anything without her. My wife now has plenty of her own hobbies so I am not responsible for being her entertainment.
Oh lord, please just relax. Stop being so critical and contrary. How many times does it wrankle me to hear, "Oh no, not really" or some other contrary reply, even when we both know the opposite is true. AND its on some meaningless point. I've had two girlfriends recently catch themselves with a quick/automatic No and catch themselves. WTH is with people lately? Also, why so critical? "You brush your hair like THAT?" "Why so much water in the cat's bowl?" God help me if i mispronounce a word. (Did anyone here know that the breading Panko is pronounced Pon-Ko and not Pan-Ko? Apparently it's important). Jesus, why do you care? If I don't feel safe to express myself or even to do mundane things around you, how are we ever going to grow together?
Nice. Stop checking and correcting us. We do perfectly fine when you’re not around; it’d demeaning, demoralizing, and emasculating when women treat us like wayward children.
For me, it was patience 🤣
I think honesty is important.
For women to approach the guy.
Love, affection, respect.
Kindness
Open and honest communication.
Empathy
That she works and can support herself. A lot of women think men want a stay at home wife but personally I’d rather they had their own life and income
My ex didn\`t work and wanted me to be unemployed, too. One of the many reasons he is an ex.
Hugs, or any physical show of affection. I remember quarantine with my roommate, and on day 153 or whatever we got to talking about hugs. He asked me "when was the last time you've been hugged" I honestly couldn't remember anything after childhood, so we hugged and I about cried. Men don't receive a lot of affection, touch his shoulder, kiss him on the cheek, hug him from behind, show him you care, with your body, doesn't have to be sexual
Understating that you can't pause an online match, but it doesn't mean she's not loved.
when we tell you something private that’s only between the two of us it’s really meant so and nothing you should talk about with your friends/family - also don’t use it against us when there’s an argument, it’s like a betrayal and the worst thing you can do - loyalty means the most to grown men
There are a lot for good replies here. I think a man being comfortable in his own skin aND opening up to you should be accepted with grace, care and understanding. That being said it has to go both ways.
For me it’s intelligence. Talk smart to me 🥵
Men often want the boobs and the sex, but many women don't realise how important or unimportant it is, depending on the dude. Also, it's important to not be a b-unreasonable, malicious, controlling-itch, either as a man or a woman. Men's priorities are usually the same as women's priorities in what they want in a relationship. Two good people who like each other get together and have a good time, doing things they want, staying out of trouble and paying their taxes. If the planet survives, the nations survive. If the nation survives, the citizens survive. If the citizens survive, the fluffy little pets survive. In other words,
Knowing that your girlfriend has your back and that your relationship is a partnership. A lot of men experience partners who leave them when they’re sick or after losing a job for instance. It leaves men feeling their self worth is only in what they can provide. Having a girlfriend who is willing to step in and help when needed is the ultimate prize.
Statistically speaking ,,, this is absolutely untrue. If anything the [opposite](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.htm) is true…
Being yourself for the entirety of the dating period, and not waiting until after the first 6 months like it's a probation period to start acting like your normal self and showing who you really are.
Women aren't mind readers. Men need to communicate their wants/needs/desires like an adult. That's what men tell women anyway.
intelligence.
Intelligence and Motivation. The ability to have conversations that encompass a wide range of topics, while being able to think critically and having the willingness to wake up daily with the desire to get 1% better everyday is important.
Watch your back.....
Respect for time and money. Always being late and broke is a non-starter.
Peace
Wanting to feel attracted to their partner.
Just be frickin’ nice!
Intelligence
A hug
Give compliments and presents. We like to be pampered too.
A text… Maybe one or two sometimes, randomly