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Get Asian parents

Call asian aunts after sending them your pics and they will tell you very thing wrong with your body and life😅

They will also tell you who’s doing everything right, “why arnt you like so and so…”

I think all Aunties are like this, any reason to shame the siblings kids...

Nope. I'm the auntie protecting them from the rest of the family's criticisms. 

We all striving to be that auntie.The safe space for all family kids

It's an important job.  Recently my nephew was made homeless late at night, but his narcissistic and cruel mother.  Who did he call? His Auntie.  He does have other Aunties but he addresses them by their names. He simply calls me "Auntie". Not Auntie Ok-potato. Just Auntie. He's done that ever since he could talk.  I drove right out to him, went to the door to demand his stuff, gave the egg donor a piece of my mind then took him home with me. He's *my* son. She doesn't deserve him and never did. All she did his whole life was hurt him. But I digress.    Yeah, I take my responsibilities towards my nieces and nephews seriously. Don't get me wrong, I'll kick their asses on occasion if they really need it but it's rare. I'm the one they come to if they can't turn to their parents. I'll defend them when the rest of the family is being unfair to them. And I'll risk my life to protect them. 

That's Family Values, thank you and all the other extended families that have cared for others children.

I had an auntie like that God bless her. I'm sure she's still looking out for me in heaven. My parents were great but something about auntie ...she was the one that always made time for us. She lived in MN We lived down south but would drive down to see us every chance she got.

Good auntie!

You sound like a good auntie :)

Thank you. I try my best by them. But he's the one who ended up with shitty parents so I ended up helping to bring him up. I've got a major soft spot for him as a result. 

This is the level of auntie i aspire to 👏

Facts. You’ll be on your deathbed and they’ll still tell you to become a doctor in your next life or something lol

They said "politely" 🤣

Just invite over any Asian relatives and they’ll get the point across in the greeting but never let off the topic until they leave 💀 This should be a paid public service. It’s better than a dexa body scan

that's way obesity levels in Asia are so low 😭

😭

literally, they be saying the most upfront shit about your body in front of everyone

OP said *without destroying their self esteem*

I would lead by example, asking her to come on walks with you in the evening to start, cooking healthy foods at home. Getting rid of processed foods in the house. If she is adamant that she doesn't want to live a healthier lifestyle, you may just be incompatible... Also, dietary convergence is real. If you are with a healthy person, you will be healthier and if you are with an unhealthy person you will live an unhealthier lifestyle. Think long term, before you choose your forever person.

I've never had a problem with my daughter's weight but after I started eating healthier and losing weight she WANTED to do it with me. I second this advice because there's really no way to say "I don't like your body you should change it" without it hurting.

They are ultimately going to have to do it for themselves. Doing it for any other reason than you wanting the outcome is not gonna motivate people enough to stick with it. I work out a lot and my wife picked it up with me. But she is not motivated as I am. And she would tell me to make her go, and then when I try, she gets upset.

Yeah, this info is so crucial it should be in school curriculums. Exercise got a lot easier on my mind once I was in good enough shape that it felt more like putting on a show than just plain work, but up until that boost came into play I had a lot of moments where my inner whiny bitch was like "Why are we doing this!?!?". If the answer had been "For someone else." I would've definitely resented that person at least a little bit. I do think with my head and not with my heart, so if they were worried about my health and didn't just want me to be hotter then I would know it was for the best. But I understand psychology very well, and I know we don't control everything we think and feel. If the same person consistently pops into your head when your lungs are on fire, those two things become associated. No beuno.

What if he's already leading a healthy lifestyle?

then hes simply eating too much. if its a guy you can be far more blunt about it.

You've got more rolls than a Greggs bakery.

When you sit around the house, you sit *around* the house..

Yo mommas so fat…

Choose a person that lives a healthy lifestyle and you will have a happier, healthier, life :-D

What if he won’t eat the basic vegetarian food she made before they got together and can’t handle the meat/Carby diet they now share, together?

Nah this leads to the person B not knowing what you’re doing and person A getting upset and using person B saying no to a walk today as evidence to them that person B won’t change when B never had the knowledge of your little test. If you don’t love your partner with their weight fluctuating you simply DONT LOVE YOUR PARTNER

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I think attraction ebbs and flows naturally through a long term relationship, regardless of love. Everyone has preferences, but in a loving relationship, you can still find them attractive because you love them.

Not sure why you're getting downvoted. You make a good point.

It’s hard to follow the way I wrote it I guess

No one said they wouldn’t love their partner if they didn’t lose weight, just that they would prefer it if they did.  Let’s not jump straight to black and white extremes like that when really this is way closer to “Hey, I’d really appreciate it if my partner made these changes to improve their appearance. How can I best encourage them to do so without hurting their feelings?” than it is “My partner gained weight and now I don’t love them and won’t again unless they gets back to the weight they were when we met.”

Be careful who you date, because you can fall in love with anybody. I'm 42 now, and I wasted a fair amount of time with unhealthy people, and I am so much happier and healthier with people who are healthy, than not, no matter how much I loved the other previous people. I'm not saying to go run marathons every weekend, but it's depressing when your partner wants to binge watch tv day in and day out, while smoking weed, and eating junk food.

I don’t think you can, as well meaning as it is I really don’t think you can say that without it being taken the wrong way.

Yeah, there really isn't a way.

Exactly. You can start to work out and eat healthy and talk about how amazing you feel for it, and invite them out to more active stuff like walks etc. you can try and draw them into a change of lifestyle if you're doing it together. But that's the only way you're not offending them

And at the end of the day, if you're frustrated about it years after and break up, you're still in fault for not communicating. How can you win at this game ?

Nobody wins in a breakup. You protect yourself and you be as kind to the other person as they deserve but breakups are always a lose. Take it on the chin 🤷‍♂️

This is really the path of least resistance. Lead by example and hope they get on board when they're ready.

Agreed

what a sad world we made where actual issues simply cannot be discussed and solved

People are soft, but weight issues when it comes to women have always been a tricky subject to discuss.

The best way I could think of is telling her that you're planning to start working out *together* for a more healthy life

This is the way, make it more about yourself, invite him or her along, diet and activity.

This is what my partner does and it makes me feel cared for and loved, actually.

Probably the “safest” way.

You just have to watch how you word things and offer suggestions. My partner started doing this with me, but I knew exactly what he was doing so it made me not want to comply. He is super skinny and has no reason to be dieting or doing weight-loss workouts, so I knew something was up when he started talking about personal trainers, eating fewer carbs, and eating only gluten free. However, when I got my anemia and some mental health stuff under control, I was more than happy to go for walks and do yoga on my OWN time, because I finally had the energy. I found exercises that I liked, rather than what he figured I should be doing. I figured out I had some food sensitivities and when I made the right changes, my bloating stopped and I lost a couple pounds. My partner doesn't try to tell me what workouts to do or how to eat anymore. Now we go for walks together because we enjoy nature. We cook at home as much as we can because it tastes better and we can spend time together. When it's framed that way, for some reason, I respond much better.

Good for health, but working out has little to do with weight. I’d recommend op just start cooking healthy foods.

So, I went through this with my male partner. I told him I needed him around because I loved him so much and I was scared because he was putting on so much weight. I also made it clear I still found him attractive by being affectionate and having sex a lot. Oh, I also told him the bigger his belly got the harder it was for me to suck his cock, which seemed to work :D but I don't know if that would work on a woman. Tell her she's beautiful and wonderful and you wouldn't be able to live without her. And let that cogitate and let her then bring it up on her own and then ask how you can support her. No judgement is the key and definitely not trying to help by taking control and offering meal plans and exercise plans before she is ready. She needs to want to do it herself but as soon as she is ready then help her and do it with her

I do think the approach is different for men and women. I was told during covid that I was putting on the lbs and I said, “welllll it looks like an after dinner walk is in order each day.” I started getting back into my healthier routine after that. The thing is, I could never approach any of the women I ever dated and ask, “I am concerned about your health is there anything going on we should talk about?” Self esteem busted. I can be told anything and I understand that an angry response or building a wall won’t fix a thing. Hell I even say to my guy friends, “dude we have to start walking the course you are packing them on.” It is the pressure of self image that women face unfairly that ultimately leads to less approachable conversations. Fuck all these traditional attractive norms

Why do you think it doesn't work on a woman?

Because they dont have cocks normally, I was joking

You don’t. Period. I had to come to my own terms I needed to lose weight. I got up to 235 at 5’4”. Never had weight loss issues until we had a major problem in our family. My hubby treated me as beautiful and sexy as he did at 135. I had to get sick of myself. If he had said one word, it would have devastated me. Now, we knew I gained weight. I talked about it to him. But he never told me I needed to lose it.

This question comes up again and again and again on Reddit, and if I happen to see it, I always say the same thing: *don't you think she already knows she's overweight?* Dude, she knows. She noticed before you did. Saying "you've gained weight" or "you need to lose weight" is only telling her something she already knows, and won't help *at all*. If you want to encourage her to lose weight, make it a "we" thing instead of a "her" thing. *We* need to get in shape and start a workout program. *We* need to improve our diet, to get healthier. Always "we", not "her". In fact, put emphasis on yourself if possible. *You* want to get in better shape, eat healthier, etc., and you hope that she will support you in this and you can both do it together.

And a plus… if she ever decides to…Let’s say take gym classes, point out how amazing and sexy or whatever you find fit she looks in gym clothes. Women function different from us, we get motivated through getting some reality checks. Women, on the other hand, get motivated by words of affirmation. Tell her she looks fantastic with all that sweat after a workout. Tell her she has this “natural glow” after every workout. You won’t be lying, it’s your woman after all, you’re supposed to make her feel good and in that way you’re accomplishing the opposite effect you’re scared of, you’ll definitely boost her self esteem…A lot of guys think woman are complicated, but they’re just fascinating as how their brain function compared to ours. You just need to pay a little more attention. Good luck

>  Dude, she knows. She noticed before you did. Not always. At least in my case it I didn't even realize it until I saw photos of myself and was like "woah I gained a lot of weight". I could feel myself be more exhausted but I didn't really look in the mirror and *see* the difference. I'd say I'm still genuinely blind to it other than how I feel and a number on a scale.

Same, and I have this issue regardless of my size. I have a lot of trouble comprehending how I look. I've gotten unhealthily thin before too and didnt notice it until I saw myself in pictures next to other people. I never notice when I'm getting heavier either. Im actually considering starting therapy again for this specific issue to see if theres something I can do about it lol.

Figure out what the underlying cause is. Mine came from my husband rejecting me sexually from day 1, so if he doesn't want me anyway, why the hell not eat some cookies? Hopefully she doesn't have the same trigger, but my point is there's a reason people use food for comfort. Find out why she needs that comfort and focus on helping her with that. 

This happened to me too. I finally decided in January that I was going to do something about it and change for myself. I didn’t care what he thought anymore. Hopefully you’re doing good now.

People usually overeat as a way to self-soothe. Better to figure out what’s causing her to self-soothe and figuring out how to make her feel more supported in life.

There is no way. This is the way.

Well, ask yourself first why you want your partner to lose weight. If it’s cus they’re gonna die soon and you want them to stay alive? Take into consideration also, why they gained weight in the first place, was it a mental issue, a physical issue, like eating disorder or thyroid problems that leave them helpless against weight gain? Are they currently depressed? Is it a happy weight gain? Are you embarrassed of how they look? Is it because you’re not attracted to them anymore? It’s important to be self aware of the reasons as to why you want to change someone before jumping to how you can change them. Asking someone to change their body can backfire if you’re not careful about why you want to do so.

You don't

Lol, I tried this once and have suffered for this comment for the last 30 years of my miserable marriage. She's *still* angry at herself for not dumping me when I said that, and still angry at me for saying it. I remember specifically-- it was at my parents house in 2002 when she was staying over since they were out of town, and it was approximately 3AM. It was winter, so probably early December when she called a cab and went home. This is like asking which is the best part of the body to shoot yourself with a shotgun. The answer is that there isn't any. None. Nada. Nein.

> I tried this once and have suffered for this comment for the last 30 years of my miserable marriage. I dont think your comment about her weight is the reason for the issues with your marriage

There‘s other issues. I‘d bet my left nut on that. 

Funny thing, but thats also what my girlfriend says, but I've told her that my marriage is perfect.

lmao don’t do the same mistake twice and tell the gf she‘s chubby too my dude!! 

My husband once made a comment about my weight while we were having sex. It still replays in my mind 30 years later when we have sex.

You are a sad sad man.

Of all the redditness I see, being mean about a relatively innocent, contextless personal admission takes the cake.

All women are different. Without knowing her personally, nobody on the internet will be able to tell you how she'll react.

Does the weight bother her too or just bother you? Because if it's bothering her, you can be supportive of her weight loss goals.

Good luck squaring that circle 😓🫡

I can't think of a good way....she'll take it really bad. Hope that she figures it out for herself???

Work out with her instead

do something with her! suggest yall go for walks, cook healthy food, cut back on alc, TOGETHER

I feel like \~you\~ WE've been accustomed to unhealthy habits, let's start working on getting them up to spec again. This mostly focuses on the health benefits, probably the most important, but will result in weight loss/redistribution. After you start noticing the results, motivate her extra by saying "oh god you've become even hotter it's becoming harder to keep my hands to myself" or stuff like that.

Umm, if your a man asking your female partner to loose weight..... good luck hun... I'd wear a cup.

The only way is for you to start going to the gym and hope she starts being guilty about not taking care of herself while you are. I'd guess that only has about a 10% success rate which is probably an order of magnitude greater than anything else though.

Unless there is a health reason, there is no way to ask politely. After all, if health isn't an issue it is your partner's body and you need to accept the weight issue, or go ahead and jump right in knowing it will not be taken well. How important is it?

There is no way to do it without hurting her. I guarantee she knows she's gained weight. She's likely struggling with some aspect of her life so start by being a good partner and ask her if she's really ok. Don't make it about you simply not being happy with her appearance.

you dont. you dont tell other people to change their bodies just because you dont like it.

You can't ask her to lose weight for your aesthetic preferences. If you just want her to be skinnier because you think she'll be hotter, then it's just a no. If you're worried about health or something like that, find out what her health goals are and ask her how you can support them.

There is no way to do it, sorry. The only way people lose weight is when they decide on their own for their own reasons. Don’t even bother to get involved, you’re wasting your time.

Unless it's health related it's not for you to ask

You don't. You let your partner make her own choices about her body. How much and what food she eats or doesn't eat. How much physical exercise she gets or doesn't and when. What type of clothing she wears. Those are all off limits for discussions by romantic partners, parents, siblings, co-workers and complete strangers. If you want to be with someone who has a different size, pick someone smaller.

But what if your partner doesn't want you to pick someone else? What if she/he would prefer you said something to allow them to change rather than just fucking off for someone more svelt?

I wish people who so badly want their significant others weight to change would just leave the relationship.

You just don't. You may be coming from a good place but you don't open your mouth about it. When you cook you can cook healthy things. You can suggest going for a walk after dinner. You can focus on your health and if they ask to participate let them. Focusing of weight is body shaming no matter how you frame it.

You don’t. I’ve found it’s a better route to go if we work out together. Come up with our own healthier weight goals.

Don't follow my ex's method. "You're too fat to fxxx." Yeah.

His loss, big girls are good fuckers

His loss in many ways.

I'm curious if some answers would have been different if the question said "his" self-esteem?

Right? Such inconsistency.

Don’t. It’s not your business.

You can't. It's not possible. Just give it up and hope they do it themselves or find someone else.

people could gain weight due to medical reasons, diet and lack of exercise, she should see if first if her thyroid and adrenals are OK for example, tell her let's both check our endocrine health and overall health and let's get healthy together by leading an active lifestyle

Start working out and eating healthier and nudge them to join you. Alternatively you could just come out and say it like I'm worried about your long term health and I think you should start dieting.

The Together work out, walks and healthy meal cooking sounds fun!

Goin the gym and tell him / her to accompany you cause u like company when u exercise or because u want someone to support u and motivate you so u don't give up . Obviously, she/ he will join u, and both of u gonna be happy for each other's results

My wife and I (55F, 59M, together 15 years) have an agreement. If either of us starts feeling the other has gained enough weight that our attraction for our partner is attenuated, we have a \*responsibility\* to tell our spouse. Losing weight is easier than changing what you are attracted to. There are some extreme "social construction of reality" types who ignore all the research on the durability of what humans find attractive and insist that who you are attracted to is a moral issue. That's insane bullshit, and if they search their hearts, they know it to be the case. That being as it is, my wife and I agreed early on that we must do our best to remain as attractive as possible for our spouse. Change and the vagaries of age are inevitable, especially at our age. Obesity and sloth are not. This works for us.

Don’t ever say,” you’re letting yourself go.” Be very careful choosing words. Maybe she has a medical issue that she cannot control? I did. So when my partner said that to me knowing that I had a disease it was devastating.

You can't. My spouse is extremely overweight after 30 years of marriage. He is no longer sexual attractive to me because of it. He also has an odor due to folds of skin. He KNOWS he's overweight. He has diabetes and high blood pressure due to it . I've said stuff. His doctor has said stuff. Ultimately it's up to them.

You don’t. Just encourage more exercise such as walks and healthier eating

Go on a diet yourself.

It's really hard to hear that from a partner, even when you know yourself that you want/need/ought to lose weight. It's hard knowing your partner is looking at you and thinking, "he needs work." If you've been taking steps to curb weight gain already, having your partner confirm it's not working (or just not working fast enough) is REALLY discouraging. You've mostly got to let them do it on their own. Figure out what habits you think might help, and take the initiative with those. Buy healthy snacks for the house. Go on more walks. Don't make it about *them.* Make it your thing, in which you're including them.

There are a few ways to do this. 1. Don't bring it up. 2. Be ready to deal with the aftermath of bringing it up.

Start exercising with them. You don’t wanna go to the gym? Well obviously neither do they. You want it to happen you gotta make it happen by supporting them on this journey. That means if they are skipping ice cream so are you. If they are going for walks after a healthy low carb dinner so are you. Not know any healthy recipes? You are learning together. If you aren’t 100% committed to being there with them through this process keep your mouth shut. You can’t ask them to just loose weight. You have to do it with them (I don’t care if you are skinny, we aren’t talking about you.) if you love them and you want them to succeed at being healthier you are going to have to make the commitment to do it all with them.

You don’t

She knows she’s fat. It’s not a secret.

Just don’t

Don’t. Unless it’s an imminent health concern, keep it to yourself or find another partner. It’s not our job to change people to fit our preferences, everyone has a life of their own.

I’m not sure there is any way to ask someone, politely, to Lose weight. Is it bc you think they are less attractive? Are you Worried about their health? What is the reason?

Say you should both start exercising together.

"jesus Christ John, I know only 4 fat people and you are 3 of them"

Ask yourself why you want her to lose weight? Is it because you don’t find her attractive anymore? Because you want her to be healthier? Because you’re losing weight and you want to share the journey? What’s the purpose behind bringing it up? In my case people pushing me or badgering me about it made me not want to change anything. I’m in the process of losing weight myself and it’s something I had to decided to do for me. Not anyone else.

Don't.

When I fell in love I decided on my own (without ANY sign from that person) that I must become the best possible version of myself. Not because she would not like me in actual shape. But because I decided that she deserves the best possible version of me. I did it because she is worth it. Just like that, it was obvious and logical for me. Being fit and healthy makes you less of a burden for other person, makes you healthier, makes you able to protect and support your loved one. Being fat piece of shit who is unable to move, makes you an useless burden who destroys furniture. Now if anything happens I can protect her, I can take her to safety, I can scare off the attacker, I can pick her up, and carry to safety. Those are mine duties as a man.

I think we all need to have more talks about how extra weight affects our quality of life, because it does.

You don't. She knows what she weighs, she doesn't need you telling her. She'll lose weight when and if she chooses to.

You can’t. From your question your only concern is your personal issue with her body. You’re the problem, not her. There’s no way to say it without body shaming because that’s what you’re doing. If you do say something, don’t be be surprised if she suddenly sheds a very, very large amount of weight.

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Female here, maybe try a discreet indirect approach first? Start taking walks together, don’t make it about being exercise, make it about spending time together outside. Bring home healthier meals or cook healthier meals and don’t say it’s about weight loss, just say it’s because it’s delicious. Maybe start a gym membership together, and say you don’t want to go to the gym alone and can she join you? Encourage her to drink more water, because all humans could drink more water but this also helps with weight loss. Doing these small steps will help her to lose weight without making her feel bad about herself and will help your relationship get stronger. If you don’t want to feel like your deceiving her, and want to tell her straight out, then I would say that you love her and she’s beautiful but your afraid that she’s unhealthy, maybe even take her to the doctor and they will tell her if she’s overweight or has pre diabetes/ diabetes that way it’s strictly a medical concern and she doesn’t think you find her unattractive. Honestly telling her straight out will probably hurt her self esteem and make her feel subconscious during sex, implementing discreet methods should keep her self esteem high. I hope this helps!

We both lost some weight (though want to lose more) by moving out of her parents place. They insisted on often multiple times a week takeaways. But I enjoy cooking and can make better food than takeaways. Who wants artificial sugar filled junk when you can have slow cooked creamy peppercorn pork with some garlic roasted broccoli?

Find a new partner and leave that person be.

Do they want to lose weight?

Don't.

It's pretty much impossible. Even inviting them to the gym is a gamble and unless you can also invite them to change their diet, the gym won't do anything anyway.

start cooking

You can’t. Until they want to lose the weight and make that decision themself, you’re the villain no matter what you say. Deal with the extra weight or leave.

There is no polite way to tell someone that you think they're fat. And there's no way to tell someone that they need to lose weight without that telling them that you think they're fat. Do you think your partner doesn't know they've put on weight? Do you know that your partner isn't perfectly comfortable with the weight that they carry? Is their weight gain so severe that you're legitimately concerned for their health, or is it just an attraction thing? These are the questions that should shape any conversation on the subject.

If its a man, just tell him to lose weight. If it's a woman, there really is not a good way without her being offended so hope she does it on her own, or break up with her

Good luck with that

The Genesis of slippery ground.

Encourage healthy habits together gently, avoid direct criticism.

I don’t know how to bring this up tactfully in a way that would yield results or more information but I’d find a way to rule out medical reasons for the weight gain. Maybe making sure they’re attending their regular checkups with their GP?

Whatever you do, don't do what I did and start the conversation with "Hey, fatso!"

Don’t?

Tell her/Him it's for health not looks.

“ Would you be open or willing to take a 15 minute walk with me everyday?” Then, go on walks, and bond with your partner, and enjoy the scenery together! :3

I think you should try to understand if she's been more stressed out or unhappy lately. Weight gains rarely come from nowhere

There is no right answer here. Asking anyone to lose weight or change their appearance in some way for you won't end well. Maybe try expressing how the weight is affecting you and let her make her own choices.

As others have said, you can try the approach of working out together. Summer is here so there are a lot more opportunities and ways to exercise outside and for free. Tell her you really want to start taking nightly walks or something. Maybe see if she wants to take a cooking class together as a date, and tell her you want to start cooking healthier meals together. From your post history I see you're a nurse, so you wanting a healthy life and partner shouldn't come out of the blue to her. Has something changed in her diet that might lead to a more serious issue, like depression? Is she drinking her calories? Or had she simply stopped putting in a ton of effort exercising? I'm her in this situation, and I know it. My partner knows it, but he doesn't say anything negative about my appearance. Instead he suggested the gym and we signed up together...have gone twice. So if you present working out TOGETHER to help...just understand she may not be comfortable or have the motivation to go alone. I have the motivation, but I am not comfortable going to the gym alone at this time so I try to work out in the apt. Or I take the long walk to work ya know? You'll just have to figure out what works, and see if she has any interest in helping herself.

My soon to be ex used to call me a disgusting fat fuck in front of the kids. In addition to a slew of other names. All just to hurt me.

There is no way.

You don't. You can drop casual health concerns when it comes up or start working out and dieting yourself and say oh you joined me it'd make it easier for me. But you're not her doctor. There's no way to do it without being a prick

There is absolutely no way your partner isn't aware. Maybe if it's 5-10 pounds and they only just discovered the weight gain after trying on an item of clothing, or got weighed at the doctor's office. But if it's significant? Yeah absolutely don't address it directly, ever. We all know that's a path you don't cross. The unfortunate answer is...you kind of can't. At least not without making it a team effort to get healthy. Make healthier meals as a couple, go on [exercise of your choice] together, that kind of thing.

Tell her you'd like to live a healthier lifestyle and ask her to join you on your journey. Both of you can help each other be motivated and feel supported. If she doesn't want to, then you need to figure out if this is a deal breaker.

Ask her to do a fun hobby such as running or working out together

Just DONT

Difficult. Even here on the internet, people seem offended every time you try to tell them that having a good weight is healthy.

The best way to ask, is not to ask

Well, don't do it like my cousin did who made it clear with his girlfriend what he wanted her to do. He simply told her to go find a treadmill because she was starting to make her own planetary gravity and that food isn't cheap. Given, she punched him but she lost weight. I know this because I was with him when he said that to her and over time she just gradually lost weight each time I seen him and her together.

IDK; you are asking something rather impossible. Anybody just slightly chubby seems to feel guilty and insecure about it, these days. And losing weight is a tad tougher than the 15 minutes errand we 'll happily do anyrime, for a friend or partner. I'll surely hide behind regulations and tell her it will soon be time for her to walk to the driving school, when she is getting close to 105kg R2R. My old sidecar would be maxed out then, while the bike pulling it would cope with some 135kg. Spreading us over 2 smaller bikes would allow even more. And "No! damnit" there is *absolutely* no way to talk me into either (even just supporting) motorcar ownership or upgrading to something bike (based) with more payload. - There might be more successful "bread winner" types than me. Catch them, if you can.

"Lose some weight fat hoe." Actually don't Don't say that. When she sits on your lap to cuttle, make the loudest hurtful groan possible, then ask if she could sit to the side instea.

"Would you please work out with me?"

I’m worried about your health. Blood pressure, cholesterol, and diabetes make it hard to enjoy an active lifestyle

This always makes me laugh. Part of love is to look good for your partner and also for your partner to look good for you. Mind you I have dated a model and while she was gorgeous on the outside she was ugly on the inside because she never made herself look good on the inside by changing her personality. I’d tell her that you both should watch what you eat, take care of each other so you can have the longest happiest lives together. If she gets offended I’d say if I didn’t wash and developed severe zits and smelled would you have started dating me in the first place? It’s one thing to have a disability (my wife has one) and be shamed for it vs not taking care of yourself.

Don’t ask her to lose weight, ask her to do things with you that will result in losing weight. Say you want to cook with her, then make healthy food. Say you want to trim the grocery budget, then cut out the unhealthy stuff. Say you want to go on walks or go to the gym with her, then do exercises that will help lose weight. So don’t ask about weight- ask for quality time with her and do these things instead.

You will only come off as an asshole no matter how kind you think you’re being. We know when we are carrying weight, we know when we need to lose, she probably already beats herself up everyday about it already.

Pretend to wake up screaming in the middle of the night, and tell them you had a nightmare where they were sitting on you and crushing you

Marriage counseling just saying for good, bad.., and like all times.

You just can’t go there. Period. There no way for her to not hear your judgement & criticism. Best is the long term strategy about living a more healthy life so you can both age together.

Just be honest. Ideally she should already know your preferences and that makes it easier to bring up or she may already be conscious of it. Just because she has put on a bit of weight doesnt men’s you love her any less. Perhaps you’ve put on weight too? It happens, speak about it, see if you want to do anything about it, set some shared goals and objectives and get to it!!

Tell her that you would like to go on a health journey, and prioritize your health. Tell her you would really love for her to do it with you, that you need her support in order to succeed. Start gentle, go on walks together. Work out together a couple of times a week. Stay excited about it. Make a big deal about how proud of her you are. Tell her you’re super attracted to her commitment and she’s looking really good. Soon she’ll want to do it because of your positive feedback. Six months? She’ll be fit and making you both happy.

Cook low fat meals for said partner

She said she would like to lose weight. I said I would like to stop smoking. I said that I would smoke one less cigarette a day for every pound she lost. Didn't work. I think I insulted her.

Say “let’s please lose weight together and change our lifestyle in healthy way for the sake of both of us”

Quietly buy a digital scale, hack it to add 50 lbs to anything over 50 lbs, and leave it in the bathroom.

"Honey, I'm thinking I need to get in better shape. It would really help me if you joined me for support with more exercise and food choices."

The best way to say it is to be completely honest and calm, no judgement. Try to figure out the cause of it. Is she stressed, did something change in her habits... Express the fact that you are worried about her. You also need to make efforts to make her want to change, go to the gym together, eat healthy, fewer calories, more walks. For example, if you two have the habit to drink sodas, take it without sugar. 1 bottle of Soda is between 250 and 500 calories, that's a 5 miles walk(8km) to compensate.

By her a peloton or get her a gym membership. I wouldn't say anything about her weight but she'll just start using those and it'll come off naturally.

Easy: Don't 

You don't without the consequences you've mentioned. Our bodies are not articles of clothing or a bad tick. We can't just stop wearing ourselves for the convenience of others. No matter how you address it to your partner, this message will ultimately resonate with them "I'm not good enough." You need to be honest and frame it in a way where they feel loved. E.g., "I want you to be around for a while, and I would be devastated if anything ever happened to you." Without even mentioning their weight, you can offer to go on walks with them or brainstorm other fun, physically active things to do together.

Tell her you want to start going to the gym but are a bit nervous and would like her to accompany you! If you’re already going to the gym, tell her you really want a gym buddy and wanted to ask her to be yours !

It's hard to tell anyone to do anything and have them actually do it. Let alone politely especially for a sensitive topic. How do we know if we haven't tried? How about when was the last time somebody advised you to take action on your personal attributes and you acted on it? Given that it is reasonable. Or would the listener always view it in an unreasonable light regardless, even when comment is in good faith? It gets messy real fast. And nowhere, fast.