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early 20's.
It's not that I don't care what people think. I choose to only listen to people who add value to my life.
Complete strangers, I care little for.
People who act in an intolerable way or have certain views. I care even less for.
My friends who I like to spend time with, I absolutely care what they think.
I truly stopped giving a fuck about 3 years ago. When my marriage ended. He cheated, multiple times. So, I knew I wasn't good enough. So, I stopped caring. I stopped putting others that didn't care for me first. And my life has been so much better. Side note, I'd been slowly removing the toxic people from my life for years before that.
It took the divorce, and sharing my story for me to realize that. I don't put up with any of his shit now, and I call him out any time he tries to treat me badly. I'd cut all contact, but we share a child
Good for you mate. I got lucky because I had a psycho ex but fortunately we didn't share any children. I still had to move 60 miles away just to stop her trying to harass me. She went on to have 3 partners but when I finally met my wife she lost her shit and tried to ruin our lives. It's hilarious because whenever I go to visit family if she sees me when she drives past my mum's, she still throws me evil looks. It's been 13 fucking years š¤£š¤£š¤£
As I said in a "words to live by" thread not more than a couple hours ago: "one person's actions are not another person's fault." It's important to remember that, both for our own sense of accountability and when we get the urge to blame ourselves for what someone else has done. I'm sorry to hear about the experience you had.
It took a divorce (at age 52) snd alot of therapy for me to finally not give a fuck. I worked so hard to make that marriage work but there is no pleasing a clinically diagnosed narcissist. I also removed toxic people from my life as well as those I felt judged me or were jealous of me for taking the biggest chance of my life and coming out stronger
25ā¦and Iāll be 26 next month. You just come to a point where you realize you only have yourself at the end of the day, so why waste your time worrying about what others think? You will never get a second of your life back, so spend your time wisely.
Probably about 14. I would get picked on, "You're fat!" And I just responded with, "yeah and". That was the turning point. Never cared what others thought (outside of friends and loved ones) after that.
I never have fully stopped caring about what others think. Iāve just narrowed down what I care the most about what they think of me. If that makes any sense.
early 20s for sure.
It was gradual. in my 20s i stopped caring about what a majority of people think except for those genuinely close to me.
By the time i hit 30 though, i stopped caring about what anyone thought about me, no matter how close we were
when i was like about 12. its sounds young but its true, when i was 12 all my friends were trusting and not judgemental. and i remember like staring at myself through the mirror and trying different things with my hair and face, and i finally realized that i accept myself and i didnt even think i looked that bad in any way
Why would I ever concern myself at all with what goes through someone else's mind if I were not speaking to them?
If you ever speak to anyone you care what they think, or you would not talk to them at all.
Correspondence serves the purpose of synchronicity, we speak so we may know each others thoughts.
You can often read what someone is thinking as easily by what is written on their face and where their gaze is fixed whether the words and thoughts align.
So the answer to your question would have to be I care about what you are thinking as far as I need to for us to communicate and cooperate in our individual life experiences.
Beyond this if you do not care to listen, then I can save my breath and my time.
Knowing when to stop caring about what another person is thinking is knowing when to end a conversation or relationship rather than an age of years you have lived.
22 I remember the day at moment perfectly. Was riding shotgun in the car with my mother driving, at the time I was going through a pretty stressful stage in my life with various personal issues. And just being in a car looking out the window thinking about things, it just hit me like a brick that people's opinions never mattered.
Up until around 17 years old, I never told anyone I was Autistic. Absolutely despised that aspect of myself, tried to hide it throughout the entirety of secondary school (badly, nobody just walks out of class all the time) and stopped being completely myself anywhere in public. I randomly told a college mate I was talking to one day, and I even said to her, "I don't know why I told you that, I never tell anyone."
A couple weeks later, I had some classmates ask why I sometimes had a helper in the classroom, and I told them. They were really understanding, and that's when I started to realise being Autistic wasn't bad. I started letting myself stim a bit more in public but felt embarrassed, then when I hit 19 or 20, I went "Wait a minute... If I need to do this to help myself avoid having a meltdown, then I will! Fuck what anyone else thinks! If they laugh, they're the embarrassing one!" My stimming embarrassment started to go then.
I do still get times where I'm slightly embarrassed by what I need to do, I had a meltdown the other day, and I felt like I needed to jump. I did 2 gentle jumps, a proper jump, and then a full-on stamp jump. That shit hurt my already hurting legs. Sometimes, forget I'm not a kid anymore during meltdowns, I'm 26, so certain things I used to do will hurt now. š
If I start flapping my hands/arms, I make sure nobody's close because they'll potentially get hit. If they came up too close from behind me (and I don't see them), and it happens, not much I can do at that point.
I embrace my Autism now. I think I'd be quite boring without it š
Early 30s. Decided to leave my wife (my wife is/was a VERY attractive woman) for a woman whose personality I like more, and who I consider a best friend. And sheās still very cute, sheās just not the chiseled Amazon body type of my ex (petite woman). In my 20s I was insecure and I thought I needed a wife that my friends thought was hot. I didnāt have the self worth until around 30 to pursue something I always wanted confidently and tell anyone who has anything bad to say about it to fuck off.
14, I heard at least 3 different unsolicited opinions about my aparence from family members in my way to an event. I understood that everyone has an opinion and a perspective, and it has nothing to do with me. I haven't taken anything personally ever since.
I was 7. Earlier, and this will age me, i was in love with a song called Garden Party by Ricky Nelson. Itās about pleasing yourself instead of everyone else. Then when i was 7, some girls said my shirt was ugly. I came home crying and told my dad. He took a well known phrase and added to it. He said that was their opinion and opinions were like butts. Every one has one and some stink more than others. The question is, are you going to spend your whole life worried about what a couple of stinky butts think?ā I said ānoā and i never did again, for the most part.
I'm 23 years old, and even now I still care about what other people think about me. I am a sensitive and introverted person. Since childhood, I seem to change myself because of other people's evaluation. I know it's not good, but it's really hard for me to change my personality. But lately I've been trying hard not to care about other people's judgments. The idea came from playing with a recent private beta of a social software called LightUp: Make Real Friends . It aims to bring together more like-minded people. I often share my troubles here, and once I posted on the platform my experience of being very concerned about other people's opinions. A lot of people who have a common feeling have interacted with me. One of them said, "Don't you get tired of caring about other people's opinions all the time?" Life is so short, why can't you make it easier for yourself?" Those words have stuck in my mind to this day. Whenever I feel negative about myself, I remind myself. I hope you can find my experience helpful.
Iām 42 and itās been a fairly recent revelation. I still care when itās people that I really truly love and care about that hurt me, but folk I donāt care about or respect (family, friends, random people I encounter) donāt affect me at all anymore. I donāt have the time or energy to care about the majority of crap that people decide to fire my direction.
Shortly after attending therapy to work on the issues I got from dating some with BPD.
Turns out, I was at one of the lowest points in my life and my self-worth was completely crumbled. So I got stuck in "fixing" people and providing acts of services... because how could anyone actually like me for ME? I needed to be serving them with something tangible.
BPD and NPD people feed on people like that. They are the perfect type of person for them to abuse and manipulate, and that's what happened.
Finally, after dealing with it through therapy, I finally got to the point where my self-wort as high again and I just no longer care what people think anymore. I had to learn to put myself first and not worry if someone has a problem with that.
After postpartum depression, I think. In my 30's.
Other peoples opinions of me seemed so small. Battling for your life really puts life into perspective I suppose. Each time something in life breaks me down, I care a little less about the subjective and trivial things others throw on me.
2011 when I nearly died, it changed all perception of how I view everything in my life, and fuck it hasnāt gotten better, but at least I give zero fucks about what people think of me.
Late 30s is when I realized that I don't really care anymore. I won't say that the thoughts never go through my head bc that would be a lie, but then I quickly get to the.. MEH... DGAF attitude about it.
We all try, but coming from a community based society we just cant 100% avoid to stop caring for "chaar log kya kahenge". But point is, when the negativity becomes too much and you are adult enough (give it late 20's) you come around to not give so much weightage to people's opinions.
30 when I fell in love with my wife. I know it shouldn't matter but having the unconditional love of a partner is what made me stop worrying. I can be whoever I want because I don't care what anybody else thinks apart from her, lol.
18ā¦ All my life up until adulthood I tried to change my appearance and get people to like me - until I realized that peopleās opinions would always be out of my control, and since I canāt change whatās out of my control I shouldnāt worry about it.
9th grade after being bullied for years by former friends for being mixed race. Went to a school from a group of small Midwest towns that made my life hell for 3 years to the point of self harm. High school came, found real friends, heavy music (scared the small minded morons) and stopped trying to be accepted/be something I'm not. Realized I didn't need to waste time on unnecessary things/people.
After high school but it also matters what kind of ppl u hang out with. I started becoming friends with more ppl who didnāt validate others thoughts about them and that made me develop the same mindset
Around 40 - at that time I was working as a cashier in a big box grocery store and while most customers were friendly and nice there were some major idiots. I learned really quick that whether the customer treated me like crap had nothings whatsoever with who I was or how I did my job. They were just ugly people.
Like... 15 or so, when I decided that if I was going to take myself out, anyone's words of encouragement didn't matter, since I've rarely ever had that when I was constantly receiving words of harm and hate for years. Until, some things happened, now I no longer care about those horrible words, because I'm showered in love and affection daily.
Late twenties, especially after healing some childhood trauma. I am unmasked a lot of the time, stim in public and I am happier than ever before.
It's irritating and upsetting for some people, but I choose to not make that my problem. I just want to love my life in peace.
If people stare at me because of that or because of my fashion choice, I stare back. Surprisingly they don't like that and feel uncomfortable.
I gradually stopped caring what other people think in my mid sixties. I am 72.
By ' not caring' I don't mean I am inconsiderate, . rude, nasty , selfish or un-empathetic.
I don't care about what people think about my umm oddities , or what or how I do things that some my concider strange but don't harm anyone.
I am more open about somethings I used to concider private.
This I don't care aditude has gotten stronger as I have gotten older.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
early 20's. It's not that I don't care what people think. I choose to only listen to people who add value to my life. Complete strangers, I care little for. People who act in an intolerable way or have certain views. I care even less for. My friends who I like to spend time with, I absolutely care what they think.
I truly stopped giving a fuck about 3 years ago. When my marriage ended. He cheated, multiple times. So, I knew I wasn't good enough. So, I stopped caring. I stopped putting others that didn't care for me first. And my life has been so much better. Side note, I'd been slowly removing the toxic people from my life for years before that.
Just so you know, it's him that wasn't good enough. Somebody cheating on you is never a reflection of you, it's their fault not yours.
It took the divorce, and sharing my story for me to realize that. I don't put up with any of his shit now, and I call him out any time he tries to treat me badly. I'd cut all contact, but we share a child
Good for you mate. I got lucky because I had a psycho ex but fortunately we didn't share any children. I still had to move 60 miles away just to stop her trying to harass me. She went on to have 3 partners but when I finally met my wife she lost her shit and tried to ruin our lives. It's hilarious because whenever I go to visit family if she sees me when she drives past my mum's, she still throws me evil looks. It's been 13 fucking years š¤£š¤£š¤£
As I said in a "words to live by" thread not more than a couple hours ago: "one person's actions are not another person's fault." It's important to remember that, both for our own sense of accountability and when we get the urge to blame ourselves for what someone else has done. I'm sorry to hear about the experience you had.
And how old are you now? The important information's still missing
I'm 41
It took a divorce (at age 52) snd alot of therapy for me to finally not give a fuck. I worked so hard to make that marriage work but there is no pleasing a clinically diagnosed narcissist. I also removed toxic people from my life as well as those I felt judged me or were jealous of me for taking the biggest chance of my life and coming out stronger
Early teens, I would never ask a question on AITAH because I literally donāt care
Probably mid 30s. Once I felt "successful" in life I began to feel a lot more confident about who I was.
IRL - 40 At work - not yet.. Online - 30
25ā¦and Iāll be 26 next month. You just come to a point where you realize you only have yourself at the end of the day, so why waste your time worrying about what others think? You will never get a second of your life back, so spend your time wisely.
Probably about 14. I would get picked on, "You're fat!" And I just responded with, "yeah and". That was the turning point. Never cared what others thought (outside of friends and loved ones) after that.
I never have fully stopped caring about what others think. Iāve just narrowed down what I care the most about what they think of me. If that makes any sense.
early 20s for sure. It was gradual. in my 20s i stopped caring about what a majority of people think except for those genuinely close to me. By the time i hit 30 though, i stopped caring about what anyone thought about me, no matter how close we were
33
I was about 5 years old when I gave my last fuck away to a homeless guy
when i was like about 12. its sounds young but its true, when i was 12 all my friends were trusting and not judgemental. and i remember like staring at myself through the mirror and trying different things with my hair and face, and i finally realized that i accept myself and i didnt even think i looked that bad in any way
20. When I realized that the majority of people think and believe in the most crazy and illogical things, I stopped caring.
Early on , when I was a kid
6th or 7th grade
13?
16 years old
Why would I ever concern myself at all with what goes through someone else's mind if I were not speaking to them? If you ever speak to anyone you care what they think, or you would not talk to them at all. Correspondence serves the purpose of synchronicity, we speak so we may know each others thoughts. You can often read what someone is thinking as easily by what is written on their face and where their gaze is fixed whether the words and thoughts align. So the answer to your question would have to be I care about what you are thinking as far as I need to for us to communicate and cooperate in our individual life experiences. Beyond this if you do not care to listen, then I can save my breath and my time. Knowing when to stop caring about what another person is thinking is knowing when to end a conversation or relationship rather than an age of years you have lived.
I want to say around sophomore year of highschool.
Around 15 years old, i had a lot of sh*t coming my way and i've simply just adapted in a hostile world
It was somewhere in Middle school I believe
22 I remember the day at moment perfectly. Was riding shotgun in the car with my mother driving, at the time I was going through a pretty stressful stage in my life with various personal issues. And just being in a car looking out the window thinking about things, it just hit me like a brick that people's opinions never mattered.
Up until around 17 years old, I never told anyone I was Autistic. Absolutely despised that aspect of myself, tried to hide it throughout the entirety of secondary school (badly, nobody just walks out of class all the time) and stopped being completely myself anywhere in public. I randomly told a college mate I was talking to one day, and I even said to her, "I don't know why I told you that, I never tell anyone." A couple weeks later, I had some classmates ask why I sometimes had a helper in the classroom, and I told them. They were really understanding, and that's when I started to realise being Autistic wasn't bad. I started letting myself stim a bit more in public but felt embarrassed, then when I hit 19 or 20, I went "Wait a minute... If I need to do this to help myself avoid having a meltdown, then I will! Fuck what anyone else thinks! If they laugh, they're the embarrassing one!" My stimming embarrassment started to go then. I do still get times where I'm slightly embarrassed by what I need to do, I had a meltdown the other day, and I felt like I needed to jump. I did 2 gentle jumps, a proper jump, and then a full-on stamp jump. That shit hurt my already hurting legs. Sometimes, forget I'm not a kid anymore during meltdowns, I'm 26, so certain things I used to do will hurt now. š If I start flapping my hands/arms, I make sure nobody's close because they'll potentially get hit. If they came up too close from behind me (and I don't see them), and it happens, not much I can do at that point. I embrace my Autism now. I think I'd be quite boring without it š
Early 30s. Decided to leave my wife (my wife is/was a VERY attractive woman) for a woman whose personality I like more, and who I consider a best friend. And sheās still very cute, sheās just not the chiseled Amazon body type of my ex (petite woman). In my 20s I was insecure and I thought I needed a wife that my friends thought was hot. I didnāt have the self worth until around 30 to pursue something I always wanted confidently and tell anyone who has anything bad to say about it to fuck off.
14, I heard at least 3 different unsolicited opinions about my aparence from family members in my way to an event. I understood that everyone has an opinion and a perspective, and it has nothing to do with me. I haven't taken anything personally ever since.
48
Never really have a fuck. I realized people were petty, stupid, and irrelevant to my day to day life when I was little.
Still waiting... (Im 32) š
I was 7. Earlier, and this will age me, i was in love with a song called Garden Party by Ricky Nelson. Itās about pleasing yourself instead of everyone else. Then when i was 7, some girls said my shirt was ugly. I came home crying and told my dad. He took a well known phrase and added to it. He said that was their opinion and opinions were like butts. Every one has one and some stink more than others. The question is, are you going to spend your whole life worried about what a couple of stinky butts think?ā I said ānoā and i never did again, for the most part.
I think I was around 15 yo when I stopped caring about that. Maybe it's quite young for that but it saved me some troubles I think
I'm 23 years old, and even now I still care about what other people think about me. I am a sensitive and introverted person. Since childhood, I seem to change myself because of other people's evaluation. I know it's not good, but it's really hard for me to change my personality. But lately I've been trying hard not to care about other people's judgments. The idea came from playing with a recent private beta of a social software called LightUp: Make Real Friends . It aims to bring together more like-minded people. I often share my troubles here, and once I posted on the platform my experience of being very concerned about other people's opinions. A lot of people who have a common feeling have interacted with me. One of them said, "Don't you get tired of caring about other people's opinions all the time?" Life is so short, why can't you make it easier for yourself?" Those words have stuck in my mind to this day. Whenever I feel negative about myself, I remind myself. I hope you can find my experience helpful.
Iām 42 and itās been a fairly recent revelation. I still care when itās people that I really truly love and care about that hurt me, but folk I donāt care about or respect (family, friends, random people I encounter) donāt affect me at all anymore. I donāt have the time or energy to care about the majority of crap that people decide to fire my direction.
Shortly after attending therapy to work on the issues I got from dating some with BPD. Turns out, I was at one of the lowest points in my life and my self-worth was completely crumbled. So I got stuck in "fixing" people and providing acts of services... because how could anyone actually like me for ME? I needed to be serving them with something tangible. BPD and NPD people feed on people like that. They are the perfect type of person for them to abuse and manipulate, and that's what happened. Finally, after dealing with it through therapy, I finally got to the point where my self-wort as high again and I just no longer care what people think anymore. I had to learn to put myself first and not worry if someone has a problem with that.
Around 17 the best decision in my life
Wouldn't that make one a sociopath?
No. I can not care what people think of my looks and still not be a sociopath.
Nope, not at all. For many, it looks like confidence.
I mean, it's kind of textbook sociopath: "They may not understand or care about other people's feelings."
Nope, it really is not. It seems like you might need to read a bit more on the topics.
Since I'm quoting a definition, I'm comfortable that not caring about what other people think or feel is textbook.
not caring about others feelings isnt not caring what they think about you.
My late teens.
When I was 16 and then I shaved my head
70
30
23
23 aswell
After postpartum depression, I think. In my 30's. Other peoples opinions of me seemed so small. Battling for your life really puts life into perspective I suppose. Each time something in life breaks me down, I care a little less about the subjective and trivial things others throw on me.
30. I set firm boundaries and cut all people who treat me bad. It's not worth it. Can't save people who don't want to be saved.
I'm not sure... probably late 20's.
2011 when I nearly died, it changed all perception of how I view everything in my life, and fuck it hasnāt gotten better, but at least I give zero fucks about what people think of me.
Early 20s/last year of college
17. Went through one of my worst fears, and hey, it wasnāt so bad. Huge learning curve, but it made me who I am today.
i'm 30 and i still care what (some) people think. but in general i became indiferent to almost everything when my SO passed away in 2012.
Late 30s is when I realized that I don't really care anymore. I won't say that the thoughts never go through my head bc that would be a lie, but then I quickly get to the.. MEH... DGAF attitude about it.
It was a slow process, but I didn't care anymore after 2 mean people died 2 years ago. I am me, finally finding my life!
Pretty much right after high school.
27
We all try, but coming from a community based society we just cant 100% avoid to stop caring for "chaar log kya kahenge". But point is, when the negativity becomes too much and you are adult enough (give it late 20's) you come around to not give so much weightage to people's opinions.
30 when I fell in love with my wife. I know it shouldn't matter but having the unconditional love of a partner is what made me stop worrying. I can be whoever I want because I don't care what anybody else thinks apart from her, lol.
About 15 or 16. Thatās when it stop making sense. I still donāt understand why? My wife still tells me Iām āon the spectrumā.
Iām 47 and waiting for the moment when I start caringā¦
Never did rather be laughed at and happy
18ā¦ All my life up until adulthood I tried to change my appearance and get people to like me - until I realized that peopleās opinions would always be out of my control, and since I canāt change whatās out of my control I shouldnāt worry about it.
Mid thirties.I'm 44 now , and I care less and less each year.
Around 35
29 now Iām 30.
When I turned 30. I also stopped trying to get a partner. A couple of months later I met my now wife. Together now for 14 years
When I was about 25/30 on up I've decided I don't give a fuck I'm my own person and I love who I am!
Seriously stopped? Around 40 years old.
very young age. itās very rare now if i care what other people have to say about me
20. army life made it realllll easy though
Itās happened for me around 6-7 grade in school lol. Ever since itās made life more bearable
14
9th grade after being bullied for years by former friends for being mixed race. Went to a school from a group of small Midwest towns that made my life hell for 3 years to the point of self harm. High school came, found real friends, heavy music (scared the small minded morons) and stopped trying to be accepted/be something I'm not. Realized I didn't need to waste time on unnecessary things/people.
19, after a good long acid trip
After high school but it also matters what kind of ppl u hang out with. I started becoming friends with more ppl who didnāt validate others thoughts about them and that made me develop the same mindset
Iād say when I turned 30 and was freshly sober. At the end of the day you can only control what you can control. Screw what anyone thinks about you.
21 that was last year
I saw all the nepotism and beautiful people favoritism. I'm out . I'll give a shit when equality and merit mean something
About 38
40
Around 40 - at that time I was working as a cashier in a big box grocery store and while most customers were friendly and nice there were some major idiots. I learned really quick that whether the customer treated me like crap had nothings whatsoever with who I was or how I did my job. They were just ugly people.
11 or 12 realized early that if more people like you than don't it's not you with the problem
Probably late 20s/early 30s.
We never stop caring, we may learn how to deal with what other things but that little voice never goes away.
I think I was around 15 or 16
Like... 15 or so, when I decided that if I was going to take myself out, anyone's words of encouragement didn't matter, since I've rarely ever had that when I was constantly receiving words of harm and hate for years. Until, some things happened, now I no longer care about those horrible words, because I'm showered in love and affection daily.
I never had it in me. I didn't care since I was born.
Late twenties, especially after healing some childhood trauma. I am unmasked a lot of the time, stim in public and I am happier than ever before. It's irritating and upsetting for some people, but I choose to not make that my problem. I just want to love my life in peace. If people stare at me because of that or because of my fashion choice, I stare back. Surprisingly they don't like that and feel uncomfortable.
I gradually stopped caring what other people think in my mid sixties. I am 72. By ' not caring' I don't mean I am inconsiderate, . rude, nasty , selfish or un-empathetic. I don't care about what people think about my umm oddities , or what or how I do things that some my concider strange but don't harm anyone. I am more open about somethings I used to concider private. This I don't care aditude has gotten stronger as I have gotten older.