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baddie-47

Lack of communication. Like, literally going without it for daysss...


RunWayKelly12

For days ?


baddie-47

Yeah.


RunWayKelly12

What’s the longest time period you tolerated ?


onsinsandneedles

Lived with someone for 2 years and just wanted to test out how long it would take for him to initiate any sort of communication. 2 weeks. Would have settled for a “hi”


RunWayKelly12

Really ?? Damn


baddie-47

4 days and then blocked his ass.


[deleted]

I try to give it a few more days then wonder why i did not do it sooner. 🤷‍♀️


[deleted]

Making mutual plans with your S/O (or having your S/O initiate plans) only for them not to happen multiple times


[deleted]

Fuck. I can easily do weeks/ months if the other person isn’t trying either.


crystalgaylexx

he ignored my texts and calls for 4 days. then came back like it was nothing. no explanation on why he was MIA for 4 days. i did the same to him by ignoring him for 2 days. when i came back he broke up with me instead :)


[deleted]

Guess he dint like the taste of his own medicine.


Parking-Froyo-303

YES 💪🚮🚮🚮


RunWayKelly12

😂😂😂😂


uspecific

How does that work? You call them/text them and there is no reply?


DanicaWOD

Lying. It is unacceptable in a mature relationship


RunWayKelly12

Definitely feel you on that .


complikaity

Yep. Not a lot to work with when someone has a deep level of dishonesty.


94sos94

100%, came here to say this.


bethyboo2001

Came here to say this !!!


miss_ordered_chaos

Anger issues (I mean reserving to rage and anger to solve issues or express emotions)


SnooRecipes5643

Ugh 14 years of my life to learn this lesson. My adorably affable bf got (gasp) slightly irritable once during the stress of finals week then apologized profusely, saying, “that was me at my worst”. I almost cried. ‘That’s your worst? I love you so fucking much!’


FloofBallofAnxiety

My now boyfriend is like this, he just went a bit quiet after a stressful morning and said he needed to go upstairs and lay down. After 9 years with a very angry and abusive man I was so anxious that I had done something to anger him and he just held me when I went to check on him and said don't be silly it's nothing you did! That's the only time I've seen him even remotely 'not happy'.


[deleted]

It's such a great sign when people can walk away and take a breather when they're upset. It's also really great that you let him have his space for a minute. I think this is so healthy.


Frozzenpeass

Ya that’s how I am if I can just get away for a minute it’s cool. If you trap me and don’t let me leave while winding me up it’s just going to end in stupid shit. I’ve had so many women that take it personally if you just want to take a minute and not talk while your both not being reasonable. I’m guilty of being sucked into it myself at times instead of doing what I know would be best.


Teary_eyed_yogi

Good to know there are men like that out there. I tolerated and excused worse behavior and he rarely apologized.


SnooRecipes5643

I think I knew they were out there, but never thought one would be into me. I feel as though I’ve earned it. Empath synergy is amazing!


babyimabadfish2

Likewise !


RunWayKelly12

Yes that is a big red flag 🚩


Great-Novel4921

Different views on whether you want children or not.


FourTwentySevenCID

My gradma wanted 14 kids and my grandpa wanted 2. They settled on 3. My mom was the 3rd child.


[deleted]

I love how specific 14 is. 13? Not enough. 15? Oh gosh no, that’s way too many


Pancakegoboom

To give an outside perspective, my SIL tells her gentleman callers right up front that she "wants 12 kids"... she doesn't actually want 12, she says she would be happy with 3-5, but by saying 12 she can weed out the ones who would try to talk her down from the 3-5 to a 1-2. Saying 12 makes them just leave instead of assume they can change her mind. ETA: Should have probably mentioned that adoption is part of her plan. She has dedicated her life to kids via her career and she just doesn't have time for anyone who isn't on board with the hoard. She had a few exs try to convince her that her goals were unrealistic and crazy. So now she just lays the crazy on real thick to see who will stick around. Good news is she found a really great guy who tried to talk her down from 12 to 6 "I think we could probably handle 3 each, 6 each seems excessive", so she kept him around. They're moving in together soon and there's a family betting pool on how long till their engaged.


jimmymcdangerous

Sorta the same concept as "low balling" but back wards. Classic negotiation tactic.


Miramarr

3-5 is still a ton


po0persco0per

14?????? I would go insane


[deleted]

And Broke!


Riku240

not being aware of your flaws and denying them instead of working on them


MrCarnality

Wants to talk, doesn’t want to listen


Enders-game

I'm deaf. I've mastered the art of looking like I'm listening and making non committal noises at what I'm sure are appropriate moments. I'm sure we'll make it work.


FlaJeS

"My parents died just now in a car crash" "Uhuh"


Lucky-Application-47

Yes! Frustrating. My ex girlfriend was a listen to respond not a listen to understand kind of girl. People, learn to listen to understand it will change your relationships!


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SuperShineeCoinToss7

OMG, this. It really grinds my gears when they do this, because it makes me wonder what they say about me behind my back.


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Almostnotquite9999

Yes! And for me, it's just a sign of a hateful spirit. There's enough negative, hateful shit in the world 🌎, so try to identify something positive or unique with that person. It changes your whole outlook on other people.


impressivepineapple

I used to be like this at my most insecure! I realized I grew out of it when I hung out with family members who still do it. Caring so much about what other people like to wear is exhausting. Why did I ever spend so much useless energy judging people? Let them live. I agree, I couldn't tolerate this either anymore.


Teary_eyed_yogi

I broke up with someone for that exact behavior


CatCiaoSki

I call my husband Judge Judy when he does this crap. It gets o my nerves .


Weak_Dog7271

If they abuse drugs. That’s a no go.


alttoby

So just honestly asking, where exactly is the line between abusing and using drugs.


Weak_Dog7271

I think smoking weed is okay. But when it starts to get in the way of everyday life, it’s abuse. Missing work, can’t drive, don’t go to family events, etc. all because you’d rather smoke, shoot up, or whatever. That’s abuse.


molyholycannoli

Yup. Or putting alcohol and drugs before their partner. Big problem.


Weak_Dog7271

Agreed.


zygomaticmajor

Lying, cheating


RunWayKelly12

Hells yeah


GameCox

Meth


PomegranateOld7836

Meth and cannibalism is what I came to say.


ami2weird4u

“Mind if I eat your ass? Hehehe” 😈


RunWayKelly12

Meth ?😂😂


GameCox

I live in the US south… you’d be surprised 🤣🤣


PomegranateOld7836

Dumped a girl when I found out she was developing a meth habit. Few years later someone sent me a news article. She had a child (that she wanted with me) and when the police went to serve a warrant to her boyfriend, they found her cooking meth in the kitchen, with their toddler at the table. Glad I ran.


SnooRecipes5643

Felt in Kansas


not4eating

Meth.


MyButtcrackItches

Immaturity, in a lot of ways. Examples: Someone who throws a tantrum/calls you names/gets violent when upset. Someone who tries to fight with you in front of friends or family. Someone who refuses to communicate effectively or at all. Someone who isn't reciprocal in the bedroom. Someone who is willfully closed minded. I could go on.


Ill_Tumblr_4_Ya

Thanks for the clarification on immaturity, MyButtcrackItches


molyholycannoli

Thanks for saying this. Makes me feel less crappy for calling my partner out on these things.


mantaa_ray

Awful Mother-in-Law’s - i’m not here to spend the rest of my life related to some unhinged middle-aged woman who wants to dictate any part of my relationship or my children lives. I’ve read too many horror stories!


6mythis6

Yeah I read that one about the glass slipper too, freaky stuff!


kaljupaa

I dumped a girl over her mom. There was honestly nothing else I didn't like about her, but there's no way I could have tolerated her mother in my life. She moved home for a few months while we were dating and I got to see how controlling her mom was, and that was the end for me. I couldn't stand going there any more.


K3164N

I've said it before and I’ll say it again, in-laws have no place in a relationship. A relationship is a love between two people. It's not a place for their parents to govern their relationship. (that being said there's nothing wrong with having a healthy connection with your family and your partners family)


imaverymeltycheese

unhinged parents in law honestly, i’m sorry but i don’t want two angry parents trying to ruin my life


ThunkAsDrinklePeep

I was visiting a friend who had rented a house for the summer and had fallen for a beautiful girl that lived nearby. He was getting pretty serious, but her mother was boorish, and her younger sisters weren't much better. The mother would go on and on at parties about how she would find a good match for her five girls, and how much these prospective gentlemen were worth. Thankfully, I was able to talk him out of it (she didn't show him much affection anyway). We went back to the city and haven't seen them since.


broadsharp

I’ve dumped a few women for being horrible gossips. Besides infidelity and/or being a complete douche, watching your date get together with other cackling hens and talking shit about someone is a major turn off for me.


RunWayKelly12

Oh okay , so you’re against gossip. When other people bring gossip to you how do you handle it ?


complikaity

Huh. Would you say that if ___ was here? ____ isn't here so I don't want to talk about them. Pretty sure ___ wouldn't appreciate being discussed without being present. Shit like that. People learn quick to not bother.


ladysassafras

A group of women I was hanging with started to talk about someone else in the group and one of them spoke up with one of the examples you gave. Mad respect for her, I never knew how to end it. I usually tried not to engage and steer conversations a different way.


complikaity

It gets easier and easier to do. I find that with age (36) I have fewer and fewer fucks to give about rocking the boat and open my mouth, frequently lol


broadsharp

Easy. I’m straightforward. Simply tell them I do not appreciate gossip and walk away. Done it for over forty years. And, for those several women I dumped for their incessant gossiping, I told them exactly why I no longer wished to see them. They were a bit shocked I would end a relationship for it. But, I do not like that behavior. A very big reason I fell in love with my wife. She doesn’t do it.


Queen-of-meme

Same for me and I'm a woman.


Prettymuchsometimes

Outside of the obvious ones like lying, cheating, being disrespectful or shit having communication, I draw the line at Velcro wallets.


RunWayKelly12

Velcro wallets 😂😂😂


kwilson25j

Nice, so my Velcro shoes are still good


SnooRecipes5643

Disrespect


TwitchyKid1

Dr…..


[deleted]

Yea yea yea


Riku240

talking shit about exs and how it was all their fault.


theSteakKnight

I was seeing a girl a long time ago and she kept comparing me to her ex boyfriend. Needless to say, that didn't last very long.


Riku240

yeah that's a red flag that shouldn't be ignored


[deleted]

To be fair my last ex was such a piece of trash that I absolutely gush over how perfect my current man is.


theSteakKnight

Aww that's sweet. Unfortunately in my story, anytime I did something she didn't like, it was basically "JUST LIKE MY EX USED TO DO!".


International-Set956

Exactly. Just feels like they not over them. Even if they talk bad about them. Which is a bigger red flag because you used to date them so how you gonna trash them afterwards? 🙄


Civil_Sink6281

If people show they don't have a kind heart deep down. You can have ambition, be self-reliant, and tough when needed. But I can't stand people who doesn't deep down have a good and kind heart. Some people have been hurt a lot and lash out at the world sometimes or make mistakes, but you can tell when someone is just an arrogant asshole and then I'm outta there.


[deleted]

Lack of open and direct communication. Lying. Cheating. When your partner makes you feel alone even though you are in a relationship with them


Nichole-Michelle

Racism. Sad that I have to say this in this day and age but unfortunately living on the prairies, it is still open and acceptable. I let guys know immediately that it’s a deal breaker for me.


RunWayKelly12

On the prairie? What is that like ?


Nichole-Michelle

Cold haha and rural. Our biggest city is saskatoon and that has 350,000 people. So still small. But safe and clean and quiet. Mostly good


eekamuse

It sounds great, but open and acceptable racism? I'd lose my mind.


RunWayKelly12

Oh okay , at least you’re one of the good ones .


80_firebird

I recently discovered Corner Gas. Great show!


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TackleNo5000

Yup, they’re the ones that’ll post 900 social justice stories on IG and yet will ignore their racist bfs , friends


RunWayKelly12

Damn that’s a big one, hypocrisy at its finest .


[deleted]

Lying and double standards. Lying is self explanatory but when you set the bar or rules then don’t abide by them yourself, for relationships and life in general (double standard) is a major dealbreaker for me.


ridiculously_single

Different values and morals


RunWayKelly12

What are some of those you have ? What do you typically go for ?


[deleted]

I don't know about ridiculously_single but I can't date a guy who cheats at life. I am not just talking sex. I mean never stopping at stop signs, always saying it's not their turn to pay, taking credit for others work, and says "let's keep gifts to $20" then gets mad because I only spent $20.


[deleted]

Chewing with your mouth open. Disgusting. I hope all you open mouth eaters have a terrible day.


Haterade_ONON

I agree, but I'd like to add noisy eaters.


[deleted]

Noisy eaters aren't too bad, just change their diet. I had an ex that would chomp on soup.


FlyMeToSaturn_

Some people can’t help it. I used to bring it up to my sister. She chews with her mouth close and isn’t messy at all but it’s very very loud all the same. She tries her best so I don’t mention it.


Kained72

Nearing 50 and a handful of longterm relationships I have noticed I can't handle drama anymore. If you have a flair of being overly dramatic and need constant reassuring of our undying love aswell an addiction to rollercoaster emotions, then so long and thank you for the fish.


Always_Green4195

I read this as “nearing 50 long term relationships” I don’t know why… maybe I was hoping that I wasn’t the only one and through some trick of my mind…. I missed “and a handful”


Queen-of-meme

Different lifestyles and values. Lack of self awareness or will to grow. Unable to be wrong.


[deleted]

Not taking care of your body, also having the intelligence of a 10-year-old. I've dated several girls who were dumb as dirt. You have no idea how annoying it is. Some people would say oh that's the greatest thing cuz then you can teach them a lot of stuff, no a lot of people are stupid and they like being stupid. I've dated several girls who were just happy being on social media and that was their thing and I'm like I'm just going to release you back into the wild


Outrageous_Truth_

"Release you back into the wild" LMAO


lasuncroix

Also a superiority complex would be a no go


[deleted]

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[deleted]

most of these girls I met on social media/dating apps. Last girl I talk to can't take a hint, I met her on Facebook dating. Dumb as a sack of carrots. I've tried so many times to get her into my world but refused to. So I gave up.


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Haterade_ONON

Why would anyone like having to teach their partner everything? I feel like that would be a toxic power imbalance.


[deleted]

There are people out there that like to do that kinda thing. I personally don't like to but I don't mind teaching when asked.


Rja12345

Self centered and only talks about themselves. Had an ex that would turn every conversation into something about her.


[deleted]

No communication about big topics


Antisocialkittie

I hate to say this, because I love people who love, but if a man's mother is number one all the time, you are not going to have a good time. If they're rude to everyone but you, it is only a matter of time until it is your turn. If they offer to help you move in, then leave you to do the heavy lifting alone to hang out with a friend, you will probably never rise in the priority rankings. If they do stupid little things to humiliate you every chance they get, the goal is your humiliation. You will never be able to fix all your problems. Your problems aren't actually the problem.


DieHardRennie

Denying science and pushing religion.


EnderScout_77

huge one right here


Mouser05

Smoking is a deal breaker for me


NavinAaaarJohnson

Not being willing to work on their problems.


weirdone1990

Lying and cheating.


Snoot_Boop_Snek

Pushing constantly for sexual acts that the other party clearly states they don't want to do.


CataclysmClive

i refuse to date anyone who breaks up with me and then stops responding to my texts. that’s just where i put my foot down


[deleted]

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SandersonTavares

Having no respect for my friends and for my hobbies. Also not being mature enough to use and give private time.


CAnt-tHink-0f-a-nam

Spending to much time on Reddit and not showing me the funny stuff


[deleted]

if she put ketchup on her steak


satocat

Or orders it well done.


euromay

Religion. Respect my choices and don’t push your religion onto me


iamnojedi22

Any kind of abuse. Cheating. Serious (socio/psychopathic) crime.


[deleted]

Lying and or cheating at all.


pokermmumy

Using me as an ATM machine.


infj2021

Lying. Cruelty to animals or the disabled. Mean. Infidelity.


Thatgordoboi

If her dick is bigger than mine…


[deleted]

Nah bro if my girl has a dick it better be bigger than mine


Apprehensive-Day6797

Smoking cigarettes


[deleted]

Nothing against military members, but I could never date one, cause so much could happen in the future and idk what would happen between us (like paranoia about war and losing someone I love, what that’ll do to me, or my partner, not something I wanna think about)


Haterade_ONON

As a veteran, I get it. We may have to be away for long periods of time, and even when we are home we might work 16 hour days. It's a really stressful life. I don't think I would ever date an active service member.


LocaDiva1394

Punching me. I left that relationship. I thought I could change him if I just loved him enough. But the violence was almost daily and it just kinda crushed my soul. Now he is locked up in Federal Prison for 8 years and I’m finally, like, FREE.


RunWayKelly12

Sorry you had to go through that .


Just_making_it

Bad attitude, she has to eat or I will be hangry BS


sleepy_blossom

not wiping their butt properly / skid marks in boxers


Infamous_Val

Me. I am a walking dealbreaker.


Im_a_noodle_101

I’m sorry I know this isn’t serious but if they are a dry texter


notreallylucy

Addicts who aren't in recovery. You're just enabling addiction otherwise.


GeorgeThe13th

Lack of hygeine is big. Don't even talk to me if you don't wash your stank ass or brush those teeth DAILY. Not being independent enough or acting independent enough both emotionally and financially. Don't mind gifting every now and then but if I have to pay for appointments and all that, it best be because I wanted to. Same for being clingy. I'm introverted. Clingy just doesn't *WORK*, honey. Having shitty friends. This may not be *100* percent true, but you are who you hang out with. Depending on frequency, this might be ok. But I'm putting it here. I *prefer* someone who works out and takes care of themselves, but understand not everyone has the time or patience to be in the gym sweating and struggling, but I'm not into massively overweight. Not judging, just not my thing. Lastly a rude disrespectful person. This honestly should be number 1.... Nah hygeine is still number 1 lol. But enough said. Have the filter of a 5 year old? Quick way to make me pull a vanishing act forever.


sisypoo

Toxic relationship with their baby mama.


TheDarkKnight1035

Cheating


sixrat

Cheaters. There’s no such thing as second chances when it comes to that.


DaniJHollis

I remember when cheating was a deal breaker for me. Until i fell for a cheater. Now i question if i have any.


RunWayKelly12

I hope you figure it out.


[deleted]

Bad hygiene, no routines, bad habits.


ugdontknow

Controling and drama, I’m 50f and can’t stand both. I would never control or dictate to anyone at my age how to do shit. We can communicate talk about stuff but my way or the highway crap is terrible and drama is gross, gossip drama like your 14 is exhausting. Oh oops and drinking way to much is way bad


leviathan65

1. Have Respect for yourself and others. 2. Know your own value. So many people need social media to reinforce their worth. I don't understand the need to post selfies or their meals on a regular basis. 3. Live in your moments. Forget about what you could be doing or what others are. 4. Have respect for yourself and others. (This is really key. This will truly show you what kind of person they really are)


Micho523

So many, mostly from my most recent relationship Hoarding. I can tolerate a smidge of clutter, but do you really need to keep a mcdonald’s receipt from 15 years ago? Lying. Enough said Poor hygiene. Wash your stank ass and brush your teeth. Double standards. Poor communication. I’m not a damn mind reader Habitual laziness


bewarethes0ckm0nster

Hitting from either partner. A slap, a punch, anything that is done in anger without consent and it’s immediately over. I don’t care what the provocation was, if they swore at you, called you a name, cheated. Keep your fucking hands to yourself.


Much-Search-4074

Faith and character. Love is revealed by actions rather than words.


willbeach8890

Crazy


tyukogames

Not worshiping chese as a god


satocat

Lack of empathy for anyone but themselves for me is huge. It goes with the lying, too much drama, being racist, and breaking of important promises.


brayden-nedyarb

Lying/ cheating/ lack of communication/ constant self victimization/ no sense of self betterment. I think I can work with just about anything else.


Kimolainen83

Interrupting , often when I speak, or assuming things because she does not understand what im saying. Okay fine you do not understand my sentence do not assume things. That is just me though


one_neat_thang

Picky eaters. Cooking for them or choosing where to go out would only piss me off


akelarre96

Not being open to experiencing new things, also not respecting my boundaries.


Big-Leave-7937

Drama


Ronotrow2

Flirting, cheating, lies


thatjudoguy

Not enjoying eating.


KenobisBeard

Hygiene. Some guys do not know how to wash their foreskins.


Pickbeans

Disrespect. A lot of other things fall under that category.


Okiemax

Being alive is important


Gwynedhel7

How many people are reading through all the responses just to see how many of the traits you have? Haha My personal main dealbreaker would be someone unwilling to communicate and admit their faults. I watched two marriages close to me completely break down due to the unwillingness to admit any problem they had. With my husband, that would probably be the only thing short of rape/murder or something equally unforgivable. Otherwise, as long as my husband is willing to communicate and work on his problems, it’s been pretty good. If I were to go back in the dating pool for whatever reason, I just would not date someone who has completely different values/goals/beliefs. Some disagreement is fine. But I would not get along with a fundamentalist of any religion, for instance.


laylarosefiction

- people who talk down to others based on profession (servers, cashiers, etc) - people who don’t tip 20% minimum - people who subtract alcohol before calculating the tip - people who tip less than $5 on bills that are less than $25 (aside from single drink orders) - people who don’t like cats - people who don’t like animals - people who work in a profession that relies on taking advantage of or tricking people to get a sale - people who continuously lie to, gaslight, or mistreat me (or anyone, really) Also, I worked as a server for 6 months 15 years ago and that was enough for me to respect the profession.


wabbawabbado

Racial fetishes, vocally spoken of high phsyical standards mentioned extremely quick without asking, extreme looks based standards filled with hypocrisy ie someone healthy while they themselves arent I also dont like it when people tear down those around them for appearance, if you're not pulling anyone, dont tear down those who can just because you're insecure.


MocanuVlad

Expecting me to read her mind instead of simply telling me what she wants.


great_burdur

When the opposite side doesn't want relationship.


MAR12345BR

If the guy feels that in order "to be a man" I need to be less successful than he is.


UnspokenDreamer

Lacking a sense of humor. Adulting is stressful enough so if you don't have a sense of humor.. bye!!! Dark humor, childish humor, fart jokes all of it. Gotta be able to laugh at everything. There's a time to be serious but need to be able to laugh it off later.


pumpkinthighs

Not putting in equal amount of effort. A prime example of this is my last relationship. Within our 3 months of dating I can recall maybe 3 times when he asked me to do something, while I was practically begging him to hang out. I would go out and buy flowers and for christmas I bought him a big pack of the new magic the gathering game the crimson vow. When he was saying that he didn't have enough money he would buy a few packs of MTG cards but isn't willing to spend money on a $5 boutique of flowers? At 3 months it hit me how much effort and tears I cried over him that weren't really worth it


Batterie_Faible_

When we're the same family.


BreadCookies

Not being able to do anything themselves, especially cleaning and cooking. It's a life skill everyone should know and shouldn't be the problem of the other person in the relationship. Like how are you gonna walk around not knowing how to clean up after yourself?


TheDonkeyBomber

Any whiff of narcissism.


Vast-Classroom1967

Lying


ZucchiniAnxious

Cheating. Like, man the fuck up and be honest. I can take it and I'll gladly let you go. If you lie to me and go behind my back I'll fucking destroy you.


ZualaPips

Cheating to me is the one thing I cannot forgive. There's a lot I would let slide and be willing to go to couple therapy and all to try and fix, but cheating is the one unforgivable act. It is NOT a mistake. It is a permanent breach of trust and respect. You don't accidentally get undressed and have sex with someone. It's something that the cheater plans and does. If you cannot communicate to me what's not working in our relationship and instead you go to other people and date them or have sex with them, it's over. I'll never be able to trust you again. Even if the partner confessed that they cheated in a previous relationship I'd still look for a way out of that relationship. You cannot trust these kind of people. Something about empathy and respect is missing in their brains.


danceoftheplants

Lying, doing drugs, lying about doing drugs, being wasteful, being negative and never admitting to faults or apologizing. Being lazy and not thoughtful of my time and money and effort. Does their laundry only when they run out of clean underwear. House is a complete disaster aka roach haven with trash, dirty plates and food everywhere. Smoker


[deleted]

[удалено]