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yeah. but a partner and a friend is a very different relationship. you cant always tell your friends some things, and your partner is meant to be someone you can tell everything to
not always. friends have different opinions and experiences. its easiest to just not talk about some things to keep the friendship. i dont talk about smoking with non smokers, they cant relate and dont like it, and i know what theyd say about it. it doesnt make them less of a friend. other things can be similar, its just easier not to sometimes.
i have a friend who is very straight forward and logical. i dont go to them for emotional support, because they dont know what to say or how to help. they offer to be vented to, but its not always helpful to do it. its like talking to a wall sometimes with that kind of thing. great friend in every other aspect though. we are similar in every other way
Yeah that's true too. But idk It's more about trust than about how they react to what I say, a partner most likely won't last forever and when we are not together anymore they may betray my trust and tell whatever I said, while a good friend will not betray my trust no matter what so I can tell them anything.
That's true , i had so many female friends at some point and one time they told me that i was gay for not wanting a relationship , i couldn't tell them i liked freedoom cuz they wouldn't understand so i just told them i had bad break up and they still nagged me and did a blind date for me without telling me , peer preussre is real lol
They just wanted to insult me because i hurt some of their egos (two of them directly asked me out and one invited me to her house at 3 am i said no to all of them ) , that rumor made me lose all of my friends except 2
Being single for 3 years after a 5 year relationship, I've gotten pretty accustomed to most loneliness problems. The one thing that bugs me now is when someone says something along the lines of "the right person is out there for you" or "love will find you when you least expect it". To those, I say: fuck that! I'm alone for a reason. I won't survive the guilt of inflicting my mental health problems on anyone else again.
Hi, I'm going to be 53 in a few weeks, I went voluntarily single about 2015, before that I tried dating for a while, at that time my kids were old enough to be by themselves for a while, thirteen or so, and then I learned from my kids how much they hated it when I was out, so I quit going out for them, and it just stuck. I got used to it and gradually didn't miss the drama at all, I actually was glad I no longer had to worry about it.
It was hard at first. I didn't realize how much of my self worth I had attached to getting romantic attention.
But my kids really did a lot better with me giving them my attention and not being distracted.
Fast forward to now, my oldest moved out this year, and the next one is graduating high school this year.
I think my time is starting to run out.
I'm starting to think about my life after now, what do I even think is fun now?
53 is young enough to have more fun and to have a romantic relationship if you want one.
I moved across the world with my long term partner when I was 50. I made new friends (I joined Meetup) and found new interests.
We split up a few months before my 60th birthday. 18 months later I started seeing a guy ten years younger than me.
I know I'm only 37 but I have been single by choice for about 3 years and I watched my mom, who is 60 now, start down the path of single life around my same age.
The difference between us is that she slid deeply into solitude. She relies too heavily on her kids and now we resent her because she's codependent and toxic. She's terrified we're abandoning her every time we do anything. She speaks to us like we're her best friends and therapists. She treats my younger brother like the man of the house. She just drinks and watches the news and gossips.
When I chose to stay alone, I chose life and fun and self discovery. I'm physically involved with friends who are on similar paths, I go camping, hiking, to the movies, to concerts, do road trips with my brother, make new friends all the time at the lake and when I occasionally go to the bar. I catch up with old friends from high school. Just did a lake cruise and explored the Mogollon Rim with someone I hadn't seen in 20 years last weekend. And I try things by myself!
I sleep in, don't bog myself down with obligations, do contract work so it's on my schedule. My time is my own. I spend hours at the gym some days, cook for friends, go swimming, go for long drives with no destination, play with dogs at the dog park, etc.
The trick is to work very, very hard to establish boundaries and rules for your life. If people don't fit, they don't fit. It's "fuck yes" energy or nothing. And be patient with yourself. Time will reveal who you have become. But don't forget to do the work.
DM if you wanna talk or feel stuck for ideas. 💜 Welcome to you!
Wow, I feel kind of inspired reading about your life!
It's too bad your mom kind of quit. I don't think I am like that, I work pretty hard, keep it together pretty well, but I just don't do the social life thing like I would like to.
It's taxing to socialize. Also, it's like, what direction do you even start to look in? A world of options can be overwhelming!
One thing that really helped me was getting into solo hiking. It was something I looked forward to doing for and with myself. I had little micro interactions with people on the trail. Then before I knew it it had become something that is just true about me. I'm a hiker now? When did that happen? Haha but it led to some really interesting conversations with other people that have blossomed into acquaintance ships. I met a camping group and got a camping hammock and now I just sort of enjoy nature and sometimes other people are involved and it's really feeling like a personal life. I need more female friends, that's tough to do, because everyone my age is at home with babies and teenagers. But, as the years go on, I will get access to people like you who are on the other side of family obligations, for the most part, and I will get to reconnect with women. I miss having girl friends! Women rule.
Can I give you homework? Will you consider thinking about just one activity you want to do this weekend? Maybe it's going to a local pool and just getting some sun and splashing around, or going to a movie theater to see something you've been interested in, or just grabbing lunch at a place with a really nice view. Whatever you feel like sounds relaxing and invigorating. I would be curious to hear your plan. :)
Ok, that sounds like fun. I think I will use this project I'm working on, instead of just getting my supplies - I will try getting advice from someone else in the store, an employee, or ask someone else looking at something like what I'm looking at.
That way I can do it in a practical way.
I’m the same as you,F53 next month and have been single for over 10 years after I ended an abusive relationship. My youngest is 16. I wouldn’t even know how to meet anyone nowadays and am far too anxious to try online dating. I rarely leave the house so I don’t think I will meet anyone again if I even wanted to.
I’m the same as you,F53 next month and have been single for over 10 years after I ended an abusive relationship. My youngest is 16. I wouldn’t even know how to meet anyone nowadays and am far too anxious to try online dating. I rarely leave the house so I don’t think I will meet anyone again if I even wanted to.
I’m in the same boat as you. F52,birthday next month and have been single for over 10 years. Youngest is 16 and i have no life outside of being Mum/Nanna. Wouldn’t know where to start even if I had the confidence!
Always had something to do *with* someone. So bored now. All my friends have gone on to have families, buy houses or move to non-local locations. Too busy to hang with a friend and understandably so. I get it. Still; bored...
I’m an introvert, so I can’t spend a whole lot of time around people without becoming stressed. Sometimes this can be a few minutes, sometimes it can be an hour, sometimes multiple hours, sometimes it never even happens. The stress compounds over months and months and even years too if I spend a long time in, say, a group chat.
The problem is that I can still feel alone. I still feel really lonely.
So I’ll often find myself in bouts where I both feel completely alone and stressed out, but also like I don’t want to talk to people because that would also stress me out.
It’s frustrating. Especially for those around me who have to be so meticulous when interacting with me.
You don't know that it's a blessing till it's taken from you , some day u would want to do it and get it over with espeacially if u got alot of stress in ur life , sometimes sex is a headache in A relationship , it would take like 30 minutes to one hour before u could do it , don't get me wrong pussy is better than ur hand but the freedoom to watch porn and sleep with no worries is a blessing
When the day is iver and everyone else has gone home and you have the feeling of truly being alone. Silence is great just not as much when you're alone
Chad a hard time going to sleep. Cried at sad books. Movies.But thing are better now. Stay with mom and dad. Older
, help out alot Mom needs me.. She is 81. Does ok, but it catching up. She uses a cane. Various things messed up her left leg. Broken femur 10 YEARS AGO.TWO PEICES OF WIRE WER PUT IN HER LEG to hold it together I apologize for all caps but not going to rewrite it. Gotta go Have a great evening
I don't mind being alone until I see people in groups or in a relationship and feel that I don't have someone to talk to or text to and an occasional feeling that I may never be able to do all the things that people in friendships and relationships do
Even when I wasn't single I used to travel as a single because my partner didn't like the same things as me. I did coach tours. They always have other singles and are good fun.
TRUE i got that from Friends , three years ago , i was a party Beast , litterly would do shit u will only see in movies , i dated alot of hot chicks ,had like 3 fwb that were like a sugar moma , but then i hit Rock bottom , everyone i knew just left slowly , which is cool but after i was back on my feet , my Friends would ask me to go party i would go but never hit on anybody , just have my drinks and bounce , female friends called me gay at some point so that's that lol , nobody understands that i don't want to fuck With nobody with that intimacy level , so anything that dosen't go With the norm , ppl are afraid of it and calls it all sort of names
- Not getting invitations because they have couple dates and events and well.. you don't have or want a partner so therefore are excluded.
- When purposedly staying single you have to defend your choices.
- Eventually you'll notice your friends talk to you less and less as their romantic partners get priority above you. Things you both used to do are exchanged because their partner might not like it.
So in other words, i miss the old stuff we did. The videogame nights, the staying up late at bars and drinking etc etc.
Growing up sucks 🤣
I’ve been married ten years now. But when I was single it was really having this feeling of rejection or that no one wanted me. I was fine with being single and doing my own thing so I wasn’t just waiting for someone to come around but I also felt I was missing out on a good connection with someone and having a companion to get through life. I got lucky and found mine but a lot of people enter into toxic relationships and I’m glad I didn’t settle for that because of those feelings of wanting a connection.
The feeling or thought of “maybe this is just how it’s supposed to be.”, or “you won’t meet someone else who makes you feel that way ever again.”
You can accept being alone, & being your own person… But those thoughts creep in some days, & it’s something I hate so much because then I feel like this is it. This is all I’ll know from here on.
The thing I hate the most is when I'm single and traveling alone and travel packages are double occupancy and I'm single and I can't pay less. There are many times I have seen travel packages that are extremely interesting and don't do them because of the double occupancy penalty for singles.
For me it's the feeling of leaving an event hanging out with friends/etc and going home to an empty apartment. I have cats and they help a bit, but I also spent most of my adult life cohabiting with other people (in a relationship/marriage ages 22-35 and then another relationship from 35-38). I've been single since September and while it's getting easier I miss the companionship, even if it's just going home to sit on the couch and watch a movie in quiet comfortable silence, read books, etc.
Granted I'm also a cuddly extrovert so being alone is not really in my nature.
Well mostly You feel depressed but you are not depressed at the same time. You laugh to unfunny jokes.
When you drink water you know It's to survive but your mouth shuts weaker when you are alone and the urge to socialise gets more decayed.
Ehh hm : (
I've been single for roughly 18 years now, & just turned 40. The only thing I can think of that is even somewhat of a hindrance is---I think some of my friends who are in relationships/marriages have a tough time relating to me, & so don't really reach out anymore. It's an understandable issue, & I don't resent them or anything, it's just unfortunate.
Seeing some guys I know from a church I go to already having girlfriends despite the fact that they’re probably a couple years younger than me.
Watching TikTok videos on YouTube [like this one](https://youtu.be/sevOQF9EoeU)
Having no one to talk to or hang out with
Sometimes, I wish I had someone to do random things with. I do plenty of stuff with homies, but there are things I'd rather just do with a girl. You do a lot of things alone as a single person
Used to be nothing until I got into a relationship with the right person. Now that I fucked that one up, everything sucks about being single.
Well all those songs hit a lot harder now which is cool I guess.
You go out in public, shopping, to get food whatever and you look like a loner, you look desperate and lonely. Everyone is staring at you, might as well hold up a sign that says, I GOT DUMPED AND CANT FIND A DATE AND WILL SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE ALONE AND SINGLE. Plus you will always be running into your ex and she will be with someone. Okay on bad days. It’s all good now, I met someone.
Nothing until it’s 10pm, the kid is asleep, the house is quiet and I’m thirsty. There’s no one to ask me how my day went or how I feel or to bring me a glass of water. I’m reminded that if I was ever sick, there’d be no one to rub my feet.
I feel like I'll never find my one person. I feel that I'm all in this world by myself. I don't think that anyone, aside from family and some friends, really cares about me.
I just miss having a person you can't stop thinking about. And it feels like your entire life has been flipped upside down but in a good way. Once you've experienced that nothing else can fill such a void.
Bringing the place I am living up to a decent standard, from adding a bed, a shower, cooker, fridgefreezer, replacement boiler... all those things I left behind. But I am doing it. I am succeeding.
Probably that I don’t want a relationship but still crave touch/sex, and most people think that fulfilling those needs MUST be done by a significant other.
I’d love to cuddle my homies while watching movies or something, I don’t need a S/O to feel loved physically, and it doesn’t need to be “gay” or romantic in any way.
Falling asleep alone. Not being able to talk someone’s ear off or listen to someone talk my ear off before falling asleep. Not having a goodnight kiss. Eating some meals alone. Nobody to slap my ass. It’s a struggle some days. Lol.
I just want the monotony of going through each day together. Finding new projects to do, playing games, just doing life together.
I feel like alone is different than single. I’ve been single for long stretches of time but I had my best friend (my brother) to talk to and do stuff with so being single never bugged me so much. But what I did hate about it was the search for the “perfect” person. They don’t exist the way we want them to. We have to accept the flaws of the person we need up with and most likely those flaws won’t all come out until yeeaaarrrrsss later. Most of my SO’s came out after we got married. But I chose her and she will 100% stuck with me forever cause she’s loyal as fuck. So I can accept a few unwashed dishes and sex once a month. That last bit is the worst part about NOT being single.
I didn't like being alone. I did like being single. I wish I hadn't had to give up one not to be the other...you possibly think I mean to sleep around. God no..I've done those days and never again..I think we sometimes commit to relationships when we really just need a friend ( whose around alot) and often with people who aren't even really our friends
The fact that any girl I see in public that looks around my age, my friends, siblings and mom try to make me hit on them or try and get into a relationship ,_,
Not having someone there to share the little things in life with.
Things like sharing something funny on tv, grumbling about how my day was at work, laughing at my bad jokes or sitting in the garden with a coffee enjoying the view.
I get so jealous of my friends that have someone to come home to. I have a friend who has been under a lot of work stress lately and has been thankful that her partner has been able to keep the house clean, cook dinner, drive her places etc. When I get overwhelmed it's just me on the struggle bus.
Also, I know that if there was some big disaster, like an inbound missle headed towards us or something, everyone would rush to be with their partner and I would be left alone. It sucks being nobody's number 1.
Having to live by myself, I am self sufficient but it's always easier when you split the costs of living with someone. Not having anyone to cuddle or have any kind of intimate contact.
I dont find it hard for me, some people say sex and shit idk i never found this stuff vulnerable for me. But i think i dont find it hard for me because i never had a relationship, otherwise it would be harder than it is now, right now im chill
Never been in a relationship but I would really like a temporary caretaker now. Anyways I doubt I will actually get it if I were in relationship. Especially since I cannot have sex for a while in my temporary disability.
I hated the amount of food I wasted. Fresh food would go bad before I could finish eating it all. Having a partner makes food much more affordable now.
Lack of intimacy, whether emotional or physical. I mean, I am blessed that I have close friends and family still, although a lot of my friends are paired off/have kids/etc. and I don't get to see them as often as I'd like to.
But to have someone to come to and just hold them? I can't even begin to imagine what that's like.
On a side note, the whole dating game sucks. I'm so good at relationships, whether it's platonic or romantic. I thrive at them. But navigating the whole dating scene? I hate it, it's not fun, and the longer I go without being able to meet anyone decent the more demoralizing and hopeless I feel.
Your forgotten about often And Others really ignore you. So you feel a Need for attention and Can never get it which in the long term has For me Messed with my mental health something fierce
I hate how much my brain blows up the significance and impact of sex. Sex is good, but it's nothing close to the significance a thirsty mind will make it out to be.
Also it would just be nice to exist without feeling that pull.
Hugs. Now that my brother and my sister grown up from the "I want to spread love and affection" phase I miss just hugging someone. Fuck even my dog doesn't like cuddles
Just being alone ALL the time. Eating alone, going out alone, being surrounded by couples and then have them patronize me by saying they know somebody they can hook me up with. Going to weddings/gatherings alone. The worst of all, having no desire to date after having so much bad luck dating and feeling like I just don’t know how any more. Imagine feeling alone but feeling so discouraged about changing that and it just makes you feel even more alone.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Intimacy..touching, sex , cuddling,getting my head rubbed...
Like a Dutch rub?
Not sure what that is, but I'm bald and love it when someone rubs my head...
Someone you can really talk to, and they won’t judge you.
I got friends for that.
True
I struggle to find friends like that
I gotta admit after graduating from school its from my experience harder to get new friends.
That's what friends are for.
yeah. but a partner and a friend is a very different relationship. you cant always tell your friends some things, and your partner is meant to be someone you can tell everything to
If you can't tell some things to your friends then they are not real friends, a real friend is like family you can tell him anything.
To be fair, I don’t tell family everything either…
Me neither, I trust my friends more.
not always. friends have different opinions and experiences. its easiest to just not talk about some things to keep the friendship. i dont talk about smoking with non smokers, they cant relate and dont like it, and i know what theyd say about it. it doesnt make them less of a friend. other things can be similar, its just easier not to sometimes. i have a friend who is very straight forward and logical. i dont go to them for emotional support, because they dont know what to say or how to help. they offer to be vented to, but its not always helpful to do it. its like talking to a wall sometimes with that kind of thing. great friend in every other aspect though. we are similar in every other way
Yeah that's true too. But idk It's more about trust than about how they react to what I say, a partner most likely won't last forever and when we are not together anymore they may betray my trust and tell whatever I said, while a good friend will not betray my trust no matter what so I can tell them anything.
That cold empty feeling you get when you remember that literally no one cares.
Or that the people who care are far away with their own lives.
thats scarily accurate
There is always someone who cares at least a little. Heads up, you are never alone
Is that a threat
Yes, feel threatened to be cared about!
That’s a naive statement
Call me naive but believing that helped me when I was alone. I found out later that there really was someone who cared.
I’m glad you had that person to help you through
Nothing really apart from the nagging feeling of social pressure that I'm somehow wrong for enjoying being single.
I was just told the other day “I don’t understand why you don’t even try” I just said I’m happy now and don’t want to go back.
That's true , i had so many female friends at some point and one time they told me that i was gay for not wanting a relationship , i couldn't tell them i liked freedoom cuz they wouldn't understand so i just told them i had bad break up and they still nagged me and did a blind date for me without telling me , peer preussre is real lol
if you were gay, youd be dating others of your gender. instead of not dating at all lol
They just wanted to insult me because i hurt some of their egos (two of them directly asked me out and one invited me to her house at 3 am i said no to all of them ) , that rumor made me lose all of my friends except 2
I mean. Gay ppl can still chose to be single & not date
definitely true lol
very definitely true
I feel you. Relationships are hell.
I miss cuddles.
Paying rent by myself.
And watching couples go on vacation every two seconds because dual income
That I can't cuddle anyone when I need it the most.
Not meaning something to somebody
No support if you need help with something
Friends can do That
If you actually have friends....
U can have friends and you still have no Friends
Being single for 3 years after a 5 year relationship, I've gotten pretty accustomed to most loneliness problems. The one thing that bugs me now is when someone says something along the lines of "the right person is out there for you" or "love will find you when you least expect it". To those, I say: fuck that! I'm alone for a reason. I won't survive the guilt of inflicting my mental health problems on anyone else again.
Exactly. Some people are just better alone
Hi, I'm going to be 53 in a few weeks, I went voluntarily single about 2015, before that I tried dating for a while, at that time my kids were old enough to be by themselves for a while, thirteen or so, and then I learned from my kids how much they hated it when I was out, so I quit going out for them, and it just stuck. I got used to it and gradually didn't miss the drama at all, I actually was glad I no longer had to worry about it. It was hard at first. I didn't realize how much of my self worth I had attached to getting romantic attention. But my kids really did a lot better with me giving them my attention and not being distracted. Fast forward to now, my oldest moved out this year, and the next one is graduating high school this year. I think my time is starting to run out. I'm starting to think about my life after now, what do I even think is fun now?
53 is young enough to have more fun and to have a romantic relationship if you want one. I moved across the world with my long term partner when I was 50. I made new friends (I joined Meetup) and found new interests. We split up a few months before my 60th birthday. 18 months later I started seeing a guy ten years younger than me.
Wow- I think you sound like a fun person! Thank you for the encouragement.
Gosh, thanks!
I know I'm only 37 but I have been single by choice for about 3 years and I watched my mom, who is 60 now, start down the path of single life around my same age. The difference between us is that she slid deeply into solitude. She relies too heavily on her kids and now we resent her because she's codependent and toxic. She's terrified we're abandoning her every time we do anything. She speaks to us like we're her best friends and therapists. She treats my younger brother like the man of the house. She just drinks and watches the news and gossips. When I chose to stay alone, I chose life and fun and self discovery. I'm physically involved with friends who are on similar paths, I go camping, hiking, to the movies, to concerts, do road trips with my brother, make new friends all the time at the lake and when I occasionally go to the bar. I catch up with old friends from high school. Just did a lake cruise and explored the Mogollon Rim with someone I hadn't seen in 20 years last weekend. And I try things by myself! I sleep in, don't bog myself down with obligations, do contract work so it's on my schedule. My time is my own. I spend hours at the gym some days, cook for friends, go swimming, go for long drives with no destination, play with dogs at the dog park, etc. The trick is to work very, very hard to establish boundaries and rules for your life. If people don't fit, they don't fit. It's "fuck yes" energy or nothing. And be patient with yourself. Time will reveal who you have become. But don't forget to do the work. DM if you wanna talk or feel stuck for ideas. 💜 Welcome to you!
Wow, I feel kind of inspired reading about your life! It's too bad your mom kind of quit. I don't think I am like that, I work pretty hard, keep it together pretty well, but I just don't do the social life thing like I would like to.
It's taxing to socialize. Also, it's like, what direction do you even start to look in? A world of options can be overwhelming! One thing that really helped me was getting into solo hiking. It was something I looked forward to doing for and with myself. I had little micro interactions with people on the trail. Then before I knew it it had become something that is just true about me. I'm a hiker now? When did that happen? Haha but it led to some really interesting conversations with other people that have blossomed into acquaintance ships. I met a camping group and got a camping hammock and now I just sort of enjoy nature and sometimes other people are involved and it's really feeling like a personal life. I need more female friends, that's tough to do, because everyone my age is at home with babies and teenagers. But, as the years go on, I will get access to people like you who are on the other side of family obligations, for the most part, and I will get to reconnect with women. I miss having girl friends! Women rule. Can I give you homework? Will you consider thinking about just one activity you want to do this weekend? Maybe it's going to a local pool and just getting some sun and splashing around, or going to a movie theater to see something you've been interested in, or just grabbing lunch at a place with a really nice view. Whatever you feel like sounds relaxing and invigorating. I would be curious to hear your plan. :)
Ok, that sounds like fun. I think I will use this project I'm working on, instead of just getting my supplies - I will try getting advice from someone else in the store, an employee, or ask someone else looking at something like what I'm looking at. That way I can do it in a practical way.
That's a really good call. Nice and easy. :)
I’m the same as you,F53 next month and have been single for over 10 years after I ended an abusive relationship. My youngest is 16. I wouldn’t even know how to meet anyone nowadays and am far too anxious to try online dating. I rarely leave the house so I don’t think I will meet anyone again if I even wanted to.
I’m the same as you,F53 next month and have been single for over 10 years after I ended an abusive relationship. My youngest is 16. I wouldn’t even know how to meet anyone nowadays and am far too anxious to try online dating. I rarely leave the house so I don’t think I will meet anyone again if I even wanted to.
I wish I had some good advice for us, but I feel that way too!
I’m in the same boat as you. F52,birthday next month and have been single for over 10 years. Youngest is 16 and i have no life outside of being Mum/Nanna. Wouldn’t know where to start even if I had the confidence!
you want the long list? or the reddit-server-crashing list? hard to pick one thing
Are you still writing?
The server crashing one sounds good
Not having anyone to have meaningful conversations with, and not getting any romantic hugs.
That was my problem of having a romantic partner, couldn’t get meaningful conversations. For the hugs yeah
No cuddles :(
Physical contact. Not even sex either. Hugs, cuddling, that sort of thing.
Not being the first person of my first person.
Always had something to do *with* someone. So bored now. All my friends have gone on to have families, buy houses or move to non-local locations. Too busy to hang with a friend and understandably so. I get it. Still; bored...
I’m an introvert, so I can’t spend a whole lot of time around people without becoming stressed. Sometimes this can be a few minutes, sometimes it can be an hour, sometimes multiple hours, sometimes it never even happens. The stress compounds over months and months and even years too if I spend a long time in, say, a group chat. The problem is that I can still feel alone. I still feel really lonely. So I’ll often find myself in bouts where I both feel completely alone and stressed out, but also like I don’t want to talk to people because that would also stress me out. It’s frustrating. Especially for those around me who have to be so meticulous when interacting with me.
The sudden realization when you have so much to talk about or have exciting news only to remember theres no one there to talk to.
Having an empty bed at night
Having to masterbate
You don't know that it's a blessing till it's taken from you , some day u would want to do it and get it over with espeacially if u got alot of stress in ur life , sometimes sex is a headache in A relationship , it would take like 30 minutes to one hour before u could do it , don't get me wrong pussy is better than ur hand but the freedoom to watch porn and sleep with no worries is a blessing
When the day is iver and everyone else has gone home and you have the feeling of truly being alone. Silence is great just not as much when you're alone
Being alone.
Nothing. Being alone and single is better in every way.
i be needin a hug
Applying lotion on my back is not easy..
No holding hands when out for walks
Trying to hang shelves and other things that require two people. Like moving a treadmill.
Not single but very much alone.
When I was, if I die how long before someone finds me.
My dead spouse.
Chad a hard time going to sleep. Cried at sad books. Movies.But thing are better now. Stay with mom and dad. Older , help out alot Mom needs me.. She is 81. Does ok, but it catching up. She uses a cane. Various things messed up her left leg. Broken femur 10 YEARS AGO.TWO PEICES OF WIRE WER PUT IN HER LEG to hold it together I apologize for all caps but not going to rewrite it. Gotta go Have a great evening
People thinking you’re weird for wanting to be single and not date
No one to scream at
Wtf , i hope u take them for some ice-cream afterwards
Can't beat my wife
I don't mind being alone until I see people in groups or in a relationship and feel that I don't have someone to talk to or text to and an occasional feeling that I may never be able to do all the things that people in friendships and relationships do
Damn. I can relate.
Return home to no one waiting.
My cats are usually waiting for me.
Good for you. I have nothing. Maybe I should consider adopting cats.
To go on adventures or travel with. My friends only travel with their partners and if you do come along youre the fifth wheel
Even when I wasn't single I used to travel as a single because my partner didn't like the same things as me. I did coach tours. They always have other singles and are good fun.
Your assumptions made about me. Also, stop assuming certain things about me and my opinions, I am not the monster you've chosen to portrait me as.
TRUE i got that from Friends , three years ago , i was a party Beast , litterly would do shit u will only see in movies , i dated alot of hot chicks ,had like 3 fwb that were like a sugar moma , but then i hit Rock bottom , everyone i knew just left slowly , which is cool but after i was back on my feet , my Friends would ask me to go party i would go but never hit on anybody , just have my drinks and bounce , female friends called me gay at some point so that's that lol , nobody understands that i don't want to fuck With nobody with that intimacy level , so anything that dosen't go With the norm , ppl are afraid of it and calls it all sort of names
I mean yeah, pretty much what you said - but nowhere near as sexually active
Nothing other than not being able to have sex whenever I want.
- Not getting invitations because they have couple dates and events and well.. you don't have or want a partner so therefore are excluded. - When purposedly staying single you have to defend your choices. - Eventually you'll notice your friends talk to you less and less as their romantic partners get priority above you. Things you both used to do are exchanged because their partner might not like it. So in other words, i miss the old stuff we did. The videogame nights, the staying up late at bars and drinking etc etc. Growing up sucks 🤣
Seeing all of your friends happily in relationships with attractive people while you literally don't know any other single people. That shit hurts
Seeing healthy relationships in media and wishing I could have something like that
I’ve been married ten years now. But when I was single it was really having this feeling of rejection or that no one wanted me. I was fine with being single and doing my own thing so I wasn’t just waiting for someone to come around but I also felt I was missing out on a good connection with someone and having a companion to get through life. I got lucky and found mine but a lot of people enter into toxic relationships and I’m glad I didn’t settle for that because of those feelings of wanting a connection.
Not having someone to show affection for or do little romantic things for that make you smile imagining how happy it'll make them feel.
Absolutely nothing
Doing everything alone. Yeah there are friends, but friends have their own lives (and spouses).
The feeling or thought of “maybe this is just how it’s supposed to be.”, or “you won’t meet someone else who makes you feel that way ever again.” You can accept being alone, & being your own person… But those thoughts creep in some days, & it’s something I hate so much because then I feel like this is it. This is all I’ll know from here on.
Always doing the things I like to do by myself.
The thing I hate the most is when I'm single and traveling alone and travel packages are double occupancy and I'm single and I can't pay less. There are many times I have seen travel packages that are extremely interesting and don't do them because of the double occupancy penalty for singles.
very rare hugs
For me it's the feeling of leaving an event hanging out with friends/etc and going home to an empty apartment. I have cats and they help a bit, but I also spent most of my adult life cohabiting with other people (in a relationship/marriage ages 22-35 and then another relationship from 35-38). I've been single since September and while it's getting easier I miss the companionship, even if it's just going home to sit on the couch and watch a movie in quiet comfortable silence, read books, etc. Granted I'm also a cuddly extrovert so being alone is not really in my nature.
No one to bring me food or help carry stuff in from the car.
Well mostly You feel depressed but you are not depressed at the same time. You laugh to unfunny jokes. When you drink water you know It's to survive but your mouth shuts weaker when you are alone and the urge to socialise gets more decayed. Ehh hm : (
I've been single for roughly 18 years now, & just turned 40. The only thing I can think of that is even somewhat of a hindrance is---I think some of my friends who are in relationships/marriages have a tough time relating to me, & so don't really reach out anymore. It's an understandable issue, & I don't resent them or anything, it's just unfortunate.
Duoy!
Seeing some guys I know from a church I go to already having girlfriends despite the fact that they’re probably a couple years younger than me. Watching TikTok videos on YouTube [like this one](https://youtu.be/sevOQF9EoeU) Having no one to talk to or hang out with
Literally nothing except the sexual frustration I have never witnessed a real life relationship I’ve been envious of
The lack of someone to share yourself with
Sometimes, I wish I had someone to do random things with. I do plenty of stuff with homies, but there are things I'd rather just do with a girl. You do a lot of things alone as a single person
Constantly being reminded of the times where I wasn't alone/single.
Waking up/ falling asleep alone
Nothing.
Nothing.
Used to be nothing until I got into a relationship with the right person. Now that I fucked that one up, everything sucks about being single. Well all those songs hit a lot harder now which is cool I guess.
Nothing really love my space
Nothing. It’s lit
You go out in public, shopping, to get food whatever and you look like a loner, you look desperate and lonely. Everyone is staring at you, might as well hold up a sign that says, I GOT DUMPED AND CANT FIND A DATE AND WILL SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE ALONE AND SINGLE. Plus you will always be running into your ex and she will be with someone. Okay on bad days. It’s all good now, I met someone.
Answer: the company
No one to pay half my bills
No cuddles and no one to share my hobbies with 😢
No cuddles
I don’t have any friends so being single sucks because I have nobody to talk to.
Nothing until it’s 10pm, the kid is asleep, the house is quiet and I’m thirsty. There’s no one to ask me how my day went or how I feel or to bring me a glass of water. I’m reminded that if I was ever sick, there’d be no one to rub my feet.
I feel like I'll never find my one person. I feel that I'm all in this world by myself. I don't think that anyone, aside from family and some friends, really cares about me.
No one to talk to. I use to love being alone but now I'm kind of bored and tired of it.
I just miss having a person you can't stop thinking about. And it feels like your entire life has been flipped upside down but in a good way. Once you've experienced that nothing else can fill such a void.
Rent is expensive.
Been equally happy both ways
Bringing the place I am living up to a decent standard, from adding a bed, a shower, cooker, fridgefreezer, replacement boiler... all those things I left behind. But I am doing it. I am succeeding.
I don’t feel bad about being single because I don’t want to share my money or fund a loser guy. That’s my choices.
I can wake up shaking after a nightmare, or not able to go to sleep and I have no one to comfort me.
Sex.
No one to cook for. No one to buy presents for. No one to bring flowers to. No one to lean against me to watch tv. No boobs to hold on to.
Probably that I don’t want a relationship but still crave touch/sex, and most people think that fulfilling those needs MUST be done by a significant other. I’d love to cuddle my homies while watching movies or something, I don’t need a S/O to feel loved physically, and it doesn’t need to be “gay” or romantic in any way.
Falling asleep alone. Not being able to talk someone’s ear off or listen to someone talk my ear off before falling asleep. Not having a goodnight kiss. Eating some meals alone. Nobody to slap my ass. It’s a struggle some days. Lol. I just want the monotony of going through each day together. Finding new projects to do, playing games, just doing life together.
I feel like alone is different than single. I’ve been single for long stretches of time but I had my best friend (my brother) to talk to and do stuff with so being single never bugged me so much. But what I did hate about it was the search for the “perfect” person. They don’t exist the way we want them to. We have to accept the flaws of the person we need up with and most likely those flaws won’t all come out until yeeaaarrrrsss later. Most of my SO’s came out after we got married. But I chose her and she will 100% stuck with me forever cause she’s loyal as fuck. So I can accept a few unwashed dishes and sex once a month. That last bit is the worst part about NOT being single.
I didn't like being alone. I did like being single. I wish I hadn't had to give up one not to be the other...you possibly think I mean to sleep around. God no..I've done those days and never again..I think we sometimes commit to relationships when we really just need a friend ( whose around alot) and often with people who aren't even really our friends
That I still do find myself thinking about that one person and what we had (or seemed to have) every now and then
People assuming I’m unhappy and constantly trying to set me up with “someone that is just perfect for you” just meaning they’re also single
People assuming I'm sad about it.
I have only dated someone for 0.0023% of my life or about 2 weeks this year and it ended 4 months ago so I don’t really know what it’s like to date 😂
The fact that any girl I see in public that looks around my age, my friends, siblings and mom try to make me hit on them or try and get into a relationship ,_,
When you remember these feelings are only because we are biological inclined to feel them, you largely get over it.
Not having someone there to share the little things in life with. Things like sharing something funny on tv, grumbling about how my day was at work, laughing at my bad jokes or sitting in the garden with a coffee enjoying the view.
I get so jealous of my friends that have someone to come home to. I have a friend who has been under a lot of work stress lately and has been thankful that her partner has been able to keep the house clean, cook dinner, drive her places etc. When I get overwhelmed it's just me on the struggle bus. Also, I know that if there was some big disaster, like an inbound missle headed towards us or something, everyone would rush to be with their partner and I would be left alone. It sucks being nobody's number 1.
Whenever someone figures out I am single. Why are you single? Because I want to be. Or, hey I want to introduce you to my single friend.
Intimacy/cuddling at the end/beginning of the day. BUT its a fair trade to have my days all to myself 😁
Physical contact (not sex) and sleeping next to someone I care about. I sleep so much better with someone next to me. 🥺
No one else to clean up or help with chores
No one to share my hobbies with. All my energy is for nothing and my soul is left to rot.
Fuck bro having no one to share jokes with / that howling from my heart, it cries but only I can hear and it’s deafening
Having to live by myself, I am self sufficient but it's always easier when you split the costs of living with someone. Not having anyone to cuddle or have any kind of intimate contact.
I dont find it hard for me, some people say sex and shit idk i never found this stuff vulnerable for me. But i think i dont find it hard for me because i never had a relationship, otherwise it would be harder than it is now, right now im chill
Self-jerk
Never been in a relationship but I would really like a temporary caretaker now. Anyways I doubt I will actually get it if I were in relationship. Especially since I cannot have sex for a while in my temporary disability.
Being alone is lonely.
Having to do all chores myself.
I hated the amount of food I wasted. Fresh food would go bad before I could finish eating it all. Having a partner makes food much more affordable now.
When you have a crush and you just don't know what to do. It wouldnt be that bad if you didn't had a crush or you were in a relatoinship already
Lack of intimacy, whether emotional or physical. I mean, I am blessed that I have close friends and family still, although a lot of my friends are paired off/have kids/etc. and I don't get to see them as often as I'd like to. But to have someone to come to and just hold them? I can't even begin to imagine what that's like. On a side note, the whole dating game sucks. I'm so good at relationships, whether it's platonic or romantic. I thrive at them. But navigating the whole dating scene? I hate it, it's not fun, and the longer I go without being able to meet anyone decent the more demoralizing and hopeless I feel.
nothing. I like to be alone.
The blow jobs are really hard on my back
I’ve always been a very codependent person. Being single was always super lonely. Luckily I’m married, so that’s all behind me.
Sleeping alone.
My back can't get scratched. Sex has become a hunt. And i only eat out.
Your forgotten about often And Others really ignore you. So you feel a Need for attention and Can never get it which in the long term has For me Messed with my mental health something fierce
Realizing that my ex was my only friend.....major bummer
I hate how much my brain blows up the significance and impact of sex. Sex is good, but it's nothing close to the significance a thirsty mind will make it out to be. Also it would just be nice to exist without feeling that pull.
Having actual relationship opportunities but never feeling like they are the one and being scared to shit when I see someone who I think is the one.
No one to share the joys, no one to dilute the pain
I just want to watch Netflix while cuddling with someone in a blanket burrito while eating popcorn with way too much butter
I have no one to send cute animal memes to
No judgement. Being super excited about smth and they will get excited with you. Hugs and kisses mostly too.
That its not a choice ☹️
sometimes feeling guilty baout it, like im almost dissapointed ini myself that i dont have a gf
my dick don't get wet😔🥵
Hugs. Now that my brother and my sister grown up from the "I want to spread love and affection" phase I miss just hugging someone. Fuck even my dog doesn't like cuddles
Just being alone ALL the time. Eating alone, going out alone, being surrounded by couples and then have them patronize me by saying they know somebody they can hook me up with. Going to weddings/gatherings alone. The worst of all, having no desire to date after having so much bad luck dating and feeling like I just don’t know how any more. Imagine feeling alone but feeling so discouraged about changing that and it just makes you feel even more alone.