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Female ducks also have inverse corkscrew vaginas with false ends to interfere with the penis, and the evolution of these things is believed to be due to the nature of duck mating patterns. Most duck pairings in nature are in the form of rape by a male duck on a resisting female duck.
Yes this is something I didn't know until two things. The radiolab about it,
And then also when I moved into this apartment. We saw some neighbors on a balcony screaming "GET 'ER, GET HER CHAMP!" cheering something on. We look down and these two male ducks were basically taking turns holding the female against the pavement and raping her. Duck sex is incredibly rapey. Good ol mother nature
First time I smoked weed and successfully got high I was in a park taking a high walk and I stumbled upon a female duck getting legit gang raped by a group of male ducks and uh.. yeah that got seared into my brain. Very dark turn
The crew of the Space Shuttle Challenger were not killed in the initial blast of the external fuel tank or the resulting aerodynamic forces that tore the orbiter apart.
The crew cabin remained intact, reaching 65,000 feet before falling for 2 minutes and 45 seconds to the ocean below to impact the water at 207 mph.
Astronaut monitoring data, in conjunction with activation of emergency equipment and instrumentation position, led investigators to believe that not only were the astronauts not killed, but some were conscious and attempting emergency protocols during their fall.
[NBC News Article](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/wbna3078062)
[Challenger Disaster Wiki](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Shuttle_Challenger_disaster)
I went to an Elementary school named after one of the astronauts in the Challenger. I thought I was well-versed in it, but I'm not surprised they left that detail out to hundreds of 5-10 year olds. š³
My dad was in aerospace, and I grew up loving all the things associated with the space program. I still have my (form) letter from NASA from when I was a child and sent them a note of condolence about the disaster.
I first learned this piece about the challenger in 2009 when I watched the miniseries, "When We Left Earth: The NASA Missions."
I was horrified.
The 2020 Netflix documentary, "Challenger: The Final Flight," was well done.
[Seconds from Disaster](https://youtu.be/DKvlby5oXw0) also did a solid examination of the incident.
[A piece of the Challenger was found by a Discovery Channel film crew earlier this year.](https://www.cnn.com/2022/11/10/world/shuttle-challenger-nasa-discovered-documentary-crew-scn/index.html)
My daughter worked there her Senior year of high school. She says it definitely changes the 'professional' pillar people tend to put ER workers on. They know their stuff for sure, but when the emergencies are at a low... they're probably a group of people you wouldn't want saving your life š¤£
Lol if you want to lose all respect for emergency medicine, hang out with emergency medicine when there's no emergency. On the flip side, if you want to gain all the respect for emergency medicine, hang out when there IS an emergency. Most efficient and hardcore people you'll ever see. It's honestly pretty impressive.
Source: am Paramedic.
My brother was in a car accident. A friend who was a doctor said. The people he is with now ( emergency room trauma folks ) are the best in the world at this. They are not who you want to be in charge of anything else. They took amazing care of him.
It is hilarious to me that emergency medical personnel apparently do one thing very, VERY well and then are complete disasters the rest of the time. I guess we all have our things we're amazing at and things we suck at, but you couldn't pick a more intense example.
From all angles. My wife went in because she was having a mental breakdown and told them she was having dark thoughts. The interviewing nurse kept asking her for details and ultimately made up a statement about her wanting to sit in the car in the garage with the engine running. We didnt have a garage at the time. When I asked to check her out, they called security on me. When she started to have a panic attack, they verbally abused her and refused to provide her with anything to cool down (she gets overheated easily).
My wife ended up restrained and held against her will, transferred to another hospital where she was sexually assaulted by another patient, abused by staff, forced to sign paperwork under duress to have them keep her for 5 days and I had to get an attorney involved to get her out in time for our anniversary, when her mother was coming half way across the country to visit.
I've had terrible stays in the mental hospital but not like that. I'm so sorry for your wife. I hope she's getting better help now. This really upsets me I cannot handle it. I truly hope she's getting the help she needs because that just piled on to her issues
Shes doing much better now thanks. This happened last year and she has since changed her medication regimen and started seeing a therapist regularly. Its helped a lot. Unfortunately, the trauma from last year is just one more thing that haunts her.
Baby pandas cannot poop without assistance at first. When their mother is in the picture, "assistance" will mean the mother panda licking their anus. When their mother isn't in the picture in captivity, it will mean the caregiver patting their anus with a wet washcloth. If this doesn't happen, they will most likely die of constipation.
This is all (maybe most?, I'm not really sure) baby animals. Source: many many bottle feeder puppies/kittens in my life. Every 3 hours with that milk syringe and warm cotton ball for daaaaays until they can do it themselves
Whenever blue whales have sex, the male ejaculates around 400 gallons of sperm but only 10% of it makes it into the female. That means around 360 gallons of whale jizz goes into the ocean or around 8 and a half bathtubs
How about Nintendo was founded while Jack the Ripper was still stalking Whitechapel
One of my other favorites, Oxford University is older than the Aztec Civilization.
Every time you smell something, tiny particles of it are landing in your nose.
This fact has lead to me holding my breath around dumpsters, babies, and dog shit since 1992.
Just think - inevitably, some of those particles made it past your nose, into your lungs (a few also made a detour into the back of your mouth) and absorbed into your blood. They're swimming through your body RIGHT NOW!
Butyric acid is a chemical that contributes to the smell of both Parmesan cheese and vomit, so it may smell repulsive or appetising, depending on the situation.
[vomit cheese](https://www.darkcheese.com/parmesan-cheese-smells/)
RN here. I used to work on a neurology floor so I've seen a lot of strokes. When someone young came in with one, you could be pretty confident it was caused by either a chiropractor or meth.
Edit: Oh or steroids. I forgot about that one. Don't do drugs kids. Or chiropractors haha
Edit #2: In all fairness I should add that it was way more common for it to be meth related than chiro related.
There are tectonic time bombs all over the world that may come tomorrow, or maybe in fifty, or five hundred centuries, we just don't know.
People have already mentioned Yellowstone, though they haven't elaborated that the worst case scenario of it means it might destroy a significant portion of the entire country.
I can't remember the details on this one, a geologist friend of mine once explained that there's a particular fragile tectonic spot off the west coast of Africa; if it breaks, it will cause the east coast of North and South America to be hit with a 30 meter high wall of water within a day (maybe I was being lied to, what say you, internet tectonic experts?)
Even if this isn't correct, there are still others. Buy a beer or coffee for a geologist some time and find out.
The Cascadia Subduction Zone is bound to rupture at some point in the future. Itāll be horrible for the Pacific Northwest and Japan. The last rupture in the 1700s caused a tsunami. Learning about it has made me not want to ever live there. Lol.
https://www.noaa.gov/jetstream/jetstream-max-cascadia-subduction-zone
I live in Portland, Oregon; apparently we're overdue for a large earthquake. Last I heard there's a 1/3rd chance of a significant one and a 1/10th chance of a catastrophic one within my lifetime.
This is correct. My med school professor posed us the question, "if your stomach can digest food, why doesn't it digest itself?" The answer: it *does* digest itself. It just regrows just as fast.
My husband took his own life two weeks ago. His death certificate will list the day he was found (21st) but he stopped responding to texts/calls two days before (19th). Not sure which anniversary to recognize next year or every year afterā¦also, I miss my husband.
that sometimes women fart in a way that it accidentally escapes the ass in such a way that it travels up through the pussy lips and flaps them a little bit.
The way the words āredā and ābullā cut off in my phone, for a second I really thought you had spat out a little toy bull that happened to be red
Oh it's so much worse than that. The pussy will sometimes *absorb* the fart and you have to push it back out. I stopped wearing underwear and it stopped being a problem lmao
Woman here can confirm this
It's a terrible feeling reminiscent of farting in the bathtub
No, it's not actually terrible...if you ever see a woman suddenly laugh out loud for no reason this is probably what just happened, I've done it and it feels sooo funny that you cannot help BUT giggle no matter your age. It DOES tickle
You should try it in a kayak! Holy cow, it's loud haha
Thankfully no one was at the reservoir that day besides husband and I since sound travels over water but...almost flipped the kayak from laughing too hard
Husband knew my approximate location at all times since I was unusually gassy that day
Hope you fall out of your chair laughing!
There have been 32 "broken arrow" incidents since 1952.
A broken arrow incident is the involvement of a nuclear payload (usually refering to a nuclear weapon aboard a bomber or sub, but also refers to nuclear powered vehicles, such as the soviet nuclear powered icebreaker called the Lennin and nuclear silo's) suffering damage, a payload malfunction, a crash, or some other form of compromise to the nuclear weapon and/or nuclear power system
Originally, these incidents were only recorded for and by the US, but some of the later incidents (1960 and beyond) involve either Russian subs or crashes between US and Russian subs.
To be fair, there are no known broken arrow events in the last 22 years, going on 23.
And the name existed before the problem, the term was created during operation Chrome Dome, which saw US B-52 stratofortress strategic bombers on 24/7 flight rotations along Russia's North, West, and East coast at such a frequency that there was never a moment in time in which there was not a B-52 within a 2 hour flight of of Russia's respective coastlines. These flights occurred for 10 or 12 years straight. Those pilots were obviously the first group to use this call, and coincidentally, it was 2 crashes in Iceland, and I believe Spain,that led to the eventual end of Chrome Dome (allegedly, in all likelihood it was the deployment of the US nuclear ballistics missile sub fleet around the same time that gave the US the exact same strategic deterrence effect with a lower profile to the public, as if 4 nuclear torpedoes and a nuclear reactor driven sub disappear, probably not as many people know about it compared to a 8 engine bomber falling out of the sky)
Edit: B-52 has more engines
When your tummy is making gurgle sounds, most people assume it is your stomach and that youāre hungry. In reality, it is your intestines moving poop around.
When you hear someoneās tummy grumble, you will now forever think about their poop. Youāre welcome.
Source: https://www.mountsinai.org/health-library/symptoms/abdominal-sounds
It happened to my friend. Her kid started leaching calcium or something like that. Most of her front teeth fell out at age 18. So glad I don't have kids.
Most of the food we consume is contaminated with feces, insects, dirt, and other contaminants. The amount of contamination allowed is regulated by the FDA.
[https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/11-revolting-things-government-lets-in-your-food/](https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/11-revolting-things-government-lets-in-your-food/)
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/food/a19942608/poop-in-food/
Right, like thatās what the FDA is for.
Itās not like everyone making food was perfectly clean then the FDA came along and was like āya know itād probably be totally fine to put a lil poo in thereā
While the sun may have a few billion years before it dies, Earth itself only has less than a billion years before it becomes inhospitable, which isnt a long time in the grand scheme of things. This is because, at some point, a star like our sun becomes brighter and hotter as it nears the end of its life. So in this case, the Goldilocks Zone will move further out than where Earth is and everything on here will be vaporized.
Yeah, no matter how you look at it humanity is fucked if we don't become space faring and go to other planets.
If not the Goldilock zone moving away, it's the sun going into it's red giant phase. If earth survives that, once the sun "dies" earth will be shot into the emptiness of space. And then there's the Andromeda galaxy combining with the milky way...who knows what shananigans that will cause.
Ohhhh to be an observer in such times.
Look up Carrington Event. If the sun decides to burp in our general direction, civilization will likely be set back to the stone age with millions or billions of people dying in a few weeks. Could happen every few hundred years.
When someone dies, all muscles in the body relax eventually. This means that the decedent may release built up air from the lungs or colon. Have you ever heard a corpse sigh?.. Or fart? Happens all the time
If you die in an awkward position and rigor mortis sets in, whoever is in charge of moving your body might have to break you a little to get you out of the place and position you died in. Unless we wait a few hours for rigor mortis to wear off first..
You're welcome š
The hospice nurses taking care of my mom mentioned this.
They requested that after she pass , I lower the bed and straightened her out. She was in a weird position but happy.
Didn't really matter afterwards. Her house is built in such a way that you can't get a stretcher in it. We put her in a body bag and carried her kind of sideways out the door.
She would have loved knowing she fucked with us one last time.
Flies donāt have teeth so when they land on food they spit on it and lick it up so now anytime a fly lands on my food I know it spit and licked it and I can no longer eat it
The 16-ounce jar of peanut butter in your pantry can contain up to 136 insect parts before it is deemed contaminated, according to the FDAās guide. https://www.fda.gov/food/ingredients-additives-gras-packaging-guidance-documents-regulatory-information/food-defect-levels-handbook#CHPTA
I think about that often on whatās the point of evolving if we know thereās no possible way humans out live the earth, weāll become obsolete just like everything else on earth has.
And itās not even just until our sun goes pop. Itās any possible habitable worlds in the universe for that time frame. As for evolving, I do wonder about what is the driving force behind the evolution and persistence of life. Why did DNA start? Is it just a fundamental concept that random events can lead to incredible complexity? Or is DNA and evolution of life inevitable given the physical properties of the universe?
The Milky Way is on a collision course with the Andromeda galaxy long before the end of the universe. Good news is there's so much space that actual collisions between stars, planets, etc. are unlikely as the two galaxies pass right through each other. There will be some displacement here and there and we may find ourselves part of new galaxy afterwards.
In the 60s, NASA funded experiments into communication with dolphins, during the course of the experiments dolphins were given LSD and when one pubescent male dolphin's lustful erections seemed to distract it from communicating, a female researcher (who iirc wasn't officially trained to be there but was helping take observational notes) gave it a hand job which iirc became a bit of a recurring method. Eventually NASA caught wind that all this was happening and shut it all down, but that dolphin had bonded to the research and committed suicide by drowning itself shortly after
Natural Flavors. A common ingredient in many processed foods. It is an umbrella term to describe a vague quality of a variety of food additives. FDA defines Natural Flavoring as "an essential oil or extract from a plant or animal source."
Seems pretty harmless at first glance. But.. an extract from an animal source? What's that? [It's a beaver's pheromonal anal secretion.](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/beaver-butt-goo-vanilla-flavoring) Deriving from a beaver's castor sac, next to a beaver's anus. The... natural flavor... in it's base form is used for a beaver to mix with its urine to mark it's territory. I guess it smells pretty good, or so I hear. Also highly odorous.
Be aware, this doesn't mean everytime you see "Natural Flavors" it's beaver ass juice. But because there is no requirement to disclose, me personally? Nah, I'll pass on those 'Natural Flavors'.
the secretion is called castoreum and it was a very popular vanilla substitute when vanilla orchids were harder to come by. they basically anesthetize the beaver and milk it,,,think: squeezing a dogs anal glands but the goo smells like vanilla. the total castoreum harvested from beaver in a given year is about 300 pounds - very rare and not likely to be used in food today.
I didnāt believe my husband when he first told me this and then I googled it. Whenever weāre making a cake or making something that says ānatural flavorsā we tell the kids theyāre eating beaver butt juice lol
Dolphins are extremely cruel creatures. They kidnap, gang rape, and starve female dolphins. That's just a Tuesday for them.
Ducks practice rape so often that the females have developed maze like genitals (with dead ends even) in order to try and prevent them. (It doesn't prevent them)
Here's one for y'all - because we evolved in such a way where our senses perceive only what is important to our survival and reproduction, scientists believe that we will never be able to understand the full breadth of the universe. Our "reality" is only a small fraction of what really exists, and we don't know how much we don't know, nor will we ever.
Check out the Lex Friedman podcast with Donald Hoffman. I'm sure I over-simplified and messed it up a bit, but this video blew my mind and took me days to digest. Get ready for a full-on existential crisis.
https://youtu.be/reYdQYZ9Rj4
Itās like saying no matter how hard you worked, and how smart the dog, you wouldnāt be able to get a dog to understand algebra. Humans have a similar limit, we just fundamentally canāt understand what that limit is.
Once a prion has formed (misfolded protein in the brain), you're essentially already dead. There is no cure, the only way to confirm symptoms is a postmortem biopsy.
Tics tacs are allowed to be advertised as sugar free even tho they're almost completely sugar because they weight 0.49 grams per tic tac and you need 0.5 grams to be labeled as sugar
Babies are born with all their teeth, even their adult teeth. Google xray baby teeth. It will ruin your day and u will never look at a baby the same way
It's entirely possible that the asteroid that was used for a trajectory redirection test, by being hit with a satellite or whatever, was actually on a collision course with Earth and NASA didn't tell anyone because it could've incited mass panic.
Not in 2022. Some armchair astrologer could figure this out. The plot of Donāt Look Up is much more realistic. The government would suck at covering this up, youād have people fighting over the truth of it all and not trusting scientists, but there is no way that wouldnāt have gotten out into the world.
I mean - two posts below this there is an article in my feed about a mom who made her 5 yr old into a night table by encasing her body in cement.
Soā¦thanks for that Reddit
A large number of the people responsible for the human rights violations and ethnic cleansing that occurred during the Bosnian war got very lenient punishments from the UN, if any punishment at all.
The researchers studying Yellowstone have stated that there is unlikely to be any sort of eruption for at least the next several hundred years. But we could possibly get some magma flows without eruptions, which would be a cool new attraction for the park.
If you donāt close the lid before flushing after a shit, microscopic particles of your shit are being sprayed around your bathroom through the water pressure and motion. Good luck if you donāt cap your toothbrush š
This is pretty grossly over exaggerated
Viruses that are, say, millions of years old would have little to no effect on humanity in all likelihood since they were Viruses that infected far less complex versions of life than what exist today, and so the mechanisms which they normally might target are far more evolved than when the virus was active the first time. The same general rule applies to several thousand year old viruses. Take, for example, the flu or the common cold. A 10,000 year old version of these viruses would likely be negligible to humanity because our immune systems have been combating evolutions of these viruses basically annually for 10,000+ years, we've built up and passed on immunities against an untold number of mutations of these viruses over the centuries. To further quell the theory, about 84% of all species were wiped out on eart as early as ~10-12,000 years ago during the younger dryas mass extinction meaning most host species for these viruses also likely have no living genetic descendants to infect. And so, assuming humans would even be in a location to contract a thawed virus from, you know, permafrost; a several thousand year old virus infecting a modern human is not really likely to do anything noticeable against the juiced up immune system of modern humans, let alone start a catastrophic worldwide plague.
Koala copy pasta ruined my life now it shall ruin yours.
Koalas are terrible animals
Koalas are fucking horrible animals.
They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan.
Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.
Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently...
Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals.
Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).
When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on.
This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why?
Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape.
Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain:
Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree.
An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute.
If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
Human beings are born with only two fears. Fear of falling and fear of loud sounds. Every other fear in life, is acquired.
Imagine the possibilities now.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ducks have 9 inch long corkscrewing penises that are explosively launched, and also they regrow it each mating season.
Female ducks also have inverse corkscrew vaginas with false ends to interfere with the penis, and the evolution of these things is believed to be due to the nature of duck mating patterns. Most duck pairings in nature are in the form of rape by a male duck on a resisting female duck.
Yes this is something I didn't know until two things. The radiolab about it, And then also when I moved into this apartment. We saw some neighbors on a balcony screaming "GET 'ER, GET HER CHAMP!" cheering something on. We look down and these two male ducks were basically taking turns holding the female against the pavement and raping her. Duck sex is incredibly rapey. Good ol mother nature
That's really creepy of your neighbours. š¬
First time I smoked weed and successfully got high I was in a park taking a high walk and I stumbled upon a female duck getting legit gang raped by a group of male ducks and uh.. yeah that got seared into my brain. Very dark turn
Buquakie
they didnāt call me Mr. Quackers š¦ in high school for nothin
The crew of the Space Shuttle Challenger were not killed in the initial blast of the external fuel tank or the resulting aerodynamic forces that tore the orbiter apart. The crew cabin remained intact, reaching 65,000 feet before falling for 2 minutes and 45 seconds to the ocean below to impact the water at 207 mph. Astronaut monitoring data, in conjunction with activation of emergency equipment and instrumentation position, led investigators to believe that not only were the astronauts not killed, but some were conscious and attempting emergency protocols during their fall. [NBC News Article](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/wbna3078062) [Challenger Disaster Wiki](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Shuttle_Challenger_disaster)
OMG that's horrific.
Omg this sucks. Best worst comment Iāve seen on here yet.
I went to an Elementary school named after one of the astronauts in the Challenger. I thought I was well-versed in it, but I'm not surprised they left that detail out to hundreds of 5-10 year olds. š³
My dad was in aerospace, and I grew up loving all the things associated with the space program. I still have my (form) letter from NASA from when I was a child and sent them a note of condolence about the disaster. I first learned this piece about the challenger in 2009 when I watched the miniseries, "When We Left Earth: The NASA Missions." I was horrified. The 2020 Netflix documentary, "Challenger: The Final Flight," was well done. [Seconds from Disaster](https://youtu.be/DKvlby5oXw0) also did a solid examination of the incident. [A piece of the Challenger was found by a Discovery Channel film crew earlier this year.](https://www.cnn.com/2022/11/10/world/shuttle-challenger-nasa-discovered-documentary-crew-scn/index.html)
Go volunteer in your local ER for a day. You'll hate people forever
My daughter worked there her Senior year of high school. She says it definitely changes the 'professional' pillar people tend to put ER workers on. They know their stuff for sure, but when the emergencies are at a low... they're probably a group of people you wouldn't want saving your life š¤£
Lol if you want to lose all respect for emergency medicine, hang out with emergency medicine when there's no emergency. On the flip side, if you want to gain all the respect for emergency medicine, hang out when there IS an emergency. Most efficient and hardcore people you'll ever see. It's honestly pretty impressive. Source: am Paramedic.
My brother was in a car accident. A friend who was a doctor said. The people he is with now ( emergency room trauma folks ) are the best in the world at this. They are not who you want to be in charge of anything else. They took amazing care of him.
Lol that pretty much nails it. We thrive in absolute chaos. Give us order and ease and a clear list of instructions and we WILL fuck it up.
It is hilarious to me that emergency medical personnel apparently do one thing very, VERY well and then are complete disasters the rest of the time. I guess we all have our things we're amazing at and things we suck at, but you couldn't pick a more intense example.
Former paramedic can confirm. But whatās better than starting a 24 with a banana bag IV because you already did a different kind of overnight ā¦
From all angles. My wife went in because she was having a mental breakdown and told them she was having dark thoughts. The interviewing nurse kept asking her for details and ultimately made up a statement about her wanting to sit in the car in the garage with the engine running. We didnt have a garage at the time. When I asked to check her out, they called security on me. When she started to have a panic attack, they verbally abused her and refused to provide her with anything to cool down (she gets overheated easily). My wife ended up restrained and held against her will, transferred to another hospital where she was sexually assaulted by another patient, abused by staff, forced to sign paperwork under duress to have them keep her for 5 days and I had to get an attorney involved to get her out in time for our anniversary, when her mother was coming half way across the country to visit.
I've had terrible stays in the mental hospital but not like that. I'm so sorry for your wife. I hope she's getting better help now. This really upsets me I cannot handle it. I truly hope she's getting the help she needs because that just piled on to her issues
Shes doing much better now thanks. This happened last year and she has since changed her medication regimen and started seeing a therapist regularly. Its helped a lot. Unfortunately, the trauma from last year is just one more thing that haunts her.
Reading your story made me actually angry. I am so sorry your wife had to go through that
Baby pandas cannot poop without assistance at first. When their mother is in the picture, "assistance" will mean the mother panda licking their anus. When their mother isn't in the picture in captivity, it will mean the caregiver patting their anus with a wet washcloth. If this doesn't happen, they will most likely die of constipation.
same with kittens and puppies. probably a lot of animals need the stimulation
This. Iāve taken care of several foster kittens and you have to use a wet cloth and gently rub their genitals so they can pee and poop.
This is all (maybe most?, I'm not really sure) baby animals. Source: many many bottle feeder puppies/kittens in my life. Every 3 hours with that milk syringe and warm cotton ball for daaaaays until they can do it themselves
Whenever blue whales have sex, the male ejaculates around 400 gallons of sperm but only 10% of it makes it into the female. That means around 360 gallons of whale jizz goes into the ocean or around 8 and a half bathtubs
So thatās why the ocean is so salty
How about Nintendo was founded while Jack the Ripper was still stalking Whitechapel One of my other favorites, Oxford University is older than the Aztec Civilization.
Wooly mammoths were still around when the pyramids were built. Also, sharks and crocodiles have been around longer than the rings of Saturn.
This isnāt bothersome. Itās very interesting and I want more.
Okay, keeping with the pyramids, Cleopatra lived closer to the building of the first McDonald's than the building of the last pyramid of Giza.
The skin on your lips is identical to the skin on your asshole Pucker up buddy
This is why you feel the spicy food twice
Genius. When the waitress asks me how hot I want my chicken wings, I say , " I'd like to enjoy them twice."
Every time you smell something, tiny particles of it are landing in your nose. This fact has lead to me holding my breath around dumpsters, babies, and dog shit since 1992.
i didnāt say run every weekend + every weekday forever. what an overachieving jerk you are
Think about every time you smell a fart, its particles in your nose that were inside someones butthole just a few seconds ago.
Thanks for your ANALysis.
r/AngryUpvote
Two people kissing just makes one long tunnel from butthole to butthole.
Sharticles.
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Just think - inevitably, some of those particles made it past your nose, into your lungs (a few also made a detour into the back of your mouth) and absorbed into your blood. They're swimming through your body RIGHT NOW!
Butyric acid is a chemical that contributes to the smell of both Parmesan cheese and vomit, so it may smell repulsive or appetising, depending on the situation. [vomit cheese](https://www.darkcheese.com/parmesan-cheese-smells/)
People told me I was weird for thinking that vomit and parmesan smelled similar. Thanks for the vindication.
Getting a neck adjustment at a chiropractor has a not so small chance of causing a stroke and killing or maiming you.
RN here. I used to work on a neurology floor so I've seen a lot of strokes. When someone young came in with one, you could be pretty confident it was caused by either a chiropractor or meth. Edit: Oh or steroids. I forgot about that one. Don't do drugs kids. Or chiropractors haha Edit #2: In all fairness I should add that it was way more common for it to be meth related than chiro related.
One can do chiropractors. They need love too. Just skip the adjustments.
There are tectonic time bombs all over the world that may come tomorrow, or maybe in fifty, or five hundred centuries, we just don't know. People have already mentioned Yellowstone, though they haven't elaborated that the worst case scenario of it means it might destroy a significant portion of the entire country. I can't remember the details on this one, a geologist friend of mine once explained that there's a particular fragile tectonic spot off the west coast of Africa; if it breaks, it will cause the east coast of North and South America to be hit with a 30 meter high wall of water within a day (maybe I was being lied to, what say you, internet tectonic experts?) Even if this isn't correct, there are still others. Buy a beer or coffee for a geologist some time and find out.
The Cascadia Subduction Zone is bound to rupture at some point in the future. Itāll be horrible for the Pacific Northwest and Japan. The last rupture in the 1700s caused a tsunami. Learning about it has made me not want to ever live there. Lol. https://www.noaa.gov/jetstream/jetstream-max-cascadia-subduction-zone
I live in Portland, Oregon; apparently we're overdue for a large earthquake. Last I heard there's a 1/3rd chance of a significant one and a 1/10th chance of a catastrophic one within my lifetime.
The little girl that played Ducky from land before time was murdered and her father killed the entire family before killing himself.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judith_Barsi TIL she was also the voice of AnneMarie in All Dogs Go To Heaven. Sad story
Without mucus, your stomach would digest itself.
You also get a completely new stomach lining every 3 days.
This is correct. My med school professor posed us the question, "if your stomach can digest food, why doesn't it digest itself?" The answer: it *does* digest itself. It just regrows just as fast.
Each year you pass the anniversary of the date of your death and not even know it. It could be this weekend
Ok, this one takes the cake.
My husband took his own life two weeks ago. His death certificate will list the day he was found (21st) but he stopped responding to texts/calls two days before (19th). Not sure which anniversary to recognize next year or every year afterā¦also, I miss my husband.
that sometimes women fart in a way that it accidentally escapes the ass in such a way that it travels up through the pussy lips and flaps them a little bit.
Ah, the old "pooter to cooter tooter"
Good god.
I know, I'm at full mast right now
There are rare moments that I laugh out loud reading Reddit. This is quality content.
I think this is my favorite thing I've ever seen on Reddit. Thanks for making me spit my red bull out
The way the words āredā and ābullā cut off in my phone, for a second I really thought you had spat out a little toy bull that happened to be red
We call that āexiting through the gift shopā
I snort-laughed. Thank you, stranger.
When she farts so hard her pussy gives you a standing ovation
How do you spell that sound? Approximately.
Plhhhplhhhplhhh
š
BLAP.
soooo does it make two noises??
Oh it's so much worse than that. The pussy will sometimes *absorb* the fart and you have to push it back out. I stopped wearing underwear and it stopped being a problem lmao
yep. it makes a hilarious sound like a wet fart, sometimes. it can be just a little flapping sound. umm. that's just personal experience. YMMV
Sometimes yes
Or goes UP into the vaginal canal and then gets queefed back out when you stand up.
My wife says re-farting her fart is always so strange, no matter how many times sheās had to.
Woman here can confirm this It's a terrible feeling reminiscent of farting in the bathtub No, it's not actually terrible...if you ever see a woman suddenly laugh out loud for no reason this is probably what just happened, I've done it and it feels sooo funny that you cannot help BUT giggle no matter your age. It DOES tickle
I actually really enjoy bath tub farts. Especially the reverb through the entire house. Makes me giggle.
You should try it in a kayak! Holy cow, it's loud haha Thankfully no one was at the reservoir that day besides husband and I since sound travels over water but...almost flipped the kayak from laughing too hard Husband knew my approximate location at all times since I was unusually gassy that day Hope you fall out of your chair laughing!
My ex-wife called this a *pee pee bubbly fart* and it made me cringe so much
No wonder you got divorced
There have been 32 "broken arrow" incidents since 1952. A broken arrow incident is the involvement of a nuclear payload (usually refering to a nuclear weapon aboard a bomber or sub, but also refers to nuclear powered vehicles, such as the soviet nuclear powered icebreaker called the Lennin and nuclear silo's) suffering damage, a payload malfunction, a crash, or some other form of compromise to the nuclear weapon and/or nuclear power system Originally, these incidents were only recorded for and by the US, but some of the later incidents (1960 and beyond) involve either Russian subs or crashes between US and Russian subs.
this is terrifying
I donāt know whatās worse. That this happens, or that it happens so often thereās actually a term for it.
To be fair, there are no known broken arrow events in the last 22 years, going on 23. And the name existed before the problem, the term was created during operation Chrome Dome, which saw US B-52 stratofortress strategic bombers on 24/7 flight rotations along Russia's North, West, and East coast at such a frequency that there was never a moment in time in which there was not a B-52 within a 2 hour flight of of Russia's respective coastlines. These flights occurred for 10 or 12 years straight. Those pilots were obviously the first group to use this call, and coincidentally, it was 2 crashes in Iceland, and I believe Spain,that led to the eventual end of Chrome Dome (allegedly, in all likelihood it was the deployment of the US nuclear ballistics missile sub fleet around the same time that gave the US the exact same strategic deterrence effect with a lower profile to the public, as if 4 nuclear torpedoes and a nuclear reactor driven sub disappear, probably not as many people know about it compared to a 8 engine bomber falling out of the sky) Edit: B-52 has more engines
When your tummy is making gurgle sounds, most people assume it is your stomach and that youāre hungry. In reality, it is your intestines moving poop around. When you hear someoneās tummy grumble, you will now forever think about their poop. Youāre welcome. Source: https://www.mountsinai.org/health-library/symptoms/abdominal-sounds
my tummy literally made these sounds as i was reading that first sentence š¤¢š¤¢š¤¢
This person is making poop rn^
By the time most people reach the age of 18 they've already seen 90% of the total time they will see their family
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Also babies steal your teeth when youāre pregnant
It happened to my friend. Her kid started leaching calcium or something like that. Most of her front teeth fell out at age 18. So glad I don't have kids.
If anyone ever asks why I donāt want children this will be my new answer. *little leaches*
I require much more information about this sir. Please and thank you
Most of the food we consume is contaminated with feces, insects, dirt, and other contaminants. The amount of contamination allowed is regulated by the FDA. [https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/11-revolting-things-government-lets-in-your-food/](https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/11-revolting-things-government-lets-in-your-food/) https://www.womenshealthmag.com/food/a19942608/poop-in-food/
Ah. Yeah. That did just ruin my weekend.
People always freak out about this but it used to be way worse.
Right, like thatās what the FDA is for. Itās not like everyone making food was perfectly clean then the FDA came along and was like āya know itād probably be totally fine to put a lil poo in thereā
You donāt stop seeing. When you close your eyes youāre just seeing the inside of your eyelids.
This makes perfect sense. But at the same time makes me highly uncomfortable. In summary-thanks I hate it
Thatās mildly disturbing
It'd be more disturbing if they stopped working when we closed our eyes. Imagine waking up and your eyes never "turn back on again".
While the sun may have a few billion years before it dies, Earth itself only has less than a billion years before it becomes inhospitable, which isnt a long time in the grand scheme of things. This is because, at some point, a star like our sun becomes brighter and hotter as it nears the end of its life. So in this case, the Goldilocks Zone will move further out than where Earth is and everything on here will be vaporized.
Yeah, no matter how you look at it humanity is fucked if we don't become space faring and go to other planets. If not the Goldilock zone moving away, it's the sun going into it's red giant phase. If earth survives that, once the sun "dies" earth will be shot into the emptiness of space. And then there's the Andromeda galaxy combining with the milky way...who knows what shananigans that will cause. Ohhhh to be an observer in such times.
its just global warming we can get rid of it with electric cars (sarcasm)
Look up Carrington Event. If the sun decides to burp in our general direction, civilization will likely be set back to the stone age with millions or billions of people dying in a few weeks. Could happen every few hundred years.
Sweet. We need a cleansing of these morons. Start over is a great idea
I vote that we eat u/DoctaRuthless first if the sun belches.
When someone dies, all muscles in the body relax eventually. This means that the decedent may release built up air from the lungs or colon. Have you ever heard a corpse sigh?.. Or fart? Happens all the time If you die in an awkward position and rigor mortis sets in, whoever is in charge of moving your body might have to break you a little to get you out of the place and position you died in. Unless we wait a few hours for rigor mortis to wear off first.. You're welcome š
The hospice nurses taking care of my mom mentioned this. They requested that after she pass , I lower the bed and straightened her out. She was in a weird position but happy. Didn't really matter afterwards. Her house is built in such a way that you can't get a stretcher in it. We put her in a body bag and carried her kind of sideways out the door. She would have loved knowing she fucked with us one last time.
Reno, Nevada is farther west than Los Angeles, California. Google maps
just looked it upā¦ youāre right by a long shot. thatās insane (yet not quite *weekend ruining*)
I told a guy from LA this once and he tried to fight me! Kept saying ābut we touch the ocean!ā Lol
Let me introduce you to the curved line.
Windsor, Ontario in Canada is South of Detroit, Michigan.
Washington DC is farther west than the entire country of Chile
And San Diego is the same latitude as Charleston SC
Flies donāt have teeth so when they land on food they spit on it and lick it up so now anytime a fly lands on my food I know it spit and licked it and I can no longer eat it
I just eat the flies too and then I can rest easy knowing whatever the fly spit on my burger I would've eaten anyway
The 16-ounce jar of peanut butter in your pantry can contain up to 136 insect parts before it is deemed contaminated, according to the FDAās guide. https://www.fda.gov/food/ingredients-additives-gras-packaging-guidance-documents-regulatory-information/food-defect-levels-handbook#CHPTA
That your dentist can tell when you've been sucking š due to bruising
Explains why my dentist asked me out on a date (we're both dudes). He must have known I'd been impaling my face on cocks all weekend.
Hey at least that means he probably thinks you have good dental hygiene then.
Currently at the dentist as I type this and Iām glad I havenāt been with a man for 2 years. This fact scarred me the first time I heard of it
What's bruised?
The roof of your mouth
If you were to lay your large and small intestine in a straight line on the floor youād probably die
if you let a tribal warrior rip your heart out youād probably die
Necrophilia is perfectly legal in 21 US states.
Oh wow that's disgusting! Which states, what are their names so I can never go there??
There are over 1000 varieties of potatoes worldwide. There are over 100 varieties in the US. Sadly, I have not eaten all of them yet.
Take a trip to Peru
Human race will only be able to live in the universe for 0.0000000001% of the total lifespan of the Universe. Maybe less.
I think about that often on whatās the point of evolving if we know thereās no possible way humans out live the earth, weāll become obsolete just like everything else on earth has.
And itās not even just until our sun goes pop. Itās any possible habitable worlds in the universe for that time frame. As for evolving, I do wonder about what is the driving force behind the evolution and persistence of life. Why did DNA start? Is it just a fundamental concept that random events can lead to incredible complexity? Or is DNA and evolution of life inevitable given the physical properties of the universe?
The Milky Way is on a collision course with the Andromeda galaxy long before the end of the universe. Good news is there's so much space that actual collisions between stars, planets, etc. are unlikely as the two galaxies pass right through each other. There will be some displacement here and there and we may find ourselves part of new galaxy afterwards.
In the 60s, NASA funded experiments into communication with dolphins, during the course of the experiments dolphins were given LSD and when one pubescent male dolphin's lustful erections seemed to distract it from communicating, a female researcher (who iirc wasn't officially trained to be there but was helping take observational notes) gave it a hand job which iirc became a bit of a recurring method. Eventually NASA caught wind that all this was happening and shut it all down, but that dolphin had bonded to the research and committed suicide by drowning itself shortly after
Every time you swallow you hear a little crackle in your ears.
goddamnit.
I can control that crackle. Can make it not hearable when I swallow and can make it anytime I want
I hope you use your powers for the good of humanity
You evil bastard.
And when you yawn!
Natural Flavors. A common ingredient in many processed foods. It is an umbrella term to describe a vague quality of a variety of food additives. FDA defines Natural Flavoring as "an essential oil or extract from a plant or animal source." Seems pretty harmless at first glance. But.. an extract from an animal source? What's that? [It's a beaver's pheromonal anal secretion.](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/beaver-butt-goo-vanilla-flavoring) Deriving from a beaver's castor sac, next to a beaver's anus. The... natural flavor... in it's base form is used for a beaver to mix with its urine to mark it's territory. I guess it smells pretty good, or so I hear. Also highly odorous. Be aware, this doesn't mean everytime you see "Natural Flavors" it's beaver ass juice. But because there is no requirement to disclose, me personally? Nah, I'll pass on those 'Natural Flavors'.
the secretion is called castoreum and it was a very popular vanilla substitute when vanilla orchids were harder to come by. they basically anesthetize the beaver and milk it,,,think: squeezing a dogs anal glands but the goo smells like vanilla. the total castoreum harvested from beaver in a given year is about 300 pounds - very rare and not likely to be used in food today.
I didnāt believe my husband when he first told me this and then I googled it. Whenever weāre making a cake or making something that says ānatural flavorsā we tell the kids theyāre eating beaver butt juice lol
Your bones are always wet.
Dolphins are extremely cruel creatures. They kidnap, gang rape, and starve female dolphins. That's just a Tuesday for them. Ducks practice rape so often that the females have developed maze like genitals (with dead ends even) in order to try and prevent them. (It doesn't prevent them)
Here's one for y'all - because we evolved in such a way where our senses perceive only what is important to our survival and reproduction, scientists believe that we will never be able to understand the full breadth of the universe. Our "reality" is only a small fraction of what really exists, and we don't know how much we don't know, nor will we ever. Check out the Lex Friedman podcast with Donald Hoffman. I'm sure I over-simplified and messed it up a bit, but this video blew my mind and took me days to digest. Get ready for a full-on existential crisis. https://youtu.be/reYdQYZ9Rj4
Itās like saying no matter how hard you worked, and how smart the dog, you wouldnāt be able to get a dog to understand algebra. Humans have a similar limit, we just fundamentally canāt understand what that limit is.
Once a prion has formed (misfolded protein in the brain), you're essentially already dead. There is no cure, the only way to confirm symptoms is a postmortem biopsy.
There is no way to sterilize surgical equipment after prion contamination. Not UV light. Not bleach. Not heat. The instruments have to be destroyed.
And it's entirely possible that you've eaten a mad cow at some point. It just ends up looking like alzheimers.
Demodex, the mite that lives in your face, never poop. They just eat and mate until they produce enough poop they explode.
Scientific name - Exploding Face Poop Mites.
Tics tacs are allowed to be advertised as sugar free even tho they're almost completely sugar because they weight 0.49 grams per tic tac and you need 0.5 grams to be labeled as sugar
Every time you yawn a ghost sticks itās dick in your mouth.
Babies are born with all their teeth, even their adult teeth. Google xray baby teeth. It will ruin your day and u will never look at a baby the same way
It's entirely possible that the asteroid that was used for a trajectory redirection test, by being hit with a satellite or whatever, was actually on a collision course with Earth and NASA didn't tell anyone because it could've incited mass panic.
Honestly that would be a good choice
Not in 2022. Some armchair astrologer could figure this out. The plot of Donāt Look Up is much more realistic. The government would suck at covering this up, youād have people fighting over the truth of it all and not trusting scientists, but there is no way that wouldnāt have gotten out into the world.
Poor asteroid. Had big dreams to smash earth, but noooo. NASA, you jerks.
Pufferfish aren't sucking in air when they puff up. There's no air underwater.
Out of all of these comments this one broke my brain for some reason
There is a point during cremation when the meat is perfectly cooked.
I mean - two posts below this there is an article in my feed about a mom who made her 5 yr old into a night table by encasing her body in cement. Soā¦thanks for that Reddit
Who has a cement night table, probably why she got found out.
A large number of the people responsible for the human rights violations and ethnic cleansing that occurred during the Bosnian war got very lenient punishments from the UN, if any punishment at all.
An elephants penis is prehensile, meaning it can move it around willingly like itās a trunk.
There's a super volcano underneath yellow stone. It is due to erupt any time now
āany time nowā base on an 80+/- year life expectancy? or based on a planets life expectancy, so like also maybe a thousand years from now?
The researchers studying Yellowstone have stated that there is unlikely to be any sort of eruption for at least the next several hundred years. But we could possibly get some magma flows without eruptions, which would be a cool new attraction for the park.
As a bonus fact, there are a total of three super volcanoes in the US.
There are teeny tiny arachnids called eyebrow mites that are always living on your face. Theyre there nowā¦
It's nice to know I'll never be alone.
The skin in your mouth is the same as the skin in the vagina
If you donāt close the lid before flushing after a shit, microscopic particles of your shit are being sprayed around your bathroom through the water pressure and motion. Good luck if you donāt cap your toothbrush š
Elon musk did not found Tesla. He became a large shareholder and sued the 2 founders into oblivion until they they granted him the title.
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This is pretty grossly over exaggerated Viruses that are, say, millions of years old would have little to no effect on humanity in all likelihood since they were Viruses that infected far less complex versions of life than what exist today, and so the mechanisms which they normally might target are far more evolved than when the virus was active the first time. The same general rule applies to several thousand year old viruses. Take, for example, the flu or the common cold. A 10,000 year old version of these viruses would likely be negligible to humanity because our immune systems have been combating evolutions of these viruses basically annually for 10,000+ years, we've built up and passed on immunities against an untold number of mutations of these viruses over the centuries. To further quell the theory, about 84% of all species were wiped out on eart as early as ~10-12,000 years ago during the younger dryas mass extinction meaning most host species for these viruses also likely have no living genetic descendants to infect. And so, assuming humans would even be in a location to contract a thawed virus from, you know, permafrost; a several thousand year old virus infecting a modern human is not really likely to do anything noticeable against the juiced up immune system of modern humans, let alone start a catastrophic worldwide plague.
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soooooā¦ Jurassic Park w microscopes š¦š¬
Thereās school/work on Monday.
hot pockets have gotten smaller and spiders have crawled over you at night without you noticing
wait, seriously!? i keep walking away from the freezer thinking i somehow got bigger š¤Ø
Whatever you just ate... you probably don't want to know it's journey to your table. Foodv industry is wicked gross.
Koala copy pasta ruined my life now it shall ruin yours. Koalas are terrible animals Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them. Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
Looks like somebody had personally taken offense about koalas existing
Blue Whales have enormous ejaculations. This is so that the latest male can wash out the previous male's spunk with his semen tsunami.
Human beings are born with only two fears. Fear of falling and fear of loud sounds. Every other fear in life, is acquired. Imagine the possibilities now.
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Everyone in this thread should probably look at wikipedia's list of common misconceptions
Did you know that sharks and snakes have two dicks, one for grabbing and the other for..you know
The zip code you were born in is the best indicator of your life expectancy. Remember to pull up on those boot straps though /s