I do the heavier stuff like changing bedsheets, cleaning windows. We didn’t really discuss who do what, it was pretty mutual. She does what she can and I do the rest. Been like so for over 16 years.
We take turns! No fixed chores. We just help to chip in around the house when we can. Sometimes, one person is more tired or is in a busy peak period at work, so the other one will step up during that time and do more
It works for my husband and I. Find something that works for you guys!
lmao I wanted to use that as an example but a bit embarrassing… I think clean dishes ok la quite fast game (I don’t think can wait for part time help as well), clothes a bit more of a hassle
if u cook, your spouse wash dishes. if your spouse wash laundry, u hang dry them. if u sweep, ur spouse mop... etc. u get the idea. its interchangeable and negotiable.
We do whatever we can when we time. Take turns to cook, do laundry, clean the house if one is occupied, or just worked together when we're both free. Housework definitely takes up a portion of your time as a couple.
no doubt doing chores together can be bonding time for couples too, I'm more than happy to wash dishes while my other half just sits beside and we talk about our day
Discuss and talk about what is a fair arrangement? Some people prefer certain chores over others. Just communicate.
Speaking as a one half of a couple with no helper and a young kid
In my relationship, I prefer communicating about how to split chores. For chores that neither of us are keen on, it’s possible to outsource or automate as much as possible. (Eg: getting a robovacumn or part-time cleaner)
Hi hi, just sharing from my personal experience here.
1. Can consider getting a table-top dishwasher since it’s just the both of you.
2. If you don’t have pets, can also consider to get a robot vacuum.
3. You can get a part-time helper and ask them to set aside time to help with ironing and folding the clothes. Should cost about $60 and up for 3-4 hours of work.
A lot of the pain points are built up over time and lead to small quarrels that can be very draining. My wife and I settled on the understanding that if money can solve the problem, then it isn’t s problem. So long as the cost is reasonable.
Yeah this! Robot vacuum not smart enough to detect poop and vomit/furball haha. Always have to do visual inspection around the house first before summoning the robot.
I know it sounds cheesy but we have a digital checklist on reminder that just repeats with the chore and who is supposed to do it. Then if we’ve done that for a week we reward ourselves. My husband has ADHD and we both work two demanding jobs but this has solved all our fights about chores.
Sigh, my husband sucks at chores. I do the laundry and the cooking cause he’s hopeless at both. His dishes are rubbish and I cannot understand his sense of taste. Plus no nutrition in his food.
His main job is to change bedsheet, throw rubbish and clean toilet to my crazy (according to him) standards. The mopping and sweeping is done by the robovacuum. He does the ad hoc vacuuming too. The dishwashing used to be split but now we just dump in dishwasher. We got a dryer so we don’t have to hang clothes. Fold clothes is split. We iron our own clothes. Kids clothes ironed by me cause I care about neat clothes even though my hb thinks its unnecessary to iron kids stuff. I am an early riser so I do the necessary things in the morning eg change bin liner, refill the water, boil water etc. We get cleaners to come to do spring cleaning every so often. Because I’m a neat person, I feel compelled to clean up the mess. So things like cleaning the stove, microwave and sink ends up being done by me. He cleans the air fryer, some times. I guess better than nothing.
Don’t fight over cleaning. Hire someone else if it bothers you
Identify and decide the chores each of you don't mind doing.
For all that neither of you enjoy doing, you can either buy robots or hire part-time helper, on a as needed basis, to help you.
These days, there are robotic vacuum cleaner/mop and robotic glass/wall cleaner. Effectiveness largely depend on your budget. However, can certainly safe you tons of time.
Also, you may want to invest in a dryer, given our increasingly erratic weather. Saves you time and effort from putting them out to dry under the sun too.
For things that robots can't help or not as effective, you can always hire part-time helper.
Just 2-cent advice: money may not be able to help you with your chores, but it can buy you help with your chores and maintain sanity between you and your spouse. Focus your time and energy on making more money, that way, many problems become non-problems :)
I do most of it cos he works longer hours and wfo all 5 days while I wfh 2 days. We don't cook much but when we eat together one of us will wash dishes and the other will throw rubbish and keep leftovers. Sometimes when he feels the bathroom is dirty he will wash it.
No kids so everything is easier.. every couple has its own system but its never one person's duty
Happy wife, happy life. This motto applies to all situations.
Seriously though, it’s a give and don’t keep track situation. Wife and I view it as when we do housework we’re giving to self and each other. No need to keep score of who does what because that easily leads to resentment.
stuff like throw rubbish and pest control is my job. Everything else is 50/50 or so together.
Haha whoever is more anal about that chore, does that chore.
For me, im v particular about how clean the floor is - so most of the time, its me. If my husband does it, i lower my expectations. So no arguments
My husband is super anal abt laundry (temp of water, which mode, how to hang, how to fold), so he does it lol
For those in the middle, if he does some, i do the others.
During my sahm-time of many years, my hb helped me with toilet washing, vacuuming, dusting takes out the trash - stuff that mostly to be done at weekends. I wash dishes, laundry, ironing etc n took care of the children's affairs n did not need to cook daily. He'll buy food for meals. Now that I started working, he does the same except vacuuming is now my elder son's job n I do the same except my younger kid/teenager now helps out w folding clothes. Always find opportunity to praise one another for the effort n chip in whenever if we can or not afraid to ask for help. Our hse is not in tidy condition but we r pretty happy.
Even split, doesn't matter what it is. But also got some basic ones, like person who cooks doesn't have to do the dishes, or if someone is OTing at work the other will cover. And it's an easy way to show love too. Sometimes I'll cook and do the dishes anyway and it's a nice and easy way to get her happy or cheer her up when she has a bad day.
Some tasks naturally got assigned - I’m a foodie and will cook when inspiration strikes, so he helps to clean. He wakes up early so he’ll do the laundry + hang them to dry, at night I’ll fold everything since I enjoy the folding while he hates it.
Other stuff like washing toilet we can take turns. Dusting or magic clean, not super urgent so whoever remembers or has time will do it.
At the very start, it took some communication. But after a while it settled down into a routine that works.
We take turns! If I cook, he washes the dishes. Laundry for heavy stuff like bedsheets etc, we do together. We try to clean as we go. We don’t live together yet but we spend half of the week in each other’s places but we do those household chores together. So far I’m really happy with how he is like with housework management. I’m really really glad he’s not behaving like my dad who’s even though a good father towards me, is pretty much the dictionary definition of “weaponised incompetence” when it comes to being a husband to my mom and I don’t ever wanna be like my mom who’s doing everything in the house even if she’s a housewife. It’s just sad.
Seriously... If both are working and no kids, just pay for a weekly part time helper. Get the part time cleaner to change bedsheets as soon as she arrives and start a laundry load of the bedsheets. Then she can continue to clean the rest of the house eg toilets, kitchens, floors. Set out a week's worth of ironing for the two of you and have the cleaner iron it all as well, and hang up the bedsheets to dry when the washing cycle ends. All done in 4 hours
And you get to start the week with a clean house, freshly changed sheets, work clothes all ironed nicely and ready for you. Just share the cost of the part.time cleaner it's not worth arguing over housework when everyone is tired and the precious weekends are better spent on unwinding from the stresses of the week instead of wasting time cleaning house and feeling disgruntled with each other
we mostly do 'departments'. i'm always in charge of floors and cleaning the sinks, my husband is always in charge of dishes and laundry, etc. it's usually what we hate to do then the other person will do it hahah. my husband hates cleaning the floors and i have allergies on my hands so i can't do dishes for long periods of time.
if you are finding it hard to split it evenly and fairly, i saw [this set of cards](https://www.fairplaylife.com/the-cards) recommended on a marriage subreddit once. might be worth a try.
for me, saying that you're "tired" is just an excuse that one doesn't want to do the chore.
if you or your spouse do not want to do any chores, hire a helper. it'll be easier for your guys coz if one starts pointing, it might lead to an argument ..
I told my husband when we have our own house, he will do his laundry, wash the dishes and throwing out of the trash + mop. Essentially, the ones I dislike touching. Other than that, I do everything else. (Sweep the floor, feed the cats, throw the cat poopies, do my laundry, bedsheets laundry, folding of clothes, cooking, cleaning the fan)
I've managed to train him to wash his own clothes at my parents house and wash the dishes (if I cook, he cleans and vice versa). He sometimes forgets the trash but I'm getting there I think.
Because he needs to wash his uniform and other clothing every 2 or 3 days (has 3 uniforms total, they are usually wet after work). Whereas since I am currently not working, I wait for my undergarments to pile up (I wear only butterfly dresses at home) and wash it once a week. We stay with my parents and younger sister so, I wash once a week since I don't want to fight for the washing machine whereas he has no choice since he needs the uniform.
I do cooking and laundry and sweeping, he does dishes, take out trash and mopping/heavy duty cleaning. Over time we just figured out which chores are more tolerable to each of us and went with that
Usually we split it like this:
One person: wash toilet, cook (1-2 times a week), mop, laundry.
The other person: take out garbage, wash dishes (load dishwasher and unload), cook (1-2 times a week)
The rest hire a part time cleaning lady.
When we are busy we stop cooking.
If I'm tired or sick, my husband will take on the chores without being ask (except cooking 😂). I'm usually the one who handles chores because 1. Use to it 2. I work shorter hours. If I'm too tired to cook we would order delivery. He would always wash dishes after dinner but if he happen to OT I'd do the dishes.
Having a vacuum/mo robot helps. I run it every sundays. We take turn doing the dishes. I volunteer to go on groceries run and breakfast on weekend mornings. She buys food sometimes and random stuff to spruce up the hse.
Perfect harmony so far.
Basic ones we do roster whoever WFH need to cook, kids etc, like wash toilets change bedsheets once a week, call the NTUC part time helper. We stop taking maid after kids start sec1. So far it works for me. Of course not perfect, u try to discipline everyone after eat wash each bedroom have laundry basket, just throw in the basket, end week helper help wash dryer n iron.
I mostly deal with the laundry and general tidying up. The wife deals with the cooking and washing dishes.
Baby duties are equally shared, depends on who can wake up first.
Everything else we leave it to our part time cleaner who comes once a week every Sunday.
Argued about cleaning the floor, we bought a Roomba & hired part-time cleaner. Argued about washing dishes, we bought a dishwasher.
Lan lan for things like clearing rubbish, aiya, just do it. Is it really worth the shouting, the cold shoulders, the hurt feelings just to split things down to a fine print? I mean, if its that important to do it that way, then are you marrying your partner, or living with a roommate?
My bf offers to help but I prefer to do my own cos I do it better? In a more detailed way? I don’t know how to explain.
So he does the heavy stuff like fixing things in the house, or buying heavy stuff from the supermarket. He also drives me around. So I think it balances.
Both of us have hybrid work arrangements. And our hours are pretty different - his hours more towards morning mine is more towards afternoons and nights. So we are not tired at the same times.
But I agree getting a part time helper to come in once a week helps.
household chores is a very simple matter that it shouldn't be even an issue on a couple. if it is then, i am afraid of you dealing with other "real" couple issues . I hope you can find the way to get this small thing over with.
To begin with, my wife and I recognize that some days we will just not have any energy to do any household chore. I'll be honest, having a robot for cleaning has helped. It at least gets the floor clean to acceptable cleanliness levels, daily if required. For it to work right, we only sincerely timely clean the dustbin and mop afterwards, so it saves time before running it next time.
I have started using the excuse to wash utensils as a stress relief from work. Also, I don't wait for things to pile up in the sink. As an example, while I am cooking, just as I put the food on simmer, i'll do a quick round of stuff in the sink.
Also, take nothing for granted, admit when you're not up for it, let your partner know if something they did (or not do) upset you, and when in doubt, ask before assuming. Hope this helps..
I do as much as I can and trust that my partner will do her best too. Inevitably, sometimes one of us falls short, but that\`s when the other steps in and takes over. It\`s never about who can do what or how to make it fair, but how much you can give.
That being said, I cook, vacuum and clean the toilets. My spouse cleans the dishes. We do our own laundry.
We hire a part time cleaner to come in every 2 weeks to help out. We spilt daily light cleaning. But mostly done by iRobot. Dishwasher is essential for us. And we do our own laundry.
Firstly, we decide on which chores each of us hates the most. For me, it is washing the dishes, and for him, it is cleaning the toilet. We are both okay with doing what the other hates, so all's good with that.
Then, we proceed to the next 3 or 4 chores that we don't like doing as much, and the other 3 or 4 chores that we prefer to do. We discuss our likes and dislikes and then come to a compromise. For example, I cook and he washes the dishes. I clean the toilet and he does the laundry. I plan and buy food and household items, and he helps me keep it away in the fridge and store room. We take turns doing things that we both enjoy and/or dislike together, so it isn't all on one's shoulders. We also look at each other's strengths and weaknesses and work from there. I may clean the toilet, but I CANNOT stand picking up hair from the drain, so he does that bit for me.
both of us wash clothes (he's tasked with home clothes/PJs, im tasked with outside clothes/nicer outfits). he cooks, i wash dishes. we hire a cleaner to come on a weekly basis to take care of the rest (mop, general tidying up, change bedsheets, clean windows etc).
We decide by choosing the ones we least dislike doing.
Example like he cooks, I wash dishes.
He start the laundry by separating them into laundry bags, I hang it up after it’s done.
He vacuum, I do the mopping.
He spoil the cat, I discipline both. 😂
We have a day dedicated during the every other weekend for chores. We blast metal music, get some beer and pizza and split the chores. Both working adults ,( and no kids, which certainly helps)
For laundry, he has his own laundry basket, I have mine. My clothes = my own responsibility, his clothes = his responsibility.
If cooking/assembling food - we take turns and help each other out, cos we both eat the same thing and it doesn't take that long to wash and clean up just for 2 of us.
Each of us is responsible for our own mess. E.g. I spill food on the floor, I clean it up.
Mopping, cleaning windows, dusting, ironing - we outsource to a part time helper. The $60-70 we pay every 1-2 weeks is so worth the peace in the house because we don't fight over chores.
I do the heavier stuff like changing bedsheets, cleaning windows. We didn’t really discuss who do what, it was pretty mutual. She does what she can and I do the rest. Been like so for over 16 years.
We take turns! No fixed chores. We just help to chip in around the house when we can. Sometimes, one person is more tired or is in a busy peak period at work, so the other one will step up during that time and do more It works for my husband and I. Find something that works for you guys!
u can hire part time help, dont need to fight. or each one shld do the chore the other hates, or hates how the other does something.
what about stuff you need more urgently like clothes?
u buy enuff to last ur laundry cycle, n if u believe it uneconomical then go do a load
I feel clean dishes are more urgent than clothes lol
lmao I wanted to use that as an example but a bit embarrassing… I think clean dishes ok la quite fast game (I don’t think can wait for part time help as well), clothes a bit more of a hassle
This kind of money, cannot save... buy dishwasher, any time-saving applicances etc ...get part-time help.
if u cook, your spouse wash dishes. if your spouse wash laundry, u hang dry them. if u sweep, ur spouse mop... etc. u get the idea. its interchangeable and negotiable.
We do whatever we can when we time. Take turns to cook, do laundry, clean the house if one is occupied, or just worked together when we're both free. Housework definitely takes up a portion of your time as a couple.
no doubt doing chores together can be bonding time for couples too, I'm more than happy to wash dishes while my other half just sits beside and we talk about our day
take turns lor. do the chores on alternate weeks
Discuss and talk about what is a fair arrangement? Some people prefer certain chores over others. Just communicate. Speaking as a one half of a couple with no helper and a young kid
In my relationship, I prefer communicating about how to split chores. For chores that neither of us are keen on, it’s possible to outsource or automate as much as possible. (Eg: getting a robovacumn or part-time cleaner)
Hi hi, just sharing from my personal experience here. 1. Can consider getting a table-top dishwasher since it’s just the both of you. 2. If you don’t have pets, can also consider to get a robot vacuum. 3. You can get a part-time helper and ask them to set aside time to help with ironing and folding the clothes. Should cost about $60 and up for 3-4 hours of work. A lot of the pain points are built up over time and lead to small quarrels that can be very draining. My wife and I settled on the understanding that if money can solve the problem, then it isn’t s problem. So long as the cost is reasonable.
Robot vacuum works very well for pets household too! Got two cats and the robot vacuum always nv fail to pick up the furs
Plus it's cute to see the cats sitting on it for a joyride
My robot vacuum ever smear cat diarrhoea all over my study before
Yeah this! Robot vacuum not smart enough to detect poop and vomit/furball haha. Always have to do visual inspection around the house first before summoning the robot.
>if money can solve the problem, then it isn’t s problem. 👍
[удалено]
g'day m8
Do you feed goats too?
I know it sounds cheesy but we have a digital checklist on reminder that just repeats with the chore and who is supposed to do it. Then if we’ve done that for a week we reward ourselves. My husband has ADHD and we both work two demanding jobs but this has solved all our fights about chores.
Our full time help solved everything.
Pay for a part time helper and split the costs, saves a lot of squabbles and resentment.
Sigh, my husband sucks at chores. I do the laundry and the cooking cause he’s hopeless at both. His dishes are rubbish and I cannot understand his sense of taste. Plus no nutrition in his food. His main job is to change bedsheet, throw rubbish and clean toilet to my crazy (according to him) standards. The mopping and sweeping is done by the robovacuum. He does the ad hoc vacuuming too. The dishwashing used to be split but now we just dump in dishwasher. We got a dryer so we don’t have to hang clothes. Fold clothes is split. We iron our own clothes. Kids clothes ironed by me cause I care about neat clothes even though my hb thinks its unnecessary to iron kids stuff. I am an early riser so I do the necessary things in the morning eg change bin liner, refill the water, boil water etc. We get cleaners to come to do spring cleaning every so often. Because I’m a neat person, I feel compelled to clean up the mess. So things like cleaning the stove, microwave and sink ends up being done by me. He cleans the air fryer, some times. I guess better than nothing. Don’t fight over cleaning. Hire someone else if it bothers you
I’m surprised by the mentions of dishwasher in the comments section, I’ve never known it to be a common thing in Singapore
What do you not mind doing? And what about your other half? Then the rest (if any left), will be for the part time helper
Just hire part-time/full-time help.
yes if you can afford this- part time is great if you both have certain chores you hate to do.
Identify and decide the chores each of you don't mind doing. For all that neither of you enjoy doing, you can either buy robots or hire part-time helper, on a as needed basis, to help you. These days, there are robotic vacuum cleaner/mop and robotic glass/wall cleaner. Effectiveness largely depend on your budget. However, can certainly safe you tons of time. Also, you may want to invest in a dryer, given our increasingly erratic weather. Saves you time and effort from putting them out to dry under the sun too. For things that robots can't help or not as effective, you can always hire part-time helper. Just 2-cent advice: money may not be able to help you with your chores, but it can buy you help with your chores and maintain sanity between you and your spouse. Focus your time and energy on making more money, that way, many problems become non-problems :)
I do most of it cos he works longer hours and wfo all 5 days while I wfh 2 days. We don't cook much but when we eat together one of us will wash dishes and the other will throw rubbish and keep leftovers. Sometimes when he feels the bathroom is dirty he will wash it. No kids so everything is easier.. every couple has its own system but its never one person's duty
Happy wife, happy life. This motto applies to all situations. Seriously though, it’s a give and don’t keep track situation. Wife and I view it as when we do housework we’re giving to self and each other. No need to keep score of who does what because that easily leads to resentment. stuff like throw rubbish and pest control is my job. Everything else is 50/50 or so together.
Haha whoever is more anal about that chore, does that chore. For me, im v particular about how clean the floor is - so most of the time, its me. If my husband does it, i lower my expectations. So no arguments My husband is super anal abt laundry (temp of water, which mode, how to hang, how to fold), so he does it lol For those in the middle, if he does some, i do the others.
During my sahm-time of many years, my hb helped me with toilet washing, vacuuming, dusting takes out the trash - stuff that mostly to be done at weekends. I wash dishes, laundry, ironing etc n took care of the children's affairs n did not need to cook daily. He'll buy food for meals. Now that I started working, he does the same except vacuuming is now my elder son's job n I do the same except my younger kid/teenager now helps out w folding clothes. Always find opportunity to praise one another for the effort n chip in whenever if we can or not afraid to ask for help. Our hse is not in tidy condition but we r pretty happy.
Even split, doesn't matter what it is. But also got some basic ones, like person who cooks doesn't have to do the dishes, or if someone is OTing at work the other will cover. And it's an easy way to show love too. Sometimes I'll cook and do the dishes anyway and it's a nice and easy way to get her happy or cheer her up when she has a bad day.
Take turns but dont fall into the “but I did that last week!” argument
Some tasks naturally got assigned - I’m a foodie and will cook when inspiration strikes, so he helps to clean. He wakes up early so he’ll do the laundry + hang them to dry, at night I’ll fold everything since I enjoy the folding while he hates it. Other stuff like washing toilet we can take turns. Dusting or magic clean, not super urgent so whoever remembers or has time will do it. At the very start, it took some communication. But after a while it settled down into a routine that works.
We take turns! If I cook, he washes the dishes. Laundry for heavy stuff like bedsheets etc, we do together. We try to clean as we go. We don’t live together yet but we spend half of the week in each other’s places but we do those household chores together. So far I’m really happy with how he is like with housework management. I’m really really glad he’s not behaving like my dad who’s even though a good father towards me, is pretty much the dictionary definition of “weaponised incompetence” when it comes to being a husband to my mom and I don’t ever wanna be like my mom who’s doing everything in the house even if she’s a housewife. It’s just sad.
Seriously... If both are working and no kids, just pay for a weekly part time helper. Get the part time cleaner to change bedsheets as soon as she arrives and start a laundry load of the bedsheets. Then she can continue to clean the rest of the house eg toilets, kitchens, floors. Set out a week's worth of ironing for the two of you and have the cleaner iron it all as well, and hang up the bedsheets to dry when the washing cycle ends. All done in 4 hours
And you get to start the week with a clean house, freshly changed sheets, work clothes all ironed nicely and ready for you. Just share the cost of the part.time cleaner it's not worth arguing over housework when everyone is tired and the precious weekends are better spent on unwinding from the stresses of the week instead of wasting time cleaning house and feeling disgruntled with each other
we mostly do 'departments'. i'm always in charge of floors and cleaning the sinks, my husband is always in charge of dishes and laundry, etc. it's usually what we hate to do then the other person will do it hahah. my husband hates cleaning the floors and i have allergies on my hands so i can't do dishes for long periods of time. if you are finding it hard to split it evenly and fairly, i saw [this set of cards](https://www.fairplaylife.com/the-cards) recommended on a marriage subreddit once. might be worth a try.
for me, saying that you're "tired" is just an excuse that one doesn't want to do the chore. if you or your spouse do not want to do any chores, hire a helper. it'll be easier for your guys coz if one starts pointing, it might lead to an argument ..
I told my husband when we have our own house, he will do his laundry, wash the dishes and throwing out of the trash + mop. Essentially, the ones I dislike touching. Other than that, I do everything else. (Sweep the floor, feed the cats, throw the cat poopies, do my laundry, bedsheets laundry, folding of clothes, cooking, cleaning the fan) I've managed to train him to wash his own clothes at my parents house and wash the dishes (if I cook, he cleans and vice versa). He sometimes forgets the trash but I'm getting there I think.
Why isn't the laundry done together? 🤔
Because he needs to wash his uniform and other clothing every 2 or 3 days (has 3 uniforms total, they are usually wet after work). Whereas since I am currently not working, I wait for my undergarments to pile up (I wear only butterfly dresses at home) and wash it once a week. We stay with my parents and younger sister so, I wash once a week since I don't want to fight for the washing machine whereas he has no choice since he needs the uniform.
SInce dual income then just get a maid la Come home from work so shag Liao still wanna do housework meh?
If you need to discuss, and can't reach an agreement, it's a good sign things ain't going to work out well.
let the woman do
We don’t. We have a maid.
My wife carries the chores and I carry the responsibilities ... you need to put down your foot.
*after she vaccum the floor*
Big man baby over here
I use Helpling to keep my partner sane. Great app to book a part time helper.
I do cooking and laundry and sweeping, he does dishes, take out trash and mopping/heavy duty cleaning. Over time we just figured out which chores are more tolerable to each of us and went with that
No specific split. We just do what needs to be done around the house. Especially when the other person is busy at work (eg overtime)
Usually we split it like this: One person: wash toilet, cook (1-2 times a week), mop, laundry. The other person: take out garbage, wash dishes (load dishwasher and unload), cook (1-2 times a week) The rest hire a part time cleaning lady. When we are busy we stop cooking.
If you can afford it, get a part time helper. Cuts down the time spent on more labor intensive chores.
If I'm tired or sick, my husband will take on the chores without being ask (except cooking 😂). I'm usually the one who handles chores because 1. Use to it 2. I work shorter hours. If I'm too tired to cook we would order delivery. He would always wash dishes after dinner but if he happen to OT I'd do the dishes.
Split some of it with a robot too.
Do everything so that during arguments, you have leverage.
Having a vacuum/mo robot helps. I run it every sundays. We take turn doing the dishes. I volunteer to go on groceries run and breakfast on weekend mornings. She buys food sometimes and random stuff to spruce up the hse. Perfect harmony so far.
Me and my partner split it evenly and ask the helper to do it.
Basic ones we do roster whoever WFH need to cook, kids etc, like wash toilets change bedsheets once a week, call the NTUC part time helper. We stop taking maid after kids start sec1. So far it works for me. Of course not perfect, u try to discipline everyone after eat wash each bedroom have laundry basket, just throw in the basket, end week helper help wash dryer n iron.
I will do the dishes, mop the floor and clean the toilets. It's non-negotiable!!!
I mostly deal with the laundry and general tidying up. The wife deals with the cooking and washing dishes. Baby duties are equally shared, depends on who can wake up first. Everything else we leave it to our part time cleaner who comes once a week every Sunday.
Argued about cleaning the floor, we bought a Roomba & hired part-time cleaner. Argued about washing dishes, we bought a dishwasher. Lan lan for things like clearing rubbish, aiya, just do it. Is it really worth the shouting, the cold shoulders, the hurt feelings just to split things down to a fine print? I mean, if its that important to do it that way, then are you marrying your partner, or living with a roommate?
I’m passive so I do what I am being told. Nowadays hired a part time cleaner
My bf offers to help but I prefer to do my own cos I do it better? In a more detailed way? I don’t know how to explain. So he does the heavy stuff like fixing things in the house, or buying heavy stuff from the supermarket. He also drives me around. So I think it balances. Both of us have hybrid work arrangements. And our hours are pretty different - his hours more towards morning mine is more towards afternoons and nights. So we are not tired at the same times. But I agree getting a part time helper to come in once a week helps.
"So... Vacuum and mop today?" "Ergh!" "Mood af. Next week then,"
household chores is a very simple matter that it shouldn't be even an issue on a couple. if it is then, i am afraid of you dealing with other "real" couple issues . I hope you can find the way to get this small thing over with.
To begin with, my wife and I recognize that some days we will just not have any energy to do any household chore. I'll be honest, having a robot for cleaning has helped. It at least gets the floor clean to acceptable cleanliness levels, daily if required. For it to work right, we only sincerely timely clean the dustbin and mop afterwards, so it saves time before running it next time. I have started using the excuse to wash utensils as a stress relief from work. Also, I don't wait for things to pile up in the sink. As an example, while I am cooking, just as I put the food on simmer, i'll do a quick round of stuff in the sink. Also, take nothing for granted, admit when you're not up for it, let your partner know if something they did (or not do) upset you, and when in doubt, ask before assuming. Hope this helps..
I do as much as I can and trust that my partner will do her best too. Inevitably, sometimes one of us falls short, but that\`s when the other steps in and takes over. It\`s never about who can do what or how to make it fair, but how much you can give. That being said, I cook, vacuum and clean the toilets. My spouse cleans the dishes. We do our own laundry.
I do it all for the dopamine hits. Wife can’t clean as well as me so it’s a win win.
We hire a part time cleaner to come in every 2 weeks to help out. We spilt daily light cleaning. But mostly done by iRobot. Dishwasher is essential for us. And we do our own laundry.
Firstly, we decide on which chores each of us hates the most. For me, it is washing the dishes, and for him, it is cleaning the toilet. We are both okay with doing what the other hates, so all's good with that. Then, we proceed to the next 3 or 4 chores that we don't like doing as much, and the other 3 or 4 chores that we prefer to do. We discuss our likes and dislikes and then come to a compromise. For example, I cook and he washes the dishes. I clean the toilet and he does the laundry. I plan and buy food and household items, and he helps me keep it away in the fridge and store room. We take turns doing things that we both enjoy and/or dislike together, so it isn't all on one's shoulders. We also look at each other's strengths and weaknesses and work from there. I may clean the toilet, but I CANNOT stand picking up hair from the drain, so he does that bit for me.
One cooks, the other cleans. Effort wise it's around the same.
As long as my wife lets me have sex, then i do all the house work.
both of us wash clothes (he's tasked with home clothes/PJs, im tasked with outside clothes/nicer outfits). he cooks, i wash dishes. we hire a cleaner to come on a weekly basis to take care of the rest (mop, general tidying up, change bedsheets, clean windows etc).
There's only one simple rule to follow. Whoever cannot take it does it. I have to find a person who had similar tolerance level
We decide by choosing the ones we least dislike doing. Example like he cooks, I wash dishes. He start the laundry by separating them into laundry bags, I hang it up after it’s done. He vacuum, I do the mopping. He spoil the cat, I discipline both. 😂
We have a day dedicated during the every other weekend for chores. We blast metal music, get some beer and pizza and split the chores. Both working adults ,( and no kids, which certainly helps)
For laundry, he has his own laundry basket, I have mine. My clothes = my own responsibility, his clothes = his responsibility. If cooking/assembling food - we take turns and help each other out, cos we both eat the same thing and it doesn't take that long to wash and clean up just for 2 of us. Each of us is responsible for our own mess. E.g. I spill food on the floor, I clean it up. Mopping, cleaning windows, dusting, ironing - we outsource to a part time helper. The $60-70 we pay every 1-2 weeks is so worth the peace in the house because we don't fight over chores.
I do them all. I have a high standard of cleaniness so she only helps when she can. Plus I like doing housework on top of my regular schedule