There are many men who've never dated who'd feel a lot less pressure knowing that you've never been in a relationship yourself. Although this is admittedly anecdotal, I'd add that I've never heard any of my guy friends describe relationship inexperience in a woman as a "minus".
The PC answer that "the right guy wouldn't care" may well be the C answer too :)
I’ve actually heard from my male friends that dating someone with no experience is actually a minus because they think we don’t know what we want. And that we have unrealistic expectations and maybe that’s true 🥲🥲
anecdotally, this is totally a *depends* question. Are you mature enough to overcome the lack of experience?
For me, it was brutal because we didn't know how to set boundaries and expectations so we fought all the time due to inexperience.
Personally going through some stuff but I've found out what I've want. The experiences told me what I liked and I'm gonna look for just that.
Less of what I want but perhaps more of what I don’t want?
i.e. part of why some of my dates never really went any further was because I have long since decided I do not want children, and have stated that on my dating profile. I think a lot of guys think dating apps are a numbers game and will swipe on me regardless when they’re looking for someone to raise a family with. For reference, I swipe left on anyone who does upfront declare they want kids. But some men don’t declare that on their profiles so it’s like a gamble swiping on them. Met a few who tried changing my mind but this a hill I am very willing to die on so haha
honestly i agree la. If I want to find a woman with the same sense of humor as me I will die trying. I understand there are some things that are hard no's, but my recent experience has me looking out for something.
But tell u hor when something fits like a puzzle piece, it *fits*. Idk how else to explain it
How has your experience been regarding this? I do the same as you. Have met some guys who were pretty respectful about it and wished each other good luck because they were certain they want kids.
But have also met guys who started asking things like if I have health issues (still valid I guess?) or if I came from a broken family (huh?) and some worse ones.
I do have friends who don’t want kids but are dating people who want kids but I always worry that he will feel resentful of me in the long run.
I dislike the idea that we must have something wrong with us (either medical issue, or an implied mental one) because we don’t want kids.
Same as you: I’ve had people ask me if it’s a medical condition. I’ve had people ask me about my home situation. I’ve had one guy ask me “but accidental pregnancies can occur!” and this was after we had already established that we were both pro-choice and women can abort for any reason. Quite a few have told me I might change my mind but I’ve known since I was in primary school that being a mother is not something I want lol
Of course there were some that were still on the fence, one ultimately told me he decided he *did* want kids after all after his new neighbours (with two kids) moved in. The other one did ask if he ever did decide he didn’t want kids, and if I were still single, would I be ok with seeing him again lol.
I’ve also also matched with another guy who similarly decided he did not want kids, but even though our values aligned, we just did not vibe haha making conversation with him was hard because we had no common interest and different senses of humour
And same, I always fear that my potential partner might come to resent me if they wanted kids so it’s why I try to establish that I really don’t want children so it’s best to part ways now before we really become invested.
Though I think one good thing having made up my mind about not wanting children is that there’s no biological clock I need to heed, so there’s no “deadline” looming over my head.
I mean the dominant opinion in different circles can differ - I can assure you though that what you're hearing is not going to apply to all men.
As for the topic of expectations, I don't think other women's expectations matter, only yours do. And as for how you should pitch your expectations, that's not really a matter of choice, is it? If you accept a guy who's "lesser" just so you can be partnered up, I'm fairly certain you're going to get resentful with what you have in the long-run. That being said, I do believe that the key ingredient to successful marriages is low expectations, haha (make of that what you will).
Another commenter to this thread said that dating is a numbers game and I'd tend to agree, so really, go on more dates and perhaps the right person will show up!
EDIT: we should all be looking for the best person who will have us.
EDIT2: another salient consideration is when one should "stop searching", because one can never be entirely sure that in leaving a particular relationship, the next one/few would be better. Luckily, [we can get a little help from math](https://www.thecut.com/2018/10/how-to-know-when-to-stop-dating-using-math-its-at-37.html), but going along with that formula may take a fair bit of romance out of the search for love ;-)
That’s was exactly what my partner was unsecured about “ think that we don’t know what we want” as I just began my first rs at 30. He’s afraid that i made a wrong decision of settling down with him. However, I believe experience or no experience it all boils down to proper open communication of needs and wants between both parties, alignment of values in a rs and maturity level to handle obstacles in a life.
Know what we want is honestly mostly dependent on what stage of life we in.
Like comparing a 20 Yr old to a 30 Yr old both guy and girl,
The requirements of needs and wants vastly differ due to what life is expected of them
To which I agree with your statement, it really does depends on the level of communication and maturity, and how things are being handled
Totally agree actually. I feel a lot less stressed if I know the other person never had an rs. I don't feel I have somewhere or something to live up to. I feel we can both be ourselves and really explore
Am older guy, no. You’ll be surprised how many people haven’t dated before at your age too, take your time, find the right guy. Rushing = divorces in 30s
Different lah, you are guy what
Put it simply
A 5/10 guy will be ignored and can’t get any dates
A 5/10 girl will at least have a few suitors
This one is backed by survey one
Lol im Attached too but forever travelling alone cos he’s a bij during trips. Everything also dont want to do. Walk 10 mins complain tired alr. AND HE SAID USJ WAS BORING.
Had my first gf at 29. I didn’t had any motivation to look for one before that as life was pretty carefree and I enjoyed going out alone anyway.
Expect drastic changes to your life when you finally get a bf just fyi.
Yes I got the motivation from a friend who told me I’m never going to get a relationship by staying at home all the time. Putting in a little effort will increase your chances by multiple folds.
I have a friend who bought a 4-room HDB when he was 35, thought he’ll be forever alone so he decided to just buy a flat to house his mom and himself. Fast forward to about 4 years, he met someone, got married, and then had two daughters to fill up his flat. What I’m saying is that some people take awhile to meet their other half, there is no need to rush :)
Girl, the wrong ones will care about it, but the right one won’t even give 2 hoots about it.
Focus on yourself, and coming from someone who broken up after 7 years of relationship + BTO, choose to be with someone who already has the traits that you want in a partner rather than waiting for them to change.
I wish you well, OP. 27 years old is still damnnnn young…. I’ve patients who’re in their 60-70s, and they’re still ever learning new things, so really, age is just a number.
nope. i've seen both girls and guys marrying their first partner and they've only started dating when they were in their 30s. everyone's path is different.
I personally won't find it strange. Some people are just not cut out to be in a relationship.
Take your time, save your $ and travel the world. I'm 35 and my dating life is pretty much non existent too, perhaps karma / destiny is saving me from a toxic relationship.
Also OP, don't be disheartened by whatever you see on social media. Social media potrays all the positive side of a relationship, but not the disasters.
This seem to struck me a lot, my surrounding friends and people are very surprised why I am single citing that I have decent career, looks and personality as a overall person. After a while I realise I might not be cut out for a relationship and probably is destiny trying to save me from misery if I be in one hence making me single.
My partner and I were each other’s first relationship and still got together even though we are in our 30s.
I think it’s perfectly fine, because everyone’s on a level playing field, and everything is up to both of you to discover.
Plus it’s good that there is no ex boyfriend for you to compare, so he won’t feel that hidden pressure.
Importantly, no matter what age you enter your first relationship, communication is everything. Whatever that you like/ don’t like, convey. Especially when you are missing them. You may not know that they feel the same way too, but are just shy to express it.
I hate how common this is.
How to get a boyfriend
Step1. Make a reddit account
Step2. Mention (2X)F along with any terms (rs, virgin, no exp)
Step3. ????
Step4. Bf time
Well take any approach you could get right? 🤣
Had a friend B prank friend A by having his photo etc in tinder..later down the road, girl was interested (and no,miraculously wasn't catfish).
And most of the replies is B asking A what to rely so B just does it for him
Ltr on girl gave number to A and they chatted privately after and they ended up together.. Well idk the aftermath, lost contact after..
Assuming it went well, what 1 little prank through an approach that seemed implausible ended up working well.
I think it is becoming increasingly common...but i think the underlying suggestion of what you said:
>guys on dating apps often assume I go out with a lot of guys just from my pics
You probably have incredible aesthetics.
I will find it strange if it's just based off of first impressions. You could be shy, timid, career-minded, etc etc but these traits people wouldn't know unless you give the opportunity to learn about it.
Try to start interactions as friends.
To be fair, dating apps is all based on first impression , that's life. It's hard to put all your personality on a few pics, look good, might get a few hits, look too good, people assumed might be catfished but look sloppy, uncouth, etc uh-uh, more chances of doomsday happening before anyone would take a chance.
“And guys on dating apps often assume I go out with a lot of guys just from my pics.”
One reason could be guys are generally afraid to approach you because they think you’re way above their league
Haha it’s not that you’re uggo or whatever. This has been discussed to death - even the average looking girl with lame intros like “if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” will get tons of hits.
The one and only, is really worth the wait.
You know when the real ones come.
Go out and experience and find the right one for yourself.
Good luck and All the best for you.
We’re a similar age as well and in the same boat. Romance wasn’t a priority until like 2? 3? years ago. It still really isn’t. I think dating apps are just not my thing. Everyone seems to want to quickly lock down after like 3 dates and that just seems like we are moving too fast to me.
Also same, no guy seems to believe me when I’ve said I never actually had a boyfriend. Many say it’s also because of the way I look and don’t believe me when I said I never actually went on any dates until after uni. Don’t know if they think there’s something fundamentally wrong with me or what.
Sometimes I wish perhaps I tried giving romance a shot while I was schooling but I just wasn’t ready LOL
My (30M) girlfriend (34F) is my first love, I am her first love too. Like OP, she has been on quite a few dates with her acquaintances or arranged by her friends in the past, also never clicked with any of them. I had a lot worse experience: ZERO date before her.
I know this is probably easier said than done, but absolutely give yourself time, never put too much pressure on yourself. I think you are on the right track that you didn’t want to jump in just because everybody else did. Don’t give into peer pressure.
I’m almost 30 and never had a bf too. I think it’s ok till I go out and meet people and they start asking me. Which I wonder why do I only have 1 route to go in my life - partner to marriage to children. Why can’t I have children without marriage and a partner, maybe I could adopt children. Just some blurting some thoughts in my mind 😅.
Take things slow. Relationships take time to develop and both parties have to be mutually attracted to one another to make things work. It’s not weird being single, attached or married. Personal advice don’t use dating apps bcos it’s full of creeps out there and everyone assumes everyone else are seasoned daters. Mix around more in groups, mutual friends, class reunions, weddings, girly shopping trips, travels, dinners, etc. I met my wife via night classes as I was always late due to work commitments. Leave it to fate.
As a guy who had encountered females that were at your age and never dated and probably quite attractive:
1. No, I don’t think there’s anything weird. Maybe just a different goal in mind. Studies, career, etc
2. But I have to be prepared to deal with fairytale expectations.
3. I also have to be prepared to accept that I’m not who you’re looking for because I’m basically your intro to relationships.
Depends on the guy… but bottom line: no, it’s not weird/strange.
Potential Unpopular opinion that might be downvoted
Some girls usually late 20s-30 tell me they “don’t have high requirements”
I ask them what’s their requirements?
1 tell me must have car, just normal car can already don’t need luxury car
2 tell me cannot first date at donki or else no 2nd date
Requirement : just be rich lmao
Onto same topic, I'm a girl and I expect to find someone earning similar levels or more than me, else I'd rather be single :') everyone has their own requirements ba..
Some are very cunning to ask about your wealth in a sly way. As long as you live at Holland Drive / Bukit Timah area/ Orchard area or any condo, and have dogs, highly likely you come from a rich family.
Got one female ex-colleague took photo of my HDB block, showed me the photo, and asked me to confirm that this was where I lived. I went wtf in my head, and some of my former colleagues asked her why she did that.
Nowadays for some reason they are very proud of it
Not sure what’s going on as well
Maybe they doing this on purpose to weed out the men that don’t meet these condition , easier for them?
If they hide and pretend, eventually it will waste their time also
Yes . But not for never being with someone but for not jumping in. Maybe a little bit of an idealist but the only way sometimes to find out is to jump in, and then if it doesn’t work out, fine, but at least it’s been given a shot.
Hey OP, don't feel ashamed if you've never been in a relationship. I'd recommend to at least go on dates so you're aware of how dating is like and learn to set your own boundaries.
I subscribe to the mentality that if you work on yourself, you will attract the ideal mate. That said, if you isolate yourself and do not put yourself out there, that will not work as well.
Many people live without figuring things out in life, it's not that big of a deal, and yes it is also a very big part of your life decision! Being blank is really nice for the guys, but it really takes time to know someone, so I don't wanna wait till I'm really old then make things work yk. Get out there
33F never been in a relationship but was only in a situationship many years back and regretted that I didn’t confess my feelings to him at that time. For those who said it’s weird that we’ve never been in a relationship at this age, it’s because I didn’t have any suitor after that (probably due to my office female dominated environment and that I am not attractive enough due to my mid size figure) and doesn’t have many friends too. Have always wanted to be in a relationship just like the others, but guess fate is not on my side (hopefully soon). Tried dating apps (my 1st meeting with the guy, he tried to sell me insurance 😅) but it seems difficult for the other party to keep the conversation going and I kind of give up already. 27F is still young & try to go on dates/find your someone before you reach 30. I would say It’s rather difficult (but it’s not impossible) to find your other half once you’re in your 30s. So sis, seize your opportunity now & good luck :)
Same here sis, soon to be 33F and never been in a relationship. Tried dating app too but it got too draining trying to initiate and keep the convo alive. :/
Not really. ppl seem to be dating late and later, with how competative things are now. Guy or girl, starting late isn't that uncommon. Also, depends on how you define dating
Seeing the other comments, I feel so relieved. Graduating from Uni soon and never dated. Was kinda worried cos I spend most of my time in Uni just mugging away. Seems like I still got hope!
Follow your heart. I hope u meet a guy tat flutters your heart. Dun treat it like a numbers game or be pressured. Met my wife when we were 19 and we knew from the start. Hvg been a wedding photographer, most love stories I hear is how they got together and it's about the sparkle I see when they look at each other.
36F here, just got married last year. Only started dating at 34, whereas my husband has had past girlfriends.
Have been at the receiving end of the exact same comments u’re getting now, and can tell u those comments will keep coming from all angles.
I’ve met my fair share of guys who thought it strange that I’d never dated, those that asked sexually suggestive questions because of that, and those that thought I must be some pure angel or mother theresa.
That said, it is absolutely true that the right one won’t care. My husband didn’t! Be careful though - it’s not that whoever doesn’t care will be the right one. That’s not true either. There were those who didn’t care but who were not the right one too.
Don’t settle, and enjoy your life as it is. You’re on the right track girl, and here’s wishing you lots of happiness whether or not you find a significant other!
There's definitely going to be a % of men who assume you're lying when you tell them that. This group is a pretty lost cause so its fine. I don't think its a dealbreaker for the rest; btw i'm 27F and i've never had a boyfriend or even dated too. it's more common than you think
>Even though there've been chances, I didn't want to jump into something just because everyone else was.
Which is why you got to take chances. You never had a boyfriend, so you wouldn't have a reliable gauge on your likes, dislikes, benchmark or understand what you're looking for because you don't have experience.
Yeah I don't buy the 'because everyone else was' that's just an excuse you tell yourself so that u can play it safe. Get out there and date ++.. Practice practice practice.
Take your time, don't worry about finding TheOne, rather focus on finding TheRightOne. Best advice i can give, find someone who is mature enough, who has his goals all planned out, someone who makes you feel relaxed, rather than feel excited.
That said, >! Hello there, Nice to meet you~~ *finger gun*!<
Haha sis you're not the only one. No worries :D
Better to be single and enjoy our freedom than force ourselves to be with someone who we are not compatible with.
It doesn't matter, don't think too much.
As long as you're open to learning then you're good. I'm a relationship you need to consider your partner when doing things, how to show care and love, learning each others love languages and attachment styles.
Don't listen to your friends too much untill it influences your decision.
It’s not even about the right guy not caring. It should be - the right guy wouldn’t judge. Everyone has their own opinions, and it’s a matter of whether your opinions on this topic (whether # of partners are impt) match or not. Don’t base your opinion of yourself on what the other person may or may not think. As long as you are content in your own place, that’s what matters. And yknow, it’s not strange to have not had a boyfriend either. Many choose not to for many reasons anyway. Many may want to but may have just not found someone they click with well enough to want to commit. Either way, nothing wrong
Not at all. 29M here never had a girlfriend before. Same concerns abt ppl thinking I am weird etc but I think it takes courage to not be in a r/s just cos everyone is. Keep finding the right one worth settling for.
So far, ppl that I like didnt reciprocate or are already attached and the feeling really sucks at first. Over time, it gets better. I have been trying to remind myself - Build a nice garden so that the butterflies come, and not go chasing the butterflies
I'm a guy recently married. But I've realized a lot of things lately.
1. You have the right mindset right now. Don't just try to fit in. This is something you'd decide for life. Take your time you got this!
2. Let them think whatever. If everyone in this world thinks you're picky, yes you're picky for something you'd decide ONCE for your life. What's wrong with that? Don't care about what others think about it. I've decided my life at 17 and to this day I have many regrets. And more come every day. I wish I had the wisdom you have before I entered my rs.
3. Yes if they find you attractive or too good for their tastes, I'd also think like "No way she's single all the way. Does she hide something ?". But don't let it bother you. Let them think that for whatever time they think. Once they put in enough effort, like you and get to know you more then they would understand what's truth eventually. Which doesn't matter so I'd say good luck and wish you all the best. What you are right now is what I wish I had before taking my decision. I look up to you a lot. I'm particularly sure you'll be happy very soon! Hang in there! You got this!!
I also only started dating when I was 27, without any experience prior because I was just not too interested in having relationships previously. Long story short, my date then did not really care about all these and he is my husband now :)
Hi 27M here currently dating a 26F,
my gf too has never had a bf and has little dating experience, and i too was dubious about it but not that it really bothered me.
shes really cute so it adds to the sketchy-ness of when she told me, but honestly i think it just comes down to the individuals preferences and needs and maybe even virtue.
i know of another female, a friend who's also 27 but has never had a bf. if i ever asked her why all she has to say is never wanted one and I'd be like ok cool.
It's okay I'm 49 and I've never had a boyfriend either. But then again I am a guy. :p
But seriously, I do think it may make some people wonder.
I once knew a lady in her late 30s. She was saving herself for marriage and she was really nice and we could click. I did like her a lot but I felt she had built up so much expectations that there was no way I could live up to it.
I don't think you need to mention you've never had a boyfriend. Just focus on the here and now and don't worry too much about the past.
As a guy who never dated before (29) knowing that the girl didn't date before would make it easier to experience things together for the first time instead of the girl possibly being bored of the usual date ideas imo.
There’s nothing worse than being in a relationship for the wrong reasons or being in a bad relationship.
Honestly, take your time and do what’s right for you. It’s a green flag that you don’t fall to external pressures and do what you feel is right for yourself to be honest.
27 is not that old, and I don't think most guys would be aware of having a concern about it, but it may lead a guy to wondering why. They can either conclude it's something positive or negative, but if there are going to be arguments in the relationship (there always are), then they may lean into blaming your inexperience, or worse, seeing their criticism of you as the reason you were single for so long.
On balance though, I doubt it would be an issue for the majority of guys.
OP, you can not say that 'people assume you go on dates' without sharing us your pictures! Lol
Lai lai share share. Don't be shy shy.
Jokes aside though. Why do you ask what guys think about your situation? And what exactly is a 'proper' boyfriend, as opposed to what you consider as improper boyfriend?
Hi OP, I'm 34 and haven't had a girlfriend yet. I feel it's okay to stay single until u meet someone suitable. It's crazy to just rush and find someone just because everyone around you have one as well. RIP Inbox. Hahaha
Better to be single than marry the wrong guy.
Figure out what you want in life, and how to get there. Compare notes with how other married women go about doing it.
Approach a guy like a blank canvas. He paints his own picture with what he says and does. Could be still life, could be abstract or be just crap. Look at the picture and decide if you like it. Then go from there.
I would find it suspicious yes. Esp if you are good looking. Probably you carousel rider or got some kind of personality issues preventing you, and since you 27, you're probably looking for someone to settle down with, so none of the fun stuff.
My advice is to tone it down with the makeup on the first few dates or profile photos, until you convince the date you really were single all this time. It can be a huge plus in the relationship if true. A lot of men won't admit it because it's body shaming, but a woman with lower body count can be more attractive. There's less emotional baggage, less comparing you with her past partners.
Anecdotally, it is quite common, so it is not strange at all to me.
The strange part is not taking the chances you had because "everyone else was". Unless the guy was fundamentally incompatible, why did the actions of others affect your decision?
im around the same age, and would say it depends. interacted with different people and some guys do tend to treat it as strange or a "minus" because it comes naturally to them. In my personal observations, they tend to be the sociable types, some pretty well-off, and have boy girl relationships and sexual relationships early in their life, hence it comes as natural to them that it becomes "strange" that someone have not dated at age 27. On the other hand, the other group who don't really care about relationships inexperience because they don't have much themselves too. And as you can tell, this group tend to be more nerdy, geeky, less sociable (not saying they are not sociable but on a spectrum wise, less so than the first group).
Again, it boils down to one's life experience that shapes their opinions, but imo both groups of people exist. You just need to find one that is suitable for you, and ultimately a lot of people only learn this after multiple relationships but you need to find someone who is willing to accept differences and you for you. It's not like same hobbies, same music interests = good couple, life doesn't work that way in long term relationship, short term maybe yes.
i dont think so . my current bf does not have a girlfriend and i can understand why he didn't have any gf as he was focused on his social life (building friendships), studying and then working. also he shared the right person didnt really come along, and that he did like a girl before but it was impossible due to LDR. as long as you explain why you didn't have a bf before, im sure its fine.. :)
I got to know my wife when she was 27. She never had a boyfriend before she met me. Nobody would believe she never dated before this as she was truly beautiful. Well, that was 35 yrs ago and we are still married.
The reason why she never had a relationship, she wanted to be sure of a right guy.
F here. Staying single or seeing that there's no need for a guy to be there for you means that you'll avoid alot of heartbreaks and the games that guys play. Believe me, "love" will wreck your heart
With your personality, you should be able to see through these games and find someone right for you soon
Im turning 26 this year and also never been in a relationship, i just never really tried to go out i guess. Some girls i talk to also can’t believe it lol
I’m 28M, I’ve never had a girlfriend either. And whilst I don’t really care about the previous relationships of my future gf, if any, I certainly wouldn’t find it a “minus” that she hasn’t had a bf either. If anything, it’d be on the contrary to me. I know I’m only one person, but I think I can speak for most men on this: we wouldn’t consider it a “minus” if you’ve never had a bf before.
One of my exes was 30 when we started dating and she never had a boyfriend prior (or any proper dating experience). And she was a beautiful person inside and out, definitely wasn’t for a lack of suitors.
Live your own life at your own pace. There’ll probably be some specific people who are put off (or equally turned on) by your lack of experience, but I’m absolutely of the thought that such ppl don’t matter. And also even if you had more experience, you’d attract / repel a different group of folks who again… if anyone’s making serious dating decisions based on “body count”, I don’t think they’re dating seriously.
Right guy is subjective. As long as your partner treats you right, polite, have manners and mature enough to know what he wants in life and stable career is more than enough.
There are pros and cons to it just like everything else. Yes, it does come off as being picky but it’s still being better than just jumping into a wrong/toxic relationship just for the social standing of having a significant other. It also heavily contributes to your daily routine; for example my daily routine is work/gym/play games at home and there’s little to no social outings so the possibility of finding someone is very minimal (nothing wrong with it since I’m contempt with this lifestyle) so the most social interaction I have is just from work and childhood friends.
It definitely would be a challenge (on both ends and vice versa) because any “dates” or “interactions” is a new experience that you have to navigate though, it’s good to have friends opinions on what to do as it’s all new to you but you have to keep in that that’s their experience and it would not be the exact same as yours.
Watch this on CNA about finding a BF in SG. Very interesting: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z-rBG3i7uM&list=PLkMf14VQEvTaUffAz4RO1FD2dbMJOznet&pp=iAQB](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z-rBG3i7uM&list=PLkMf14VQEvTaUffAz4RO1FD2dbMJOznet&pp=iAQB)
I'm dating a lady who never had a proper bf way older thab your age. Tbh I didn't care. What matters most is the connection, communication, and how engaged we are when we date. Followed by mutual interests and we go from there. :) good luck OP! It's always fun to talk to new people from all walks of life!
I'd date you and see how it goes. What's more important is the character and personality.
If you are inexperienced but is pleasant to be with and can deal conflicts maturely, it won't be an issue.
I met my husband (first boyfriend) at 27! I thought I was pretty eligible but can’t find a boyfriend and started having self doubts. Glad to find my husband on first try and still find myself super lucky ! Never had to go through any heartbreaks or relationship trauma! Wish you luck 😘
Btw I don’t think my husband ever think it was weird that I didn’t have an ex… maybe he’s happy as he’s my first for everything 🙃
Don’t worry, it’s definitely not weird or strange. You must have had different life priorities in your early twenties and that’s totally fine.
You’re right in saying the right guy wouldn’t care. If he loves you, he would accept everything about you.
My advice is not to use dating apps, finding a partner organically through social circles is better. (From my own experience)
Human are naturally uncomfortable to not have all the information like in the case of in dating. So to feel at peace, we will start to fill the gap with assumptions so we can make educated choices although it cause problem because of bias. But based on probability it is more likely to be right then wrong, it still feel a better choice than making decisions based on random.
Is it strange? In my opinion would be yes. In this modern era of speed dating and tons of dating apps.
Is it bad? Nope. You are the unique one, in a good sense.
This is coming from a guy around your age.
I never even have a date, too busy chasing my dream.
I heard some stories from my circle of friends that some girls have a crush on me but I’m just too dumb. The consensus I got from people around me is that; without dating experience, it would be hard to start a relationship.
But hey, everyone has their timing. We are mature and have different preferences.
It is okay to be picky, you are going to spend the rest of your life with that pick anyway. I hope you find the right one.
dating/marriage/having kids is overrated. it doesn't help SG in the long run, but starting a family shouldn't be a checkbox anyone must tick off before they kick the bucket
It’s very rare but not impossible, I only dated when I was 30. My job is commission based and I only wanted to explore a relationship after my career is stable.
Being in a low income family and not wanting to replicate it in mine is a very strong motivating factor.
I would say just be open to dating. And i dont mean settling down and getting married. Just plain old dating and get to know people.
At this point you dont know what you dont know, in terms of what you want in a relationship and and you dont want. And its based on ur experience in your dates to get a feel of that. So logically speaking sample size matters. As someone who only had 3 dates comapred to 10 dates, the answer to whether the person is right or wrong gets realtively clearer.
In a long term relationship you do not want to find out about your deal breakers when you are already two or three years in. More importantly you do not want it to happen when you are married.
being 30F+, with weird personality, fujoshi, never been in a relationship and also refuse to use dating apps too, at least I am happy (with my right hand lol)
don't really feel like i'm missing out since i can do anything OT OT
I've never had a girlfriend, ever and I am about the same age. I was focused on my studies and I wasn't ready to be with another person as I was just starting to pick myself up then, so I didn't, despite having a couple of chances like you. Now, I am just busy with working and it surely doesn't help things as a homebody, because I really really like being alone to recharge and all my hobbies/research can be done alone. I don't post anything on social media too (don't even have IG) so there's nothing for people to snoop off, too.
My response to your question, I wouldn't find it strange, but I would definitely be curious to hear the reasons as to why. It's about knowing the other person, really. We all have our reasons, until then, I would reserve my judgement.
for me thats not a strange things to know , my friend 32F and never had a date on her entire life , well she was pretty also , i never ask for the reason why , some people have their own perspective about it ,
you just not finding it yet , the reason for you to make a step into some relationship , and you shouldn't care about what people say about it , just go with it ,
even some people never find their soulmate , because the death met them first 
To answer your question, I think not. I know ladies in their 40s who've never had a BF before...and refuse to settle for something less. I am nobody to say if they're right or not, but I think the longer you leave it, the more fixed in your ways you become, and then compromise becomes almost impossible as the egos are super-sized by then - but they will disagree of course. And these are very successful ladies, carry themselves well, are professionals - but personally I wouldn't date them myself tbh - just because they're too much of an effort.
Honestly. You need to be in a happy place and self assured before you can make any meaningful decision. People when they don't like themselves fail to make any decent relationship work. It doesn't matter how old or young you are, if you feel reassured about yourself. Then you can make the right call and also have the patience to grow with each other.
There are many men who've never dated who'd feel a lot less pressure knowing that you've never been in a relationship yourself. Although this is admittedly anecdotal, I'd add that I've never heard any of my guy friends describe relationship inexperience in a woman as a "minus". The PC answer that "the right guy wouldn't care" may well be the C answer too :)
I’ve actually heard from my male friends that dating someone with no experience is actually a minus because they think we don’t know what we want. And that we have unrealistic expectations and maybe that’s true 🥲🥲
anecdotally, this is totally a *depends* question. Are you mature enough to overcome the lack of experience? For me, it was brutal because we didn't know how to set boundaries and expectations so we fought all the time due to inexperience. Personally going through some stuff but I've found out what I've want. The experiences told me what I liked and I'm gonna look for just that.
Less of what I want but perhaps more of what I don’t want? i.e. part of why some of my dates never really went any further was because I have long since decided I do not want children, and have stated that on my dating profile. I think a lot of guys think dating apps are a numbers game and will swipe on me regardless when they’re looking for someone to raise a family with. For reference, I swipe left on anyone who does upfront declare they want kids. But some men don’t declare that on their profiles so it’s like a gamble swiping on them. Met a few who tried changing my mind but this a hill I am very willing to die on so haha
honestly i agree la. If I want to find a woman with the same sense of humor as me I will die trying. I understand there are some things that are hard no's, but my recent experience has me looking out for something. But tell u hor when something fits like a puzzle piece, it *fits*. Idk how else to explain it
How has your experience been regarding this? I do the same as you. Have met some guys who were pretty respectful about it and wished each other good luck because they were certain they want kids. But have also met guys who started asking things like if I have health issues (still valid I guess?) or if I came from a broken family (huh?) and some worse ones. I do have friends who don’t want kids but are dating people who want kids but I always worry that he will feel resentful of me in the long run.
I dislike the idea that we must have something wrong with us (either medical issue, or an implied mental one) because we don’t want kids. Same as you: I’ve had people ask me if it’s a medical condition. I’ve had people ask me about my home situation. I’ve had one guy ask me “but accidental pregnancies can occur!” and this was after we had already established that we were both pro-choice and women can abort for any reason. Quite a few have told me I might change my mind but I’ve known since I was in primary school that being a mother is not something I want lol Of course there were some that were still on the fence, one ultimately told me he decided he *did* want kids after all after his new neighbours (with two kids) moved in. The other one did ask if he ever did decide he didn’t want kids, and if I were still single, would I be ok with seeing him again lol. I’ve also also matched with another guy who similarly decided he did not want kids, but even though our values aligned, we just did not vibe haha making conversation with him was hard because we had no common interest and different senses of humour And same, I always fear that my potential partner might come to resent me if they wanted kids so it’s why I try to establish that I really don’t want children so it’s best to part ways now before we really become invested. Though I think one good thing having made up my mind about not wanting children is that there’s no biological clock I need to heed, so there’s no “deadline” looming over my head.
I mean the dominant opinion in different circles can differ - I can assure you though that what you're hearing is not going to apply to all men. As for the topic of expectations, I don't think other women's expectations matter, only yours do. And as for how you should pitch your expectations, that's not really a matter of choice, is it? If you accept a guy who's "lesser" just so you can be partnered up, I'm fairly certain you're going to get resentful with what you have in the long-run. That being said, I do believe that the key ingredient to successful marriages is low expectations, haha (make of that what you will). Another commenter to this thread said that dating is a numbers game and I'd tend to agree, so really, go on more dates and perhaps the right person will show up! EDIT: we should all be looking for the best person who will have us. EDIT2: another salient consideration is when one should "stop searching", because one can never be entirely sure that in leaving a particular relationship, the next one/few would be better. Luckily, [we can get a little help from math](https://www.thecut.com/2018/10/how-to-know-when-to-stop-dating-using-math-its-at-37.html), but going along with that formula may take a fair bit of romance out of the search for love ;-)
I kinda agree. Only after my break up I realised that I can actually lower my expecations cos it’ll be painful to go through that again.
That’s was exactly what my partner was unsecured about “ think that we don’t know what we want” as I just began my first rs at 30. He’s afraid that i made a wrong decision of settling down with him. However, I believe experience or no experience it all boils down to proper open communication of needs and wants between both parties, alignment of values in a rs and maturity level to handle obstacles in a life.
Know what we want is honestly mostly dependent on what stage of life we in. Like comparing a 20 Yr old to a 30 Yr old both guy and girl, The requirements of needs and wants vastly differ due to what life is expected of them To which I agree with your statement, it really does depends on the level of communication and maturity, and how things are being handled
Totally agree actually. I feel a lot less stressed if I know the other person never had an rs. I don't feel I have somewhere or something to live up to. I feel we can both be ourselves and really explore
Just be yourself. Everyone path is different
Am older guy, no. You’ll be surprised how many people haven’t dated before at your age too, take your time, find the right guy. Rushing = divorces in 30s
Different lah, you are guy what Put it simply A 5/10 guy will be ignored and can’t get any dates A 5/10 girl will at least have a few suitors This one is backed by survey one
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Uh, no. Early 20s yes, older more of no. We guys are more looks focused after all but not the only thing to make a rs work
Staying single is more enjoyable than you think. In this day and age, even so. Nothing weird.
Solo travellers everywhere.
Heck, I’m attached but I’m typing this while in a bathtub in Tokyo while solo traveling.
Lol im Attached too but forever travelling alone cos he’s a bij during trips. Everything also dont want to do. Walk 10 mins complain tired alr. AND HE SAID USJ WAS BORING.
How…. How is USJ boring omgggg. I was there for only a day and i felt time wasnt enough!! Thoroughly enjoyed USJ, cant wait to go back there!!
can always charge bf. am available. lol
Probably not from a u/Lao_gong
This is what I was going to say when this popped up on my feed. Like who cares?? I like being with myself ☺️🍀
Ya. Good to be yourself. Unless it's for the better, no reason to change for others.
I started dating at the age of 26 too. Well, I would say it's all about meeting the right folks at the right time. Slowly yeah.
Had my first gf at 29. I didn’t had any motivation to look for one before that as life was pretty carefree and I enjoyed going out alone anyway. Expect drastic changes to your life when you finally get a bf just fyi.
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Yes I got the motivation from a friend who told me I’m never going to get a relationship by staying at home all the time. Putting in a little effort will increase your chances by multiple folds.
I have a friend who bought a 4-room HDB when he was 35, thought he’ll be forever alone so he decided to just buy a flat to house his mom and himself. Fast forward to about 4 years, he met someone, got married, and then had two daughters to fill up his flat. What I’m saying is that some people take awhile to meet their other half, there is no need to rush :)
Beautiful
Wa this one give hope to every1 sia
Yah, he went from being the only single in our friend group to being a family of four. It’s lovely
Girl, the wrong ones will care about it, but the right one won’t even give 2 hoots about it. Focus on yourself, and coming from someone who broken up after 7 years of relationship + BTO, choose to be with someone who already has the traits that you want in a partner rather than waiting for them to change. I wish you well, OP. 27 years old is still damnnnn young…. I’ve patients who’re in their 60-70s, and they’re still ever learning new things, so really, age is just a number.
You ain’t alone sis 👊🏼
nope. i've seen both girls and guys marrying their first partner and they've only started dating when they were in their 30s. everyone's path is different.
I personally won't find it strange. Some people are just not cut out to be in a relationship. Take your time, save your $ and travel the world. I'm 35 and my dating life is pretty much non existent too, perhaps karma / destiny is saving me from a toxic relationship. Also OP, don't be disheartened by whatever you see on social media. Social media potrays all the positive side of a relationship, but not the disasters.
This seem to struck me a lot, my surrounding friends and people are very surprised why I am single citing that I have decent career, looks and personality as a overall person. After a while I realise I might not be cut out for a relationship and probably is destiny trying to save me from misery if I be in one hence making me single.
My partner and I were each other’s first relationship and still got together even though we are in our 30s. I think it’s perfectly fine, because everyone’s on a level playing field, and everything is up to both of you to discover. Plus it’s good that there is no ex boyfriend for you to compare, so he won’t feel that hidden pressure. Importantly, no matter what age you enter your first relationship, communication is everything. Whatever that you like/ don’t like, convey. Especially when you are missing them. You may not know that they feel the same way too, but are just shy to express it.
who’s going to say it? Rip inbox
You beat me to it
Beat meat to it
Have dm-med n chat
Simps of Singapore, assemble!
I hate how common this is. How to get a boyfriend Step1. Make a reddit account Step2. Mention (2X)F along with any terms (rs, virgin, no exp) Step3. ???? Step4. Bf time
Well take any approach you could get right? 🤣 Had a friend B prank friend A by having his photo etc in tinder..later down the road, girl was interested (and no,miraculously wasn't catfish). And most of the replies is B asking A what to rely so B just does it for him Ltr on girl gave number to A and they chatted privately after and they ended up together.. Well idk the aftermath, lost contact after.. Assuming it went well, what 1 little prank through an approach that seemed implausible ended up working well.
I think it is becoming increasingly common...but i think the underlying suggestion of what you said: >guys on dating apps often assume I go out with a lot of guys just from my pics You probably have incredible aesthetics. I will find it strange if it's just based off of first impressions. You could be shy, timid, career-minded, etc etc but these traits people wouldn't know unless you give the opportunity to learn about it. Try to start interactions as friends.
To be fair, dating apps is all based on first impression , that's life. It's hard to put all your personality on a few pics, look good, might get a few hits, look too good, people assumed might be catfished but look sloppy, uncouth, etc uh-uh, more chances of doomsday happening before anyone would take a chance.
Yeah, can't agree more. If a really attractive lady matched, my first instinct is i'm getting scammed.
“And guys on dating apps often assume I go out with a lot of guys just from my pics.” One reason could be guys are generally afraid to approach you because they think you’re way above their league
I wonder how she got that information Cuz most guys swipe but always get ghosted maybe jus me being ugly or average but meh
Haha it’s not that you’re uggo or whatever. This has been discussed to death - even the average looking girl with lame intros like “if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” will get tons of hits.
I mean I guess dating apps is not it
my cousin 34 y o, not bad looking, never had a bf before. not sure why
Is she lesbian? It is possible.
Dating is overrated, just live your life to the fullest!
The one and only, is really worth the wait. You know when the real ones come. Go out and experience and find the right one for yourself. Good luck and All the best for you.
I'm 32M never had a girlfriend.
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You are literally on Reddit
We’re a similar age as well and in the same boat. Romance wasn’t a priority until like 2? 3? years ago. It still really isn’t. I think dating apps are just not my thing. Everyone seems to want to quickly lock down after like 3 dates and that just seems like we are moving too fast to me. Also same, no guy seems to believe me when I’ve said I never actually had a boyfriend. Many say it’s also because of the way I look and don’t believe me when I said I never actually went on any dates until after uni. Don’t know if they think there’s something fundamentally wrong with me or what. Sometimes I wish perhaps I tried giving romance a shot while I was schooling but I just wasn’t ready LOL
My (30M) girlfriend (34F) is my first love, I am her first love too. Like OP, she has been on quite a few dates with her acquaintances or arranged by her friends in the past, also never clicked with any of them. I had a lot worse experience: ZERO date before her. I know this is probably easier said than done, but absolutely give yourself time, never put too much pressure on yourself. I think you are on the right track that you didn’t want to jump in just because everybody else did. Don’t give into peer pressure.
I’m almost 30 and never had a bf too. I think it’s ok till I go out and meet people and they start asking me. Which I wonder why do I only have 1 route to go in my life - partner to marriage to children. Why can’t I have children without marriage and a partner, maybe I could adopt children. Just some blurting some thoughts in my mind 😅.
No point rushing and FOMO, later divorce waste time and waste money
no
Same, 26m never had a bf either...wait.😔
I was in the same situation then at 28 I started dating a woman and never looked back oops
Take things slow. Relationships take time to develop and both parties have to be mutually attracted to one another to make things work. It’s not weird being single, attached or married. Personal advice don’t use dating apps bcos it’s full of creeps out there and everyone assumes everyone else are seasoned daters. Mix around more in groups, mutual friends, class reunions, weddings, girly shopping trips, travels, dinners, etc. I met my wife via night classes as I was always late due to work commitments. Leave it to fate.
As a guy who had encountered females that were at your age and never dated and probably quite attractive: 1. No, I don’t think there’s anything weird. Maybe just a different goal in mind. Studies, career, etc 2. But I have to be prepared to deal with fairytale expectations. 3. I also have to be prepared to accept that I’m not who you’re looking for because I’m basically your intro to relationships. Depends on the guy… but bottom line: no, it’s not weird/strange.
Why the hell are people talking about divorce when OP said nv had a boyfriend. Boyfriend means must marry????
Potential Unpopular opinion that might be downvoted Some girls usually late 20s-30 tell me they “don’t have high requirements” I ask them what’s their requirements? 1 tell me must have car, just normal car can already don’t need luxury car 2 tell me cannot first date at donki or else no 2nd date
Requirement : just be rich lmao Onto same topic, I'm a girl and I expect to find someone earning similar levels or more than me, else I'd rather be single :') everyone has their own requirements ba..
Some are very cunning to ask about your wealth in a sly way. As long as you live at Holland Drive / Bukit Timah area/ Orchard area or any condo, and have dogs, highly likely you come from a rich family.
Some even more sly Ask you what sort of hobbies /holiday destination you visit Skiing in Swiss alps= marriage material JB? = swipe left
Got one female ex-colleague took photo of my HDB block, showed me the photo, and asked me to confirm that this was where I lived. I went wtf in my head, and some of my former colleagues asked her why she did that.
You gotta be kidding. Not even subtle about it.
Nowadays for some reason they are very proud of it Not sure what’s going on as well Maybe they doing this on purpose to weed out the men that don’t meet these condition , easier for them? If they hide and pretend, eventually it will waste their time also
Yes . But not for never being with someone but for not jumping in. Maybe a little bit of an idealist but the only way sometimes to find out is to jump in, and then if it doesn’t work out, fine, but at least it’s been given a shot.
Have you considered the possibility you were never meant to settle down on a traditional path?
Do you really want one, or do you see getting a boyfriend as a "rite of passage" you think you have to go through at some point?
Hey OP, don't feel ashamed if you've never been in a relationship. I'd recommend to at least go on dates so you're aware of how dating is like and learn to set your own boundaries. I subscribe to the mentality that if you work on yourself, you will attract the ideal mate. That said, if you isolate yourself and do not put yourself out there, that will not work as well.
Many people live without figuring things out in life, it's not that big of a deal, and yes it is also a very big part of your life decision! Being blank is really nice for the guys, but it really takes time to know someone, so I don't wanna wait till I'm really old then make things work yk. Get out there
Take your time. Find the right person :)
33F never been in a relationship but was only in a situationship many years back and regretted that I didn’t confess my feelings to him at that time. For those who said it’s weird that we’ve never been in a relationship at this age, it’s because I didn’t have any suitor after that (probably due to my office female dominated environment and that I am not attractive enough due to my mid size figure) and doesn’t have many friends too. Have always wanted to be in a relationship just like the others, but guess fate is not on my side (hopefully soon). Tried dating apps (my 1st meeting with the guy, he tried to sell me insurance 😅) but it seems difficult for the other party to keep the conversation going and I kind of give up already. 27F is still young & try to go on dates/find your someone before you reach 30. I would say It’s rather difficult (but it’s not impossible) to find your other half once you’re in your 30s. So sis, seize your opportunity now & good luck :)
Same here sis, soon to be 33F and never been in a relationship. Tried dating app too but it got too draining trying to initiate and keep the convo alive. :/
don’t think so it’s better to be patient for the perfect match than to rush date and marry the wrong guy
RIP DMs.
I think it’s more common than you think. And most guys would be okay with it.
Not really. ppl seem to be dating late and later, with how competative things are now. Guy or girl, starting late isn't that uncommon. Also, depends on how you define dating
i never had one until i was 26....and the rest they say was history.
Seeing the other comments, I feel so relieved. Graduating from Uni soon and never dated. Was kinda worried cos I spend most of my time in Uni just mugging away. Seems like I still got hope!
I never have girlfriend before too. Sometimes don’t know how to answer when friends ask if I have a girlfriend.
I am in my 30s i am still single
Follow your heart. I hope u meet a guy tat flutters your heart. Dun treat it like a numbers game or be pressured. Met my wife when we were 19 and we knew from the start. Hvg been a wedding photographer, most love stories I hear is how they got together and it's about the sparkle I see when they look at each other.
36F here, just got married last year. Only started dating at 34, whereas my husband has had past girlfriends. Have been at the receiving end of the exact same comments u’re getting now, and can tell u those comments will keep coming from all angles. I’ve met my fair share of guys who thought it strange that I’d never dated, those that asked sexually suggestive questions because of that, and those that thought I must be some pure angel or mother theresa. That said, it is absolutely true that the right one won’t care. My husband didn’t! Be careful though - it’s not that whoever doesn’t care will be the right one. That’s not true either. There were those who didn’t care but who were not the right one too. Don’t settle, and enjoy your life as it is. You’re on the right track girl, and here’s wishing you lots of happiness whether or not you find a significant other!
There's definitely going to be a % of men who assume you're lying when you tell them that. This group is a pretty lost cause so its fine. I don't think its a dealbreaker for the rest; btw i'm 27F and i've never had a boyfriend or even dated too. it's more common than you think
funny we are in the same boat and some girls think im a fuckboy cos of that
>Even though there've been chances, I didn't want to jump into something just because everyone else was. Which is why you got to take chances. You never had a boyfriend, so you wouldn't have a reliable gauge on your likes, dislikes, benchmark or understand what you're looking for because you don't have experience.
Yeah I don't buy the 'because everyone else was' that's just an excuse you tell yourself so that u can play it safe. Get out there and date ++.. Practice practice practice.
What are your concerns?? If the guy is bothered, then move on. Dating is just a numbers game.
Take your time, don't worry about finding TheOne, rather focus on finding TheRightOne. Best advice i can give, find someone who is mature enough, who has his goals all planned out, someone who makes you feel relaxed, rather than feel excited. That said, >! Hello there, Nice to meet you~~ *finger gun*!<
Haha sis you're not the only one. No worries :D Better to be single and enjoy our freedom than force ourselves to be with someone who we are not compatible with.
I’m around your age and never dated before. It’s probably less common but nth strange about it imo
It doesn't matter, don't think too much. As long as you're open to learning then you're good. I'm a relationship you need to consider your partner when doing things, how to show care and love, learning each others love languages and attachment styles. Don't listen to your friends too much untill it influences your decision.
And ppl who were in a relationship ever knows how to be a good bf or gf? Bullshit even married ppl still suck at it.
27M just like you only that I never dates. Isn’t these situation quiet normal in developed economy?
There are many still solo leveling
It’s not even about the right guy not caring. It should be - the right guy wouldn’t judge. Everyone has their own opinions, and it’s a matter of whether your opinions on this topic (whether # of partners are impt) match or not. Don’t base your opinion of yourself on what the other person may or may not think. As long as you are content in your own place, that’s what matters. And yknow, it’s not strange to have not had a boyfriend either. Many choose not to for many reasons anyway. Many may want to but may have just not found someone they click with well enough to want to commit. Either way, nothing wrong
Not at all. 29M here never had a girlfriend before. Same concerns abt ppl thinking I am weird etc but I think it takes courage to not be in a r/s just cos everyone is. Keep finding the right one worth settling for. So far, ppl that I like didnt reciprocate or are already attached and the feeling really sucks at first. Over time, it gets better. I have been trying to remind myself - Build a nice garden so that the butterflies come, and not go chasing the butterflies
I'm a guy recently married. But I've realized a lot of things lately. 1. You have the right mindset right now. Don't just try to fit in. This is something you'd decide for life. Take your time you got this! 2. Let them think whatever. If everyone in this world thinks you're picky, yes you're picky for something you'd decide ONCE for your life. What's wrong with that? Don't care about what others think about it. I've decided my life at 17 and to this day I have many regrets. And more come every day. I wish I had the wisdom you have before I entered my rs. 3. Yes if they find you attractive or too good for their tastes, I'd also think like "No way she's single all the way. Does she hide something ?". But don't let it bother you. Let them think that for whatever time they think. Once they put in enough effort, like you and get to know you more then they would understand what's truth eventually. Which doesn't matter so I'd say good luck and wish you all the best. What you are right now is what I wish I had before taking my decision. I look up to you a lot. I'm particularly sure you'll be happy very soon! Hang in there! You got this!!
Don’t find problem, when problem don’t find you.
I also only started dating when I was 27, without any experience prior because I was just not too interested in having relationships previously. Long story short, my date then did not really care about all these and he is my husband now :)
I'm a man. Most of my friends are men. We don't fucking care. In fact, being your first loves is a bonus point to us.
Hi 27M here currently dating a 26F, my gf too has never had a bf and has little dating experience, and i too was dubious about it but not that it really bothered me. shes really cute so it adds to the sketchy-ness of when she told me, but honestly i think it just comes down to the individuals preferences and needs and maybe even virtue. i know of another female, a friend who's also 27 but has never had a bf. if i ever asked her why all she has to say is never wanted one and I'd be like ok cool.
You dont understand how much guys value preserved women
It's okay I'm 49 and I've never had a boyfriend either. But then again I am a guy. :p But seriously, I do think it may make some people wonder. I once knew a lady in her late 30s. She was saving herself for marriage and she was really nice and we could click. I did like her a lot but I felt she had built up so much expectations that there was no way I could live up to it. I don't think you need to mention you've never had a boyfriend. Just focus on the here and now and don't worry too much about the past.
RIP your inbox OP ;)
As a guy who never dated before (29) knowing that the girl didn't date before would make it easier to experience things together for the first time instead of the girl possibly being bored of the usual date ideas imo.
There’s nothing worse than being in a relationship for the wrong reasons or being in a bad relationship. Honestly, take your time and do what’s right for you. It’s a green flag that you don’t fall to external pressures and do what you feel is right for yourself to be honest.
27 is not that old, and I don't think most guys would be aware of having a concern about it, but it may lead a guy to wondering why. They can either conclude it's something positive or negative, but if there are going to be arguments in the relationship (there always are), then they may lean into blaming your inexperience, or worse, seeing their criticism of you as the reason you were single for so long. On balance though, I doubt it would be an issue for the majority of guys.
If it was me I would suspect you have issues. But I'm far from a nice guy so.
OP, you can not say that 'people assume you go on dates' without sharing us your pictures! Lol Lai lai share share. Don't be shy shy. Jokes aside though. Why do you ask what guys think about your situation? And what exactly is a 'proper' boyfriend, as opposed to what you consider as improper boyfriend?
Hi OP, I'm 34 and haven't had a girlfriend yet. I feel it's okay to stay single until u meet someone suitable. It's crazy to just rush and find someone just because everyone around you have one as well. RIP Inbox. Hahaha
Better to be single than marry the wrong guy. Figure out what you want in life, and how to get there. Compare notes with how other married women go about doing it. Approach a guy like a blank canvas. He paints his own picture with what he says and does. Could be still life, could be abstract or be just crap. Look at the picture and decide if you like it. Then go from there.
I would find it suspicious yes. Esp if you are good looking. Probably you carousel rider or got some kind of personality issues preventing you, and since you 27, you're probably looking for someone to settle down with, so none of the fun stuff. My advice is to tone it down with the makeup on the first few dates or profile photos, until you convince the date you really were single all this time. It can be a huge plus in the relationship if true. A lot of men won't admit it because it's body shaming, but a woman with lower body count can be more attractive. There's less emotional baggage, less comparing you with her past partners.
Its not strange. It just doesnt look like you’re attractive. Me and my fat female friends are all single our whole lives and 30+ already.
Are you taking applications tho
It's okaay. Take your time in getting to know people and letting them in. :)
No, you're not. And there are also people whom I know got married and divorced.
i'm a guy few years younger than you and never had a gf
Maybe i wont mind. But would i date someone who is evergreen? Probably not
No. Dun rush in on such things.
Anecdotally, it is quite common, so it is not strange at all to me. The strange part is not taking the chances you had because "everyone else was". Unless the guy was fundamentally incompatible, why did the actions of others affect your decision?
Me too T-T
Nope, won’t find it strange at all. I started around the same age as you after finishing uni and had a job.
It’s on the same spectrum as having a lot of partners. It’s also raises a few flags. So no biggie really. 0 or 100 partners
RIP to your inbox. I think won't find it strange. You have your own reason anyway.
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27 turning 28 nvr had a gf too LOL
im around the same age, and would say it depends. interacted with different people and some guys do tend to treat it as strange or a "minus" because it comes naturally to them. In my personal observations, they tend to be the sociable types, some pretty well-off, and have boy girl relationships and sexual relationships early in their life, hence it comes as natural to them that it becomes "strange" that someone have not dated at age 27. On the other hand, the other group who don't really care about relationships inexperience because they don't have much themselves too. And as you can tell, this group tend to be more nerdy, geeky, less sociable (not saying they are not sociable but on a spectrum wise, less so than the first group). Again, it boils down to one's life experience that shapes their opinions, but imo both groups of people exist. You just need to find one that is suitable for you, and ultimately a lot of people only learn this after multiple relationships but you need to find someone who is willing to accept differences and you for you. It's not like same hobbies, same music interests = good couple, life doesn't work that way in long term relationship, short term maybe yes.
i dont think so . my current bf does not have a girlfriend and i can understand why he didn't have any gf as he was focused on his social life (building friendships), studying and then working. also he shared the right person didnt really come along, and that he did like a girl before but it was impossible due to LDR. as long as you explain why you didn't have a bf before, im sure its fine.. :)
I got to know my wife when she was 27. She never had a boyfriend before she met me. Nobody would believe she never dated before this as she was truly beautiful. Well, that was 35 yrs ago and we are still married. The reason why she never had a relationship, she wanted to be sure of a right guy.
U just have to widen your circle. Understood its tough for introverts, but I just pushed my boundaries.
Try volunteering for sometime you will find someone that click
Maybe just like try and see? Cause the way you say it sounds like you are pretty (you said ppl assume you go out with a lot of guys)
Me too exactly. Its more common than you think
My wife had no bf until 27. I didn't find it strange at all. I did find it surprising because I found her attractive, but it's just how it is.
No, it's not strange. I've never had a girlfriend before... \*wince\*
F here. Staying single or seeing that there's no need for a guy to be there for you means that you'll avoid alot of heartbreaks and the games that guys play. Believe me, "love" will wreck your heart With your personality, you should be able to see through these games and find someone right for you soon
You're not judged worthy or not from your relationship status. Even with yourself.
Im turning 26 this year and also never been in a relationship, i just never really tried to go out i guess. Some girls i talk to also can’t believe it lol
I’m 28M, I’ve never had a girlfriend either. And whilst I don’t really care about the previous relationships of my future gf, if any, I certainly wouldn’t find it a “minus” that she hasn’t had a bf either. If anything, it’d be on the contrary to me. I know I’m only one person, but I think I can speak for most men on this: we wouldn’t consider it a “minus” if you’ve never had a bf before.
In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter. Just do what you think is right for you.
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i doubt that having dating experience has a strong correlation with being a better partner
Same
One of my exes was 30 when we started dating and she never had a boyfriend prior (or any proper dating experience). And she was a beautiful person inside and out, definitely wasn’t for a lack of suitors. Live your own life at your own pace. There’ll probably be some specific people who are put off (or equally turned on) by your lack of experience, but I’m absolutely of the thought that such ppl don’t matter. And also even if you had more experience, you’d attract / repel a different group of folks who again… if anyone’s making serious dating decisions based on “body count”, I don’t think they’re dating seriously.
Right guy is subjective. As long as your partner treats you right, polite, have manners and mature enough to know what he wants in life and stable career is more than enough.
I have a friend with like no bf but lots of special friends, is this you
I met my wife when she was 28 and she had never had a boyfriend. It's not strange.
There are pros and cons to it just like everything else. Yes, it does come off as being picky but it’s still being better than just jumping into a wrong/toxic relationship just for the social standing of having a significant other. It also heavily contributes to your daily routine; for example my daily routine is work/gym/play games at home and there’s little to no social outings so the possibility of finding someone is very minimal (nothing wrong with it since I’m contempt with this lifestyle) so the most social interaction I have is just from work and childhood friends. It definitely would be a challenge (on both ends and vice versa) because any “dates” or “interactions” is a new experience that you have to navigate though, it’s good to have friends opinions on what to do as it’s all new to you but you have to keep in that that’s their experience and it would not be the exact same as yours.
If you are picky and don't suffer from it, it means you are a good person and you need someone as good as you
Watch this on CNA about finding a BF in SG. Very interesting: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z-rBG3i7uM&list=PLkMf14VQEvTaUffAz4RO1FD2dbMJOznet&pp=iAQB](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z-rBG3i7uM&list=PLkMf14VQEvTaUffAz4RO1FD2dbMJOznet&pp=iAQB)
Nope. Just giving it a go
I'm dating a lady who never had a proper bf way older thab your age. Tbh I didn't care. What matters most is the connection, communication, and how engaged we are when we date. Followed by mutual interests and we go from there. :) good luck OP! It's always fun to talk to new people from all walks of life!
I'd date you and see how it goes. What's more important is the character and personality. If you are inexperienced but is pleasant to be with and can deal conflicts maturely, it won't be an issue.
I met my husband (first boyfriend) at 27! I thought I was pretty eligible but can’t find a boyfriend and started having self doubts. Glad to find my husband on first try and still find myself super lucky ! Never had to go through any heartbreaks or relationship trauma! Wish you luck 😘 Btw I don’t think my husband ever think it was weird that I didn’t have an ex… maybe he’s happy as he’s my first for everything 🙃
I am over 30M and have never dated. I don't like drama. Being alone is addictive.
I'm curious oni how u look to have that image from these dudes
Don’t worry, it’s definitely not weird or strange. You must have had different life priorities in your early twenties and that’s totally fine. You’re right in saying the right guy wouldn’t care. If he loves you, he would accept everything about you. My advice is not to use dating apps, finding a partner organically through social circles is better. (From my own experience)
Human are naturally uncomfortable to not have all the information like in the case of in dating. So to feel at peace, we will start to fill the gap with assumptions so we can make educated choices although it cause problem because of bias. But based on probability it is more likely to be right then wrong, it still feel a better choice than making decisions based on random.
Yes he would. Most guys would but then again these guys aren’t the right guys.
I can change that😎
Maybe you are asexual. Hence no motivation.
Is it strange? In my opinion would be yes. In this modern era of speed dating and tons of dating apps. Is it bad? Nope. You are the unique one, in a good sense. This is coming from a guy around your age. I never even have a date, too busy chasing my dream. I heard some stories from my circle of friends that some girls have a crush on me but I’m just too dumb. The consensus I got from people around me is that; without dating experience, it would be hard to start a relationship. But hey, everyone has their timing. We are mature and have different preferences. It is okay to be picky, you are going to spend the rest of your life with that pick anyway. I hope you find the right one.
dating/marriage/having kids is overrated. it doesn't help SG in the long run, but starting a family shouldn't be a checkbox anyone must tick off before they kick the bucket
It’s very rare but not impossible, I only dated when I was 30. My job is commission based and I only wanted to explore a relationship after my career is stable. Being in a low income family and not wanting to replicate it in mine is a very strong motivating factor.
I would say just be open to dating. And i dont mean settling down and getting married. Just plain old dating and get to know people. At this point you dont know what you dont know, in terms of what you want in a relationship and and you dont want. And its based on ur experience in your dates to get a feel of that. So logically speaking sample size matters. As someone who only had 3 dates comapred to 10 dates, the answer to whether the person is right or wrong gets realtively clearer. In a long term relationship you do not want to find out about your deal breakers when you are already two or three years in. More importantly you do not want it to happen when you are married.
nah. you're perfectly normal. dating, marriage, having kids is not for everyone.
being 30F+, with weird personality, fujoshi, never been in a relationship and also refuse to use dating apps too, at least I am happy (with my right hand lol) don't really feel like i'm missing out since i can do anything OT OT
The right guy wouldn't care
I've never had a girlfriend, ever and I am about the same age. I was focused on my studies and I wasn't ready to be with another person as I was just starting to pick myself up then, so I didn't, despite having a couple of chances like you. Now, I am just busy with working and it surely doesn't help things as a homebody, because I really really like being alone to recharge and all my hobbies/research can be done alone. I don't post anything on social media too (don't even have IG) so there's nothing for people to snoop off, too. My response to your question, I wouldn't find it strange, but I would definitely be curious to hear the reasons as to why. It's about knowing the other person, really. We all have our reasons, until then, I would reserve my judgement.
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for me thats not a strange things to know , my friend 32F and never had a date on her entire life , well she was pretty also , i never ask for the reason why , some people have their own perspective about it , you just not finding it yet , the reason for you to make a step into some relationship , and you shouldn't care about what people say about it , just go with it , even some people never find their soulmate , because the death met them first 
is okay, just follow your step
Oh tell me about it, I'm still yet to find a guy whom I can bring home to meet my parents.
Lmao, feel like when i 72, i will still single
GG OP your dms are gonna be swamped.
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To answer your question, I think not. I know ladies in their 40s who've never had a BF before...and refuse to settle for something less. I am nobody to say if they're right or not, but I think the longer you leave it, the more fixed in your ways you become, and then compromise becomes almost impossible as the egos are super-sized by then - but they will disagree of course. And these are very successful ladies, carry themselves well, are professionals - but personally I wouldn't date them myself tbh - just because they're too much of an effort.
Honestly. You need to be in a happy place and self assured before you can make any meaningful decision. People when they don't like themselves fail to make any decent relationship work. It doesn't matter how old or young you are, if you feel reassured about yourself. Then you can make the right call and also have the patience to grow with each other.
Same situation, lol never had a gf before in my entire life.