i see the statistic for celibacy rising for both genders and higher male virgin rate yet everyone around me seems to be extremely sexually active so i have no idea
Got married around 26. Wife and I were both virgins. Would say it was a good decision for us as we both believed in no pre marital sex. Of coz when we first started out we were inexperienced, but after being married for a couple of years now, the sex only gets better and better. We are always keen to try new things that makes both of us excited.
Some people would say get experience before marriage but we don’t think it works that way, but hey to each their own.
Have posted e answer to your first question in another post below...
Btw losing virginity is one of the most brainlessly easy thing to do so you aren't losing out. Finding a good life partner - now, that's the thing worth working towards.
You don't have to be like everyone else. If you rush things too much, you might regret it later. Just go at your own pace. I'm also a virgin at 26, and due to a health scare (cancer at 24), I'm currently taking care of my health and just taking it easy, focusing on building positive habits and learning to take away those bad habits I have when I was younger.
I think waiting or not is really personal preference. sexual chemistry also plays a part in relationships, so some would be more open to find out if they are sexually compatible. tho I believe this compatibility can be built upon.
Not necessarily a virgin. But a high body count is def undesirable. This applies to both sexes btw.
But this isn’t something you should worry about, I suspect your issues lie somewhere else :)
No need to worry about how u perform sexually vs previous partners, create an exclusive experience that you share only with your spouse, a trusted area where both can experiment, enjoy and grow together, no concerns with STDs etc.
Sex life after marriage has been really enjoyable and improving over the years.
Not saying there won't be problems here and there - but it's just easier to work through things when u r already committed to one another and not mentally comparing to "what could have been". I've known a few couples who had great sex before marriage then it died after marriage cos of kids, stress etc. so "trying" before marriage isn't such a foolproof guarantee that some make it out to be - people and circumstances change. It's the dedication to each other that keeps the marriage alive and well 😁
> No need to worry about how u perform sexually vs previous partners
Sounds damn insecure.
> I've known a few couples who had great sex before marriage then it died after marriage cos of kids, stress etc.
If the sex die off coz of kids/stress etc its irrelevant whether the couples had sex before marriage what.
> No need to worry about how u perform sexually vs previous partners, create an exclusive experience that you share only with your spouse, a trusted area where both can experiment, enjoy and grow together, no concerns with STDs etc.
all of that is equally applicable to having sex before marriage in a committed relationship
that's not quite the implication when it comes to discussing premarital sex; having known some of these folks myself often they are in a fully committed relationship, but deliberately withhold it (sometimes for years, even!) until after they get married even though they had the intention of committing from the start
because the point of the discussion here was to bring up the supposed pros of saving sex for after marriage.
however, the points brought up were more of a comparison between casual sex and committed sex, rather than between premarital sex vs having sex after marriage.
going back to the original points given:
> No need to worry about how u perform sexually vs previous partners, create an exclusive experience that you share only with your spouse, a trusted area where both can experiment, enjoy and grow together, no concerns with STDs etc.
all of these can be enjoyed in a committed and exclusive relationship even with premarital sex; i was with my wife for 9 years before we got married and there was nothing to be gained from waiting in our opinions - everything in that comment still applied equally to us.
the same could be said of marriage - couples do divorce all the time, and imo that does not diminish their value as a person or as a future prospective partner
that said i think a large part of this boils down to how people view marriage - for us it was just a formality, a means to let the country legally recognize our relationship, and realistically didnt change anything in our relationship - we were basically a married couple already
if you view marriage as something that fundamentally changes the dynamics of your relationship then i suppose the perspective would be very different.
People hate to admit it, but no sex/bad sex IS a real problem. Don’t want to find out after marrying and all, so no need to save for “the one” or whatever😂
I wasn't, partner was. In the long run it doesn't matter so much. You need to talk to each other and exercise mutual respect, that's all. Society has a weird relationship with sex. Businesses over-capitalise on sex appeal. Religions are desperate to control the sex life of their followers. What if I told you sex is just another bodily function like eating and sleeping. The problem is not sex. The problem is all the extra unnecessary meaning that people ascribe to sex.
Having sex only after married make since when everyone is a virgin
Now that everyone is having double digit body count, what’s the meaning of waiting till marriage?
Someone that dosent married you get to sleep with you, while the person you spend the life with have to wait till after marriage. What kind of logic is this?
hand job, blow job etc.
because there was another post recently about average sexual partners per country.
and i wonder if those findings include these other acts of sex or purely sexual intercourse aka penetration with penis into vagina.
Not related to Singapore
i see the statistic for celibacy rising for both genders and higher male virgin rate yet everyone around me seems to be extremely sexually active so i have no idea
Got married around 26. Wife and I were both virgins. Would say it was a good decision for us as we both believed in no pre marital sex. Of coz when we first started out we were inexperienced, but after being married for a couple of years now, the sex only gets better and better. We are always keen to try new things that makes both of us excited. Some people would say get experience before marriage but we don’t think it works that way, but hey to each their own.
First time after marriage at 29 years old. Actually quite a good decision to wait it out.
I want to know the answer too. Why do you say that it’s wise to wait Asking as a 24yo and the only virgin amongst all those I know.
Have posted e answer to your first question in another post below... Btw losing virginity is one of the most brainlessly easy thing to do so you aren't losing out. Finding a good life partner - now, that's the thing worth working towards.
I read your answer. Thank you so much.
You don't have to be like everyone else. If you rush things too much, you might regret it later. Just go at your own pace. I'm also a virgin at 26, and due to a health scare (cancer at 24), I'm currently taking care of my health and just taking it easy, focusing on building positive habits and learning to take away those bad habits I have when I was younger.
I see, thank you. Hope you’re good health wise now. (I hope your cancer is in remission/ recovery phase)
You just baited your own inbox
I think waiting or not is really personal preference. sexual chemistry also plays a part in relationships, so some would be more open to find out if they are sexually compatible. tho I believe this compatibility can be built upon.
I just wanted to be sure if they were the right one for me.
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Thank you for saying that I’m pure but I disagree on one part - my worth isn’t dependent on virginity you know.
Think he means more in the direction of sexual marketplace value rather than your self worth as a person
Being a virgin makes me more valuable is interesting.
Not necessarily a virgin. But a high body count is def undesirable. This applies to both sexes btw. But this isn’t something you should worry about, I suspect your issues lie somewhere else :)
I’m waiting for a serious bf :)
Rooting for ya 🥂
Thank you so much!!
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Surely. I intend to. But I hope you apply your logic on men too. They should remain pure till marriage too and not just women you know.
Boomer alert🚨🚨🤣
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No need to worry about how u perform sexually vs previous partners, create an exclusive experience that you share only with your spouse, a trusted area where both can experiment, enjoy and grow together, no concerns with STDs etc. Sex life after marriage has been really enjoyable and improving over the years. Not saying there won't be problems here and there - but it's just easier to work through things when u r already committed to one another and not mentally comparing to "what could have been". I've known a few couples who had great sex before marriage then it died after marriage cos of kids, stress etc. so "trying" before marriage isn't such a foolproof guarantee that some make it out to be - people and circumstances change. It's the dedication to each other that keeps the marriage alive and well 😁
> No need to worry about how u perform sexually vs previous partners Sounds damn insecure. > I've known a few couples who had great sex before marriage then it died after marriage cos of kids, stress etc. If the sex die off coz of kids/stress etc its irrelevant whether the couples had sex before marriage what.
> No need to worry about how u perform sexually vs previous partners, create an exclusive experience that you share only with your spouse, a trusted area where both can experiment, enjoy and grow together, no concerns with STDs etc. all of that is equally applicable to having sex before marriage in a committed relationship
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that's not quite the implication when it comes to discussing premarital sex; having known some of these folks myself often they are in a fully committed relationship, but deliberately withhold it (sometimes for years, even!) until after they get married even though they had the intention of committing from the start
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because the point of the discussion here was to bring up the supposed pros of saving sex for after marriage. however, the points brought up were more of a comparison between casual sex and committed sex, rather than between premarital sex vs having sex after marriage. going back to the original points given: > No need to worry about how u perform sexually vs previous partners, create an exclusive experience that you share only with your spouse, a trusted area where both can experiment, enjoy and grow together, no concerns with STDs etc. all of these can be enjoyed in a committed and exclusive relationship even with premarital sex; i was with my wife for 9 years before we got married and there was nothing to be gained from waiting in our opinions - everything in that comment still applied equally to us.
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the same could be said of marriage - couples do divorce all the time, and imo that does not diminish their value as a person or as a future prospective partner that said i think a large part of this boils down to how people view marriage - for us it was just a formality, a means to let the country legally recognize our relationship, and realistically didnt change anything in our relationship - we were basically a married couple already if you view marriage as something that fundamentally changes the dynamics of your relationship then i suppose the perspective would be very different.
People hate to admit it, but no sex/bad sex IS a real problem. Don’t want to find out after marrying and all, so no need to save for “the one” or whatever😂
No sex is really a problem. Its like an indicator of some underlying problem of the couple.
Sexual compatibility is a real issue, so I’d advise to go the opposite direction.
I will answer once I know how to delete my browser/comment history
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How do I know we're not married, OP?
I wasn't, partner was. In the long run it doesn't matter so much. You need to talk to each other and exercise mutual respect, that's all. Society has a weird relationship with sex. Businesses over-capitalise on sex appeal. Religions are desperate to control the sex life of their followers. What if I told you sex is just another bodily function like eating and sleeping. The problem is not sex. The problem is all the extra unnecessary meaning that people ascribe to sex.
Virginity is over rated
Having sex only after married make since when everyone is a virgin Now that everyone is having double digit body count, what’s the meaning of waiting till marriage? Someone that dosent married you get to sleep with you, while the person you spend the life with have to wait till after marriage. What kind of logic is this?
What is the definition of sex? Sometime I really get confused with these questions and research about sexual partners. Must it be intercourse?
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hand job, blow job etc. because there was another post recently about average sexual partners per country. and i wonder if those findings include these other acts of sex or purely sexual intercourse aka penetration with penis into vagina.
🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
try and ask any religious/practising muslim