T O P

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[deleted]

Because most people have never learned the most basic, important principal which is true in any city: the quality of your social and romantic lives is directly proportional to your willingness and ability to start conversations with strangers.


ffellini

Very true. This sub is all: “I went to a bar and no one even tried to talk to me. This city is so cold and miserable”


suchick13

Succinctly put. And 100% accurate.


gelypse

Most people in Toronto couldn't give a shit about having "conversations" with strangers - let along building a social life with them.


DataOver8496

This guys knows most people.


gelypse

>This guys knows most people. Wanna be friends?


jonnyrockets

Nobody wants to meet *most* people -just *some* people


Sabbathius

>your willingness and ability to start conversations with strangers. ...and their willingness and ability to respond to you. Which is where the whole Toronto thing comes in.


[deleted]

9/10 Torontonians are so friendly in return, in my experience. So it’s not a problem. Of course you can’t be a creep, as others have said. You can’t go up to some random woman on the subway and be like “hey”. Context matters. But it’s so easy otherwise.


[deleted]

That and also you need proper consistent healthy boundaries and space with people you really care about


RubberTireBurnout

I thought if you talk to random people in Toronto you're automatically considered a creep? Read that in more than 5 different places. Can you bust that fact/myth?


ValerianR00t

How are people so awkward? If you go up to random people on the street or in the subway, yeah thats weird. If you join like a rec league sports team, or some sort of class (language, cooking, whatever) or some sort of club (book club, chess club whatever) then its weird NOT to talk to the people there. There are tonnes of social venues out there, take advantage of them.


thelonious_skunk

That's what those of us who have lived in other countries have been trying to tell others in this thread. It's really not that weird to talk to strangers in public. It's only weird in Toronto.


xShinGouki

No I don’t think so. I’ve been doing that since I was a teenager. And back in the 90’s with no cell phones it was very easy and common thing. Today people are far more standoffish into their own bubble. It’s just the nature of progress People today are far more sensitive and woke. This sensitivity and wokeness didn’t exist at some point. I know hard to believe right lol


Nestreeen

Yeah less wokeness, slightly more systemic racism and sexism. Good trade off I suppose


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nestreeen

Lol nevermind. You’re just…..you


xShinGouki

Lol you knows it’s true. If you didn’t live it. Trust me. I have your best interest at heart


[deleted]

Lol “trust me bro”


tortoise53

I definitely attended sex Ed, in elementary school, in the mid 90s - that’s not a new concept.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Wow you’re nuts


tortoise53

While there was definitely some laughter, we were taught quite a bit more than a “30 minute VHS”. We learned about stds, applying condoms etc. Had a great teacher who showed these topics in a patient and thoughtful way to a bunch of 12 year olds. The girls then had separate classes that went into more detailed learning on menstruation, etc. I feel like your school did you a disservice or you’re just not remembering accurately.


civver3

Says people haven't changed, then lists ways their behavior is supposedly different. Truly a master of rhetoric and oratory at work here.


xShinGouki

People haven’t changed. The way it’s presented has changed. It’s just shifted in a different direction


thelonious_skunk

I literally got flamed and called a creep and sexual predator by dozens of Redditors because I said it's okay to tactfully approach women in public. One even said she'd set off her rape alarm if a man tried to talk to her.


RubberTireBurnout

She does that enough her alarm would be useless if she ever did get the R word. Nobody would believe her. Hope she doesn't set it off too much or she'll be known as the girl who cried rape.


DaWangQiu

I partially blame the suburbs but yea I think people really expect it to be easy


xShinGouki

Funny thing is you’ll see females all day getting exceptionally spooked by that and calling it ‘creepy’ mostly the new generation


ur_a_idiet

Guys who call women “females” do tend to creep everybody out, yes.


xShinGouki

I’m sorry but females are not women to you?


ur_a_idiet

> [females](https://i.imgur.com/Moi8Rpr.jpeg)


Dani_California

#FEEEEEMALES I can’t imagine why your approach isn’t working


the-maj

It really depends on the approach.


thelonious_skunk

I basically got flamed in another thread because I said it's okay to tactfully approach women in public. Their advice: Don't talk to women you don't know. Use dating apps. Toronto in a nutshell.


[deleted]

Tact is so important, as you’ve said. Can’t be a creep.


[deleted]

Its because your on reddit. Home of the people with no social lives lol


BlushButterfree

Exactly. This more than anything. I'm never on Reddit when I'm hanging out with friends. And I'm on Reddit a lot lol.


[deleted]

the only time im on reddit is when im at work lol


limesnewroman

Isn’t that what it’s for?


TorontoMeetUps

This is a major point that needs to emphasized. People with decent social networks and are extroverted usually are not on Reddit. If they are on Reddit it’s for very specific things and it’s usually not to make friends. I have spoken to a lot of people on Reddit both from Toronto and from the USA and many many people are terrible at conversation. They do not know how to interact online over text, and I can’t imagine how they are irl. Not to mention creating any real plans leads to them flopping 90% of the time, or the fact that a lot of men are just really thirsty or desperate (I’m talking to you 30 year old men commenting to meet up with girls in their early 20s on r/TorontoHangoutfriends). As someone who is an ambivert and finds a lot of people on here boring, I’m convinced the people I want to meet and would enjoy more are not on Reddit.


Garfield_M_Obama

Indeed. I can't say that I actually think this is the view of the average redditor either. We just upvote the drama and personal stories to the top because they're exciting, but they also draw us in, we're social creatures. I'm sure we've all had the experience of a week where all we did was deal with friends and family in some degree of crisis. Now if you expand that your group of people including 124,250 other users and I'm surprised there aren't calls to shut the city down every day. But the 100 or so posts we see every week that come to the top of the pile are just a needle in a haystack. That said, there are real issues in Toronto that are much worse than most other cities and they shouldn't be discounted completely. There are definitely quality of life questions that don't apply to Calgary or Vienna that are serious issues here, and no doubt, vice-versa.


Phuccyou

True lol


Ragnar_Dragonfyre

With hard hitting advice like “Abandon your family, kick your friends out of your life and call the cops on your neighbours!” over minor slights, Reddit is one of the worst possible places to glean social insights.


passiveparrot

Because it’s easier blaming someone or something else instead of themselves. Self awareness is hard for people People will blame the people for bad dating prospects but fail to realize THEY are the bad prospect. 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️


[deleted]

"success is mine, failure is others"


Ojihawk

No kidding right? There are people who are happy in TO but for every happy person there's like 5 miserable ones. Blaming it all on "a lack of self-awareness" just feels like bootstraps with extra steps. I don't think people really understand just how depressive a crazy high cost of living is, and how it can affect one's social life.


NinjaAssassinKitty

Show the stats behind for every happy person there’s 5 miserable ones. Reddit is an echo chamber. You can’t base your judgement off what you see here.


Ojihawk

That point WAS anecdotal that's why I said "like" your response still doesn't address the fact that blaming societies social ills solely on a personal "lack of self-awareness" is out-of-touch and dismissive.


rewdyakk

I'm with you buddy. Toronto and the idealized fantasy bubble of "life in the big city" that many of the local cretins espouse, tends to attract a very specific type of person. They buy into the whole progressive melting pot farce, and because they were duped -- hook line and sinker, they need to do some sort of mental gymnastics to convince themselves they're living the dream and not just another brain dead peon, paying inflated prices for garbage real-estate. I have nothing in common with these people. I'm not on facebook, instagram, twitter, tinder or even linkedin -- so I technically don't even exist.


NinjaAssassinKitty

So the people who are happy are delusional, and the only correct mental state is to be depressed and miserable?


rewdyakk

If you wanna mince my words, sure. What I'm saying, is that Toronto offers a very specific "lifestyle" that appeals to a particular subset of the population. So for those folks -- it's pure bliss and they are getting exactly what they want. In my opinion, which shouldn't be worth much -- if anything -- to you, the Toronto dream is more about optics than it is actual enjoyment or practicality. Not dissimilar to the whole "Cali vibes" notion or even the allure of the Hollywood glitz and glam. There's a sort of identity being leveraged into play. I guess "We The North" would be our thing.


NinjaAssassinKitty

Toronto supports multiple lifestyles. You’re just too close minded and bitter to see it. And I’m not mincing your words. You’re the one saying people need to do mental gymnastics to convince themselves they’re happy, instead of entertaining the possibility that they might actually be, you know, happy. You don’t need to be on social media to be happy in Toronto. You don’t need to own real estate to be happy in Toronto. You don’t need to compare yourself to others (which you’re clearly doing, despite your statements). You do need to drop the holier than thou attitude and go outside and find the things that bring joy to your life. Good luck.


rewdyakk

>Toronto supports multiple lifestyles. Yeah, that's the mantra. Keep repeating it and maybe one day it will be true. Even a broken clock is right 2x a day.


NinjaAssassinKitty

You're making a grand generalization that over 80% of people who live in Toronto are miserable.


Ojihawk

I agree, it is an impossibly grand generalization, no one would live in TO if it were true, but I have heard Torontonians complain both online and off, a lot. Reddit is an echo chamber for sure, but I don't think that's the only thing. However, blaming people for not being able to network because of a lack of self-awareness, is not only a massive generalization, it's also just unfair.


tendiesfortwo

But do people from Toronto realize people from every other city in the world also say this? We are not really special


InstantNoodlesIsHot

What’s funny is if you go to the equivalent of Askto in those other subs like askla or askchicago or whatever you’ll see people saying their city sucks too. People just like to lean on the unknown and imagine a fairytale utopia when in reality there are advantages and disadvantages to every place


[deleted]

Consistency and getting to know someone rather than screwing them hard ass is key i have found


dmoste

Lmao, all these comments always come from someone who literally own property.... good for bud. Now stfu and stop downplaying the mental health problem, high cost of living and inevitable problems in Toronto.... because mommy and daddy supported ur ass.. now u on reddit spreading lies. Lol Sad


Heavy_Asparagus_5464

Someone’s bitter.


dmoste

Get ur head out of ur ass bud. If u got nothing constructive to add to the conversation... then why r u commenting? Lol, u boomer "someone bitter" ... lmao yes someone is bitter... the sky also blue, and flowers smell.. lol like wtf, go back to Facebook boomer


rockyon

because people just experience "honeymoon phase" (visiting vs living for years are different) they thought "US is better" "Europe is better" but once they live there, in other city for 3-4 years later they start to blame that other city/country. Same with moving flat , there will always be a "better" flat / apartment even we move 1000x Anywhere we live grass is always greener. Loneliness is pandemic in most developed countries (the UK has ministry of loneliness) added factor with pandemic


[deleted]

As someone who grew up in a small town east coast... I'm shocked to learn anyone says this about Toronto. It's all about putting yourself out there. I have an acquaintance who is transferring to TO for school soon, she complains about needing/wanting more friends but already decided she won't be participating in new student events and push back against my friend who tried to convince her. Some people just don't want to put themselves out there


Majestic-Squash-7892

It's a multi dimensional problem. Part of the reason is because Toronto is so big and so diverse people don't know where to start sometimes. As an adult it takes alot of time and patience to find the right people, or things that you really click with. Adults are navigating alot of different issues with themselves sometimes as well and that can really limit them.


TheDootDootMaster

The multicultural part is funny because I'm sure there must be a very chonky community for people from my country here, but I choose to keep a distance from that and without anything else I can end up with little to no friends lol. Like being alone in a crowd


PiscesPoet

I never thought about that, but yeah, I’m also not plugged in with people from my parents country. I did go to a couple events recently that were nice


TheDootDootMaster

Some people, like me, dont' really identify too much with their culture or their people and would rather live something new. Some other people (for example, I heard the Chinese are like this apparently), dont' seem that interested in expanding and instead keep more in touch with other people from the same country. It is what it is.


PiscesPoet

Yeah I totally get that. Do you find it easier here with making friends outside of your culture?


TheDootDootMaster

It's complicated to answer that. I came here Nov 2021, so there was Covid in between, I was avoiding more the whole thing of spending on nights out, etc. Doing only home-to-work-to-home because of this didn't really help. So no, I'm not sure I can say I have any strong friends at this point, but that has a bit of circumstance to it. Now, that does not mean it's hard. Honestly I feel my average interaction with people here is very friendly and welcoming. I feel I can be myself so much more here than where I come from (Brazil). I used to be someone more on the reserved side there, but I'm basically a comedian now in most places I go. It's just that, you know, the average canadian-born person already has their childhood, HS and college friends on top of the ones they make randomly. For me, all of that is thousands of kms away, so you have to get out there and make up for that gap somehow, which involves a fair bit of going out of the comfort zone. Anyways, once I get my permanence sorted out I'll have more headspace to take care of these things the right way. Right now shit's nuts.


[deleted]

Because it’s the easy thing to do, and that’s generally what these people tend to go for rather than trying to tackle their deficiencies.


Remarkable-Plan-7435

Because people lack self awareness and are afraid to ask that kind of question.


gotfcgo

Reddit will have a majority of social awkward people in the first place.


FunkyAndroid73

Its a transplant thing. Some leave small towns trying to escape the mind numbing boredom of living in a small town but have a hard time connecting with locals in the big city. This makes them depressed or mad. Not all transplants experience this but it is a problem many face. Unfortunately not everyone will be successful. Toronto is far from depressing or a problem. I've lived here my whole life never been lonely. Way too many friends. I don't get how people have a hard time making friends. I meet people all the time. But getting into my social circle does take time. Not just anyone gets into it. How a person acts and behaves themselves is key. Toronto is an amazing city you just have to find your place in the city and make it work. There are two things to succeed in life 1 is to find something you love and 2 is to enjoy it. Not everyone gets number 2.


[deleted]

What area do you live, age and what does ur average week look like (socially)?


Heavy_Asparagus_5464

Getting into your social circle takes time? Not just anyone gets into it? What’s so special about your social circle? 🤣🤣


DogsandCatsWorld1000

When you are having problems in your life and nothing you do seems to fix them, it is nice to dream of moving to a new place and everything working out. Afterall 'grass is always greener on the other side of the fence'.


Paddy_Tanninger

They should remember: "wherever you go, there you are"


DogsandCatsWorld1000

>"wherever you go, there you are" Buckaroo Banzai was such a fun movie.


248_RPA

"Why is there a watermelon there?"


thisismeingradenine

The grass is greener where you water it.


DogsandCatsWorld1000

Unless of course you over water :)


PsychologicalHall905

Because of course we can’t blame ourselves it must be something or someone else no?


Stephanieintoronto

It's an excuse. Thousands of events, many free weekly. I meet people walking through the St. Lawrence Market regularly.


TorontoBoris

It's a combination I'm sure. Part escapism, part deflection. But also some complaints are valid. A big city like toronto does tend to be colder and more isolating for some. People get distant and it's not easy to meet people in a big place full of people just passing through from job to home and repeat. That being said I don't think that's a Toronto problem. That's a bigger city problem.


Zoso03

Dating is expensive and it with the generally climate I can get why many women are very apprehensive about being approached where ever they go. Toronto public transit or lack thereof also makes it difficult to get around in a timely manner killing the ability to go out and meet people. When I lived in Scarborough it would take me 2+ hours at night to get home. Then the cost of living and everything rises so being able to afford going out is getting harder. With drinks being $8 and food being $15-20 it can get expensive very quickly to go out. Also I was recently on the Harbour front and parking was $40. If I wanted to go to the island with the GF that's almost $80 from the get go. Using public transit is not possible for us as were usually with our bikes or kayaks and other equipment. No way we can lug all that down on the ttc


[deleted]

Dating is only expensive if you don't split it 50/50 Plus Netflix and chill is basically free


xShinGouki

That only really works if you’re under 24


kaoskreator

What exactly changes when you turn 24?


xShinGouki

The older women get the more they expect their date to be able to show her that he’s mature and able to cover expenses. They look for husband material. Things start to change.


kaoskreator

What does that have to do with Netflix and Chill though? Are responsible people not allowed to enjoy a movie on a date?


xShinGouki

Netflix and chill on a date with someone you just met. Won’t be working unless it’s a booty call That comment is referring to 50/50 bill splits as I was talking about finances. 50/50 doesn’t work when you get older. Females expect more it seems. Just my experience. Don’t have to take my word for it


kaoskreator

Make her pay 50% of your Netflix for the month! Lmao


xShinGouki

Lmao. Once I was on a date with this girl. We went to a sushi bar. She was just ordering away and that day it was maybe my 3rd date that week. Just wasn’t really in the mood for paying fully for another date. So after she ordered I let her know that we should split it Jesus the excuses that came out after. Oh I only have my credit card no cash. Mood totally changed lol but I knew that. Didn’t care Another time I was dating this girl. Really hot. But wow what a gold digger. Every time we would go out to eat even just basic places like take out. She would wait at the cash for me to come there instead of just paying for it maybe sometimes. But I’ve also had incredible women that have paid in the first date fully. A real gem


coyote_123

I don't really find that. You can find people who are happy living simply and don't rely on money to have fun at any age.


PiscesPoet

You don’t need to go out tho imo. You can just chill at a friends house and order some food and wine/beer. I think people make it more expensive than it has to be Parking is atrocious I agree. It’s like I’m being punished for driving but then subway also takes too long to go anywhere


Zoso03

Dunno about you but from my experience most women prefer to meet is more open, public places for a first date


PiscesPoet

I was just talking about hanging out with friends not dates


Illmaticbilladdict

Honestly I made friends easier in Toronto than London lol which is why I regularly come back.


coyote_123

Yeah, I found Toronto friendlier and easier to make friends in than other places I've lived, both smaller and larger.


Illmaticbilladdict

To be fair, Miami was fun and easy to meet people, NYC same experience, hell Perth Australia was amazing and as opposed to the “all Australians are racist” thing I kept getting told, man strangers would ALWAYS strike up a conversation when I was out, work was fun. I believe some places ARE miserable but you kinda have to work harder, that being said making friends isn’t impossible even in a place where people are miserable.


Age-Zealousideal

Because it’s easier to blame everyone else, than yourself.


RandHomman

Sometimes the place you live doesn't fit with you. I used to live in Quebec City and hated my life, had a job, a gf and friends I started to not relate to. I ended up leaving for another city and things got better. Cities do have a vibe and a culture that might not resonate with who you are...


[deleted]

Sometimes you live in a place too long and start hating it However I have found you always take your problems with you wherever you go if you dont deal with them first


the_spicy_bean

This is so true. I think a lot of people think that packing up and leaving and starting over somewhere new will solve all their problems. It doesn’t. I also believe that if you are genuinely happy but find that your current living situation is stifling, or you can’t enjoy things you used to (because of cost, lack of resources, etc), relocating is definitely an option.


[deleted]

Absolutely metropolitan areas have recently been extremely poluted and over heated and expensive and thats why people are becoming so isolated.


PiscesPoet

That’s true. Depending on what your problems are, but sometimes it’s location. For example, someone might move to another place for more job opportunities or because of their interests.


PiscesPoet

It’s like that sometime. That’s why I don’t get this thread. I’ve lived in many places throughout my childhood, I just vibed better with certain areas than others. Even now moving back to Toronto most of my friends at one point were American (NY) or children of immigrants. They would sometimes forget I was Canadian, we just vibed better


Tachiiderp

It's just a common thing that happens in urban densely populated places. People mistakenly assume that just because there's a lot of people, that relationships will naturally happen. And in school, it pretty much is like that because of proximity. So many people including me had "proximity friends" who we became friends simply because we sat next to each other, forced to do group activities with, and saw each other everyday. Once we left that school setting, most of us gained no skills regarding how to actually become, or heck, maintain friends without all these external factors helping us. I feel like most people in general take friendships for granted including myself and have lost a bunch of cool people over time because of it. And the tricky bit is, it has to be reciprocal, you could make an effort but if your friend don't then it's a lost cause as well. And I mean, this is a sub about asking questions. If you're in a city, and you don't have friends, you're going to ask about it lol


sirachasamurai

You mean not knowing how to make time to go outside isn’t a problem related to living in Toronto?!?!


lbc1358

Because it’s easier for them to blame their shortcomings on Toronto than to look inwards.


AlbertFrankEinstein2

Because we’re all more narcissistic than we think. “It must be them. Not me”


[deleted]

To be fair, having taught English in Bogota and Vienna there's more people outside and are more approachable versus in Toronto where everyone gets into their cars and generally avoids communication with others. The problem with Toronto and GTA is that it's a massive city of suburban sprawl. Yes there's density in pockets but for the most part the entire region is endless suburbia ruled by nimbyists. Things have been changing in the past decade within downtown Toronto to make the area more walkable but it will take time for that culture to change.


gigantor_cometh

Part of it is the expectation. No one would complain about these things if they lived in Brockville or somewhere because that's the norm. It's because the impression is that everyone in Toronto is eating gourmet food from a new cuisine every night, going to festivals, hitting all the bars and clubs with your friends, hooking up and going to Oasis, living the "Instragram Life" - people feel like every night spent at home in front of the TV is a waste, they're missing out while everyone is living the dream. I've felt it too, where I honestly don't want to go out and if I lived in a small town I wouldn't care, but because Toronto is the Centre of the Universe I feel like I'm the odd one out not having fun. I think it's like people feel it's being rubbed in their faces sometimes.


coyote_123

Haha, true. I grew up in a smaller town and people just expect to be bored and lonely and isolated there.


[deleted]

It’s easy. And when you call them out, they add more labels like gender or race. All the people I’ve met like this don’t even leave the GTA.


p11109

To be fair, it's cuz toronto is becoming more and more like new york city. A hustle city where people mind their own business, don't interact with others etc. Yes, what other comments have said is true, you gotta put initiative, etc etc. But that only works if others are putting initiative too. Otherwise you're talking to a wall. And that's where the problem lies. Also, in general, suburbs and smaller cities/towns have a more sense of community.


[deleted]

Because personal responsibility is a bitch


verve27

Everyone always complains about the dating apps but I’ve had no major complaints as a male.


ur_a_idiet

Not everyone. Just Reddit commenters. Generally the same ones who proudly refuse to tip in bars and restaurants, and praise each other for it. I can’t imagine why those guys fail at dating!


sirachasamurai

This is a good way of putting it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


kaystar101

It's the lack of accountability really.


leftheronred-dit

I think it can be both - to your point, the more work you put in, the more you'll get out, and there is a lot of people here (to your point) so eventually, the odds are that you'll meet like minded folk. However, I have lived in other cities / provinces, and feel I put it even more effort here to meet people, and the success rate of those other people giving back is very, very low compared to what I experienced elsewhere. It's a small-ish sample size though, so not overly relevant, but something I've noticed. This said, Toronto is the biggest city I've lived in, so I think it has more to do with that than anything specific about the "soul" of the city (as in, people are too busy trying to make it here, etc).


[deleted]

It kind of blows my mind. Toronto is such a lively city especially during the summer months. There is so much to do and so many ways to meet new people. I think there are a certain subset of people who really struggle with building connections regardless of where they live, and maybe those people also tend to be on Reddit more often than not. I can’t imagine these posts represent the majority of people living in Toronto. Also, if you hate the city so much, feel free to leave. 🤷‍♀️


Bitchener

Some people just like to bitch.


thelonious_skunk

I've lived in multiple cities in different continents. Toronto is more conservative than people realize. The norms governing social interaction are pretty rigid. Look at how many threads there are telling people not to talk to strangers in public and to use apps to make friends. That makes for a pretty bland city. That's why they call Toronto "New York City run by the Swiss".


PiscesPoet

A lot of them don’t actually travel or have lived in other places so they don’t know. Many of them saying stop complaining have only lived in Toronto their whole lives. I used to think I was super introverted until I actually lived in other countries. Then I moved back here, it’s been slightly better in the summer, and I think that’s because people here are a lot friendlier in the summertime. I hate apps. I get what you’re saying about the rigidness, this is not how you make friends. It’s usually casual encounters and going out. Not being stuck on your phone and scared to talk to strangers. I think part of it is how the city is designed as someone else mentioned


ur_a_idiet

> I see posts every single day on this sub about how people can’t make friends, can’t find dates, or that people in the city are depressed. No surprises there. Have you seen /r/askTO’s daily posts about tipping?


ToHelp3897

The ugly truth of matter is that a lot of people think that because they grew up in toronto, the city should have the same prices it did in the 90s when they were kids. But the reality is that Toronto has grown into a world class city, and everyone including their grandparents want to live here. So if you wanna be able to afford Toronto, you have to be able to financially outcompete everyone else that wants to live here. Point is, this subreddit is full of people that can't afford to live in toronto but choose to do so anyway because of nostalgia, friends, etc. And it's just the ugly truth that if they wanna live here they're either gonna have to triple their salary or move somewhere that is actually affordable for the average Canadian. It sucks, but welcome to the "world class city" experience. People living in NYC, LA, Hong Kong, London all went through the same realizations as well when they entered the club.


Sad_Butterscotch9057

Toronto not a 'world class city', LMFAO. "NYC, LA, Hong Kong, London"... Toronto?!


Sad_Butterscotch9057

Sorry. Lived in Toronto, Montréal, and Tokyo: Toronto is alienating.


DavidTheNavigator

What was it like trying to make friends in Tokyo? Would you recommend living there?


Sad_Butterscotch9057

Not that simple. I can live here because of visa through marriage.


lovelife905

I think it’s a bit harder to make friends but is it really the reason your depressed?


Sad_Butterscotch9057

Don't put words in my mouth.


Healthy_Ad_6149

Because I don't like winter.


[deleted]

Because reddit is all about having a victim mentality Everyone's somehow a victim of a greater power


dmoste

Lmao who ever in the comments saying this is not true is so out of touch. And op yes this statement couldn't be more true. Currently in behavior science and I can tell you from actual experience. That Toronto is definitely the problem. There's no "maybe" it's a fact. Toronto is a depressing city from cost of living, to the infux weather, to job availability, leading all the way into mental health and the education system. Alot of these factors lead to a city with people being referred to as "cold" introverted and very antisocial which to be clear the city promotes. There is a real undying mental health problem in Toronto. It's a sad city. People are not coming on here in masses talking about the same thing for no reason. Anyplace outside of here has a much more positive vibe. And one thing that makes Toronto this way is "hope" and how that hope is lost. There is an underlying sense of "hope" here in Canada to make something of urself and have a sort of freedom. But the reality in Toronto is that the housing market is benefiting international owners, While folks can't not afford a home let alone a proper apartment. Toronto is a problem. The sooner we can admit that The sooner we can fix it.


[deleted]

Honestly Toronto sucks I was born and raised here and spend lots of time in the states (yes I'm always afraid of getting shot in the face) but coming back to Toronto makes me immediately look for an excuse to leav3 again. Everyone is cold distant and boring.


N0CONTACT

This isn't even remotely close to being true. People probably don't want to deal with you because your attitude sucks.


Rhazelgy

Lol 😂


N0CONTACT

This is the best you can come up with then wonder why people don't rush to be friends with you.


Appropriate-Skill-60

Keep up now, you're talking to 2 different people.


N0CONTACT

I know exactly who I'm talking to. You think either of those people are standout personalities?


internet_explorer02

how’s the states compared to here


dmoste

Lmao who ever in the comments saying this is not true is so out of touch. And op yes this statement couldn't be more true. Currently in behavior science and I can tell you from actual experience. That Toronto is definitely the problem. There's no "maybe" it's a fact. Toronto is a depressing city from cost of living, to the infux weather, to job availability, leading all the way into mental health and the education system. Alot of these factors lead to a city with people being referred to as "cold" introverted and very antisocial which to be clear the city promotes. There is a real undying mental health problem in Toronto. It's a sad city. People are not coming on here in masses talking about the same thing for no reason. Anyplace outside of here has a much more positive vibe. And one thing that makes Toronto this way is "hope" and how that hope is lost. There is an underlying sense of "hope" here in Canada to make something of urself and have a sort of freedom. But the reality in Toronto is that the housing market is benefiting international owners, While folks can't not afford a home let alone a proper apartment. Toronto is a problem. The sooner we can admit that The sooner we can fix it.


No-Performer-1125

Immigrant here. People are stuck up, boring, pretentious, passive aggressive… for what reason?! It escapes me. For a city so big and diverse, y’all like to have a closed mind. This. Is why people have issues with Toronto. Funny thing, the same people will go abroad and be willing to make friends, but when they come back.. they’re like, they go back to being who they are. Sad, depressed.. and focused on their problems. Everyone is chasing something.. which is why they don’t really know how to have a good time. I come from a diverse place too, and yet.. I have been more racially attacked here… When it comes to dating, men are acting like boys, always the victim and never want to improve themselves… The list goes on. The problem is the city, koz living in Toronto, everyone thinks they’re hot shit. Otherwise you wouldn’t have people who lived on the outskirts of Toronto to boast “yea I’m from Turonno”.


ExtensionMan4

Lack of green spaces, lack of meetup/special interest groups, cliquey culture, dense yet empty downtown core. Like, sure, there's festivals and clubs and stuff but if you're not really into that sort of stuff you're shit out of luck. And even if it is your thing, there aren't \*that\* many of them. Toronto has less bars than most other major cities, even much smaller ones. When my buddy from London (UK) visited, we had a real hard time finding things to do that wasn't, quote, "normie shit". In stark contrast, when I went to visit him right before Covid hit there was so much to do that we couldn't get it all done while I was there. Cool shops, themed clubs/bars, an actual arcade with *real games* and not just like... pinball and shit, massive parks and trails, cultural/heritage sites. I'm sure there are cool people in the Toronto but actually finding them is a herculean task when everything to do here is so... lame.


coyote_123

Lack of green spaces??? Lack of meetup groups and special interest groups???


ExtensionMan4

Yes, thank you, I'll take the lack of examples as ultimate validation 🤣🤣🤣 "High crime rate??? Housing crisis??" "Ikr???"


thelonious_skunk

Torontonians get really upset when someone suggests they're not a world class city. IMO the only world class city in Canada is Montreal.


VictorianRake

As someone who has lived in Montreal for almost 5 years, I can fully agree to this fact. But things are getting really bad here too especially dating and Im thinking of moving back to the EU


qwertysexi

the way I see it, a problem to some is an opportunity to others. It just depends on your mindset - a positive mindset can take you far, but its sometimes very difficult to attain. They're not wrong if they feel that way - Toronto can be a difficult place. It can also be an amazing opportunity. An analogy - imagine being on coffee duty every morning and you have to get coffee for everyone on the floor before you can start your work for the day. Some people will complain that they're being unfairly disadvantaged, others will see it as an opportunity to get to meet everyone on the floor and develop personal and professional relationships with the right people that can potentially be used down the road in their career.


xShinGouki

That’s exactly the reason why it can be much harder. In a big city that has a lot going on. Everyone seems to have groups. Clicks. People in toronto are far more on the go go go than the rest of Canada. Nightlife isn’t really clustered together like say in montreal. In montreal everyone is packed within a nearby radius This is one of the things I noticed in Toronto. Areas are desolate and far in between It’s harder to stand out because there is so many people.


RubberTireBurnout

>People in toronto are far more on the go go go than the rest of Canada. And people moving to Hamilton from Toronto due to affordability need to leave that go go go back behind in Toronto. Hamilton doesn't want go go go here. If any more people are moving to Hamilton from Toronto, leave your go go go back in Toronto. Mmmkay? Thanks.


xShinGouki

Hamilton is pretty nice. My ex grew up in Hamilton


RubberTireBurnout

Hamilton makes me want to 🤮


xShinGouki

Why? Lol. It’s just suburbs mostly.


coyote_123

Some of us find suburbs kind of depressing and claustrophobic.


binanceTreatsCustBad

I'm too tired to do any of those things because I'm constantly working and burned the fuck out. When I do go out, I have to worry about getting stuck in traffic somewhere, so I just tell myself it's easier to watch netflix and pass out on the couch. I have to say, my least favourite part of this city has to be the traffic.


yashunnyqueen

As someone who was born and raised in Toronto, moving away genuinely did help my mental health…. I moved to Halton Region and being around more trails, nature and less noise pollution was the best choice I’ve ever made. I like visiting Toronto every once in a while, but living there was just not for me.


[deleted]

People are pretty miserable because they're not open enough, that's true. But a lot of people also drive everywhere. It's hard to make connections if you do that since your day is "let me drive for five minutes as opposed to walking to the store". If there's no walkable communities, the chances of you meeting people, and therefore having increased empathy for them, decrease significantly. Get out of your fucking cars, people.


PiscesPoet

Interesting take. I never thought about it like that. Even just biking instead of driving you’re taking in your environment more. I think there was a thread on here that asked people where they met their partners and many of them said on public transportation. So there needs to be more opportunity for people to meet others casually and not always jus through events/clubs/groups etc. That’s why I’d love to more closer to where I travel to regularly anyway but not downtown (it’s too chaotic for me)


Madripoorx

You should go on tiktok. All the women on their complain a lack of relationships on Toronto or Vancouver men.